I keep trying to be a cool millennial, and you…
you're making me travel like a boomer.
Hold this.
-Pat? -Dhruv in the groove, always in the move.
-Nice one. -Good to see you.
Yeah, same here.
-Meet my mom. -Hello, Aunty.
-Hi. -Meet my mom.
I'm joking. Kavya, girlfriend.
-Hi. -Hi.
-You know him? -Of course. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too. Enjoy.
-Okay then, bye. -Bye.
You go to the other corner of the world and who do you meet?
Office colleagues.
Now he'll think that I go on these lame tours.
-Dhruv, isn't he's on the same tour? -Yeah.
Chill.
Okay, so what is this? Kulkarni-style travelling. Tell me.
-Shall I? -Yes.
Okay. So, number one…
Every family member carries a fruit.
-Lovely. -Okay?
Number two, as the journey begins, we all shout, "Praise the Lord!"
And, number three,
if we find out that lunch is served buffet-style,
we don't eat anything before so we can get our money's worth.
Genius.
You middle-class slick chick.
Hi, everyone!
-Hi! -Hello!
I'm Christy, your friend.
Today, we'll be seeing Munnar together. Okay?
We have started the journey exactly at 7:30,
and we'll finish it in the evening at 5:30.
Have a great day, guys.
Thank you.
"Friend." Made a new friend.
I'm getting strong Hindi teacher vibes from her.
-She's going to be strict. We're screwed. -Shut up.
-Praise… -…the Lord!
Did you bathe today?
Yeah, we've seen so many dogs since you've come? Twenty at least.
Hey. Did you bathe or not?
-It's a No Bath Sunday, right? -Very convenient.
Yellow, yellow, dirty fellow.
Yellow, yellow, shitty fellow!
What the fuck! What was that?
-Yellow, yellow, shitty fellow! -Dude, this is so much more effective.
Fuck, did you just make this up? Like, on the spot?
Very impressed.
The St. Thomas Church was built by the workers of these tea gardens.
Take time. See closely and slowly.
But you have exactly 20 minutes. Okay?
Those who want to see the cemetery can go on my right.
Those who want to see the church, please proceed in.
"Take time, see things slowly. But you have only 20 minutes."
Hey! You can see my face later, okay?
-Go see the place first. -Yeah. Sorry.
It's so beautiful.
Yep.
Let's run away from here, quietly. Okay? Let's go. Come!
Just give this a chance, Dhruv.
Let's go.
Yo, I saw that.
What? It's a souvenir.
Do you need anything else?
Momo, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
And do no evil, doofus.
What do you think?
The woodwork is quite exquisite.
Shall we?
-You're seated? -Yes.
Okay, so…
I mean, how do we start?
They say something before the confession.
-What? -I'm sorry, but I--
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
I stole candy from Sandeep's bag from UKG until third grade.
I'll call him up right now.
Listen, you return the stolen candle first.
Okay, shall I ask a serious question now?
Okay, ask away.
-Very serious, okay? -Okay.
Okay.
If I die before you, what will you do?
Isn't this a little too serious?
I warned you.
Okay, okay.
So, I think…
I'll…
I'll find it very difficult to move on, but…
I think in the end, I will move on.
I mean, what other option do I have? Isn't that the right thing?
You will also want me to move on, right?
Yeah. I mean, obviously. But it depends.
Depends?
-Yeah. -Depends on what?
If you move on in three months, I'll have a problem.
-Okay. -So you should at least wait for like…
maybe…
seven months is okay, I think.
-Seven months? -Yes.
Okay, so wait. Seven times thirty, 210 days.
-Make it 200. That sounds better. -Dhruv, at least wait for 300 days.
Three hundred?
Where'd this arbitrary number come from? Two hundred is fine.
One minute. You've been with me for so many years.
You can't wait seven months?
But it's not about you, it's about me. You'll die and leave.
What will I do? I need to be happy, right?
Momo, you spent 14 months without me. You can't wait seven months?
So your seven months calculation stemmed from this?
-Shut up. You haven't watched the film. -Yeah, of course.
This is the only film I didn't see, right?
Okay, tell me this. "I'll have what she's having."
-What? -Yeah.
"I'll have what she's having."
That's a trick question. Sounds like you in every restaurant.
What the fuck?
-Did you hear that? -No.
-There was something there. -There was nothing there, Dhruv.
What if it was a tiger?
Whatever.
Fuck. Have you seen that viral video
where a tiger jumped out of a plantation?
That was a coffee plantation.
Very smart.
Like the tiger can differentiate between a coffee and a tea plantation.
It knows.
-We are leaving in two minutes! -Fuck.
All of you board the bus immediately!
Two minutes only!
Dear God!
Fuck, who are these people? Where do they come from?
-Let's go. -It's okay, Dhruv.
-Let's go. She's mad. -It's not a big deal!
Dhruv, slow down. They'll wait for us.
She asked us to come.
Everyone's there and we're ambling like idiots.
Will you relax?
Fuck it, let's go. What else is there to do?
You go ahead, I'll come.
You're really fucking annoying me right now.
We'll get there a minute late. Big deal.
When Harry Met Sally.
What?
"I'll have what she's having."
That diner aunty from When Harry Met Sally.
Yeah.
Sorry.
You were right.
It wasn't a big deal.
Everybody, wake up! Next pit stop!
Fuck, man!
-We had to get down here. -We'll have lunch here!
We had to buy banana chips.
-Fuck. -Dhruv, shut up. Just look at this.
-Wear this. -Dhruv, why didn't you call?
Mom, we were a little tired.
-That's okay. Is Kavya there? -Talk to her.
Hi, Aunty! How are you?
We're good. Have you finally decided about coming to Bombay?
It's decided. We're waiting for the transfer interview.
Okay.
Actually, I need a small favor.
Actually, there's a…
What is the name of Pramod's son?
-Is it Kavya? -Yes.
I'll talk to her.
Hello, Kavya! How are you?
-Hi, Uncle. I'm fine. How are you? -We're good.
Okay, I actually want to make an inquiry.
My cousin Pramod's son, Kishore,
he wants to do an MBA from NM.
-So what is the process for-- -I'll talk to her.
Darling, you've done your MBA from NM, right?
Yes, Aunty.
Do you have the contact details of the current principal?
Actually, Aunty, I do have the number, but…
Mom, this is not how it works. It depends on his CAT percentile.
I thought this could make the admission process easier.
Mom, this isn't the gymkhana club. We can't use--
Aunty, I will give you the number,
but please don't tell anyone that you got it from me.
-No. Please don't tell them. -Thank you.
-Okay, we'll hang up now.
-Okay. -Okay, bye.
Okay. Bye.
Should I become a career counselor?
It's the best gig for people whose own career isn't set.
You're worried about the transfer, right?
-Rahil hasn't messaged yet. -He will message.
-No. Relax, relax! -Relax, sir.
Okay, okay! Okay!
Your turn will come!
Sir! How can they cut in line like this?
Sir, not allowed. Please come back!
-It's okay. -No, it's not okay.
-They overtook everyone. -Relax!
We have time. You turn will come.
Why are they breaking the queue?
This isn't right.
You have only twenty minutes, okay?
Ride fast, but also relax.
Okay?
What is the word for "annoying" in Malayalam?
-What? -Christy.
-I can see a little mist. -Do you? See, there it goes.
Listen, you weren't annoyed with that NM discussion, right?
It's okay, it is not a big deal.
Yeah, but it was a little stupid, right?
You know, I was thinking…
I can tell my parents frankly that what they're saying is stupid,
but I can never say it to your parents.
Yeah?
I'll definitely say it. Yeah!
-Rubbish. -I'll be shitting bricks.
Imagine if I said it.
Then I'll be like, "Fuck! I have to take my words back!"
Ten more minutes!
-What? -Will you sing properly?
You sing. I have a bear's voice. You hitting the right notes.
-Your voice is a baritone. -Really? Nice!
You try first, then we'll see.
She talks to me a lot
Mom, she fights with her eyes
Mom, I miss her, I miss her so much
Na, na, na, what? "Girl"?
Don't do this. You always make fun of me. That's why I don't sing.
You're a North Indian, right? You should know.
I'm more of a beats guy. You take care of the lyrics.
Okay, Madonna, let's pedal the boat now.
The air here is so nice, Dhruv.
I think it's stuck.
No, Dude, fuck off! Don't even joke about it.
We'll get screwed.
What the fuck!
Come on, you idiot.
Like, what? Seriously?
Hey!
What the fuck, man!
If that couple didn't cut in line, we wouldn't have gotten this boat!
No fucking way, dude! No fucking way.
Such mishaps don't happen in Finland!
-Boats don't break down in Finland? -Don't be a smartass!
People don't cut in line there.
Fuck off, man!
Dhruv, relax. What's going on?
What?
Relax? Look at us.
We're in the middle of a lake, in a broken down boat.
We're not going forwards or backwards. We're stuck!
Dhruv, everybody else is not going to follow some different route.
We'll spot someone, right?
No fucking way, man.
Now who's calling?
Come out.
-Yeah, Mom. -Dhruv, you haven't sent the number.
-Please, be a little patient. -Dhruv.
Yes, but there's no need to scream. I'm just reminding you.
Sorry, Mom. I'll call you back. Just give me two minutes, okay? Sorry.
Fuck, man! This tour is cursed.
On top of this, there's that Christy. "Twenty minutes, come, let's go!"
This is how you relax?
-You should've said so. -What?
Everyone you have a problem with, you should've told them then and there.
What's the point of telling me this now? And here.
Stuck in the middle of nowhere. How is this helping anyone?
-Hello? Dhruv? -Yes, Mom?
-What happened? -Mom, yeah, I'll call you back.
Fuck, man.
Fuck.
I'm doing just that.
Yes, you are.
I'm behaving exactly like my father, dude.
The same thing used to happen in Finland. Everything was going well, was sorted.
But if anything went wrong, I would lose it.
Dad was the same.
If anything stresses him out, he'll fill himself with negativity.
He'd complain and moan so much, he couldn't think constructively.
Fuck, this is just that. This is exactly that!
-It's okay, Dhruv. -No, it's not, Kavya.
We have limited energy. We should use it sparingly.
We're not growing younger.
But you're not the only one going through this, right?
We all imbibe our parents' habits.
It's inevitable. Can't do much about it.
Really? This happens with you, too?
Of course.
Dad always picked on my mother. I picked that up.
Now we always make jokes at her expense.
It happens now as well.
That couple is coming this way.
Hi! Save us, please! Please, save us!
They didn't understand.
Christy! Call! Christy! Twenty minutes Christy!
Please, sir, please! Thank you, ma'am. Thank you!
Fuck! We'll be saved.
Sorry, sorry. Wait.
So, your mom…
I was saying that because of that,
I became used to being insensitive towards her.
Unintentionally, but it happens.
When I was staying with her recently, I was talking to her about having kids.
I told her I'm not sure if I want them.
But in my explanation of it, I made her sound so weak.
I fully judged her for having made the choice of having me.
It's really unfair, but…
we have to work on it consciously, Dhruv.
It's very unfair, dude, and it makes no sense.
Then…
Are we really choosing the person we love?
I mean, most of the things are pre-wired, right?
Half of our lives is spent in unwiring them.
I feel the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging it.
The two of us are doing that. We'll work on it.
You'll be fine.
-What the hell are you doing? -I'm rowing the boat myself.
-Shall I call Christy in my bear voice? -There's no need to be overdramatic.
They'll say we're screaming and not even drowning.
So sad.
Hi!
Save us!
What can we do?
Leave the passengers in the boat and leave?
Tell him we'll be there.
Asshole.
Sorry, Christy.
It's okay. My tour operator is saying that the food is getting cold.
Then we should rush.
Hey.
I heard you talk about it.
Thank you, Christy.
Okay, come on. Follow me now.
-Christy! -Yes?
Do we have just 20 minutes, or a little more than that?
Come fast.
What are you thinking?
You changed your mind about Christy.
-Yeah. -Was it easy?
Yeah.
Then maybe we can also change ourselves, right?
Obviously, it'll take a little effort, but we can't keep blaming our past.
Yeah.
Yeah, we might fail, but we should try.
I may not agree with my father, but…
I really want to have a good relationship with him.
You like having him around?
Yeah, man, it's really nice.
Till the time there's no quarrel, only peace, peace.
Nice, make that your WhatsApp status.
Fuck, man, I hope Pat doesn't go the office and say,
"Guys, Dhruv and his girlfriend Kavya were having sex in the boat and it broke."
Why are you concerned about what he thinks?
Because I used to work with them.
I want them to think nicely of me. It's only natural.
Okay, I want to clarify that I'm not a thief.
Okay. Thanks for that, but…
you know, right, every thief in the world says the same thing?
No, man. I just wanted to do something that I wouldn't normally do.
It was like…
It was like taking a vacation from myself.
And all my bad habits are not owing to my father.
Like, I can't handle money matters. I spend like an idiot, but…
Dad budgets everything really well, and estimates everything wisely.
-And you also suck at bargaining. -Oh, dude.
I'm fucking terrible at it.
Yes. And I didn't only steal candy from Sandeep's bag,
but a couple of times, I even stole money.
Just a couple of times, that's it.
Dad never taught me to steal.
-Okay, at least that's clarified. -Right?
Thank you, Kavu.
I'm eating such a sumptuous meal today, because of you.
Full power OG. My OG.
-Just imagine! -Thank you.
If we end up looking the same in our old age.
Weird, right?
-Can you imagine? -What rubbish!
Subtitle translation by Shruti Shukla