[Elsa] Ladies, thank you so much
for helping with this.
That is so nice of you.
I mean, honestly, it's not even your school.
It's amazing that your school's doing an autism-friendly dance.
Our school is shit. Literally there was a shit in the hallway last week.
[laughing]
Well, you are all invited to come and bring your kids.
You do not want me to bring Addie.
She's in a phase where she's telling everyone
to stick their head up their ass.
The other day, I got so sick of it, I hid in the garage for an hour.
Good for you.
Self-care is so important.
What about you, Elsa? Doing any self-care lately?
Um...
Nope. Same old, same old.
Really? No new hobbies?
Because, honestly, you seem very happy.
What's up, girl?
Are you just naturally that perfect?
No. No, I'm not.
I'm not perfect at all. In fact, actually, um...
I have sort of taken up a new hobby.
I've been, um...
bowling.
Bowling? Really?
Yeah.
It's crazy. Weird, right?
But it's so much fun.
And I think it's making me a better mom
and a better wife.
Bowling did all that?
Yeah. But, you know,
sometimes I feel so guilty about bowling
that I want to kill myself.
Oh, no, no, no, no. You keep bowling, lady.
I am inspired.
I might have to take up bowling myself.
Kathy, you need bowling more than anyone I've ever met.
[Sam] When you have a girlfriend,
there are always new rules to learn.
We hold hands in the hall now.
Okay.
I can't believe you're abandoning me to go to that fancy school.
Who am I gonna be friends with?
-I hate everyone else. -Dude, calm down.
Admissions is this week, and I haven't heard anything,
so I'm probably not going,
which means that I won't be going anywhere...
and my heart will be crushed.
Let's hope so.
-Silent dance? -Mm-hmm.
What's a silent dance?
It's a much better way to have a dance
where everyone listens to music on headphones instead of out loud.
Drug kids started it to have raves in the woods,
but they're great for people with sensory issues.
Who knew that meth heads and people on the spectrum had some of the same needs?
Shoot. Was that insensitive to say?
-Yes. -I don't know.
You organized this whole thing just for Sam?
-Yeah. -That's pretty cool, Paige.
Yeah, well, that's what you do when you're in love.
Sam! Oh! That's the first time we've said that to each other.
-That's so special. -I didn't say anything.
-Okay, we're gonna go. -Bye.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I know that because of your autism,
you might not know if you love me yet, and that's totally fine.
[sighs]
But if you could figure it out by Thursday, that'd be great,
because we're having dinner with my whole family
and we could break the news to them then.
[sighs happily]
[Julia] This isn't about me.
It's about the baby.
I'm tired of leaving you messages.
Obviously, you don't care about this pregnancy, and that's fine.
I was really upset about it before, but I can see now that
if you can't be bothered to call back, well, we're better off without you.
I'm okay with that.
I feel good about it.
Goodbye, Miles.
Ahh!
[sighs]
Buying a home theater system is a huge deal,
but I'm here for you every step of the way.
-Paige loves me. -Got to go.
Love? Dude, this is huge. I love love.
You tell anyone, I'll kill you. So, what'd you say?
-I didn't know what to say. -Well, do you love her?
I need to figure it out by Thursday when I meet her parents at Olive Garden.
Totally. You cannot meet her parents unless you know it's for real.
'Cause what if you like them?
Next thing you know,
you and her dad will be going to baseball games,
and he's calling you "Z,"
which is nice 'cause your dad wasn't around that much.
And then you and Tamra break up,
and Steve won't return your calls.
And then it's like you got dumped twice, and that really stings.
I'm pretty sure that Paige's dad is named Mario.
I remember 'cause "Super Mario."
The point is, you can't dive into all this unless you know you love her back.
But... [sighs]
what about taking the D-Train to Bone Town?
I have condoms. I've seen boobs. I'm ready.
I'm sorry.
That train has passed your stop, bro.
You're headed straight for Love Land.
You can still visit Bone Town for sure, nice day trip, little vacay,
pop in, buy a trinket, but not until you get this love business squared away.
But... [sighs]
how do I know if I'm in love?
You just know, man.
You just know.
Paige told Sam that she loves him.
-She did? -Yeah.
-Whoa. That's huge. -I know.
They've only been dating for like two seconds. Less time than us.
[chuckles]
Yeah. Okay, then. Yeah.
Yeah.
[door opens]
-Whoa! Mom! -Hey, you two.
-Can you knock? -Uh, not on a closed door, I can't.
You know the rule... boy's inside, nothing to hide. I just made that up.
-That's great. -[Elsa laughs]
Thank you. There's snacks downstairs... baby carrots
and something I thought was hummus, but tastes like vegetables.
Oh, you know, actually, I should... I should probably get going.
But it was really good to see you, Mrs. Gardner. And, um...
-Okay. -[clears throat]
All right.
Bye.
Take a carrot for the road.
[chuckles] Okay, I will.
-Okay. Yeah. -Okay.
-So... -Ugh.
Okay.
That looked hot and heavy.
Oh, God.
I'm saying that we've never really had the "talk."
Mm-hmm.
-Yeah. -I'm here if you want to launch right in.
-I'm good. -Or...
I could get a book, something with diagrams,
like penis drawings and...
Oh, I'm, you know--
Well, if you need me,
I'm here.
Mom?
I don't want to make, like, a big thing out of it...
but we're not having sex.
I'm not ready, so...
So, yeah, you can go.
Okay.
[door closes]
[exhales]
I just want to say one thing.
I'm really glad you shared that with me.
Because I always wanted a girl,
and I always imagined we'd share girl stuff.
And you never have with me,
but I feel like we're getting closer now.
Okay.
[door opens]
And I hope that when you are ready for... [whispers] sex
that you will talk to me about it then, too,
because it's a big decision...
Okay.
...and it's a big moment in your life and you need to be thoughtful about it.
-Okay. -Okay. Goodbye.
I love you.
[sighs]
[Sam] Learning the rules for something is important,
but sometimes it feels like,
as soon as you learn the rules,
they change.
Hey, honey, I have a free day tomorrow.
Can I pick you up from school, and we can go and get ice cream
at Friendly's like we used to?
Nope. I have thinking to do, so being alone is ideal.
"If you can read this, you suck."
Thank you.
[sighs]
[cheering]
Hey.
Oh, hey.
Oh, God, I'm so glad you're here.
Not in public.
Oh. Sorry.
What is all this?
It's, uh, an impromptu memorial.
I still can't believe it.
Meatball died.
-Meatball is... -You met Meatball. He worked here.
Right.
So, Meatball was, um...
Big guy, goatee.
-Oh, right. -Yeah.
Meatball. Yeah.
I never spoke with him, but he had a kind face.
-Yeah, he did. -Yeah.
I'm gonna let you go so you can be with...
Actually, you know, it really cheers me up, you being here...
if you don't mind staying.
Oh, yeah, right.
No. Sure. Sure.
You're the best.
Well... [chuckles]
Oh, hey.
I'm so sorry.
Come on.
Oh, good. You're here.
Major crisis.
We have lots of smaller decorations,
and we've got snowflake garlands up the wazoo,
even though I told Beth to stop making them half an hour ago.
I can't stop. I'm a machine... a garland-making machine.
Okay, but we're in serious need of some bigger pieces.
It's a large space in there and it's just...
[Sam] Zahid said you just know when you're in love.
I just don't want...
-But how? -It would be such a bummer
if people were bored at this dance. We need something that
we could use as backdrops for photos or...
or hangout nooks.
Nooks are very important.
I can help with that.
You can?
-You want me to build you an igloo? -Paige has been talking about it a lot,
and if I tell her you're building one, I think that she'll stop.
Plus, I know you know how because you built me one when I was nine.
-I always thought you hated that igloo. -No.
The blocks weren't lined up properly, but it was pretty good.
And I bet you could do better now.
Oh, Sam, I'm gonna, uh...
I'm gonna build you the best damn igloo you've ever seen.
The only other one I've seen is the one you made me, so I hope so.
[chuckles]
All right, well...
you need anything else?
Yeah.
What is it?
Paige says that she loves me, but I don't know if I love her.
And Zahid says you just know, but I don't just know.
And there's so much new stuff in my life, and I don't like new stuff
unless it's exactly like the old stuff, but everything is new...
dancing, love, Olive Garden.
-Olive Garden? -They have unlimited breadsticks,
but what does that mean?
There has to be some kind of limit.
All right, just relax, Sam, okay?
We're gonna... We're gonna figure this stuff out, okay?
Okay.
♪ I lost my poor meatball ♪
-♪ When somebody sneezed ♪ -Hey.
Meet me in the supply closet.
What?
I figured out a way to make you feel better.
Elsa, not right now.
I just...
That's not what I need.
But that's what we do for each other. That's how we help each other.
That's not all we do for each other.
I want you around, you know, for support.
I'm sad today.
And I need my girl with me.
You know when you feel lost and you need your people around?
[man] Yo, Nick!
I need to go say hi to Meatball's brother.
You want to meet him?
Yeah, sure. Just give me a second, okay?
Sounds good.
Hey.
I had some free time.
I thought I'd see what you were doing.
Here are some questions that I have.
What exactly is a never-ending pasta bowl? It must end somewhere.
Can I have noodles with butter? And if not, why?
May I inspect your menus for stickiness? And, again, if not, why?
[inhales] Uh...
Sometimes before I go to a new place,
my family takes me there ahead of time to see what it's like.
My Dad calls it "casing the joint,"
which is dumb, but it is helpful to know what to expect.
-Hey. -Hey.
It's been a while since we've cased a joint.
-[chuckles] It has. -You got here fast.
-Where were you coming from? -Um, a memorial.
Yeah. Luisa... you know, my friend from group. Her cousin died.
Oh. Oh, well, tell her I'm sorry.
I will. It's sad.
Additionally, how many patrons do you serve a night?
And especially I'm interested in how many excessively loud ones.
Let's get a table before this poor girl runs away screaming.
That's a good idea.
Pretty good pasta.
Excuse me.
I appreciate the moderately dressed salad.
A lot of places overdo that.
Okay, I approve of the environment and the buttered noodles.
All I have to do is figure out if I love Paige.
Love?
You okay?
Love is a big emotion.
It can take a long time to develop, or it can happen like that.
How did you know you loved Dad? And please be specific.
Yeah, Mom, how did you know you loved Dad?
Um, well, that's a good question.
Um, I guess because, um...
when I'd wake up, your dad was the first person I thought of.
Oh. That's nice.
-I didn't know that. -Be quiet.
Both of you be quiet.
I need to write this down.
Okay, Dad, how did you know you loved Mom?
Man. Oh...
Mom...
just makes me a better person.
And so, you know, that's a big deal.
You do.
Okay.
Anything else about love?
Yeah. You always have your go-to person.
Yep.
When anything happens, good or bad,
you have the person you want to bring it to.
Very important.
When I got my first job at the salon, I couldn't wait to tell your dad.
I remember. That was a big deal.
-You know another thing? -Rules work better in threes.
-Please don't say anything else. -All right.
Well, if you're happy, I'm happy.
Me too. I'm happy.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
[Atmosphere's "The Best Day" playing]
[exhales]
♪ I had a rough day But that's life, it happens ♪
♪ Woke up on the dark side Of my mattress ♪
Guess what. You were the first thing I thought about this morning.
That's so sweet.
You're the first thing I think about in the morning.
Except for yesterday,
when I woke up to my dog licking my face, and then my first thought was "Aww."
♪ That's why we try to make love And get paid ♪
♪ Take the bad with the good Now let's play ♪
I'm just so stressed about this dance.
I have a million things to do. My mind's going a mile a minute.
[sighs] My mom says I'm about ready to pop.
When I'm stressed out, I like to recite the four subspecies of Antarctic penguins.
Adélie, chinstrap, emperor, gentoo.
Okay. Adélie, chinstrap, emperor, gentoo.
Okay. That works a little bit.
Oh, now pay up, mister.
Card.
Last one of the day.
Those went really fast.
I don't like this policy.
I should be able to talk about Antarctica whenever I like.
People need to know about it.
I think it's working because the less you talk about Antarctica,
the more we can talk about our relationship.
And plus, it makes you less annoying. Not to me.
I find you adorable.
But... [sighs]
-to other people. -[school bell rings]
Would you say it's making me a better person?
Definitely.
Are you doing that to relieve stress?
Because I do that, too.
Knocking repeatedly on doors works, as well.
I do four counts, but you can do any number you want.
No. I took advantage of the Techtropolis holiday sale and got a Fitbit.
Heart health. Know what I mean?
You should get one so we can take walks to clear our heads.
I don't like exercising. I'll let Paige know about the discount.
She's in the market for an electronic pencil sharpener for home use, and...
That's the third thing.
Zahid, I think I love Paige.
Are you serious?
Man-hug time.
Get over here, you little polar bear.
Tight, right? You like pressure.
Hi. I bought a new TV. Is this where I pick it up?
Julia?
Sam?
Wow. I forgot you work at this Techtropolis.
I really wish I would have remembered.
Julia? As in Julia, Julia?
-[Julia chuckles] -Aw, shit.
I didn't think I would see anyone I knew today,
or else I wouldn't have left the house like this.
You know what? I'll come back.
Why? I can help you.
Oh, no, that's okay.
-What kind? -What?
Of TV did you buy?
Oh, um...
Sony, I think?
Okay, well, you wait here.
I'll check on it, and then help you take it to your car.
I didn't used to do that because the old carts were stiff and hard to push,
but the new ones are smooth and fast,
and I like to pretend I'm in a video game. Be right back.
So, Julia.
-Hi. -Nice cape.
It's a blanket, actually.
Oh.
Yes. Great.
Thank you so much. Okay. Thank you, ma'am.
[screaming]
-What are you screaming about? -I got in!
-Are you serious? -Yeah. That was Coach Pines on the phone.
She says that they want to give me a chance.
They want to give me a scholarship. I'm going to Clayton Prep!
Oh, my God! Get over here!
That's so good.
I'm so proud of you. We got to call Mom and tell her the good news.
We should go to Don's Pizza like we used to when you won races.
-You want to go? -Mnh.
What? What, you want to go tell your boyfriend?
Yeah, kind of. [giggles]
You want a ride?
No, no. I'm too excited.
I can't sit still. I'm gonna take my bike, okay?
-Yeah. -Thank you so much, Dad.
-I love you so much. -I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
[squeals] Yes!
You're all set with your new set.
Thanks.
It's great to see you, Sam.
It made my day.
There are a lot of times when seeing you has made my day,
so I guess this is me paying you back.
Yeah, I guess so.
Actually, I'm really looking forward to our next session.
I have so many new things to tell you about, about Paige and the dance.
The dance. Right.
Are you nervous about dancing or anything?
Oh, no, I can dance.
My sister took a hip-hop lesson when she was nine,
and my mom would make me sit in the lobby.
And even though I tried to read my book,
I accidentally memorized all the moves.
♪ They call me Big L'y ♪
♪ Big Silly ♪
♪ Big Money ♪
♪ Big Billy ♪
♪ When I'm sliding in them all, Can ya hear me? ♪
♪ I be sexing with these bars So ya feel me ♪
♪ Let me grip it up For cuz in the back ♪
♪ Let me grip it Get a buzz in ya hat ♪
♪ I'm a-tell ya how to cause an attack ♪
-That's really good. -I know. I know.
I just hope that Paige doesn't want to slow dance,
because I'm not prepared for that, so I'll just sit for those songs or stand.
No. Slow dancing's the easy part.
Not for me.
When I was doing social-skills sessions in elementary school,
we used a Hula-Hoop to learn about boundaries
and how people don't like it when you stand too close.
But I can't slow-dance with a Hula-Hoop,
so I-I don't know how I'm supposed to know how close to stand.
Okay. Try this.
Think of personal space on a scale of one to three.
Three would be with your arms out,
fully extended, like how you would dance with your sister.
And then you would put your hands on my shoulders as well.
Oh, okay.
Then you just kind of sway back and forth.
And we're dancing.
I like three a lot.
Yeah. See?
And I dropped a box of appliances on my foot,
so it can't be that hard.
Now, Paige is your girlfriend,
so you might want to move to two.
How do I do that?
Well, okay, put your arms down.
Now bend them to a 120-degree angle.
Yeah.
And then you just kind of scooch in.
♪ Oh, a trance is a spell ♪
♪ With a thrill wrapped up inside it ♪
♪ And try as you might To fight it, love... ♪
[car horn honks, tires squeal]
Uh, yeah.
And, well, one would practically be hugging,
so there you have it.
I really have to go, Sam.
Thanks again for your help with the television.
[Sam] It turns out Zahid was right about love.
Sometimes you just know.
Hey. I just came through the back. The door's open.
-That's fine. -Cool to park there?
-Yeah, it's fine. -How you doing?
I'm good.
Sorry I just left yesterday.
I had to.
It's cool. I get it.
And, um, I'm sorry about Meatball.
He sounds lovely. I mean, he must have been if you cared about him so much.
Well, I'm just glad you were there...
even for a little while.
Nick, we have to end this.
What?
Why?
Because you're not just a distraction
or a-a hobby, like bowling.
You're a good person, and you deserve to have someone in your life,
really in your life,
someone that cares about you and can be with you,
and that's not me.
It can't be.
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
Take care of yourself, okay?
Take care of myself?
What the...
Hey, Elsa, what are you doing? What happened?
What, did things get too real for you?
You're being so selfish. You know that?
Oh, good, good. I'm being selfish.
Great. For once, something gets to be about me.
Look, I'm sorry.
I liked you.
It was fun.
I didn't think you'd get hurt. I wouldn't have done this.
Why don't you go camping, go to the mountains?
I would if I could. [chuckles]
I'm gonna miss you.
♪ Off with your head ♪
♪ Dance till you're dead ♪
♪ Heads will roll ♪
♪ Heads will roll on the floor ♪
-Hey. -Your sister let me in.
You okay?
♪ Glitter on the wet streets ♪
♪ Silver over everything ♪
♪ The river's all wet ♪
What's going on?
Are you getting in?
[stammers] I don't know, um...
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Aren't you?
Yeah, yeah. I just, um...
Wait. I just don't want things to get weird, you know, after.
Yeah, me neither.
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Off with your head ♪
♪ Dance, dance, dance till you're dead ♪
[Evan sighs] Wow.
That was really, uh...
really...
[laughing]
Wasn't it?
Hey, Casey...
I love you.
Casey?
[instrumental music playing]