1
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‪NETFLIX 剧集

2
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:09,840
‪放过它吧

3
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:10,920
‪-别这样！
‪-说来听听

4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,400
‪托尼 真是的

5
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,600
‪只是讨论罢了

6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,480
‪你说“神”
‪但是你觉得神到底是什么呢？

7
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,960
‪我不知道神到底是什么

8
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,200
‪但是我信仰一些东西

9
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,840
‪模糊 很模糊

10
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,680
‪我们死后当然是有去处的

11
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:31,560
‪也许天堂就像一个平静的梦什么的

12
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,160
‪我不知道 你也不知道

13
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,760
‪我大概会去另一个地方

14
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,960
‪反正我希望这样

15
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,120
‪更好玩

16
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,360
‪在下面可以喝酒、乱来

17
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,760
‪对 不过你不一定会喜欢乱来的方式

18
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,520
‪基本上你会成为撒但的婊子

19
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,040
‪他从后面干你的时候
‪你会说什么呢 爸？

20
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,920
‪-同性恋
‪-对 要他好看

21
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,800
‪好姑娘

22
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‪好

23
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‪来吧

24
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‪这是它的爪爪签名

25
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‪谢谢

26
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,440
‪-布莱恩说什么了吗？
‪-嗯 他说了

27
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,560
‪-好的
‪-嗯

28
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,720
‪他说我不应该继续当饭桶

29
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,200
‪应该像个男人的样子

30
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,960
‪对 所以我给了萝西最后通牒

31
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,400
‪我说要不就继续做鸡
‪要不就和我在一起

32
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:20,960
‪嗯

33
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‪她选择了继续做鸡 很明显

34
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,360
‪真遗憾

35
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‪我年轻 自由 而且又恢复了单身

36
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,440
‪所以我在想

37
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:38,560
‪你想不想一起找妞干？

38
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,280
‪不想？好吧

39
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,360
‪-回头见
‪-回头见

40
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,280
‪再见

41
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,200
‪你好！

42
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,320
‪你好 我给你送一份报纸来

43
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,800
‪看我的脸好傻啊！

44
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:16,960
‪“难以置信”

45
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,960
‪很不错啊 要不要喝杯茶？

46
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,160
‪不用了 谢谢 能借用你的厕所吗？

47
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,120
‪穿过厨房 在后门旁边

48
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,840
‪谢谢 马上就好

49
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,160
‪（难以置信）

50
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,200
‪你干什么？

51
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,120
‪呃

52
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,160
‪把这张照片拿来放这里

53
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,880
‪这是我和丽莎小时候的照片
‪我之前没抽时间找

54
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,240
‪我知道这里应该算是你的地方

55
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,120
‪我以为你是来找一个好位置

56
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,880
‪因为你的心脏已经很弱了

57
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‪-说得好
‪-谢谢

58
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,280
‪（丽莎简约翰逊）

59
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,760
‪承认你是好人没事的 托尼

60
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,320
‪-这不是弱点
‪-对

61
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,240
‪我觉得

62
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,040
‪你一向很关心别人
‪只是用你自己的方式罢了

63
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,160
‪你总是希望别人更舒服、更开心

64
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,920
‪你只是喜欢戳别人

65
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,600
‪直到别人开始思考

66
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:32,120
‪如果不被整死 就会变得更强大

67
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,560
‪我就像疫苗一样

68
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,200
‪更像是真的很讨人厌的病毒

69
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:39,640
‪对

70
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:42,840
‪-好的
‪-回头见

71
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,200
‪-回头见
‪-上班别迟到

72
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,400
‪肯定迟到

73
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,640
‪我知道

74
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,680
‪-你好
‪-你好

75
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,960
‪我今天比你来得早

76
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:06,480
‪那是什么照片？

77
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:11,040
‪是丽莎和她弟弟小时候的照片

78
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,600
‪他刚放在那里的

79
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,280
‪你是怎么认识斯坦的？

80
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,640
‪当时我和妈妈在度假

81
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,800
‪在一个房车公园

82
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,560
‪我们在一个俱乐部跳舞的时候认识的

83
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,800
‪后来我们去吃晚餐

84
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,400
‪他跟我说了一个黄段子 我没笑

85
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,960
‪让他觉得很难堪

86
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,640
‪50年后 我还是气我自己怎么没笑

87
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,160
‪什么段子？

88
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,080
‪劳斯莱斯和死了的妓女有什么区别？

89
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:48,800
‪不知道

90
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,560
‪我的车库里没进过劳斯莱斯

91
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,080
‪真有你的 斯坦

92
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,520
‪要是我笑了就好了

93
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,320
‪他肯定不在意

94
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,520
‪对 估计你说得没错

95
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,880
‪马克吐温有一句名言叫什么来着？

96
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,000
‪“我一生担心过很多事
‪其中多数都没发生“

97
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,640
‪是的

98
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,600
‪你是怎么认识丽莎的？

99
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,040
‪90年代早期

100
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,480
‪我以为自己是作家

101
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,640
‪但其实我在吃低保

102
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,000
‪对外说自己是作家

103
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,120
‪当时丽莎是一名艺术家

104
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,200
‪刚大学毕业
‪她在坦布里集市办了一个小型展览

105
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,880
‪我到处看 主要是看她

106
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,640
‪她以为我是对她的一件作品感兴趣

107
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,760
‪于是我说我想买

108
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,880
‪她说：“你怎么付呢？”

109
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,360
‪我心想：“问得好

110
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,280
‪我付不起”

111
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,080
‪于是我说

112
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,400
‪“我可以娶你
‪然后在家里干杂活来抵账“

113
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,240
‪然后我说：“我没钱”

114
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,120
‪她说：“身上没带钱 对吧？”

115
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,640
‪我说：“不是 是根本没钱”

116
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,320
‪然后她意识到 我感兴趣的是她

117
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,080
‪于是她说

118
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,480
‪“那只能我请你吃饭咯？”

119
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:19,960
‪就是这样认识的

120
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,760
‪我们出去玩 很合拍

121
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,200
‪我们谈论音乐 等等

122
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,920
‪我们都很喜欢大卫鲍伊

123
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,960
‪还有琼尼米歇尔

124
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,360
‪这是她的最爱

125
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,680
‪我们在婚礼上还放了《一体两面》

126
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,520
‪我当时觉得
‪自己是世界上最幸运的男人

127
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:53,600
‪我要是没开玩笑说不存在来世就好了

128
00:08:54,920 --> 00:09:00,840
‪因为我想她在心底
‪是想要相信存在天堂、天使那些东西

129
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,080
‪希望她当时不…

130
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,440
‪希望她当时不害怕

131
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,600
‪她只想要有你陪她到最后

132
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,640
‪对了 而且确实有天使

133
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,920
‪没有翅膀 也不住在云间

134
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,000
‪而是穿着护士制服 辛苦工作付房租

135
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,920
‪有些为慈善组织工作
‪因为无法置他人危难于不顾

136
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,080
‪有些有四条腿 还会叫

137
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,240
‪但不论他们是什么样子
‪都是拯救生命的

138
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,880
‪有时候你会遇见他们

139
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,920
‪比如丽莎

140
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:51,520
‪还有斯坦

141
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,440
‪你会和他们结婚

142
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,440
‪我知道丽莎和斯坦现在不是天使

143
00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:58,840
‪但他们曾经是

144
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,480
‪要当天使的话 要趁自己还活着

145
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,160
‪当好人 做好事

146
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,200
‪给好男人介绍孤独的女人

147
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,760
‪你是我的天使 托尼

148
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,360
‪不好说啊

149
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,120
‪（为新的蓝知更鸟屋筹款）

150
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,360
‪好的

151
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,040
‪你为什么剃了光头？

152
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:44,280
‪因为我姐姐治疗癌症的时候头发掉了

153
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,720
‪现在我们的样子又一样了

154
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,320
‪没错

155
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:53,160
‪-你为什么要和姐姐样子一样？
‪-因为她很可爱

156
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,840
‪没错 我觉得你也很可爱

157
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,920
‪她得到了赞助
‪帮我筹集了1200镑来帮助我

158
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,520
‪太棒了 1200镑

159
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,280
‪好的 请告诉我你们的名字
‪要写到报纸上去

160
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,880
‪这样大家都知道你们多棒了

161
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,600
‪-我叫米莉
‪-米莉

162
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,680
‪我叫丽莎

163
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:18,480
‪丽莎

164
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,400
‪我妻子也叫这个名字

165
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,160
‪她在哪里？

166
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,880
‪她在家

167
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,000
‪-给你做晚餐？
‪-是的

168
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,440
‪你怎么哭了？

169
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,960
‪因为我开心啊

170
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,720
‪-开心为什么要哭？
‪-因为我是疯子

171
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,560
‪我们能拍一张照片吗？

172
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,120
‪微笑

173
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,040
‪非常好

174
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:54,960
‪今天就到这里

175
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,040
‪谢谢 再见

176
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,440
‪你在做化疗吗？

177
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,240
‪没有

178
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:10,720
‪他掉头发
‪是因为30年来只吃薯片和饼干

179
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,960
‪我要是能只吃这些就好了

180
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,560
‪对 但这样的话 你的头发就会长回来

181
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,080
‪但是兰尼只会变得越来越秃

182
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,200
‪这甚至还不是他最糟糕的特征

183
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,040
‪你觉得他像史莱克吗？

184
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,320
‪-不过他是你的朋友
‪-没错

185
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,360
‪没错 人长什么样子不重要

186
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,440
‪内在才重要

187
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,240
‪我们都知道 兰尼的内在

188
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,640
‪只有一堆薯片和饼干

189
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,760
‪你会再来吗？

190
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,560
‪我不知道

191
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,040
‪好吧

192
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,680
‪-为什么这么问？
‪-你很风趣

193
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,800
‪是嘛？

194
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,760
‪好的 我会来给你打招呼

195
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:54,720
‪明天吗？

196
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,280
‪-好的
‪-后天呢？

197
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,800
‪我会每天来 直到你开始康复

198
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,840
‪或者直到我上天堂？

199
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,160
‪你相信有天堂吗？

200
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:18,840
‪肯定有

201
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:25,680
‪又是我

202
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,640
‪说实话 要说的话也快说完了

203
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,360
‪找到一首诗 能说出我想说的话

204
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,520
‪不要站在我墓前哭泣

205
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,280
‪我不在 我不睡

206
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,360
‪我是千屡风

207
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,320
‪我是晶莹雪

208
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,600
‪我是成熟谷粒上的阳光

209
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,960
‪我是秋天雨水中的轻柔

210
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,520
‪当你在清晨宁静中醒来

211
00:13:55,320 --> 00:14:00,320
‪我是轻盈的鸟儿盘旋飞翔

212
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,360
‪我是夜里微微的星光

213
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,120
‪不要站在我墓前哭泣

214
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:10,800
‪我不在

215
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,320
‪我未逝

216
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,840
‪我要你享受生活

217
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:24,840
‪我不要你担心钱或是担心我

218
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,280
‪担心你自己就好了 好吗？

219
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,040
‪要幸福

220
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,640
‪要善良

221
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,440
‪做自己 托尼

222
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,360
‪这是什么？

223
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,320
‪噢 托尼 这我不能接受

224
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,600
‪她是你姐

225
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,760
‪我知道 但是…

226
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:00,760
‪你也失去了她

227
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,920
‪我以为不在乎是一种超能力

228
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,320
‪我想错了

229
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,080
‪在乎

230
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,200
‪才是最重要的

231
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,000
‪善良 让别人觉得舒服

232
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,440
‪这才是真正的超能力

233
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,160
‪我们都有这种超能力

234
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,240
‪有时候

235
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,040
‪我感到快乐

236
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,080
‪不是正常人的那种快乐

237
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:29,520
‪不是我以前感到的那种快乐
‪当时我并没有珍惜

238
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,600
‪而是一种满足

239
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:37,000
‪是一种流遍我全身的感觉
‪觉得世界挺好

240
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,200
‪说实话 人生很他妈精彩

241
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:44,120
‪能和丽莎生活在同一个时代
‪我是多么幸运啊？

242
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,120
‪和她一起生活

243
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:47,760
‪把我的爱都给她

244
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,800
‪之后一切都分崩离析

245
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,680
‪我记得她去世的时候 我孤独一人

246
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,360
‪我想赶紧去死

247
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,320
‪这一切都发生在转瞬之间

248
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,480
‪但又持续不断

249
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,200
‪然而今天在福利院

250
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,080
‪我见到了一个小孩

251
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,560
‪那么可爱 天真无邪

252
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,000
‪我自己的问题…

253
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:18,840
‪全都暂时放下了

254
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:19,960
‪问题还在

255
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,440
‪但是他成了我的问题

256
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:30,480
‪这似乎停止了那种落入黑暗的循环

257
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,400
‪因为我有了目标

258
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,360
‪感觉就好像

259
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,920
‪如果那个孩子活下去
‪那我也会活下去

260
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,000
‪谢谢

261
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:51,720
‪结婚礼物

262
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,120
‪我操！真的？

263
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,480
‪好慷慨啊！

264
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,680
‪你还好吗 凯思？

265
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,760
‪嗯 今晚去练大笑瑜伽

266
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,720
{\an8}‪我现在就是这样 去上课学习笑

267
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,480
{\an8}‪这给你找一个好一点的公寓

268
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,160
‪-噢 谢谢！
‪-没事

269
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,240
‪对不起 我…

270
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,320
‪没想到会有这种事

271
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,080
‪各位 今天来了一位新成员
‪不好意思 你叫什么名字？

272
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,480
‪-凯思
‪-凯思 好的 凯思 松弛一下

273
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,800
‪让笑骨抖起来

274
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,280
‪好的

275
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,280
‪大大的微笑 来吧

276
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,680
‪好

277
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,520
‪热爱生活

278
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,240
‪感到内啡肽在起作用了吧？

279
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,120
‪好笑的旧世界

280
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,480
‪不好意思 大家等一下

281
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,040
‪你能不能来大笑一下？

282
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,200
‪我很孤独

283
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,840
‪你还是先走吧
‪这里整个气氛会被你带下去

284
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,280
‪（坦布里集市 500周年！）

285
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,200
‪-你好
‪-你好！

286
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,400
‪这是杰克

287
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,320
‪-你好
‪-你好

288
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,760
‪这是托尼

289
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,320
‪是我的朋友

290
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,680
‪永远都是

291
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,640
‪-幸会
‪-幸会

292
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,680
‪-回头见
‪-再见

293
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:31,600
‪来

294
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,800
‪（坦布里集市）

295
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,920
‪好！厉害！

296
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,000
‪你好

297
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,400
‪你还好吗？

298
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,360
‪嗯

299
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,880
‪非常好

300
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,080
‪太好了

301
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,680
‪我可不能再失去一个好男人了

302
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,840
‪对了

303
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:20,920
‪谢谢你

304
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,280
‪不客气

305
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,000
‪回头见 走吧 姑娘

306
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,520
‪“巴纳比医生推开手术室门

307
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,760
‪他走在走廊里

308
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,760
‪看见一位
‪年轻美丽的非洲加勒比裔护士在哭

309
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,840
‪她做了直发 所以看起来像碧昂丝

310
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,280
‪‘怎么了 护士？你怎么哭了？’

311
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,080
‪‘因为种族歧视 医生’

312
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,600
‪‘种族歧视？

313
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:48,600
‪我厌恶种族歧视

314
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,720
‪我认为我们都是平等的

315
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,560
‪评判一个人 应当根据其品格

316
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,200
‪而不是根据其肤色

317
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,080
‪我曾经和一位中国女士做爱
‪她的眼睛很美’”

318
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,280
‪我很喜欢

319
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,840
‪喜欢这个集市？

320
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,880
‪大家都一起来这里待上几个小时

321
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,840
‪交换想法、菜谱和垃圾

322
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,400
‪留下回忆和照片

323
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,080
‪我爸曾说过
‪人生就像在游乐园坐过山车

324
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,360
‪惊险刺激 稍纵即逝

325
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,840
‪只能坐一圈

326
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,880
‪非常兴奋 都快受不了了

327
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,200
‪然后它慢下来
‪你看见别人在等着上车

328
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,440
‪你得下车让位

329
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,120
‪-圣诞快乐 孩子！
‪-小心！

330
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,880
‪拜托 各位 这是孩子们玩的

331
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,640
‪-砰！日进去了！
‪-别欺负小孩！

332
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,600
‪-那你上！
‪-这不…

333
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,400
‪你去守门 我们当着你儿子的面来！

334
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,200
‪-我不是这个意思
‪-看看你多弱鸡

335
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,920
‪当着你孩子的面 来！

336
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,800
‪来啊 大人

337
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,200
‪-要当着你孩子的面来吗？
‪-哎

338
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:12,920
‪太近了

339
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,480
‪这…

340
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,160
‪-白痴！
‪-“你不太会踢球吧？”

341
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,480
‪我太烂了

342
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,720
‪我不觉得站出来打抱不平狠烂

343
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,040
‪-你说呢 乔治？
‪-没错

344
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:30,480
‪你是我的英雄

345
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:32,560
‪而且你扑出了一个

346
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,680
‪-没错
‪-肯定扑出了一个

347
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,760
‪-爸爸很会踢球
‪-用屁股挡出去的 不过…

348
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,080
‪哎 还记得我吗？

349
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,480
‪噢 记得 狗屎侠

350
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,360
‪漫威错失了一个超级英雄

351
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,160
‪-你还是拒绝谈恋爱？
‪-没有

352
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,400
‪没有 我改变主意了 我现在很迫切

353
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:51,840
‪我是来找妞的

354
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:53,200
‪无意冒犯

355
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,800
‪而且并不是要找你 我可配不上你

356
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,560
‪我不是性别歧视 不过…

357
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,160
‪-你说得都很好啊
‪-真的？

358
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,280
‪没错

359
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,520
‪迫切 奉承 乞求 这不都很可爱吗？

360
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,400
‪我不知该说什么好了

361
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,760
‪我说实话 在过去的一年半中
‪我失去了以前的魅力

362
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,400
‪但是有女性
‪特别是你这样层次的女性

363
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,640
‪会考虑和我在一起

364
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,960
‪我真是太高兴了

365
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:19,880
‪但是你要知道

366
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,880
‪我没有以前那么猛了

367
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:25,480
‪不过性冲动是有的

368
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,520
‪我心想：“自己爽一下吧”
‪我上楼 拉上窗帘

369
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,560
‪然后准备撸一发

370
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,560
‪几分钟之后
‪我心想：“哎 还是算了吧”

371
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,760
‪我记得楼下有一块熟切达干酪
‪和一个脆皮面包

372
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:42,720
‪-这是前戏吗？
‪-哎

373
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:44,960
‪-不用谈感情
‪-没错

374
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:49,280
‪只要丑陋不堪、大汗淋漓地做爱

375
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:52,080
‪那找我就对了
‪其实我现在已经开始流汗了

376
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,040
‪-而且你很丑
‪-但我也有感觉

377
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:55,480
‪好吗？

378
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,920
‪-回头见
‪-再见

379
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,960
‪-那你喜欢什么样的性爱？
‪-我喜欢快

380
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,320
‪-快？
‪-对

381
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,240
‪继续

382
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,160
‪就差一点！
‪祝你下次运气更好一点 再见！

383
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,280
‪回头见 兄弟

384
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,320
‪大家好像都玩得很开心

385
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,360
‪-是啊 今天很不错
‪-没错

386
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,800
‪他在这里 笨蛋精灵鸡鸡
‪你演的是什么？

387
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,480
‪-宫廷小丑
‪-宫廷小丑？

388
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,120
‪更像他妈猥亵者

389
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,360
‪宫廷小丑猥亵者！

390
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,440
‪圣诞老人的小婊子

391
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:25,840
‪别欺负他

392
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,320
‪屋顶上的恋童癖开口了

393
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,760
‪真他妈的 你让我们别欺负孩子？

394
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,360
‪-应该是你不应该欺负孩子
‪-他妈的小混蛋

395
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:36,520
‪-猪！
‪-小混蛋

396
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,840
‪把你的屁股坐他脸上 亵童犯

397
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,920
‪-不要 别把你的屁股坐…
‪-看看 人体蜈蚣！

398
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,840
‪我绕过来干他后门
‪让他变他妈人体弯蜈蚣

399
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,360
‪噢 他喜欢这样

400
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,360
‪清理一下 你饿吗？
‪我中午吃了甜玉米

401
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,640
‪-真的吗？我死了算了
‪-你死了就好了 亲爱的

402
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,160
‪真他妈的 让我们看看你的脚
‪我快高潮了

403
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,400
‪够了 朋友 行了吧

404
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,640
‪真他妈的 越来越傻了 不是吗？

405
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,560
‪再说一遍 朋友？

406
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,560
‪他妈甜甜圈买一送十吗？

407
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:13,920
‪你自找的

408
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:19,840
‪真是的 太糟糕了！

409
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:24,920
‪行了

410
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:27,880
‪谢谢

411
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,240
‪又一次这样 我这悲惨的人生

412
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:32,680
‪我以为已经到了最低谷

413
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:33,600
‪原来还有更低

414
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,120
‪我想过无数次：“已经到底
‪只能反弹了”

415
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,040
‪并不是这样

416
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,520
‪“你又错了 布莱恩
‪我们给你一个惊喜”

417
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:50,480
‪在停车场
‪给坦布里足球队的助理主教练吹箫

418
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,800
‪当然是够堕落了吧？

419
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:54,960
‪不算什么

420
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:03,000
‪当着我前妻和全镇人的面
‪被干后门才算

421
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,440
‪然后吉普赛人米奇挺身而出
‪成了全场英雄

422
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,200
‪而他现在和我前妻睡

423
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:14,880
‪给我说一个笑话

424
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,080
‪小姑娘为什么会从秋千上掉下来？

425
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,520
‪-不知道
‪-因为她没手臂

426
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,240
‪很好笑

427
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,360
‪-真的？
‪-真的

428
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,160
‪噢 谢谢

429
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,320
‪你胡子上有东西

430
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:41,920
‪-嗯
‪-西红柿

431
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:42,920
‪嗯

432
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,920
‪-要喝一杯咖啡吗？
‪-好啊

433
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:50,920
‪好

434
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:51,840
‪我请客

435
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:53,920
‪-好的
‪-那来吧

436
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,840
‪好的

437
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,880
‪它们很乖吧？

438
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:02,320
‪什么意思？

439
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,000
‪不是因为不乖才来这里 对吧？

440
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,160
‪没有不好的狗 只有不好的主人

441
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,040
‪你喜欢养狗 对吧？

442
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,040
‪它救了我的命

443
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:14,840
‪它知道我什么时候难过

444
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,560
‪我总是很难过
‪所以它要弄错也挺难的

445
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,200
‪但是在夜里 当我喝酒的时候

446
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,640
‪它就在旁边

447
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:25,560
‪守着我

448
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,520
‪它也能在视频里认出丽莎

449
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,920
‪我们坐在那里 想念她
‪有了它 我至少不是孤单一人

450
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,240
‪我不相信有灵魂

451
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,600
‪但是如果真的有 那狗也有

452
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,000
‪它喜欢你

453
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,800
‪-是吧？
‪-噢 是啊

454
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,680
‪能给我养吗？

455
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:55,800
‪噢 可以啊

456
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,240
‪之前先会有一次家访
‪并要提供具体信息

457
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,360
‪我来填

458
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,920
‪她没事吧？她不是心理不稳定吧？

459
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,080
‪只是有一点孤单

460
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,160
‪只要狗去好人家 我们就放心了

461
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,280
‪她挺好的 你不是说了吗？
‪没有不好的狗 只有不好的主人

462
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:19,760
‪如果对狗不好 不给它爱 它就会这样

463
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,280
‪如果对它善良 给它希望 它就会很好

464
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,360
‪-对人也是一样
‪-狗吃什么？

465
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,200
‪什么都吃 拖鞋 树枝

466
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,840
‪玩具 呕吐物

467
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,040
‪还有狗粮

468
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,680
‪很容易

469
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,400
‪还好吗？

470
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,800
‪-你好
‪-干嘛呢？

471
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,840
‪凯思要领养一条狗

472
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,640
‪-狗通常不喜欢我
‪-为什么？

473
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,000
‪-因为我的工作
‪-你做什么工作？

474
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:54,200
‪邮递员

475
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,640
‪-你呢？
‪-我卖广告

476
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:58,560
‪噢 很好啊

477
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:03,320
‪好的

478
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,080
‪回头见

479
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,480
‪-回头见
‪-回头见

480
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,640
‪你也下水！

481
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,200
‪来嘛 托尼！

482
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960
‪托尼！

483
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:13,400
‪微笑

484
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:42,840
‪字幕翻译：朱音

