Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
Darn you!
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
Your waist is sweet like a lollipop!
Oh, man!
Damn it!
Edit this out!
I'll go get some water.
- Live long, oh, son of Bihar! - He's a naughty one.
Brilliant!
Passengers, please pay attention.
Flight number 301 is delayed by thirty minutes.
Thank you for your patience.
A huge round of applause!
Keep the applause going!
Come on, clap!
Hello, Sidhu ji!
How are you, buddy?
- You are incredibly lucky, I must say. - Why?
I won the elections yesterday,
and not a single girl is chasing me.
How are you sitting with six behind you?
Well…
They're sitting behind me. I can't see them.
But your eyes are glued to them.
- But you are not being fair. - How?
Had a starlet walked in here, you would've drowned her in poetry.
I came all this way, and you didn’t even say a word.
A simple rhyming couplet at least?
"Kabir wandering the marketplace" or whatever.
No way.
A loyal dog…
A dog?
A loyal dog does not bark At its master's hand
Good one.
A skilled carpenter never drives a nail Where it does not stand
Now that you have won…
Now that you have won Your way into power, understand
No one can save your constituency From ruin at your own hand
When actresses come, he talks about flowers, rivers, mountains, streams,
but for me, dogs?!
Excuse me, we are here to take pictures.
- Please move. - Move out.
- Move! Ma'am! Over here! - To your left, ma'am!
- Wrong number! - Left! Left!
- Selfie? - Wrong number!
- Backside photo! - Lovely!
Beautiful! Oh, nice!
Hey, PA!
- Why are they taking her pictures? - Okay, bye-bye.
Which constituency does she stand in?
She does not stand in any constituency.
Wherever she goes, the constituency stands for her.
Well said!
Hey, red cap!
Who are you guys?
We are paparazzi.
But it must have been mummarazi before it became paparazzi, right?
- Sidhu ji. - Yes?
- I won the election just yesterday. - Really?
- Nobody took my picture. - Really? What are you saying?
And they shoot videos of her from behind and ask people to guess who she is.
Is her backside linked to her Aadhaar card that I'd recognize her?
They expect me to lead the nation forward,
but they themselves are stuck behind someone’s back.
No, that's not true.
- Sidhu paaji. - Yes.
We do make videos of politicians.
That you do!
But only when a politician is in a compromising position.
- But Sidhu ji, - Yes?
it's compromising only for them.
For the politician, it's still pleasurable.
If I throttle you right now, your entire life will flash before your eyes.
Why are you getting worked up?
We are going to the Maldives. We are going to relax.
Maldives?
Well done, Mantri ji.
You forgot about the public the moment you won the election.
You're going to the Maldives? Why are you going there?
I stood on my feet through the entire campaign.
I think I have earned the right to lie down somewhere.
- Now, Sidhu ji, you know… - I do.
- the election happens in five phases. - Yes.
But I had to touch fifty thousand people's feet to become a minister.
- That's true. - My back is practically a C-shape.
We're just going there to straighten it a little.
But his mother is losing sleep over it.
What problem does his mother have?
Mother, father…
Hey!
Your mother, father live with you, right? Take care of them.
Listen, Mantri ji, you're only thinking about yourself.
What about the promises you made to the public?
What promise?
- What?! - You remember my promise.
The heroine who just walked by…
I've seen her movie. She promised the hero
that she'd be with him for seven lifetimes.
In the very next movie, she's with another hero
in a swimming pool, washing all those promises away.
She washed away all the promises and hung them out to dry.
Not a single question for her.
But all the questions come to me.
You became a damn paparazzi just for me?
Mantri ji, that was a film.
And this is politics!
- Sir! Sir! - When is our flight?
Sir, listen to us. People are suffering.
When it rains, the water comes up to here.
- Do something. - You want me to teach you how to swim?
"The water comes up to here." I’d trust a buffalo more than you.
She swims on her own.
On top of that, she gives milk twice a day.
Wait, not from the top. From the bottom.
But she does.
She gives milk twice a day and never complains.
You vote once every five years and ask 50 questions.
Sit down!
No more stupid questions for my brother-in-law.
Brother-in-law?!
Hold on. Hold on.
- So what? - Mantri ji,
you made your own brother-in-law your PA?
This is nepotism, Archana ji.
Right!
What nepotism?
He gave me his sister.
Do you want to be my PA?
Enough of this nepotism nonsense!
Sidhu ji, you have seen shop signs that say
- Ramlal and Sons. - Sons.
Have you ever seen one that says "Ramlal and Shyamlal's Son"?
- No. - Nope.
Everyone pushes their own son forward.
So I pushed my father-in-law's son.
Why is your mother losing sleep over it?
What wrong did I do? Mother… father… take care of them.
I am telling you.
Sir, sir.
- Sir, you never do anything right. - Yes.
At the hospital in our village,
you appointed a veterinarian.
My grandfather had an eye problem. They replaced his eye
with an owl's eye.
So what's wrong with that?
He couldn't see in the daytime. Now he sees at night as well!
What's wrong with that?
You should not be a minister.
You should be the chief minister.
Even the opposition agrees with me.
Only you people have a problem.
How old is your grandfather?
Sir, he's eighty.
He got a new eye at eighty?
What does he still need to see?
Can your grandmother see properly?
Sir, she passed away.
- She is dead? - Yes.
So who’s your grandfather checking out now?
Sir!
- We still don’t have proper roads. - Yes.
Where do you want to go?
Nowhere.
If you don't want to go anywhere,
why should I waste government money on you, you rat?
You wear a sherwani only on your wedding day, right?
Or you wear it every day and go around on a horse with a sword?
Sir, look at the roads in the United States.
They are so wide.
You’ve never stepped outside Meerut.
Who’s been filling your head with stories about the US?
Hey, PA!
- You are Changur's son, right? - Yes.
You take 300 rupees to attend a rally,
and now you want roads like the US?
Sit down!
Mantri ji,
you haven’t done a single job properly…
- What did I do wrong? - …and now you’re talking back to them?
Talk back…
For the public,
I built a crematorium on three acres of land.
It’s been four months, and not a single person has died yet.
They will not write about that at all.
Mantri ji, you should've built a hospital, not a crematorium.
- Hey! - Hey!
- Hey, Sidhu ji. - Yes.
- Tell me something. - Go ahead.
How long can a hospital really save you?
Eight, ninety, a hundred years?
What is the final destination?
I’ve directly taken care of the final destination
and no one appreciates it.
No one has died yet.
You spend a day in a hospital,
and they charge you lakhs of rupees!
You come to our place,
pay only 700 rupees for the wood, and meet your maker immediately.
Direct!
Sir, you should think about saving lives first.
To hell with saving them! Haven't you heard,
"He whom God strikes down, no one can save."
- What? - No, no, no.
Mantri ji, you've got the saying wrong.
Fine. Sidhu ji is here, so let him fix it.
I'm leaving. Let's go.
- Hey! What's wrong? - Get lost.
Why are you stopping me?
What's wrong? Why are you stopping me?
I'm his better half. I'm his wife.
- Hey! - He's my husband.
Let her in.
She is my wife.
I am not coming.
You know what he said to me before he left?
He said he was going to distribute clothes to people.
So where are you really going?
- The Maldives? - Yes.
Of course. That’s where they really need it.
That's true.
Haven't you seen those poor souls
lying by the sea without any clothes?
There are naked children in your own constituency as well.
Why not go there?
I did. They got greedy.
- So? - Give them free clothes
and they start producing kids non-stop.
I carried six children for you
and you feel the need to straighten your back?
She got you there.
Sidhu ji, you're the smart one. Talk to him!
Why is he going?
Why are you telling him?
He himself tells his wife he’s off to do commentary
and parks himself next to Malaika Arora.
I'll show you.
Don't throw your pillow at me.
I have my own mattress.
- Hey! - Hey!
You go ahead, Bhagmati. I'll catch up with you later.
I'm not leaving so easily.
Hey, you. Come here.
Is that the boarding pass?
- Boarding… - Here is Mal,
and here is Dives.
Got it?
Yes. Well done.
Now you don't need to serve anyone outside your constituency.
I will serve you. Come.
- Look at that. - Exclusive!
- Slap him up! - He said he was going to Patna…
- Come on. - Listen to me--
Look at that!
One minute. I've been standing here forever,
and no one took my picture.
- One small argument with my wife, - Move.
and suddenly I'm in a compromising situation,
and you damn…
Damn you!
Scram!
Please join me, all the musafirs!
Bravo!
Welcome!
Today our three superstars,
Manoj bhaiya, Dinesh bhaiya, and Pawan bhaiya…
- That's incredible! - Oh, wow!
Nirahua Rickshawwala!
We knew they're singers and politicians.
Wherever there’s music and a crowd, they're sure to show up.
That was so much fun.
Today our three guests and Sidhu sahab have a very old and close relationship.
Earlier, even Sidhu sahab was on this side.
Now he is on the other side.
So, sir, from that side, let's hear some lines for the people on this side.
- Something fiery. - Yes, why not.
First, for Manoj sahab.
Yes.
He is the king of Bhojpuri Loved by everyone
He is no one's uncle, no one's mama
He is Rinkiya's papa!
The vest guy moved up and wore a shirt
The bread guy stepped up and added cheese
Just look at Nirahua's rise
The rickshaw guy now rolls in a Mercedes
- He is not a tap. He is a shower - Wow.
He catches hearts like a signal tower
The one who can run a tractor without fuel Pawan Singh, he's that pure star power
Wow, wow, wow!
Amazing.
- Archana ji. - Yes, Nirahua ji.
I would also like to say this for Power Star.
- Yes. - Go ahead.
The guy who was hitting fours Is now smashing a six
There should be loud cheers because
The lollipop guy landed on Netflix
All three of our guests today are multi-talented.
They are singers, actors, and politicians.
So, Manoj bhaiya,
which loan did you have to pay off that you have to do all three things?
Before you ask me, Kapil Sharma, you must ask yourself.
What do they say? The Lord has blessed you with everything.
Thirteen years ago, I heard for the first time
that I needed to go to Kapil's show.
After thirteen years,
- I am back on the show. - Yes.
And I think I'll be doing this for the next 26 years as well.
- Love you, Manoj bhaiya. Thank you. - Oh, that's great.
So, the rest is…
Now you have Sidhu paaji, why do you ask us?
Ask him. Question there.
Do you know, Archana ji?
On each of his songs, there are twenty million…
Fifty million.
Hundred million.
I'm starting slowly so that I don't shock you with the numbers.
They get seven to eight hundred million views.
- I wanted to ask you, Nirahua ji. - Yes.
Seven hundred million people are listening to your song. Right?
- Yes. - If so many people vote for someone,
they will not only win in their territory,
but help win the entire state.
Where did these people go during your election?
- They are two different equations. - No, but…
Both of them are different things.
No, he's right.
Look, the best thing is that you have called two gems…
from our industry today.
Sometimes, you call some really strange people.
No, don't get me wrong.
No, I wasn't thinking about Ravi bhaiya at all.
Oh, man!
Okay, he keeps saying whatever he wants to about Ravi bhaiya,
but he sure loves him a lot.
He remembered him as soon as they came on the show.
- He remembered, absolutely. - He did.
- We absolutely love him! - Yes.
No, absolutely.
First Manoj bhaiya entered politics, then Nirahua bhaiya,
and now Pawan bhaiya.
So were you inspired by Manoj bhaiya or Ravi bhaiya?
I think Ravi bhaiya was inspired by Manoj bhaiya as well.
Really?
But he won't admit it.
He doesn't admit it.
They're back at it again!
They're back at it.
He got into politics before I did.
Okay.
But he was on the sidelines.
Standing there.
I got him to meet some people.
And the next time he got the ticket, he became a parliamentarian.
- Wow! - Now he is a very good parliamentarian.
I have to say this.
No, no, he is a really good parliamentarian.
You all know Pawan bhai. He is called Power Star.
They say he can charge a mobile phone just by holding it in his hand.
I wanted to ask a question on behalf of the audience.
When a heroine works with you in a film, can she touch you directly,
or does she have to wear rubber slippers?
They say that about your power.
They call me Power Star, but I'm a nobody.
Whatever I am, I am because of your blessing.
It's your love that you call me Power Star.
I'm a very normal person.
This is how we live.
- I'll hug the two of you as well. - That's amazing.
Love!
By the way, let me tell you.
He's a kind-hearted star.
He's a lovely star.
And you're an innocent star. Lovely.
Naive!
I swear, Manoj bhaiya is so lovely.
I think if the opposition asks him politely,
he'll vote for them.
He's such a lovely person.
I think he’s very naive. Nirahua bhaiya will tell you the truth.
Is Manoj bhaiya really naive or is he a good actor?
He just has an innocent face.
The best answer to this question can be given by Ravi bhaiya.
We're going to have a blast today.
Come, sir. Please take a seat.
Nirahua bhaiya had told me this story.
- It's very funny. I would love if-- - Oh, man!
When someone's son was about to be launched…
Nirahua bhaiya, go on. It's very funny.
Oh, God!
So, Pawan bhaiya here…
There is a politician we know.
His son was about to be launched.
Okay.
So, Pawan said, "Okay."
"My brother is being launched, so I’ll play the villain."
- Okay. - Wow.
Then when I met him…
I asked him if he was a part of that movie.
He said, "Yes."
I asked, "Have you heard the story?"
He said, "No, I haven't."
Then I told him that from the beginning till the end,
he’s just getting beaten up.
- What was his reaction? - What?
He said, "Buzz off!"
"Power Star doesn't risk his life for his reputation."
"I'm not going to take all that beating."
"Bhai, come on, help me." I said, "What do you want?"
"Come with me and talk them out of casting me."
So, we got there. And he said to them…
"So, let's hear the story."
He heard the story and realized his only job was to get beaten up.
He said, "You know…"
"You should have two villains in this movie."
- And one of them is Nirahua! - You're the other one!
He said, "One will be me. The other, my brother."
We'll split the thrashing.
I'm looking at him like, "What the--"
"Bhai, I had come here to rescue you."
So, he said, "Come on, let's do it."
- "Both brothers can share the beating." - Share the beating!
I said, "No, I'm not getting thrashed."
He said, "I can't say no to him."
So I said, "No problem, we’ve got a power that will rescue us."
- I-- - I'll just go get some water.
- No, stay here! - Yes, bhaiya!
So, I called Manoj bhaiya.
I said, "Bhaiya, I'm in trouble."
Power Star has trapped me.
He asked, "What's wrong?" I told him everything.
He said, "Okay, don't worry."
"I'll do something."
He called the director.
He said, "You're making that movie, right?"
"Who's playing the villain?"
The director said, "Pawan ji and Nirahua."
He said, "Have you lost your mind?"
Pawan is an amazing singer!
He sings one song in a Hindi film and the film takes off.
Get him to sing a song and get Nirahua to make a guest appearance in it.
The director said, "Bhaiya, the villain?"
He said, "Ask Ravi Kishan to do it."
Kapil ji, please edit this out.
This won’t make it on air, right?
Please cut it during editing.
You'll make my life difficult, bhai.
Please, your show--
Sometimes, people get trapped in situations.
Let me show you your video.
Show it.
Where are you going?
What? Who is taking us there?
Stop! Stop, man!
Stop!
- You took a different route. - Where are you taking us?
Turn around.
Turn around!
Manoj bhaiya.
- This… - What happened here?
Did you get in the opposition's car?
- What happened here? - No…
This is a political game.
This happened on the last day of election, Sidhu paaji.
I want to end the road show.
And he just drove off.
He started driving away!
And a candidate who was fighting against me, he'd told me,
"Come meet me. We need to discuss some things."
I can't go there without wrapping up my road show, right?
That is why I was scolding my driver and asking him to turn around.
I'm stressed about completing all the road shows assigned to me.
People were waiting for me.
But when people found this video…
I am always asked about this video.
So this is called political artistry.
Bhaiya, we have some fan mail for you.
- People have sent these letters. - Okay.
This is the first letter. It's from Santosh Kumar from Bhagalpur.
For Nirahua bhaiya.
"Many of your songs are about sisters-in-law."
"I sang the same song for the neighbor's sister-in-law."
"But I had a fight with the neighbor."
"He poured hot water on me."
"You tell me, when you sing, she dances."
"When I sing, the neighbor thrashes me."
"Is it your song or is it my singing skills?"
"Or is she playing on both sides?" What the--
Please tell him that you're an actor.
- The neighbor's sister-in-law-- - Tell him the problem is his intention.
There's no problem with the sister-in-law.
There you go, right from the horse's mouth!
Thank you.
Thank you. You gave the answer.
That's great. I don't need to answer now.
- Selection of place matters as well. - Yes.
It should be right.
He shoots a small arrow from his innocent face.
Pawan bhaiya, for you, Mohan ji writes from Gopalganj.
"Pawan bhaiya, greetings."
"We listen to your songs a lot."
"And we listen to them very carefully."
"Choli, lehenga, sari, frock are used a lot in your songs."
"I am a tailor."
"People prefer readymade stuff these days, so business isn’t doing well."
"Please give me a chance to write for you."
"I won't disappoint you."
"Please share your WhatsApp number."
Come and meet me, my friend.
And if you think that the songs I sing are inappropriate,
please ban them.
Write some fabulous songs for me, and I'll sing those!
Wow!
Did you hear that?
The next letter is for Manoj bhaiya.
"Manoj bhaiya, greetings."
"Manoj bhaiya, I saw a video of yours."
"During the election campaign, you got in the wrong jeep--"
Okay, this is the video.
"You were mad at him."
"If a politician himself goes off in the wrong direction,
how will he lead the people in the right direction?"
"That's why I want you to fire that driver and give me the job."
"I won't disappoint you."
"Just do me a favor."
"The police station near you has confiscated my license."
"Please help me get it back."
"Yours, Om Prakash."
Brother, it's a little difficult.
Why?
He's a naughty one.
- Our Manoj bhaiya… - Yes.
- Ever since he became a star… - Yes.
all his drivers…
His first driver was named Ravi.
Brother, it was a coincidence.
- Oh, really! - He's justifying himself!
- Archana ji! - Yes?
His second driver…
- What was his name? - …was named Pawan.
And the highlight is that the one who is driving his car right now is Dinesh.
Really?
Look.
This is totally a coincidence.
I am equally surprised.
- It was fun to listen to. - In this, the gentleman,
Om Prakash ji, if you change your name to Khesari, then…
Amazing!
You could be the next driver.
Now, Ravi has run away.
"Ravi has run away!"
- "Ravi has run away!" - No, no.
And coincidentally, Dinesh has left as well.
Really?
- But Pawan's there. - Pawan's there.
Today I promise, whoever the driver is in the future
- I will change their name! - No, no way!
Dinesh-Pawan will be fine.
Ravi, if you say it again and again, I will be in trouble.
He won't let me live.
But I want to say one thing.
Why is the work of a driver considered small?
I’d like to request that…
- Let’s not consider any work small. - Of course.
I, too, have been a driver in my life.
I have studied while driving for three years.
Wow!
I, Kapil bhai, believe…
that…
anyone who looks down on any work
will one day be looked down upon
- by work itself. - Correct. Correct.
What was your first job, Pawan bhaiya?
I still remember that day.
In my village…
I was about…
five-and-a-half years old.
We had two jewelers in the village.
There was a wedding at their place.
So, all the guests have been fed.
Everyone is resting.
Even the family was relieved that all the guests had been served.
So, some children from the village were standing outside their homes.
To see if they could get something as well.
So they were handing out snacks like this.
I still remember that day that among those 20 children,
Pawan had held his hand out like this as well!
This is what happens.
This is a fact. This is right.
- No work should be considered small. - Of course.
This is life.
This is struggle.
You should never give up.
- One day you will surely get success. - Of course.
Manoj bhaiya, we've seen that earlier in the parliament,
there used to be banter with Vajpayee sahab,
or be it Lalu ji.
His humor was amazing and your sense of humor is great as well.
How do you stop the Manoj Tiwari inside you?
I’m sure you must want to lighten the mood a bit.
I leave that Manoj Tiwari outside the gate.
You are right, actually.
Our parliament has changed a bit.
Let's not talk about the reasons here on this show.
Yeah, let's not talk about the parliament.
Let's change the topic.
No, no, Kapil.
I have a question about the parliament.
Have you eaten in the parliament canteen?
Yes.
- You too, Dinesh, right? - Yes.
So the the parliament canteen or the food on your Bhojpuri film sets?
What do you enjoy more?
Okay, it has changed these days.
Earlier, it used to be free.
- Almost. - Okay.
Now, it costs money.
- Okay. - Yes.
So, it must be very difficult for a politician to pay out of his own pocket.
Wow, Archana ji. Wow.
You're amazing.
Sidhu paaji, do you agree with her?
No, no. Look, it depends on the politician, guru.
- Yes. - It's not completely true.
There've been politicians who've given up their homes for the country.
Who have given their lives for the country.
There are such people as well.
So, that's not always the case.
He is absolutely right.
That kind of talk made people view politics in a bad light.
- Politics is never negative. - Yes.
- Some of the politicians could be. - Right.
- That's just… - Well said, bhaiya.
Manoj bhaiya, has this ever happened?
Where you're going to your constituency,
or maybe campaigning for another candidate,
to discuss a serious topic.
You've just held the mic,
and someone yells, "Manoj bhaiya, let's hear 'Rinkiya ke papa'."
How do you handle situations like these?
This happens often.
I had made a mistake once.
Okay. How?
We had installed security cameras worth four crore rupees.
So I had gone to inaugurate it.
As soon as I got to the stage the announcer said,
"Sir, please sing 'Rinkiya ke papa' today."
- Okay. - And I was…
I was offended. "How could they ask an MP to sing?"
But you were fine when a singer became an MP?
Oh, my…
Donald!
Namaste, India!
Namaste!
Namaste, Netflix!
Namaste!
How much is it, Dinesh?
Sorry, Manoj ji, coincidentally his name is Dinesh as well.
Wow.
- How much is it, Dinesh? - Seventy-five thousand.
- What? What? What? - Seventy-five thousand.
Your rickshaw costs 14,000.
You are asking for 75,000 in fare.
Aren’t you ashamed?
Bhaiya, I’m driving you down from Bihar.
- Bihar? - My bones have given up.
- Give me 75,000. - You've driven us from Bihar,
not from the moon.
That’s too much, lower it a bit.
Brother, look, I am working as a laborer.
I have to pay my boss as well.
He is a poor man. Give it.
Okay, Donald, if you are saying so.
I'll pay him. How much?
Why are you counting? He is poor. Give all of it.
Come on.
Here you go.
Oh, my God!
- He's the boss. - Wait a minute.
Why is he giving you money?
He is my boss.
- What? - Yes.
Here you go.
Take your wages and get lost.
This isn't even enough for the bus.
I'll kick you all the way back to the village!
Go!
- Oh my God! Rickshawwala! - Is he back?
Not him. Him! Nirahua Rickshawwala!
Superstar Bhojpuri!
The ones we were looking for in U.P. and Bihar,
are sitting here on Netflix's radar.
My God, what amazing songs you make!
"Jiya Ho Bihar Ke Lala!"
What a song!
"Ek Bihari Sau Pe Bhaari!"
All these songs…
are meant to wake up the society.
But you shouldn't be making these songs.
- Why? - Because it increases the population.
How can songs increase the population?
Look, once the society wakes up…
After that, it sleeps only after doing its social work.
Oh God!
My mother
is a big fan of yours.
- Wow. - Yes, she is.
- Is she? - Is she?
Punjabi tends to slip in when you spend time with him.
My mother has sent a Bihari dish for you,
especially for you.
Wow.
One minute, one minute.
How is this a Bihari dish?
This is croissant.
It has sattu in it.
- And this is a two-in-one dish. - Oh.
What does two-in-one mean?
Look, you can eat it from both the sides.
Pawan ji can eat it from the other side.
Nirahua bhai can eat it from this side.
Two-in-one.
Oh.
Going by that logic, my mother has sent you a three-in-one dish.
- Which one? - What is that, brother?
Samosa!
Manoj ji can eat from here.
Pawan ji can eat from here.
And Nirahua ji can eat from here.
Too good!
One minute. What if Ravi Kishan shows up?
He can have the potato in the middle.
The potato in the middle.
But I didn't understand one thing.
Tell me the truth. There is so much great food in Bihar.
Litti chokha, daal bhaat!
There is so much to eat.
So, why do people eat wood every morning in Bihar?
One minute, were they eating it like this?
Yes, yes, that's exactly what they were doing!
That was a datun, you fool!
They use it to brush their teeth so that their mouth doesn’t stink.
So that their mouth doesn’t stink?
Why do they put the stink in their mouth in the first place?
Here's 100 rupees.
And give me 98 rupees back.
Why?
Because you have just talked like a two-rupee person.
"Why do they put the stink in their mouth in the first place?"
By the way, we went to Bihar. What a state!
- Lovely. - Really?
I haven't forgotten the khushboo of Bihar yet.
Oh, the fragrance of Bihar's mud.
Not the fragrance. Khushboo.
That's the name of the dancer from Sonpur's fair.
I haven't forgotten about her!
Her dance was breathtaking!
It was amazing!
Oh, my God!
You guys haven't told us what you were doing in Bihar.
Oh, I'll tell you.
You have won the elections.
We have also won the elections.
But the way you have won people's hearts,
we haven't been able to do that yet.
So we need training on how to win hearts.
That's right. Please train us.
We started off on the wrong foot.
- We should have become singers first. - Yes.
- Then actors, then politicians… - Yes.
Then we should have fought the second election.
You won't fight the first election?
Unfortunately, none of them won their first elections.
Wow!
You guys are mocking us.
Pawan ji!
The man! The personality!
His personality is amazing.
His fear…
Once he looked at sattu like this.
Sattu has been hiding in litti ever since.
- Dinesh ji. - Yes?
We want to learn something from you as well.
Yes, tell me.
Launda dance.
Launda dance?
You guys are gonna do the launda dance?
We've fortunately come here as laundas today.
They have the opportunity!
You never know, in the next episode…
you might see us walking in like this again.
So let's see if we can do the launda dance today.
Wow!
- Music! - Don't worry!
We have come prepared.
Please stop.
- Oh! - Don't worry.
Oh my God!
There you go!
This is how you do it.
Let's do that step once.
Wow!
Pawan bhai, we've heard something about you.
The clothes that you wear,
if you don't have a good day in them,
then you never repeat those clothes.
Is this right?
Not just clothes, there are other things as well.
Other things?
And if a day goes really well in certain clothes,
how long do you keep wearing them without changing?
You asked the right question.
Let’s say my brother or I got some new clothes.
I wear them and go to a place.
If I have a bad day, say I'm hungry all day,
I had a fight with someone.
I just blame it all on the shirt. "Who bought this crap? Get rid of it."
- But if the day goes well… - Yes.
Then I use it for at least four to five years.
- Oh, very nice. - Wow!
Excellent.
One more thing.
I stay away from black.
Really?
Please take care, Manoj bhaiya.
That's the reason you've been missing Ravi bhaiya a lot today.
You are white.
Okay, I am white?
Okay.
I said, I stay away from the color black.
If I wear black from head to toe, like he has…
Something is bound to go wrong that day.
But does it really happen or you just feel that way?
No one told me this.
My heart told me this.
Okay.
If I wear black on the day of a recording or a shoot,
or if I go on the stage, something will definitely go wrong!
Okay.
And whether it's on the outside, the top, the bottom, or on the inside
you will definitely find the color red on my body.
- Wow. - Okay.
Because my…
lucky color is red.
That's the reason he is with Dinesh Lal…
Come, Manoj bhaiya, let's play a game on this happy note.
Now, Manoj bhaiya, I want to ask you three questions
and you have to answer in five seconds.
These are very small questions.
What if I don't wish to answer?
We have voted for you.
You will have to answer our questions.
So, Manoj bhaiya, it is a five-second challenge.
Three things that you like to take for free.
- Prayers. - Yes.
And…
- water. - Yes.
And…
- Vote! - They're saying, "Vote!"
And coming to this show.
Wow!
There are three women whom you are afraid of.
- The wife. - My wife is very sweet.
There's the fear.
Yes, that's the fear!
- My daughter, Sanvika. - Yes.
If I go somewhere without informing her, she scolds me a lot.
- Okay. - She did, today as well.
"You left without asking me. Why?"
And when I come to this show,
I hope and pray that I don't make a mistake in front of Archana ji.
Those were really great answers, Manoj bhaiya.
For you, Pawan bhaiya.
Three things you're scared of.
My mother.
A stage like this.
And my audience.
Three things you do at night before you go to sleep.
The mighty audience's questions.
The first thing, I used to do it.
What?
Now it’s done within limits.
Secondly, I do Vajrasana for two to four minutes after dinner.
Very nice.
And then I go to sleep.
- Wow! - Wow!
He wants to know what you do before you sleep.
Right, before you go to sleep.
I told you, right? Let's skip the details.
Right!
Okay, Nirahua bhaiya.
Three things you can do with your finger.
First of all…
I vote.
- Yes. - Very good. Wonderful.
And… mobile phone.
I use it.
Scratch my ears.
Three things that one will always find in your car.
Water.
Some food items.
A photo of Ravi ji.
You'll find it in my car!
You'll find it in my car.
- And a photo of Hanuman ji. - Oh, wow.
So, audience!
If you have anything to say to your favorite stars,
please raise your hands, and we'll get you a mic.
Hello, sir. My name is Dheeraj.
And I'm from Nagpur.
I'm a mimicry artist.
And today, we've spoken a lot about Ravi sir.
Just a couple of lines
- in Ravi sir's style-- - He's listening!
Don't worry, he's listening.
My dear, man!
Here…
life is hell, but we're all well!
That's amazing!
- And Manoj sir as well. - Oh, wow.
Well…
I want to eat an omelet and I will eat it!
Amazing!
- Wow! - This omelet…
This omelet isn't your father's property!
I'm hungry and I will eat it!
- Wow, man. - Thank you so much.
Look, what I want to say is, whether it's a film or a song,
good writers, lyricists, they're the backbone of the industry,
they should definitely come forward.
If one of you is a good writer or a singer…
You should be ashamed of yourself for saying that.
How dare you talk about the writers--
You should be ashamed of yourself.
You're the one who's not letting him come forward.
Come on, come on. It's alright.
If a writer never gets access to a singer, how will he ever come forward?
- It's alright. - We have three singers here.
- No one ever lets me meet them! - Come on, come on.
- Come on, come on.
- Let him come, brother. Let him come. - Come on, come on.
How will I come?
Your security guard is standing here with a stick!
How will the writer come forward?
- Let him come, brother. - Come.
- Brother, get rid of the stick. - Put away the stick.
Why are you crying?
Hey!
Brother.
Brother, no.
Why are you crying, bhaisahab?
I've tried really hard to meet you guys!
I've been trying for a long time!
I've been friends with your driver for six months
and yet you've never met me!
I have helped your cook a lot.
I tutored his kids for three months and he still couldn’t get you to meet me.
I got my sister-in-law married to your gardener.
I still couldn't meet you.
So you met them now, right? Why are you crying now?
These are tears of joy.
You’re not going to leave me high and dry.
We will celebrate happiness today.
How will you celebrate?
Stop!
Wow!
Are you ever going to stop dancing?
Are you a writer or a dancer?
I'm just a happy man, sir.
It's the Bhojpuri songs, you see.
One song shakes up the whole system!
Forget Zumba, start doing this.
I’m out of breath.
Can I get some juice, please?
What?
I'd be very grateful.
Here's the juice of a white orange. Drink it.
I don't wanna drink it. Something got in my eye.
Oh!
What are you doing, bhaisahab?
Can I get a towel, please?
A towel, I said.
Yeah, we have a bedroom for you as well.
We'll give you a nice massage in there.
Who are you?
My name is Bantu Kumar Bijli from Devaria.
And I…
I am a lick-wrist!
- What? - I am a lick-wrist!
Litter-yeast?
- It's lyricist, man! - Lyricist.
Yeah, that's the one. I don't know how to pronounce it.
Writing a song is easier than saying that word.
Hey, stop it. We're on the stage. Don't cry.
Calm down.
Calm down? I live in a tiny tin box of a room.
There are six of us. There's no place to keep a cylinder.
You're telling me to have patience. Are you kidding me?
I've struggled a lot.
- You know, Manoj ji. - Yes.
I didn't have paper.
So I wrote a song on Grandpa's dhoti.
When he wore it,
my verse met his bridge.
I couldn't read it.
I can’t get any work.
I don’t know who put the baddua lipa on me.
- Like an evil eye? - Yeah.
People who get work, get Dua Lipa. People who don't, get baddua lipa.
Dua Lipa!
Listen to me, Manoj ji.
My wife is a big fan of yours.
- And I absolutely hate it. - What?
Why?
What do you mean by why?
If your wife is sleeping next to you
and keeps saying "Manoj ji, Manoj ji!" instead of "Bantu Kumar, Bantu Kumar!"
would you like it?
She really does that, Manoj ji!
Why do you think I have this mustache?
Okay.
She asked me to keep the mustache.
I said I didn’t want to, but I did it anyway.
I was worried she’d grow one if I didn’t.
Have you written anything for them?
I've written 70 for him.
Eighty for him.
And 150 for him.
That's more than 300 songs.
No, I've just written three songs.
The names of the songs are 70, 80, and 150.
Those are song titles!
Please sing one.
He's written on a laptop!
Wow.
Wait, there's a small correction.
- He is writing with a pen on a laptop. - Oh, my God.
There's paper inside the laptop.
Why aren't you using your laptop?
When you write on a laptop, it looks like everyone else’s.
- Yes. - But on paper, it feels like mine.
- Wow. - It looks unique.
Very good.
- Right? - Absolutely.
And look at this.
You won't even be able to understand this.
It'll never be stolen.
My handwriting is that bad!
One minute.
Let me fix this.
Why are you scratching your ears again and again?
I'm not scratching them. I'm filling the pen with ink.
No!
Wanna hear it?
Yes, play it.
The world is stunned to see me
I'm broke, my darling, and yet
You'll always be with me
I'll dig my way to your home
Wow!
I'll dig my way to your home
I'll dig a three-kilometer tunnel If need be
Just tell me That you'll always be with me
I'll ride two buffaloes if need be
But I'll get a ring for you
That's my style, you see
Just tell me That you'll always be with me
I'll elope with you if I have to
I'll declare a war on your father If need be
Just tell me That you'll always be with me
Wow!
The lines you've written are decent.
But the thrashing you'll get if you sing these outside will be better!
No, you'll love it if it's a part of a movie.
- You sure? - You write movies as well?
What do you mean? I've already written it.
- Already? - It's written.
No one stopped you?
It's a very good movie.
The story is really nice.
- What? - I'll tell you one line.
- Tell us in one line. - Yes.
There's a man in the movie.
- Manoj ji. - Okay.
There's a man in the movie.
Nirahua ji, there's a man in the movie.
Why do you keep repeating that?
There he goes!
He has a problem with men when they’re not dressed as women.
This is the problem.
- There are four heroines in the movie. - Yes.
- Four heroines? - Okay.
- There are four heroines in the movie. - Wow.
They all have different religions.
- Hero marries them. - That's Kapil's movie.
We've already made a movie with that story!
It's already out. It's super hit.
You've made it already?!
Yes. It has made 270 crore rupees.
I had only told this story to my gym trainer.
- Who's your trainer? - Anukalp Goswami.
He is our director.
Really? Him…
Oh, I remember!
When I was narrating the story, he'd said,
"Tell me about direction as well."
- Oh my God! - Hey!
I'm never writing a movie again!
You betrayed me!
- You stole my movie. - Hey!
You stole my movie! You've ruined everything.
I wanted Honey Singh to sing for my movie.
He has sung a song for the movie.
You copied that as well?! Damn you!
You've leaked my whole idea! Damn you! Damn this TV!
What's your car number?
It's 2652.
It's 2652. Alright.
It must be parked outside. I'll deal with you! I'll be back!
Hey!
Let's have a big round of applause for our guests.
Manoj bhaiya, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- We had fun today! - My brother…
It's always fun when you're here. Thank you, Pawan bhaiya.
- Nirahua bhaiya, you're a rockstar! - Thank you very much.
- Thank you, brother! - Please keep the applause going!
So friends, that's it for today.
We will meet again next Saturday with some new guests.
Keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show.
Every Funnyday for a fresh dose of fun!
Good night. Take care.
Thank you.
Please welcome Mr. Yuvraj Singh, Virender Sehwag, and Mohammad Kaif!
Viru paaji and Yuvi paaji have scored over 8000 runs.
But I hold Kaif bhai in high regard for his remarkable 2250 runs.
These guys hit fours and sixes with every swing.
But he has built each run, one at a time.
He's someone who clears a loan by taking on a new one.
I never listened to any coach.
Many coaches shared their thoughts
on my stance and the way I gripped my bat.
I listened to all, but I charted my own course.
Now, when I teach my kids, I just tell them,
"Your dad never listened to anyone, but at least you should."
You know, Kapil, Archana ji finds herself in a difficult situation today.
- Why? - Usually, one cricketer keeps her quiet,
but today, there are four sitting here!
Has anyone on the team had trouble with English?
It was the 2003 World Cup.
Zak took four wickets and was named Man of the Match.
Zak was asked,
"How does it feel to bowl so well, take so many wickets?"
Zak goes, "Uh, sorry?"
All he knew back then was "sorry" and "excuse me."
It warms my heart to see you guys here!
You guys really live in my heart.
All three of them?
- That's a big heart. - Absolutely.
What if more people come in?
Then we bring out the extra mattresses.