1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:05,040 "And the next thing he saw was this bare hand of his going right into the middle 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,080 of a great glistening mass of black, 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,480 and he gave one piercing cry as it touched. 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,160 Outside in the sunshine, far away behind the house, 5 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:16,440 the mother was looking for her son." So good, no? 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,120 I didn't really get the end, though. 7 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,680 Maybe it means 8 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,080 how we all grow up and our parents don't really get that. 9 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,400 And we are busy on our own adventures, 10 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,640 but our parents are looking for their child. 11 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,960 It must be something like that, I think. 12 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,320 That does sound nice, no? 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,440 -Fuck, now I feel like calling my mom. -I know, right. 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,640 All right, bro. 15 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,880 -Did you just say "eyebrow"? -No. 16 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,000 I said... 17 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,000 all right, bro. 18 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:54,880 -All right, bro. -Okay. 19 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,240 I'm gonna set an alarm for tomorrow. I have a long day. 20 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,000 Set it for when you have to wake up and not an hour before that. 21 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,519 I need an hour to wake up. 22 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,160 Yeah, but it disrupts my sleep. 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,400 Fine. 24 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,040 I'll set an alarm for 30 minutes before I need to wake up. 25 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,320 No, 40. 26 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,200 Forty-five. Please. 27 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,640 Good night. 28 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,200 I love you. 29 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,880 Good night. I love you, too. 30 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,400 Fuck, dude. 31 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:19,960 It's happening again? 32 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,240 What breed of mosquitoes are these, man? They're completely immune to repellents. 33 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,360 You got one? 34 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,720 I also killed one. 35 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,240 That's amazing. 36 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,240 Two down, 200 to go. 37 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,080 Momo, let's cover our heads and sleep. I have work tomorrow. 38 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,160 Fuck this. 39 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,400 Kavya, get up, man. 40 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:51,960 Do something, man. 41 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:52,880 Get up! 42 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,520 Okay, you're not gonna let me sleep either. 43 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,200 I'm going to find a solution for this once and for all. 44 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,800 380 rupees, madam. 45 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,320 How can it be 380 rupees? It's just mosquito oil and ice cream. 46 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,560 Thank you. 47 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,760 What is this? 48 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,800 Why does it say fire and ice? 49 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:16,960 I know, right? 50 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,000 Why would anyone want to use this? 51 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,360 Especially in Bombay where it's already so hot and humid. 52 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,640 We'll find out. 53 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,360 -We aren't using this, Dhruv. -Why not? 54 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,320 Because why would I want to feel hot or cold down there? 55 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,360 I don't know. We'll find out. What's the worst that can happen? 56 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,800 I'll go to the doctor, say, 57 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,600 "I was having sex wearing a Fire & Ice condom 58 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,880 -and my pubes caught fire." -Hey, let's go. 59 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:39,800 Good night, bro. 60 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,600 Stop walking so fast. 61 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,080 I'm not walking fast. You are walking slowly. 62 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,720 -Mine is better. -Let me try. 63 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,640 Sure. 64 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,760 Want anything else? A back massage or something? 65 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,720 -What the fuck was that? -What the hell was that? 66 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,840 Somebody just smacked the back of my head! I will screw your happiness, asshole! 67 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,600 Mr. Delhi 2016. Relax. 68 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:03,520 The fuck? 69 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,280 -Who is he? -Shit. He is taking a U-turn. 70 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,000 Fuck this, let's run, let's run. 71 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:10,760 Shit-face! 72 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,960 Where are you running off to? 73 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,240 Karan, what the fuck are you doing here, man? 74 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,600 -How are you? -How are you doing? 75 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,840 -Been ages, dude. How have you been? -All good, dude. All good. 76 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,760 You tell me. 77 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,640 Nothing, man. Just here for, like, four hours. 78 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:26,840 Came here for a day for work. 79 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,040 You tell me, how are you? Running private tuitions like Mishra? 80 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,040 I'm seriously thinking of doing it. 81 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,400 By the way, that's Kavya. 82 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,440 Kavya, he's Karan. 83 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,280 This guy shat his shorts in second grade. 84 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,560 -Good to know. -Thanks, man. 85 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,960 That's the best introduction anyone's ever given for me. 86 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,160 But this is my assholic friend, Dhruv. 87 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,840 Who was caught by a teacher in fifth grade, 88 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,840 stealing a second grade kid's lunch and eating it. 89 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,840 -That's horrible. -Stuffing his face. 90 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,320 Basically you used to steal other people's food since you were a kid. 91 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,360 See, I was always this cute. 92 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,720 No. You were always this fat, you needed that much food to stuff in your face. 93 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,760 His food used to be very delicious. Tell her, dude. 94 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:05,680 It's justified. 95 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,160 -You would have done the same thing. -I wouldn't. 96 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,200 No one would have done that. You look better in real life than your pictures. 97 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,880 -Thanks. -If you don't mind me asking, 98 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,720 what are you doing with this loser? 99 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,360 I don't know. Chilling? Time pass. 100 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,760 -Yeah, time pass. -Really? 101 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,080 Time pass? 102 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,120 Have you ever seen your face? Dhanush. 103 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,320 -What? -Dude, wait. 104 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,320 You are exactly like that, like Dhanush and Sonam Kapoor. 105 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,920 Come on, your auto is waiting. 106 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,360 I like this, I'm going to use this. 107 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,400 Except he makes Dhanush look like a supermodel. 108 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,560 Fuck off. 109 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,080 -That's a good one. -You can use that next time on him. 110 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,480 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 111 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,080 -What are old friends for? -I'm gonna head out. This was great. 112 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,440 Come home. 113 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,360 Yeah, true. 114 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:49,640 Let's grab a beer. 115 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,640 Next time. Next time, I promise. Okay? 116 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,280 Because I just had the midnight buffet and drinks at the Marriott. 117 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,720 Marriott? Big man. You're running private tuitions, too? 118 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,280 I got a really good deal on Little App. 119 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,200 -Sweet. I love that shit. -Yeah, like fancy times. 120 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,920 Technology changing our lives. It's great. 121 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,440 -True. -Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go. 122 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,680 -I will see you guys later. -Have fun. 123 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,280 It was a pleasure meeting you. 124 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,760 -See you, bye. -See you, bro. 125 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,440 The next time you're here let me know, we'll do something together. 126 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,080 I will. Definitely. See you. Bye. Good night. 127 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,320 Do all the guys from Delhi sound the same? 128 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,600 -Why is my phone vibrating so much? -You're also awaiting Tinder action. 129 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,840 I'm sorry. Do you know where a pharmacy that has condoms is? 130 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,600 Go straight and make a right. 131 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,160 24-hour medical shop. 132 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,720 -It's gonna be open, definitely? -Yeah. 133 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,800 Okay. 134 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,240 -Use it. It's our favorite. We love it. -Dude. 135 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,120 -You're super cool. -I know, right? 136 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,360 You're much cooler than-- Look at your face. 137 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,680 You're so much cooler than him. 138 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,760 Okay, if you decide to leave him, definitely, you should give me a call. 139 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,760 I have his number. 140 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,520 -I'm gonna see you guys. Good night. -Bye. 141 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,800 -Bye. I'm getting late. -See you, bro. 142 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,320 And laid. So, it's a great night for me. See you. 143 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,520 Have fun. 144 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,760 -So proud of yourself, no? -Very. 145 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,520 Kavu, come out and talk! 146 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,960 Kavya, come out and talk. I can't hear anything. 147 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,480 Why are you ignoring me? 148 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,800 I'm not ignoring you, dude. I couldn't hear anything. 149 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,080 Sandwich? 150 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,080 How can you be hungry again? 151 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,640 First of all, we had such a heavy dinner, ice cream also. 152 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,320 But that ice cream fell. 153 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,680 So, that craving is still there. Yes or no? 154 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,200 Yeah, okay. Make one for me. 155 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:30,840 Listen. 156 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,200 Vivek's getting engaged. 157 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,120 Vivek? 158 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,840 Oh, Vivek. 159 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,160 Your first boyfriend from Nagpur. 160 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,760 Isn't he the same guy who put a photo collage of you and his mother? 161 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,600 Captioned it as what? "Lovers." 162 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,560 That was fifth grade, Dhruv. 163 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,720 Will you stop remembering weird things about my exes. 164 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,120 -But it's just funny, dude. -I'm being serious. 165 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,640 Serious. Wait. Yeah, we should take this seriously. 166 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,200 Salami. We should put that salami. You want that salami? 167 00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,880 -Yeah, whatever. Okay, put. -Yes. 168 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,480 It's weird to know that he's getting engaged. 169 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,240 He was my first boyfriend and the longest one. 170 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,280 So nice. Did you just say that? 171 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,080 I meant that was the longest relationship I was a part of. 172 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,000 Sure, right? 173 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,400 Stop being cheap. 174 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,680 What cheap? You said it. 175 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,880 I'm just repeating it. 176 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,400 You won't feel weird if your ex gets married? 177 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,680 You know, it depends. If the pretty one gets married, then, yes. 178 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,280 If the other "blah" one gets married. I'll be like, 179 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,520 "Whatever, they got married." 180 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,520 -So Delhi. -What's so Delhi about this? 181 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,840 If that guy, the same Nagpur guy part two-- 182 00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:39,880 And who used to call you what? "Jaanu." 183 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,880 If that guy gets married, are you really going to be upset? 184 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:43,919 Be honest. 185 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,840 First of all, he was my high school boyfriend. 186 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,200 Will you stop remembering weird things about my exes and making me feel guilty? 187 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,680 I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. All I'm saying, 188 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,720 it's good to remember the fun things about exes and forget the bad shit. 189 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,800 Otherwise, how else will you date again? 190 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,120 No! No, you fucking don't! Who is this? 191 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,040 You see that? 192 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,120 -Who the fuck is this? -Are you still thinking about him? 193 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,440 Yeah. I'm sorry. 194 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,120 I saw that girl's profile sometime back. 195 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,560 And she's pretty, dude. 196 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,120 Now I'm feeling even more terrible. 197 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,480 Okay. 198 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,080 Simple maths. 199 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,960 No, no, no. Listen. This is going to make sense. 200 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,320 Ninety-seven percent of Indian males 201 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,840 that get married are between the age group of 18 to 35. 202 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,560 That means, if you have 100 friends, 203 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,520 52 will be boys, 48 will be girls according to the sex ratio. 204 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,560 Out of those 52, you must have dated at least three boys. 205 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,080 Just say yes. Don't act innocent. 206 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,000 Yeah? 207 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,200 So, the chances of your ex not getting married is... 208 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,160 0.03 percent. This much. 209 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,160 -Makes no difference. -What's your point? 210 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,000 The point is that him getting married is actually the normal thing. 211 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,160 What you should do is send him a message. 212 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,240 "Congratulations. 213 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,360 Please don't make another photo collage of your wife and your mother 214 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,960 and put it on Facebook as your DP. Because that shit is not cool, man." 215 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,480 And he is capable of doing that. You know that. 216 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,720 Sent him a message. You'll feel good. 217 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,200 Even if you don't, give it two days. You'll forget about all of this. 218 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,880 We are too busy to remember any of this for too long. 219 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,040 What an amazing speech, Dhanush! 220 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,400 No. What has Karan taught you, man. 221 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,920 It's going to be your new thing, no? 222 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,640 Yeah, I guess you're right. 223 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,160 He's a nice guy and I suppose I am happy for him. 224 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,240 How nice. Now can we just finish this topic? 225 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,000 Mosquitoes are dead but we're talking about the same thing. 226 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,120 This is so nice. 227 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,080 I know, man. I know. 228 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:48,880 What? 229 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,800 Bite? 230 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,800 No. 231 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,840 Okay, small bite. 232 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,000 Why would you do that? 233 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,080 -Do what? -That's the best part of a sandwich. 234 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,480 Why would you do that? That's horrible. 235 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,560 See, these are the things that you should feel bad about. 236 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,880 Not your ex getting married. That shit doesn't even matter. 237 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,720 -Yeah, yeah, I get the point. -Yeah? 238 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,880 But I'm more hungry. 239 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,760 Will you make one and split? 240 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,640 Now we're talking. Just give me two minutes. 241 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,880 -Now we'll get a good night's sleep, too. -What's the connection? 242 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,120 The more you eat, the better you sleep. 243 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,160 Even pandas do this, don't they? 244 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,840 Pandas don't have to get up in the morning for office. 245 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,560 Pandas are damn lucky, dude, come to think of it. 246 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,200 I can't believe we're having this conversation. 247 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,520 -What's the time? -At 3:30 a.m. 248 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,480 It's 3:30? 249 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,120 Okay, let's just finish this episode and sleep, man. 250 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,400 You didn't have to bring up my ethnicity or my size.