-[drumbeat] -[suspenseful ticking]
-[soft whistling] -[shower curtain rattles]
[Handler] Back so soon?
How disappointing.
[Handler gasps]
-[wheels rattling] -[man 1] I'm asking out Sharon tonight.
-[man 2] Sharon from Payroll? -[man 1] No, Sharon from Janitorial.
-[man 2] Ahh. -[man 1] I like her smile.
Plus, my apartment's a disaster.
-[chuckles] Yeah. -How many pickups we got?
-Two. -Good, 'cause I am starving.
-Oh, you're starving? -[man 2] I am starving.
Fried wontons at Mama Lee's when we're done?
Eh...
-What? -I just...
It's too much MSG.
-Oh, you bought the propaganda. -Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with MSG, my friend.
-All right, you ready? On three. -Yep.
[both] One, two...
-[man 1] Aah! -[man 2] What?
She moved a bit.
[chuckles] No, no, no, no, no.
No, it... it says right here, she's dead.
-It's probably just intestinal gas. -[Handler moans]
I had one last week that farted all the way into the oven. It's...
[men groaning]
[rasping] Get me to a hospital.
Don't think that was intestinal gas.
[whispers] Oh, shit.
[man 1] You can probably kiss those wontons goodbye.
[Perry Como's "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" plays]
-♪ ...Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪ -[people whispering]
♪ Put 'em together And what have you got? ♪
[woman] Ah, shit. The Handler's back.
[overlapping whispers]
♪ If you're chased around by trouble ♪
♪ And you're followed by a jinx ♪
♪ I'll jinx your trouble And trouble your jinx ♪
♪ In less than 40 winks ♪
♪ Salagadoola mechicka boola ♪
♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪
♪ Put 'em together And what have you got? ♪
-♪ Oh, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪ -[whoosh, metallic thunk]
♪ "Salagadoola" means... ♪
-[man] Uh-oh. -[woman 1] She's back.
-[woman 2] The Handler? -[woman 1] She's back.
-[phones ringing] -[typewriters clacking]
♪ ...Is bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪
♪ Salagadoola mechicka boola ♪
♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪
♪ Put 'em together And what have you got? ♪
-♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi ♪ -♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi ♪
♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi... ♪
AJ.
[AJ, over speaker] Welcome back.
♪ Boo! ♪
And let me say,
your recovery has been an inspiration to us all.
Well... [chuckles]
...if it wasn't for this metal plate in my head from the Shanghai job,
I don't think I'd be here. [laughs]
I didn't expect to see you until the board...
-[case clicks] -...meeting.
What's going on?
Um, during your rehabilitation, certain management changes were made,
unavoidable departmental reorganizations.
-I'm sorry to say-- -You're not firing me.
-[AJ] Of course not. -Oh, thank God.
-We would never dream of it. However... -[lighter clicks]
[gulping]
[coughs, sputters]
...you will be demoted.
What?
Due to your long-standing commitment to the Commission,
you'll keep your benefits package and parking...
uh...
-in lot C. -Lot C?
Look, if I'm completely honest,
you've always had a problem with authority.
This is about my last file, isn't it?
Hazel and Cha-Cha screwed the pooch on that one, not me,
and don't even get me started on Number Five,
the depth of whose betrayal served as powerful motivation
in waking me from my coma,
and all the way through my long, tedious,
painful recovery back to this office.
[AJ] It's not just one thing.
Remember that whole 743 incident?
Be happy you're still employed.
Give me two days.
AJ, give me two freaking days. I will make this right.
The task has already been reassigned.
-[intercom clicks] -Send him in.
Herb?
You're sending him after Five?
[AJ] Don't be ridiculous.
We've already sent operatives into the field.
Herb is your new...
supervisor.
[Handler laughs]
Oh, this... this is a joke, right?
I've dropped turds bigger than Herb.
Someone needs fiber.
[chortling]
[AJ] Please show the Handler to her new desk.
I took a bullet in the head for this company.
And we thank you for your service.
[gulps]
[typewriters clacking]
[Herb] Home sweet home.
[typing stops]
[man gulps loudly]
[typing resumes]
Oh, um...
uh...
your desk is... over there.
[thudding]
[clears throat] If you need anything, my desk is...
over here.
[scurrying footsteps]
Today is Polynesian day in the cafeteria.
Wanna join me for some lau lau?
Ask me again, I'll staple your face to the wall.
[clears throat] Okay.
-[shrieks] -[Herb] Ow!
-[typing stops] -[gasps]
-[sultry big band jazz playing] -[men whistling]
The hell is wrong with you, Luther?
I just told you the world's gonna end in ten days.
Yeah, well, you're always saying that.
And so far, I've been right.
Look, you want to go save the world?
Knock yourself out. All right? I already got a job.
Wait, you work in this shithole?
Yeah. Well, my boss owns the place.
I'm his body man.
What's that? Like a masseuse or something?
Okay, you can make fun all you want, but I take good care of Mr. Ruby.
[Five] Wait, Ruby.
The Jack Ruby, the gangster who shot Oswald?
Yeah, the one and only.
[Five] Well, it finally happened.
That gorilla DNA has taken over your mind.
Hey, watch it, all right? Jack's a good friend.
And you're Number One.
Número Uno. Remember?
There is no Number One.
Not anymore.
Not in 1963.
Look, I've been stranded here alone for a year.
-What did you expect? -I get it, all right?
You watched Pogo die, the world exploded,
and I marooned your big dumb ass in time.
I'm sorry, okay?
[sighs] But I'm asking for your help, Luther.
-The Umbrella Academy needs you. -[scoffs softly] It doesn't need me.
It never did.
Luther, honey, Jack's about to lose it on some half-wit.
-A little help? -Ah, shit.
-Luther, wait. -Listen.
You're the genius who said we should jump. Right?
You're the one who got us stuck here.
And you're the one who brought Vanya.
So if there is a doomsday coming, she's probably the cause.
And if I was gonna do something about it, it sure as hell is not gonna be with you.
[Carl] The Bolsheviks are here.
They're living among us, okay?
And they're ready.
They're ready to steer America down the long road towards communism.
We're better than them.
[Luther] Come on, buddy, let's go.
[Carl] Get your hands off me.
-[grunts] -[men laughing]
Get him out of here, now.
[Carl grunts]
Get off me. Get off me!
Get your big arms off me.
Dad should've left him on the moon.
[cloth tearing]
[machine-gun fire]
My keys, have you seen them?
No.
[Sissy sighs]
-Is everything okay? -[Sissy] Yeah, it's just...
Carl needs a ride home. [sighs]
From the office?
From the bar.
He just called from a pay phone, drunk as a skunk.
I'm sorry.
[sighs] Any luck?
Someone find you yet?
Nothing.
-[Harlan grunts softly] -I-- Oh.
Oh, no, no, sweetie. I have to go out,
-but Vanya can read it-- -[Harlan] Mmm!
Harlan. Harlan, come on.
-Let's go back to bed. -[Sissy] Harlan? Harlan, honey...
Harlan, honey...
-I'll go get Carl. -[Harlan] Mmm!
-Really? Are you sure? -Yeah.
And you can stay and read to Harlan.
I got this.
[exhales sharply]
-Don't take this wrong, but... [sighs] -[keys jangle]
...I wish I'd run you over years ago.
All right, baby, come on.
[police siren wailing]
[Diego] This way.
[dog barks in distance]
All right, we can't stay here too long.
They're gonna be looking for us.
The cops or those large Scandinavian fellas
-with guns? -Both.
What are you doing?
[Diego] I'm not gonna get very far dressed like a lobotomy case.
[Lila] You mean we won't get very far.
[sighs] Look, I appreciate your help... [grunts]
...but now, we-- Oh.
-Now we go our separate ways. -Why?
Because they're gonna be looking for us.
Together.
We stand a better chance on our own.
You need me. We make a good team.
[Diego] Mm-mm. Too dangerous.
You didn't think so back in the fun house when I saved your ass, or did you forget?
-[police siren approaching] -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[siren winds down, goes silent]
[softly] Your fly's undone.
-Gotcha. -What is wrong with you?
[siren resumes wailing]
Come on, we'll take my car.
[Diego] What car?
This one.
Hey.
-[electricity crackles, engine starts] -[giggles]
What? You don't like the color?
[loudly] Stop being a princess and get in!
-[Diego] Shh! -[dogs barking nearby]
[Diego] You know the other window was open, right?
[muted jazz playing]
[Vanya] Jesus, Carl.
You're a mess. [grunts]
Sissy mad at me?
I wouldn't exactly say she's happy.
She tell you that? Or you just...
speculating?
You lied to her, Carl.
You said you were going to work, and you came here.
[car door opens]
-[Vanya] Okay, get inside. -She still love me?
Of course she does.
You're lucky, you know that?
You got a blank slate.
Start over.
Be anyone you want.
The rest of us are stuck with who we are.
[big band jazz playing]
[men whistling]
[men chattering, laughing]
[passing car honking]
[car door opens]
Vanya.
[car engine starts]
[male narrator on TV] Since the dawn of time,
mankind has been asking the same age-old question...
[woman on TV] Do blondes have more fun?
[male narrator] With Sun Ray hair dye, the answer is "Yes!"
-[bang on door] -[both gasp]
[loud bang]
Dallas police! Hands in the air!
-Get your hands behind your head. -Drop the weapon!
Allison, put it down! Allison, put the bat down.
[bat clatters]
-Raymond Chestnut, you're under arrest. -No! Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
-Come on! -What's the charge?
Assault and battery.
Officer, that's ridiculous.
You don't remember? You beat a man without provocation at Odessa's.
No! No, no, no, no, that was me!
-I... I did that in self-defense! -He was threatening us! Aah!
No, please, stop it. [gasping]
You can't do this.
-I heard-- -Back up. Back up right now
-or you're going with him. -Allison.
[officer] I said back up.
-[Ray] Allison, baby, let it go. -I heard a rumor. [echoing]
Allison. Allison, baby, it's okay. Baby, I love you.
It's okay. I'm fine. I'm gonna be okay!
Do we have a problem here?
No.
Officer.
[breath trembling, gasping]
[car door opens, shuts]
[police siren wailing]
[siren fading in distance]
[engine starts]
[Five] Elliott, did you develop these photos yourself?
[Elliott] Of course.
Can't exactly drop that stuff off at the neighborhood Fotomat.
Government has eyes everywhere.
I didn't see a darkroom.
-Yeah, I converted the hallway closet. -[squealing feedback]
Can you develop this?
[Elliott] Hmm?
Huh. "Frankel Footage." Friends of yours?
Cousins on my robot mother's side.
-Can you do it or not? -[Elliott] Sure I can.
How long?
Well, I mean, I'm running low on acetic acid.
Beeker's Cameras is open today, but it's two miles away.
I mean, I'd have to take the bus.
On the other hand, Gibson's is only ten blocks away,
but I gotta cut through the park, and there's pigeons--
-Elliott. -It's like five, maybe six hours.
[man over radio] Attention all units, we have a code 3-15
at the Holbrook Sanitarium.
The hell is a code 3-15?
Mmm, fugitives on the run.
[man] Twenty-five patients still at large.
Many are considered armed and dangerous.
-[whispers] Oh, Diego. -Oh, who's Diego?
Imagine Batman, then aim lower.
-[radio chatter continues indistinctly] -You get started on that film.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
[The Genies' "Who's That Knockin'" playing]
[song continues softly over radio]
All right, here's the plan: Oswald finishes his shift at 4:30 p.m.
Once he walks out those doors, we force him into the front seat.
-I'm in the front seat. -Okay, fine.
In the back seat.
You're gonna pin his arms, I'm gonna cut off his trigger finger
and tell him he has 24 hours to exit Dallas.
-That's your plan? -You got a problem with it?
-Well, why don't we just kill him? -[Diego] What?
I mean, you think he's gonna shoot the president, right?
-Right. -Fine, so we kill him.
Put a bullet between his eyes. Problem solved.
Oh, no, no, we're not going to kill a man before he's committed a crime.
That's stupid.
-Excuse me? -In fact, your whole plan is stupid.
What, chopping off a guy's finger?
No, it's not just any finger, it's his trigger finger, all right?
You can't shoot a gun without a trigger finger.
What if he's ambidextrous?
How do you get through a day?
Get out. I can do this on my own.
Dr. Moncton was right, this hero complex is no joke.
-That is not what this is about. -Of course it is.
Y-You want to prove to Daddy that you're a big success.
No, you don't know anything about me.
I know everything about you.
You... You are an open book written for very dumb children.
[haltingly] I am not trying to be a hero, okay?
Then why are you doing this?
Because he is an idiot.
Who the hell are you?
Hi. I'm his loving brother.
Who left me to rot in the nuthouse.
To protect you from yourself.
That's quite sweet.
Okay, both of you, out.
Lose the crazy lady and come with me.
We have important business.
I am not going anywhere with you.
Okay, fine.
-Officer! -Hey!
What are you doing?
I hear there's a reward out for you two.
[Lila] He's bluffing.
He's not.
Fine.
I'll go with you.
[Lila] What about me?
And I'm bringing the crazy lady.
Excuse me, Officer?
-Yep? -I've been waiting for two hours.
I would like to know what's happened to my husband.
[blows]
Name.
Chestnut, Raymond Chestnut.
He's here. In processing.
Yes, I know.
-I would like to speak with him. -[officer] You his lawyer?
-No, I am his wife. -Then I can't help you. Take a seat.
Take a seat.
-[typewriter clacking nearby] -[office phone rings]
Honor and dignity.
-Honor and dignity. -[door opens]
[man] So it's illegal now to hand out flyers?
-It's illegal to hand out flyers? -Without a permit, it is,
-and you know this, Keechie. -[mimics Russian accent] I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize we're living under communist rule.
[officer] Keep moving.
Okay. [panting]
-[cell door clangs shut, locks] -Thank you.
Holy shit!
[breathing heavily]
-It's you. -Have we met?
[Keechie] Yes.
[Klaus sighs heavily]
No, I mean... I saw you speak
-in Berkeley in '61. -Oh. Oh, yeah.
-[Keechie] Yes, you changed my life. -[chuckles] Oh, great.
-[Keechie] It was fanta-- The next day... -[laughs]
...I gave up my law practice, my superficial life,
and I came to where it all started.
I've been spreading your message of love and peace ever since. [sighs]
Oh, I have so many questions.
Yeah, well, now... now is not really the time, though, is it?
Well...
-Because we're in jail. -Oh! [chuckles]
-You have such a sense of humor. -[laughs] Don't touch me.
[Keechie] Okay.
Any nuggets of wisdom that you can give to me?
Don't go chasing waterfalls.
Stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.
That's so... deep.
[chuckles] Yeah, I know, right?
You want to sit in my seat and meditate on it?
-I think you should meditate on it. -[Keechie] Okay.
[chuckling] That hurts in a good way.
Heavy... is the head that wears the crown.
Actually, the line is, "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."
Oh, great. Your dad made you read Shakespeare too, huh?
[Ray] I taught it.
Spelman College.
Really?
-You're a professor, huh? -I used to be.
-Then life took me on a different path. -[Klaus sighs] Me too.
And I have all these people
who have these ridiculously high
-expectations of me... -[inhales deeply]
...but I don't want it anymore.
Remember your Twelfth Night.
"Be not afraid of greatness.
Some are born great,
some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."
[man] Amen, brother.
Oh. Yeah, but Shakespeare had no idea what it was like to be me.
[Ray] Yeah, perhaps.
But it's in the struggle that folks find out their true calling.
Wow, that's deep.
[both laughing]
-Raymond. -Klaus.
-[officer] You're free to go, pretty boy. -[cell door unlocks]
Me?
[officer] Chief got a call from the governor.
The governor?
You got some damn powerful friends, Klaus.
Oh, yeah, I don't even know the guy,
just some of his wealthier benefactors. Oh, thank God.
-[cell door shuts, locks] -[Klaus sighs]
[Ray] Well, I tell you what,
if you ever do meet him,
make sure he knows my brothers here are being held without charge.
Is that true?
-Feel free to file a complaint. -[Klaus] What?
[Elliott] Where did you get the film?
"The Frankel Footage." The truth this time.
-You know this lunatic? -[Five sighs]
New acquaintance. He's harmless.
Are you sure about that?
Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?
-Such an open-ended question, yeah. -Really depends on the people.
You move one more muscle, I will blow your brains out.
-You want to take this or should I? -No, I got him.
Hey, Lila...
[Elliott gasps]
-[round clatters on floor] -[Lila sputters]
What the hell just happened?
-[woman] Is it on? -[man] I don't know.
What do you mean? There's an "on" button. Just--
There's something over-- that jigga-ma-thing, whatever.
-[man] I hit the jigga-ma-thing. -[woman] Okay, well, just--
-Give it to me. I know how to do this. -[man] All right, here.
-Here. Hurry up. -[woman] Okay, all right, let's see...
-[chatter continues on film] -They're so cute.
I love old couples.
I'm always so proud of them for not murdering each other.
-Why are we watching this? -Shush.
-Yeah, I... I'm Dan Frankel. And... -[woman] I'm Edna Frankel.
...Edna Frankel. We are in Dallas, Texas, to see the president.
Today's date is November 22, 1963.
Well, that's six days from now.
[Diego] Holy shit. This is it.
The grassy knoll. Kennedy's about to get shot.
How do you have this?
Hazel died to get me this footage.
It must be the key to stopping doomsday.
-Hazel? -Long story.
-What's doomsday? -Longer story.
What exactly did he say to you?
[Five] Well, he was killed before he could explain.
But whatever he wanted us to see, it's on this film.
[Dan] This is very exciting.
-[gunshots on film] -[people screaming]
-[Dan] Oh, my God! -Oswald.
-[Dan] The president! -[screams continue on film]
[Five exhales] Oh, no.
[film whirring]
[whirring stops]
This can't be.
Okay, you gonna fill me in now, boys? What the hell is this shit we're watching?
No, that's impossible.
Clearly, it's not.
[muffled] What... What is it?
[both] Dad.
[knocking at door]
[cats meowing loudly]
If you're here about the guest room, I only got space for one.
[meows continue]
[squeaking]
-[door shuts] -[Vanya] Hey!
Snack time.
[Sissy] Oh!
[Vanya] Come on.
What?
Oh, you wanna play hide-and-seek?
All right, one game.
I'll finish setting up inside.
[Vanya] You better get going.
All right, one...
two...
three...
[brakes squeaking]
[inaudible]
[Luther] She stays put.
[groans]
[Vanya] Harlan?
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Harlan?
[pigeon squawking]
Harlan?
[wood creaks softly]
[breathes heavily]
Vanya?
You know who I am?
What? Of course I know you.
Oh, my God, I've been putting ads in the... in the paper,
-hoping somebody would-- -Stay back. Stay back. Wait...
[cocks pistol]
[Vanya] How do we know each other?
-[Luther] Stop it. -Stop what?
Whatever bullshit game this is, okay?
-That's not why I'm here. -No, no. I'm not... I'm not lying. I...
I... I had an accident, and it affected my memory.
Did I do something?
Okay, no. It's...
-It's more complicated than that. -If I hurt you, I'm... I'm sorry.
-I... If anybody-- -No. Don't!
[Luther's breath trembles]
You shouldn't be the one to apologize.
What did you do to me?
I let you down.
I did horrible things, things that I'm not proud of...
when I could've just tried helping you.
I thought it was my job to keep everyone safe, and I just...
I just made it all worse.
I never wanted to be the bad guy.
[uncocks pistol] So...
if you're bullshitting me, Vanya...
I don't care.
If you're hiding out here and don't want to be found, I understand.
I just came here to tell you...
that I'm sorry...
-for my part in what happened. -[clattering]
Harlan, Harlan. Hey...
-Who's the kid? -[rifle cocks]
[Sissy] He's my son.
And you got about ten seconds to explain your business here.
Slowly.
I found it on the floor at the Carousel Club.
Belongs to your husband.
[uncocks rifle]
Next time, use the front door.
Yes, ma'am.
[funky instrumental jazz playing]
[cats meowing nearby]
[steel clangs]
[knife impacts flesh]
[whooshing, metallic clang]
[air whooshing]
[cats continue meowing nearby]
Of course Dad would be involved in the assassination. I should've known.
No, you're jumping to conclusions.
What else is he doing standing on the grassy knoll,
holding an open black umbrella on a sunny day in Dallas
the exact same moment the president gets shot?
It doesn't look good, I admit.
No, he's the signalman for the whole goddamn thing.
Easy, Diego.
-Seriously. -No, it makes sense.
This is what Hazel was obviously trying to tell you.
We have to stop Dad from killing the president.
Diego, calm down, all right?
Dad was no Boy Scout, but presidential assassination?
-It's never been his thing. -How would you know?
You skipped out on his golden years.
Skipped out?
You think I had it easy, Diego?
I was alone for 45 years.
You know what? We don't have the time for this right now.
Dad's clearly in Dallas, right? Let's just go talk to him.
Maybe he can help us fix the timeline.
Dallas is a big place.
We need to find him first.
Gee, if only we had some magical, old-timey way
of finding people and their addresses.
Let's start simple. His name.
[Diego] Hargreeves... Hargreeves... Hargreeves...
Shit, nothing here.
Try his company, D.S. Umbrella Manufacturing Co.
Yeah, I know the name.
Thanks.
Uh...
Holy shit.
"D.S. Umbrella.
Eighty-two Olive."
Let's go.
[Elliott grunting, muffled]
-He okay to leave here like that? -Yeah, he's fine.
What about the girl?
[Elliott grunting loudly]
-Shit. -[Five sighs]
[Diego] What are you doing in here?
Nothing, just...
-you know, getting some air. -In a closet?
There's a draft.
All right, Lila, I gotta take off with Five, okay?
[Lila] It's happening again, isn't it?
What is?
Cuckoo.
That home movie.
Doomsday. [breath trembling]
Diego, last time I started seeing things, they put me away.
-Maybe I shouldn't have left. -Stop.
Do you...
Do you believe there are things in this universe
we're never meant to understand?
Well, I failed remedial school. Most things I don't understand.
-Okay. -[Lila] Like yogurt.
How did it know how to stop being milk?
Okay. Like yogurt.
[Lila sniffles]
We don't have to understand shit about it for it to be real.
Right?
Doesn't make us crazy.
That home movie...
it's just that.
It's like yogurt.
Pinky swear?
The pinkiest.
I gotta leave you here with Elliott, okay?
Why?
Got a family thing.
[retreating footsteps]
-[cell door shuts, locks] -[Ray] We should talk about a plan
in case I'm not out in time for the sit-in.
[Allison] Raymond, I'm gonna get you outta here.
This is my fault. It was a setup, and I walked right into it.
I'm gonna fix this.
Babe, they were going to arrest me regardless.
They can't have us making noise,
embarrass them while the president's in town.
-I made it worse. -No. No, no, no.
You make things better.
Hey.
You make me better.
I'm gonna get you outta here, okay?
Hey...
I'm curious.
Why did you say,
"I heard a rumor" last night?
-[keys jangling, cell door unlocks] -Hmm?
-You said it twice. -[officer] Time.
Uh, I... [sighs]
-We'll talk about this later, okay? -[officer] Let's go, ma'am.
-[Allison] Honor and dignity. -Honor and dignity.
I promise.
Where did you get that?
All the children of the prophet have them.
And does this "prophet" have a name?
[bugs chirring]
[lock clicks]
[glass shards clinking]
The key was under the mat,
-but you knew that already. -No talky, no talky, no talky.
Just...
sleepy time now.
Sleepy time.
What's the matter?
Don't like what you see?
[Klaus sighs heavily]
[grunting]
Piss off.
[Klaus sighs]
I keep asking myself how I know that guy from the barn.
Honey, you've been with us more than a month.
You are not the type who'd associate with rough men like that.
The weird thing is, he apologized.
Said he'd done me wrong and wanted to make amends.
Even more reason to avoid him.
Ain't a lot of men around here who apologize to women.
So, whatever he did,
it must've been somethin' bad.
I just wish I could remember something.
Anything.
It'll come back.
Doc said it would take time. You can't rush it.
And in the meantime, I have no idea who I was.
Here.
Show me those hands.
[Sissy] Hmm...
You were never a farmhand, that's for sure.
I doubt you've done any real labor.
[melancholy piano notes play]
Uh, these callouses on your fingertips...
I wonder how you got those.
[soft violin accompanies piano]
[Vanya, softly] I wonder.
It's late.
We should mosey.
Yeah. [exhaling]
I'll... I'll clean up.
Good night, then. [sighs]
[melancholy instrumentals continue]
[muted classical violin music]
-[gasps softly] -[high-pitched tone overlaps with violin]
[panting]
[car door opens, shuts]
[car engine starts]
[Five] This is it.
[engine stops]
[Diego grunts]
[Diego] "D.S. Umbrella." This is it.
You okay?
Yeah, fine.
Just...
[Five sighs]
How long's it been since you've seen the old man?
Forty-five years.
That's a trip.
No kidding. [sighing]
You know, when I was stuck out there in the apocalypse,
there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't hear his voice in my head.
What was he saying?
-[mutters] Ah, shit. -"I told you so."
[Diego scoffs softly]
Well, if Dad's here, he's never met you before,
so he can't say "I told you so."
I'm sure he'll find a way.
-[Five sighs] -Right.
Gotta remember that. [clears throat]
Shit.
Guess Dad wasn't much for home decor.
Feels more like a front.
A front for what?
[Five] I don't know.
[Diego] Well, I'll take the left.
Yell if you, uh... get in trouble.
[door shuts]
[suspenseful instrumental music plays]
[softly] What are you up to?
-[door opens nearby] -[retreating footsteps]
[door opens]
[retreating footsteps]
[crickets chirping outside]
[grunts softly]
[metallic clattering]
[suspenseful instrumental music continues]
[soft clattering]
[soft chittering]
[soft grunt]
-[gentle squeaking] -[Five whispers] Hi.
Pogo.
-Hey. -[soft hooting]
It's all right, little buddy.
[Pogo hoots softly]
Pogo. It's good to see you.
-[Pogo screeches] -[Five cries out]
[Pogo screeching, scampering away]
Diego!
[The Spencer Davis Group's "I'm a Man" playing]
[soft grunt]
[Diego groans]
[Diego grunts]
Impressive.
♪ Well, my pad is very messy And there's whiskers on my chin ♪
♪ And I'm all hung up on music And I always play to win ♪
♪ I ain't got no time for lovin' 'Cause my time is all used up ♪
♪ Just been sittin' around creatin' All that groovy kind of stuff ♪
♪ But I'm a man ♪
♪ Yes, I am And I can't help but love you so ♪
-♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪ -[grunting]
♪ But I'm a man ♪
♪ Yes, I am And I can't help but love you so ♪
[grunting, groaning]
♪ Well, if I had my choice in the matter I would rather be with cats ♪
♪ All engrossed in mental chatter Showin' where our minds are at ♪
♪ And relating to each other Just how strong our will can be ♪
♪ In resisting all involvement With each groovy chick we see ♪
-♪ I'm a man ♪ -[cries out]
♪ Yes, I am But I can't help but love you so ♪
-Dad. -♪ No, no, no ♪
-[grunts] -♪ But I'm a man ♪
♪ Yes, I am And I can't help but love you so ♪
Amateur.
[Diego groans]
♪ I'm a man ♪
-[rebar clangs] -♪ Yes, I am ♪
-♪ And I can't help but love you so ♪ -♪ No, no, no ♪
-♪ Yes, I am ♪ -♪ No, no, no... ♪
[singers vocalizing]
[Pogo screeches]
[rock violin music playing]