1
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,840
Start your comedy.

2
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:19,200
Love, like musk,
cannot be concealed, dude!

3
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,360
<i>Paaji,</i> please cut this part out.

4
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,240
AP Dhillon.

5
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,200
Mr. 250 kilo!

6
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,520
Son, have a drink
and stay quiet for a while.

7
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,160
Where is Kapil Sharma?
I own this place.

8
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,720
But Kapil Sharma is the owner.

9
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,800
I have hired him here as the owner.

10
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,600
I'm his uncle,

11
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,200
so I should be shown the same respect
you extend to him.

12
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,680
Not just his share.

13
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,840
I want my own respect as well.
That means double the respect.

14
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:33,800
Really?

15
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,040
And make sure

16
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,560
no one records a video
while you're showing me respect.

17
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,400
{\an8}Go.

18
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,520
- Sidhu <i>sahab.</i>
- Yes?

19
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,000
You must be thinking
this is bad for my health.

20
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,040
I know that.

21
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,360
- It contains only mouth fresheners.
- Oh God!

22
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,720
When you walk in with this in your hand,
people think you're rich.

23
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,400
- That's true!
- Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> believe me when I say this.

24
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,240
- I genuinely like you.
- Is that so?

25
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,840
You are a very honest man.

26
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,720
He was a minister for many years,

27
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,800
but he only started making real money
after coming on television.

28
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,840
Good.

29
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,960
That's absolutely right.

30
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,080
Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> you must be wondering
where I was all these years.

31
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,560
- Where were you?
- I was in Saudi Arabia.

32
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,560
I stayed there for nine years.
I worked hard and earned my money.

33
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,840
I'm extremely angry with Kapil Sharma.

34
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,240
- Oh, why?
- I send him my hard-earned money,

35
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,120
and he spends it on girls
from Poland and Russia.

36
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,000
They take that money back to their
countries, spend a bit there,

37
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,120
- and then head to Dubai.
- Okay.

38
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,960
When they began spending
the money there, I recognized it.

39
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,480
- I said, "That's my money."
- "That's my money."

40
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,360
I can tell by the folds on the currency.

41
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,640
- I see.
- Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> I keep my money in a place

42
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,160
where only I know
what kind of creases it will have.

43
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,760
Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> look.

44
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,960
You're not a stranger,
so I can tell you this.

45
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,280
I keep my money in a blouse.

46
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,560
- Whose blouse?
- Mine.

47
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,640
If a robber attacks a man,
he'll check his trousers.

48
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,920
He'd never think that

49
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,800
- a man could be wearing a blouse.
- A blouse!

50
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,320
That's my strategy.

51
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,560
- And I'm very upset today.
- Why?

52
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,320
- He even lied about you, Archana<i> ji.</i>
- What?

53
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,400
He collects a salary from me
in your name.

54
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,600
He told me, "Archana<i> ji</i> makes naan
on the tandoor."

55
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:23,920
Really?

56
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,080
Your salary is 12,800 rupees.

57
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,840
Last month, he took
an extra thousand from me.

58
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,920
- Why?
- He said it's been four days since Diwali,

59
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,880
but every time I meet her,
she still wishes me, "Happy Diwali!"

60
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,640
So far, he has taken 1,000 rupees.

61
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,320
But…

62
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,560
- Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> I must tell you…
- Please.

63
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,960
I've had a crush
on Archana <i>ji</i> for a long time.

64
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,120
The way you grab her hand and laugh

65
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,440
makes me want to put a scorpion
in your pants.

66
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,920
I just can't stand it.

67
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,080
You may not believe this, Archana<i> ji,</i>

68
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,120
but I first saw you in 1997,
in Madh Island.

69
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,680
You were arguing with a fisherwoman
over five or ten rupees.

70
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,080
Was I?

71
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,640
- You were not wearing any makeup.
- So?

72
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,000
Still, I didn't look away. I thought,
"If this is love, why fear it?"

73
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,240
I kept staring at you.

74
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,800
- I love you!
- So…

75
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,720
I still remember the day you married

76
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,000
Parmeet Sethi <i>sahab.</i>

77
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,240
- I couldn't stop crying that night.
- Why?

78
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,120
Someone told me, "Why are you crying?"

79
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,480
"The man whose car she left in
should be the one crying."

80
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,920
So I…

81
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,200
I thought, let him cry.

82
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,080
But I'm still in love with you.

83
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,320
- I swear.
- Oh, thank you.

84
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:48,680
Oh my God!

85
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,640
What are you doing here?

86
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,280
I was looking for you at the liquor shop.

87
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,200
Sweetheart, do not call it that.

88
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,720
We are at the airport.
It's called duty-free.

89
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,720
- Okay.
- Just like you're beauty-free.

90
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,760
Sidhu <i>sahab,</i>
everyone in life has a better half.

91
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,480
- Yes.
- She is my half.

92
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,040
- Not better…
- The better one is sitting beside you!

93
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,520
Let me tell you,

94
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,200
- I heard everything from back there.
- Okay.

95
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,840
You spent all that time
praising Archana<i> ji.</i>

96
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,680
Could you not spare even two lines for me?

97
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,440
How could I?
Even one line would be too long for you.

98
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,480
Hear me out.

99
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,520
People talk about love at first sight,

100
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,000
but I fell in love with her
without even seeing her.

101
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,160
- Really?
- Really?

102
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,120
I mean, after seeing her,
even you know that…

103
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,440
- When I went to see her…
- She's feeling shy.

104
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,400
the man who introduced us,
the marriage broker…

105
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,920
- Broker!
- Marriage parlor.

106
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:46,320
He told me…

107
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,960
- Marriage parlor!
- she is her father's only daughter.

108
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,600
And she owns a four-bedroom apartment.

109
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,560
- So that's why…
- Four bedrooms. Yes.

110
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,480
Right then, I became
a fan of their family values.

111
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,760
I see!

112
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,080
You will not believe this.
Every room has a balcony.

113
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,000
Okay.

114
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,960
I loved it and agreed
to the marriage immediately.

115
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,440
They said, "At least come
and see our daughter."

116
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,880
I said, "Forget that.
Just show me the parking space."

117
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,160
- You know…
- The parking space!

118
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,240
I didn't even see her face.

119
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,360
But on the first night,

120
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,800
when I lifted her veil
and saw her for the first time,

121
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,840
I realized that
money isn't everything in life.

122
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,560
There's also something called humanity.

123
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,280
And if you ever get the chance,
you should see humanity's face as well.

124
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,680
- I love you, darling.
- Thank you.

125
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,720
He's very loving too.

126
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,760
Archana<i> ji,</i>
I've been divorced three times,

127
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,320
but he never once asked me about it.

128
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,080
Three divorces?!

129
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,160
Hold on, you only mentioned two.

130
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,720
- Officially, there are only two.
- Okay.

131
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,000
The third one died, Sidhu <i>sahab.</i>

132
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,000
- Oh!
- How did he die?

133
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,920
He refused to sign the divorce papers.

134
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,160
- So?
- So I drank poison and licked him clean.

135
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,720
You drank poison,
and nothing happened to you?

136
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,640
Oh, it did.
It cleared out my stomach completely.

137
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,360
Oh my God!

138
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,440
It surely must have been
that man's fault,

139
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,440
because this one's an absolute cutie.
What can I say?

140
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,440
- What?
- I…

141
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,960
The two of us travel a lot.
Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> once we were out for a walk.

142
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,280
She was on the other side of the road.

143
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,080
The moment she saw a truck
heading her way,

144
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,880
she immediately hopped onto my shoulder.

145
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,000
At no point did she look
anything like a monkey!

146
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,360
Not at all.

147
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,320
That's how cute she is!

148
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,960
Sidhu <i>sahab,</i>
when you find the right partner,

149
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,040
- Yes.
- the perfect wife,

150
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,480
the path ahead becomes
a beautiful journey.

151
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,000
I don't even see her as my wife.

152
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,800
I see her as my childhood friend
Bhupinder, just with a shave.

153
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,520
I mean…

154
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,200
She's that lovely.

155
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,360
We are always going
on adventures, Sidhu <i>sahab.</i>

156
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,400
Just a few days ago, we were in Lonavala.

157
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,000
What she does is take tourists' glasses

158
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,520
and then climb up a tree.

159
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,960
Then I collect 50 rupees from them,

160
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,920
give her a signal, and she
tosses the glasses back down.

161
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,360
We earn money too.

162
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,800
To those watching from afar, it just
looks like a monkey perched in a tree.

163
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,720
Wait, I don't understand
what's up with you!

164
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,600
One minute you're saying I look like
a monkey, the next you're saying I don't.

165
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,240
Sweetheart, you don't look like one to me.

166
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,600
But the others didn't get
an apartment, right?

167
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,840
So to them, you look like one.

168
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,720
He's quite loving as well.

169
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,400
- He keeps making me laugh like that.
- Like how?

170
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:25,720
You know, he struggled a lot.

171
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,800
- A lot.
- You know, when he was a child,

172
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,720
a cat once grabbed him by the neck
and carried him away.

173
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,120
Even today, he wakes up in the middle
of the night and licks his hands.

174
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,680
Sidhu <i>sahab,</i> sometimes
I wake up at night to drink water

175
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,960
and see her sleeping beside me.

176
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,840
Then I think it's better
to lick my own hands.

177
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:47,480
What a blessing.

178
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,240
You start anywhere at all!

179
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,760
And you're done
before you've even started!

180
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,160
<i>Final call for passengers flying to Bali.</i>

181
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,400
Hey, our flight has been announced!
Come on, hurry!

182
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,040
Sidhu <i>sahab, </i>we're going
on our honeymoon for the first time.

183
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,200
- Really?
- Yes, that's true.

184
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,760
We have nine children, but we
never found the time for a honeymoon.

185
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,160
Humans are such selfish creatures.

186
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,880
We spend our entire lives
chasing money and comfort,

187
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,240
but we cannot

188
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,720
- make time for our partners.
- Yes.

189
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,240
Today, we're finally
going on our honeymoon.

190
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,080
I'm going to take her out all the time.
We haven't even booked a hotel.

191
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,960
I plan to take her out day and night.

192
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,880
I'll wear her out completely.

193
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:32,000
And once I wear her down to this size,

194
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,120
I'll slip her into an envelope
and use her as a paperweight.

195
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,280
Hurry up! Let's go!

196
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,960
- I don't want to miss our honeymoon!
- I love my wife, Sidhu <i>sahab.</i>

197
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,200
- I can…
- She is the love of my life.

198
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,200
One last time,
tell me if you want her.

199
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,560
- Just say yes!
- Well, alright, Sidhu <i>sahab.</i>

200
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,880
It's so good to see you
after so many years.

201
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,640
And my first crush.

202
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,240
Bye!

203
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,800
- Let's go, darling.
- Love you!

204
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,120
This way.

205
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,160
<i>Attention, all passengers.</i>

206
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,280
<i>The flight from Canada</i>
<i>has landed at Manmarzi Airport.</i>

207
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,520
<i>Please get ready to welcome</i>
<i>your favorite star, AP Dhillon.</i>

208
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,760
Beautiful!

209
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,880
Let's hear it for AP <i>paaji!</i>

210
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,280
<i>Paaji,</i> welcome!

211
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,200
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

212
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:30,240
AP! AP! AP!

213
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,640
AP <i>paaji, </i>welcome to our show.

214
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,360
That was such a beautiful song.

215
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,640
As you all know,
that was an unreleased track,

216
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,680
performed exclusively for our show.
Thank you so much, <i>paaji.</i>

217
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,000
So tell us,

218
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,200
was the song choice spontaneous,

219
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,600
or had you planned to sing it on a show
that reaches 192 countries?

220
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,720
What was the thinking behind it?

221
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,240
- My grandmother is a huge fan of yours.
- Oh, thank you.

222
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:03,400
So, I wanted to dedicate this song to her.

223
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,040
And…

224
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,280
you can dedicate this song

225
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,680
to anyone you love or hold dear.

226
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,840
Amid our busy lives,

227
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,040
- we often miss the chance to talk to…
- Right.

228
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,680
or call our dear ones.

229
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,320
And I knew she wouldn't miss this episode,

230
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,160
- no matter what.
- How sweet.

231
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,360
Singing in your regional language

232
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,360
and reaching a stage where you perform
all over the world

233
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,400
is truly exceptional, <i>paaji.</i>
Incredible!

234
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,560
- This is all God's grace.
- Absolutely, <i>paaji.</i>

235
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,200
- God's blessings.
- God's grace. Yeah.

236
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:40,160
So many people come
to Mumbai chasing their dreams,

237
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,960
hoping to sing in films
and gain worldwide recognition.

238
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,640
He, however, left Gurdaspur
for a foreign country.

239
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,760
There, he struggled, worked hard,

240
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,720
created his music,
became internationally famous,

241
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,560
and has now come to Mumbai
to perform live shows.

242
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,560
- Wow!
- Incredible!

243
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,400
- A full circle moment.
- Full circle.

244
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:00,880
Also…

245
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,560
"Brown Munde" was the first song of his
that I heard.

246
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,320
It became a youth anthem.

247
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,400
It has been played so many times
that if you added up all the views

248
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,480
and played the song on a loop,

249
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,400
it would take 4,000 years to finish!

250
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,320
Wow!

251
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,800
Now think about this.
The world's oldest civilization,

252
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,000
Mesopotamia, is about 4,000 years old.

253
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,680
He has taken his music that far.
It's incredible!

254
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:30,040
<i>Paaji,</i> when your song
first crossed millions of views…

255
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,880
- Yeah?
- did you believe it,

256
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,280
or did you think Justin Bieber's
Wi-Fi got connected by mistake?

257
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,240
What were you feeling back then?

258
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,840
<i>Paaji,</i> I was so focused on work
that I didn't even notice.

259
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,160
And…

260
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,600
I was just as happy
when I got ten thousand views.

261
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,760
- Wow.
- I was happy because

262
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,320
I thought even ten thousand people
listening to me was amazing.

263
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,320
Even when a thousand people listened--

264
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,320
You might not have noticed,

265
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,520
but all the single girls
noticed you closely.

266
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,920
They noticed you all right.

267
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,120
You're the biggest temptation
among the bachelors.

268
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,920
See that, Archana <i>ji?</i>
You just keep working.

269
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,560
Don't sit there counting views.
"Oh, it's 112 now."

270
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,840
And the next second, "Oh, 112.75!"

271
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,160
She even counts half a view.

272
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,480
- Curse you!
- Just keep working!

273
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,080
<i>Paaji,</i> now that you're such a superstar,

274
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,720
everyone wants you to come
to their house for dinner.

275
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,120
But hear me out.
If Archana <i>ji</i> invites you to dinner,

276
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,520
just say no.

277
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,640
After dinner,
she won't just make you foot the bill.

278
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,400
She'll also tell the hotel owner,
"I brought AP here. Pay me for that."

279
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,400
She'll take her cut.

280
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,880
You just gave me a great idea!

281
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,200
- She'll bring AP…
- And after your meal,

282
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:47,440
her husband will show up, and she'll say,
"What a surprise! How come you're here?"

283
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,160
Just so you know, he reaches
the venue a day in advance.

284
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,920
Just letting my brother know.

285
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,640
Don't let anyone fool you, <i>paaji.</i>
You're our guest.

286
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,200
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

287
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,840
Sidhu <i>paaji,</i>
let me tell you one more thing.

288
00:16:58,920 --> 00:16:59,880
- Go ahead.
- Look at the connection.

289
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,360
We're from Amritsar,
and <i>paaji </i>has been an MP from there.

290
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,000
<i>Paaji</i> is from Gurdaspur,
the same region.

291
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,960
- There's another connection too.
- What?

292
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:06,960
Malaika Arora…

293
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,440
Wait, hear me out!

294
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,000
Hear me out, Sidhu <i>sahab!</i>

295
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,720
Love, like musk,
cannot be concealed, dude!

296
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,200
Let me finish.

297
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,560
I was saying that even Malaika Arora
is a big fan of his.

298
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,400
Not just hers alone.

299
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,000
Someone else's too.

300
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,600
That's…

301
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,320
- That's what he's saying.
- He finally admitted it.

302
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,520
- He said it.
- That's what I was saying.

303
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,080
She is AP <i>paaji's</i> childhood love,

304
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,800
and Sidhu <i>paaji's </i>midlife love.

305
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,880
Midlife love!

306
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,480
<i>Paaji,</i> come on, let's hear a few lines
for my brother here.

307
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,720
Let's hear it, <i>paaji.</i>

308
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,840
<i>Seeing you, I learned how real gold gleams</i>

309
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,840
- Wow!
- Bravo!

310
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,240
<i>Seeing you, girls sigh</i>
<i>Lost in quiet dreams</i>

311
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,760
<i>You have stirred</i>
<i>The whole wide world so hard</i>

312
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,480
<i>Even Trump Googles "Brown Munde" off guard</i>

313
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,920
- Bravo!
- Incredible! Wow!

314
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,280
Son, Punjabis are Punjabis!

315
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,320
Nobody stands a chance.
Even Trump can go suck on a sugarcane!

316
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,720
Suck on a sugarcane!

317
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,360
<i>Paaji, </i>you have worked so hard.

318
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,520
After moving to Canada, I'm sure
you picked up plenty of work at first.

319
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,640
I want to ask you, what was tougher,

320
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,920
making and releasing your first track,

321
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,640
or getting a visa?

322
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,680
The toughest moment was

323
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,200
right after I landed,

324
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,080
- with nowhere to stay.
- Okay.

325
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,280
My dad gave me some money.

326
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,240
I didn't grow up with a silver spoon.

327
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,160
When I reached there,

328
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,200
- I didn't have a credit card.
- Okay.

329
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,760
So I went to a hotel and said,
"I'd like to stay here."

330
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,080
"I have this much cash."

331
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,960
They asked for my credit card,
and I said, "What's that?"

332
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,200
"What the hell is that?"

333
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,040
- I had never heard of it in Punjab.
- Yeah. Never.

334
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,680
So, they refused to give me a room.

335
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,880
I had two suitcases,

336
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,400
so I stepped outside
and slept right in front of the hotel.

337
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,720
- I see.
- I had severe jet lag.

338
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,960
The agent booked

339
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,040
a flight with five stopovers!

340
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,160
Five stopovers?!

341
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,080
Somehow, the first night passed.

342
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,280
On the second night,
while I was still there,

343
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,840
a girl came up to me.
By the grace of God.

344
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:39,920
Okay.

345
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,320
She said, "You don't look homeless."

346
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,480
"Why are you sleeping outside?"

347
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:49,200
I told her I didn't have a credit card,
so they wouldn't give me a room.

348
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,800
She went to her boyfriend

349
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,840
and asked for his card.

350
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,120
He came to me and said, "Bro,
please don't steal or break anything."

351
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,440
"They'll charge me."
I said, "No chance, bro."

352
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,520
- Was that girl Indian or a foreigner?
- Indian.

353
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,040
- Okay.
- She was from Calgary.

354
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:09,360
- Indians are generous at heart.
- Yeah. The couple was from Calgary.

355
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,320
Then college began,

356
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,400
and over time, I found work.
Eventually, I even got a credit card.

357
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,240
- And then…
- But through…

358
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,320
talented people like you,
God also sends a message.

359
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,320
And that message is that

360
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,480
- struggle is the jewel of life.
- Absolutely.

361
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,800
- Every day brings a new challenge…
- Yeah.

362
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,000
and every day life says…

363
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,600
<i>Learn to walk before you try to lead</i>

364
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,720
<i>Learn to burn before you try to ignite</i>

365
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,840
<i>Your dream will bloom</i>
<i>Into a flower one day</i>

366
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,120
<i>But first, learn to fade into the soil</i>

367
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,040
Wow.

368
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,600
The struggle will continue.

369
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,520
AP <i>paaji,</i> there was a time

370
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,600
when you didn't
even have a place to stay…

371
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,280
- Yeah.
- and someone stepped in to help you.

372
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,840
- And today…
- Yeah.

373
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,960
millions of people are your fans.
What goes through your mind now?

374
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,880
As Sidhu <i>paaji </i>said,
just keep working hard.

375
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,240
I worked at gas stations
and convenience stores.

376
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,040
My last job was at Best Buy.

377
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,880
I used to work ten to twelve hours
a day, and then head to college.

378
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,280
I had to manage rent, food,
and everything else too.

379
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,440
The house I lived in

380
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,480
had a small garage,

381
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,560
- just big enough to park one car.
- Okay. Right.

382
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,800
I rented a room there.

383
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,280
I saved some money
and went to Home Depot.

384
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,080
I built a…

385
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,760
ten-by-six room myself using plywood…

386
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:39,120
- I see.
- Wow!

387
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,560
and added a door.
Slowly, I started buying equipment

388
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,080
and learning the craft.

389
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,000
I always knew I wanted
to make a song like this,

390
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,360
with this kind of soundscape,
but I didn't know how to achieve it.

391
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,280
But I didn't give up.

392
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,960
I taught myself how to mix and master,

393
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,040
and I created this new sound

394
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,160
that you all showed so much love to.

395
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,880
- That's an incredible achievement.
- So proud of you,<i> paaji.</i>

396
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,960
Come on, <i>paaji.</i>
Have a seat.

397
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,680
I'd like to call
one more person up on stage.

398
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,080
Who?

399
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,720
Someone who has been traveling the world
and making people laugh.

400
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,520
My brother and a youth icon.

401
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,680
Please welcome the very talented
stand-up comedian and actor,

402
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,000
Mr. Anubhav Singh Bassi.

403
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,800
Come on, Bassi!

404
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,600
Bassi <i>sahab, aadab.</i>

405
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,200
A huge round of applause for Bassi!

406
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,560
Bassi! Bassi! Bassi!

407
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,120
Thank you so much.

408
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,800
Tonight, we have two global stars
on this stage.

409
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,560
AP Dhillon and Kapil Sharma.
What would you like to say?

410
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,040
Bassi, my love!
I'm so proud of you, bro!

411
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,560
A few years ago,
when I used to call Bassi

412
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,840
and ask where he was, he would say,
<i>"Paaji,</i> I'm in Meerut for a show."

413
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,600
"Where are you now, Bassi?"
"Greater Noida."

414
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,080
"And now?"
"Gurugram."

415
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,520
Today he said,
"Bro, I just flew in from Glasgow."

416
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,880
- Bassi <i>sahab,</i> you look incredibly fit!
- Yes, <i>paaji.</i>

417
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,360
There are only two reasons for that.

418
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,960
- Either you're dating someone…
- Yeah.

419
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,560
or you're doing a film like me.

420
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,160
So, what is it?

421
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,720
<i>- Paaji,</i> I got into shape for a film.
- Okay.

422
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,480
In the middle of the shoot,
they asked me

423
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,800
to get fit because there was a scene
where I had to go shirtless.

424
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,560
I got fit and ready, and then they told me
the scene had been dropped.

425
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,560
They shot what they needed
with Ranbir <i>bhai.</i>

426
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,120
I was already fit, so I thought

427
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,640
I would stay that way.
It might help with the next movie.

428
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,960
But the next movie never came,<i> paaji.</i>

429
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,840
So I've basically stayed fit
for the last three years.

430
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,120
Films will be chasing you soon.

431
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,280
Welcome to the show.
Let's hear it for both my brothers!

432
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,240
Bassi <i>paaji,</i>
when did you first meet AP <i>paaji?</i>

433
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,400
Just 30 minutes ago.

434
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,040
I messaged him on Instagram yesterday.
He didn't even reply.

435
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,280
I only found out yesterday that we were
meeting today, so I sent him a message.

436
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,400
- So…
- But you've heard his music, right?

437
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:09,320
I have, <i>paaji.</i>

438
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,800
And you have seen his stand-up?

439
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,560
- I don't think so.
- Well, you…

440
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,680
He has no idea.

441
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,440
So you became friends
just for this episode?

442
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,040
Not even that. After the episode,
we'll each go our own way.

443
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,840
It's all good. <i>Bhai,</i> don't move this.
They sign our checks.

444
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:27,760
Okay.

445
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,240
I've been here a few times.
It's his first time.

446
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,240
Yes.

447
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,040
But this is your first time
on our Netflix show, right?

448
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,360
It's my first time here. <i>Paaji </i>wasn't
present the last few times I came.

449
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,320
Anyone would show up back then.

450
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,920
Do you know AP <i>paaji</i>
is about to start his tour?

451
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,240
Bassi <i>sahab </i>has just finished his.

452
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,720
Bassi, when you were just starting out,

453
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,160
you'd get calls for shows
in places like Pilibhit.

454
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,040
Now you're getting calls from Barcelona
and places like that.

455
00:24:58,120 --> 00:24:59,600
Don't you find that funny?

456
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,880
<i>Paaji,</i> when they used to call with offers,

457
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,240
for the longest time,
it didn't even feel real.

458
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,000
But back then, we had the attitude
that we would make it on our own.

459
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,720
Don't call us.
We'll sell the tickets and come to you.

460
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,800
Thank God I managed to sell those tickets.

461
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:13,880
Otherwise, it would have been embarrassing

462
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,040
because they wouldn't have
invited us again.

463
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,680
AP <i>paaji, </i>you started

464
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,040
- straight with arena shows, right?
- Yeah.

465
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:26,720
What was it like
performing in such a huge arena?

466
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,680
I had never even been
to a music concert before.

467
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,200
- You hadn't seen anyone else perform?
- No, I hadn't.

468
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,080
- He just did it.
- So, I did my own show--

469
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,360
The first music concert I ever attended
was my own.

470
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,080
So, we winged it.

471
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:41,840
Okay.

472
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:46,760
Honestly, none of us really knew
how anything worked.

473
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,760
So now, when we sit down
and talk about old times,

474
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,680
we just laugh about it.
We made it through.

475
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,760
<i>- Paaji,</i> about your upcoming tour…
- Yes.

476
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,760
we heard the most expensive ticket
costs 600,000 rupees.

477
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,400
So-- Yes!

478
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,280
- AP <i>paaji </i>will explain it.
- Do you perform at their house?

479
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,080
But the audience…

480
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,440
- People were asking…
- Really? 600,000?!

481
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,880
if the person who buys that ticket
gets picked up from home by you.

482
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,840
- That's what I asked him.
- Do they sit in the audience

483
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,040
or on stage with you?

484
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,040
No, no.

485
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,920
- They'll just enjoy the music--
- Is that how you pay for your jet?

486
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:19,960
Jet!

487
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,080
No,<i> paaji. </i>Sometimes people
come with their entire family,

488
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,320
book a full table,
and enjoy the show together.

489
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,080
- Yes.
- I have been to his concerts.

490
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,320
The arenas are packed, people are dancing,
and having a great time.

491
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,400
- So, <i>paaji,</i> all the best for the tour.
- Thank you.

492
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,440
- People are really excited about it.
- Thank you, <i>paaji.</i>

493
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,360
Thank you.

494
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,360
At one of AP <i>paaji's</i> concerts,

495
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,000
we heard that

496
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,960
more than fifty phones

497
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,720
and a few wallets
were stolen from the crowd.

498
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,440
He was performing on stage,
while someone else put on a show below.

499
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,320
Chances are, he wasn't alone.
It even hit the headlines.

500
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:57,760
He probably came with his own entourage.

501
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,200
He paid 600,000,
so he had to recover his money.

502
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,920
Once, when AP <i>paaji </i>was coming to Mumbai,

503
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,880
I said he'd probably be
caught up with his shows,

504
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,600
so he should give me
a team member's number.

505
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,080
That way, I could coordinate
and reach the venue.

506
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:13,440
He sent me Kevin's number.

507
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,520
When I saw the name Kevin,
I didn't message him.

508
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,400
I thought I would say hello,

509
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,160
but what if he replied
and I couldn't understand him?

510
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,600
- What is Kevin's full name, <i>paaji?</i>
- Kuljeet Singh.

511
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,800
It's nice to hear that
you're Kuljeet Singh, <i>paaji.</i>

512
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,560
Can you speak Punjabi?

513
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,000
A little. I try.

514
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,960
What time do you usually forget it?

515
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,320
I mean…

516
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,280
You were born and raised in Canada.
Let's talk in English, bro.

517
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,080
Yes, I was born in Canada.

518
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,800
My parents never called me Kuljeet,

519
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,280
so I go by Kevin. They…

520
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,680
- I don't understand this kind of English.
- Yes.

521
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,160
"My parents are from Amritsar."
I get that.

522
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,440
But in his case,
half the sentence disappears.

523
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,680
- My parents are from Jalandhar--
- We've struggled to learn English.

524
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,040
We skip nothing.

525
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,680
- Your parents are from Jalandhar?
- Yes,<i> paaji?</i>

526
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:04,160
My parents are from Jalandhar,
and they don't speak English either.

527
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,600
- But you were born there?
- Yeah.

528
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:07,680
Toronto.

529
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,400
They always skip the "T" in Toronto.

530
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,880
- Toronto.
- Say it again, sir.

531
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,040
- Toronto.
- Toronto.

532
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:15,120
Toronto.

533
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,600
What's wrong with them?
Why can't they say "To-ron-to"?

534
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,040
It can get confusing sometimes,<i> paaji.</i>

535
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,960
You understand what they mean,
but the accent…

536
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:25,680
- Yes.
- throws you off.

537
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,960
Once I was thirsty and said,
"I need water."

538
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:31,920
I said, "Forget it."

539
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,120
"I don't need it anymore."
I just did this…

540
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:35,960
I said, "I'm good."

541
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,160
That happens sometimes.

542
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,920
- Welcome, <i>paaji.</i>
- Thank you.

543
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,160
I'd love to talk more,
but I'm struggling to get the words out.

544
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:45,080
Likewise.

545
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,200
Thank you for taking care of my bro.

546
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,800
No problem. Thank you.

547
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,680
In AP <i>paaji's</i> new song, "Old Money,"

548
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,440
Salman Khan <i>sahab</i>
and Sanjay Dutt <i>sahab</i> appear together.

549
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,160
<i>Paaji,</i> if you tried to cast them
together in a film,

550
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,440
their schedules would never align.

551
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,560
And even if their schedules did align,
the budget wouldn't.

552
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,120
How were you able to bring
both of them together for the video?

553
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,440
I…

554
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:14,200
I really love old-school Bollywood action.

555
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,440
I always wanted to do something

556
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,040
in that style.

557
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,120
And there are only two actors who truly

558
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,400
fit that gangster action vibe.

559
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:30,600
So I picked up the phone, called <i>bhai,</i>
and said, "I have an idea for a video."

560
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,000
"Would you like to hear it?"

561
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:35,080
He said, "Just tell me when you want
to shoot. I don't need to hear the idea."

562
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,200
- Oh, sweet.
- I said, "Okay."

563
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,160
Bassi, tell me,

564
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,400
since you travel overseas so much,

565
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,200
have you ever had a strange experience?

566
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:48,120
<i>Paaji,</i> my team gives me
strange experiences even here.

567
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,240
Whenever I try
to reach my team from the stage--

568
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,520
They all chew <i>paan </i>masala.

569
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,840
So they can hear me from the stage,
but they can't respond properly.

570
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,920
No matter what I ask,
all I hear back is a loud humming sound.

571
00:29:59,000 --> 00:29:59,880
I'm like, "What?"

572
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,400
How can every question
have the same answer?

573
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,760
Bassi, I recently watched
one of your YouTube videos

574
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,560
where a guy was probably drunk
at your show.

575
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,400
You were having fun with him,
but he just wouldn't let it go.

576
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,040
<i>Paaji,</i> there's a thing
in Delhi and Gurugram.

577
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,640
People who sell their property quickly…

578
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:19,720
Yes!

579
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,560
- suddenly lose all sense…
- Near an upcoming highway.

580
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,680
Exactly.
Whenever a new highway gets approved,

581
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,520
and someone sells their land,
they completely lose track

582
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,600
of how much to drink or what to buy.

583
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,600
There were three guys at the show,

584
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,440
and they started drinking wine.

585
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,520
Just one look, and it was clear
wine was not their thing.

586
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:40,440
Okay.

587
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,480
We all know the kind of people
who usually drink wine.

588
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,440
At the very least,

589
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,080
if you've seen movies, you know
wine is poured into a glass.

590
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,640
- Yes. How were they drinking it?
- Chugging it directly.

591
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:52,720
Straight from the bottle?

592
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,480
So I figured he'd just sold his land
and had no clue what to do with the money.

593
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,360
They totally lose it.

594
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,600
Sometimes it gets genuinely scary, <i>paaji.</i>

595
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:05,880
When we first toured the US in 2007,
right after<i> Laughter Challenge,</i>

596
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,240
it was our very first show there.

597
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,400
We had never seen arenas before.

598
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,520
It was a round stage
with the audience all around us.

599
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,200
If I faced one side,
there was an entire crowd behind me.

600
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:18,400
When people in the front laughed,
those at the back started heckling.

601
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,160
I realized I had to interact with them,
or it wouldn't stop.

602
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,880
One of our friends went on stage.

603
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,200
He thought he would
start interacting right away.

604
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,000
There was a man sitting in the first row.

605
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,200
My friend asked him,
"What's your name?"

606
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:31,560
The guy…

607
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,000
who was at least six large drinks in…

608
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:37,840
just stared at him.

609
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:39,680
My friend goes,
"Bro, what's your name?"

610
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,480
The man said, "Start your comedy."

611
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,120
That guy-- It would
send chills down anyone's spine.

612
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,920
- "Start your comedy."
- Right?

613
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,760
When I first started getting
some recognition in Delhi,

614
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,720
I was getting paid about
6,000 rupees per show.

615
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,640
One venue offered me 8,000 to perform.

616
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,640
They set up a stage in the restaurant,

617
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:01,960
right by the bar,

618
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,040
and the patrons had no idea
a show was happening.

619
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:05,080
Oh my God!

620
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,760
Only the restaurant's owner and I knew
about the stand-up show that night.

621
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,080
- Then?
- At 7:00 p.m.,

622
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,240
they told me the mic stand was ready
and asked me to start.

623
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,400
Oh my God!

624
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,480
I had already taken the money
and spent it.

625
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,200
I didn't have the option to return it.

626
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,080
I went on stage and said,
"We're going to start stand-up comedy."

627
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:25,320
Everyone looked at me briefly

628
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,480
and then went right back
to their conversations.

629
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,280
I kept performing anyway.
After about five to seven minutes,

630
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,200
an elderly man stood up

631
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,200
and walked toward me,
holding a glass of beer.

632
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:35,280
He handed it to me.

633
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,280
I thought he must have liked the joke.

634
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,000
He said, "Son, have a drink
and stay quiet for a while."

635
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,160
I said, "Uncle,
I have already taken the money."

636
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,120
"I still have about twenty minutes left.
I'll leave after that."

637
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,600
He said, "I'll pay them.
You leave right now."

638
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,560
Yes, friends! Yeah!

639
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:26,320
Yeah!

640
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,440
How are you, friends?

641
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:32,560
It's wonderful to see you all.
Thank you so much.

642
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,600
Yeah! I would like to say
a couple of lines.

643
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:39,080
<i>If a friend comes over at night</i>
<i>Serve drinks, not tea</i>

644
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,040
<i>If a friend comes over at night</i>
<i>Serve drinks, not tea</i>

645
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,880
<i>No matter how close the friendship is</i>
<i>Keep him away from your lady</i>

646
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:50,920
You're right!

647
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,440
Friends,

648
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,800
today, in the presence of Raja Sidhu <i>sahab</i>
and Rani Archana<i> ji,</i>

649
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,600
Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra
proprietor, Diamond Raja,

650
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,320
welcomes you. Yes.

651
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,640
We are Delhi's seventh-best orchestra.

652
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,040
Oh, wow!

653
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,120
Oh, my! Good!

654
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,120
Wow! Hello!

655
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,280
- Very nice to meet you.
- Same here.

656
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,560
Let's honor them.
Come on.

657
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:33,680
This is for you.

658
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,680
"This is for you."

659
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,720
- This is for you.
- Thank you.

660
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,320
"This is for you."

661
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,480
- Thank you.
- We host plenty of guests,

662
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,120
but there are just two trophies.
Take them with you.

663
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:54,520
Please.

664
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,080
- Even the shawl?
- Are you taking the shawl too?

665
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,040
It works as a blanket at night.

666
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,720
It belongs to my grandparents.

667
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:03,880
- Please have a seat.
- Thank you.

668
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,920
- Have a seat. Wow.
- Thank you,<i> paaji.</i>

669
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,920
You two came together.

670
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,960
That feels really good. Very nice.

671
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,120
Great. It's so nice to see you both.

672
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,080
- Kapil, can I have a quick word?
- Yes.

673
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,120
What was the idea behind
inviting this duo?

674
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,320
What do you mean?

675
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,040
Are they brothers?

676
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,520
Are they working on a movie together?

677
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,160
Are they childhood friends?
How did you pair them?

678
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:27,320
They're both youth icons,
that's why I put them together.

679
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,760
I thought you paired them
because of their beards.

680
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,560
- Because of their beards?!
- So what if they have beards?

681
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:38,080
If you don't mind,
may I compliment your beards?

682
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:39,200
- Sure.
- Please don't.

683
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,600
Why would they mind if you
complimented their beards?

684
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,440
Well, I complimented my sister-in-law's
beard once, and she got offended.

685
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,040
- She has a little beard too.
- Sister-in-law's beard!

686
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,120
Is that your sister-in-law
on the drums back there?

687
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,120
Hey, you even look like her.

688
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,080
But his beard is a bit shorter than hers.

689
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,120
I want to give you both some advice.

690
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,880
I know someone who can style your beard,
and you'll love it.

691
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,640
I mean, he's so good

692
00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,320
that he can even make a round face

693
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,560
look like it has a jawline.

694
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:23,640
Really? Who is that?

695
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,880
Diamond Raja, Beard Counselor.

696
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,720
You style people's beards too?

697
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,320
I don't style them.
I'm a counselor.

698
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,600
- Counseling is an important job.
- Advice.

699
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,240
- Counseling requires vision.
- Vision, yes!

700
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,360
Like Steve Jobs had a vision.

701
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,680
He didn't box the phones himself.

702
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,160
- Box the phones…
- I have a vision for beards.

703
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,240
- Your own mustache is upside down.
- Yours is upside down.

704
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:51,840
The baker doesn't eat his own cake.

705
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:55,920
Why are you here?

706
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,960
I'm here to give you
the biggest lesson of your life.

707
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,080
- Wow.
- Go ahead.

708
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,160
I guarantee you've never seen
a bigger lesson than this.

709
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:06,160
- What…
- Take a look. It's from Moga, Amritsar.

710
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:07,280
It's a <i>lehsun.</i>

711
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,240
Have you seen a bigger <i>lehsun</i> than this?

712
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,680
I thought you were here to give a lesson,
but this is a <i>lehsun.</i>

713
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,240
I can also do a bit of comedy.

714
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,560
What lesson can I give him?

715
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,560
He spent two years studying law,

716
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,000
and the next six
turning it into jokes for us.

717
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:27,560
What lesson can I give?

718
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,960
All I want is for you

719
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,880
to have a side business after you retire.

720
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,720
That's it, really.

721
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,960
I have no other wish.

722
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,280
I know a man who used to
snack on cashews with his drinks.

723
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:47,480
Then life happened, times changed,
and today it's just radish with salt.

724
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,040
Where did you pull that radish from?

725
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,560
Well, we all know about radishes, right?

726
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:01,760
We do.

727
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,560
One man eats it,
and the whole neighborhood smells it.

728
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,840
I'm a little worried
about your retirement.

729
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,800
So, here's my card. Diamond Raja,

730
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,360
Side Business Expert
for Singers and Comedians.

731
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,720
Very well. We'll need two cards, <i>paaji.</i>

732
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,040
- Here you go, <i>bhai.</i>
- Here's more

733
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,200
- for the other comedians.
- Okay.

734
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,760
Then you should keep one too, <i>paaji.</i>

735
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,000
Good one, Bassi!

736
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,920
Good one!

737
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,880
Wow! Nice one!

738
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,480
What's the business?
Share your ideas.

739
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:45,240
I'm not sure what I should suggest.

740
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,520
What could work?

741
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,000
Buy a leaf plate-making machine.

742
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:56,240
- What's that?
- The plates you use at community feasts.

743
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,040
Buy that machine.
It's a solid business.

744
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,360
A useful product.

745
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:01,880
Let me show you.

746
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:03,920
This is what you'll make.

747
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,560
One minute, <i>bhaisahab.</i>

748
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,240
Here you go.

749
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,320
Check this out.

750
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,840
You have a sense for sound.
Listen to this.

751
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,040
These are good plates.

752
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:19,640
Buy the machine.

753
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,880
This business will grow no matter what.

754
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,640
Community feasts are only increasing.

755
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:26,880
And if you invest an extra 10,000 rupees,

756
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,080
you can get an extension

757
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,680
that turns the waste
from these plates into <i>bidis.</i>

758
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,600
Oh my God!

759
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,320
Your total investment
would be sixty thousand rupees.

760
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,360
In the worst case, you'd still make
roughly 800 rupees per day.

761
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:45,840
What a terrible idea!

762
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,560
An idea is only terrible
until it hits the market. Got it?

763
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,560
I'm not giving them an idea
to make plates,

764
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,040
but a way to practically print money.

765
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:53,960
The back of the card
has all the payment details.

766
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,360
Done, <i>paaji.</i>

767
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:58,600
- Bassi <i>ji,</i> don't mind me saying this.
- This is for you.

768
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,040
Sure.

769
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,600
That day,
you left your house all dressed up,

770
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:06,600
got on stage,
there were so many people,

771
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,320
and you were talking,
but everyone was laughing.

772
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,360
Yes.

773
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,320
- Does that look good?
- "Does that look good?"

774
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:21,840
Lovely!

775
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,720
You're not being taken seriously either.
You're talking, and people are laughing.

776
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:30,600
Kapil <i>ji,</i> what I'm saying is

777
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,640
he should just drop comedy

778
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,960
and focus on singing instead.

779
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:37,240
Singers have it easy.

780
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,080
- How?
- It's the best job.

781
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,120
- How?
- One song, keep singing it.

782
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,680
No need to come up
with new jokes every time.

783
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,520
The same song does the job.
And if it becomes a hit,

784
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:48,680
the audience sings half the song.

785
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,360
This can go on for two hours,

786
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,280
and you laugh all the way to the bank.

787
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:15,000
You should consider that.
Excuse me, I'm getting a call.

788
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,240
Hello? Yes, what happened?

789
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,640
Okay. We are leaving.

790
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:24,680
You'll be going home after this, right?

791
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,640
Okay, tell them you're leaving.

792
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,080
- Just say you're leaving soon.
- I'm leaving soon.

793
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,960
Yes, he's leaving for
the program. Alright?

794
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,840
<i>Bhai,</i> which program?

795
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,200
The one we are going to after this.
You just said it.

796
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,240
The program is like, at birthday parties--

797
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,600
- What's that thing with hair?
- Tonsure?

798
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,640
Not that. Tonsure is when
you shave your head.

799
00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:47,440
In this one, a man's hair has grown back.

800
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:48,760
That's the program.

801
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,640
- To celebrate that?
- To celebrate that.

802
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,520
His hair grew back.
I'll play the song.

803
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,920
The tune is yours, but the lyrics are new.
You have to sing it.

804
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,040
- Okay? Come on!
- Yes! A song!

805
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:00,560
Wow!

806
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:02,760
One, two!

807
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,640
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.

808
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:07,760
What?

809
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,960
{\an8}<i>My hair…</i>

810
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,680
{\an8}<i>My hair tried…</i>

811
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,560
{\an8}<i>Tried to leave me</i>

812
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:25,560
{\an8}<i>Then came right back</i>
<i>At least I didn't go bald</i>

813
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:30,120
{\an8}<i>At least I didn't go bald</i>

814
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,080
{\an8}<i>At first, I was losing</i>

815
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:37,360
{\an8}<i>Ten to twelve strands every day</i>
<i>After a few days</i>

816
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,400
{\an8}<i>I was pulling out whole clumps in my hand</i>

817
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,760
{\an8}<i>I started getting nervous</i>

818
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,000
{\an8}<i>Wondering why my hair was shedding so much</i>

819
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,760
{\an8}<i>I thought about girls</i>

820
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,240
{\an8}<i>Then I pulled myself together</i>
<i>And got serious</i>

821
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,000
{\an8}<i>My hair…</i>

822
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,520
{\an8}<i>My hair tried…</i>

823
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,640
{\an8}<i>Tried to leave me</i>

824
00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:59,160
{\an8}<i>Then came right back</i>
<i>At least I didn't go bald</i>

825
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,360
{\an8}<i>- At least…</i>
<i>- I didn't go bald</i>

826
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:05,400
{\an8}Incredible!

827
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:09,600
{\an8}<i>I added shampoo and conditioner</i>
<i>To my ration list</i>

828
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:13,840
{\an8}<i>Every single Sunday</i>
<i>I had my mom oil my hair</i>

829
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:18,040
{\an8}<i>I comb it properly</i>
<i>Put on gel, and style it neatly</i>

830
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,280
{\an8}<i>Now when the wind blows</i>

831
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,960
{\an8}<i>And hits my head</i>
<i>At least it doesn't feel cold anymore</i>

832
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,480
{\an8}<i>My hair…</i>

833
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:31,360
{\an8}<i>My hair…</i>
<i>Tried to leave me</i>

834
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,280
{\an8}<i>Then came right back</i>
<i>At least…</i>

835
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,400
{\an8}<i>I didn't go bald</i>

836
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,640
{\an8}<i>- At least…</i>
<i>- I didn't go bald</i>

837
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,680
{\an8}<i>- At least…</i>
<i>- I didn't go bald</i>

838
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:49,200
{\an8}<i>- At least…</i>
<i>- I didn't go bald</i>

839
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,880
Yes, friends! Thank you so much!

840
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,800
After the show,
I'll come pick you up.

841
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,520
Okay? Then we'll go to the program.
Thank you, Bassi <i>ji.</i>

842
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:00,440
Thank you.

843
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,000
Okay, guys! Thank you!

844
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,280
With his parody song,
he has tortured our ears.

845
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:16,480
We need a detox.

846
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,280
For that, <i>paaji </i>has to sing the original.

847
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:19,720
<i>Paaji,</i> please.

848
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,280
Oh my God!

849
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,280
Incredible.

850
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,000
Wow!

851
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:26,560
- Wow!
- Amazing!

852
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:29,560
<i>Paaji,</i> let's check out

853
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,280
your fans' comments under your pictures.

854
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:32,880
People have gotten

855
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,160
really creative now.

856
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,160
Some of the comments are hilarious.
We have picked a few.

857
00:45:38,240 --> 00:45:39,120
Let's see them.

858
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:45,840
KOMMENTER'S KRAVING

859
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:51,560
"The beauty of the location,
plus my beauty."

860
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:52,680
Did I write this?

861
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,400
I doubt it was the ape.

862
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,120
Where is this picture from, Bassi?

863
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,720
This is from Australia,<i> paaji.</i>

864
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,680
- Okay.
- But I have no idea why I wrote that.

865
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,880
- Let's check out the comments.
- Well done, man.

866
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,680
"Even I look beautiful
standing in front of a monkey."

867
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:19,400
- Holy…
- Show us more.

868
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,200
"Two brothers, total destruction."

869
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,360
- I've seen that on everyone's post.
- On everyone's post.

870
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,280
Next.

871
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,680
- Oh!
- "Where do I go from here?"

872
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,480
<i>Paaji,</i> is that photo from a shoot?

873
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:37,680
Yes, in Canada.

874
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:38,920
Okay. Why the heartbreak emoji?

875
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,080
Well, the tales never end.

876
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:43,800
Sure.

877
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,320
Let's read the comments.

878
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,120
"If she's your girlfriend, take her home.
If not, go to your respective homes."

879
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,440
"Where do I go from here?"

880
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:56,080
People really have too much free time.
Another one, please.

881
00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:00,800
"Looks like the girl called him
'bro' lovingly. That's why he's upset."

882
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:05,120
Next.

883
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,280
"I'm not sure about patience,

884
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:09,920
but hard work pays off
with a Range Rover."

885
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,360
Really? Wow!

886
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,880
"Thank you for the love, everyone.
Happy Diwali."

887
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,440
- I remember this one.
- Let's see the comments.

888
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,320
"Until you have a photo
with a giant key next to your car,

889
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,360
we won't believe you bought a new one."

890
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,200
- So true!
- A photo with a giant key?

891
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,480
- Another one, please.
- That was a good one.

892
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,800
"I've liked and shared
a lot of your videos."

893
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,360
"Now it's your time to share."

894
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,480
"My wedding is on the 13th,
and I need your car to pick up my bride."

895
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:46,400
Next.

896
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:49,320
"Drinks on me."

897
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:50,480
Show us the comments.

898
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,520
"It makes me really happy
to see bro succeed."

899
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:58,440
"From selling ice pops on the street
to becoming a huge superstar."

900
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:06,320
Another one, please.

901
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:08,720
"What's this, Dhillon?"

902
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:11,840
This…

903
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,320
This is a good one.

904
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,400
- "What's this, Dhillon?"
- Nice one. "What's this, Dhillon?"

905
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:19,640
Another one, please.

906
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:24,000
"Where are you going, where's your mind?
AP's <i>kulfi </i>shop is one of a kind."

907
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:26,880
Next.

908
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,760
Hey, what's happening?

909
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,560
Oh, it's Yuzi's post.

910
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:33,560
"You met Bassi <i>bhai</i>
and don't have a good <i>anubhav."</i>

911
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:35,200
"Does that even make sense?"

912
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,680
So this-- Okay, Trident, Hyderabad.
Let's see the comments.

913
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,280
"Did you really upload this photo,
or did it leak?"

914
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:44,560
<i>Bhai…</i>

915
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:47,960
Bassi, this-- I mean,

916
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,400
did you meet at an event or something?

917
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,800
No, <i>paaji.</i> We were
staying at the same hotel.

918
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,280
- Okay.
- He said he wanted

919
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,640
a photo lying on the bed.

920
00:48:55,720 --> 00:48:58,200
He has a viral meme with
the same pose on the boundary,

921
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,120
- so he wanted to recreate it.
- Okay.

922
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,760
But you're clever, right?
Why go along with it?

923
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:04,920
<i>Paaji,</i> I wasn't clever back then.

924
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,640
- Let's see the comments.
- This one's a risky picture.

925
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,960
"That's Chahal liking
and subscribing to Bassi."

926
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,040
Bro…

927
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,160
Nice one!

928
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:23,280
- Another one, please.
<i>- Paaji,</i> please cut this part out.

929
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,880
- Don't show it.
- This won't be edited.

930
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,800
"The things you do for a free IPL pass."

931
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:33,680
Well, that's…

932
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:34,600
Another one, please.

933
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,360
"This photo teaches us
to marry before it's too late."

934
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,120
Bro!

935
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,800
It's not looking good for you.

936
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:48,640
Oh, man!

937
00:49:48,720 --> 00:49:49,840
Another one, please.

938
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,720
- Look at Chahal!
- "Chahal be like, 'That's enough, Bassi.'"

939
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,360
Come on, man!

940
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:58,400
Next.

941
00:49:58,480 --> 00:49:59,880
- Done? Thank you.
- Done.

942
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,960
So, friends, I'd like to invite

943
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,720
another personality.

944
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,360
He's behind AP <i>paaji's</i> beautiful songs.

945
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,880
He writes them and also sings in them.

946
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,720
Let's hear it for Shinda <i>paaji.</i>

947
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,800
Welcome,<i> paaji.</i>

948
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,600
- Greetings.
- Shinda <i>paaji,</i> a warm welcome to our show.

949
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:38,400
<i>Paaji,</i> sometimes
you write so romantically,

950
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:42,120
but when I look at you, you seem like
someone who prays five times a day.

951
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,480
Right? That's the vibe you give.

952
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,720
But where does
all that romance come from?

953
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,040
- I'll tell you something about writers.
- Please.

954
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,680
People say you need sorrow to write.

955
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,560
Well, that's rubbish.
All you need is to know how to lie.

956
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:56,680
We're in the same profession.

957
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,280
- Yes, actually--
- Why are you clapping?

958
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,040
- You're in the same profession too.
- He's letting all the secrets out.

959
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,880
It's true. When someone writes,
"I'll get you the moon and the stars,"

960
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,240
they might not even be able
to pluck a guava from a tree…

961
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,960
- Absolutely.
- but they write it anyway.

962
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:11,360
- Absolutely.
<i>- Paaji, </i>how did you become friends?

963
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:13,040
You're an amazing duo.

964
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,920
We used to live in the same
neighborhood and happened to meet.

965
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,760
So we started jamming on songs on Sundays.

966
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,720
And when he built the studio,

967
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:25,040
we'd stay up until two in the morning
trying to make songs.

968
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,960
He was learning, and I'd write.

969
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,400
And that's how it began.

970
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:32,240
- Very impressive! Well done!
- Thank you so much.

971
00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:35,480
<i>Paaji,</i> I've heard that

972
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,720
- creative people, like writers…
- Yeah?

973
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,240
get ideas in strange places.

974
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:42,960
If you're in the bathroom

975
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,600
and an idea hits, but you don't have
a pen or paper to note it down.

976
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:48,000
Your priorities are different
when you're in there.

977
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,320
- Did you ever experience that?
- I won't lie.

978
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:52,040
For our song "By My Side,"

979
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:55,000
the first two lines came
to me in the bathroom.

980
00:51:57,240 --> 00:52:00,480
Behind every successful man,
there's a woman.

981
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:02,640
Behind the prey, there's a hunter.

982
00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:05,200
But behind every singer, there's a writer.

983
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,160
- Yes!
- There's a writer.

984
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,560
Bravo!

985
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,240
It's over, <i>bhaijaan!</i>

986
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:06,440
<i>Bhaijaan,</i> the song is over.

987
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,720
- Incredible. It was incredible. <i>Mashallah!</i>
- Incredible!

988
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:10,720
<i>Mashallah!</i>

989
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:15,680
You danced so well.
Here's your reward.

990
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:19,040
- Here you go. That was great.
- Reward…

991
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:21,000
Keep it. We'll meet after pack-up.

992
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:22,880
Thank you very much.
It was amazing.

993
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:27,880
<i>Mashallah!</i>

994
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,800
Incredible! <i>As-salamu alaykum!</i>

995
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:31,560
<i>As-salamu alaykum!</i> How are you?

996
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,600
- How are you?
- Bro, how are you?

997
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,240
- Nice to see you.
- How are you? Lovely!

998
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:37,480
Happy to see you.

999
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:38,520
- Okay--
<i>- Bhaijaan.</i>

1000
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,040
- Greet him.
<i>- Bhaijaan,</i> let me greet you.

1001
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:42,720
<i>- Bhaijaan!</i>
- No, I'm good!

1002
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,200
Wait. Just look at this!

1003
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,160
AP Dhillon and Mr. 250 kilo!

1004
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:52,920
Mr. 250 kilo!

1005
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,200
Mr. 250 kilo!

1006
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:57,280
Man…

1007
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:01,120
Jokes aside.
I want to say something from my heart.

1008
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,560
<i>Paaji,</i> there are two things
in life that are very difficult.

1009
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:05,720
What are they?

1010
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,960
Singing and making people laugh.

1011
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,560
- True.
- Anyone who does that from the heart

1012
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,200
is a real artist.

1013
00:54:14,720 --> 00:54:15,920
It's true.

1014
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,840
That's why, please give
a big round of applause for Kapil!

1015
00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:25,640
- I saw it coming.
- That's rude!

1016
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:28,600
He sings so well,
and he's number one in comedy.

1017
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:29,880
Sit, Bassi <i>sahab.</i>

1018
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,920
Why are you standing? Sit down.

1019
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,520
How are you all?
Okay, jokes aside,

1020
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,600
I'm saying this from my heart.
Your presence has

1021
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:39,840
lifted this place to new grounds.

1022
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,880
- No, <i>bhaijaan.</i> No.
- What's wrong?

1023
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,640
- They can't take it to new grounds.
- Why?

1024
00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:46,960
Because they are stars.

1025
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:50,280
Not stars, they are superstars.

1026
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:52,920
Not superstars, they are sweethearts.

1027
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,480
Not sweethearts, they are steel bars.

1028
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:56,080
They are protein bars.

1029
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,560
And to everyone's surprise,
they're still single, breaking all bars!

1030
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,280
How is that possible?

1031
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:03,720
Oh, hello!

1032
00:55:04,240 --> 00:55:06,320
What's all this nonsense?
Who are you two?

1033
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,960
<i>- Bhaijaan,</i> let me introduce ourselves.
- Please.

1034
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,080
- I'm Chhota Shaikh.
- Okay.

1035
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,080
He's my elder brother,

1036
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,720
Bada Shaikh, Krushna Abhishek.

1037
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:18,960
Greetings.

1038
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,320
<i>Bhaijaan,</i> we're twins.

1039
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:23,520
Born on the same day,

1040
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:27,640
at the same time,
from the same father.

1041
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,200
But you don't look like twins.

1042
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:31,880
We have different mothers, <i>bhaijaan.</i>

1043
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,360
My mother is different,

1044
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:39,360
and his mother is different.

1045
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,360
I'm your huge fan.

1046
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:45,400
I keep watching your show on YouTube.

1047
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,160
- What comedy!
- What comedy!

1048
00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:50,280
- What timing!
- What timing, <i>bhaijaan!</i>

1049
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:51,720
I even saw your movie.

1050
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,120
I also saw his acting performance.

1051
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:56,120
Why are you doing the bowling action?

1052
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,680
That was for his overacting. So…

1053
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,840
He went a little overboard.
I saw it.

1054
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,640
- He says he overacted.
- He overacted,<i> bhaijaan?</i>

1055
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,520
You should look in a mirror
once in a while, <i>bhaijaan.</i>

1056
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,800
Bassi brother,

1057
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:21,320
I'm your biggest…

1058
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,040
What's that?

1059
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,840
- A button?
- No, a fan. I'm your fan.

1060
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:27,720
Then why were you gesturing for a button?

1061
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,120
How can the fan switch on
unless you press the button?

1062
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:31,560
That's logical.

1063
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:32,880
He's got logic.

1064
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,080
- I'm your big fan.
- He's very intelligent.

1065
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:37,960
Brother, I specially brought

1066
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,880
this money plant for you.

1067
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:41,200
It has no water.

1068
00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:44,320
He never seemed to care
about adding water, brother.

1069
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:46,560
He likes it neat.

1070
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,640
- True.
- So I bought him a "neat" money plant.

1071
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,000
AP Dhillon, what a singer!

1072
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,760
You already sing so well, brother.
Along with that,

1073
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,000
the hold you have in Bollywood…

1074
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,800
The hold you have in Bollywood…

1075
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:07,360
I've seen it too. Great hold!

1076
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,560
In one song, he held Bani Sandhu.

1077
00:57:10,240 --> 00:57:13,440
In one of his other songs,
he held Tara Sutaria.

1078
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,040
He's got a really strong hold.

1079
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,440
- I'm not talking about that hold.
- Then?

1080
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,040
I mean the kind of respect

1081
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,480
you command in Bollywood, <i>bhaijaan.</i>

1082
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:23,440
- I was talking about that.
- Okay.

1083
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:26,120
- Now I get it.
- What are you two here for?

1084
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:28,440
Actually, it's our camel's wedding

1085
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:29,840
- in Dubai.
- Camel's wedding?

1086
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:31,400
Yes, we're getting our camel married.

1087
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:33,600
We're here to talk to both of them.

1088
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,880
My dear, what do you think of them?

1089
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:38,960
- No, <i>bhaijaan.</i>
- What?

1090
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:42,560
No, <i>bhaijaan, </i>I don't think
our camel will agree to marry them.

1091
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:50,760
<i>Bhaijaan,</i> don't do this.

1092
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:52,440
You'll erase your script.

1093
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:55,800
- What?
- "You'll erase your script."

1094
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,240
"You'll erase your script."

1095
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,160
<i>Bhaijaan, </i>why are you sharpening it?

1096
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,720
So I can slap you with it!

1097
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:10,040
The camel isn't getting married to them.
We want them to do a show over there.

1098
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:14,280
Two superstars will sing and do comedy,

1099
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,240
and the crowd will scream their lungs out.

1100
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,400
Once <i>oonth!</i> Once <i>oonth! </i>Once <i>oonth!</i>

1101
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:20,760
- It's "once more."
- But it's the <i>oonth's </i>wedding.

1102
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:21,960
Why would I say <i>"mor"?</i>

1103
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:23,880
It's an <i>oonth's </i>wedding.

1104
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:27,920
Who even gets a camel married?

1105
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,400
We do.

1106
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:30,720
We've changed

1107
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,120
- all the rules there.
- Like what?

1108
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,920
No one can have a child without marriage.

1109
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,880
Yes. Even animals.

1110
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:40,560
Yes!

1111
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,120
Recently, a hen…

1112
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,440
laid eggs without marriage.

1113
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,800
- Yes. Want to know how I punished her?
- How?

1114
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:49,840
She ended up as biryani on a plate.

1115
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,200
Oh my God!

1116
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,160
May God bless her soul.

1117
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,640
<i>Bhaijaan,</i> that's why
we're getting the camel married.

1118
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:13,280
Everyone keeps saying,
"A cumin seed in a camel's mouth."

1119
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,440
And I say, why not a groom's wedding veil
to cover its mouth?

1120
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,000
Everyone says, "Now the camel
will come under the mountain."

1121
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,440
And I say, now the camel…

1122
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,160
will climb on top of a horse.

1123
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,240
Hey, keep my father's name
out of your mouth!

1124
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:33,240
Father's name?

1125
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:34,760
- My father's name is Tabrak.
- Tabrak!

1126
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,880
Your father's name is Tabrak?

1127
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,480
My father's name is also--

1128
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,760
- Oh, right, we're twins!
- Oh!

1129
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:45,560
<i>Mashallah!</i>

1130
00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:48,960
When you come for the show,
you'll get every facility possible.

1131
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:50,320
- Every facility.
- No problem at all.

1132
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,520
Snap your fingers,
and the crockery appears.

1133
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:53,440
It just appears.

1134
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:55,560
- Snap again, and the food appears.
- Food appears.

1135
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:56,480
All for you.

1136
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:58,200
You can try it here.

1137
00:59:58,280 --> 00:59:59,160
Snap your fingers.

1138
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:01,200
Yeah, the crockery is here.

1139
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:02,200
Again.

1140
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:04,640
No, this is still crockery.

1141
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:07,320
Snap for food.

1142
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,080
No, that's crockery again.

1143
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:11,440
Are they planning to eat crockery?

1144
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,120
- Why do they keep calling for crockery?
- I wonder why.

1145
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,120
- I don't know.
- Does this one work?

1146
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,160
- What's that for?
- What's he clapping for?

1147
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,320
Brother, don't clap.
Snap your fingers.

1148
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,160
No, this one's for their security.
They'll be here

1149
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:25,840
and break your crockery.

1150
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:27,800
- No, brother. Don't…
- No, it's okay.

1151
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,240
Will you come to the show?

1152
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,320
- I'll set everything up for you.
- Okay.

1153
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,640
Sorry, we didn't get a chance to talk.

1154
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:44,360
In our conversation,
we lost track of time.

1155
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,600
Nice meeting you.
You showed up later, right?

1156
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:50,240
- Right.
- So, we'll talk later.

1157
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:54,800
- Okay?
- We'll talk later.

1158
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,360
I'll take your leave.

1159
01:00:56,440 --> 01:00:57,480
Let's go.

1160
01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,520
- I'll sit on the camel.
- Hey…

1161
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,240
Brother, I'll join you too.

1162
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:05,040
With you sitting on it, how will
the camel rise? Don't…

1163
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:08,640
You walk.

1164
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:10,880
- Oh my God.
- You come walking.

1165
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,880
Okay, then I'll hold the camel's rope.

1166
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:15,920
- Yeah, do that.
- Let's go, brother.

1167
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:18,120
Come on.

1168
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:20,120
- Come on.
- Come on, brother.

1169
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:23,400
Come, brother. Come on.

1170
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:25,280
This way.

1171
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,400
- Not over there.
- But why?

1172
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:28,960
- Don't take me there.
- Why?

1173
01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:31,200
Archana<i> ji </i>will take the cumin seed
from his mouth

1174
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,160
and use it to temper the <i>dal </i>at home.

1175
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:37,600
Not there.

1176
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:39,280
Turn it around.

1177
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:41,200
- Okay, I'll turn it.
- Not there.

1178
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:43,200
- Come on, let's go.
- Never go to her.

1179
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,080
- Okay, hurry up now.
- She'll put the camel's wedding video

1180
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,800
on her YouTube channel
and make money off it.

1181
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,080
- Come on, let's go.
- Come on.

1182
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:56,240
Oh my God!

1183
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,640
Please come, <i>paaji.</i>
Bassi <i>sahab, </i>join me.

1184
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:00,560
Shinda <i>paaji.</i>

1185
01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:03,520
<i>Paaji,</i> thank you so much for coming.

1186
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,240
It was a lot of fun.

1187
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,120
- Love you, Bassi<i> sahab.</i>
- Love you.

1188
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:09,560
Thank you, Shinda <i>paaji.</i>

1189
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,760
So, friends, two things
are very important in life.

1190
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:16,200
Great music and plenty of laughter.

1191
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:17,960
And today, we had both right here.

1192
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Keep singing and laughing like this,

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01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:21,520
and keep watching
<i>The Great Indian Kapil Show.</i>

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Every Funnyday,
for a fresh dose of fun.

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See you next Saturday.

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Until then, good night.
Take care. Thank you.