Wow!
Good evening, and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show!
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
- Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! - Thank you so much! Please sit.
Love you!
Who said that?
God bless you.
Sidhu paaji, these days everyone
has a YouTube channel.
You both know that.
Even if someone is on a Netflix show
streaming in 192 countries,
they still start their own YouTube channel.
That's me.
If there are four people living in a house,
the mother has her own channel,
the father has one, and the kids have their own.
Now I'm talking about you.
What I mean is…
If you see, everyone
is making a video.
There are so many channels.
Wives are in the kitchen like, "Guys,
I have made dahi bhalle and kadi-chawal today."
Her husband is dumbfounded in the background.
She makes the dishes and posts them on YouTube.
Then the mother-in-law says,
"Her food is good only in the video."
"That day, she made kadi-pakoda,
and I broke my teeth eating it."
Girls give makeup tips online.
I am amused.
"Guys, put on moisturizer first."
"Next, put on some foundation."
"Highlighter followed by blush and lip gloss."
"Lastly, black eyeliner with magenta mascara,
and your 'no-makeup look' is done."
"No-makeup look"?!
You put 28 different things on your face.
Your lips are two sizes bigger.
It confuses the duck.
Bubbly sister-in-laws from small towns.
They're also active on YouTube.
"Hi, guys!"
They can't get through a sentence without "guys."
"Hi, guys!"
If you comment on their video
that they look bad,
they'll drop the "guys" and start cussing you out.
"Mind your own business, you dog!"
"Guys, today I'll tell you about backless blouses."
"A single string is holding it together."
Old men, when they hear this, take off their normal glasses
to put on their reading glasses.
And his wife says,
"Hey. Why did you put on your reading glasses?"
"You wanna tattoo her back?"
People who hand out life advice have their own channels.
Piano plays in the background when they talk.
Play the piano, please.
Their expressions
are a mix of Arun Govil and Alok Nath.
They will blink in slow motion.
With a smile, they say,
"The struggle is for peace, friends."
"Everyone is living their lives."
"Life is too short."
His wife goes, "What's too short?!"
"Your mother has been here for 25 days. When will she go?"
"'Life is too short."
Some people
make travel videos.
"Pack your bags and leave your home."
"A beautiful world is waiting for you."
Someone comments,
"We left, but who will pay for this? Your dad?!"
But it's true, paaji.
Talented people have worked hard and become superstars
through their original content on their channels.
Both our guests today are stars like that.
Millions of people watch them.
Let's call them.
Please welcome Mr. Samay Raina and
Mr. Ranveer Allahbadia.
Love you, bro!
Welcome.
Welcome to the show.
Hey…
Welcome.
Samay! Samay! Samay!
Amazing!
Do you see how much they love you?
They're just happy that we're not in jail.
You all know them very well.
Last year, they were the most searched celebrities.
People were looking for them online,
and the cops were looking for them offline.
How did you feel last year?
It was a weird year, sir.
There are only two people in this studio who have been to the Supreme Court.
That's us and Sidhu paaji.
That's why I wrote something for you.
- Really? Wow. - Amazing.
- Let it out. - Let's hear it!
Won't stop myself after facing problems
- Won't stop… - Wow!
Wow!
Won't stop myself after facing problems
I will be back to bring back your smiles
- Nice. - Wow!
We don't quit the game with one setback
We were strong before Stronger is our comeback
Wow!
Paaji, if he makes another joke today,
- we'll all beat him up. - No…
It feels like I am back home.
I'll get some tips from you two today.
On how to bounce back.
The last time Ranveer and Samay were together,
a case was filed against them.
You are together once again.
Would you like some tea, coffee, or anticipatory bail?
Did you use to watch Latent?
I have watched many episodes.
- I even called Samay. - Yes.
I called and told him,
"How's there not a single case against you?"
So…
And I swear, the day my show was shut down,
sir called me a day before that.
He told me something bad would happen to me.
That's true. Tell them.
I told him that you're in the limelight.
Be careful now.
I was telling that from experience. I'm not a clairvoyant.
You can be famous by saying anything.
But once you're famous,
- you can't just say anything. - Amazing.
All I want to tell both my brothers
is that you two are not married.
But everyone working on our show
has kids and families.
We'll do this episode carefully.
I was careful back then, too, sir.
No, I…
This is a family-friendly zone.
I will be family-friendly.
- But Ranveer is very sweet. - He is.
And such controversies that happen,
they are a learning moment.
I'm sure you learned a lot.
People love you so much today.
When the show was shut down,
who called whom first?
What did you say?
- I called the lawyer first. - Okay.
Yeah. He was not reachable.
Okay. Where did you go after turning off your phone, Ranveer?
One of my brothers is in the audience.
I was at his home.
- Wow! - He's here for that.
The one sheltering the criminal is also a criminal.
I had no clue. He just rang my doorbell.
He was there, and I let him in.
Later, I got to know what was happening.
When you saw the clip,
didn't you kick him out?
After that, I was planning to leave home.
After this controversy, did you get more gig offers,
or were the ones already booked also…?
They said, "It's okay. Keep the advance."
I got a lot of calls, sir, but comedy is very difficult these days.
Now you get it?
Sir, I don't know how you do it.
At that time, genuinely, the first call I got was from Kapil sir.
I still don't know whether it was concern or an insult.
He said, "Samay, just like your good days are over,
- your bad days will be over soon too." - End soon.
We were waiting for something to happen.
Kapil sir also stopped tweeting around then.
That's why I stopped!
- The first couple of weeks were so quiet. - Yes.
Udit Narayan also stopped kissing people.
Kapil!
You came here ages ago. Around 2004-2005?
- In 2007. - Right.
I can see the 2007 Kapil
in this boy.
- Oh, wow. - You're lovely.
- He's fun. - Amazing.
- Very nice. God bless you. - Samay.
Samay, this is a compliment for you.
But I mean it. You're amazing.
Like a breath of fresh air.
First, I would like to say that he has a very kind heart,
- True. - and that's what people should know.
Absolutely. Imagine shutting down someone's show,
and they still let you live.
They must have a kind heart.
We have become even closer friends over the last year,
- I feel. - That is what he thinks,
and he is right.
It is true.
Lovely. So funny, son.
You are bound to become friends
since you are slapped with the same charges, right?
When something like this happens,
- you become ten times more careful. - You become more careful.
Now, when you prepare for comedy,
do you rehearse it with friends or with lawyers?
Sir, I go around with a lawyer now. Genuinely.
Really?
The one sitting next to you… Didn't they break his theater?
Sir, he has a comedy theater here.
It's called "The Habitat." It's very famous.
Every other week, he gets a call
with a threat about trashing the venue.
Oh, my God!
Balraj, I'd like to talk to you.
- Yes, sir. - Firstly, sorry
about your venue.
- Thank you, sir. - How many times did they break it?
Sir, thrice.
People come there after getting offended by a joke.
Then, all we can do is speak…
All of you present here
have been a great inspiration for us.
After seeing you, we want to make people laugh.
- Thank you, sir. - Thank you, brother.
This is genuinely a very big moment for me.
I have been watching you since my childhood
across various shows.
It was always my dream
to come on TV with you guys.
- Nice. - I never thought that
you yourself would come on OTT one day.
But…
I genuinely love you so much, Archana ma'am and Sidhu paaji.
- Thank you. - I love you guys so much.
Son, if God shuts one door, then He opens ten windows.
You just have to look for the windows.
But people only throw stones through them.
- Love you, sir. - Love you, kiddo. You're brilliant.
- Superb. - Sir.
Whatever I am, I've learned from all of you.
Genuinely, you're a part of my entire childhood.
I used to watch you.
You and Shekhar sir. I watched you on Comedy Circus.
I used to watch every single episode.
And still you didn't learn what you should say and what you should not?
Let's sit and continue our chat. Please come.
Too good, man.
Sir, genuinely, I respect you both a lot,
but I respect Archana ji a little more
because Waqar Younis never got her out for zero.
You scoundrel!
No matter who you aim at, the pillow always hits me.
His batting was quite strong, right?
Even when the two of us went to the police station,
we met a lot of fans of Sidhu paaji there.
Really?
They were taking people into rooms and repeating his dialogues.
- Which one? - "Thrash them good."
- This boy is too good, man. - Oh, my God!
He's just too good.
Ranveer, tell me, what's this name BeerBiceps?
When I began, my goal was
to create a fitness channel,
so I thought I should have a cool name like in wrestling,
- Yes. - HHH or Stone Cold.
I just wanted something cool.
- Okay. - But over time,
I stopped drinking beer.
- I still have a little bicep left. - Okay.
But the name became popular,
so we kept it.
So do you need a liquor license for it, or can you keep it without one?
- No, you don't need one. - Okay.
You all must have seen Samay's stand-up video.
He cracks a lot of jokes about his grandfather.
Samay, has your mother ever said
that just to get a few laughs, you're ruining family relationships?
The jokes about your grandfather, are they real?
Sir, if I were a poet,
I would have written poems in my grandfather's memory.
If I were a singer, I would have sung songs in his memory.
However, as a comedian, all I can do is write jokes in his memory.
- Makes sense. - Well said.
And I also spread awareness.
Paaji, my grandfather, once had an attack,
and I was the only one in the house.
- Okay. - I didn't know the ambulance number.
- Oh. - Okay?
You're all laughing. Do you know it?
Archana ma'am, do you know the ambulance number?
- The only number I know is 100. - That is the police.
Paaji, I didn't remember either, so I accidentally called 102.
Whose number is that?
- The fire department. - Fire! Yes.
So they showed up and asked, "Where's the fire?"
I said, "Well, now the fire will start in the morning."
Has a parent ever come up to you and said,
"My son is going astray after watching your videos"?
Yes, his parents did.
By the way, my parents love your show.
There's a story behind that.
- A genuine one. - Okay.
My grandfather was bedridden during his final days,
but he used to watch your show a lot.
So wherever he is, he must be very happy.
- Thank you, brother. - This is a big day for me.
Samay, you're an amazing comedian.
So, who do you think is the best
stand-up comedian in India?
Stand-up.
In this case--
Ma'am, there's no doubt that
not just in India but in the world, the best comedian
- is right here, Kapil Sharma. - Bro, love you.
Genuinely, what he does is very difficult.
I don't know how he does it.
Every week there's a new episode.
You must have done at least 1,000 episodes by now.
It is unbelievable.
There's a legend sitting right here.
Thank you, bro. Love you.
These people make it happen. The love they give you
boosts your confidence.
When you write a script, it's not always perfect,
but their applause and smiles tell you
to keep going because they're with you.
So all of this is because of your love.
Kapil paaji, I have a question for you.
Bro, be careful. Please…
Yes, please.
What are you like in life?
How does it feel to have run this show for so long?
What's your perspective on all of this?
When you meet a police officer, you ask,
"Sir, what are your hobbies?"
"I really like poetry," or something else. That's his hobby.
He probably listens to ghazals in his free time.
However,
our hobby became our profession and our bread and butter,
and with it came jam as well.
Right?
Jam is red, like Netflix, right?
I think it's a huge blessing from God
- that you get to do what you love. - Yeah.
We used to make people laugh even when we didn't get paid for it.
So put your heart into what you do,
and everything else will follow.
It's a blessing, bro.
As a child, I watched certain films and actors,
and when they come on our show,
I sometimes genuinely wonder
if this is all a dream.
You only get one life. Make the most of it.
Will you continue the show when you get older?
He's holding back since he usually brings up the afterlife.
Today--
In old age?
Man, I hope
that I leave this world while I am still working.
There's no greater blessing than that.
Absolutely.
So what should we talk about today?
- We can talk about death and stuff. - Oh, man!
You know, there are only two people in the world--
First are the LIC agents,
and second is Ranveer,
who keeps asking, "Do you know what will happen after you die?"
That's why older guests avoid his podcast.
Even if they come, they step outside to cough.
Has anyone ever felt uncomfortable with that question
or with any question in general?
No, I think people open up after that question.
- Oh. - It helps move the conversation forward.
How so? Give us an example.
Let's do a drill.
Do you think about death?
- I have not, man. - No?
I just feel like it should come with some notice, not all of a sudden.
But are you scared
or excited?
- I mean-- - Who gets excited about death?
"Wow, I'm going to die tomorrow."
What is that?
Man, we were talking about such nice things.
What happened? I'm scared of death.
Ranveer started it.
You know, he asked me last year
if I thought about death.
I obviously didn't,
but the entire past year, I kept thinking about death because of him.
- What happened, bro? Bathroom break? - He's from his team.
- From Ranveer's team? - Yes.
He must have gone to check if the police are here.
- Hi. - Hi.
Hello. Hi.
You shaved your arms, too?
That's incredible.
Listen, the guests are here. Where are the sweets?
Yes. They're here for the first time.
Sweets are a must.
I'm on a diet.
- Please. Have a little - Just a little.
since this is your first time.
Open your mouth.
Wow.
You can eat it once you get home.
- Why did you not feed him? - Don't let him open his mouth.
If he opens his mouth,
his dessert might cost us our main course.
I'm not gonna risk it.
She's right. He turned the show India's Got Latent
into India's Got De-Latent!
- It happens. Let me introduce myself. - Wordplay?
Did you get Sunil Pal to write today's script?
Samay, I have seen your show.
- You're good at it. - Thank you so much.
You even sit and listen to jokes from the audience, right?
Yes, sometimes.
- I have one. Can I? - Go for it.
There's a woman.
She comes out onto the balcony.
Her neighbor walks by
and asks her, "Is your husband at home?"
She says, "No, he's out."
What was that? Nobody laughed.
The cops didn't show up either, right?
Did the cops show up?
- Sometimes, even a weak joke will do. - Will do!
- That's true. - You're right.
- Should we check their stuff? - Stuff?
I mean…
The bags…
The stuff in your bags.
The bags.
- This is Ranveer Allahbadia's bag. - Yes.
Let's see what comes out of it.
"How to Talk to Alien."
"101 Tales of the Yeti."
I get it. You read books like that.
- That's why you go around asking people - Of course.
if they have seen a yeti or an alien.
Have you ever seen your own podcast?
It's India's best podcast.
It's mine.
I've seen his podcast. I'll tell you.
In one of his episodes,
there's a very big comedian named Kiku Sharda.
He said to him, "You're so cute
that if I were your wife…"
Hey, why are you lying?
No, I'm not. That's what he said.
No, not about what he said. About the lie you just told.
"Very big comedian named Kiku Sharda." Big how?
Big comedian?
On social media, everyone's fees are listed.
They have inflated yours by 200,000. Get it?
Let's frisk them properly.
Samay, can you please step forward? We need to check you.
- Sure. - Please come.
- Whose bag is this? - Samay's--
Oh.
Chess.
- You love playing chess, don't you? - Yes.
So tell me,
when you knew
about the bishop's moves,
the queen's moves,
and the knight's moves,
how did you not know about this big podcaster's moves?
Don't roast him so much. He'll like it.
You mean he'll not like it.
No, I mean Sunil Pal will like it.
If by any chance you don't understand our jokes,
our show streams on Netflix every Saturday.
Watch it. If you cannot watch it on Saturday,
you can watch it anytime. It'll be there forever.
Our episodes don't get deleted.
- Thank you so much. - Okay?
A huge round of applause.
- Bye! - Thank you.
Thank you.
We pulled up some of your pictures.
You know our audience.
They leave some amazing comments. Let's take a look.
KOMMENTER'S KRAVING
Samay uploaded this picture. "Caption this."
Who all are in this, Samay? You, Ranveer…
CarryMinati,
Fukra Insaan, and MrBeast,
who is the world's biggest YouTuber.
He's the Kapil Sharma of YouTubers. We also have Mythpat.
Let's check the comments.
"It looks like everyone has the same lawyer."
Let's see another one.
"The more serious the case, the closer to the front they're sitting."
Who's at the front? Oh, Ranveer.
Next.
Oh, nice.
"Nine years of BeerBiceps. I now enter my tenth."
"At the beginning of my career,
- my mind was full of ideas, - Will you be able to read the whole thing?
but my heart was full of--"
Did you really have to write that much?
Is that a samurai sword?
Yes, it's a samurai sword. It's called a katana.
- Okay. - So--
After cracking a joke, he hits that pose outside his house.
Let's see the comments.
The caption is so long, I don't think anyone left a comment. Okay.
What? "It's humbly submitted that
the caption abide by proper brevity
and not take on the form of an essay."
Very good.
Let's see another one.
"Before you flex the blade, double-check your drawstring."
- Let's see another one. - That was a good one.
"If you knew how to use your words,
you wouldn't need to use a sword."
Next.
Oh.
Is this from Scotland?
Sir, why did you pick this one?
Are you stretching your back?
I pulled a muscle before the show,
- just like you did today… - Yes, I did.
Yes. The guy was adjusting me,
but he made it worse.
That's the photo.
Let's read the comments.
"Saw the name Shaalu and called for a massage,
only to find out it was a guy."
Let's see another one.
Maybe he's into that.
"Are you practicing for your future arrest in America?"
Next.
"My real personality only comes through in Goa dumps,
not on the podcast."
Bro, have you ever had a complete blood test?
Yes.
- Were all the reports normal? - Yes.
What do you get out of it?
It feels nice, kind of like therapy.
Let's see the comments.
"Bro, I was lying on the beach like that once. A dog came up,
and before I could even move, it did its thing and just walked off."
Let's see another one.
"Going underground out of fear of the police."
Next.
Let's see the comments.
"Longest running and shortest running shows together."
Let's see another one.
"Show Stopper with Show Stopped."
People are really creative.
Next.
Done?
Sidhu paaji,
today we have a special guest with us.
His name is Charles.
He has a very sweet and fun personality.
- Okay. - Let's hear it for Charles.
Please come. We met at an event.
- Yes. - Okay.
Charles was hosting an event
at the Netflix office,
- Brilliant host, Charles. - and he…
absolutely killed it.
Charles!
I would first like you to tell the audience about yourself
and then continue with your performance.
First of all, it's ladies first, right?
- Yes. - So Archana ma'am,
the same thing, I love you.
My name is Charles Rao,
and I work for the National Association for the Blind India.
We are the first national association for the blind in India
that works from cradle to grave for the community.
To share my story, I wasn't born blind.
I gradually lost my vision.
Someone outside just asked me,
"Sir, since when have you been doing comedy?"
I said, "Son, ever since I was born, my life has been a comedy."
In the end, I have something for you, Archana ma'am.
Do you know the difference between sympathy and empathy?
Today I had to come on this show,
so I was standing at the edge of the platform, waiting to cross.
A man,
lost in his own thoughts, walked straight into me.
He bumped into me, grabbed my arm,
and didn't say a word.
I kept saying, "It's okay," as he led me away.
I kept walking with him.
Then he dropped me somewhere and disappeared.
From there, someone else grabbed me and left me somewhere else.
In the end, I realized I had been
walking back and forth between platforms one and two the whole time.
Because in their effort to sympathize with me, they kept walking me in circles.
Yes. So the moral is,
if you want to sympathize with someone, make sure you also practice empathy,
not just try to earn brownie points
and feel good about yourself.
Charles bhai, we should do a podcast together.
- There's a lot to learn from you. - Sure, sir.
Have you come here as a guest or to look for clients?
Kapil sir, I brought something handmade. My friend Praful…
- He's here. - Beautiful.
Thank you, brother.
We also have something for you.
- Charles, since you are so sweet, - Thank you, sir.
Goibibo is gifting you a foreign trip
- to Bali for your entire family. - Wow.
So proud of you, sir. Thank you.
A huge thank you for coming on the show. Thank you.
- A big round of applause for Charles. - Thank you.
We have Samay and Ranveer here with us.
Now it's time to call a stand-up comedian
who is senior to all of us.
He was the first winner of Laughter Challenge
on Indian television,
and he has been entertaining us ever since.
Please welcome Mr. Sunil Pal.
Sunil bhai!
Welcome.
How are you, sir?
I was just wondering,
how did you get here wearing shoes?
Sunil bhai, welcome to the show.
Whenever Sunil bhai gets on stage, he says,
"I'm Sunil Pal, the king of comedy, standing tall."
And he calls Samay comedy's terrorist.
When have you seen him throwing grenades from his mouth?
Please share your thoughts.
Sir, he really went after us back then. But never mind.
That was his love.
Kapil bhai, it would have been better if he had thrown grenades
from his mouth,
- because what actually comes out of him - Yeah.
is unbearable.
And what is unbearable doesn't belong in society.
Anyone who doesn't belong in society is basically a terrorist.
What can I say, Kapil bhai?
Such are the "times."
- And this guy-- - What's this, sir?
Hold on a second. I greeted you with so much love.
I mean, he has so many issues with me.
What, I throw grenades from my mouth?
What else, sir? I'm sure you have a list.
I don't perform at carnivals?
I say out-of-line stuff?
Sir, I have absolutely no problem with you, except that
you don't brush.
The days of brushing are long gone.
I got here through a lot of polishing.
I'm still being polished.
Yes?
- I love you so much. - Sort it out between yourselves, I'm out.
- But-- - Sunil bhai, have you forgiven him or not?
Because he genuinely loves you a lot.
I have just one request, nothing else.
Sunil, I want to ask, what has Samay actually done?
Well, in a classy gathering, you remember Ghalib.
In their gathering, it's just nonstop abuse.
If we are talking about abuse,
whatever abusive words I have learned,
I learned them from Sunil Pal ji's videos.
- But he has never used abusive language. - Not from him.
- From the comments on his videos. - Yes.
All those comments are probably from him.
I genuinely think Sunil Pal ji is truly number one.
Out of ten.
And…
Thank you very much, Kapil sahab, thanks for having me
at this amazing Gen Z gathering,
with two Gen Z superstars here.
- What can I even say about him? - What can you say?
He has a new name now. "Show Stopper."
- Show Stopper. - Yeah! Right.
This is a very cool life moment for me.
This generation's GOAT comic and the last generation's GOAT comic--
He has been to court so many times
- that when I met him outside-- - Sir, he just complimented you.
- You didn't even hear him. - Thanks a lot.
Thank you very much.
- Sir… Sir is always in attack mode. - Yes!
No…
Love you.
I have a query. As far as I know, Sunil bhai,
you were the first winner of the Laughter Challenge,
and watching you inspired us to audition.
And you-- I used to sit in that office.
We saw him getting calls all the time, his dates booked for the next six months.
"Sunil Pal is busy for six months straight."
He made tens of millions,
yet on the day of my movie's premiere,
- you showed up in flip-flops. - Yes.
- What was your strategy behind that? - Well, I knew
the guest list would be packed
with big names, one bigger than the other.
Among them,
I'm neither that handsome
nor that big
- What are you saying, sir? - for the camera to pan to me.
So I thought I should do something
that makes me stand out.
- Seriously? - Yes.
I thought you were just going about your day,
- saw the fanfare, and walked in. - No.
- He-- - I was-- Yes?
He's always in flip-flops.
He only sees shoes when they're thrown at him.
Sir ji…
Sir, he has said so many things about us.
- Today-- - My mom must be very happy watching this.
I just remembered something, Samay. During the Laughter Challenge days,
Sunil bhai, Pakistan's legendary comedian, Amanullah Khan sahab,
- Yes, yes. - said competitions are for…
film stars and heroines. "If she wears that, I'll wear this."
But who makes people laugh? There is no competition.
We are all just trying to make people laugh
and bring a smile to their faces.
Someone might get a few more laughs than you,
but it doesn't matter.
At the end of the day, the work you're doing is noble.
Sunil bhai, we have a lot of love in our hearts for you.
- And you should forgive them as well. - Yeah. No…
I only make requests.
I've never said anything about anybody--
- In case you have any issues-- - I've downloaded your videos on my phone.
As a comedian, I genuinely feel bad.
When we comedians get into trouble,
the whole world attacks us, the media, and everyone.
That's when we expect people from our industry to support us.
But even then, you come in all guns blazing…
It feels a little bad.
So--
- You know, let's have a debate on this. - Yes.
- A debate? - What should be allowed
in comedy and what shouldn't? Right here.
- Very good. - Done, sir. Let's go.
Welcome to TGIKS News Debate.
Wow.
Now tonight, in the debate…
Debate in the tonight…
You have to speak here.
It doesn't matter what you say, just say it.
There has to be noise pollution.
Lovely.
Create as much noise as possible…
- and be part of this debate. - Yes.
Let me introduce!
On the side of my eating hand…
we have two men and one woman.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Two women and one man.
Sunil Pal sir.
On the side of my wiping hand…
Hold on a minute.
What's this wiping hand?
You're such a big news anchor. Why don't you install a jet spray?
Oh, now I get it.
That spray makes you go…
That happens when the water pressure is too high.
- Let's concentrate on the debate. - Oh my!
Yeah, yeah!
Relax, relax.
On the side of my wiping hand, we have Ranveer…
Samay…
And what's your name, bhaisahab?
Look, I can't reveal my real name for security reasons,
but my social media name is
Argumentative Beast.
"Argumentative Beast?"
I go around to different places and argue.
I even have a Behas Union card.
So, before this, where have you argued?
You won't believe it, but I've been divorced twice.
All because of arguments. I had an argument with my wife.
I got married, and on the first night, she came and slept on my bed.
I have a habit of sleeping alone with my legs spread wide, Sidhu sahab.
I asked, "Why are you sleeping here?" She said, "I'm your wife."
I said, "Marriage doesn't give you the right to slip under my blanket."
I argued a lot.
So let's start this debate on comedy. First of all,
- we need to know what comedy is. - Yes.
In some shows,
men dress as women. So is cross-dressing comedy?
- You-- - I want to know that!
- Excuse me. - Well…
- I want to know that! - Excuse me!
Hear me out.
Can we please avoid this topic?
- No, we cannot. Sorry, we can't. - We can take this up…
- some other time. - No, no, no!
We're discussing this today!
Of course, today, since he left his blouse at home.
Obviously, he wants to debate this.
Hold on a minute.
I have the blouse with me.
- Uncle, can you please shut up? - Uncle?!
- Uncle, one minute-- - Your mother is an uncle!
I'd like to answer that.
An artist has no gender.
An artist can become a woman,
even an elephant, or a generator, anything.
An artist leaves home like a blank canvas.
He can become anything!
You've made a very poignant point.
Otherwise, I was ready to admit I do it for the money.
Listen, you in the corner. No offense, but I really don't like your face.
I'm sorry to say.
Honestly, you should upload your face on YouTube and then delete it.
But let me add! Let me add!
Can you please shut up for two minutes? Two minutes!
Can you just listen to me?
Yes.
Sunil Pal ji doesn't like
men dressing as women on shows.
Sunil Pal ji, are you sticking to that, or has your opinion changed?
I'd just like to say, since I'm from Nagpur,
which is known for its oranges,
I cannot tolerate this level of disrespect toward oranges.
Good one.
- But we don't get our oranges from Nagpur. - Yes!
We get ours from Andheri.
Now you don't have any objection, right?
Do you have any objections?
Sir, no, no, no! No!
- How can-- - Tell me if you have any objections!
- Tell me something. If you're from Nagpur, - Yes.
why are you so deficient in Vitamin C?
- Mr. Ranveer. - Yes?
What do you have to say about that?
Say something and shut this damn thing down so we can go home.
I've never seen a guy this smooth.
His face is like a boiled egg.
Completely smooth. Never seen anything like it.
Do you know it's not easy to get this smooth?
- Then? - After shaving, he rubs his face in sand.
That's the secret.
Men dressing as women.
What do you have to say about that, Ranveer?
I support it.
I'm very Gen Z in my mindset.
So I'm fluid.
First of all, what is Gen Z?
All these years, and I still don't know what Gen Z is.
Like behan ji, we have Gen Z.
Okay.
You tell me, Samay.
What's your take?
Sir…
Men dressing as women on the show…
Why don't you come here?
Just…
Take my seat.
Sir, I believe
a man playing a woman is also an art.
People only see the final result,
not the hard work behind it.
Like Kiku sir ji and Krishna ji here.
Backstage, they took 35 minutes
to become women.
And Archana ji took two and a half hours, right?
- That's nothing. - This is art.
She becomes a man in five minutes.
- So, once upon a time, - Oh!
- Victor said, "Laughter--" - Victor who?
I don't know.
But he said that, and I heard it.
Yeah.
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
- What does it mean? - Wow!
I don't know what it means.
I don't care what Victor said, but I do care about what I'm about to say.
I say, "Comedy lies in little things." Is it true?
Yes, it does. It lies in little things,
naughty things,
and sometimes inside loincloths too.
I really laugh when I see someone's loincloth flying off.
For example, this is a loincloth.
It's flying.
What's the joke? Tell me!
That's not fair.
This is cheating.
- Why? - You're wearing pants underneath it.
All the comedy is blocked by the pants.
I get it. I get it. Yeah!
I get it.
I would like to confess something today.
All this "little-little, naughty-naughty, dhoti-dhoti" wordplay that I've learned
is from Sunil Pal sahab.
I respect that.
There's a real class to his wordplay.
I've also encountered some strange individuals.
One guy meets Sunil Gavaskar at the airport and says,
"Sunil, Sing-With-Laughter."
That's terrible comedy!
No, no! Uncle!
He's the one who said it.
Oh, my bad! He must be having an off day.
Sometimes you skip sleep to catch a flight and-- I don't know.
I have a personal question for you.
Like you always say,
"Sunil Pal, the king of comedy, standing tall."
So what is this comedy that you did that makes you stand tall?
Tell us what you have to say about this!
What do you have to say?
See, all I want to say is,
a "crazy community" is what makes comedy.
Wow!
I would like to add something.
The Sunil Gavaskar pun was better than this.
That was my joke too.
I swear, I've been following everyone here for 15 years,
and this is the first joke Archana ji didn't laugh at.
Let me move on to the next topic.
Grandpa caught the woman next door from behind…
while she was stealing sugar.
See, the story took a turn.
Is that what you call comedy,
the art of suddenly changing the direction of the story after a pause?
I don't know about art, but there's a lot of comedy in farts.
I remember, Sunil ji, you had objected
to comedy that deals with farts.
What's wrong with it? The gas is passing. It's a fart!
It's a fart! What's the problem? It's a natural process. Fart!
Oh, my God!
Let me tell you.
No man…
is born a criminal.
Sidhu sahab, I'll tell you a story.
Ramesh and Suresh were two brothers.
Ramesh joined the police force,
- and Suresh entered the world of crime. - Okay.
Both had pistols.
But the world respects Ramesh. Why?
- Because he chose the right path. - Yes.
He became a cop.
In the same way, fart and burp are sons of the same mother.
But fart is not respected because it chose the wrong path.
- Shall I move to the next topic? - Yes, yes!
This topic is about
how we use words
like "elephant," "ant,"
and "donkey"
in our jokes.
- Look at his… - Why?
- Look at his-- - Because they don't have a voice?
Why?
- Where are you talking from? - Why do we do that?
- Listen, whatever you want to say, - Too good.
say it with your mouth.
Why do you mention donkeys, ants, and elephants?
I say you shouldn't mention chickens either.
In jokes, we often say a chicken lays an egg…
That poor thing has been laying eggs for years
without worrying about her figure.
And we make jokes about her. If the tables were turned,
trust me, we wouldn't be able to lay more than two eggs.
Two!
I disagree!
- You say two eggs? - Yes.
I can give three.
- Who does the third one belong to? - See this.
One, two, three.
Now you're talking. I was really hungry.
Two yolks and three whites.
One three-egg omelet. Here's 200.
This is the airport. It costs 800 rupees.
Why is an omelet 800 rupees at the airport?
They're chicken eggs, right? Or the pilot's?
Even the chicken doesn't put in this much effort to lay eggs
as you do to make an omelet.
Add some green chilis to it.
By now, it must have turned into a biryani.
- Let's move. - Move.
My question is, should there be body shaming in comedy?
What do you have to say about that?
The nation wants to know!
Answer it, fatso!
- Well, - Oh, my God!
- I believe that - Yes.
if a fat person is getting a fat check
to be called fat…
why should another fat person have any objection?
The long and short of it is, there's no problem with this.
Samay, what do you have to say?
Sir, I think it depends
on how far the fat person is from you.
If he's next to you,
then you shouldn't say it.
But if he's far away, then you can say it and run away.
- Correct. - And if you're not calling
a fat person fat,
but thin, then that's an even bigger insult.
- He might get more upset. - It's better to just swear, sir.
- Thank you. - This guy is too good.
You guys have really "moti-vated" me a lot. Thank you.
I want to ask you something.
Your face is like a cycle.
Why are you saying this while looking at me?
- This is just an example I'm giving. - Okay.
My finger just pointed your way.
She really did start looking like a big cycle to me.
Your face is like an embarrassed cat.
Your face is like an old athlete's shoe.
- Are all these still examples? - Yes, they're examples.
Your face is like a bathroom flip-flop.
- That's enough. - So all this "your face is like this,
your face is like that." Is that comedy?!
Is this comedy?
"Your face is like this and that…" Is this comedy?
You tell me, is this--
Oh, my God!
Grab him! Pull him out.
- Come out. - Oh, my God!
- Come out. - Is this comedy?!
- No, no! - Hey!
Wait, tell me something! Is this news?!
Oh, my God!
Tell me, is this comedy?
- Is this comedy? - Hey…
Is this comedy?
This guy has lost it!
Is this comedy?
- This guy has gone mad. - Is this comedy?
Sunil Pal ji, let's scram.
- This guy has gone mad. - Is this comedy?
- Go away! - Is this comedy?
Is this comedy?
Superb!
- Sunil! Sunil! Sunil! - Amazing!
Keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show.
And those who don't…