I'm free and wild for feelings just like this
Oh
You're staring like you think You've not got your eyes like this
Oh
I'm going down And I can't get up
What a lady.
-Goodness. -Yeah, I know, right?
Jeez, okay. Am I kicking you?
No, I'd prefer if you did.
-Wanna play footsies? -Yeah.
-Hello! -How are you?
Ready for your order?
Yes.
May we please do oysters and octopus?
And then, a rib eye.
-What temperature for the rib eye? -Mid-rare.
Medium rare?
And then… linguine or bucatini?
-Bucatini. -Yeah? Okay, let's do that one.
-Trust me. -I trust it. Yeah, we'll do it. Thank you.
-I'll be back with the water. -Thank you.
-That was sexy. -Yeah?
-Yeah. -Wow, why?
Because for you to order for me is like, wow.
I like it. That's all you need to know.
Okay.
-I'm happy we're doing this. -Mm-hmm.
I just see so much good in you.
And just knowing what it is that you know you deserve,
the right person will show you everything that you need.
We are all growing up at a pace
where all of my friends are getting married and having babies
and, like, just buying houses and just doing these really big things.
-Absolutely. -And it's very frustrating.
Yeah.
You know what I want to name my first child?
Jewel.
Would you be willing to compromise in making that a middle name?
And then we could do the first name with an A.
They could be AJ the second.
You've been very great.
-You'll make me blush. -I'm trying not to.
I very much appreciate you.
-Okay, let's see what you got. -I'm excited.
These are our bestsellers, patatas bravas.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Cheers to me and you.
Tell me something.
Is there anything that scares you about being with me?
-Whoa. -You want me to say this at dinner?
Yeah.
You're great. I don't regret my choice at all.
Like, I'm really proud to have walked out of there with you.
Like, are you kidding?
-Are you not? -So nothing scares you about us?
-Back to that question. -Yes.
Um, I don't know yet.
Okay. I'll answer my own question.
There's nothing that scares me about you.
-Not yet. -Like what?
Everyone's on their Ps and Qs right now.
I think you will find that that's just me.
I'm so happy to be in this moment with you.
When I tell you, I absolutely… And I would say it till the cows come home,
I absolutely could not have chosen a better person to do this with.
Oh stop.
I've picked a lot of wrong people, but with you, I haven't.
I'm so appreciative of just who you are as a person.
Seeing how caring you are in just, like, the finest details.
Something that you did you don't even realize
that was such a huge deal for me was, like, you put chai tea next to my bed.
No, I wasn't smiling in the moment 'cause I'm a groggy-ass bitch in the morning.
-A groggy-ass bitch in the morning. -But I was smiling
ear-to-ear on the inside.
That's good!
Because that started my morning in such a fantastic way,
and I'm very, very grateful for you.
I wanna run with you
My worst fear in this process is if my partner falls in love.
I never really thought if I fell in love that that would be my worst fear.
-Cheers. To… -Cheers.
-New beginnings. -New beginnings.
Oh!
'Cause I can run with you
Forever
We'll do it together Let's make your move
Gonna hit you like Wow, oh, wow
Let me see the way you work it out
I'm back with coffee for my beautiful wife.
Thank you. Best wife ever.
My wife is such a hard-working girl.
Just providing for this family.
How's the world?
Um…
Lay it on me.
A lot.
I do miss AJ.
-Yeah. -Do you regret coming here?
No. This will benefit me in the long run.
I just need to get through this, like, hurdle right now.
I want to be here for you in any way.
-Yeah. -Thank you. That really means a lot.
I don't feel like it's a safe option to pick someone so
-similar. -Yeah.
-I feel like this was the ideal thing. -The ultimate pick.
-The ultimate pick. Yeah. -Yes, I agree.
Boom, boom, boom Gonna make you move, move, move
Let's go.
I need to pee.
-Do you want me to get out for a sec? -No, I kind of want you in there.
You want me in here?
-Is this growth you're having right now? -We're there. We're there.
We onto something new, yeah
There you go.
Wow.
How cute is this?
Our first picture.
What time is it?
Nine.
I'm actually feeling pretty good for sleeping for five hours.
-I normally am very grouchy. -Mm-hmm.
Do you have stuff like that?
Yeah, for sure. If I'm around people that are annoying,
then I…
I, like, can't tolerate it for very long.
-Yeah. Is Bridget like that? -Oh, for sure.
Sometimes I never am really sure what's going to come out of her mouth.
But that's kind of entertaining.
I remember, like, we were at a party once
where she thought the conversation was boring.
And she just, like, started humming.
And I'm like, "You can't hum…"
"You can't, like, start humming when we're, like, with people."
-You know, things like that. -That's so funny.
Which, like, I love, but also, like, not me at all.
This is your first healthy relationship?
Mm-hmm.
And that you're so sure that you want to get married of your first…
-I don't-- -How are you so sure?
I just am. Like, I don't really get that… that, like, questioning.
Like, it's not like grass is greener syndrome.
I am personally not trying to find
-something better. -Mm-hmm.
-It's just the finality of it all is… -Right.
-…scary. -Yeah.
I get that. It's like you're eating, like, a good piece of cake
and you're like, are you sure this is as good as you think it is? Yeah, I am.
Well, it's like you're gonna eat that cake for the rest of your life.
Yeah, and I love it. Why do I need something else?
-You've had bad cakes your whole life. -Uh-huh.
And then you have a good cake and you're like,
"I'm gonna eat this cake for the rest of my life."
That sounds, like, insane.
You would want to try and be like, "Oh, this is a great cake."
"I'm sure there's other great cakes in the world."
"I want to try great cakes."
"I love cakes now."
Really? That's how you would think?
-If you were to simplify it like that… -Mm-hmm.
…if something was bad
and then you have one good thing and you're like, "That's it,"
that sounds, for a realistic person, crazy.
Does it not?
-I don't think so. -Really?
Yeah, because you have it, and it's really good.
Why do you need another one? You know?
It's not that you need another one. Why is that the only one?
How… how are you so sure?
This is the one time I think you should be very selfish.
-I guess. -Yeah.
If I fall in love with you I need to know
That you're scared of you falling too
Yeah. I'm so hot, I feel like I have to turn the air down.
-You asked for it to be hotter. -I was freezing.
-But now… it's… -This is directly because of you.
Hey, Pilar, can you help me?
No, I taught you.
Oh no, I just set it to 85-- Oh, wait, I figured it out.
Sixty-nine. Excellent.
I wanna know the deepest struggles and the deepest
Tell me all your secrets
Over by me?
All right, I'm on my way.
Deep, deep
Lead me to the deep Show me where you're weak
Even if you're healing me 'cause
I need you to feel it
Tell me all your secrets
All of your knowings All of your codes
All of your mystery Under your folds
Just how deep How deep does it go?
Shh.
Dukey, relax.
You're gonna wake up Marie.
Are you awake?
You scared the shit out of me.
I'm so sorry.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
You've been up this entire time?
Yeah.
You okay?
Ugh. I'll live.
It's a lot.
-Yo. -Hello.
There's a new volleyball team in Orlando.
-Shut up, for real? -Mm-hmm. They're called the Valkyries.
Orlando needs a WNBA basketball team. I would go to that.
I did want to tell you, because it's kind of been looming on me.
I wasn't, like, completely 100% honest with you.
I just wanted to come clean with you and tell you I've seen Britney twice.
And hung out with her, and I wanted to be transparent,
clear with you, clarity, everything.
And just wanted you to know, like, I'm sorry.
Moving forward, like, that… that's not my concern.
So… I just wanted to, like, put it out there and let you know,
from here on out I'm completely invested and dedicated in this,
and I want you to feel that and know that every single day.
I appreciate that.
I mean, you're in charge of your own grief.
You'll deal with it in whatever way that you think is manageable.
I appreciate that though.
And if there's anything that I can do that I'm not currently doing for you,
I hope that you are able to express that to me
and make sure, like, you know you're getting what you need as well.
Yeah.
Broken stories
Fallen glories again
I feel like a fool, honestly.
I thought there was actually a connection there with AJ,
and now I'm shutting down because I do not trust her.
Oh my God.
Work is working my nerves today.
I would do anything to be in your position currently.
I bet you would. Mm.
I've never felt so betrayed, and it's very lonely.
I think you got, like, seven seasonings today for one meal.
$25 for fricking truffle, and I don't even know what it is.
-Oh. -It's wild.
I want you to smell it, actually.
Oh!
Why didn't you tell me not to smell it that close?
Why would you do that?
-Clear your sinuses. -You're terrible.
Oh my God.
-It's very intense. You don't use a lot. -God damn.
-Does it always smell like that? -Yeah.
I feel like we've been so, like, "protect our peace"
since we've moved in together.
Like, we want to stay in our little bubble.
-Just padlock the door. -Literally just me and you.
So I feel like it does show for both of us that we have that same mentality.
Yeah.
Wow, you're so fancy.
I can't describe how I'm feeling
I don't want your dirty fingers touching my food.
Where would you like me to put my dirty fingers?
You're so insane.
It's just you and I Your hand in mine
Come on, let's go.
Holy cow, Mel, look.
That is insane, bro.
-Is that the sun? What am I looking at? -That's the sun.
Wow, how gorgeous.
You're like a little chef.
You literally are a chef.
I feel like food is just… universal.
Food and music are what bring people together.
Facts.
That's just one of those things.
-And alcohol. -Valid.
I'm having a great night.
I'm always having a great night with you.
I feel like we're, like… very close
and, like, sure of each other.
We're, like, invested in this.
Did you think we'd like each other so much?
-Honestly, no. -Yeah, me either.
I thought that we would…
-fight a lot more. -Yeah, me too.
But other than that, I really thought, what am I going to talk about with Dayna?
-For 24 hours a day. -Twelve… yeah.
Every day. I know.
I don't think we've ever had a moment of silence though.
Probably 'cause of me.
-I don't let you stop talking to me. -Cheers to that. Cheers to that.
I thought trust was going to be probably
the thing I felt the least towards you.
And it's the thing I have the most.
Like, I trust you so much,
and I didn't think I'd trust you even a bit.
I have mad trust issues.
I truly believe you care about me.
-I do. -Do you know what I mean?
I think a lot of trust is built in, like, knowing how much you mean to someone,
or how much you don't mean to someone,
or measuring where you mean to somebody.
The more I think you care about me, the more my trust builds.
I like that you still are going on about how much you trust me.
So I'm gonna let you keep going.
I think I'm fallin'
Oh, I might need someone to lean on
What?
Maybe that somebody is you
I believe in you.
I believe the things you say to me.
Your actions align with the things you say.
It's hard to breathe…
Stop smiling at me like that.
Like, I don't question you anymore. You know?
Oh, I know.
You said, oh, you know.
Oh, I know.
Um, all right, so, Brussel sprouts, what were your impressions?
The truffle…
-Different? Definitely different. -They were fire. Yeah.
It smells exactly like what I thought it would taste like.
Um, I literally made it for you, 'cause I don't like truffle all that much.
Why make it for me? What if I didn't like it?
It's got me over the moon
You spent $25 on an oil that you don't even like?
-For me? -Yeah.
Wow, you love me.
-Yeah, don't go dropping words like that. -I knew it.
So tell me when your heart is ready
I'll give you my all if you let me
Love you
Oh.
I feel like… we take turns taking care of each other,
and I feel like very, like, catered to.
You're always, like, grabbing me water, or, like,
you waking up, making me breakfast.
That's really nice.
Really. Makes me feel very, like, special.
You are very special.
Thank you.
It's just crazy to think how far we've come along, and it's just like…
We still don't know where this is gonna go in terms of, like, growth.
I think for a long time, I wasn't taking myself seriously,
so my family wasn't taking me seriously.
-I was unsure, so they were unsure. -Mm-hmm.
Now I don't feel unsure.
I feel confident.
Like, I know that they love me,
and they, like, want to support me with everything.
It's just… I don't know. I mean…
I do think they're having a hard time.
I'll keep, like, initiating as long as, like,
I'm getting respect in return, as long as my partner's getting respect.
I think that's a big one.
In the past, I would always give them, like, a free pass
to just do things however they wanted,
because, yeah, it's just, like, it's okay because they're my family.
But, like, at a certain point…
I had to put my foot down.
Honestly, it's not fair.
Why does somebody deserve to be treated that way?
Why do you not give them a chance?
And then you expect everything to be the same with me.
-Mm-hmm. -It's very hurtful.
Yeah.
You have to build… courage and bravery
to bring somebody around,
and for them to not even be, like, taken seriously,
that's not something that I want for myself.
I get sad about it.
It's like, could I have done something better?
I don't know.
I'm just going to keep crying so you can do that.
-Is that your pick-up move? -Yeah.
I think they're going to come around.
I think they will take you seriously.
-I think that… -Yeah.
…now you… I see how much, like, your confidence has grown.
-And, like, your confidence in yourself. -Yeah.
And… I think that's a big part of why my family takes me so seriously,
is just because I make a decision and, like, that's what I'm going with and…
It's my way or the highway. They can take it or leave it.
-Yeah. -So they take it.
And I think you have that power too.
Thank you.
So I got to put it into play…
-Mm-hmm. -…when I get back home.
You will.
Anyways, you mean a lot to me, and you're so special.
Sweet.
No, for real.
Meant a lot to me. Mm.
You picked me like a wildflower
Steady as the sun does rise
Dancing in a golden hour
Now I'm alive, yeah I'm alive, yeah
-Is this shirt new too? -No, I've had this.
-I like it. -Thank you.
You really didn't think you would find a connection with someone?
No.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Wow. -Mm-hmm.
I feel like you're not the typical person
I would talk to at a bar.
How so? Thank you.
I don't know, because you are more quiet than me.
I usually gravitate towards people
that are a little louder and boisterous.
Okay.
You're just so eclectic, eccentric…
-…just like, free, vibey… -Mm-hmm.
…so you… that I've never been with someone like you,
and I think it's so… refreshing.
I don't know.
But I feel like I'm still learning to read you.
Well, earlier today, sorry if I seem in my head.
Are you okay or…
I think I'm feeling better now.
What was going on?
I think it's just so many new things all happening so fast.
-New environment, new partner. -Sure.
-It just set in to, like, have someone… -No, I feel you though.
…that I feel chemistry or something with this person…
You feel chemistry with me.
Yeah.
Then it's like, "Oh, now you're going to have a trial marriage together."
-I know, like, logically, I know… -I know.
-…that's why we're here… -Yeah.
…but still, like, emotionally I'm like…
-I know. No, I know. -It's weird to, like, flirt with someone.
It's weird to, like, indulge in this thing…
Do you feel like you're flirting?
Yeah.
You don't feel that way?
-No, I know you were. -Yeah.
How so?
-You need me to say it? -Mm-hmm.
-Okay. -Maybe.
I just think you are.
I'm just curious how you aren't dealing with the same inner turmoil that I am.
-I am. -You are?
-It seems, like, much easier for you. -How so?
To like be, like, flirty and affectionate,
and, like, attentive.
You never seem like you're in your head about it or something.
I'm feeling it too. And, like, it's so hard to articulate.
-Like, we've been having this chemistry. -Yeah.
And I didn't expect this either.
It just makes things more confusing.
Yeah. I didn't come here to just hook up with someone else.
Same thing for me--
Does it feel weird that you're with someone
that you have some sort of, like, thing?
Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying, like 100%.
Same.
There's a lot on the line.
-There really is. I think that… -For both of us.
-Like our own entire lives. -…it's scary.
But if I can feel some type of way with someone,
and then forget, and see my life with a new person,
that's more telling to me than the situation that I'm in.
I feel alive
When I'm in overdrive
I'm definitely going in the pool at some point.
-Yeah. -It's too hot to not.
No, it is too hot to not.
Do you want to know something really funny that you did yesterday?
You wanted gum.
And you took the gum out of my mouth and ate it.
Do you remember that?
At least I didn't take it off a park bench.
That would have been probably the best gum you ever had.
-Ew. -It'd have been reflavored and everything.
Ew! You're so gross.
So I feel bad because I feel like I'm being a bad influence on you right now.
-I'm a rider, Dayna. -You are a rider.
-We'll make the bad decisions together… -We do.
-…and then regret it later. -Yep.
I have very strong feelings for Mel.
-You want to get in the pool? -Yeah.
I don't process things quickly. I have to think and feel things
to figure out where I'm at and understand them.
And I finally let that hit me.
Mel tells me every day, like, let go.
I'm like, okay, I'm letting go, Mel. We're not going to have a single regret.
This experience forces you to, like, such a level of vulnerability
and closeness with someone.
It's so real.
Yeah.
I don't wanna take More that you can give
I ran into Mel and Dayna at the pool.
I know that Mel saw me, but there was zero eye contact.
After that, I was feeling so much panic.
Will I ever be satisfied?
I feel like I'm losing Mel.
And AJ and I are not aligned…
on anything.
This experience is just harder than I expected.
I stand to lose everything.
My relationship,
my business,
the person who I… wanted to be with forever.
I don't wanna take More than you can give
And I don't wanna blame you…
Haley and I saw Mel and Dayna at the pool.
Cackling. They were, like, splashing really loud.
They both look at me, and Dayna doesn't say hi.
She didn't say anything.
Instead, she looks over at Mel, and she's just like,
like, you know, like, "Oh shit, like, she's there."
I can't believe that.
That's fucked up.
If the person that I thought I was gonna marry can't come up to me
and just treat me the way that I deserve, then I don't want it.
With Haley, she just always makes me feel protected and cared for.
It's just so different. It's what I want for my life.
Thought I knew love before
I never knew how close I was
I think right now what's most confusing for me
is the fact that we both have exes that we care about,
but at the same time, it's like my feelings have grown for Dayna.
Now we're kind of just seeing, like,
"Okay, what does this mean?"
Thought I knew love before
I never knew how lost I was
Dayna has showed me
that Marie could possibly not be
the right person for me.
If this is forever
It's really scary, honestly.
Forever
Thought I knew love before
I never knew how lost I was
If this is forever
I will feel forever
I got you something.
You got me flowers?
Yeah.
Oh my God, they're so pretty. Thank you.
Of course.
You like them?
I love them.
They're so frickin' pretty.
They go perfectly with the flowers I got you.
I know.
Oh my gosh.
I meant to ask you, actually, what's your favorite flower?
I just… hoped you liked roses.
-Oh, yeah. -Roses are your favorite flower? Okay.
Look at our roses together.
I did see my ex briefly. I don't think Marita knows.
I do feel, now in hindsight, bad.
It just was a human moment.
Closure, I feel like that's warranted.
-I have to sneeze. -I'm about to massage this chicken.
Like, how do I go from caring 1000% about somebody
and then, yeah, it's abrupt breaking up, and now I'm living with my new wife.
I just needed to, like, talk to her.
We talked in great lengths, and really, how this would really benefit us
or change our relationship.
And that's what I needed to start my trial marriage.
Just go for it. Yeah, just run in.
Yep, you're doing good.
-Feels weird. -I know, it's weird.
I feel like I don't do this at home.
-I do this every day. -I'm more of a Door Dash-er.
I will be no AJ, no ex,
just completely dedicated to Marita.
Marita wanting romance, that is valid.
I'm gonna show her a little bit of my daddy energy tonight.
We gonna do a date night in our living room?
-Yeah, let's do it. -Yeah?
Okay. Wish we had a tablecloth.
Wait, I have an idea.
When I say I'm a romantic, this is the type of shit I mean.
How cute.
So, now that we've…
been married for a week…
-Mm-hmm. -…how do you feel?
Honestly, going to bed, waking up, and being around you all day is…
I couldn't ask for a better day.
-Truly, breakfast in bed… -Aw!
…we have amazing, just… our schedules align.
I don't feel like we have any type of, like, conflict with anything.
Even just in general, I feel like you've taught me a lot so far.
Just live life to the fullest. Like, don't stress about little things.
Like, let's go with the flow.
-Yeah. -Honestly, you're doing shit
that I didn't even think I was gonna get!
Here we are. Cute little dinner.
-Like, you stepped up. -I know!
I'm cooking, you set the table and the vibe,
like, no, I couldn't honestly ask for anything better.
Aw.
That's so sweet.
Of course.
I don't have to ask you to do anything or, like, be attentive.
You're just… doing it.
And it's so cute!
Aw.
It's just natural for me, like, I don't feel, like, bothered or feel,
"Ugh, I gotta do this." Like, no, I just want to.
So I couldn't have a better trial marriage wife.
I'm gonna take a peek.
At the chicken?
Still covered, but I just wanna like, hear how it's cooking.
Did you say, "hear how it's cooking"?
Like, I know that doesn't make sense, but it, like, makes sense to me.
Like, if it's like, I hear, like, just like, cooking, you know, like…
Yeah, literally!
Is there anything I can do?
-No. Sit pretty and… -Just sit back and enjoy my wine and…
Mm-hmm.
Take in this romantic atmosphere.
Don't slow down
Na-na-na, na-na-na
'Cause I like it What you're doing, doing to me
-Do you wanna do outside? -Yeah.
-It'd be kind of fun. -Let's do it.
-Okay, I'll bring your plate. -Oh, thanks.
You're welcome. The things I do for you.
I know, my wife is already so considerate.
I'm glad it's not a tense time for us.
-I feel so good -Me too.
-I'm so happy. -I'm, like, so happy right now.
I've been told I'm not really, like, a sensitive, romantic person,
and I've been told that in not just Marita and I's relationship, but, like,
-literally every other girl I've dated. -Yeah.
One of my very first relationships in college,
it was like, the worst relationship I've ever been through.
I couldn't have any friends, because if I did,
she would think that I was, like, cheating on her.
She just was, like, toxic as hell.
Like, she actually physically, like, abused me.
-I'm so sorry. -And there was a lot of
screaming and yelling at me.
The cops got called
because she was, like, trying to throw a Jack Daniel's bottle at my head,
and so my roommate was obviously freaked out…
That's so messed up.
Yeah. The cops got called, and I was like, "No, I'm good. Like, I'm not hurt."
Like, I just, like, lied for her.
'Cause you loved her, probably.
And then I thought they left, but they were still outside of my house
with my roommate watching in…
And we were arguing, and then she ran at me
and, like, shoved me to the ground,
and then they came bursting in the door and, like, arrested her.
And I was, like…
Oh my God, I can't imagine what went through your head.
"I can't believe they're arresting this person,
but also, she did shove me to the ground."
And I had to go in court, and I just, like, lied for her,
so that she didn't get a charge.
-So… -Did you keep dating after that?
-Um… -It's okay.
Yeah, not too much longer though, because then I, like, ended things.
Yeah. That had to be hard.
I don't know. There's just a lot I've gone through.
-Sounds like it. -And that has really scarred me.
And, like, so I feel like that's why, you know, the way I come across now
-is, like, not like a big romantic. -Yeah.
I want Marita to understand that
-we're two different people. -Yes. Yeah.
-It's okay for me to show my love one way… -How do you show your love?
I'm gonna, like, pick up after you and take care of you.
Like, I want to carry everything for you, and like…
I know. You just carrying my groceries today.
I was honestly like, that feels really nice.
-Yeah, like-- -It's, like, so sweet.
Time's changing
I have my moments.
It's not what it used to be
-Thanks for sharing, and… -Yeah. I just like…
You can tell me anything, obviously.
Light's fading
I honestly don't know how you are so strong.
-I get a sense of confidence from you. -Yeah.
I just don't know how you've gotten there.
I never talked about it to anybody.
Ooh
I don't know if I would be this open with most other people.
Ooh
Together again
Is it a paper towel?
Smell.
Oh!
-A rose. -Yes.
-Okay. -Yeah.
Tell me what you want Tell me what you need
I can make you feel
Everybody, left Everybody, right
Magan!
You want to tongue before we leave?
When I'm in the mood When I'm in the mood
I can make it weird like a one to ten
Will you marry me?
Yes! Yes!
I never really expected a lot of intimacy until I started getting it.
I was like, this feels nice. Like, I like to, like…
If we're sitting down, and just, like, a little… Like that.
-Yeah. -That's nice. Or, like, hand on the thigh.
I do like that.
You know?
I do think eye contact is very intimate.
Same.
I like a little cheek graze.
I like a little bit of kisses not on the lips.
-Yeah. -Like on the cheek or on the forehead.
Or like, you know, something cute like that.
Like an act of love, you know?
I like a good amount of, like, spontaneity.
Mm-hmm.
I definitely like to, like, try new things and keep things interesting.
Would you say that you would like to initiate,
or would you like your partner to initiate?
I think it does depend.
I definitely don't want it to be one way or the other
-all the time. -Mm-hmm.
I just think sex is really important in a marriage.
A lot of the time, it also can be, like, an indicator
of, like, how things are going.
-Yeah. -And if you're having sex regularly, like,
not that everything's fine,
but, like, I would say more, like, if you're not,
that's when, like, there is probably something, like, going on or an issue.
I agree.
As important as it is to, like, have conversations and check in,
I think it's also important to have sex.
Say it again
-Agreed. -Yeah.
Go ahead I know you
I know you want
I know you want to
I know you
You make your life intentionally complex. And I can simplify it.
-Like what? -Lose the luggage.
You gotta start carrying my shit. Why don't you bring a bigger bag?
I hate being in our apartment, but I also love being at home with you.
I feel like…
I need you too much right now, and that worries me.
I'm becoming too dependent on how you feel,
and we're literally sharing a brain cell at this point.
-The last one that we both have. -Yeah.
I do sometimes worry we spend too much time together.
'Cause even the times we could do things apart, we don't.
If you have an errand, I want to go with you.
So I just wonder if that would create too much codependency,
-which is something I'm working on. -Yeah.
-I don't think we spend enough time. -But I'm not happy went we don't.
-We don't spend enough together? -We could spend more together.
When? Maybe if you took less showers we could spend more time together.
I think I should just wait outside the bathroom door every time you pee.
I feel like you do.
I don't think I'm ever apart from you, other than when you're in the shower.
Yeah, I know.
I also am really starting to decide
that, like, I just think I'm not accepting
not being in each other's lives after this.
Not the unacceptance.
Like, whoever's in our lives has to accept that we're in each other's lives.
I just think it would be so crazy to develop
this close of a relationship with someone just to never speak again.
That sounds insane to me.
So, after this, potentially, we're all engaged to be married.
Slow your roll.
How long would you plan your wedding, then wait to have kids?
I want a really big wedding.
It's one of those once-in-a-lifetime things, hopefully.
Um…
I want it to be something that not only me and my partner remember,
-but, like, everyone remembers. You know? -Yeah.
It's super special.
I'd say at least a year.
-No. More than a year. At least a year. -At least a year?
-Probably two years. I don't know. -Okay.
From this experience, I've truly learned
that I never want to guarantee anything, 'cause it's so crazy
how much a small amount of time can change how you view things.
I totally agree, because you came in here ready to get married right now.
I know.
And so…
It's not that I'm not so ready to get married.
It's, like, more than ever, I doubt myself.
Am I good enough to be a good wife?
Absolutely. I think so.
Has your mind changed about anything?
I think that…
Um…
I'm more open to the idea of…
-possibly getting married. -Mm-hmm.
What at all has changed for you though?
If I really had someone who, like,
truly just understood me and saw me and heard me,
why wouldn't I want to be with them forever?
-So. -Yeah.
Yeah.
…scares me, scares me
The universe It scares me, scares me
I'm sorry.
We went out dancing, and… she was trying to kiss me,
and I was like, "I don't want to do that right now."
And then when we were about to leave,
she just walked up and started making out with me.
I could have stopped her. I didn't.
But I just didn't love how it went down, and it was just, you know, a mistake.
I just…
wasn't, like, comfortable…
making out.
And then that did happen, and it was fine. It was fun.
But I just, like, don't want anyone to get hurt.
I feel terrible about that.
And I really don't want you to.
I did not come in here with the intention
to, like, light shit up, and…
This is, like, a terrifying experience.
And…
I just feel a lot of, like, guilt.
It feels like everyone's like, "Why are you so okay with this?"
No, no, no, no, no.
-And I'm not! -I know you're not.
-I just feel stupid, you know? -Why?
Like I'm, like, losing myself, like, in this.
I just feel…
like, more guilt.
I'm like, "Am I not thinking of, like, Haley, like, enough?"
"Like, what am I doing?" Like…
That's not what I'm here for, is to, like forget her, you know?
I'm trying not to, you know, overthink things.
I'm trying to embrace what this is, and, like, be open.
-Sorry. -No, don't be sorry.
I don't want you to feel… stupid.
I just, like, don't know how to… proceed, really.
Yeah, me neither.
There's just a lot of feelings.
What, like, can stress me out is
if we're wanting two different things from this experience.
You know, I was trying to make it clear where my line was.
-Yeah. -I didn't feel like that was respected.
It takes two to tango.
I've been consistently respecting your boundaries,
and trying to check in and make sure a line isn't crossed.
Then it's like, "How did you feel about cuddling?"
You're like, "That's normal." And then… It's clearly, like…
You're feeling some type of way, or, like, you're thinking that I'm… wanting more,
trying some things, that I'm like, okay, then…
-Saying you're not trying something? -No.
Okay. I just think you're, like, extra… affectionate in your words,
and you just were saying a lot of things.
I was like, "Wait, what's going on?"
I know you express that, like, you like words of affirmation.
I'm gonna give them words of affirmation. You know, like…
So that's what you're doing?
I feel like I'm trying to, like, be… you know, just, like, show up for you.
-Playing the game or something? -Oh wow.
-Okay, like… -I mean, that's what you're saying.
Don't get it twisted. I dunno what you think I'm here to do.
If you think I'm trying to flirt with you or lead you on…
-Yeah.. -…or do something in the moment,
that's incredibly hurtful.
If you feel differently about this relationship than I do,
then I don't want to somehow…
-What, like, hurt my feelings? Yeah. No. -Yeah.
You think I'm in love with you. That's not how I feel about you either.
Like, I care for you.
I thought this was a mutual attraction thing.
Like, I am not trying to make you do something that you don't want to do.
I acted on impulse because I thought it was mutual.
You know, it's not like you haven't been giving anything,
and you're saying no, and like I came on to you.
Like, I feel like that's incredibly unfair to paint it that way, and that hurts me.
-I'm not saying that. -That's how you're making it out to be.
I can take the brunt if you don't want it to look some way,
-which is fine. -Oh my God.
Oh, in my…
I fight so violent
Come on. I know that it's not just you.
Like, obviously, I've been cuddling. We've been affectionate.
-Pretty sus on you now. I don't know. -Why? Like--
-I just… need a second to… -Okay.
…to myself.
Ugh.
Can we be done?
"Playing a game," I'm like… it's just an attack of my character.
Deny the truth
Avoid the blame
But he's clearly holding onto shame
I see right through
And from today
Your illusions are Your only claim to fame
You'll never change our only claim to fame