1
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,960
I should've been dead
a long time ago.

2
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,000
Everybody in my family's dead,
except for me.

3
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,720
I've always wondered why.

4
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,400
Why am I still alive?

5
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,840
I'm the black sheep of the family.

6
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,720
I'm the only one that caused trouble.

7
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,840
I actually think
there's someone else besides me

8
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,240
playing tricks with my mind, or whatever.

9
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:17,320
But… I can clearly say
that things I've done…

10
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,160
A lot of things I don't remember,
I don't remember how I got there.

11
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,960
It's like I can hear another voice saying,

12
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,160
"Yeah, you did this."

13
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,200
You know.

14
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,840
I'm like, "No, I didn't do this."

15
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,240
And it's like
me playing a game with myself.

16
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,400
My name is Deryl Wayne Madison.

17
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,880
Born August 29th, 1958
in Monroe, Louisiana.

18
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,720
I've been incarcerated
for the last 33 years

19
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,960
for a crime that I committed
in my neighborhood

20
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,000
in the year of 1988.

21
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,280
Well, I grew up in Texas.

22
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,040
My mother was…

23
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,040
a registered nurse.

24
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,960
She was a hard-working woman,
Christian woman.

25
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,440
I got along with my mother
better than I did with my father.

26
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,680
Me and my dad butted heads
from the time I was five years old,

27
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,120
and I never got along with him.

28
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,840
I caught a lot of whippings from my dad.

29
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,840
A lot, 'cause, uh…

30
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,440
Extension cords and boards, mostly.

31
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:16,080
A lot of times I took off
and I wouldn't come back.

32
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,320
You know…

33
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,120
And it just got…
It just got worse and worse.

34
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,520
The first time I set a fire,

35
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,080
I set a calendar on fire,
it was on the wall.

36
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,040
I set it on fire.

37
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,120
I'd just sit there
and just watch it, you know?

38
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,880
And from that point on, it's like…

39
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,840
I was obsessed with fire.

40
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,560
I don't know if it was… aggression,

41
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,880
taking it out on my dad, or a part
of my dad, I don't know what it was.

42
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,640
But it's…

43
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,360
I actually lost it.

44
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,320
Coming into my teenage years…

45
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,840
12, 13 years old…

46
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,120
I set a lot of buildings on fire,

47
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,600
a lot of empty houses.

48
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,440
And while the fires are going,

49
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,880
and some people think I may be crazy, but…

50
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,120
I would masturbate while the fire's going.

51
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:30,960
And when I'm done,

52
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:32,800
like, "Okay,

53
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,200
I'm good," and I'd just leave.

54
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,160
You know.

55
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,440
That's kinda weird.

56
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,320
That I'd stand in the middle of a fire

57
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,800
and masturbatin'
while the damn fire's going.

58
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,560
You know, who does that?

59
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:48,320
Know what I mean?

60
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,640
It's like I can hear another voice saying,

61
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:57,920
"Fire time." Right?

62
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,040
It's like, "Fire time…"

63
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,800
I want to say it's another person.

64
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,360
I feel like…

65
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,000
there was something else,
someone else inside of me, besides me.

66
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,880
I set my own house on fire one time.

67
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,480
Everybody was gone to church.

68
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,000
I set it on fire and I got back in bed

69
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,560
and I lay down.

70
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,960
I just stayed there.

71
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,000
Before I knew it, the fireman
was snatching me out of bed

72
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,240
and dragged me out of the house,
and I was full of smoke and stuff.

73
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,280
They're like, "Who set the house on fire?"
I'm like, "I don't know."

74
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,320
Come to find out, it was me.

75
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,440
Was it me, or was it someone else?

76
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,080
I don't know, I can't tell you.

77
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,800
I… I don't do that.

78
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,080
It had to be someone else,
it's not me. I don't do that.

79
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,840
Man, I started smoking weed
and drinking wine

80
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,560
when I was, like, 12 years old.

81
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,640
Then I started taking Valium
and white crosses,

82
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,280
walking on top of damn buildings.

83
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:32,360
It's like… when I'm doing stuff
like that it's like, I'm bold as hell.

84
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,440
I feel like I'm ten feet tall,
and I just start doing stuff.

85
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,760
By the time I was 16,

86
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,000
I was walking
the streets of Houston, you know.

87
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,600
I was just getting off
on all kind of stuff.

88
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,120
I'd go in a store and steal something,
or I have a chance to take some money

89
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,280
from somebody, I'd do that.

90
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,600
I got out in '83.

91
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,840
Hmm.

92
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,760
I had a job
working in an apartment complex

93
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:17,880
and stuff like that.

94
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,720
It was good while it lasted,
but that's when I started smoking crack.

95
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,240
In order for me to keep that habit up,

96
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,560
I was robbing and stealing like crazy
at that time.

97
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,720
That's when my life
went straight downhill.

98
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,560
This particular day,

99
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,280
it was in April.

100
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,560
I was just walking down the street.
I had, like, 1,800 dollars in my pocket.

101
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:11,520
And I had, like… three ounces of rock,
coke, in my pocket.

102
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,560
And Miss Jolivet,
she was sitting on her porch.

103
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,640
I waved at her, and she waved back.

104
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,360
I went around, I jumped over the fence
and sat on the porch with her.

105
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,840
We was talking about the weather,
how's everything going,

106
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,040
how's the garden and all that stuff.

107
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,800
I used to help clean out
the garage and stuff, clean the yard.

108
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,120
I didn't need anything that day.
I didn't need nothin'.

109
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,040
I had everything I wanted.

110
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,160
I was just sitting there.

111
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,600
All of a sudden I just snapped,
I just popped off in my mind.

112
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,840
So she got up and she gettin' ready
to go in and I said, "Okay."

113
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,400
I got up and helped her in,
I held the door open for her,

114
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,920
and for some damn reason,

115
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,160
I pushed her all the way--
I pushed her inside the house.

116
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,520
You know…

117
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,080
I pushed her inside the house,
she hit the floor.

118
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,800
I hit her three or four times.

119
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,280
She was screaming.

120
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,360
I drug her to the back,

121
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,400
I ran in and got a knife
out of the kitchen drawer,

122
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,400
and I stabbed her twice.

123
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,600
Just like that, like…

124
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,200
I don't know what that was.
I don't know why I did it.

125
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,960
Then I sat down on the floor.

126
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,240
I just sat there, right next to her,
I just sat there.

127
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,760
I was told I did a lot of shit.
I was told I tore the house up…

128
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,240
I… I really didn't believe none of that,
but I didn't tear nobody's house up.

129
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,480
At least I don't think
I tore the house up. I don't…

130
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,280
I was so full of drugs back then,
there's no telling what I did.

131
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,400
Man, I don't know.

132
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,640
I ran so far, I just ran
till I couldn't run no more.

133
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,880
I sat down on the curb…

134
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,120
of Tuam and Main, I just sat there.

135
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,960
And it dawned on me
that I had killed someone.

136
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,440
No, I didn't kill nobody.

137
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,360
I couldn't kill nobody, right?

138
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,280
I was about 14.

139
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,760
I was in class.

140
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,280
Everybody in the classroom
was staring at me.

141
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,640
So the teacher said,

142
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,080
"Who are you talking to?" I said…

143
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,080
"What do you mean?
I wasn't talking to nobody."

144
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,040
Everybody in the classroom
was watching me, I was talking,

145
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,680
but I was unaware that I was…

146
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:25,600
talking.

147
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,280
I didn't know I was.

148
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,880
So I know that's another personality,
it had to be.

149
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,720
It just pops up all of a sudden.

150
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,160
I don't know
why I killed Miss Jolivet.

151
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,240
I really don't.

152
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,120
But it was like a rage.

153
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,560
A fit of rage that come out of nowhere.

154
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,600
I mean, she never did nothing to me.
You know, but…

155
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,040
Why did I take her life?

156
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,240
You know…

157
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,080
Believe it or not,

158
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,560
I ain't have no feeling at all
when they gave me the death penalty.

159
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,400
I didn't know what to feel.
It's like, I don't feel anything.

160
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,120
I don't know why it's like that.

161
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,280
It's like when my mom died,
my brothers, my sisters…

162
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,880
I never shed a tear for anyone.

163
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,920
I don't know what it feels like to be…

164
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,240
loved by people.

165
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,360
I don't. I don't know what that is.

166
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,440
I couldn't tell you what that is.

167
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,000
As a sane person,
I wouldn't have done it.

168
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:12,480
You know?

169
00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,240
I actually think
there's someone else besides me.

170
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,520
Maybe, it's me doing drugs

171
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:23,920
that this… other personality I have,

172
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,120
usually pops up.

173
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:30,000
It's like I can hear another voice saying,

174
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,840
"Yeah, you did this," you know?

175
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,760
I'm like, "No, I didn't do this."

176
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,400
It's like me playing a game with myself.

177
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,520
During my trial,
after going through everything,

178
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,880
after listening to all the testimony,

179
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,640
and looking back on my life,

180
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,400
and what I've done,

181
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,120
at that time,
yes, I did deserve the death penalty.

182
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,200
You just don't take a life

183
00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:14,840
from someone
that's been living that long, you know?

184
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,520
And you deserve to be punished for it.

185
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,120
I deserved the death penalty
for doing what I did.

186
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,560
Yeah, I understand.

187
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,160
That's how the law works, huh? So…

188
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,600
At the same time,
I'm locked up for the rest of my life.

189
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:30,120
I'm never getting out again…

190
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:34,160
you know.

191
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:35,840
I'm not a monster, right?

192
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:37,920
But I did commit a crime,

193
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:39,920
and I am paying for it.

194
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,480
She's the detective
that was in my case, right?

195
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:16,960
They kept asking me questions,

196
00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:20,720
and I told them exactly what I did.

197
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,000
I didn't lie about anything.

198
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,960
I did take stuff out of the house.

199
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:30,120
I had no plans of that before,
but when I went in there,

200
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,600
and after she was dead, yeah, I did.
I started just taking stuff out the house.

201
00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:37,360
It was stuff that I sold for crack.

202
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,280
I was thinking like a dope fiend.
I didn't have a clear head.

203
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,400
I was a dope fiend. I wanted drugs.

204
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,400
That's what that was.

205
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,640
I did not plan to murder Miss Jolivet.

206
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,000
That happened while I was there, right?
It just… all of a sudden, it just…

207
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,160
It was a different thing.

208
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:01,760
Once I was in there,

209
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,240
my whole… my whole mindset changed.

210
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,640
I don't consider myself
an evil person, but…

211
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:12,960
we have to pay our…

212
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,480
debt to society
anytime we do anything wrong.

213
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,080
I may not like it, but,

214
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,960
as the saying goes, "You make your bed,
you have to lie in it."

215
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,640
Bubba was the name that
my grandmother gave me when I was born.

216
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,800
That's what I call my other personality.

217
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,000
Bubba is…

218
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,000
I wouldn't exactly say my alter ego, but…

219
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,480
Sort of a Jekyll and Hyde type.

220
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,960
You know, he gets me in trouble.
I'll put it that way.

221
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:54,520
He's…

222
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,440
it's more like me
asking myself questions, right?

223
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,120
You know,
"What the hell did you do that for?"

224
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,040
I'd get up in the middle of night
and walk back and forth in the cell.

225
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:08,920
He would say, uh…

226
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:11,880
"Can't sleep?"

227
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,840
It's just crazy, man… I dunno…

228
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,160
I hope he doesn't do anything stupid
one of these days.

229
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:27,200
It's not scary because I'm in here, huh?

230
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,040
If I was out there, it'd be different.