Good evening, and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show!
Thank you.
- Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! - Please take your seats.
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
Archana ji.
- Sidhu paaji. - Yes?
Today is the finale episode of our fourth season.
- Yes. - We have dedicated
- today's episode to the father-son bond. - Wow!
Wow!
It's a beautiful relationship.
It's amazing. From copying your dad's signature as a kid
to drinking his bottle of Signature when you grow up, every talent a son has
comes from his father.
Hear me out.
Back in the day, a father was someone
who carried his son on his shoulders in the scorching heat
so the child could see the funfair.
Today, a father is the one who
walks into his son's room in the middle of the night and snatches away his iPad,
worried he might be having too much "fun" on the internet.
Back then, if a son dared to talk back to his father, he would get scolded.
"You'll teach your dad?!"
But now, with technology everywhere,
the father says,
"Will you teach your dad, son? Show me how to do this."
Lovely!
Then the son explains, "Papa,
this Manju you've been following on Instagram for the past two months…
isn't real. It's AI."
Oh, yeah!
When you go through history, you realize
most of what we studied was about fathers and their sons.
Babur's son Humayun.
Humayun's son Akbar.
Akbar's son Jahangir.
Jahangir's son Shah Jahan.
Shah Jahan's son Aurangzeb.
We nearly lost our minds trying to remember
what all these fathers and sons did.
- You know our Dinesh here. - Yes.
One day, out of frustration, he answered his history teacher.
She asked, "Who's Shah Jahan's son?" He said, "Malinga."
She said, "That's wrong."
He replied, "How do you know? Ask Shah Jahan."
"Maybe he took a trip to Sri Lanka, too."
He kept arguing with his teacher.
Back in the day, kids were very simple. They weren't outspoken.
If their father said, "Look at Sharma ji's son!"
"Learn from him."
You can't say that now.
- Why? - The kid might fire right back.
"Have you seen Sharma ji?"
"He had only one kid after considering his income."
"You have a five-figure salary but six kids."
"And the sixth one was born after your retirement."
The father gets angry, takes off his shoe, and says, "Shut up, or I'll hit you!"
"After retirement? That was just to prove to the government
- they shouldn't retire a man at 55!" - They shouldn't--
Fathers have a different way of showing concern.
If a mother is worried,
she expresses it right away.
"Son, don't drink soft drinks. You'll catch a cold."
She snatches it away from you.
Fathers are different. They say, "Son, go ahead, drink it."
"But if you sneeze even once tomorrow,
you'll remember the medicine more than the cold."
Fathers have their own unique style.
In our generation, we have seen not just iPhones
but also different versions of fathers.
The oldest model, as you all know, was "Bauji."
They knew their son would come, touch their feet, and leave,
so they gave their blessing in their mind.
They never smiled at anyone.
They only smiled at your mother, and that too in the dark.
So…
- "Bauji" was later upgraded to "Pitaji." - Yes.
You still had to touch their feet.
In return, they would place their hand on your head and bless you.
- The next upgrade was "Papa." - Yes.
Kids don't go all the way down to touch their feet.
- Yes. Just halfway. - Why?
They just pat the shoulder instead of the head and tell the kids to carry on.
Papa! But the latest generation
has added one more word to "Papa." It has become "Papa, yaar!"
"Papa, yaar, what's this?" You see?
Earlier, it was just the wife. Now, fathers fear the kids too.
In this generation, kids don't touch their father's feet,
and fathers don't touch their heads. They meet somewhere in the middle.
- They might even sit together for a drink, - Oh! Yeah!
celebrating. Which is not a bad thing.
The methods may have changed, but even today, when a son dreams,
he dreams of becoming as big as his father.
And a father is the only person
who truly wishes his children to grow bigger than him.
Today, I would like to invite a similar father-son duo
to the stage.
Amidst a thunderous round of applause, please welcome
Mr. David Dhawan and Mr. Varun Dhawan.
Varun! Varun! Varun!
- Varun! Varun! Varun! - Thank you!
Varun! Varun! Varun!
VD! VD! VD!
David sir, you are used to receiving applause.
How does it feel to watch your son getting this kind of love right in front of you?
They are crazy about him.
- Director No. 1! - This is what we live for.
This moment right here!
David sir was on our show many years ago
when Varun was just about to make his film debut.
- Yes. - Correct.
And today he is back on our show again.
It truly feels wonderful to have you here, sir.
Love you, sir.
Sidhu paaji!
Let's hear it.
Something special.
David is the Dronacharya Varun is the Arjun
Wow!
Sir, what you have achieved
Is a dream for many
Wow!
Your hard work is no small feat It's years of dedication
Wow!
You've spread so much joy You have my admiration
- I said it! - Nice one.
Clap it up! Come on!
- David sir, last week Malaika was here. - Okay.
So in his poems, we heard about mountains, rivers, flowers, and fragrance.
Now that you're here, we are hearing about dedication and admiration.
As everyone knows, David sir has worked with countless actors.
But his greatest achievement was getting Sidhu paaji to act.
I agree.
Name the film.
- Mujhse Shaadi Karogi. - Yes!
Sir, at that time, you were a Member of Parliament.
Okay.
I kept hearing, "Today Sidhu sahab will come for the shoot."
"No, today he won't come. He refused."
This went on for two days.
Later, we needed a stadium
and a commentator's box for a shoot.
We couldn't find one in Delhi.
- So we finally took you to Ghaziabad. - Correct.
- Right? - Absolutely.
Sajid Khan was there as his co-commentator.
I gave them the scene.
I had given one dialogue to Sajid, but he took that one too from him.
He said all the lines…
Please take a seat, David sir. Welcome.
Archana has worked with me as well.
Yes, David. How could I ever forget?
With Sunny Deol.
What was the film?
Aag Ka Gola.
The title fit her to a tee.
She did a lovely song with Sunny.
That ball of fire is still blazing, sir.
David sir, where did you first see Archana ma'am?
I mean, what made you cast her in Aag Ka Gola?
- Pahlaj ji was the producer. - Pahlaj Nihalani.
He recommended her.
- It was a vamp's role. - Of course.
Role…
A role?
We also did another film together where--
- Shola Aur Shabnam. - Yes!
- You were outstanding. - An outstanding performance!
Even this one sounds violent.
Anyway, you all know them as a father-son duo.
But now they have also become a director-actor duo.
Varun has already done a film with him,
and another one is coming very soon.
David sir, people often say, "Familiarity breeds contempt."
- It's a well-known saying. - It's a saying.
How difficult is it
to work with your own family?
I would like to ask both of you.
I have to satisfy him as well, right?
- Of course. - And that is not easy.
He questions everything.
- "Why should I do that?" - Okay.
Then I say, "Because I said so."
David sir, you have
- worked with so many actors. - A lot of them.
And I also heard that
when David sir narrated Bade Miyan Chote Miyan to Bachchan sahab,
he simply said, "Bachchan sahab, there are two thieves."
"One is Amitabh Bachchan, and the other is Govinda."
"And there are two policemen."
"One is Amitabh Bachchan, and the other is Govinda."
"That is the film. See you on the set."
Because everyone knew that if David Dhawan was directing the film,
it was going to be good.
Varun, do you even get that much detail,
or does he just tell you, "Reach the set at 9:45 a.m. tomorrow"?
9:45 a.m. is already too late for him.
- He starts shooting at 7:00 a.m. - Okay.
But do I ask too many questions?
You don't easily get convinced about the things I want you to do.
Sir, because-- This is just an example.
I recently did a film called Border 2.
- It was a very serious film-- - Brilliant.
- You did a fantastic job. - Thank you.
- Your hard work shows in every shot. - Thank you.
- Very well done. - Thank you.
But after doing that kind of film, I came to his set.
Suddenly, he asks me to break the fourth wall.
- Oh. - "Talk to the audience."
I was speaking to the heroine.
He said, "Forget her."
"Look at the audience. Talk to them."
"Still drinking milk like a little boy. How do I handle two love stories, oh boy?"
Now, how do I--? This--
How can I suddenly--?
His style of cinema is actually
one of the hardest to perform. I'm sure Kapil will agree with me.
Making people laugh
- is extremely difficult! - Very true.
Sir, my guru was
Manmohan Desai,
the king of entertainment!
And he taught me
that you must first feel the scene yourself.
Only then will the audience believe it.
If you feel it's right, then it's right.
He once told me about the time he was making Amar Akbar Anthony.
The mother was lying in a hospital bed,
and her three sons were giving her their blood.
Then Chintu came to him and said,
"Man, what are you doing? How is this even possible?"
"Amit ji, please tell him something."
But he simply asked them to do the shot.
He said, "When this scene appears on the screen,
it will get the biggest applause in the theater. Mark my words."
- Wow. - Brilliant.
And it truly did receive a huge applause.
So he keeps giving references like that.
So who wins then? Who convinces whom?
- Varun, does David manage to convince you? - Look,
- he performs the rehearsal in front of me. - No, no. I--
If I like it, then it's fine. It's not a big deal.
See, I still have to satisfy him.
He's the director and a legend at that.
- I mean-- Forget that he's my father. - Absolutely.
On set, I'm just an actor.
Most of the scolding is reserved for me.
Everyone knows that.
- You can ask anyone. - Yeah.
But…
But creatively, even I have my own way of performing a scene.
I-- He has made so many films
with Govinda sir. Too many to even count.
- Now-- - Seventeen films!
- Wow! - Unbelievable!
- And every one of them was amazing! - All of them were superhits!
Seventeen films, and I believe one of the best actors
I have worked with is Govinda.
- Outstanding! - Absolutely!
Whenever he writes a scene, he thinks of
- Chi Chi bhaiya. - Okay.
"If Chi Chi were here, how would he do it?"
So I tell him,
"I have to perform for my audience, right?"
Even they're little kids.
So I have a very tall order to live up to.
So, I…
He always tells me, "Salman would do it this way."
"Chi Chi would do it like this." "Anil would do that."
But I have to figure out
- how Varun would do it. - Your own way.
But let me tell you one thing.
There's an actor I have worked with many times.
A brilliant actor.
I even learned a lot from him.
- His name was Rishi Kapoor. - Wow.
Wow, sir!
He always had just one question.
He would ask, "Why should I do that?"
Then I would try to convince him through the story.
"Okay."
- Otherwise, he would not budge. - Okay.
The best thing about him was that the moment it was 7:00 p.m.,
the day was over.
Pack up. Done for the day.
I would like to share a small story about him.
A director once came to narrate a story.
He asked him to come to the shoot, and while heading back home,
he could narrate the story to him.
He came, sat in the car,
and began narrating.
The very first scene in the story took place at night.
Rishi asked him to stop right there.
He then told his driver to stop.
"I don't do night shoots."
He had him step out of the car.
It's true.
Actors from today's generation
- ask a lot of questions - Yes.
and ask for the script.
"Give me the script. What's the beginning?"
- Bound script. - "I want to read the script."
- When have you ever given me a script? - But--
But you understand me, right?
In the old days, actors would agree on the phone.
"Yes, I'm doing it." That's how things were done back then.
Sanjay Dutt used to say, "Hell with the script, man."
"Tell me the scene on the set."
Let me say one thing.
I also work with the current crop of directors,
and the environment is very polite these days.
You cannot abuse people too much now and all that--
Because there isn't much friendship on set, right?
Yeah, sure. That's how things are now.
But on his set, if someone gave a bad performance,
he would say it on the mic. "What a poor actor, man! What's going on?"
I mean, if you perform badly, you are done.
And this could happen to anyone.
You see, most of the time,
the hero forgets his lines.
But the character actors are the best.
- Yeah. - Kader Khan,
- Incredible. - Shakti Kapoor, Anupam Kher,
Satish Kaushik,
Paresh Rawal!
Unbelievable!
Let me also tell you about Govinda.
People say he used to come late on set.
Who doesn't come late today? Forget that.
But once he arrived, he would leave only after finishing his work.
- Wow. - And you'll not believe it.
He would show up and ask for his scene. It would be a four-page scene.
He would go through it thoroughly.
While I was setting up the shot,
he said, "Don't set it up yet."
"Do one thing. Here's the scene. Watch me perform."
- "I'll do it in one take." - Wow!
This was in Partner.
He did all kinds of acrobatics in that scene.
- Wow! - It was unbelievable.
Then he told me to edit the scene however I wanted.
- Unbelievable. - Yes. Govinda sir is incredible.
Do you remember when Bade Miyan Chote Miyan was--
It's one of my favorite films, David sir.
Incredible film.
When it came out,
it clashed with another movie.
- Was it Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
So Varun skipped his father's film and went to watch the other one instead.
Varun, was that the reason your dad sent you to Karan Johar
to launch your career in films?
I really want to know.
You have a legendary director at home…
David sir, so why did Dharma end up launching his debut film?
He used to study abroad.
When he came back,
I wondered what he planned to do.
I asked my other son, "What is he going to do?"
We thought he might start working at a bank.
- Oh, my God! - Okay. You had no idea?
- Really? - Yes. I swear on you.
He said he wanted to assist Karan.
I had no idea. He told his mother.
Then he went and met him.
- Which film did you assist Karan on? - My Name Is Khan.
- Yes, he assisted on My Name Is Khan. - Okay.
He came back after that and did a good job.
At the time, I was extremely busy.
I was usually working on two films at once.
So, he--
- One day, Karan came home… - Oh.
and said, "I want to launch him."
Okay.
The next time he showed up with photographs.
He had Sidharth and him do photo shoots. I saw the pictures.
He said, "This is the pair."
Alia was also with them.
At that point, the director hadn't been decided.
- Karan was planning to produce the film. - Right.
In the end, he came back and said, "I'm going to direct it."
- Okay. - Oh.
So we were very happy
because he was getting his break with the right banner.
But he told the story only from his perspective.
The twist is that
when I wanted to become an actor,
I was probably in ninth grade. I knew--
My dream was to appear on the front page of The Times of India.
- Oh! - Way to go!
My birthday is on April 24,
- and you know who else was born-- - I know.
- Sachin Tendulkar. - Exactly.
On that day, there would always be a picture of Sachin sir cutting a cake.
I used to tell my mom,
"Mom, one day my photo will also be here, cutting a cake."
My brother would tease me and say,
"That will either happen because you went to prison,
or because you did something big in life."
He used to pull my leg.
Since childhood, my mom would say
that Dad has never launched anyone.
Whether it was a hero's son or some influential person,
he never believed in that.
I need someone ready to go.
He had set the bar very high.
I kept wondering how I would measure up.
You did it, guru!
- So the drive to-- - Audiences of all ages,
- especially teenagers, - Yes.
you are their heartthrob.
Heartthrob. Take my word for it.
Youngsters adore you. They truly adore you!
I cannot take credit for that.
He reached here the same way I did.
I only introduced him to the school
of comedy and entertainment.
- He understood it very well. - Incredible.
He used to challenge me all the time.
"You can't do that!" "This is beyond you!"
"You are all too spoiled."
"You can only do this because your father is rich."
He would throw these lines at me constantly.
There was an Akshay paaji film called Waqt.
- Have you seen it? - Yes.
I used to cry a lot while watching it
because I could relate to it deeply.
So I…
I mean, he would not say it directly,
but they probably felt that I--
Yes, you all did think that I was the black sheep of the family,
that I would never make it.
But thankfully, I made it.
But did David ask you not to do Badlapur?
- Yes, he did. - He did?
- He was scared-- - That's one of your finest performances.
- It was an incredible film. - I took it as a challenge.
- Very good film. - I even called Varun
- after watching it-- - Yes, you did.
He had grown a full beard.
He would come home, not talk to anyone, and go straight to his room.
I was worried about him.
After watching Badlapur, did you change your mind about him?
- That he-- - Definitely.
I complimented his performance.
It happened gradually, but he made me very happy.
But he was working-- For example,
my wife and I went to watch Border 2.
I cannot tell you how much I cried during that film.
When I came back,
I felt so proud of him.
For the first time, I said…
that among so many artists--
Yes. You held your own
- and proved yourself. Yeah. - And the director used him very well.
It was brilliant.
David sir, have you noticed any changes in Varun since he became a father?
A lot.
I cannot even describe it. That is what I keep telling him.
I tell him, "Father--"
I tell Lali, "He still doesn't understand what it means to be a father."
Now that he has a daughter,
- he will learn. - Yes.
True.
I agree. A lot of credit goes to my wife as well.
After our marriage,
- Yes. - she taught me many things too.
But my mom, you know, touchwood,
whenever there's a disagreement or a fight,
she always sides with my wife. My whole family does.
All of them.
So in a way,
I feel like I am on my own
in that situation.
But I am happy,
because in the end, that is real success.
Your family.
- Yeah, but-- - Earlier, I used to argue
about why I couldn't stay out late at night.
I would come home at two after a friend's birthday party and ask,
"Why are you awake?" Because he would stay up waiting.
"We were so worried."
"We were about to call the police." I would say, "But I have a phone with me."
- "Why not call me first?" - One day,
- he didn't come home. It was very late. - Oh, man. Not again.
He was young.
As he was climbing the stairs, he heard music from a party
and just walked in.
There were girls at the party.
He was in there.
We kept looking everywhere, worried about him.
- I-- - He was nowhere to be found.
- My eldest son-- - Rohit.
- He found out that Varun was downstairs. - The watchman told him.
- "Your brother is in there." - Rohit stormed in,
dragged him out, and thrashed him.
Such cruelty? A drop of honey attracts a few bees.
- Come on! - Rohit--
Rohit.
- How much older is Rohit than Varun? - Four years.
Four years?
Even a one-year gap is enough for an older brother
- to beat the younger one. - Yes.
I thought once he finished beating me, we would make up a story together.
He had already punished me, right?
But when we got home, he told everything.
"He was dancing with girls and all."
So you were a strict father, sir?
- Like mine? - Yeah.
My father used to smack me.
- Did you ever hit him? - No, I don't think so.
To this day, I have never hit him.
Never.
Mom did.
- Lali must have, right? - Yes.
You will not believe this, one day--
You hit me once!
- His mom must have-- - No, you hit me once. You slapped me.
I will tell you.
- I did not. - Let me tell you.
One day, he and my elder brother Rohit
- got into an argument. - Okay.
They were shouting at each other.
I wore glasses back then.
I woke up from sleep in my boxer shorts and saw them fighting.
They were yelling at each other.
I thought this was normal.
I was just watching it like a TV show.
In the middle of it, he slapped me.
He wanted to slap him, but ended up slapping me
because he was older. He had already grown up,
and I was still small.
I remember my glasses falling to the floor.
I picked them up and thought,
what the hell!
Sir, what is this? Someone else did it, and he paid.
It happens.
Until what age did Lali hit you?
- But one thing I must say-- She still hits me even now.
You cannot stop Lali.
Lali is the one who holds the family together.
She's one of the strongest women I have known.
You will not believe this, but we all live together.
He lives downstairs
while Rohit and I live upstairs.
At dinner time, I call him upstairs.
Sometimes we eat together.
We also watch cricket matches together.
Finals or semi-finals, we watch them together.
Even this has a story. When I wanted to buy a house as a bachelor,
I said I needed space and all that.
Success often brings these thoughts.
"I need privacy and all."
So I started looking for houses.
Suddenly, they told me they had finalized a house.
I asked, "Where?" They said, "Downstairs."
I said, "I am buying it with my own money."
"No new houses are available."
I asked, "There is not a single house available in Mumbai?"
"Only the one downstairs?"
- I-- - Do you know what he asked me?
He said, "Is there an emotional reason behind this?"
- I said, "Yes." - So I decided to stay there.
I just remembered something about Varun's mom.
- This one is funny. - I used to
go to the Marriott to swim.
One day,
I saw Varun's mom with a few hotel staff members.
I asked, "What is wrong?" They said, "Ma'am lost her ring."
I asked, "Auntie, was it expensive?" She said, "Yes. It was a diamond ring."
I asked, "Where did you lose it?" She had just come back from swimming.
So I said, "You lost it in the pool? No worries. I will find it for you."
I searched the pool for about an hour
but could not find it.
Finally, I gave up, got out, and went to take a shower.
I ran into her again
while she was leaving.
I said, "Auntie, but your ring…"
"Son, I found it where I had kept it."
- Classic Lali. - "Why did you not tell me?"
Correct.
But my mom often does things like that.
Once, we were…
- There's a place called The Club. - Yes, The Club.
She had gone there.
Hrithik Roshan hadn't been launched yet.
They both had similar phones.
She came home with Hrithik's phone.
So Hrithik--
So I think Rakesh Roshan called Dad,
and Hrithik came home to pick up his phone.
Hrithik was not "Hrithik" back then.
But even then, he was tall, broad, and very good-looking.
Rohit and I were eating our food,
and Hrithik showed up and said, "Hello, Auntie!"
And--
- Once again. - "Hey, Auntie!"
- Back then-- - We need to see that again.
- One more time. Come on! - I was--
Just one last time.
Come on!
It was incredibly embarrassing because he was sitting there in a loincloth
without a T-shirt.
So he is sitting there in a loincloth with no T-shirt,
my mom is there, and Hrithik Roshan walks in.
A tall, handsome guy with…
"Hey, Auntie."
So…
- Dad was there. - Too good, man!
He called him Uncle David.
"I think you have my phone."
My mom said, "Yes, that was my mistake. You are such a sweet boy."
And Rohit and I were just staring at him in awe.
"Thank you for this. I will always remember that."
Superb!
Superb, man!
You crushed it, man! Clap it up! That was fantastic.
- Superb! - But honestly,
the moment I saw Hrithik,
I wondered how a man could be this perfect.
Then I started worrying.
If this guy is so perfect, how will I ever get launched?
I only reach his waist.
So…
But yes. I mean…
my childhood was pretty funny.
We used to do a lot of strange things.
Varun, tell me something.
With David sir at home,
a lot of actors must have visited.
When a child goes to school,
parents expect him to study well and land a respectable job.
You already know your dad is a legendary director.
You practically have a great career waiting for you at home.
He's the one who can shape my career,
- if he launches me as an actor. - Yes.
Even then, how did you manage to stay interested in studies?
Because at home,
he never carried himself like a legendary director.
He used to walk around in a loincloth.
Rohit and I used to feel embarrassed about
inviting girls or friends over because they would only see him
walking around in that loincloth.
So…
It didn't matter who came over.
One day, our mom told him,
"David, this is not right. The kids bring their friends home,
and you are roaming around in a loincloth."
The next day,
I had a few friends over. They had just stepped into the house.
This time, he was not in a loincloth but in Jordan shorts.
Jordan shorts,
but bare-chested.
Completely bare-chested.
I was wearing a T-shirt.
- He exaggerates a little. - No!
But no one understands comedy better than you.
Now that Rohit and I are both married,
he at least wears a T-shirt at home.
- Yeah! - Nice one!
Daughter-in-law, look. Varun Dhawan is here with his dad.
Look.
Hey, where's your attention?
The hero is right here!
Oh, yes!
- Yes. - Hi.
- Namaste. - Namaste.
- Ma'am! - One second.
- Yes? - Here, hold your vegetable bag.
Daughter-in-law, take it.
Mother, please hold it. I am carrying the baby.
Your hands are free.
My back is free too,
so should I load four sacks of grain on it…
and wander around like a donkey?
Mother, why would you need to carry sacks for that?
What did you say?
Nothing. You just look for excuses to scold me.
I was only saying that I should take this vegetable bag.
Come here. Meet them.
Oh, yes.
I touch your feet, David ji.
How old is the baby?
He's one month old.
It's a boy.
- A boy? Very nice. - Yes.
Varun ji, how are you? Everything good?
- Hey. - He is very nice.
Why are you asking him?
He is sitting right there. Ask him directly.
Mother, if I ask him directly, then you will call my mother
and complain that I am talking directly to heroes.
Is that what you think I am as a mother-in-law?
Someone who does that? I don't do such things.
Talk to him directly. Be comfortable and ask whatever you want openly.
Okay.
Can you lift your T-shirt and show me your six-pack?
Show me.
Show me your biscuits.
Show me.
Hey!
What are you doing?
Did you not tell me to speak openly with him?
I told you to speak openly with him, not strip his clothes off!
David ji, who is akin to your father-in-law, is present here.
Don't you feel ashamed of acting like this in front of him?
Let me call you mother.
- Mother, no! Don't call her. - Wait, I will.
Don't call her.
She's in the hospital. She just had an eye operation.
- Eye operation? - Yes.
A week ago, she had a kidney stone operation.
Yes, as she was having a kidney stone removed,
she was watching it, and the stone flew out and hit her eye.
- Let me see how she's doing. - Yes, do that.
Sister, hello!
What kind of daughter have you raised?
She's lifting the shirts of heroes to check their biscuits.
Is this her manners?
No. Why are you apologizing? Ask her.
Yes, knock some sense into her.
You didn't even ask her how she was doing.
You're right. I forgot.
Let me ask now.
David ji, how are you doing?
All good.
- Everything fine? - Top notch.
He's fine, but why are you blocking my view?
Sit here.
Yes.
I really like you.
- Thank you. - You're my favorite.
- Very good. - Daughter-in-law, do one thing.
- Yes? - Look at the bird over there.
Look at the bird!
Where's the bird?
I like you so much, look at this. One minute.
I brought a teddy bear for you.
This teddy bear is just as cute as you.
- You're very cute. - Thank you.
Don't tell her about the teddy, okay?
Mother.
I didn't see a bird over there.
Really?
I think Sardar ji may have scared her away with his actions.
Varun ji.
I saw your movie Bhediya,
- and it reminded me of something. - What?
- Once a wolf came into our house. - Really?
Yes. Our buffalo got really scared.
Yes, I got very scared that day, too.
But that's exactly what I said! Why are you repeating it?
- You called me a buffalo? - Yes!
No, she called the buffalo her mother-in-law.
- Mother! - Yes!
- Look at that! - Yes. This…
David ji bought a gift for my son.
It's not for your boy.
It's…
You see, he just became a grandfather.
So he must have gotten this for his grandchild.
Why would such a big man buy such a lousy gift?
Someone must have given it to him.
It's possible.
It looks like a very third-class gift.
Listen.
Gifts don't have any class.
A gift is a gift. You see the love behind it,
the love with which it's given.
But it's still very bad!
Very poor.
Listen, the giver gave the gift, the receiver accepted it.
Forget it. What's it to us?
The gift's so lousy, you can guess the giver's no good either.
I'm the one who gave this gift!
I did!
Who? Me!
Call it lousy now!
Call it third-class. Come on!
I will call your mother!
- No! Don't call her! - I will call her!
Mother, please don't! Don't call her!
Please don't! I'm getting dizzy. My BP is dropping.
Please don't! I'm getting dizzy.
Hold up.
You're getting dizzy, your BP is dropping, yet you never fall.
What's the point?
Okay, I'm not calling her.
I gave him the gift for your own good.
What's my good in this?
You're such a fool. You don't get it.
If I give him a gift,
a good relationship will form,
and maybe because of that,
he might cast you as a heroine in his next film.
Kapil, I'm not interested in being a heroine.
- It's useless. - Why?
No matter how well you perform, it doesn't matter.
You just do one hot scene,
and the next day you're the national crush.
Am I wrong?
Good acting amounts to nothing.
That's not the right way to think.
You have the right to dream.
Every human does. Keep dreaming.
I don't dream.
Dreams are for people with no work.
I have a lot to do at home. Hardly any time off.
Why should I dream?
What's the point? Pointless dreams.
I hardly get a breather.
I sit for a minute, and the baby wets his bed.
I rush to change him.
Father-in-law asks for his bidis again and again.
She doesn't help you?
No one helps me.
Yesterday, I sat for a second,
and my five-year-old nephew came crying to me.
His little squirrel got stuck in the zipper of his pants.
Where do I even find time to dream? And what's the point anyway?
She's very naive.
You shouldn't be sharing all this here.
Once you become famous,
you can talk about your struggles on a podcast.
- Yeah. - People's words there are truly valued.
Oh, yes.
You're sharing all this in the wrong place.
Why would anyone want to hear stories about a squirrel's adventures?
Alright, fine. If you don't want to do that, then do this.
- She's an excellent dancer. - Show us a demo.
- Yeah. - You need proper dance training.
Just like Nora Fatehi.
Then you can perform item numbers.
No way. All those Bollywood people learn their dance moves from the villages.
- Really? - Yes.
- Hold my boy for a minute. - Yes.
They learn from us.
- From where? - Which step?
You know our goat?
One day, she was grazing like this,
- and two dry leaves fell on her back. - Yes.
So she did a step like this…
One minute. Should I show you one?
Let me.
- Oh, no! - Play the music.
Superb!
- Tell me something. - Ma'am, you're amazing.
Why does your son look so perplexed?
Any child forced to watch this dance step would lose their mind.
Even I'm perplexed.
His eyes nearly popped out
after watching his grandmother dance.
Let me call your mother.
Stop!
Wow! They're brilliant.
David,
you started out as an editor, right?
- Basically, I'm an editor. Even today. - Yes.
You may not believe this,
but I have edited at least 50 films.
- Wow! - Before I became a director.
I worked with Mahesh Bhatt
- on his film Naam. - Oh.
- Wow. - Yes.
- I also edited Mukul Anand's films. - Yeah.
Even today, if you visit my office, you'll find me in the editing room.
We're always worried, as he's a ruthless editor
and might turn the entire movie into a reel.
Actors' performances in films aren't always up to the mark.
So you have to remove those, too. Cut out the mistakes and weak moments.
Trim it and fix everything.
In fact, he's a gold medalist from FTII.
- Yes, I remember! Yes! - Yes, we know.
Wow!
- I was editing Naam, - Okay.
and Sanju used to drop by to see me.
That's how we became friends.
One day, he said to me,
"Why don't you become a director? You know the work."
I replied, "That's a good idea,
but who would give me a film?"
You know what he told me?
"You've got the film. I signed one yesterday."
"You'll direct it. I'll send someone to meet you."
- Incredible! - That's how I became a director.
- Wow! - Really? Wow!
Yes.
To this day,
- Nice. - we're still just as close.
David sir, as they say, a child reflects their parents.
What quality of yours do you see in Varun?
One of Varun's qualities is that
- he takes great care of his parents. - How sweet.
That's a wonderful quality.
- Because I was hospitalized twice. - Yes.
He would come and stay there every night.
Yeah. When he had to leave, Rohit would come.
They were always there.
And he knew all the doctors.
There were seven to eight doctors.
He would get reports from each one of them.
Now, when I'm lying in bed sleeping,
even though I'm fine now,
they still come and check if I'm alright.
I feel very blessed to have an elder brother.
Because if I'm out of town for a shoot or something,
- at least-- - He's always there.
Of course, my sister-in-law and my wife are there.
Mom is there with him. Mom takes the greatest care of him.
But I feel
the kind of sacrifices my elder brother has made for my success,
- for his success, - A lot.
that will…
He always tells me, "Go to your shoot."
"I'll handle things here."
I've often fallen sick on set. Something or the other keeps happening.
The same thing happened in Bangkok.
He took the next flight
- and came to me. - Rohit does that.
Yes, Rohit. Then I tell him, "This is the scene. Finish it."
He has always stepped in and taken over as the director.
Always. Never let the producer suffer.
Some time ago, when he fell sick,
we had just started shooting Hai Jawani Toh Ishq Hona Hai.
He was fine.
On the sixth day, he was in the ICU.
- Oh! - Oh, God!
He was completely hooked up to machines in the ICU.
I went to see him,
and the first thing he said to me was,
"You haven't taken a bath?"
It really caught me off guard.
I didn't laugh or cry.
I was just stuck in this weird state of mind.
Then he says, "Go take a bath and get back to shooting."
That was one of the hardest days of my life. I remember it clearly.
We were shooting, Rohit was with me,
and-- I don't know.
You're shooting
while your dad is in the ICU.
It's just really difficult to…
work under those circumstances.
Varun, you have two directors at home.
The legendary David Dhawan sahab and Rohit Dhawan.
Even then, when you sign a film with someone else,
don't they give you that look across the dining table at night?
Sir, I have two directors at home,
but their house only has one actor, right?
- But they still work with other actors. - Well said!
Good one!
But honestly, if you ask me,
I believe an actor should be cast according to what the script demands.
Only then can the film work.
Making a good movie requires good intentions.
The intentions have to be right.
No matter how much money you spend or how big the star cast is,
it won't work
- if the intentions aren't there. - Yeah.
And the director has to have the best intentions.
- You're right. - Filmmaking is a director's medium.
- Right. - I've seen it and learned it myself.
If your director is lazy or not fully committed,
no matter what you do, the film won't succeed.
Honesty is extremely important. I say this as a director.
We've heard about David sir,
that when he's shooting a scene,
if he's not satisfied, especially a comic scene,
he says, "It's not wet enough."
And if it's a romantic scene,
he says,
"It needs a little more salt."
David sir, for example-- These are your catchphrases.
Say your cook brings you food
and you genuinely remark, "It needs a little more salt."
What if he starts blushing? "Come on, David ji."
That was just a joke.
How did all these catchphrases start?
Tell us more about "It needs a little more salt."
See, a director sees the film through the audience's eyes.
- Yes. - If he doesn't enjoy it--
A line that doesn't feel forced.
- Some dialogues sound clunky or forced… - Right.
That line isn't needed. Even without it, you can create the moment.
- Right. - Until you reach that,
it won't be enjoyable.
But some actors can really pull it off.
David sir,
you have a great grasp of your craft, your editing, and your script,
but managing people is another skill.
Every person acts and reacts differently.
Handling a massive cast
- with different temperaments… - It's very difficult.
- There are bound to be hurdles. - But I managed.
I did the maximum number of two-hero films.
Salman and Akshay Kumar were in this one…
- Mujhse Shaadi Karogi. - Mujhse Shaadi Karogi.
It wasn't easy to work with them.
They both have very different temperaments.
Akshay has a habit of fiddling around during a scene.
Salman tells me, "Tell him he better not touch me."
Oh, man! But I managed to handle it.
Sanjay Dutt and Salman bhai.
- The Sanjay-Salman duo was the best. - Really?
I mean, getting them to act…
But they were outstanding.
Salman and Saju were the best pair.
They love and respect each other.
Today we have the legendary director David sahab with us, along with Varun.
They're a father-son duo.
That's exactly what we were talking about.
Sometimes a father feels his son doesn't understand him,
and the son feels his dad, being from another generation,
just doesn't get him.
Anyone who wants to join the discussion, raise your hand.
Let's stir up some fun arguments, David sir. That's what I do.
Yes.
Is he the father or the son?
Hello! Both father and son are here. Hello.
Sir, in our relationship, I am the father…
Is that so?
- And your name is…? - My name is Lokesh Vijayvargi.
Sir, I'm from Dewas, Madhya Pradesh.
- Jai Hind, Kapil sir. - Jai Hind, sir.
David sir, Varun sir, I retired from the BSF.
- Oh, wow! - I have a small complaint about my son,
and I'd like to talk about it. If I'm east, he's west.
- If I'm north, he's south. - Alright.
Sometimes I like to unwind…
with a drink, but he avoids all that.
- Like a complete lazy… - Very good.
- I mean-- - Lazy?
Just because he doesn't drink, he's lazy?
It's actually a good thing
your son avoids all that.
Anyway, what other differences do you both have?
I'll tell you. I had a female friend come over
- for lunch once. - A female friend?
That's how it starts.
- Okay. Then? - She came home.
We treated her really well. My dad even got her a paan.
Everything went fine. At the end, we sat down to chat.
"Child, what did you really see in him?"
"Do you know he wakes up at 11 a.m. on holidays?"
"What's the reason--? He doesn't even shower."
Should you even be sharing all this?
Exactly. What if she marries you, comes home,
and sniffs you and says, "You don't shower?!"
"Why did you hide this?"
Good thing your father let her know.
Wait, you wake up at 11 a.m.?
- On holidays. - "Disclaimer." Only on holidays, sir.
- How many days off do you get? - Saturday and Sunday, sir.
You get Saturdays off?
- Oh, man! - Yes.
Bro, what do you do?
Sir, I just finished my MBA, and this is my first job in Mumbai.
Okay. And what does your female friend do?
She was a friend, not anymore.
- Okay. - But--
And your dad's female friend, your mom, isn't here today?
- She's here. - Hello! Namaste.
Who do you think is right here?
Your son or your mother-in-law's son? Who?
Sir, for me, both are right.
I have never seen my mother-in-law's son.
- Wait, what? - I have seen him, but…
I really like him too.
But your son is still your son, after all. I like him a lot.
Brother, your father serves in the BSF,
- Yes. - and over there,
there are no Saturdays or Sundays.
- Obviously. - They work nonstop.
You all protect our country day and night.
- So first of all, salute to you for that. - Thank you.
Jokes apart.
Whenever you get the chance, sit down with your father…
and… I'm sure--
Just learn about his journey.
Only a lucky few get that chance.
- Many-- - Absolutely, sir.
We often look back
and realize it later. I lost my father when I was 22.
- Your father is your first hero. - Definitely.
He's the one you should learn from.
I never got that… opportunity.
But those who are fortunate enough
to have elders in their home
should sit with them and learn from them.
If you spend time listening to them,
- you will not need to read any book. - What he said is absolutely right.
- Absolutely, sir. - I want to share something
from my own life. My father retired
from a good banking job.
He lived his life to the fullest.
He-- After he retired,
when I had started working,
he would sometimes come and stay with me.
Many times, I would be in a hurry and say, "Dad, I'm heading out. See you later."
I couldn't give him time.
I realize that now,
and I feel guilty about it.
Everyone goes through this, David sir.
No, it is-- I understand it now.
When he returned
from Hong Kong, where he had been posted,
he had retired.
At that time, I was working as an editor. I didn't even own a house.
He wanted me to get married.
He even found a girl, met her family, and handled everything.
You will not believe this. He took money
from his provident fund and bought me a small house.
- He made sure I had a roof over my head. - Incredible.
David sir, I truly believe
they are always around us. We just cannot see them.
Wherever your father is watching you from, he must be very proud.
Love you, David sir! You are amazing!
You are so wonderful.
- And-- - But through all my struggles,
my wife stood by me like the Rock of Gibraltar.
She started working
so we could manage things. Our kids were still small.
She would take them
to play cricket and to other activities.
We were not well off.
She would work,
stitch clothes, even build furniture.
But she has…
That's how we came this far.
It's okay.
- Now-- - Sir, you cannot imagine
how many lives your words will change.
So many people will feel inspired.
People who look for shortcuts will now understand
- that this struggle is important. - I'm certain of one thing now.
This poor fellow will never take a holiday again.
We have scared him.
- Sir, a salute to you. - Yes.
Many people from my family
serve in the forces.
We know the work of the BSF
is extremely difficult. Even though we have…
never done it ourselves, we understand how tough it is.
I once even went to enlist in the BSF.
That is a story for another time.
- But a big salute to you, sir. - Thank you.
Please come join us on the stage. We have a special gift for you.
Bro, come.
Namaste.
Welcome.
Sir, congratulations
on winning a trip to Thailand for your family from Goibibo!
Explore the world together, and keep watching our show together.
Thank you very much for coming on the show.
Wow!
Girdhari Lal ji, that was amazing!
What was?
That song had Sallu and me in it,
so why did you pair me with this Allu?
Stop throwing Sallu's name around.
Don't forget, long before Sallu came along, I was your real partner.
Yes.
Man, I was just giving babies.
I was just kidding, man. Come on, Mutthu!
I was--
Oh, man!
Hey, David sahab!
This is incredible!
David sahab! David sahab is here!
- Oh! - Hey, Chandramukhi!
David sahab is here! Hey, Surajmukhi!
David sahab is here! Oh, man!
David sahab!
Amazing! Love you!
Love you, sir ji.
Man! Mutthu, this is amazing!
Look at Dhawan ji's physique.
What a body.
That's true.
Check out his muscles!
Looks like he hits the gym every single day.
Don't you think you're flattering him a bit too much?
Mutthu, by Dhawan, I didn't mean David ji,
I meant Varun Dhawan. Look at his muscles.
- My bad! Sorry. - Why are you getting confused?
- Sorry. - How are you, Varun?
I saw your movie Coolie No. 1 in theaters.
- I had such a great time. - Hey, you're mistaken again.
Coolie No. 1 didn't release in theaters.
It went straight to OTT.
Man, you keep mixing up the Dhawans.
By Dhawan, I meant David ji.
You still confused him with Varun Dhawan.
Sorry.
Sorry, my bad.
David sahab made such amazing films.
You've done so many "No. 1" films,
so why did you choose "No. 2"?
No. 2? When did I do that?
Him! That's his No. 2.
The whole world knows his first son is Rohit,
and Varun is the second. So Varun is his No. 2, right?
That's correct. You're not wrong there.
But David sahab,
- Oh, God! - your No. 2 is really something.
He's not all that innocent.
I know him well.
Sitting all composed isn't fooling a soul.
He's not all that innocent.
Do you know what he did to David sahab?
- What? - As soon as he became a hero in films,
he had David sahab as his dad.
And the moment he became a superstar,
he made David sahab a grandfather!
Incredible! Congratulations, David sahab!
Love you, man! Love you!
- That's nice. - I can already imagine
getting an earful at home for this mimicry.
David ji, I'm your huge fan.
A huge fan!
Back in the day, when I worked with him,
- he gave me so much love. - A lot.
He never made me feel lonely.
- Feel you what? - He never made me feel lonely.
That's true. When he asked me to sit in the vanity van,
he'd get four more people to join me,
- Why? - so I wouldn't feel lonely.
That's true.
When I went to eat lunch,
he'd line up four people in front of me,
- Why? - so I wouldn't feel lonely.
- Amazing. - After the shoot, when I went home,
he'd never let me travel alone in a car.
Instead, he'd hand me ten rupees
and make me take the bus with 50 more people.
What are you saying?
- So I wouldn't feel… lonely. - Lonely!
But he did the exact opposite with me, Mutthu.
He gave me a massive vanity van.
A huge vanity van, just for me!
I had five different dishes served to me.
- And the one eating them all was only me! - Me!
Other actors get one heroine.
He gave me two. And the one romancing both of them…
- was only me. - Me!
So, all things considered,
he loved you more.
After hearing you, why do I feel like…
his love for me wasn't more,
but his budget for me was less?
Was less?
I have to say, Mutthu,
you turned out very intelligent.
It only took you 35 years to figure that out. Incredible.
Incredible!
David ji, I do have a complaint, though.
You gave him two heroines to romance,
and I didn't even get one, not even to share!
Do you know that Antarctica
- and a honeymoon are the same for me? - Why?
Because I've only heard their names, but never experienced either.
- I've been wronged! - Cheating.
- David sahab, find him a nice girl. - I don't have any special demands either.
I want a simple girl.
Only her eyes need to be like Karisma Kapoor,
- hair like Raveena Tandon, - Wow!
nose like Urmila Matondkar,
and chin like Twinkle Khanna.
- Everything else can be simple! - Simple!
Simple!
David sahab, isn't he adorable? He has five mirrors at home
and still has a list of demands.
Are you making fun of me?
No way, man. I'll help you find a girl.
Please do.
David sahab, I've found a very rich man for him.
A man?
What are you saying?
Let me finish.
A rich man will have a rich daughter, right?
I've chosen her for you.
Hey, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly!
David sahab!
That girl's father
is on his way here.
- Please support him a little. - Yes.
Just say he's your child from a previous birth.
Please support me.
- Please support him. - Abandoned on the stairs.
"Abandoned on the stairs."
What's going on?
How can one girl have so many fathers?
They are not her fathers, Mutthu!
They are the boys her father rejected.
Now, he'll come here and select you.
- Oh! - Fix your hair.
Bhaisahab, can you make way?
You're magnificent!
I… I'm the girl's father.
Amazing!
That's insane.
- Superb! - I am the girl's father.
A father…
is more than just a father.
- Amazing. - It is God who truly makes him one.
- Oh, my God! - Unbelievable.
Remember this.
"Father" is not just a word.
It carries weight,
like a book written page by page in the ink of responsibility.
- Wow. - Remember this. A father is like the land
where the…
crop called children grows.
He waters it with his…
sacrifices.
He even installs the tube well.
Remember this.
This ink, book, crop… Why are you telling us all this?
Come here.
- Spot on! - Come here.
- Me? - Come here.
Taking into account the intricate strands of reflection weaving through my mind,
I narrate the state of my life as a father…
Oh, God! What is he saying?
Hey, seth ji!
Seth ji!
If the father is everything,
is the son nothing?
If the son is a little reckless, the father is his umbrella.
Wow!
Oh, man!
If the son wants, the father can be his corner shop.
If the son is a biscuit, the father is the dough.
Remember this.
If the son is a train, the father is the track.
If the son is a handkerchief, the father is the bundle.
- Wow! - Wow!
The train just reminded me of something.
May I speak to them?
The train reminds you all of something, too.
- Say it! What are you waiting for? - Tea, tea, breakfast, say breakfast! Tea!
Tea, tea!
- Tea, tea! - That's enough.
Let me first talk about my daughter's marriage.
Then I'll come to you.
Wait, wait. Wait right there.
- How does he…? - Reminds me of bhaijaan.
Young man.
What a boy you've found.
No, seth ji.
Wow, what a boy! Truly admirable! Absolutely beautiful.
- No, no-- - Absolutely one of a kind.
Seth ji, seth ji, seth ji…
- Seth ji. - Too good.
The boy isn't there.
The boy is right here, seth ji!
Nonsense! Is this the boy?!
This is the boy?!
Come here.
"Come here."
- Me? - Come here.
Don't come here again. Go back!
You, come here.
Why are you roaming around with this propaganda?
Seth ji, what propaganda?
Look at him! He's a proper rhino!
He's a proper-genda.
Nicely written.
Come here.
"Proper-genda."
He has no tail, no horns.
And yet, he's still a proper-genda!
Seth ji.
- Go back. - Seth ji.
Don't come here again.
Seth ji, he hasn't had proper denting and painting done yet.
Once that's done, he'll be perfect.
Honestly, for your daughter, he's just perfect.
Oh, my God!
No boy can ever be perfect for my daughter.
Look at all of them.
They came to marry her.
But see, they all fell short.
This one…
He's standing at the very threshold he can't even step past.
The threshold of incompetence.
A capable girl can't even enter his house.
This boy didn't get past the prelims.
He couldn't clear the viva.
- Viva? Oh, seth ji… - And this one--
Is this your daughter or an UPSC exam that no one can pass?
- What's going on? - Come here.
"Come here."
You, traitor, growing like a weed on the land of deceit!
Before I pull you out with the hoe of honesty and throw you away…
Oh,God! I just remembered him!
- Amazing. - I want to talk to him.
Wait a minute.
You, come here.
Can you serve food?
- Serve food? I can do that. - Oh, wow!
You can serve food, so why not be a waiter?
Why do you want to marry my daughter?
Go back!
- What's wrong with him? What a character! - Come here.
Come here.
He's unbelievable.
Can you change a tire?
- I can change tires. I've done it before. - Then put four tires under yourself
and become a truck. Why do you want to marry my daughter? Go back.
Go back.
Sunil, you nailed it!
- Come here. - "Come here."
Me?
Can you make tea?
Now he'll tell me to set up a tea stall.
I don't know.
I've never made tea in my life.
This is destiny. This is fate. Look!
My daughter loves tea.
And he can't make it. So, the match is off.
He will not marry my daughter.
If you could make tea,
I would have married my daughter to you.
Go back.
- Come here. - Hey!
If the match is canceled,
then why all this "come here, go back, come here, go back"?!
I want you to complete your 10,000 steps.
Too good.
I don't want to marry your daughter.
Your daughter's match is canceled!
- You're right, Mutthu! - You're just a roadblock,
a hole in a medu vada!
Yes!
Hey!
You with lips as dry as winter,
a useless 2,000-rupee note!
You're like broken road tar,
five-day-old sambhar!
Clear away the rain clouds, eat, scratch, turn off the light, and sleep…
What's this?
What is he even saying?
Life's a mess today,
- eight mouths to feed. - What are you even saying?
Move out of the way!
- What? - Go!
- Enough of you! - What is this?
Move aside a little!
Come here.
Oh, man!
- He's talking to the camera! - What is this?
I'm not the girl's father.
I'm not even married. I just showed up here.
Go back.
What? He's not the girl's father!
Grab him and beat him!
Wow, man!
Too good.
Mind-blowing!
Friends, let's hear a big round of applause for our guests.
David sir, that was amazing.
- Thank you for coming. - Thank you.
Thank you so much, sir.
That was wonderful.
Every time you come on the show, it's always a blast.
- But today was-- - Today was truly…
I mean…
I want to say this from my heart.
Before I became an actor,
I used to travel with my dad,
and people used to clap for him.
And I wanted to become an actor,
so I used to think when people would clap for me.
But today I'm here as a son.
I'm not here as Varun Dhawan, the actor, but as a son.
And today I'm so happy that you're clapping for my father.
Thank you from my heart.
Thank you, David sir. Thank you, Varun.
And a big thank you to all of you.
Friends, when there is sweetness in the way you speak,
smiles naturally find their way into your relationships.
Life starts to feel even more beautiful.
Speak to everyone with kindness. Keep laughing.
Keep smiling. Make your life beautiful.
And thank you so much
for giving us so much love this season.
We will see you again next season.
Until then, keep watching our old episodes on repeat.
And keep squeezing every bit out of that Netflix subscription you paid for.
Until then, keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show.
Every Funnyday, for a fresh dose of fun, only on Netflix.
Good night. Take care. Thank you!