Shoulda seen it coming
Oh, look what you have done
Burned all the ground around you
What's left is done
But that's what happens When you play with fire
Fire
That's what happens When you play with fire
I wanna be alone with you
I just wanna be alone
I wanna be alone with you
I obviously feel terrible about, like, how things happened,
and I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable or like…
-You know? -Mm-hmm.
Where I'm frustrated and hurt is, like, I'm owning up
to my actions,
and you're not taking accountability for, like, any of your actions,
-and that's where I'm just… -Mm-hmm.
-Yeah. -Just hurt.
-I just-- -No, I… I hear you, and I understand,
and I do take accountability for what happened.
Giving mixed signals and stuff, that, like, wasn't you, you know?
That was me.
I thought I was communicating, like, this whole time,
and, like, making sure that we were on the same page,
and I think things were getting misinterpreted along the way.
I'm sorry. I was really hurt that you thought I was playing the game.
I've been with one person.
You feel like I'm some player or something.
This is just me just showing up, like, as a partner.
I fucked up in that way, and I'm sorry.
I, like, see you for who you are, and I think you're a really good person.
I've been, like, a shitty partner in this.
Conflict is, like, I'm realizing, hard for me.
Or, like, healthy conflict.
Yeah, you're very jabby,
-which I didn't expect from you. -I know. I'm sorry.
You're this like docile, gentle giant
that can cut out of nowhere.
-I'm like, what did that come from? -I know.
Growing up with sisters who are really mean, that's like…
In my family, we didn't, like, work things out ever.
Things were either just fine, or we'd get in little fights
and just, like, cut each other…
-and then get over it. -Sure.
Right. Right.
So, I'm learning how to have conversations like this
for the first time.
Yeah. No. This is great.
So… how do we move forward?
I feel like we can… like, start over.
Like, starting over but from, like, a better place, you know?
Yeah. All I've ever wanted was just
to, like, hear how you're really feeling
and open up and be vulnerable, and we're doing that work here,
and feel like I'm closer to you.
Thank you.
I just, like, I really appreciate the way that you're able to,
like, express yourself and also take the higher road.
That's really……inspiring.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
I feel like you still like…
Sorry, I don't know why I'm getting emotional.
I just really appreciate, like…
I know we don't know each other that well, but the fact that you see me
and don't think I'm a bad person.
No, exactly, I keep telling… That's why I keep telling you this.
I mean when I said you're so beautiful inside and out.
You don't know what you have to offer.
I want to bring that out of you
so that it's like you are so sure of, like, who you are
that, whatever you're going through, you can be confident
that your person will always choose you, and you're human.
-That's what love and marriage is about. -Yeah.
Don't be scared of changing something about you
because you're scared that person's gonna leave and think you're bad.
And if they think that, they're not your person!
Yeah.
Pilar made me feel safe
when we were dealing with a conflict like that.
I haven't really had that before.
Yeah. I don't know. It meant a lot to me.
Thank you.
It's okay.
' Cause I'm always all or nothing
But after all this time I still can't shake you
Okay.
Yeah, it's true
' Cause I'm always all or nothing
But after all this time I still can't shake you
You nervous?
-I'm nervous. They gonna grill me. -They won't.
I think they're gonna grill me.
Come here! Oh my God!
Hi!
-This is Haley. My trial wife. -Nice to meet you.
-AKA, my Trillie Willie. -Nice to meet you.
-Trillie Willie? -Yeah.
This is, like, the most surreal experience.
It's been insane.
So Dayna gave me an ultimatum.
We had to agree to, like, break up.
We spent the first week dating everybody.
So we went on, like, a date
and we literally had, like, everything in common.
The way that we do things is the same.
Everything we said, we'd be like, "That's how I feel."
The way we live, the way we think.
Our perspective on stuff is just all so similar,
and something in my gut was like, I know that this is what I need,
because I've never had this.
It just was a game-changer.
Holy hell. Okay.
-Do you mind me asking? -Ask whatever you want.
Who gave the Ultimatum on your end?
-I gave the Ultimatum on my end. -Okay.
Yeah. So…
I've been with my ex for ten years.
-Wow. -Ten years? Holy shit!
-Yeah. -Okay.
Me and my ex are total opposites in every way.
We would always just be like, that's the fun, we challenge each other.
Living with Magan, it's been a very different experience to not have
that baseline conflict.
We almost always are agreeing on the same thing right away.
Even things as simple as keeping the house a certain way.
Like, Magan will take the trash out
and I'll have the bag in and the trash put away by the time she's back.
It's just like we bounce off of each other in that way.
It's been so freakin' easy.
Even though we're similar, we're able to pick out the parts that it's like,
"Hey, this is something that I notice in myself that, like,
I think I could work on, and I think you could work on it too."
And we've talked a lot about sitting in the discomfort
of difficult conversations, and just because it's uncomfortable,
doesn't mean it's bad.
-That's been a very new concept for me. -Yeah.
I think she's great.
I'm super grateful to be going through this experience with her.
-She's all right. -She thinks I'm great.
-She's like, "She's fine." -I'm just kidding. That's great.
So, obviously your parents feel some type of way…
-Yeah. -…about your lifestyle.
If this worked out, do you think they'll come around,
or is it just gonna always be like a stick point for them?
Being in this environment with so many queer people,
that's, like, not even talked about.
It's not worth putting myself in a community
where I always feel I'm hiding or living two separate lives.
Once you're, like, starving for something for so long,
and then you feel like you're kinda getting a glimpse,
you just want to protect that.
There's moments where I'll stand up for myself to my parents.
But because I wasn't very secure with myself,
and I just had a lot of, like, uncertainty,
I never really, like, pulled through 100%.
With Haley and I, honestly, it's just so different.
I've always been around people who've been pushing me my whole life.
My exes, my mom, my coaches.
And this is the first time where, like, I don't feel pushed,
so I have the room to push myself.
-You guys don't normally see me like this. -Yeah.
-No, this is a very different Mag. -Yeah. Yeah.
Aw, shit.
-Opa! -Wow.
Thank you.
I want to give you guys the… that, like, Lebanese experience.
You can't eat this without garlic.
You guys are not sleeping next to each other tonight.
The way you guys look at each other, it's just, like, comfort.
-Nikki! Okay. -I'm just saying!
It's… you look comfortable.
You look at ease. And don't get me wrong.
-I've seen that with you and Dayna too. -Yeah.
-Is your ex masc? -Femme.
-Wow. -A femme couple.
Interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How is that different now dating a masculine lesbian?
In my relationship, I am the more dominant person.
-Interesting. -I'm the person that's, like,
the leader in holding hands.
We hold hands.
At one point she was like, "You gotta put your hand on the back."
And I was like, oh, okay!
Do you guys feel like, at the end of this, there's potential between you two?
It makes me feel like there could be potential there.
Guaranteed, I can never have Magan out of my life.
Same.
Welcome to the squad.
-Let's go! -I hope you're prepared for all of us.
I know you
I know you want
I know you want me too
I know you
I have never felt more alone.
But it's not your fault.
I didn't realize how much this process would not just rip off Band-Aids,
but… there are things…
…that I really thought that I healed from years ago.
I learned that I did not.
And…
I never had to because the person that I was processing it with
was literally living it with me.
And that person can't even look at me.
Mel's smile would have been enough.
I'm maybe a little resentful
that… you have that ability
to just have two conversations with Britney,
and I can't even walk by my person
who has seen ten years of ups and downs,
and she can pretend like she doesn't know me.
Should things go awry…
-Mm-hmm. -…I literally lose everything.
Mm-hmm.
I'm losing it.
I'm putting aside things with my ex.
I want you to try to do the same because it's more important
that we take this time very carefully now.
My main concern is my wife.
I care about you.
You just have to let me in.
There's a reason why you chose me too.
Yeah. I know.
I'm not here to hurt you.
I know. I never painted you as that.
I don't fault you for any of it.
Just envious, I guess.
We come from very different backgrounds.
-Mm. -I stopped talking to my mother.
And then she died.
People don't look at me and think, she's a victim of suicide, whatever.
People don't look at me and think that shit.
Mm.
"Oh, you only talk about your dad."
Yeah, I do.
"Oh, da-da-da…?"
Do you want to know?
I mean there's so much that comes with that, right? Like…
You never get over it.
It doesn't get easier.
I hid from that for years.
And that shit just creeps up
in all these spare moments that I have.
I'm angry.
I'm very angry. I'm a very angry person, deep down.
I am very angry at the world.
And I can't control that.
I think you're just in a place where you're finally having to deal with things
you haven't dealt with in so long.
You work three jobs. When do you have time to process?
I never had to.
I feel so fucking guarded.
It's okay.
You have every right to be.
I want you to trust me.
Lean on me when you don't feel like it's okay.
Like, if you want a hug, I would always give you a hug.
I want to feel at peace with myself.
And I don't know what that looks like.
Where do we go from here?
Realizing that there's nothing to fear
I'm sorry.
I just want you to trust me enough to lean on me.
We'll see.
Where do we go from here?
Realizing that there's nothing to fear
Let's enjoy this time
On this side of life
I notice you're very
happy.
Even if you vocalize, "I had a shitty day at work,
I'm about to have a mental breakdown." But you're still not sad.
Okay, was it that shitty? I can't tell.
You're like, "How do you actually feel?"
Yeah. I don't want you to feel like since I'm here, now you have to be happier
and not what you would do even if I wasn't here.
Yeah.
I do put on this… happy Marita face.
I just feel extremely selfless, like, almost in a bad way.
I don't pay attention to what I need
or how to make myself happy
because I make everybody else around me happy.
Mm.
I feel like it also kind of goes back to my childhood.
I'm the youngest of my family,
and there was a lot of turmoil in my family.
And I had to be the one with the positivity and the happy face
and make sure that everyone,
if they didn't have good relationships with each other,
they all could have good relationships with me
or I could mend an issue.
I have carried that into my adult life.
It's a weird place to be in.
Because I'm not trying to tell you don't be a people pleaser,
but I want you to put yourself first.
If you need to say no, say no.
Once you do, you're like, "Oh, this feels so good!"
"I actually did something for me and I'm not, like, spreading myself thin!"
-Yeah. -So…
Even with work, I feel like I owe everybody everything.
I'm not getting fulfilled in any type of way.
Economically.
Emotionally.
Physic-- Like, nothing from work.
But I feel like I owe them my best.
That sounds very similar to other things in your life.
-What do you mean? -You know exactly what I'm referring to.
I want you to stand up for yourself.
Know what you want. Demand what you want.
And like, and accept absolutely nothing less.
Don't feel like you have to suppress your feelings
for the comfort of somebody else.
Mm.
'Cause you feel how you feel.
-Yeah. -And you kind of have to develop that.
'Cause if not, your own peace is gonna suffer.
Wow.
I'm growing.
You are.
I'm done with the spiel.
I loved that. I needed to hear that.
-Should we watch Norbit now? -Yes.
Okay.
They know how to stop me and
Well, let's run it anyway Run it anyway
I tried to grow a palm tree in my backyard when I first moved here.
-Really? -Yeah, and it died.
I don't have a green thumb. Like, anything I plant dies.
Even my cactus. How do you kill a cactus?
That's concerning.
Should we take our shoes off?
Only if you want. Do whatever makes you happy.
Whatever makes me happy.
Hmm. That's loaded.
Why are you smiling?
I'm people watching.
I talked to my mom today.
Tell me about her. What should I know?
She's truly my best friend.
I feel like no one understands me as much as her because
I, like, am her in a weird way.
Your mom?
Yeah. But, like, part of saying that is, like, scary,
because I don't want to be dating around at her age.
I want to have love and a family and…
I don't want to devalue relationships the way that she has.
And I feel like if I keep getting let down, I will become like that.
So I don't want to keep putting myself in a position to be let down.
That was deep.
I don't know. Most people are like,
"My parents had a great marriage. I want the same thing."
I never had that.
I had to decide how I wanted to create my vision of marriage on my own.
And I feel like you just don't have the, like…
will to do the same, but I think you want the same things that I want.
Don't bring me into this.
You just haven't sat down and been like,
"How can I have something that I want? In my way, though?"
It's not that at all, actually.
I just…
I don't know, bro. It's…
Okay.
I don't know what you want me to… offer you.
I'm an Ultimatum giver, you're an Ultimatum receiver.
Like, that's just to start it off.
And then, I think, like, family isn't your priority,
nor is, like, children.
I want to know you're open-minded to the things that I want and need
and believe in as much as if I'm willing
to open my mind to the things you believe and want.
-But you're not, at the same time. -I'm not?
Okay. How am I not?
If you're talking kids, you're not.
You're trying to have me come to where you're at.
I think that you don't actually not want the things you say you don't want,
you just are scared.
Makes me sad, though.
Um…
Growing up, let's say like 14, 15, I was always, like, weird around kids.
I didn't like holding babies.
People show me pictures of babies, and I'm just like, eh, you know, whatever.
-Like, "Okay, next." -Oh my God.
And then when I was 16,
and I got diagnosed with everything I got diagnosed with,
they told me I couldn't have kids.
And that… if I tried to carry,
I would die or it would die, like… one of us wouldn't make it out.
And so I kind of thought to myself,
"Well, I didn't really want this anyway, so… what does it really matter to me?"
Does your ex know this?
-Nobody knows it, Dayna. -Oh my God.
Why have you never told her?
She's never hounded me for kids, that's the thing.
I just know she wants it.
She's nurturing, she's caring.
She was one of those people born to be a mother.
-You could just feel it. -Yeah.
So she's never pressed me,
but I know that I would be doing a disservice to her…
-Oh, God. -…if we were together forever
and we didn't have kids.
You're so lucky you're gay.
Because you have another woman to carry!
You got, like, two bodies instead of one like everyone else!
I want you to have optimism,
'cause you deserve to, like, have the things you want.
You might wanna rush But I will take my time
I love how he's already made this place home.
I know. Do you think I love him more than I would love the person I'm dating?
I don't think I should answer that question.
She's jealous of you.
Yeah, I think you know that I think you're also fine
-Let me get your sauces out. -Thanks, wifey.
Careful!
-So-- -Don't make Wendy squirt.
-Okay, that's so… -Not making her… cream.
Stop it! I know.
God, they can't put two lesbians together for five minutes!
No, for real, five minutes!
-Here you go. -Thank you, wifey.
You handed me a fork.
That was so sweet.
You say I think you got the soul in the…
-Did you just break the pasta? -You saw what I did.
Don't bunch your panties in a twist.
Ah!
Relax.
You're not allowed to make dinner anymore!
I'm that good I'm that good
What did I just see?
Dayna, you're naked, bro!
Baby is too fine Keep on running after me
I'mma let you be mine
Maybe I might
You want popcorn?
Let you be mine
Tonight, tonight, tonight
Bet you were the type Who gets it how they like
You sleeping on the couch tonight?
Yeah. I just, like, want to be intentional.
I think we both have our boundaries.
-Yeah. We've been explicit about that. -But… Yeah.
I feel like it's the right choice.
-I agree. I think we're on the same page. -Mm-hmm.
I love that.
You're the one who could be the one
You could, you could, you could Be the one that I'm looking for
-Okay, you gotta make it wet. -Yeah.
You get the mound wet
and then stick your palms in the side.
-Turn it on. Yeah. -That's what she said.
You know, like, at hibachi, the tower of onions that they make,
that's what yours looks like right now.
That's kind of rude. You need to be better at giving compliments.
-That's just… We're not-- -I'm sorry. It's beautiful, sweetheart.
Thank you.
You're the best pot maker I've ever seen.
-Or flower pot maker. -That's right. That's more like it.
-Thank you so much. -You're welcome.
I think that mine's fantastic.
Yours looks incredible.
That's a work of art.
Are you gonna keep it forever?
-You better. -That's for me?
-Yeah! I don't know what I made you. -Wow! Thank you.
It's a little plate that you can use for whatever you want.
You want me to come help you?
Yeah! What do I do?
-Let me show you. -It's our time to shine.
Oh yeah. You're messing up my bowl!
You have to center it a little bit.
You're making it off-centered.
Forward and on top. Yeah. There you go.
There, look at it go!
And push in, and then see how it goes up?
Now you can kinda go like that, and then just smoothly take it up together.
But you want it to just be your hands going like that.
Put your fingers… perfect.
You want some extra clay?
That's so dry.
I don't know how Ashley feels, but I feel like
this is kind of a breakthrough in our relationship
in that it just felt like we were only thinking about each other.
I feel like Bridget is being a little flirty.
I feel like tonight, she's been looking at me different and stuff.
I want to just embrace this relationship and explore it.
I think it's, like, cute, and it makes me feel, like, good inside.
She's doing it more often, like, way more often.
So, I don't know.
We'll see what happens.
I think it's fun for me to just, like, see how when you put your finger somewhere,
it moves it.
I think we both know Where your head's at tonight
She's in your heart But it's me on your mind
Show me what you mean 'Cause I can't hear what you say
But hold on
I got something for you.
I hope you know that it's up to you
Did I hit you?
It just splashed in my face.
Don't need to know my name I could be the perfect stranger
Let's have a night we don't remember
Feel me Want you to need me
Feel me
Need you to see me
But in the morning when you call her
She's gonna know that something's up
-That watermelon salad looks bomb. -Bomb.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
-Actually, I want that one. -You do?
-You like that one better? -Yeah. Sorry.
Anyways. Okay.
I'm just in a silly, goofy mood.
Silly, goofy.
Goofy, silly. I'm joking.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's crazy to think we're halfway done with this.
I couldn't imagine doing it with anybody else.
I feel like we just found so much comfort with each other,
and I think we were so surprised of the depth of our connection.
-Clearly, like, there's something here. -Yeah.
You know, clearly some lines are getting blurry.
Yeah. I do think, like, a door did open of connecting sexually.
When we did connect physically,
I feel like it did help us get, like, deeper…
-Yeah. -…because there is
this aspect of vulnerability,
when it does come to sex, it just opens another part of you that…
we're just learning together.
I do think we could have gone through this experience and not done it.
-Yeah. -I think we would've left with regret.
I think so too.
I'm here to have an authentic relationship with Haley.
I'm here to have an authentic relationship with Dayna.
And I think it's important to be vulnerable.
Haley and I hooking up, it was definitely more than just kissing.
We hooked up, all the way,
and it's something that we don't regret.
-It's a crazy experience. -Yeah.
It's just scary to me
because it's so different than what I have with Dayna.
It's almost, like, incomparable.
They're just two completely… separate things.
I feel like I learned a lot with you.
Me too.
It's kind of sad.
-Don't be sad. You're gonna make me sad. -I know, I'm just kinda sad.
-I just feel like my whole life changed. -Agreed.
This is sparking something new that I've never had.
I feel like I chose myself choosing you.
Sorry.
No.
-What are you doing? -I'm doing…
How to live things Late at night
Everything about you Light up all around you
Show 'em how to shine Just like you know
You looking like gold
Hi.
This is Mel.
-Hi! How are you? -Lovely to meet you.
Good. Good.
It's so lovely to meet you.
Are you having fun?
-Uh, I am now. -Good. Good.
So what's going on?
-We want all the drama. -Um… Yes.
She wants the drama. I just want to know the good stuff.
So Dayna and I are in a trial marriage.
I think it's going pretty well.
-That's really good. -Right?
We're so similar.
Like, she's spicy like me,
and hard-headed like me, and stubborn like me.
Well, at least we didn't have to say it.
You already know.
-Yeah. -Did you know
she beats people up in her sleep?
She'll, like, put her arm around me, and I go to, like, reach for her arm,
and then she'll like hit me away like, uh-uh! And I'm like, "Girl, what?"
-Yeah. -That's her personality.
-You're like that too. -She gets hot and cold, I think.
-She gets colder moods, then she gets hot. -She came to me. I was fine where I was.
So my whole personality is, "Come here, go away"?
-Yeah. -How much longer do you have together?
-This is our two-week anniversary. -Oh!
One more week, and then we literally won't speak.
She's been my whole life and support system for two weeks.
My world revolves around her every day.
You know I've been close to very few people in my life,
and with Mel, the way that I was able to get so close to her so fast
is still mind-blowing to me.
Talking about my emotions, you know I hate that shit.
So scary to think that she's just gonna be gone from me for the rest of this time…
You guys are going to be back with your other safe places.
-What if it's not the same? -You aren't going to be separated then…
It's not going to be the same!
You've learned to need this person.
-We're all different than three weeks ago. -I know. It's not going to be the same.
Dayna became a different person when she started dating Magan.
She was definitely, in her older teens, younger twenties,
like, more aggressive, more just kind of--
More than this?
Yes.
When she started dating Magan, she got a new vibe to her.
Like, she was just a lot happier.
Yeah.
Softer.
Magan has really made her a better person, I think.
I mean, I love Magan.
I love her too.
Yeah.
If you're ready for the next step,
and I know you guys love each other,
then… I mean, you have to figure that out.
Yeah.
-In the rearview mirror -Mirror
Checking all my nightmares Thinking they're in…
In the rearview mirror
My mom and my sister's opinion is very important to me.
Magan brought so much to my life. I haven't spoken to her in two weeks.
I was like, "My God, what's going on with her? Is she okay?"
I just couldn't take it anymore, and I call her…
In the rearview mirror
How can you talk to me like this?
What did I do?
Magan, please just tell me.
How can you say that?
I don't even know who I'm talking to right now.
How could you do this to me?
You're treating me like I'm nothing.
Who are you? Because you're not the person
that I came here with, and I thought I was going to marry you.
I'm going back to Michigan.
My whole world is upside down right now, and I don't understand.
I just don't understand how like… you're my person!
I would never abandon you, you are so bullshit to even say that.
You're treating me like I'm nothing.
I'm so disappointed in you too.
I still love you.
I don't think I've ever fallen apart like that.
I've never needed anyone like that in my life.
And she just didn't care.
It's the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life.
What happened?
She literally told me to fuck off.
What was her reason?
She said, "I do not care about you. I'm done."
"Go home if that's what you want. I don't give a fuck."
"Stop calling me or you're getting blocked."
I'm telling you, Magan has never spoken to me--
I literally do not believe that this is her.
Now I can't breathe. I cannot breathe.
I feel like I'm going to die right now.
I'm with my girls
Tonight I'm in my zone I'm with my girls
Yeah, we're here alone
Why do I feel so small?
-You've been shrinking! -You're not small!
-Hi! -Hi, guys.
-Hey! -Hi.
-What's up? -Okay. Whatever. That was awkward.
How's Bentley?
Ah, so good. So cute.
Ashley's mad because he cuddles with me more than he does with her.
-Nuh-uh! Don't tell me that. -Yeah. Oh, sorry.
-Bridget! -Dogs love me.
-Hey! -Ah!
-What's up, guys? How are you? -Hi.
Good. How are you?
Good. Good.
-Hi, Magan. How are you? My God. -How are you?
Cool. Glad you're here.
So we're all brought here by our exes.
Yeah. We were all issued the Ultimatum.
Yeah, I feel like I really just realized this today,
but having a wife as a femme,
which I never considered or thought, because I need to be the femme.
Anyways, um, she'll do my lip liner and I'm like, okay, this is hot.
Do you guys feel like you have like an emotional connection?
I would say for me, I think the emotional connection
comes from, like, what I'm looking for.
She makes me feel like I am her wife.
-Like I'm there. -I love that.
Like, I am always going to be her first priority.
I'm not saying Ashley doesn't do that, but she needs to do more of that.
-Mm-hmm. -Which I don't think should be an issue.
-Mm-hmm. -Britney is more attentive.
I hope whatever she's learned from you, Marita,
that she can put back into, like, us,
because that could be, like, the it factor for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
I like the way You look at me so endlessly
You comfort me
Thank you.
This is wild.
Wild.
How you doing?
I don't even know anymore.
Sometimes I just don't know if I'm losing my shit.
-Oh no. -All of us resonate
-because we're the Ultimatum givers. -Right? We all do.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
It's just like, why am I not good enough? That's how I feel.
It's not that. You're good enough in your own way.
It is, and I know exactly what she expects.
-It is top-freaking-tier. -Top-tier.
No, I'm not even kidding. It really is.
It is a lot, but for some reason,
the way I naturally show up for my partner, like, it's not a lot.
-Because I just genuinely want to do that. -Yeah.
I'm not saying you guys don't belong together,
but either it's going to take a lot of work or just…
They're going to be like, "I'm settling." You have to meet in the middle.
Yeah.
How are you guys? Oh my gosh.
Like, how's your life? How's it going?
It was really hard the first week.
AJ wasn't exactly feeling the same things I was. Right? Like…
How so?
I was not speaking to my ex, Mel.
But… you guys were talking.
And that was really hard. It was a hard pill to swallow.
AJ made a commitment to you in this experience,
like we all did for somebody here,
to be your support system in this with you.
And you were robbed of that.
-She robbed you? -You deserved so much better than that.
Than AJ?
She wasn't supportive even though you were living two different struggles, I guess?
How can you be supportive if we're living different struggles?
It was a very lonely road at first.
-I had to find myself very quickly. -Yeah.
And, literally, I lost my shit doing it.
I so get it.
I'm sure I wouldn't be as scared if I was your ex.
And you're with Marita.
You are probably just going to be best friends and have a great time.
Whereas, like, being Marie?
Like I get it. There's more there to be threatened by.
And that's so uncomfy and so, like, terrible of a feeling.
Mel is truly amazing. I will never, ever not love that girl.
I don't know how real any of your guys' experiences have been,
but mine has been very real.
But, like, that's the whole point.
We're supposed to truly figure out if this is somebody we want to be with,
-and do they want to be with us back? -Yeah.
We're all in agreement on that for sure. That's the point of this process.
We're all here because we issued an Ultimatum.
And we all agreed to this. No one forced any of you guys to do this.
I feel like I'm getting more and more ready.
-Mm-hmm. -So almost yes.
My biggest fear is that Haley realizes that, like, it's not us.
I feel like I can really obsess with, like, what is my ex-partner doing?
Is she falling in love? Did I wait too long?
Yeah, it's hard.
I want you to know that I respect you.
I would never do anything to hurt you.
It's hard not to spiral.
What has everybody liked and disliked the most about their trial marriage?
There was a time where Marie, she was having a really hard time, in…
like, getting over… Mel.
That was hard to watch her go through.
I think it was just acknowledgement.
What do you mean? Like, me not acknowledging her?
-Mm-hmm. -Doing what I'm supposed to do?
We saw you at the pool.
If I see any one of y'all, I say…
We don't need to have a five-minute conversation.
-I had the same experience. -But yeah, just saying hi.
That's hard.
Especially for somebody you've known for ten years.
Like, I could never imagine that.
Because she went through two weeks of hell and could not focus on our relationship.
It took her literally three days ago to turn shit around.
For me, when I see Dayna, and she can't even, like, look at me…
I didn't come here to run off in the sunset with anybody else.
I came here to supplement my own relationship.
Damn, I can't even get a hello. That really hurts.
If my partner can't acknowledge me, I'm not going to sit there
and run after this person like a puppy dog.
I'm going to create space, because I can't rely on you.
I have to learn how to rely on myself.
I don't think you should continuously punish her.
I'm not punishing her. I'm just creating my own space.
-If she needs you, are you always there? -Yes.
Every time?
I mean, I don't think anyone's perfect.
If my partner reaches out to me hysterically and needs me, I'm there.
'If my partner says, "I need you, you're the only person I need,
-this is what I want, nobody else…" -I'd be there in a second.
…I'd be there in a second. I would answer every call.
I wouldn't tell her not to call me again.
Between yesterday, I think you guys have punished each other enough.
What happened yesterday?
-What… I… Never mind. -No, I mean…
Yeah, I don't want to get into it a lot.
I feel like I've been hurt a lot.
Would you like to talk to me?
Like, privately? I would like to talk to you.
-Yeah. -Okay. Come on.
That was intense.
Broken
That affects everyone here.
You left me in the darkness
How have you been?
-It's been a lot. -Yeah?
I didn't even realize how bad I am at talking about my own feelings.
But what I've seen in Magan is that she's very open
about talking about her feelings.
And it does make me feel very comfortable to, like, share how I'm feeling.
It has felt very intimate.
Magan and I have been having an emotional experience.
My hope is that me and Pilar, we can have our work
that we've done on ourselves, come together and, like, mesh.
But I recognize that the other option is that
the work we've been doing on ourselves will push us apart.
I think she's fully recognizing that and being like,
"I have not been showing up for Haley."
"I've been putting my needs first and fully neglecting her."
That's something that she's realizing.
So I'm just encouraging her to like… You guys will have your time together…
It's terrifying. It's very scary. It's a risk.
Now that I have decided to go all in, it is a big question mark
because I'm not saying, like, I'm 100% confident
where I'm coming out of this at the end.
I think Magan will always be in my life just because she's had
-such a profound impact on me. -Mm-hmm.
I just never could have imagined
that's what I was gonna get out of this experience.
To be perfectly honest, as an Ultimatum giver,
was not what I was expecting.
Um…
This shit is just so hard.
I didn't expect any of the things that have happened to happen.
I feel like I've just cracked.
I almost left last night, to be honest.
I don't know that I have a future with Magan.
-Why do you say that? -Yeah, I was gonna say why?
Um, well, we spoke.
She actually just simply didn't give a fuck that I exist.
Magan knows how much it takes for me to, like, ask for help…
or, like, fall apart. I don't do that shit. Um…
And, like, knowing that she is, like, who she is to me,
to, like, tell me that she just doesn't care,
I don't recognize the person I came here with.
I feel like Pilar is feeling similarly.
If Pilar is feeling some kind of way about the way that I'm acting,
I have put my feelings aside for a long time.
I don't want to be a tyrant to Pilar after this,
but I just want to meet in the middle a bit more.
But, Dayna, I think that this is just how Magan wants to deal with it.
I know that you guys had a conversation.
I was not present for it, I didn't hear.
See, I don't believe that though.
I am telling you, I have known this girl my whole life.
I did not recognize this person.
I literally was like, is this Magan?
Like, I genuinely… I misread you,
and I'm a little confused on your intentions.
Why is Magan, like, fueled by anger?
From what Magan's been hearing,
you've been taking the experience very seriously.
-Mm-hmm. -The fact you haven't been speaking,
I think that neither of you were assuming good intent from the other.
I'm sad that she's just going in an opposite direction.
I don't think it's fair to say she's reverting.
She's done so much work.
She is resenting me and hating me.
Is that your own brain playing tricks on you?
No, I talked to her and then she confirmed everything I said.
She was like, "Go home. Have a safe flight."
I'm sorry, Haley, but what has she learned?
Because she's actually, like, digressed, in my opinion.
She's making a ton of growth.
It just might not be the growth that you're expecting.
Speaking as her trial wife,
Dayna and I are very similar in a lot of things.
And that's why we chose each other.
What she explains to me is that she's there for you a lot,
and you are always her person.
She loves you, she relies on you, she needs you.
And I know that she felt yesterday,
she really needed you, and you didn't show up.
But there's a difference, and I want you to understand what the difference is,
because it's important.
When I feel like I need help, I will ask for help.
-You know she doesn't do that. -She doesn't.
She didn't initiate a conversation saying, "I'm going through a really tough time,
I need you to show up for me. I don't know what to do."
It's, "I'm breaking up with you,
I'm going home, this isn't for me, I don't want to marry you."
It's like, why would I even think that you would need me in this time
when you're just telling me this?
Who in their right mind would think that?
You know her though.
Yeah, but here's the thing,
just because I know, doesn't mean I'm going to enable it.
-You're being extra. -No, I'm not.
-Personally, that's how I feel. -But that's your opinion.
-Do you show patience, understanding? -Yes.
Are you sure? Because I don't think so.
She's so scared that, like, well, something's going on with Haley.
-She's freaking out. -Who wouldn't be scared?
I'm doing my own thing with my trial partner.
But are you willing to let it all go
just because you can't communicate on the same level?
Are you willing to work on that during your three weeks?
It depends on Dayna's growth.
I mean, honestly, from yesterday's conversation…
It put a really bad taste in my mouth.
…what she's saying, I'm trying to figure a way to meet in the middle or not.
-Ah, God. -No, I know.
-Do you want to talk? -Do you want to talk?
-I think we should. Right? -Oh God.
It's funny how much you feel like you know somebody
from hearing about them from an ex.
I want to make sure you're okay.
The fact that you're asking me if I'm okay right now, that's crazy.
There's obviously a lot of reservations that you and Mel ended up together.
Surface level, like, you and Mel are hot.
I don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Me and Mel were transparent that we do have a connection,
that, like, we do have an attraction.
We were very transparent from day one about that.
But I also, I feel like, expect you to, as our partners,
to give us some, like…
Give us a little bit of fucking trust or benefit of the doubt, goddamn.
Is that what you're doing with Magan right now?
Giving her the benefit of the doubt?
I was this entire experience until I spoke to her.
No benefit. I heard it from the horse's mouth.
It, like, physically tears my life apart.
Magan, she's my whole existence and, like, being.
But I can't live without Mel either.
So I don't really know what to do, and I know it sounds so selfish…
Do you guys like each other?
There's feelings there.
Whatever capacity it is, I just need her in my life.
-Um, I haven't had, like… -Really?
…the safe space that she's given me in so long.
She is just so there.
I don't even know how to, like, ever repay her.
If she comes back and says, "I'm in love with Dayna,"
okay. I can't do anything about that.
Yeah, that hurts and stings. Maybe that isn't the case. I don't know.
But that's not a conversation you and I are going to have.
Oh…
Okay, yeah, I mean, that makes sense, but…
-Hi, pals. -Yeah.
Hi.
Do you want to talk?
How are you? You okay?
Yeah, actually, I would regret not saying this to you.
I don't know if I'll have another opportunity.
Jesus Christ. Okay.
I'm just not trusting where Dayna and Mel are at.
Why?
I… have heard things.
What have you heard?
Just like… I don't know, it's hard because…
-I feel like now we're… -Just say it. Just say it.
I've heard that they've been much more romantically involved
than they're, like, letting on.
There's lots of receipts.
Not from me.
Anything that anybody does is going to come to light,
no matter what it is.
There's something in the darkness
Hiding in the heartless now
I'm, like, shaking.
X is where we mark this
Watch it while it all burns down
I… I'm going to, like… Hm.
I don't really know how to take that right now.
-I'm sorry. -Don't be sorry.
How do you sleep at night?
I… genuinely, I think you deserve better.
Secrets, secrets What have you done?
Secrets, secrets Three, two, one
-Hey. -Hi.
How are you?
Fucking peachy, darling.
I can tell, you need a hug. You look…
-Very angry. But… -Yeah.
Um…
Haley came up to me…
And she basically told me that she has proof
that Mel and Dayna are fucking.
And this is, mind you, like, the last five minutes.
And I'm really angry.
Yeah.
The fact that I can…
feel the way that I felt…
while she's playing house.
Hm.
Fuck that.
On the edge of it all
And the fact that Dayna sat next to me…
On the edge of it all
Who will fall?
Am I an idiot?
How did I not, like…
Mm. Well, we're going to find out.
Because I'm literally not going to bed tonight without talking to Mel.
I'm not.
I'm not sitting on this.
I need to know. Like, immediately.
You have every right.
Go get your answers.
On the edge of it all
I will literally fucking go on every single floor screaming her name.
I will find her ass.
Because that's bullshit.
On the edge of it all
Who will fall?
Go, go
Go
Is it everyone or just me?
Go, go
Go
Is it everyone or just me?