["I'll Take the Long Road" plays]
♪ Somewhere in my life ♪
♪ I realized I had to make a choice... ♪
[Porter] So, how are you feeling, Owen?
Good.
[Porter] You know...
I never told you this before, Owen, but, um...
you had another brother.
Long before you were born, long before your mother, uh, disappeared.
He had a lot of feelings too.
Cried nonstop. Couldn't take care of himself.
He was hiding things.
Wasn't loyal.
‐What the fuck happened to him? ‐I put him up for adoption.
He was only four months old, so fortunately I, uh...
I caught it early.
[exhales]
All he did was lie.
Babies can't talk, though.
I need you to take the fall for my most recent, uh...
drilling with that, uh...
bookie the other day.
Cops are sniffing around.
All you have to do is say you did it and then say you're crazy.
Me?
What? You just say you went nuts.
Frank says, "Your Honor, he thought he was drilling the cabinet."
Judge takes a look at you, he looks at that face.
He says, "With a face like that, that kid is crazy."
I'm your number two.
I'm compos mentis. Why the fuck would I go down for this?
[groans]
I don't know.
All this love in your heart, Owen. I don't know.
Makes it hard to trust you.
Makes it very hard to trust you.
-Hey, Frank. -Yep.
You couldn't give me a couple more of them blue pills?
[sighs] You know,
as your father's consigliere,
I really have to advise you to find something healthier than pills.
Like meditation, exercise.
‐Hey, Frank. ‐Hmm?
Reach into that bag and give me some fucking pills.
Thank you.
-[woman on TV] Chapter 5,827. -You're welcome.
Queen Gertrude watched her prey from afar.
Biding her time, awaiting the most delectable moment to strike.
The past had not yet relinquished its hold on Annia,
as she ignored the many warnings of the forest along the way.
Her eyes blurred by drink and greed,
she was unaware how many times she'd failed the same quest
to guide Princess Ellia to the Lake of the Clouds.
[coughing]
I see it with my own eyes, and its powers are unimaginable.
The Lake of the Clouds will heal you.
-Are we close? -It's just over that next range.
[Ellia] That mythical water will cleanse me of my sickness
and save me from death itself.
Can you feel it, Annia?
I...
My fingertips are tingling.
[Ellia coughs]
[groans]
[Ellia] Despite the warmth of my heart,
the coldness of sickness,
death seeps through my limbs.
-Are your fingertips still tingling? -Drink your soup.
[slurping]
Whenever I eat, you only drink your spirits.
We all sustain ourselves in different ways.
I find your company more tolerable while drunk.
Would you like to hear another tale of my homeland, Riverdale?
I really wouldn't, no.
When I join my ancestors in the aftertime,
I'm going to tell them of my journey with a grumpy, good-hearted elf ranger--
-Half-elf. -...who, with mutilated ears,
did her best to lead her burdensome companion to a cure.
First of all,
-we are not companions. -[Ellia coughs]
This is a business arrangement, yours and mine.
I guide,
and you follow, and hopefully you don't die along the way.
And second-forth, I've been thinking a bit about the terms of our initial "deal".
I'm going to need at least eight more diamonds
to take you to the Lake of the Clouds.
The land is very dangerous.
That would be extremely painful.
I urinate them.
Well...
-[Ellia coughs] -Oof.
Sorry to hear that.
You know, if I pissed diamonds, I'd do it all the time.
But that's me.
[siren wails]
Yeah, looks good.
[Carl] That's NYPD property,
just like you, bitch.
[laughs]
Hey, Owen.
You can do this.
[Owen inhales]
[Carl] That's a nice rock.
How'd old Jed afford that on a cop's salary?
I don't know. Maybe he stole it from the evidence room.
[Carl chuckles] I've gotta get a key to that room.
How's Rhode Island?
Nice up there?
I don't know yet.
-I haven't been. -No, you just send the money.
-Via courier. -Ah, to the Wambolds.
Yeah, to the Wambolds. Yes.
I'm sorry, Porter. I mean...
Courier gettin' jacked is on me.
-It's really fuckin' stupid. -And it's never gonna happen again.
[Hank] Never. I promise you.
-A one time thing. -Mmm.
Mmm. Okay.
It's okay.
Okay. [exhales]
-Hold him down, Owen. -Wait.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
It's okay. It's okay. Wait a minute.
-[Hank] Wait. -Drill, please.
[Hank] What? What are you-- What are you gonna--?
-So, what else? -What? Nothing, nothing. No, I swear.
You know why I'm the drill and not the skull?
No.
[Porter] Because I always know when somebody's hiding something.
It's genetic.
It's my superpower.
All the Milgrims have one. Mike was born with three nipples.
You've got three nipples?
[drill whirs weakly]
Battery's dead.
You think, Phil?
-It's a sign. -Who's in charge of the fucking batteries?
-Mike! -Phil! I'll get one.
I can find it. I can find it.
[indistinct chatter over radio]
[Hank] If you forgive others, they'll forgive you.
Your father in Heaven will also forgive you.
No, you're lying again. Fathers do not forgive.
But the Book of Matthew.
-[drill whirs powerfully] -[Hank] Fuck! Fuck!
Please, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Please! Blood is highly corrosive to drill bits. Aah!
Yes! Yes, I'm skimming.
I'm skimming and selling for myself.
Extra money to pay for a nurse.
I have a daughter! I have a daughter!
She's got special needs.
She's special needs!
Oh, yeah.
Temporal lobe.
The hippocampus.
Yeah!
[gasps]
[Annia] Disgusting creature.
Fuck!
[grunts]
Shit!
[screams]
My greatest triumphs always go unwitnessed.
[dragonfly] Hey.
Ooh.
Okay.
You're hard to keep up with.
Oh, let me just sit down.
So, um,
these assassins that keep popping up,
I think they're your inner demons.
[man] It's another bleedin' elf.
I've never seen an elf.
Because they don't exist, them elves.
And now I've seen not one but three...
[dragonfly] Bye!
...elves in one day.
This one's ears is all ripped off.
-[man] What do we do? -Take them to Lady Nora.
["My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me" plays]
♪ At night, I can't sleep I toss and turn ♪
♪ Candlesticks in the dark Visions of bodies being burned ♪
♪ Four walls just staring at a nigga ♪
♪ I'm paranoid Sleeping with my finger on the trigger ♪
♪ My mother's always stressin' I ain't living right ♪
♪ But I ain't goin' out without a fight ♪
♪ See, every time my eyes close ♪
♪ I start sweating And blood starts coming out my nose... ♪
[Owen] Fuck you! Fuck both of you! I'm done with this fucking shit!
He's gonna find out! He always fucking finds out! You don't‐‐
Fuck, you don't understand. He's got like a sixth sense for this shit.
♪ I drive big cars, everybody know me ♪
♪ It's like I'm a movie star... ♪
[Adelaide] He may have someone on the inside.
No, we don't know that.
It's probably fucking you, Carl.
Fucking bitch.
Yo, I am so clean, you can use my piss as detergent,
so sit on that.
♪ Or is it the one I beat for five thousand dollars? ♪
♪ Thought he had 'caine But it was gold medal flour... ♪
[Adelaide] Owen, we need you.
We need you to stay with us.
We need you to keep going.
Can you do that for us?
Can you do it for me?
[Owen] Do I have a choice?
You'll go to jail.
♪ What I saw'll make your ass start giggling ♪
♪ Three blind, crippled And crazy senior citizens ♪
♪ I live by the sword ♪
♪ I take my boys everywhere I go because I'm paranoid ♪
♪ I keep looking over my shoulder and peeping around corners ♪
♪ My mind is playing tricks on me ♪
♪ Day by day It's more impossible to cope ♪
♪ I feel like I'm the one that's doing dope ♪
♪ Can't keep a steady hand ♪
[music stops]
[indistinct chatter]
[Porter] This is disrespect.
I'm not ready to leave. Take it away.
[woman] Owen?
-What's up? -Olivia.
I'm in your Age of Discovery class.
Yeah, I know who you are.
What can I get you?
Just some coffee.
One cup of joe.
Thanks.
You know, I was gonna talk to you at class, but...
since you're here...
I noticed you take a lot of notes...
and seeing as we have that big final test coming up,
maybe we can study together.
Yeah, I'd like that.
-Come on, have I ever let you down? -No, never. Wow.
Hey, I've got to go. No disrespect.
Owen, so long as we're studying together, the coffee's on me.
Why are you so warm?
I have chronic hypothermia.
My skin's temperature is 106 degrees.
That's fucked up.
I've gotta go.
She's a long way from home.
-[Annia] Yes, she is. -As are you.
How did she find you?
How does anyone?
I was drunk in a tavern.
She was lost, and sick, and...
and wouldn't take no for an answer.
Does the princess know the ranger she's chosen as her guide
is hunted by invisible assassins
sent by Queen Gertrude?
I tell Her Highness only what she needs to know.
And who doesn't have a price on their head these days?
She stirs.
Such grace.
How can we repay your kindness?
No need, my child. It is my pleasure.
[Ellia] Did my guide tell you of our quest?
[Ellia coughs]
We seek a mythical water...
-that will cleanse me of my sickness. -The Lake of the Clouds.
You know it?
I was cursed to die by my mother.
I came from the Riverdale forest near death,
grasping at the legend.
Now, by the grace of the gods,
it seems to be coming true.
My ranger's going to save me from death itself.
[Lady Nora] I know where it is, and I can show you.
[man groans]
-Yurick. -All right.
Up, you idiot.
I'm sorry, m'lady.
I was lost in my own head again.
-Fetch the mirror. -[Ellia coughs]
All right, right. Thank you, thank you.
Who is he?
My husband.
[Yurick] Thank you.
I'd like your ranger...
to peer into this looking glass.
[Ellia] That's it.
What nature of looking glass is it?
Magic, of course.
So why not have the royal elf look into it?
[Lady Nora] The glass needs only see one of you.
Your fates are intertwined,
and I am most interested...
in your reflection.
What do you see?
I...
[Ellia] What is it, Annia?
It's two girls.
Who are they?
Sisters.
The younger one is leaning forward.
The elder one is putting rouge on her.
I know this image. It's familiar.
The younger one adores the older.
They've heard their mother is coming home.
So they're getting ready.
But she's not really coming.
It's you.
And me.
How can that be?
Did I find you?
Or were you supposed to find me?
Follow the stars north,
and within two days
you'll reach the lightning‐struck shell of an awin tree.
You'll find the lake,
so long as your eyes and your hearts are clear.
I wish you luck on your quest.
Thank you.
Thank you for your help.
-Get up. Boil some water. ‐[Yurick] Yes, ma'am.
Come, child.
Though you may be cursed,
you're still her eyes.
You're Greg FUN Nazlund.
Asshole.
Goodbye. Fare thee well.
She's very strange, that woman.
Did you really, you know, see all those things that you said--
Did you really see all those things you said you saw in there?
Ellie...
Ellie, it's me.
Look at me. It's me, Annie.
Yes, Annia.
My ranger and my guide.
Of course, of course, of course.
It's fucking fantasy.
[laughs]
It's my least favorite genre.
What is this?
What does this mean? What is this supposed to be?
What does any tale mean? My tutor used to ask me this.
I have read many fascinating moral tales in the archives of the palace.
‐[scoffs] Man, you love this. ‐Do you understand?
You love this. This is...
‐[coughing] ‐This was your idea, wasn't it?
What? All right, come on.
Hey. Come on.
You're okay.
[Mantleray] You're probably conspiring against me.
Turning my test subjects against me.
How are the systems running?
[Azumi] So far, all the key indicators look perfect.
Whatever she's doing is helping.
Maybe your mother doesn't destroy everything after all.
How is she?
She's breathing.
I never apologized to you about the gala.
You don't have to. The consequences were simply the end of our romance.
I'm sorry, Azumi.
It was a way out.
A way out...
of what?
Failure.
This is the quietest I've ever seen her.
What on earth are you doing in there?