So, you just heat it up at 300 and leave it in for 35 minutes.
Thanks, Karen. But you really don't have to keep--
It's my take on Mexican lasagna.
Great.
It's nothing. We just don't want you to think you're alone.
-Mmm. -Jeff and I are here for you,
if you ever wanna talk.
Thanks.
Just can't imagine what you're going through.
Well, it's like if Jeff got hit by a car and died suddenly and violently.
Like that.
[gulps]
Right. [clears throat]
Well, you get that dish back to me whenever you can--
Yup. Gonna get right on it.
["Get Happy" playing]
♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪
♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪
♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪
♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪
♪ The sun is shining Come on, get happy ♪
♪ The Lord is waiting to take your hand ♪
♪ Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy ♪
♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪
♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪
♪ Chase your cares away ♪
♪ Shout... ♪
[birds chirping]
[indistinct conversations]
[sighs]
[gagging]
Oh.
Fuck.
God.
[sighs]
I'd skip the coffee. It's terrible.
I made it.
Hmm? Oh.
I'm sorry.
-No. I'm just kidding. -Hmm?
-I'm just kidding. -Oh. [laughs sarcastically]
I'm Judy.
-Hi. Jen. -Hi.
Hi.
You come to this group often?
Uh... No. This is my first time here.
-Me, too. -Oh.
Sorry. I hope this isn't weird.
Do you do real estate?
I feel like I've seen your face on, like, a... a bus bench?
You and a cute gay guy?
-Yeah. -What?
Yeah, that's me. [chuckles]
With Christopher, who does not think he looks gay in that picture.
I didn't mean that in a bad way. I think gay is beautiful.
Which bench did you see?
Oh, I think it's the one where you're like...
Oh, no.
No? And he's like...
No, no, no. I guess I just mean where do you live?
[laughing] Oh, my gosh.
Sorry. Newport Beach.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
-You live-- You live in Newport? -Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. I don't think I belong there either.
-Not a bad thing to not belong there. -Right.
But if you ever need a real estate agent, just...
-Oh, wow. Thank you. -Uh-huh.
-I might. -Okay.
Sorry.
I hope this isn't weird.
Can I give you a hug?
No.
Okay.
Well, looks like we have some new people here today.
Hi. I'm Judy.
-[group leader] Hi, Judy. -Hey, Judy.
-Uh-uh. That's okay. -All right.
Well, welcome to Friends of Heaven. I'm Pastor Wayne.
As some of you know, I like to start out our grief circle
by talking about a loss I lived through that got me into this work.
My aunt fell down a flight of stairs and cracked her head open and bled out
as her five-year-old son watched,
and I was the one that asked her to get me a soda from the basement.
So, I live with that.
And that's a little something about me.
Oh, my God.
[Wayne] I appreciate that.
Is there a loss you've had that you'd like to share with us today?
[Judy] Uh...
Yeah. I lost my fiancé eight weeks ago.
Um...
It was really sudden.
One minute, we were eating dinner and then the next, he was gone.
[nurse] I'm so sorry.
[sniffles] Thank you.
-Heart attack? -Yeah. He was 44.
Oh, that sucks. Sorry.
Thank you.
[Wayne] Thank you for sharing that.
So, last week, we started talking about...
the F-word.
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness can be very difficult, and it can take time, even a lifetime.
But no matter what the circumstances, everyone is deserving of forgiveness.
You really think that?
Jesus thought that.
[woman] Amen.
Um, excuse me. Um...
How do you forgive someone who hits your husband with their car,
and then drives away, leaving him to bleed to death on the side of the road?
How do you forgive that?
No, that's it.
Don't really wanna get into it, so someone else can go.
-[inhales sharply] -[Wayne] At your own pace.
It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, sad, angry, defensive--
I'm not defensive. Okay?
I'm tired.
I'm tired, too.
Can you tell us more about that?
Oh, yeah. I just haven't been sleeping.
You know, I've never been a very good sleeper, anyway, but...
since Ted died, not at all.
I mean, not naturally, anyway, but...
[clears throat]
And I'm not gonna take pills.
I was not a pill person and I have two kids, two boys, who...
who need me, and so, I'm not gonna be one of those, like,
Xanax Ambien zombie moms, you know.
Hey. Hey!
Oh, hey.
Uh...
I'm up all night.
Feel free to call me. We can... not sleep together.
[Jen] It's supposed to be Mexican lasagna.
Why are there raisins in this?
-I honestly don't know. -I like it.
-[sighs] I'm sick of other people's food. -Me, too.
I miss Dad's cooking.
Me, too.
It's just so not fair.
Like, why did our dad have to die? Why didn't...
Tyler's dad die? Rick. That guy's a twatwaffle.
I like Rick.
-You have to wait till I'm asleep. -Mm-hmm.
All the way asleep.
I know, Boop.
-Mommy? -Yup?
-I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. -No kidding.
I wanna go to work with you.
Oh, sweetie, I know, but we just can't do that anymore, okay?
I mean, it's been three months, and...
I think it's just time for us to go back to normal.
-But I wanna be with you. -I know.
I know, baby.
You know, what happened to your dad was an accident.
-As far as we know. -Charlie, please.
What happened to your dad was a freak accident.
And nothing like that is gonna happen to me, okay?
I promise you.
No, it's not that.
I'm not worried something's gonna happen to you.
No?
Well, then what are you worried about?
I just don't want you to be alone.
[sighs]
[sobbing inconsolably]
[gasps for air]
[wailing]
[panting]
Okay.
[ringing tone]
-[TV playing in background] -[cell phone vibrates]
Hello?
[Jen] Uh... Judy?
Yeah?
It's... It's Jen from...
from the grief group thing.
Hi.
I'm sorry. I don't-- I don't even know why I'm calling you.
No, no. God, come on. I told you you could.
-Is it too late? -No.
-Are you in bed? -Uh, yeah.
-What are you wearing? -Huh?
What are you wearing?
Um...
A pair of my husband's sweatpants
and a T-shirt he got for running a 5K for...
psoriasis.
Mm.
Slower.
You're a weird person, Judy.
[chuckles]
Thank you.
Did your husband really like running? Or did he just hate psoriasis?
I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to.
Uh, no, no. He... He liked running.
Came to it later in life. He was 40.
-What made him start? -He was gettin' doughy.
-Oh, yeah. -Mm-hmm.
Men get that middle-aged man puff.
Yeah. I mean, he had a full-on beer belly.
He was getting a beer neck.
Beer neck?
So, he started running.
I was proud of him.
He was in the best shape of his life, when...
when the car hit him.
[muffled] I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
[chewing noises]
Are you... Are you eating something?
Mm-hmm.
It's an Entenmann's chocolate chip cookie. You know, the little one?
Why, yes, I do.
Oh, he was...
He was always a really good musician, even then.
He was the only guy I knew who liked Ani DiFranco.
Oh, I love Ani.
Well, I haven't talked about him much since he died.
-Well, we can stop. I don't wanna pry. -No. It's...
It's nice.
-Did you get it? -[phone chimes]
-Is that him? -No, that's my other husband.
Oh, you have another one? Then you're fine.
Yeah, but if something happens to him, then... [laughs]
[both laugh]
[yawns] Excuse me.
I heard that.
You should ride that wave and go to sleep.
No, I want a picture of Steve.
[sighs] I'd have to look.
Found some.
-[phone chimes repeatedly] -Jeez. Okay.
[chuckles]
Hold on.
Oh, my God.
-Is that your house? -Yeah.
Harbor Ridge?
-Yup. -It's a lovely home.
He was very handsome.
Thanks.
Yeah, I always thought he had kind of a JFK Jr. vibe.
God!
JFK Jr. was so hot.
-[Judy sighs] So hot. -And then just so sad.
So sad.
[yawning] So fucked up.
-You're tired. -Oh, yeah.
I think I am. You're not?
No. But... I'll let you go.
No, no, no. No.
Would you...
Would you mind waiting until I fall asleep?
Uh...
Okay.
I mean, like...
Like all the way asleep?
Sure, of course.
Thank you.
All right.
-Do you want me to keep talking? -No, 'cause then I can't fall asleep.
Oh. Okay. Right.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
["Don't Worry Baby" playing]
♪ Well, it's been building up Inside of me ♪
♪ For, oh, I don't know how long ♪
Okay?
♪ I don't know why, but I keep thinking Something's bound... ♪
Hey.
Oh, Judy.
♪ But she looks in my eyes ♪
♪ And makes me realize ♪
-♪ And she says, don't worry, baby ♪ -♪ Don't worry, baby ♪
-♪ Everything will turn out all right... ♪
[cooing]
[growling playfully]
♪ Don't worry, baby ♪
Psst!
♪ She told me Baby, when you race today ♪
♪ Just take along my love with you... ♪
[Jen] I mean, if I knew it was the end, I would start smoking immediately.
Oh, my God. Yes.
-Right? -Immediately.
Smoking is the greatest thing that slowly kills you.
It's the greatest.
-[girl on TV] I would. -Ooh!
-But I need something-- -Facts of Life is on.
What? What channel?
Three-ninety-one.
[laughter on TV]
Now, promise me you won't tell.
God, I used to love this show.
-Loved it. -You're just jealous because I...
[Jen] How did I not know this was on every night?
More importantly, why are the other girls 15 and Tootie is, like, nine?
[laughs]
I don't know.
Has anyone ever told you you're kind of a Blair?
What? Fuck you.
-Seriously, fuck you. -Why?
I'm a Jo.
How are you a Jo?
I'm sitting in your outdoor living room, watching TV next to your hot tub.
-Feeling a little Blair-y. -I'm a fucking Jo!
-Okay! -Why?
-Who are you? -I'm a Tootie.
[snickers]
It's layered.
-How are you a Jo? -'Cause I'm tough.
I'm from Brooklyn.
-You're from Brooklyn? -Mm-hmm.
How did I not know that? You don't sound like you're from Brooklyn.
Oh, I used to have an accent.
-What'd you sound like? -Like someone from Brooklyn.
Like what?
[Brooklyn accent] Like this.
[chortles]
-That is fantastic. -I hate you.
-You are a Jo. -Yeah.
-Such a Jo. -Yeah, man, I'm a piece of work.
According to my business partner, Christopher, my anger is an "issue."
Personally,
I think that your anger is understandable.
Well, you haven't been on the receiving end of it.
I mean... there are healthier ways of channeling it.
-Like meditation. -I meditate.
In my own way.
-[singing along to heavy metal] -♪ You fucking prick, drop dead ♪
♪ You make me sick ♪
♪ Get out of my head! ♪
♪ You're the light ♪
♪ I'm the ghost, you're the night ♪
♪ I'm the shadow, you're the light ♪
Do you do this a lot?
Oh...
No, just every time I see a person-sized dent in the front bumper of a car.
[Judy] Okay.
The cops say that hit-and-runs are almost impossible to solve, so...
But you feel like maybe you might find the person this way?
Nope.
But it makes you feel better?
Not really.
-[sighs] -I have an idea.
[Jen] What are you doing?
-It's legal. Relax. -Oh, right.
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm just not-- not really a drugs person.
It's not drugs. It's a plant.
And it will help you sleep.
[Judy] Mm-hmm.
Um... You totally smoke pot.
[both chuckling]
All right. I did with Ted, but it's... I mean, it's been years.
Well, I'm happy to reacquaint you.
Oh, yeah.
You immediately feel nice.
-[both giggling] -Yeah.
Can I say something weird?
Please.
Thank you.
For what?
I don't know. Just for coming into my life, I guess, like...
some weird little pot fairy.
And also just for not...
saying and doing the same stupid shit
that everybody says and does that just...
makes you feel more alone than you already are, you know?
And for not being repulsed by my version of grief.
Thank you.
-For the same. -Mm-hmm.
I know that it must be hard for you to be alone in that big house without Steve.
It is.
It's really hard.
I miss him.
I know.
I know you know.
-Light's out. -You probably shouldn't have anymore.
-I don't think so, 'cause I... -Yeah.
-...can't feel my tongue. -[laughs]
You're so fucking high!
Fuck.
[giggling] Why did you give that to me?
-I think I just peed! -[laughs]
[both giggling helplessly]
Wait, I have to check.
-Oh, my God. -No, I didn't.
Oh, my God.
[Judy] Oh, my God.
[both laugh]
[Judy groans]
[cell phone ringing]
Good evening.
[Jen] Good evening.
-Shall I come over? -Nope, because I'm coming to you.
What?
Come on. You've been coming to me this whole time.
You don't even know where I live.
Oh, yes, I do.
And I'm pulling up right now.
[car alarm chirps]
Judy!
[door opening]
[man] Can I help you?
You're Steve.
Yeah.
You're alive.
Yeah.
I'm sorry. It's 11:30 at night.
What's... What's happening? Do I know you?
No. I, uh...
-heard a lot... -[cell phone buzzing]
...about you.
Is Judy here?
Judy doesn't live here anymore.
-She doesn't? -No. We broke up two months ago.
Wow.
This is, uh...
Wow.
Hey, Jen. Um, I can explain. Please call me back.
I'm so sorry. Please. Please, please let me explain.
[Steve] Wait. How do you know Judy?
-I thought she was a friend. -Okay.
If you see her, can you tell her to stop coming around here while I'm at work?
I'm gonna change the locks.
I'm-- I'm sorry. I'm... I'm so sorry to bother you.
It's all right. I just gotta go. I'm running a bath.
Okay.
You know, um...
maybe it's better if she doesn't know where you live.
Seller's market.
Again, I'm... I'm so sorry.
What the fuck? Huh?
-Jen, please. -What?
-Please. I can explain. -Okay. Do.
-What is going on? -Why don't you tell them what's going on?
-No. I... -Guess Kate and Allie are having trouble.
-It's very complicated. -No. It's not complicated.
Her... fiancé is not dead, okay?
I mean, unless that was his ghost who answered the door last night,
because that... that would be fucking complicated.
But it's not complicated, Judy, because he's not fucking dead!
What the fuck? What, do you get off
pretending you're going through the same thing I am?
-No. Of course not. -No?
Is this a game you're playing with me, with everybody else?
Making up that whole fucking story?
You don't belong here because he's not fucking dead, Judy.
He broke up with you!
Probably 'cause you're a fucking lunatic who lies about him fucking being dead.
-[Wayne] Jen, please settle down. -Let her talk.
I don't wanna let her talk, Kyle!
Oh, now, see, this is getting real. Judy, you go ahead, honey.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, my God. That was so powerful. Right, guys? Right?
Jen, I'm so sorry.
You have no idea.
I... [sighs]
I'm sorry to all of you. I really am. I...
I don't know why. I wasn't trying to pull anything or to hurt anyone.
I never meant to hurt anyone. I swear to God.
I just...
[sighs]
It's true.
Steve... is alive.
-Yeah, not dead. Alive. -Yeah.
He didn't die two months ago. But I did lose him,
because he broke up with me.
-Oh, my God. That is not the same! -I know.
I know.
It's just, he broke up with me because I...
He broke up with me because we really wanted to have kids.
And we tried, and we tried for years, and...
I couldn't.
I just kept having miscarriages.
[nurse] I'm so sorry.
[sniffles] Thank you.
[sobs]
Let's get you to your room.
That was my fifth one.
I really thought that I was gonna have a baby and a family.
And then to find out that there's just something that's broken inside of me...
I think just going through all that,
it messed me up a little bit.
I swear, I'm not a bad person.
I'm really not. I... [sighs]
It doesn't matter.
I should have never come here.
Jen, I'm so sorry that I hurt you.
It's the last thing that I wanted to do.
I really cherish our friendship.
No, I really do.
[Jen murmurs]
Shit! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Jesus Christ.
That is a sad story.
Yeah, if you believe it.
What's wrong with you?
Me?
-What about her? -[woman] Yeah.
Find a different group, Judy.
Fuck, yeah, Linda. Thank you.
Jen, Judy's in pain, and I know that you are, too,
but that doesn't make it okay for you to attack someone like that.
[Kyle] Don't y'all hang out all the time?
How did you not know any of that?
I don't know.
Well, either way, Judy has every right to sit in this circle.
Yeah. I mean, in a way, her life is sadder than all of ours.
Oh, God. She lied, man.
[Wayne] Jen, everyone's grief manifests in different ways.
Judy lied. You flew into this terrifying rage.
We are all doing our best,
but you've got to start reconciling that anger inside of you.
Don't let it cause you more grief than you already have.
[heavy metal playing] ♪ Oh, God ♪
♪ You make me sick ♪
[music stops]
[sobbing inconsolably]
[sighs]
[laughter on TV]
[girl on TV] The bad news is, I may have gone overboard.
Like, on some of my stories, I might have exaggerated a little,
especially about Mrs. Garrett being drunk.
-Fuckin' Tootie. -She had her eyeballs diluted.
[laughter on TV]
-[man] Oh, she's right that way. -[Jen] Thank you.
Hey.
Hi.
-You could have just told me. -I know.
I just thought... But I didn't, so...
I should have, but I didn't. I don't know why.
Because you have issues.
-You have no idea. -Yeah, well, I have them, too.
-Well, you're allowed. -So are you, Judy.
I mean...
okay, it's weird...
that you lied about Steve.
I mean, it's-- it's fucked up, you know, but...
maybe it's easier to lie about that than it is to...
to just tell the truth about the other stuff.
Maybe.
I'm really sorry that I said you didn't belong.
And you've... you've lost a lot, too.
But they were just miscarriages. It wasn't like I have actually--
Well, I think it is an actual... thing.
I mean, not if a Republican is asking. But...
you heard a heartbeat.
And you fell in love in that heartbeat.
Yeah.
[sighs]
Come on. I have tissues and whiskey in my room.
-[Jen] You live here? -[Judy] Yeah.
[Jen] Here?
-Thank you. -Yeah.
So, this is where you were whenever we would talk on the phone, huh?
Yeah.
They're letting me stay here till I find a place.
Rooms open up all the time.
Oh, I'll bet. [chuckles]
-God, the smell in here. -Yeah.
Yeah.
But you get used to it.
Oh, okay.
I didn't think you were ever gonna talk to me again.
-You were so angry. -I told you you wouldn't like it.
I did not.
-It was a little scary. -I'm sorry.
[Jen sighs]
Look, um...
my guesthouse is open.
Um... It used to be Ted's music studio, but...
but he's... he's not using it. Um...
But you're welcome to.
Welcome to what?
To come and stay with us.
Wow, that's very generous.
But you don't have to take pity on me
just because I'm a 41-year-old barren woman
sleeping in an assisted living facility.
Yes, I do.
Seriously, come.
It'd be nice having you there.
Thank you.
-Now can I give you a hug? -No.
Come here.
[Jen] That's good.
-You're a good hugger. -Aww.
All right.
Here we go.
[man laughs]
[Jen] Told you.
♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪
♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪
♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪
♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪
♪ The sun is shining Come on, get happy ♪
♪ The Lord is waiting to take your hand ♪
♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪
♪ We're going to the promised land ♪
♪ We're heading 'cross the river ♪
♪ Wash our sins away in the tide ♪
♪ It's all so peaceful on the other side ♪
♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪
♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪
♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy... ♪
[meowing]