-Would you like some tea, brother? -Yes, please, sister.
Wow, four out of five.
-Not bad, Sonu. You're doing great. Stud. -Do you want to hear a joke?
Yes. Go for it.
A guy was eating some street food and he sneezed and farted at the same time.
So, he said, "Great, whoever just remembered me
also bust my ass."
Are you crazy? Where did you hear that?
-Did he make a mistake again, brother? -No, no mistake.
Mom, I recited the Moon poem for him.
Yes, the Moon poem. You are very smart, Sonu.
Okay, let's go. Bye, brother. By the way, when is sister back?
She was supposed to come back today.
But I think she murdered someone.
I can't get to her on the phone, and when I do, she doesn't talk.
Maybe she is on the run.
-It was on the news. -It was, right?
-They showed a photo, too. -Exactly.
-They said she is on the run. -Yes.
Who is on the run?
Moving on to the next award now and the winner for
Glucon-D Most Enthusiastic Employee goes to Chadda Sir.
Madam. Chadda Madam.
-So, how many awards are left? -Nine.
No.
Can't believe we go through this every year.
It'll be another half an hour.
Dude, I'm going to die. Please, give me the lemonade.
I don't mind being bored like this, but don't like the process.
Miss Goa 2018, how are you?
Guess what? I have a holiday today.
Dhruv! Not again.
It's the founder's death anniversary.
-How's your hangover? -Don't ask. I feel like shit.
-I'm sure you look like shit. -Shut up.
I'm going to jump on you when I see you.
I've been eating a lot of junk so that my bones don't hurt you.
Listen to this joke. There was a man who was eating street food--
Listen, I've got to go. Talk to you later.
Hey! You ruined the joke.
Hey, I'm serious.
And that's me at the top of Khardung La.
Khardung La anyone? Okay, for those who don't know,
Khardung La happens to be the highest motorable road in the world.
-Wow. -In the world.
And this was kind of a special day for me.
Not for the right reasons, though.
I woke up with 101 fever.
Yeah. And everyone around me gave the same reaction,
they said, "Brother, you are going to die."
But I had waited for this moment for the last 10 years of my life.
And I couldn't just let it go.
So I told myself,
"Raunak, even if something happens to you
while you are chasing your dreams,
you wouldn't die with any regrets.
You will never look back and say what if."
-What a bunch of crap, so cliche. -He's so hot.
So, if you feel something in your heart,
or if you have a dream,
just go and take a chance on yourself.
And you'd be surprised at what life has to give you back in return.
And if nothing else...
at least a cool profile picture.
Pay attention to that dream carefully.
-What? -Pay attention to that dream carefully.
Correct. Applause.
That's all, ladies and gentlemen.
What's going on there?
-Let's take a selfie, too. -No, thanks.
-The mountain dog doesn't sleep much-- -Doesn't eat much, either.
But he's very active.
But the city dogs sleep all day.
-Hi. -Hello.
-How much is it? -25 but you can give me 20.
-Twenty? -You won't get it for less.
That's what I am saying. It's 50 in Mumbai.
-Petrol prices. -He's right.
-The prices of global crude oil... -Thank you.
affect the prices of transportation.
And which is the second largest factor
that affects the prices of fruits and vegetables.
We bargain with these people,
when actually it is Trump and the sheikhs to be blamed for it.
-Interesting. -You're Kavya, right?
-Yes. -And what did you win?
It is called Mentos No Lack of Ideas.
What?
It basically means I am extremely idle and I have a lot of time to think about
great ideas to make your dull day fun.
But tell me something. Doesn't the routine get to you?
-I doubt I can ever-- -I know what you mean.
But the thing is that not everyone is unhappy with their corporate job.
-What about you? -I think I'm happy.
I mean, when I quit my previous job,
I tried to do a lot of different things,
like, I tired my hand at pottery, at organic farming,
I even did graphic designing for some time.
-Really? -When I was doing all of this,
I realized that I was really missing the structure of things.
The financial security.
The great Indian middle class values.
-Nice view, right? -Very.
Yes, I got the chilies and the gram flour.
Yes, coriander, too. Okay, Aunty. I will let you know.
Yes. I got the gram flour. All right. Okay, Aunty.
-Making pitla bhakri, brother? -Yes, sister.
Okay, thank you.
You know what this light reminds me of?
The evening prayers?
That also.
But there is a place called Chaudandas.
It is somewhere around 80 kilometers away from Almora.
So a couple of years back I was crossing it.
And the highway police told me that
I should spend the night at Chaudandas because there were some landslides.
I was very tired. So I slept.
Now, after a few hours,
I wake up to this general banter, okay?
And I see some 20, 30 men who have gathered for tea and biscuits.
And what was surprising was that they were telling each other stories.
Like, romantic stories, folk tales.
These grown men telling each other stories, right?
I was very surprised. I went to one of the guys asked, "Is today special?"
He said, "No, this happens every day."
-That's interesting, but how come... -So...
turns out that about five years ago,
some dude must have gifted them a radio set, okay?
Now that radio set became everything for them.
That was the only source of entertainment.
So after work, everybody would gather around and listen to the radio.
So music, news, information for farmers,
basically anything and everything.
And one day that radio stopped working.
Oh, no. Then?
They tried everything. They tried everything to fix it.
But they couldn't. So, eventually, they got fed up with the radio set,
but they had to fill that void, right?
So they started telling each other stories.
-Okay, wow. -Yeah.
So somewhere in India right now, 6:30,
as a "routine"
people are telling each other stories.
Wow, it's...
It's like walking into a library
and suddenly books start talking to each other.
Yeah.
I think that's how I'm going to end the story from now on.
Thank you.
Also routine isn't too bad as you must have realized.
-Sure. -Kavya!
I need to pee, bro. Let's go.
-Okay. So, stay in touch, maybe? -Yeah. You, too.
You know what? Actually I'm coming to Bombay.
I'm planning to do the Western Ghat stretch in 23 days.
-Wow, it's that specific? -I love to plan.
Never works out though.
So if you are free around that time,
maybe you could take me around?
Yeah, my boyfriend and I can show you around.
-Why not? Yeah. -Yeah?
-9819... -Yeah.
573295.
All right. See you.
-See you. -See you.
My sloth beer.
It's not "beer" Dhruv. Bear!
-Yeah, yeah. How are you? -Good.
Hug properly. We're meeting after three days.
Did you get the bathroom slippers?
Yeah? And the bathrobe?
-I'm not stealing a bathrobe for you. -Why not?
You've done it before.
-I got you bebinca cake. -Really?
Dude, fuck, but I can't eat this. Give me your hand. Feel this.
Can you feel them? Dude, man boobs.
It's really scary.
Guneet says that after a while they never go away.
How scary is that? I've got man boobs, dude.
Kavu, you okay?
Yeah, I'll just shower and come.
Yeah, you must be tired.
Okay, we'll have dinner when you're done.
Okay.
You should get that shower fixed, Dhruv.
Blueberry shower gel?
-Blueberry with honey. -Smells nice, dude.
-Pithla bhakri? -Yes.
-Some new Maharashtrian place? -Yes.
-How's it? -It tastes exactly like my mom's.
-What? Really? Okay. -It's really nice.
What place is this?
Well, this is... One second, even I want to try.
Momo's kitchen.
-You made this? -Yeah.
Before going to the offsite you said
that you are craving your mother's pithla bhakri.
So I thought I'll ask her for the recipe.
It's actually pretty simple.
You really do like it, right?
Very nice.
I think I followed the instructions correctly.
She even called me twice, thrice to ask me how I'm doing. So sweet.
By the way, Aakash's cousin has sent the video,
for dance practice.
It's a good dance. It should be simple. We'll manage. No problem.
Send it.
What is up?
-What do you mean? -What is up?
Dude, there is some wrong.
You are not smiling like a fool and you should be.
And you haven't taken a photo of this and put it on your Instagram story.
So there is something definitely wrong.
Let's just enjoy this, Dhruv.
This is not how one enjoys. None of us is going to be able to enjoy.
Tell me!
What's that "hmm"? Is that a yes or a no?
Dude, why do people write "hmm" while texting?
Isn't it like so fucking pointless?
Yo!
What?
If I ask you something, will you be honest with me?
Yeah.
Promise?
Yes, dude, I made it.
With my own hands.
It's very easy. I made it.
-I know, Dhruv. -Then what?
Dhruv, do you ever feel like...
you should have dated someone else?
What?
Answer me.
What do you mean answer you? No. I mean...
I don't thinks so, no.
I am with you,
I'm having pithla bhakri, I stay here,
and I am very happy, dude.
-Okay. -I mean, I'm...
-It's good. -Okay.
-Let's make this easier for you. -Yeah, okay.
What is the kind of girl you wanted to date when you were in college?
Wait. Are you asking me my type?
After all these years, you are asking me my type?
I think maybe you are my type.
Dude, I don't know what my type is, okay?
I mean, I've been dating you for so long, now...
What is happening? Why are you asking me these questions today?
Okay.
Today at the off-site, there was this biker dude.
His name was Raunak.
He's known to travel across India, he...
He's a travel blogger and a photographer. I mean...
Initially, he came across as a typical show-off.
But then we were talking, and he had these really interesting stories to tell.
Biker dude, no?
I mean, he doesn't have a proper job,
but he's so sorted. He likes to plan things.
And then somehow we exchanged numbers, and he just texted me.
You gave him your number?
Dhruv, I'm trying to explain something else.
Yeah, Kavya, but...
did you flirt back?
-Kavya? -No. dude.
I mean, no, I...
I was just behaving differently. You know, I...
I was on my best behavior.
Yeah. That's what we call flirting.
Dhruv, that's not the point.
Really?
I told him I have a boyfriend.
I told him when he comes to Bombay, we'll take him around.
What? Motherfucker.
Sorry, but, motherfucker. What is happening?
We'll take him around? Come along, dude.
Dhruv, will you calm down?
Yes, okay, now tell me.
Okay, firstly, this is not about him.
-Okay? -Yeah, okay.
It's just that this whole situation make me feel like...
what is someone is better suited for me,
someone else. I mean, not just me, even you?
Don't you ever think that someone is better suited for you?
Like is this it? Isn't there someone better--
Yes, I get the point.
So you've never thought about this? Tell me the truth.
To tell you the truth, I'm thinking about just one thing.
That I woke up in the morning
and bought gram flour for you,
got detailed instructions from your mom and made pithla bhakri for you,
and you have been partying with a roadie.
-Why are you laughing, madwoman? -Roadie?
Yes, he's a roadie. Biker.
That's not the point, dude. It's not about him.
That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's about...
It's about making a choice.
Like how will we ever know that this is good enough?
There could be someone, something better.
Yeah, obviously. Obviously there will be something better.
-Yes, then? -Then...
As in then what? Then...
Then you will never be happy.
It's not like that, Dhruv.
Working towards my future makes me happy.
Working towards making things better for us makes me happy.
Yeah, but wait. What's wrong with this? This is perfect.
See, nothing is wrong with this.
This is not about us. I'm just, in general, saying that...
-I mean, there is a person-- -Yeah.
Trying to make the best out of what you have
is what everything is about.
Like, that is the most difficult thing. Isn't it?
I don't know.
Okay, seriously, the thought does cross my mind, too.
Even I am human.
So when I met that girl in Bombay who happens to be from Delhi or that side,
so there are common reference points, right?
It's same conversation. You had dumplings from there?
Did you have street food from there?
And when I'm talking about, dude,
the sunshine feels wonderful when you sit on the roof in the winter.
So she gets it. And obviously, right?
And just like that, obviously, there will be guys who are better than me,
better looking than me. That's bound to happen.
But if they make you laugh the way I do,
if you open up to them in the way that you have opened up to me,
then I will feel very messed up.
I mean, as people, you and I are pretty ordinary, dude.
We are not ultra special. We are not superstars.
But this makes me feel special, dude. This is good, right?
When we're together, it's fun. It's nice.
So, I don't mind being ordinary because this is nice.
Yes, you know what?
It's like Leicester City winning the Premier League. It's exactly like that.
Yes, that's what this is. For sure.
-Yeah. -What?
Sit straight.
Yeah, it's like...
So, the odds of Leicester City winning the Premier League were 5000 to 1.
The odds of Mahatma Gandhi being alive right now are actually more than that.
So how did they win?
Because of chemistry. See.
There are two, three exceptional players,
the rest of the team was okay, but they played well as a unit. Cohesion, yes!
Cohesion is the word that the coach kept on using.
Yeah, they played well as a unit.
And what are we, you and I?
We are also a team.
We will watch Andaz Apna Apna.
On Sunday.
Thank you for this.
-It was amazing. -Yeah? It's good, right?
Dude, but I feel like eating bebinca.
You know what?
I can have two scoops of vanilla ice cream with bebinca,
put some mint leaves and some Baileys Irish Cream.
-Fuck. -You must, Mr. Man Boobs.
Don't say stuff like that.
Actually, fuck it, you can say it. But, seriously,
what if they just stick there and they continue to grow?
-Then what happens? -I think it will be amazing.
-We can go bra shopping-- -Fuck off, dude. Get lost.
-What is it? -Don't worry about yours.
-I'll love them as much as I love you. -Really?
Oh, fuck, what can't I hear him?
Where is your roadie? Roadie, see this, this is love.
-I'm sorry. -For flirting?
-I didn't-- -Yeah, okay.
What happened? Do you want some?
No, Dhruv. Let's try something new today, okay?
Try drinking your green tea without making that sound.
I can do it. But it won't feel as good.
I'm middle class. I can't do anything.
Shall I tell you something?
I did find it a bit weird
when you were talking about that roadie.
A little bit. But, yes, dude. It was weird.
Actually...
even I found it weird to tell you about it.
Yeah, I mean...
But if I didn't tell you, it would be unfair.
But the uncomfortable talks increase the comfort.
Yes, it's better to say something uncomfortable that is bothering us
than not to say it at all, right?
Jerk, repeating my words to me in English?
What happened to Leicester City after that season?
After that season?
They almost got delegated, man. They played badly.
-What? -Yeah, look at your face.
-Seriously? -Yes.
That's another story. We don't have to worry about that.
Dhruv? Will you please get some water?
-Get lost. -I'm thirsty.
-You get it. -But I'm tired.
-So even I am tired. -Please.
Just go and get it, dude.
-Damn. Just because of your pithla bhakri. -At least it was of some use.
Listen. Get me a bottle of water as well.
Thirst is very contagious at night.
-If one gets thirsty, so does the other. -You talk too much.
The light switch is outside. Why are you back?
I'm back now!
-What is this? -You go!
What do you mean, "you go"? You were right there!
Subtitle translation by Neeti Ray