[folk pop music playing]
♪ Tell me who I'm not... ♪
Whoa.
Yeah.
So...
I don't know.
Hungry?
Actually, I really am.
[laughing]
You had me so confused.
-Me? -Yeah.
After Slurpee night,
you were like, "It's good to have friends.
We're friends. Friends. Friends. Friends."
What was I supposed to say?
I don't know, the truth?
When I told you the truth, you ran away.
True.
I'm sorry.
You came around.
No way. Casey.
Beth, hi. What's up?
Who would've thought that when I went out to get Dewey's dewormer,
I'd run into my favorite favorite?
Um, Beth, this is Izzie.
Izzie, this is Beth, Evan's sister.
Hey, hey.
-Hey, Beth. -Wow.
You have pretty... everything. [laughs]
Thanks. You too.
Shoot, I gotta run into the store before it closes.
Dewey's been scooting his behind all over the carpet.
[laughs] I call him my scooch pooch. Will you be here when I get back?
No, I don't think so. I think we gotta--
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Okay.
Disappointed.
-Bye, you two pretty butterflies. -Bye.
[Doug] You're kidding me, right?
What are you doing?
Actually, don't even answer that. I know exactly what you're doing.
You're sneaking out to see your boyfriend in the middle of the night.
Yes, but it's not what you think.
I don't need the details. You're 16 years old.
There's no way you're leaving this house at 2:00 in the morning
to go to a boy's house.
And you're grounded for even trying.
Okay.
Okay?
Yeah, I deserve it.
Why are you awake?
It's so loud in the sunroom.
Trucks go by, keeps me up for hours.
Sucks that Mom's the one that cheated, but you have to sleep on an air mattress.
Ah, it was my choice.
Dad...
How do you wish you would've found out about...
you know?
What, are you still feeling bad?
No, I just...
How do you wish she would have told you?
No, I'm not talking to you about this.
-Dad, please. -Why?
Why do you even wanna know?
I just need to.
I don't know, I...
wish that...
you know, she had maybe told me herself.
Or...
What?
If it was like a one-time thing, and it was really over.
Maybe I wish I didn't even know at all.
Go upstairs, okay, and go to sleep, and you're still grounded,
and I'm gonna ground you even more if you keep being nosy.
Hey, Case.
Yeah.
You okay?
Yeah.
-[theme music playing] -Good night.
So happy to have you onboard, Sam.
But feel free to take it easy, it's your first day,
and I'll be with you every step of the way.
Hey, please, sir,
don't climb the shelves.
[exaggerated rattling]
[chattering]
Hey, man, where's the chargers?
What?
The chargers.
Uh...
I-I don't know.
Don't you work here?
Hello. Hello.
-Hey, I'm talking to you. -[chattering grows louder]
Sweet duds, my dude.
Love Hawaii.
Baby sea turtles, am I right?
Honu. That's what they call 'em.
Unlike most other places in the world,
there are only two seasons in Antarctica:
summer and winter.
As you can imagine, the first day of summer is always cause for celebration.
Are you a mai tai guy? You look like a mai tai guy.
-I like a mai tai. -[snaps fingers] I knew it.
Looking for chargers, surf on over to aisle three,
but before you do...
10% off just for being the most stylish mofo in the joint.
Those palm trees really bring out your eyes.
Not even have a mahalo. Rude.
I'm Zahid, Zahid Raja.
I'm Sam, Samuel Gardner.
Bob tells me you're Australian.
-Autistic. -Good. I hate Australians.
I knew where the chargers were.
I already memorized the layout of this whole stupid store.
Yeah, don't sweat it. That guy is a fashion nightmare.
Only one man can pull off a shirt like that:
Tom Raja, that's my uncle.
Did you really memorize the layout to the whole store?
Yes. It was easy.
-Hmm. Toasters. -Aisle four.
Blu-rays.
Aisle six.
Video games, laptops, candy.
Aisle 11,
back wall and right by the register.
Oh.
I have no idea if those are actually correct,
but I get the sense that you,
how do I say this,
complete me.
He's what's gonna happen, Samuel Gardner.
Bob thinks I'm gonna train you how to work here,
but Bob is wrong.
I'm going to train you in life.
And also how to work here?
Yeah. But to be honest, I'm not a great employee.
But I have a feeling that you might be.
Thank you.
Because there are only two seasons, though.
the transition from one to the other can feel brutally fast.
One moment things are warm and light and bright...
and the next...
Zahid...
how long are we gonna be un-homied?
It would help me to know what to expect.
Forever. We will never be homies again.
[Sam] ...it's utter darkness and complete cold.
Still fighting, huh?
Oh, man.
This is...
-I am not in a good place for this. -[Casey] It'll blow over.
Friends get in fights, it happens.
[spits] No, he was very clear,
it will never blow over.
And I'm fine with that.
All he ever did was give me great advice when I needed it.
I can find someone else to do that.
-Me! -Jesus!
-[spits] Hi, Paige. -What are you doing in my bathroom?
Oh, I'm bringing Sam to school so we can spend some more time together.
But, Sam, I'll be your advice-giver.
Most of the advice I need is about our relationship.
I can't ask you for advice about you.
Well, sure you can. I can be impartial. Try me.
-Bye-bye. -Okay.
I don't want you to drive me to school anymore.
Ooh, juicy.
What? Why not?
You get mad.
Out of the way, you human slug!
You ever heard of a blinker, or did you hide it in your fat ass?
Get out of the car. No, really, get out of the car, I can take you.
Fifteen years of tae kwon do, bitch!
Whoever taught you a form of combat was not thinking ahead.
And besides being scary and loud,
you also break many, many traffic laws.
Oh, pish-posh, I'm spirited, Sam. I always have been.
Besides, everyone's completely safe at all times.
You clipped a seagull with your side mirror.
Perfectly legal.
I don't think so.
Sam, I think the advice is pretty clear here: just never get in a car with--
Anyone else.
Sam, this is the only time that we have to spend together,
given that you're pursuing your future and dreams,
and I'm dressing in a brown unitard with a potato on top,
so I really think I should keep driving you.
[sighs] Yep, I'm on my side on this one.
I need a new Zahid.
I mean, I'm dropping gems here.
I'll make a list of candidates.
Well...
[cell phone vibrates]
Crazy kids.
[Doug sighs]
Going to work?
Yeah.
So about what I said the other night...
the separation.
Yeah, I-- I'm not...
[clears throat] I can't yet.
Okay, well, when you're ready,
there's a lot for us to figure out.
There's a lot of steps we need to take
and just stuff we need to hash out.
Okay, what, are you trying to boil this down to jobs you need to get done,
like check "end marriage" off your to-do list?
Come on, that's not what I meant.
'Cause I'm not there yet.
I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened.
And I was thinking the other day
about when we first got together, how your mom hated me.
She was awful.
And you had my back.
And you were there.
So I'm trying to figure out how we got from there to here.
You know, so you can make your list and pack all your boxes,
and I'm gonna try to figure that out, okay?
[Sam] I need some advice...
about Paige.
[chuckles] Let her drive as fast as she wants.
As long as it's not away from you.
How often does she floss?
The bacteria could be affecting her judgment.
While we're at it, how often do you floss, Sam?
I think you could do better.
I don't have any advice, but check it.
Also, dude, when there's a sock on the door, it means don't come in.
Oh. Hi.
This is good. I'm gonna frame it and bring it by your dorm.
Don't bother. I'm never there.
I'm gonna do it anyway.
One way to make sodium sulfate
is through the reaction of sulfuric acid and...
Bob, I want to make sure to avoid Zahid during my shift today
since we're officially un-homied.
Can you let me know where he'll be primarily stationed?
Oh. Uh...
He switched his shift so you two don't overlap.
I'm sorry, buddy.
Sometimes when people hurt us,
it's just their way of expressing their own pain.
-Hey. -Hi.
Look, I know you're grounded, so it's against the law for me to be here.
But after the other day at Don's, I just wanted to swing by and check on you,
see if you're feeling
a little less cuckoo.
[sighs]
Oh, and I brought you some breadsticks.
I ate one in the car so I know they're good.
-Thank you. -Mm-hmm.
You wanna come in?
You were wrong. It's not blowing over.
Hey, Sam.
He changed all of his shifts so we're never working together.
And I don't care, it doesn't bother me.
Yeah, you seem good.
I can't believe he did that.
Doesn't even matter 'cause Paige drives so fast, I'll be dead soon anyway.
What?
So no luck finding a new Zahid? I thought that was a hilarious quest.
No, everyone was terrible.
And I need help. I have no idea how to deal with Paige's driving.
-Road Rage Paige, we call her. -We do?
Now we do, I coined it.
So what do I do?
I think sometimes when people act nuts,
like if they get all grumpy at Don's Pizza for no reason at all,
there might be something else going on underneath.
So maybe just ask her if everything's okay with her.
Worst-case scenario, just learn to drive yourself,
19-year-old man.
That is not bad. Thank you, Evan.
You're welcome.
That was nice.
I'm a nice guy.
Tell a friend.
I'm sorry about the other day.
Yeah, what was that?
Um...
God, I'm just so stressed about track.
'Cause my times are down and...
[laughs] I think it's all these power bars I'm eating.
[bell jangles]
Hi, there.
Oh. Hello again.
I need to talk to you.
Okay.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
About the future and also about the past.
Do you remember my 27th birthday?
Not specifically, but I'm sure it was nice.
It wasn't. It was not nice.
It was at a Mexican place, and I didn't wanna invite you,
but Doug said I should because he's a good person.
And you came, drunk...
and you were mean, you mimicked him.
The waiter was there, even he was embarrassed.
I don't remember.
I know.
[Elsa sighs]
I'm sorry for that.
Thank you.
I know I was not an easy kid. I...
I was rigid and particular and very specific.
But Doug...
that marriage was a good choice.
The right choice.
You should have supported me.
I don't know what...
I don't know what I wanted from you.
Elsa...
you were a unique kid,
but I didn't help you.
Your kids are luckier.
Bye, Mom.
What are you doing here?
Can we talk?
-Did he send you? -No.
Did she send you?
Elsa? Surprisingly, no.
Too bad. I like to think she's thinking of me.
Look...
Sam is going through a really hard time right now,
and in a moment of weakness, I promised to be his emotional support human.
I get it, you're doing your job.
It's not like Edison could hop in the car and drive over here.
No, he cannot.
And he wanted to. I had to pry my keys from his tiny, little hands.
[laughs]
I hate to say this, Casey, but you wasted your time.
Sam and I are over with for good.
And I don't miss him. I don't miss him one little bit.
[Casey chuckles]
Look, I don't know everything that happened between you guys,
but is it really worth ending a friendship over?
I mean, you don't just end a relationship over nothing.
I've thought about this a lot.
Sam was my number one, homie.
He was my protégé. He made me proud.
And he kept me on my toes with his logical and irritating questions.
-He does that. -Yeah, but... [sighs]
he hates my girl.
There are just some things that are too big to look past.
[Casey exhales]
[Doug scoffs]
Okay, you mad at me? Feels like you're mad at me.
-But I always think people are mad at me. -What? No.
No.
Elsa wants to separate.
I'm sorry.
It's bullshit.
She's the one who cheated, but I'm the bad guy?
Sucks.
Yeah, it does.
What? Just say it.
Not my place.
-Just say it. -Look.
The way I think about it, marriage is a choice
you make every morning when you wake up.
You still making that choice?
-[tires screech] -Hey, professor!
Why don't you use your PhD to learn how to walk?
[shouts] I hate your face!
[honks horn]
[exhales] All righty. Here we are, love bug.
Paige, Evan said to ask you this
and it sounded like a good idea, so...
is everything okay with you?
Oh.
Um...
[sighs] Well, to be honest, Sam, no.
I feel low.
Lower than low.
I mean, not only have my career and life prospects
taken a massive nosedive, but...
[sighs] I'm a little worried about us.
Us?
Yes. I mean, we're in completely different places.
You're here at college and...
I'm at a restaurant with a ball pit and a life-sized singing strip of bacon.
I remember him. Terrifying.
Yeah.
Also, I've just never felt less attractive.
I mean, I'm tired, and my hair is flat and...
[sighs] I smell like fried potatoes.
What? No way.
You're as beautiful as you always were.
You think I'm beautiful?
You're one of the most beautiful girls I know.
And I don't know why you're worried about us.
I told you that I loved you on graduation night,
and I still love you,
and I'm going to love you in the future no matter what you smell like.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess we both have just been so...
focused on the difficult things that have been going on that...
it's been hard for us to connect lately.
So...
I should have asked you how you were doing a long time ago?
Well, yes, but I'm really glad that you asked now.
Hey, Sam.
Is there anywhere on this campus that we could be alone?
[Sam] Things can get a little nutty in the dark.
And in Antarctica with six months of winter and darkness in a row...
Good for you, dude.
...well, some very unexpected things can happen.
Hold on.
I've been carrying this around for a few years now...
waiting to light it, my first intimate moment.
Intimate?
I think candles are against dorm rules.
Well...
Should we break the rules?
For sex?
The most exciting day of the year in Antarctica is the day the sun sets.
There are parties and games and fun.
[laughs]
And then just like that...
it's dark.
I have to tell you something.
Hey.
It's okay.
What's up?
-[crying] -It's okay.
All right.
Lucky for you, I'm very good at mysteries.
So...
[laughs] we'll get to the bottom of it.
-Is it Sam? -No.
Your parents?
[laughs] Is it us?
Did-- did I do something?
Mm-mmm.
Did-- did you do something?
[sighing]
I kissed someone.
What?
I think that I might have...
feelings.
[stammers] Who?
Does it matter?
Who?
[sobs]
Izzie.
Oh.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shit.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, shit.
Do-- do you love her?
I don't know.
I don't...
I don't know.
'Cause I can't...
We can't be...
I just don't wanna not be together.
I don't know what to do.
-Well, figure it out, Casey. -[crying]
Hey, don't offer to help, young, strong teenager.
Case?
-Oh, honey. -[sobbing]
[sighs]
Evan, I have great news.
I used your advice and guess what.
Sam, now is not a good time.
I had sex.
That's great.
Congratulations.
Thank you. And I've decided who my new Zahid is. It's you.
It's perfect.
You're here all the time, and I live here,
so we'll have plenty of opportunities for advice.
But we should work out some kind of schedule.
What days were you planning on hanging out with Casey this week?
Dude, stop.
I can't be your new Zahid.
Why not?
She broke up with Evan? Where is she?
Sam, stop.
No!
Casey broke up with Evan right when I discovered that he's the perfect Zahid.
Why would she do that?
No! No go.
You may not go up and yell at your sister. She's very fragile.
Casey's not fragile.
Well, right now she is. She's heartbroken.
She is?
Yes.
Oh.
What can I do?
Get the salmon patties out of the freezer.
Thin Mints?
You animals would eat them all in one sitting if I didn't hide them.
[knock on door]
You're upset about the breakup?
If it's making you so sad, then why did you do it?
I don't feel like I had a choice.
Sometimes there's no good answer.
Like, it was the right thing morally to turn Gretchen in, but...
it feels horrible to lose my friend.
Sam, I can't right now.
You gonna come in? You gonna sit outside like a creep all night?
What's going on?
Casey and I...
we broke up.
Oh.
[exhales]
I'm sorry.
She's...
[sighs] I just can't leave.
[sobs]
'Cause then it's real.
Yeah, I get it.
[pop music playing]
-Hey. -Hey.
Yeah, please.
Thank you.
Where's Casey?
She's upstairs.
Sam's with her.
Good.
Oh, man.
Listen, I...
I don't know how to do this.
I don't know how to do any of this.
[laughs] Yeah, no, me neither.
But I can talk about it now.
Okay. Good.
I think that we should take things slow
and hold off on telling the kids.
I think it's a good idea.
And...
I know this wasn't all your fault.
Thank you.
[pop music continues playing]
♪ People say things change Yeah, but I know better... ♪
Why do you seem down?
Something happen with Paige?
No, we had sex, actually.
Ew, gross.
So then why are you sad?
Because I can't tell Zahid.
[Casey sighs]
♪ Last night through the haze ♪
♪ I felt like I was floating ♪
♪ And it gave me such an insight ♪
♪ That I thought I was ♪
♪ Your holy ghost ♪
[vocalizes]
♪ People say things change ♪
♪ Yeah, but I know better ♪
♪ Unless you feel the pain ♪