WEBVTT 00:21.079 --> 00:22.160 Come on! 00:27.920 --> 00:31.760 Good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show! 00:35.480 --> 00:36.520 Are you all happy? 00:36.600 --> 00:38.240 Yes! 00:38.320 --> 00:40.440 The ones who've come with wives happy? 00:40.520 --> 00:41.960 Yes! 00:42.040 --> 00:44.120 The ones who've come with their wives happy too? 00:46.320 --> 00:48.040 Has anyone come with someone else's wife? 00:48.120 --> 00:52.040 I mean, your father's wife… Your mother. 00:52.120 --> 00:53.520 Or your chacha's wife, your chachi. 00:56.160 --> 00:58.200 Who all have come with their wives? 01:01.480 --> 01:02.680 You two… 01:02.760 --> 01:04.760 a couple… Oh, this one? 01:05.600 --> 01:06.840 So, sir… 01:07.760 --> 01:10.880 - You've to rate your happiness out of 100. - 1000! 01:10.960 --> 01:12.080 - 1000 out of 100? - Yes. 01:12.160 --> 01:14.840 Do you really mean it or are you under some pressure? 01:14.920 --> 01:16.920 I mean it, sir. Mine is a love marriage. 01:17.000 --> 01:19.560 - Ma'am, same question to you. - 1001. 01:24.360 --> 01:25.560 You are blessed! 01:25.640 --> 01:28.040 Thanks a lot for coming to the show. Thank you, ma'am. 01:30.560 --> 01:34.720 How many people among you have worn clothes of your choice? 01:34.800 --> 01:36.000 And how many of you 01:36.720 --> 01:38.720 have worn clothes of your wife's choice? 01:39.400 --> 01:41.400 Your wife chose your clothes? 01:42.440 --> 01:44.000 Why do you go with her choice? 01:44.080 --> 01:47.040 Do you agree that her choice is better? 01:47.680 --> 01:49.800 - No, sir-- - Her choice is not better? 01:49.880 --> 01:51.360 Choice, I mean… 01:51.440 --> 01:54.160 I got a sudden chance, that's how it happened. 01:54.240 --> 01:55.600 - What happened? - My marriage. 01:55.680 --> 01:58.120 - Otherwise… - Chance? Did you just run into her? 01:58.200 --> 01:59.640 Yes, sir. I ran into her. 01:59.720 --> 02:01.480 You must have met or talked to her. 02:01.560 --> 02:03.400 - No, sir. I didn't… - Didn't even meet her? 02:03.480 --> 02:05.480 Ma'am, was he the only one on that road that day? 02:08.960 --> 02:10.440 How many years has it been? 02:10.520 --> 02:12.680 - Fifteen years. - Fifteen years. 02:12.760 --> 02:14.840 - How many kids do you have? - Two. 02:14.919 --> 02:16.680 Did you plan it or they also just happened? 02:16.760 --> 02:18.840 Not the first one, only the second. 02:18.920 --> 02:20.680 He just happened, we didn't realize. 02:23.600 --> 02:26.400 So much is happening with him and he's not realizing. 02:26.480 --> 02:28.960 You tell me, was he the only one on the road that day? 02:29.040 --> 02:30.720 Yes, sir. Only him. 02:31.520 --> 02:33.400 So, it wasn't your choice but the only option. 02:34.000 --> 02:36.080 You can say that. 02:36.160 --> 02:38.840 Thank you, please sit. Anyone else who went with wife's choice? 02:38.920 --> 02:42.480 - Yes? - I went with AI's choice. 02:42.560 --> 02:45.160 I took its suggestion on which dress I should wear. 02:45.240 --> 02:47.280 - AI or your Aai? - AI! 02:47.360 --> 02:49.320 - Artificial Intelligence? - Yes. 02:49.400 --> 02:51.080 I kept three dresses in front of it 02:51.160 --> 02:54.720 and asked which one is the best for The Kapil Sharma Show. 02:54.800 --> 02:56.880 What if it asked you to wear a skirt? 02:57.280 --> 03:01.880 No, it suggested that glittery outfits are not ideal. 03:01.960 --> 03:03.440 It gave explained in detail. 03:03.520 --> 03:04.800 Is he with you? 03:04.880 --> 03:06.000 No, he is not. 03:06.080 --> 03:08.200 Then why is he looking at you so lovingly? 03:12.080 --> 03:13.480 Sir, how are you? 03:13.560 --> 03:14.600 Is he with you? 03:14.680 --> 03:18.880 - No, sir… - Your husband's name on your Aadhar card, 03:18.960 --> 03:20.280 whose name is it there? 03:20.360 --> 03:21.840 Sir, I am single. 03:24.280 --> 03:26.600 Hey, congratulations! 03:30.280 --> 03:32.160 Both their faces started glowing! 03:32.840 --> 03:35.040 Wow! Thanks a lot for coming to the show. 03:35.120 --> 03:36.040 Okay, then… Thank you! 03:38.960 --> 03:41.440 I wish every couple be blessed. 03:41.520 --> 03:43.400 Since we are talking about couples, 03:43.480 --> 03:47.760 I'd like to invite a beautiful couple who all of you are crazy about. 03:47.840 --> 03:52.440 Please welcome the very beautiful Kareena Kapoor Khan and Mr. Saif Ali Khan! 04:56.320 --> 04:57.760 Saif sir! 04:57.840 --> 05:00.480 - Hello, sir. - Welcome, sir! Welcome, Kareena! 05:01.640 --> 05:03.400 A loud round of applause! 05:06.120 --> 05:08.160 In the audience today, 05:08.240 --> 05:10.400 there are so many couples and they are so excited! 05:14.440 --> 05:16.720 Before starting the show, 05:16.800 --> 05:19.320 let's take a selfie for social media. 05:19.400 --> 05:20.720 Everything is for social media now. 05:20.800 --> 05:22.160 Here we go! 05:25.360 --> 05:26.640 One this way too. 05:32.280 --> 05:33.680 Thank you! Thank you, Saif sir. 05:33.760 --> 05:35.280 - How? I do it too? - Yes. 05:35.360 --> 05:37.240 You are sharp naturally, sir. 05:37.320 --> 05:39.800 - Sharp… - Everyone has to do the Bebo pout! 05:40.560 --> 05:42.520 The entire audience should do the Bebo pout. 05:43.160 --> 05:44.040 Come on, Saif sir. 05:45.800 --> 05:48.400 Okay, we all will do the iconic pout 05:48.480 --> 05:51.000 that Kareena has taught the whole world. 05:51.080 --> 05:52.280 Okay, guys. Ready? 05:54.760 --> 05:57.240 A loud cheer for Saif and Kareena! 06:00.840 --> 06:03.800 - Thank you, guys! Thank you so much! - Thank you! 06:04.920 --> 06:06.560 Please come. Please come, Saif sir. 06:10.400 --> 06:12.800 Kapil, without any antenna or a wire, 06:12.880 --> 06:14.400 the heart is connecting to him. 06:14.920 --> 06:17.680 The girls' attention is turning towards him. 06:19.520 --> 06:23.680 This life was moving like the general car of a train, 06:23.760 --> 06:26.080 but after seeing Kareena, it's flying like a plane. 06:29.080 --> 06:30.520 Wow! 06:32.440 --> 06:33.880 Well said! 06:35.600 --> 06:38.160 Saif sir, Kareena, a warm welcome to you. 06:38.240 --> 06:40.520 - Thank you. - You both look so lovely, like always. 06:40.600 --> 06:42.680 - Thank you. - They've been married for 14 years. 06:42.760 --> 06:45.640 After 14 years, faces end up looking like 06:45.720 --> 06:47.440 they are serving a life sentence. 06:48.520 --> 06:51.360 But they look so fresh! Sir, what do you both eat? 06:51.440 --> 06:53.040 A lot of ghee is coming to our home nowadays. 06:56.320 --> 06:59.280 Free ghee for two years! 07:00.480 --> 07:02.760 Someone told me that this couple 07:02.840 --> 07:04.120 has gotten the better of Baba Ramdev. 07:05.560 --> 07:07.600 She started Yoga and he got ghee. 07:08.480 --> 07:10.280 Sir, I watched your video. 07:10.360 --> 07:13.520 You got so excited when Bachchan sahab said, "Congratulations!" 07:13.600 --> 07:15.880 "You get free ghee for two years." 07:15.960 --> 07:18.240 - Wow. - He got so excited 07:18.840 --> 07:20.400 that he said, "That's why I came!" 07:22.080 --> 07:25.000 Then Bachchan sahab confirmed with his team 07:25.080 --> 07:27.000 if he had announced ₹7 crore or something. 07:27.080 --> 07:30.520 No, you did say ghee. 07:30.600 --> 07:33.360 But your expressions were like you won ₹7 crore, sir. 07:33.440 --> 07:35.960 Saif sir, did you run out of ghee at house? 07:36.040 --> 07:38.280 No, there is ghee at home. 07:38.360 --> 07:40.160 But I got excited for the grainy-textured ghee. 07:44.600 --> 07:47.880 The way Amit ji announced it, 07:47.960 --> 07:49.600 I thought he was giving it personally. 07:50.840 --> 07:52.080 So, I got excited. 07:52.160 --> 07:54.240 But we use a lot of ghee at my house. 07:54.320 --> 07:55.240 Seriously, you do? 07:55.320 --> 07:56.920 The kids have it and we do too. 07:57.000 --> 08:00.480 She doesn't just eat it, she applies it on her feet at night. 08:00.560 --> 08:03.800 - Of course. It gives such good sleep! - For good sleep. 08:03.880 --> 08:05.600 Imagine how romantic it is 08:05.680 --> 08:07.960 that our bedroom is smelling like a dhaba. 08:10.680 --> 08:13.200 She picks up the intercom and says, "Bhaisahab, please bring the ghee." 08:13.280 --> 08:17.840 Warm it up a bit and massage into your feet 08:17.920 --> 08:21.760 just before bed and then a warm quilt on top of it. It's too good! 08:21.840 --> 08:25.920 I remember, when Archana ji used to get ghee and massage it on her feet 08:26.000 --> 08:27.960 and for lunch, she'd rub the paratha… 08:31.200 --> 08:32.680 Sir, sorry for my bad joke. 08:32.760 --> 08:34.000 No, it's good! 08:39.039 --> 08:41.240 Kareena, the Kapoor family you came from, 08:41.320 --> 08:43.799 no one ever thought of dieting there 08:43.880 --> 08:45.559 - even in their wildest dreams. - No. 08:45.640 --> 08:49.320 Kareena inspired a word that was introduced in India for the first time. 08:49.400 --> 08:50.800 Zero figure. 08:50.880 --> 08:53.280 Kareena, how did you think of doing it? 08:53.360 --> 08:55.160 Kapil looks zero figure now. 08:56.560 --> 08:57.880 No, it's not zero. 08:57.960 --> 09:00.840 - You look great. - Yes, he's lost a lot of weight. 09:00.920 --> 09:02.920 How? Did you get an injection or something? 09:03.000 --> 09:05.560 - Sir, people tell me… - People are doing it. 09:05.640 --> 09:06.600 Yes, many big personalities. 09:06.680 --> 09:08.440 - Yes. - People tell me too. 09:08.520 --> 09:09.560 You're a big personality. 09:09.640 --> 09:10.680 No, no… 09:14.440 --> 09:19.080 We can't figure out if Saif sir is serious or sarcastic. 09:20.240 --> 09:23.120 I watched it somewhere, he was coming with Kareena 09:23.200 --> 09:24.440 and paparazzi were there. 09:24.520 --> 09:25.600 He says, "Wow." 09:25.680 --> 09:26.680 "Come into my bedroom." 09:28.120 --> 09:29.560 Someone came too. 09:32.640 --> 09:34.000 Oh, my God! 09:36.200 --> 09:37.600 You can laugh now. 09:38.560 --> 09:40.160 It wasn't funny back then. 09:41.120 --> 09:44.400 Putting on weight is very easy, keep eating parathas, 09:44.480 --> 09:45.920 but losing it is the most difficult thing. 09:46.000 --> 09:47.320 Absolutely! 09:49.120 --> 09:51.400 Actors don't eat bottle gourd for nothing. 09:54.600 --> 09:57.160 Bottle gourd is actually your favorite curry too. 09:57.240 --> 09:58.560 Seriously? 09:58.640 --> 10:02.920 - Yes, but I don't like saying it. - In the whole Pataudi family, 10:03.000 --> 10:06.640 there's Amma, Soha, Saba, Saifu… 10:06.720 --> 10:09.040 - There's Sara too… - The Pataudi family, I think, 10:09.120 --> 10:12.200 - everyone from Kolkata… - …crazy about bottle gourd curry. 10:12.280 --> 10:14.480 I think, it's the most delicious curry. 10:14.560 --> 10:16.720 But it's sounds boring, I don't know. 10:16.800 --> 10:19.160 - We're paya lovers. - Bottle gourd… Yeah. 10:22.560 --> 10:24.560 I know you love your pizzas, Bebo. 10:24.640 --> 10:28.840 Yeah, I love my pizzas and I love all of that but they are very healthy. 10:28.920 --> 10:31.040 Kapoors and Pataudis are on the opposite ends. 10:31.120 --> 10:34.080 They are too healthy. And we are too unhealthy. 10:35.840 --> 10:39.880 But I have observed, your friend circle matters a lot. 10:39.960 --> 10:44.880 Kareena's friends circle has Amrita Arora, Karisma, Malaika Arora… 10:44.960 --> 10:45.960 Malaika! 10:47.480 --> 10:48.760 Why are you looking at me? 10:48.840 --> 10:50.720 She is her friend, I meant. 10:50.800 --> 10:52.600 - Guilty conscious, you know? - Yeah. 10:52.680 --> 10:54.840 I was talking to her, she's her friend. 10:54.920 --> 10:56.760 All your friends are fit. 10:56.840 --> 10:58.320 Why is Sidhu ji excited? 10:58.400 --> 11:01.320 Actually, your friend is friends with him as well. 11:02.680 --> 11:04.560 He lost 38 kilos immediately. 11:05.240 --> 11:07.880 Add 7 more to it and you'll have Malaika's weight, 45 kilos. 11:09.200 --> 11:10.800 You have lost three-quarters of Malaika. 11:14.000 --> 11:16.640 Saif sir, we know about Kareena's friends circle, 11:16.720 --> 11:18.680 like there's Malaika, Amrita, Karisma, etc. 11:18.760 --> 11:21.200 But we've never seen your friends. 11:21.280 --> 11:23.400 My friends are not famous. 11:23.480 --> 11:26.760 They are my school friends. So, no one knows them. 11:26.840 --> 11:28.960 I make do with her friends. 11:33.280 --> 11:35.320 Eyes on one, aim on another. 11:35.400 --> 11:37.200 - Wow! - It's not bad. 11:37.280 --> 11:38.280 "Not bad," huh? 11:38.800 --> 11:40.680 But, Saif sir, congratulations! 11:40.760 --> 11:42.840 - On your debut on social media. - Okay. 11:44.520 --> 11:48.440 He wasn't on social media for all these years and now when he did, 11:48.520 --> 11:51.080 he's following only one person on Instagram. 11:51.160 --> 11:53.400 She is here right now, only Kareena. 11:53.480 --> 11:56.560 You know, honestly I didn't know joining it so simple. 11:56.640 --> 11:58.600 That's why I stayed away for years. 11:58.680 --> 12:01.040 I thought, it would need a passport or a Aadhar card. 12:03.040 --> 12:05.280 Saif sir, social media has a lot of benefits. 12:05.360 --> 12:06.840 If you have millions of followers, 12:06.920 --> 12:08.800 you can contest an election. 12:08.880 --> 12:11.680 If you have billions of followers, you can form a party. 12:12.560 --> 12:13.560 Social media is strong. 12:15.640 --> 12:17.400 You have a good connection with social media. 12:17.480 --> 12:20.320 - I did. - Then what happened? 12:20.400 --> 12:22.200 You weren't on social media then. 12:22.280 --> 12:24.400 - He used to tweet at 1:00 a.m. - It's nothing. 12:28.440 --> 12:31.840 Actually, I have an account manager. 12:31.920 --> 12:34.120 She said she won't let me control it. 12:35.120 --> 12:36.360 Because of Kapil ji. 12:37.480 --> 12:38.920 So that I don't mess up anything at night. 12:40.800 --> 12:43.720 But, genuinely, if you need any tips, 12:43.800 --> 12:44.960 you can ask Archana ji. 12:45.040 --> 12:46.480 - Yes. - You won't believe, 12:46.560 --> 12:48.360 but she connects everything to it. 12:48.440 --> 12:50.360 She uploads what she eats… 12:50.440 --> 12:54.640 She made reels with her husband and could buy two more bungalows. 12:56.000 --> 12:58.720 But his name is missing from the registration deed. 13:02.840 --> 13:05.400 Since you have come, I welcome you. 13:05.480 --> 13:08.360 I want to show you a sample of what happens on social media. 13:08.440 --> 13:09.800 Please have a look. 13:12.280 --> 13:15.240 COMMENT COMEDY! 13:17.680 --> 13:21.240 This is Saif sir's debut photo. "Pataudi library." 13:21.320 --> 13:23.320 "Judging books by their cover." 13:23.400 --> 13:25.480 Do you get so well-dressed even at home? 13:26.600 --> 13:28.480 Yes, yes, everywhere. 13:28.560 --> 13:30.760 Because I even stopped watching TV. 13:30.840 --> 13:31.680 Sorry! 13:38.040 --> 13:39.440 Let's check the comments. 13:39.520 --> 13:42.280 "He is a new creator, guys. Let's support him." 13:44.360 --> 13:45.200 More comments. 13:45.280 --> 13:49.640 "He's celebrating two years of free ghee by entering Instagram." 13:52.280 --> 13:53.560 - I… - People commenting. 13:53.640 --> 13:56.920 But I want to clear one thing, I haven't got the ghee yet. 14:03.320 --> 14:04.600 Even my cheque's not come. 14:06.360 --> 14:08.040 - Saif! - More comments. 14:09.720 --> 14:13.520 - "Sir, reading a book…" - The blurred ones, are people abusing? 14:14.920 --> 14:16.840 No, no, those are not in public taste. 14:16.920 --> 14:19.480 Because I know what happens on Instagram. 14:19.560 --> 14:20.920 I had a secret account for years. 14:21.000 --> 14:21.960 I see! 14:24.240 --> 14:25.760 Which heroine were you stalking? 14:28.880 --> 14:32.080 - The one standing next to you. - Yes, of course. That's the one. 14:33.480 --> 14:36.040 "Sir, reading a book won't get you followers." 14:36.120 --> 14:38.280 "If you want more followers, 14:38.360 --> 14:40.440 upload a shirtless picture." 14:40.520 --> 14:41.440 Look. 14:42.320 --> 14:44.360 A shirtless picture at this age, 14:44.440 --> 14:46.640 I'll lose the few followers I have. 14:49.840 --> 14:50.920 More comments. 14:51.000 --> 14:52.560 Shirtless, it seems. 14:52.640 --> 14:57.600 I remember, Saif, when we went on the Madhuri Dixit Live in Concert tour… 14:57.680 --> 15:00.640 Saif would, on stage, take his shirt off and do that. 15:00.720 --> 15:04.000 Girls used to shout like I am one of the Beatles. 15:04.080 --> 15:06.080 And it was a really great show! 15:06.160 --> 15:09.680 - Then Madhuri ji and her sister… - Sister, yes! 15:09.760 --> 15:12.400 They called me backstage and said, "We want to talk to you very seriously." 15:12.480 --> 15:16.080 "This is a family show, do not take off your shirt again." 15:17.440 --> 15:20.800 So, again I used to take it off. They used to say, "Saif!" 15:21.640 --> 15:23.160 Salman and… 15:23.240 --> 15:25.200 When he took off his shirt, people used to go 15:25.280 --> 15:26.320 - Nuts! - Absolutely mad. 15:26.400 --> 15:29.120 - They still do. - Then everyone started to workout 15:29.200 --> 15:30.680 thinking they'd do the same. 15:30.760 --> 15:31.600 Good days! 15:33.000 --> 15:34.480 Let's do what we are here for, read comments. 15:34.560 --> 15:36.320 Kareena's post! 15:36.400 --> 15:39.000 "Self-love, happy Women's Day, and hello IIFA!" 15:39.080 --> 15:40.400 You were going to IIFA. 15:40.480 --> 15:42.240 Very nice. Beautiful picture. 15:42.320 --> 15:43.520 Let's read the comments. 15:43.600 --> 15:45.080 "You are doing a noble work." 15:45.160 --> 15:48.080 "People have stopped reading newspapers in the digital times." 15:48.160 --> 15:50.880 "After this photo, people started reading newspaper again." 15:52.320 --> 15:53.320 More comments. 15:54.360 --> 15:57.360 "Saif reads this newspaper with morning tea." 16:02.560 --> 16:03.440 More comments. 16:03.520 --> 16:05.440 "Can I get your designer's number?" 16:05.520 --> 16:07.280 "I have some old newspapers too." 16:08.200 --> 16:10.120 "I want a salwar suit stitched for my wife." 16:11.400 --> 16:13.160 - More comments. - They are impossible! 16:14.960 --> 16:17.560 Kareena's post. Three Kareenas together. 16:17.640 --> 16:19.320 - Wow. - Show the comments. 16:19.400 --> 16:21.720 "Poo has become self-dependent now." 16:21.800 --> 16:23.480 "She doesn't wait for anyone to turn around." 16:24.840 --> 16:26.360 "She turns around herself." 16:28.840 --> 16:30.560 Loved it! 16:30.640 --> 16:31.720 Lovely comment. 16:31.800 --> 16:32.920 More comments. 16:33.000 --> 16:34.160 This doesn't come on my… 16:34.840 --> 16:37.440 You will get it now. Because you are following me now. 16:37.520 --> 16:40.080 "Are you really three or am I too drunk?" 16:41.400 --> 16:43.360 This should be my dialogue. 16:46.120 --> 16:47.520 More comments. 16:49.680 --> 16:50.520 Kareena's post. 16:50.600 --> 16:53.440 "Sorry, was too busy enjoying my day." 16:53.520 --> 16:54.640 Scroll down. 16:54.720 --> 16:57.520 "Your photo reminded me of my dad." 16:57.600 --> 16:59.880 "He used to say, 'Kids are like musical instruments.'" 16:59.960 --> 17:02.440 "They need regular tuning by twisting their ears." 17:03.040 --> 17:05.120 So sweet! I like that. 17:05.200 --> 17:07.160 - It's true, sir? - No, but the tuning. 17:08.000 --> 17:10.560 - Twisting ears. - Did your dad twist your ears? 17:10.640 --> 17:14.079 I wish he only did that. 17:14.960 --> 17:17.480 He has hit me with a belt. Yes. 17:17.560 --> 17:18.760 I was quite naughty though. 17:18.839 --> 17:20.720 Do you hit your children? 17:20.800 --> 17:21.880 - No. - No. 17:21.960 --> 17:23.640 - Why so? - They learn in their school, 17:23.720 --> 17:25.119 and they say, 17:25.839 --> 17:27.599 they will complain. 17:28.440 --> 17:30.400 My body, my this! 17:30.480 --> 17:32.560 - You can't touch me. - My life, my rules. 17:34.000 --> 17:36.240 Has your mom ever hit you? She's over there. 17:36.320 --> 17:37.840 Mom did hit me once. 17:37.920 --> 17:40.320 On Lohri, there was a ₹5 note lying there. 17:41.240 --> 17:43.800 There was a bonfire and I thought it was a piece of paper. 17:43.880 --> 17:45.920 - So, I threw it in fire. - No! 17:46.000 --> 17:48.240 I wasted ₹5 but mom hit me worth ₹250. 17:51.280 --> 17:54.080 I am talking about '88, '89. 17:54.160 --> 17:55.600 Maybe ₹5 were a lot back then. 17:56.640 --> 17:58.680 Then I earned a lot of money for Mom. 18:00.440 --> 18:02.840 By the way, my mom is a big fan of yours. 18:02.920 --> 18:05.120 Mom sees very few movies in the theatre. 18:05.200 --> 18:06.600 - Where's your mom? - She's here. 18:07.840 --> 18:10.680 She was discharged from the hospital three days ago. She was ill. 18:10.760 --> 18:13.000 She came to the show only for you. 18:13.080 --> 18:14.640 Very sweet! Thank you so much! 18:15.520 --> 18:17.440 Mom, touch and see. It's Kareena Kapoor. 18:19.080 --> 18:20.640 Don't wash your hand today. 18:21.440 --> 18:22.320 She's very sweet! 18:23.400 --> 18:24.760 Shall we sit? 18:24.840 --> 18:26.320 - Please. - My feet hurt. 18:26.400 --> 18:27.520 Oh, sorry. Please sit. 18:27.600 --> 18:30.280 - Is this hospitality? - We've been standing for half an hour. 18:30.360 --> 18:32.960 I was enjoying it so much… I forgot… 18:33.040 --> 18:35.360 Sorry, we have sofas. Please sit. 18:41.120 --> 18:42.720 More comments. 18:42.800 --> 18:44.960 I don't know what this means. What's "couture"? 18:45.040 --> 18:47.560 - Couture! - Couture? 18:47.640 --> 18:49.280 - Kareena! - The clothes you haven't worn. 18:50.200 --> 18:52.280 I genuinely want to know. 18:52.360 --> 18:53.480 Designer… 18:53.560 --> 18:54.960 - High fashion. - High fashion. 18:55.040 --> 18:56.360 I see! 18:56.440 --> 18:57.400 There are so many things 18:57.480 --> 18:59.000 - we have learnt from Kareena. - Like your shoes. 18:59.080 --> 19:00.560 - Oh, thanks. This is? - Like that! 19:00.640 --> 19:02.320 This is couture. 19:02.400 --> 19:04.160 Oh, who brought my couture for me? 19:05.920 --> 19:06.880 Show the comments. 19:08.360 --> 19:11.320 "I was also pestering my dad for shoes." 19:11.400 --> 19:14.440 "He said, 'People will give it to you if you have talent.'" 19:16.320 --> 19:18.680 "Follow me for such funny jokes." 19:20.200 --> 19:23.560 He is assuming that it was a joke, wow! More comments. 19:23.640 --> 19:27.400 "Maybe, her kajal was expiring. So, she applied it all." 19:28.600 --> 19:29.840 I love applying kajal. 19:29.920 --> 19:32.880 - I have put it on today also. - It looks good too. 19:32.960 --> 19:35.960 When we were dating, 19:36.040 --> 19:39.000 I would ask her if she hadn't applied a little too much. 19:39.080 --> 19:41.000 She said that she doesn't know how to apply makeup. 19:41.080 --> 19:43.640 She looked so beautiful. 19:43.720 --> 19:45.560 She said someone else applied the makeup. 19:45.640 --> 19:47.200 - Oh, gosh! - Applying it herself, 19:47.280 --> 19:49.760 - she learnt it later. - I've learnt over the years. 19:49.840 --> 19:53.120 - That's also an art. - Yeah, of course! Learning to… 19:53.200 --> 19:56.120 But you are among the very few ones who look great without makeup. 19:56.200 --> 19:57.840 - This is true! - True. 19:57.920 --> 20:00.520 - Kapil said that, not you. - I also said it. 20:01.720 --> 20:04.040 - If… - You are making us fight. 20:06.000 --> 20:07.240 Nice, Kapil! But why? 20:07.320 --> 20:10.400 It's scary to comment on a woman in front of her husband. 20:10.480 --> 20:13.360 You don't get scared. Since when did you start getting scared? 20:14.440 --> 20:15.320 Absolutely. 20:16.280 --> 20:17.120 It's okay. 20:17.200 --> 20:21.000 Kareena and Saif sir have come separately on our show. Today, they've come together. 20:21.080 --> 20:23.560 So, I cancelled a lot of questions myself. 20:23.640 --> 20:24.760 No, not to ask these. 20:25.600 --> 20:26.920 More comments. 20:27.880 --> 20:28.840 Over? 20:29.960 --> 20:30.800 Thank you! 20:34.200 --> 20:37.320 Nowadays, people also roast each other on social media. 20:37.920 --> 20:41.440 We don't know how to roast you both, you are so lovely. 20:41.520 --> 20:43.240 But you are a couple, 20:43.320 --> 20:45.920 so no one can know better than each other. 20:46.000 --> 20:48.000 Kareena, if you want to roast Saif sir, 20:48.080 --> 20:50.600 use the show as an excuse and get it all out. 20:52.200 --> 20:55.200 - You start… - He turns people against each other. 20:55.280 --> 20:56.560 …we can see which level we are on. 20:58.320 --> 21:01.360 Why do women take so long to get ready? 21:01.440 --> 21:02.920 No, Saif takes longer. 21:03.000 --> 21:04.400 I'm ready in 10 minutes. 21:04.480 --> 21:07.640 Saif takes at least one hour. 21:07.720 --> 21:08.960 No! It's not true. 21:09.040 --> 21:12.240 - Fine, ask Naina. She's sitting there. - What would Naina know? 21:12.320 --> 21:14.880 How many times have you changed outfits today? 21:14.960 --> 21:16.640 "I don't get ready in front of Naina." 21:16.720 --> 21:18.720 Hey, I change my outfit 21:18.800 --> 21:19.840 - because you say… - Three times. 21:19.920 --> 21:21.640 No, you say, "I'm wearing red." 21:21.720 --> 21:23.200 "No, no! What's my color?" 21:23.280 --> 21:25.960 No! He redid his hair and makeup three times today. 21:26.040 --> 21:27.680 - Changed outfits thrice. - Who takes longer to shower? 21:27.760 --> 21:29.640 She spends half an hour in the shower! 21:29.720 --> 21:33.600 I keep telling her we have a water shortage in Mumbai… in India. 21:33.680 --> 21:37.280 She takes a hot shower for half an hour, and the water runs out. 21:37.360 --> 21:39.000 So what? I want to feel clean. 21:39.080 --> 21:42.080 - There's a limit! You need to hurry up. - For you! 21:43.360 --> 21:48.000 Genuinely, I take 10 minutes, Kapil, and Saif takes at least 45 minutes. 21:48.080 --> 21:51.360 Okay, I do take a little time. I keep thinking, "There's this… that…" 21:51.440 --> 21:53.320 "Should I wear this shirt? What about my hair?" 21:53.400 --> 21:55.480 Actors take forever these days. 21:56.560 --> 21:57.920 To get ready. 21:58.720 --> 22:00.680 Her whole personality changes, you know? 22:01.440 --> 22:03.160 At least three times a day. 22:03.240 --> 22:05.480 One morning, she says, 22:05.560 --> 22:08.080 "You need to have a serious talk with Taimur." 22:08.160 --> 22:10.000 "Because he's not focusing on his studies." 22:10.080 --> 22:11.160 So that evening, I talk to him. 22:11.240 --> 22:13.960 "Listen, Taimur, I have to talk to you. You need to focus more on your studies." 22:14.040 --> 22:16.680 - "This is…" But then she says… - Focuses on sports more. 22:16.760 --> 22:20.400 "No, no. He's fine. He works really hard. Why are you scolding him?" 22:23.680 --> 22:25.360 I'm looking at her like, "Wait, what?" 22:27.280 --> 22:29.440 But she tells you to keep an eye on Taimur's studies. 22:29.520 --> 22:30.800 Were you good at school? 22:30.880 --> 22:34.320 If I were that good at studying, would I be in the film industry? 22:36.000 --> 22:37.000 Hello? 22:39.160 --> 22:40.640 - Sorry, that's a big insult. - What do you mean? 22:40.720 --> 22:41.800 - Yes. - Why? How far did you study? 22:41.880 --> 22:43.160 No, I… 22:44.720 --> 22:46.640 It's not that. But I feel… 22:46.720 --> 22:49.640 - We all… - …times were different. 22:49.720 --> 22:52.440 Back then, a lot of us actors, you know, 22:52.520 --> 22:54.200 we'd finish grade 10 and join the film industry. 22:54.280 --> 22:56.760 You were so young. I think you were 18 or 19 when Refugee came out. 22:56.840 --> 23:00.040 - I was 17. Karisma was only 15. - Actually! 23:00.120 --> 23:02.720 - Things are different now. - It's nice that you don't have to be… 23:02.800 --> 23:04.880 - What? No. - …university graduate to be an actor. 23:04.960 --> 23:06.800 - It's very important. - I feel a sense of belonging. 23:06.880 --> 23:09.000 Sachin Tendulkar only finished 10th grade. 23:09.080 --> 23:10.560 He still outdid the entire world! 23:10.640 --> 23:11.840 - Look at that! - Come on, man! 23:11.920 --> 23:13.320 Fire! 23:15.720 --> 23:17.320 I'm glad my kids aren't seeing this. 23:17.400 --> 23:21.080 Exactly! I was just thinking, thank God Tim's not watching this. 23:21.760 --> 23:24.720 Otherwise, next time he'll say, "I want to be like Sachin Tendulkar!" 23:27.200 --> 23:28.920 Listening to him, I too… 23:29.000 --> 23:31.400 He can be like Sachin Tendulkar, but as a cricketer! 23:31.480 --> 23:34.800 Kareena, if Saif hadn't become an actor, could he have been a cricketer? 23:34.880 --> 23:35.920 I think, amazing! 23:36.000 --> 23:37.760 - What? - Then my career 23:37.840 --> 23:39.400 would've ended 20 years ago. 23:40.720 --> 23:42.360 True! Actually. 23:43.960 --> 23:48.000 I wish my… and I hope and I wish that one of my sons becomes a cricketer. 23:48.080 --> 23:49.520 - That's entirely possible. - Could be! 23:49.600 --> 23:51.560 Did you enjoy fielding, Sidhu sahab? 23:51.640 --> 23:54.320 Well, that's quite a story. 23:54.400 --> 23:56.600 I mean, the way you were fielding for Malaika, I thought… 23:57.640 --> 23:59.440 No, I was just… Look… 24:00.960 --> 24:04.320 Look… How do I explain 24:04.400 --> 24:07.240 whether I'm fielding for Malaika or she's fielding for me? 24:07.440 --> 24:08.600 It's a secret. 24:11.920 --> 24:13.440 Malaika, did you hear that? 24:14.080 --> 24:17.960 My bond with Malaika madam is spiritual. Purely spiritual. 24:18.080 --> 24:20.440 Oh, God! Spiritual. 24:20.520 --> 24:22.120 - I see! - Do you understand? 24:22.200 --> 24:24.200 But, Bebo, you are a very good friend of Malaika. 24:24.280 --> 24:26.480 - So, you can ask her. - I will be asking her! 24:26.560 --> 24:28.480 "What is this? What's happening, dude?" 24:28.560 --> 24:30.920 What did she say? She's your friend. Surely she's told you. 24:31.760 --> 24:34.560 - No, she hasn't… - She never mentioned it! 24:34.640 --> 24:36.040 - She hasn't mentioned it. - Oh, my! 24:37.200 --> 24:39.400 Sir, you don't go around mentioning things like that! 24:41.480 --> 24:44.080 The moment I asked Kareena whether Malaika had told you, 24:44.160 --> 24:45.520 did you see Sidhu sir's expression? 24:47.720 --> 24:49.440 He thought she might spill something! 24:49.520 --> 24:50.760 Nice, kid. 24:51.720 --> 24:56.200 Saif sir, what are two things you still have to call Kareena out on? 24:56.280 --> 24:57.560 Call out on? 24:58.160 --> 25:00.720 - As if I'd have the guts. - Take Saif, for example. 25:00.800 --> 25:01.680 Saif sir is so handsome. 25:01.760 --> 25:04.680 - Yes. - He's smart and a successful actor. 25:04.760 --> 25:06.320 And yet, wives say the most unexpected things. 25:06.400 --> 25:08.080 "Oh, he snores so loudly!" Right? 25:09.000 --> 25:11.720 Oh, I forgot to ask. Does he snore? 25:12.320 --> 25:14.080 Yes, definitely. Sometimes. 25:14.160 --> 25:15.160 And what do you do? 25:18.840 --> 25:21.000 And then, I am always like… 25:21.080 --> 25:22.960 - "Saif!" - No, I think it's more like this. 25:23.040 --> 25:24.240 She kicks you? 25:24.320 --> 25:28.200 - But you actually snore quite cutely too. - "Saifu! Saifu!" 25:28.280 --> 25:30.360 - Oh, really? - I even recorded you once. 25:30.440 --> 25:31.920 - What? - And I thought… 25:32.000 --> 25:35.200 I couldn't believe this was actually Kareena Kapoor! 25:39.960 --> 25:42.240 Sometimes your nose gets blocked. What can you do? 25:42.320 --> 25:43.840 - Yeah! - Right. 25:43.920 --> 25:45.720 Okay, now tell us two things about her. 25:45.800 --> 25:47.960 I've already mentioned the water running out. 25:49.440 --> 25:51.360 He takes forever! 25:51.440 --> 25:54.480 You took your sweet time too when he proposed to you! 25:55.480 --> 26:00.520 Yeah. Actually, he proposed in Mumbai, in Greece, and in Paris. 26:00.600 --> 26:02.000 Only then did I finally say yes! 26:05.880 --> 26:08.440 If you'd said yes in Mumbai, I would've saved a fortune! 26:10.320 --> 26:13.160 Who's worse when it comes to spending money? 26:13.240 --> 26:14.440 Who's the bigger spender? 26:16.480 --> 26:18.040 - Yeah? - Saif! 26:18.600 --> 26:19.760 Saif! 26:19.840 --> 26:21.800 Not at all. No. 26:21.880 --> 26:25.400 Come on! Please. The way you confess it after you've done it! 26:25.480 --> 26:26.640 "Oh, no, I've done it again!" 26:27.360 --> 26:29.160 And then comes the regret. 26:29.240 --> 26:30.920 - "Why did I do that?" - "Why did I do that?" 26:31.000 --> 26:32.360 - It's like a sickness. - You buy them first. 26:32.440 --> 26:36.360 You buy them, and then you can't stop. It's just bag after bag after bag! 26:36.440 --> 26:39.000 Half the time, there's nothing inside. They're just holding them for no reason. 26:39.680 --> 26:42.480 So I checked, "Ginni, what's in here?" There was just one lip gloss. 26:44.560 --> 26:47.040 Which of you loses your temper more easily? 26:47.720 --> 26:51.680 I get angry quickly, but I get over it just as quickly. 26:51.760 --> 26:55.280 - Yeah, but Saif's anger is very lovable. - When she loses it, everyone gets scared! 26:57.800 --> 26:59.960 Who goes to the parent-teacher meetings? 27:00.040 --> 27:02.120 I've got four kids at the school. 27:04.360 --> 27:05.600 All different ages. 27:05.680 --> 27:08.520 I was 20 when I attended my first PTA meeting. 27:08.600 --> 27:10.000 Then 30… 27:10.640 --> 27:13.800 Then at 55, I'm in the same school. 27:15.000 --> 27:17.040 The teachers there have changed… 27:18.400 --> 27:19.760 but I'm still around! 27:19.840 --> 27:21.400 And Jeh is yet to go! 27:21.480 --> 27:23.280 Nita ji called me 27:23.360 --> 27:25.320 her longest-standing student on stage! 27:26.200 --> 27:28.280 - He was actually a student! - Student! 27:30.840 --> 27:33.800 That's a blessing, sir. God's grace. You've had a child in every decade! 27:34.680 --> 27:36.600 That's definitely not normal! 27:37.360 --> 27:38.680 - Saifu! - Yes? 27:38.760 --> 27:41.120 You've had a child in each decade! What's next, then? 27:42.680 --> 27:43.800 Huh? 27:43.880 --> 27:46.040 We're about to enter another decade soon. 27:46.120 --> 27:48.160 We are. But not with me. 27:51.480 --> 27:54.160 No, not with me. I am not gonna have another baby. 27:54.240 --> 27:56.120 I can't also. I am saying… 27:57.280 --> 28:00.320 The kids want you to play with them, 28:00.400 --> 28:02.000 do somersaults, play football, and all that. 28:03.120 --> 28:05.400 Back when Sara was at school, 28:05.480 --> 28:07.240 I was the youngest dad there. 28:07.800 --> 28:09.920 - They'd have father-son races! - Now… 28:10.000 --> 28:11.520 - Yeah, your were 20. - I would beat them all! 28:11.600 --> 28:14.280 Now they're thinking it'll become grandfathers' race! 28:18.160 --> 28:21.440 I have to say, on sports day, 28:21.520 --> 28:23.160 Saif was in Tim's race… 28:23.240 --> 28:26.000 All the other dads were between 30 and 35. 28:26.080 --> 28:29.160 I am kidding you not. I am genuinely telling you. 28:29.240 --> 28:32.960 He was the fastest and the fittest father. 28:33.040 --> 28:36.040 - Wow! - At 55! 28:36.120 --> 28:38.600 - I'm a fast runner. - Yeah. 28:39.800 --> 28:42.640 But listen, you were saying Saif loses his temper quickly, 28:42.720 --> 28:44.400 and you're the calmer one. 28:44.480 --> 28:45.760 But if someone gets angry, 28:45.840 --> 28:48.160 who says sorry first if there is some kind of a tiff? 28:48.760 --> 28:50.880 Once she said sorry. 28:50.960 --> 28:52.480 - Once? - Once. 28:52.560 --> 28:54.000 - Bebo, well done. - Yeah, just recently. 28:54.080 --> 28:56.640 You know, after the Taimur thing… When you said, "Speak to him." 28:56.720 --> 28:59.240 - You said sorry. - But generally because it's not my fault. 29:03.440 --> 29:04.360 Listen, it's something else! 29:04.440 --> 29:05.760 After Dharam paaji… 29:05.840 --> 29:07.800 I'm saying it straight from the heart. 29:07.880 --> 29:10.760 After Dharam paaji, if there's anyone in this industry 29:10.840 --> 29:13.880 who looks like a handsome Hulk Hogan, it's you, sir. 29:14.640 --> 29:16.160 - It's you! - Me? 29:16.800 --> 29:17.840 Saifu… 29:18.040 --> 29:19.520 I thought you were gonna say… 29:20.240 --> 29:21.480 You, you, you! 29:21.560 --> 29:23.520 There are plenty of handsome men out there! 29:23.600 --> 29:25.640 - No, sir. - Sir, honestly, 29:25.720 --> 29:28.120 I can't believe I've made it this far. 29:28.200 --> 29:30.040 My parents used to wonder, "What's going to become of him?" 29:30.120 --> 29:31.800 Even I wondered what I'd do with my life. 29:31.880 --> 29:33.520 I don't think I… this… 29:33.600 --> 29:36.640 Whatever I have today, whatever I've achieved, 29:36.720 --> 29:38.200 it's all because of you. 29:39.440 --> 29:41.040 It's still hard to believe! 29:41.440 --> 29:43.240 Dharam ji was mind blowing. 29:43.320 --> 29:44.320 I'll tell you something. 29:44.400 --> 29:47.720 My mother was unwell recently and had surgery. 29:47.800 --> 29:49.360 It was her birthday, and she was in the hospital. 29:49.440 --> 29:51.600 To cheer her up, one of her friends 29:51.680 --> 29:54.960 showed her one of Dharam ji's film, I think, Chupke Chupke. 29:55.640 --> 29:57.120 So she called Dharam ji. 29:57.200 --> 30:00.360 "Dharam, I am watching your film. You are so handsome." 30:00.440 --> 30:02.000 Unbelievable! 30:02.080 --> 30:03.280 And Dharam ji goes, 30:03.360 --> 30:04.880 "It's because I am looking at you." 30:07.440 --> 30:09.400 - Wow! That's amazing! - He was a charmer. 30:09.480 --> 30:11.480 - He was a pure soul. - Yeah. 30:11.560 --> 30:12.760 My mother always used to say, 30:12.840 --> 30:15.400 - he's the most handsome person, ever. - No doubt about it. 30:15.480 --> 30:17.760 I'll you something, sir. I don't know if I've told you this, 30:17.840 --> 30:19.440 but I've only ever bought two posters in my life. 30:20.080 --> 30:22.480 During Diwali, in Amritsar, 30:22.560 --> 30:25.680 you know those firecracker stalls set up on cots? 30:25.760 --> 30:27.960 They sell posters too. Mom, do you remember? 30:28.040 --> 30:30.480 Our house in B Block had peeling paint everywhere. 30:30.560 --> 30:33.480 I thought repainting the walls would cost a fortune. 30:33.560 --> 30:36.280 So I bought two posters instead. One of Divya Bharti and one of you. 30:36.360 --> 30:40.280 So we put them up there. You were clean-shaven and had long hair. 30:40.360 --> 30:42.320 This was around the time Pehchaan came out. 30:42.400 --> 30:44.160 - You remember your movie? - Of course, I remember. 30:44.240 --> 30:46.520 Then "Ole Ole" came out, and you kept us busy for six whole months! 30:47.160 --> 30:49.760 We spent six months trying to figure out the moves. 31:19.360 --> 31:20.360 He's fallen hard! 31:28.160 --> 31:29.200 Altaf! 31:30.360 --> 31:33.440 This is the comedy show I told you I'd bring you to! 31:34.480 --> 31:37.760 If you find anything funny, laugh. 31:37.840 --> 31:39.560 Just don't laugh too loudly. 31:40.560 --> 31:42.360 See that lady? 31:46.240 --> 31:50.640 If that lady gets jealous, you're finished! Yeah! 31:51.560 --> 31:52.880 What, the poetry? 31:52.960 --> 31:54.600 Don't worry about that. 31:55.400 --> 31:57.000 Sidhu ji will take care of that. 32:02.480 --> 32:03.480 What? 32:11.600 --> 32:14.520 Who have I not turned around for? 32:17.800 --> 32:19.080 Seriously? It's Poo? 32:20.840 --> 32:23.800 Mashallah, how wonderful! 32:23.880 --> 32:25.880 Hello, hello! 32:25.960 --> 32:28.240 Look at you! Absolutely gorgeous! 32:28.320 --> 32:31.960 Should I call you Poo, call you beautiful, call you glamorous? 32:32.040 --> 32:33.920 What exactly should I call you? My God! 32:34.040 --> 32:36.640 Just call her madam. Can't you see her husband's right there? 32:36.720 --> 32:38.680 Oh, no. Mashallah, how wonderful! 32:38.760 --> 32:41.280 A huge round of applause for the most handsome hero! 32:42.880 --> 32:43.880 Mashallah! 32:45.920 --> 32:50.480 We had Shakira and Jennifer Lopez over in Dubai recently. 32:51.120 --> 32:52.600 They kept talking about him. 32:52.680 --> 32:56.000 - What were they saying? - They kept saying, "Dubai's safe!" 32:59.360 --> 33:02.160 I'm telling you the truth, from the heart. I'm a huge fan of yours! 33:02.240 --> 33:04.200 You were incredible in Omkara! 33:04.920 --> 33:06.400 Dil Chahta Hai… 33:06.800 --> 33:09.560 I'm genuinely such a huge fan of yours. 33:09.640 --> 33:11.160 Your film Haiwaan came out recently. 33:18.000 --> 33:20.360 And I've already watched it four times! That's how big a fan I am! 33:22.280 --> 33:24.760 - I really liked something in that film. - What? 33:24.840 --> 33:26.120 Interval. 33:31.800 --> 33:33.400 One minute, one minute. 33:33.480 --> 33:35.760 - Oh, no! - I'll show you, wait. 33:35.840 --> 33:37.000 What's this? Bangles? 33:38.720 --> 33:40.680 - What's this? - How does it look? 33:42.800 --> 33:43.800 Why are you showing it to them? 33:43.880 --> 33:48.360 Someone said I'd be meeting Kareena and Saif. 33:48.440 --> 33:51.320 It wouldn't look good to go empty-handed, so I… 33:52.120 --> 33:53.200 How do you like it? 33:54.960 --> 33:57.760 - Is it nice? Oh, my God! - It's very nice! 33:58.360 --> 34:00.280 Still wearing the bangles from the last episode? 34:00.360 --> 34:02.480 I've kept them on for this episode! 34:05.360 --> 34:07.760 Kareena ji, I've brought something for you. 34:07.840 --> 34:10.520 - It's a gift for you! - What's this? 34:10.600 --> 34:12.760 I watched Jab We Met, 34:12.840 --> 34:14.080 where you said, 34:14.159 --> 34:17.120 "Don't give me a lecture. I don't have any loose change!" 34:18.280 --> 34:21.199 - So, that's why. - I don't have any loose change! 34:23.840 --> 34:25.560 No, let me tell you the reason. 34:26.199 --> 34:27.880 Here, every 15 minutes, 34:27.960 --> 34:30.440 Sidhu ji gives us a lecture, so… 34:31.800 --> 34:34.280 I thought you might run out of change! 34:36.320 --> 34:37.320 What happened? 34:39.760 --> 34:42.040 My camel's licking me! What are you doing over here? 34:44.239 --> 34:45.440 I love it! 34:46.000 --> 34:47.679 - What are you doing? - I love it! 34:47.760 --> 34:49.159 It came all the way over here. 34:49.239 --> 34:52.400 I'm in the middle of a conversation! Stop bothering me! 34:52.480 --> 34:55.320 Saif sir, hold this for a second. Hold this. 34:55.400 --> 34:57.080 What's your problem? I'm talking to the guests. 34:58.360 --> 34:59.440 Hey, why are you crying? 35:00.120 --> 35:02.280 What? You're holding his tail! 35:03.240 --> 35:04.360 Go over there! 35:05.200 --> 35:06.200 Go sit over there! 35:10.360 --> 35:13.200 - What brings you here? - Well, you see, 35:13.280 --> 35:15.040 a huge building's been built in Dubai. 35:15.120 --> 35:16.640 - Shahrukhz Building. - I see. 35:16.720 --> 35:18.960 So, I want to build a building for the two of you. 35:19.040 --> 35:19.960 - Is that so? - Yeah. 35:20.040 --> 35:21.440 We'll call it 35:21.520 --> 35:22.760 the Poo Khalifa! 35:22.840 --> 35:25.280 - Poo Khalifa! - Poo Khalifa? 35:25.360 --> 35:28.200 Poo Khalifa. People won't be able to take their eyes off it! 35:28.280 --> 35:32.800 It'll be a high-tech building, with windows imported from Czechoslovakia! 35:32.880 --> 35:34.440 - What's the big deal? - These windows are special. 35:34.520 --> 35:36.120 No sound from inside gets out! 35:37.560 --> 35:39.440 You can fight as much as you like. 35:40.200 --> 35:42.960 Nobody outside will hear a thing. 35:43.040 --> 35:45.920 Why would they fight? They're so much in love. 35:46.000 --> 35:47.800 Even the sounds of love won't get out. 35:52.760 --> 35:54.960 We're offering amazing amenities. 35:55.040 --> 35:58.480 You have a swimming pool and gymnasium. 35:58.560 --> 36:01.000 Kareena ji, the gym will be something else! 36:01.080 --> 36:03.600 Saif sir, you'll work out for two days, 36:03.680 --> 36:05.000 walk outside, and everyone will say, 36:05.080 --> 36:07.200 "Look at that body!" 36:07.280 --> 36:08.400 What machine can do that? 36:08.480 --> 36:10.360 No machine! We've hired people to say it! 36:10.440 --> 36:14.520 "Look at that body!" 36:17.040 --> 36:18.920 I think they're big shots! 36:19.000 --> 36:20.320 Sir, shall I show you the building model? 36:20.400 --> 36:21.640 - Yes, yes, please! - Yes. 36:24.880 --> 36:25.920 What did you say? 36:38.960 --> 36:40.680 I thought you meant a model of the building! 36:40.760 --> 36:43.320 Such a big-name model is here! She is the model. 36:45.440 --> 36:47.160 This model lives in the building. 36:50.280 --> 36:51.480 Mashallah! Go on. 36:51.560 --> 36:52.920 Show them your walk! 36:53.800 --> 36:54.720 Wow. 36:56.760 --> 36:57.720 Wow, nice! 36:58.240 --> 37:00.280 See those two stairs? 37:00.360 --> 37:01.920 Walk down those. That's the end of the joke! 37:06.600 --> 37:09.040 Sir, this is no ordinary building. 37:09.120 --> 37:10.840 It's a 1,000-floor building. 37:10.920 --> 37:12.280 And there's no elevator. 37:13.320 --> 37:15.120 How do we go up? 37:15.200 --> 37:17.840 It's a horizontal building. It lies flat on the ground. 37:17.960 --> 37:18.920 Oh, God! 37:21.320 --> 37:22.600 He's laughing himself. 37:23.240 --> 37:24.360 People… 37:25.600 --> 37:27.440 build buildings vertically. 37:27.520 --> 37:28.560 I build them horizontally. 37:30.360 --> 37:33.200 Sir, if you promote our building, it'll really help us out. 37:34.440 --> 37:35.720 If you say this for us… Look. 37:36.600 --> 37:38.000 All you have to do is say this, Kareena ji. 37:38.080 --> 37:40.000 "Bangles sing, bracelets sway, 37:40.560 --> 37:42.520 A courtyard comes with your hall today!" 37:45.120 --> 37:46.320 If you say that, 37:46.920 --> 37:48.720 we'll sell every single unit! 37:50.160 --> 37:55.000 Bangles sing, bracelets sway, A courtyard comes with your hall today! 37:55.080 --> 37:57.840 Sold out! We've sold every single apartment! 37:59.560 --> 38:00.960 Now you have to say, 38:01.520 --> 38:03.120 "Husband caught red-handed in the chat." 38:03.200 --> 38:05.160 Husband caught… 38:05.240 --> 38:06.600 - In chat. - In church? 38:06.680 --> 38:07.680 Chat. 38:07.760 --> 38:09.520 - Chat. - Okay! Husband… 38:09.600 --> 38:12.600 Husband caught red-handed in the chat. Do drop by our flat sometime! 38:12.680 --> 38:13.800 Please say this. 38:14.920 --> 38:18.640 Husband caught red-handed in the chat. Do drop by 38:18.720 --> 38:19.960 - Our flat sometime! - …our flat sometime! 38:20.040 --> 38:20.880 Sold out! 38:21.440 --> 38:22.320 Brilliant! 38:24.520 --> 38:26.960 Where exactly is your building? 38:27.040 --> 38:28.960 Wherever they tell me to, I'll build it. 38:29.680 --> 38:31.440 They're the brand ambassadors. 38:31.520 --> 38:33.200 And you're the financier too. 38:35.520 --> 38:39.320 They're paying for it and promoting it. So what exactly are you contributing? 38:39.400 --> 38:40.320 Idea. 38:42.200 --> 38:45.120 - An idea is a powerful thing. - A very powerful thing! 38:45.200 --> 38:48.520 Twelve years ago, you didn't even have an idea. All you had was Sidhu ji, 38:48.600 --> 38:49.960 and you built a whole show. 38:57.480 --> 38:59.160 Sir, should I take that as a yes? 38:59.800 --> 39:00.920 No! 39:01.000 --> 39:03.720 It's a no from them. And from us, it's time for you to leave. 39:06.360 --> 39:08.720 Sir, is that a no from you? 39:08.800 --> 39:10.640 - Madam, you're not taking it? - Yeah, no, no! 39:10.720 --> 39:11.760 No worries. Just a minute. 39:13.160 --> 39:14.920 Sir, at least take some dates! 39:15.000 --> 39:18.280 I paid ₹400 for all this. I'm not leaving empty-handed. 39:19.880 --> 39:22.440 You started with flats and ended up begging with dates. What a guy! 39:22.520 --> 39:23.800 Have some puff pastry snacks. 39:24.840 --> 39:26.280 It costs just ₹150. I'm not asking for much. 39:26.880 --> 39:27.720 Not even these? 39:27.800 --> 39:29.080 - No! - You're being impossible! 39:29.160 --> 39:32.680 You can get your nails trimmed for ₹100. Ma'am, I'll do something for you. 39:38.080 --> 39:39.120 I am giving you a final offer. 39:39.200 --> 39:41.240 - Yes. - Get your ears cleaned for just ₹20! 39:45.400 --> 39:47.040 Pack up your stuff. 39:47.120 --> 39:49.320 - Get out! - Nothing? 39:49.400 --> 39:50.240 No, no. 39:50.320 --> 39:51.920 Cold water, anyone? 39:53.160 --> 39:55.120 Who will have some cold water? 39:56.080 --> 39:56.920 I love this! 39:57.040 --> 39:59.240 Actually, I'm no sheikh or anything. 39:59.320 --> 40:02.720 I'm Bittu. I just happened to be nearby. Then I heard Kareena and Saif were here. 40:02.800 --> 40:04.120 I thought I'd try selling them something. 40:04.200 --> 40:05.560 Some big shots, huh? Didn't buy a thing! 40:05.640 --> 40:08.120 Would you like something? Cold coffee? Nice and cold! 40:10.360 --> 40:11.520 You don't want? Hello? 40:14.240 --> 40:15.880 That was brilliant! Brilliant. 40:16.760 --> 40:20.200 We've come up with a little game. Here, I've got two boards for you. 40:20.280 --> 40:22.600 These are labeled "Romantic" and "Cringe." 40:22.680 --> 40:25.800 You'll have to hold these up and tell us 40:25.880 --> 40:27.800 which things are romantic and which are just cringe. 40:29.040 --> 40:32.640 A lot of couples dress alike when they go to parties 40:32.720 --> 40:34.560 or special occasions. 40:36.080 --> 40:36.920 Do you think… 40:39.680 --> 40:40.560 What did you… 40:40.640 --> 40:42.720 I'd say, don't make your kids wear matching outfits either. 40:42.800 --> 40:44.240 - Oh, yeah! - But why? 40:44.320 --> 40:48.200 I think kids should dress in a way that reflects their own personalities. 40:48.280 --> 40:49.920 - Yes. - Their personality should shine through. 40:50.000 --> 40:53.440 We should be able to express our 40:53.520 --> 40:55.520 - individual personalities too. - Okay, cringe. 40:55.600 --> 40:57.040 - Okay. - Very cringe. 40:57.120 --> 40:57.960 These days… 40:58.040 --> 41:01.600 Posting your partner's photo on social media to wish them, 41:01.680 --> 41:02.960 is it romantic or cringe? 41:03.840 --> 41:06.120 I'm stuck here now. 41:07.960 --> 41:11.400 Sometimes she taunts me, saying, "Look at what he's saying about his wife." 41:12.600 --> 41:14.920 What has Vicky written about Katrina? 41:15.560 --> 41:18.000 Lovely poem, a flowery, long thing… 41:18.120 --> 41:19.720 Do I need to write that now? 41:19.800 --> 41:21.240 Of course. 41:21.320 --> 41:23.600 I think writing a lot in public is cringe. 41:28.000 --> 41:30.480 I think it's quite romantic. 41:30.560 --> 41:31.600 Okay… 41:31.680 --> 41:36.120 Getting a tattoo of your partner's name, is it romantic or cringe? 41:41.480 --> 41:42.520 Depends on where you get it. 41:42.600 --> 41:44.880 - Now you've done it. - Yes, I did. 41:44.960 --> 41:47.560 - I'm very happy. I love my tattoo. - Then? 41:48.120 --> 41:51.960 Calling your partner cute nicknames like baby, sweetheart, 41:52.040 --> 41:53.880 or darling in front of everyone, 41:53.960 --> 41:55.520 is it romantic or cringe? 41:55.600 --> 41:59.560 I don't know. It's romantic if you use the same nickname at home too. 41:59.640 --> 42:01.200 - I suppose… No? I don't know. - Yeah. 42:01.280 --> 42:03.800 - It's a little cringe. Cringe, romantic. - Yeah. Cringe. 42:03.880 --> 42:06.560 - Cringe? - What does Bebo call you at home? 42:06.640 --> 42:09.680 - Saif. Saifu - Saifu. 42:10.280 --> 42:11.880 I call her "K." 42:11.960 --> 42:13.400 - I call her "K." mostly. - "K…" 42:13.480 --> 42:17.680 Okay. I cannot believe this, 42:17.760 --> 42:19.880 but I think it happens. That is why it is written here. 42:19.960 --> 42:23.400 Using baby talk with your partner, 42:23.480 --> 42:26.040 like "What is my baby doing?" 42:26.120 --> 42:29.120 - "What are you doing?" - No! 42:29.200 --> 42:31.440 - In a way… - Does that happen? 42:31.520 --> 42:32.400 It's not that bad. 42:32.480 --> 42:34.400 - A bit of baby talk is nice. - No. 42:34.480 --> 42:37.320 - No. - No… No… 42:37.400 --> 42:40.120 Have you ever spoken to your wife like that? 42:40.200 --> 42:41.200 No. 42:42.000 --> 42:44.120 Did my baby eat? 42:45.280 --> 42:48.560 Sir, you're now a dada. I'm sure you would speak like that to the kid. 42:48.640 --> 42:50.640 Of course. Everyone does it. 42:50.720 --> 42:53.360 That's the end of this conversation. Thank you. 42:56.720 --> 42:59.400 We have a beautiful couple with us here. 43:00.080 --> 43:02.720 We are having fun and are roasting too. 43:02.800 --> 43:08.720 Saif sir, you know, husbands wish that their wives always listen to them. 43:08.800 --> 43:10.760 So, they try to implement schemes. 43:11.360 --> 43:13.960 Many of them do superstitious rituals too. 43:14.040 --> 43:16.240 - Magic? - Yes. 43:16.320 --> 43:17.520 - Yes? - They say… 43:17.600 --> 43:18.960 They wrap something in betel leaves. 43:19.040 --> 43:20.320 "Wrap in betel leaves!" 43:22.120 --> 43:25.280 Is there anyone among you 43:26.080 --> 43:29.600 where the wife, in order to make her husband loyal, 43:29.680 --> 43:31.280 - does something… - Did you see that horror movie? 43:31.360 --> 43:32.480 - Which one? - Obsession? 43:32.560 --> 43:34.480 - Yeah! - It's the same story. 43:34.560 --> 43:35.720 Right. 43:35.800 --> 43:38.200 I do not want my wife to be that obedient. 43:38.800 --> 43:39.640 Right. 43:42.280 --> 43:44.880 Is there anyone here who has enchanted someone? 43:44.960 --> 43:47.240 - Please come forward. Yes, madam. - Wow. 43:47.320 --> 43:49.600 - Hello. buddy. - Your chant… I mean enchantment…, 43:49.680 --> 43:50.520 It was a success. 43:52.360 --> 43:54.480 - You got your husband. - What's that? "Chant?" 43:54.560 --> 43:56.720 Why did you say "chant"? 43:57.760 --> 43:59.800 I want to share something. 43:59.880 --> 44:02.960 Wives normally do superstitious remedies after marriage, 44:03.040 --> 44:04.480 while I used them before that. 44:04.560 --> 44:05.600 What? 44:05.680 --> 44:08.160 - After marriage? - Yes. 44:10.880 --> 44:12.520 One of my friends 44:12.600 --> 44:15.960 had gifted me a saree and said that it's very lucky. 44:16.040 --> 44:18.560 She told me to wear that saree whenever a potential groom came to see me. 44:18.640 --> 44:21.600 It would make sure the guy would always be under my control. 44:21.680 --> 44:26.720 So, when he came to meet me, I wore that and he obeys me since then. 44:29.400 --> 44:30.760 Wow! 44:32.920 --> 44:34.360 - What is your name? - Vasudev. 44:34.440 --> 44:36.080 Vasudev sir, tell me one thing. 44:36.160 --> 44:38.080 The saree that madam mentioned… 44:38.160 --> 44:39.760 I got to know about it later. 44:40.280 --> 44:42.760 - What? - About what she did. 44:42.840 --> 44:45.800 What special did you find in that saree that made you obey her always? 44:45.880 --> 44:47.720 I don't know. I still obey her. 44:49.480 --> 44:51.760 So, it means that saree does not have any magical effect. 44:51.840 --> 44:53.640 - You have to be a husband. That's all. - No. 44:53.720 --> 44:55.880 I am not sure. She says that saree is lucky. 44:55.960 --> 44:58.800 I had liked her in that saree when I first met her. 44:58.880 --> 45:02.800 Did your madam make this twirled mustache of yours too? 45:02.880 --> 45:04.200 Yes, it is her doing. 45:04.280 --> 45:06.280 Did you do anything by yourself today? 45:06.360 --> 45:07.560 I mean, like… 45:07.640 --> 45:10.720 Auction that saree. You will get a huge profit for sure. 45:10.800 --> 45:12.680 Madam, that saree was passed on to many people. 45:12.760 --> 45:13.960 She herself told me. 45:14.640 --> 45:16.840 Once she was done, her friend used it. 45:16.920 --> 45:19.040 Then she gave it to another friend. 45:19.120 --> 45:21.280 Everyone's marriage got fixed as well. 45:22.560 --> 45:23.840 This is real, not a joke. 45:23.920 --> 45:25.840 Can you send that saree to Salman's house? 45:29.320 --> 45:30.440 Okay. 45:32.200 --> 45:33.560 It was very nice to meet you both. 45:33.640 --> 45:35.880 - Thank you. Anyone else? - Thank you, sir. I am a big fan of yours. 45:35.960 --> 45:38.560 Thank you, Vasudev. Both of you are lovely. 45:38.640 --> 45:40.840 Anyone else? Yes, buddy. 45:40.920 --> 45:44.480 - Hi, sir. My wedding is next month. - I see. 45:44.560 --> 45:45.800 Before that-- 45:45.880 --> 45:47.160 - What is your name? - Vijay. 45:47.240 --> 45:48.560 - Your wedding's next month? - Yes, sir. 45:48.640 --> 45:51.000 - In November. I want to invite you. - Okay. What? 45:52.520 --> 45:54.880 I attended my own wedding with great difficulty. 45:55.320 --> 45:57.960 - Has your soon-to-be wife come too? - Yes. 45:58.040 --> 46:01.160 - Hello. Congratulations. - Thank you, sir. 46:01.240 --> 46:03.120 I said it to her. You will be taken care of. 46:04.880 --> 46:08.480 - Go ahead. - Sir, my messaging apps, 46:08.560 --> 46:13.040 email or even the movies that I watch on Netflix, 46:13.120 --> 46:14.200 are linked to hers. 46:14.280 --> 46:19.720 She gets to know about all my activities. Everything is connected to her device. 46:19.800 --> 46:23.640 I sell cybersecurity products, but she is the one who keeps tab on everything. 46:23.720 --> 46:27.000 You're in cybersecurity, yet your own phone is not secure. 46:27.080 --> 46:28.120 Sir… 46:31.320 --> 46:33.600 I have let her do it. 46:33.680 --> 46:36.920 I actually wanted to ask her why she does that. 46:37.000 --> 46:38.160 Okay, ask her. 46:38.840 --> 46:41.480 We could have saved time if you had asked her this at home. 46:42.240 --> 46:44.320 Now that you are here, madam can answer it. 46:45.840 --> 46:47.320 I, actually… 46:47.400 --> 46:50.480 No one does it directly. I have caught him red-handed twice. 46:50.560 --> 46:52.280 - Once. - No. 46:52.360 --> 46:53.920 What did you catch him doing? 46:54.000 --> 46:55.000 Ask her. 46:55.080 --> 46:57.240 - What was he… - What was he doing? 46:57.320 --> 47:00.200 - Tell us. - I am in love with her. 47:00.280 --> 47:03.440 I was talking about business to someone else and she mistook it. 47:03.520 --> 47:04.840 She started suspecting me. 47:04.920 --> 47:06.480 What business were you talking about? 47:10.160 --> 47:13.560 Sir, the digital footprint is everywhere. 47:13.640 --> 47:16.640 - So, be careful. - Yes. 47:16.720 --> 47:19.920 - I will be careful now, sir. - I was once listening to music 47:20.000 --> 47:21.920 in Kolkata on my phone. 47:22.000 --> 47:23.240 The music was played 47:23.320 --> 47:24.680 - in my house in Mumbai. - At our house. 47:24.760 --> 47:26.000 Really? 47:26.080 --> 47:28.840 - Imagine the possibilities. - I was wondering where it was coming from. 47:28.920 --> 47:31.800 So, be careful whenever you play music. 47:32.720 --> 47:34.520 - Thank you. Sorry, I forgot your name. - Thank you. 47:34.600 --> 47:36.600 - Vijay. She is Meghna. - Vijay… 47:36.680 --> 47:38.400 - Congratulations. - Good luck, Vijay. 47:38.480 --> 47:40.480 - Good luck, Meghna. - Thank you, sir. Thank you. 47:42.200 --> 47:45.600 Kapil, I want to say something. 47:46.120 --> 47:48.280 I don't know if it's an enchantment or not. 47:48.360 --> 47:54.360 I know one thing, that the Kapil Sharma Show brings people together 47:54.440 --> 47:58.680 and makes us so happy that it is something else. 47:58.760 --> 48:01.680 Yesterday, my parents came home. 48:01.760 --> 48:04.680 My father is almost 80 years old. 48:04.760 --> 48:06.640 I know that you love his songs. 48:06.720 --> 48:08.920 - Yes. - You had told us the last time. 48:09.000 --> 48:11.480 He keeps watching old films 48:11.560 --> 48:14.920 because his memory has become a bit weak. He has dementia. 48:15.480 --> 48:18.160 Yesterday while we were talking casually over tea, 48:18.240 --> 48:23.160 and I said, "Dad, tomorrow I am going to the Kapil Sharma Show." 48:23.240 --> 48:25.160 His eyes lit up. 48:25.240 --> 48:28.400 - How sweet! - He was like, "I'll watch it for sure." 48:28.480 --> 48:32.680 Every evening he watches your show on repeat. 48:32.760 --> 48:35.920 Thank you, Kareena, for your kind words. 48:36.000 --> 48:37.120 Really. 48:37.680 --> 48:39.720 Your show itself is an enchantment. 48:39.800 --> 48:43.120 - In a lucky way. - How sweet! 49:22.880 --> 49:26.080 Bahu, why did you make me stop in the middle of the road? 49:26.160 --> 49:27.960 Mummy ji… 49:28.040 --> 49:30.040 - Your report has come. - Okay. 49:30.120 --> 49:33.440 - We needed educated people to read it. - Yes. 49:33.520 --> 49:36.160 Educated people are seated here, Mummy ji. 49:42.040 --> 49:44.000 Lo… Lo…That's wonderful. 49:44.080 --> 49:46.000 She is not Lolo. She is Bebo. 49:47.680 --> 49:49.600 Yes. Bebo. 49:51.320 --> 49:53.720 My mother-in-law is a great fan of yours. 49:54.400 --> 49:57.000 She keeps saying your name all day. 49:57.080 --> 49:59.400 Yes. 49:59.480 --> 50:00.760 When do I take her name? 50:03.640 --> 50:07.560 You always tell me, "'Did you boil the tea?" 50:08.480 --> 50:10.840 - Did you heat the curry? - Yes… Kareena… 50:10.920 --> 50:13.120 - Did you heat rotis? - Kareena… 50:13.200 --> 50:15.120 This is Kareena. 50:17.240 --> 50:20.920 To be honest, I now understand 50:21.000 --> 50:23.440 why Saif always says, "Wow." 50:23.520 --> 50:24.560 Of course. 50:24.640 --> 50:28.320 When the wife is so beautiful, anyone would say "Wow!" 50:30.480 --> 50:34.680 My son got married five years ago. 50:34.760 --> 50:36.040 To her. 50:37.960 --> 50:41.040 I have not heard him say "wow" even once in these five years. 50:44.360 --> 50:47.520 My father-in-law has not said "wow" for 35 years. 50:51.280 --> 50:52.800 What did you say? 50:52.880 --> 50:55.760 Mummy ji, you always scold me. 50:55.840 --> 50:58.440 Look at her. Her mother-in-law never scolds her. 50:58.520 --> 51:01.640 That's because her daughter-in-law is Kareena Kapoor. 51:02.320 --> 51:06.280 Her son is Saif Ali Khan. Your son is Moongfali Khan. 51:10.600 --> 51:14.880 Mummy ji… I meant to say that she is a great fan of yours. 51:14.960 --> 51:18.280 Saif, I am a great fan of yours. 51:18.360 --> 51:21.640 We were watching your film on cable before coming here. 51:21.720 --> 51:23.240 Kachhe Dhaage. 51:24.440 --> 51:27.400 Mummy ji, not Kachhe Dhaage, It's Kachche Dhaage. 51:28.120 --> 51:29.240 Kachche Dhaage. 51:29.880 --> 51:32.320 So, "underwear" is also is made of "thread," right? 51:35.400 --> 51:37.520 Why are you always after the underwear? 51:38.520 --> 51:40.200 Hold on to the thread as well. 51:41.560 --> 51:43.360 - I will call your Mom. - No, Mummy ji. 51:43.440 --> 51:44.720 - I will call your Mom. - No. 51:44.800 --> 51:48.560 No, Mummy ji. Don't call her. No. 51:48.640 --> 51:50.720 She has backache on her backpain, Mummy ji. 51:50.800 --> 51:52.360 - On her backpain! - Don't stress her out. 51:53.280 --> 51:55.320 What kind of stress does your Mom have? 51:55.400 --> 51:58.800 She has sent all her stress to our house. 51:58.880 --> 52:01.960 - Stress… - Do remember one thing, Mummy ji… 52:02.040 --> 52:05.720 The fridge in your house was brought by this stress. 52:06.400 --> 52:08.440 Stress brought the washing machine as well. 52:08.520 --> 52:11.520 These earrings were also gifted by stress during her wedding. 52:11.600 --> 52:13.960 - Okay. - The mixer that you use 52:14.040 --> 52:16.280 - to make juice was brought by stress. - Okay. 52:16.360 --> 52:18.600 - Yeah. - Let's discuss that at home. 52:18.680 --> 52:21.200 There are guests here. Let's talk to them. 52:22.760 --> 52:23.800 All right. 52:25.320 --> 52:28.520 Tell them how your husband, my son, is a fan. Tell them. 52:28.600 --> 52:31.720 My husband is very much a fan of yours. 52:31.800 --> 52:36.400 He always sings your song "Pungi Bajaake." 52:37.200 --> 52:38.880 Says it in everything. 52:38.960 --> 52:41.960 He loves it. He says, "Give me food, 'pungi bajaake.'" 52:43.720 --> 52:45.520 "I am going to sleep, 'pungi bajaake.'" 52:46.400 --> 52:48.640 "Pungi Bajaake" is his favorite. 52:48.720 --> 52:52.160 After I do all the household chores, I become like the snake charmer's flute. 52:55.000 --> 52:57.040 - You talk too much. Wait. - Mummy ji. 52:57.120 --> 52:58.200 - No. - Wait… 52:58.280 --> 52:59.680 - Behen ji… - No, Mummy… 52:59.760 --> 53:01.560 What kind of daughter have you sent to our house? 53:01.640 --> 53:04.960 She says she becomes a snake charmer's flute in our house. 53:05.600 --> 53:06.920 Is it right? 53:07.000 --> 53:10.320 If she has married into our house, she is bound to do household chores. 53:10.400 --> 53:12.800 Who gets spared after marriage anyway? 53:12.880 --> 53:15.960 Everyone becomes a flute. When I got married, 53:16.040 --> 53:17.560 don't you think I became a snake charmer's flute? 53:18.560 --> 53:20.520 Wasn't your situation the same? 53:21.120 --> 53:23.680 What should I do? Should I work in my old age as well? 53:23.760 --> 53:27.160 Will it look good if the mother-in-law becomes a flute? 53:28.800 --> 53:30.360 Give some advice to your daughter. 53:31.000 --> 53:32.040 Mummy ji… 53:32.760 --> 53:34.280 She already had a backache. 53:34.360 --> 53:37.000 You are in tension. Your BP is high. 53:37.080 --> 53:38.920 Let's show the report. They are educated people. 53:39.000 --> 53:40.280 Okay, show them the report. 53:40.360 --> 53:42.800 - Your report is here. - Show it to them. 53:43.440 --> 53:45.720 Her report is here. 53:45.800 --> 53:50.160 The doctor has given the blood report and tasted her urine as well. 53:51.200 --> 53:52.440 "Taste"? It must be "test." 53:52.520 --> 53:53.880 "Taste"? What? 53:54.680 --> 53:56.880 - It's her medical report? - Yes. 53:58.240 --> 54:01.560 How can she weigh 475 kgs? 54:02.160 --> 54:03.400 It is possible. 54:06.520 --> 54:08.280 Really? It says, 54:09.040 --> 54:12.040 "This medicine is to be applied three times a day 54:12.120 --> 54:13.360 to the horns." 54:13.440 --> 54:14.440 Apply it to her horns? 54:15.960 --> 54:18.440 Mummy ji, I will apply it for you. I am here to serve you. 54:18.520 --> 54:19.920 Tell me where is your horn? 54:22.560 --> 54:25.560 My horn is attached to my tail. Nonsense. 54:25.640 --> 54:28.160 This is my buffalo's report. 54:31.000 --> 54:33.640 - Mummy ji… - Where is my report? 54:33.720 --> 54:36.200 Mummy ji, it got mixed up. Sorry. 54:36.280 --> 54:40.120 It got mixed up because your sizes are the same. 54:40.280 --> 54:41.200 What did you say? 54:42.320 --> 54:43.880 Not your size and that of the buffalo. 54:43.960 --> 54:45.600 I meant the size of your reports. 54:45.680 --> 54:48.280 Look here. Both are the same size. 54:48.360 --> 54:50.080 - This is your report, Mummy ji. - Same-sized reports. 54:50.160 --> 54:51.840 What is written in it? 54:54.120 --> 54:56.640 Mummy ji… 55:01.080 --> 55:02.520 - What happened? - What happened? 55:02.600 --> 55:05.520 She is lactose intolerant. 55:06.400 --> 55:08.120 - No. - Yes. 55:08.200 --> 55:11.440 - Really? - Your motabolism was okay earlier. 55:12.160 --> 55:13.640 "Motabolism!" 55:15.160 --> 55:17.720 Mummy ji… 55:19.160 --> 55:20.520 It's okay, bahu. 55:20.600 --> 55:23.800 Tell me, how many days more will I live? 55:23.880 --> 55:26.520 Nonsense. This is not a disease. 55:26.600 --> 55:28.400 It's a simple allergy. It is common. 55:29.040 --> 55:31.240 Saif sir, aren't you lactose intolerant? 55:31.320 --> 55:32.960 - Yes. - Then? 55:33.040 --> 55:35.440 Great. Then it's a good news. 55:37.760 --> 55:40.760 Do you mean to say that I too have rich people's allergy? 55:41.960 --> 55:45.320 I will have to celebrate it. 55:45.400 --> 55:47.720 You make rice pudding at home with 5 kgs of milk. 55:48.400 --> 55:50.440 We are now among the elite. 55:51.760 --> 55:54.560 Mummy, you be an elite. I don't want to be one. 55:54.640 --> 55:55.640 Why? 55:55.720 --> 55:58.000 Elite life is totally different. 55:58.080 --> 55:59.600 I am happy the way I am. 56:00.160 --> 56:01.920 - Yes. - What is different? 56:02.000 --> 56:05.800 They go by car to gym in order to walk. What's the use of being such an elite? 56:08.480 --> 56:11.320 If they go by walk, they will sweat. 56:11.400 --> 56:14.200 They will sweat even in the gym, Mummy ji. 56:15.840 --> 56:17.600 Look at us. 56:17.680 --> 56:20.920 We throw away old items. 56:21.000 --> 56:23.120 The elite keep it at home, saying it's "vintage." 56:26.280 --> 56:28.240 If they are saying so, there might be some truth to it. 56:28.320 --> 56:30.760 There will be a difference between "vintage" and "trash." 56:30.840 --> 56:32.720 It's all about the mood, Mummy ji. 56:33.320 --> 56:35.520 When father-in-law is in a good mood, 56:35.600 --> 56:36.680 he calls you vintage. 56:36.760 --> 56:38.720 Otherwise, you know what you are. 56:46.120 --> 56:49.160 Mummy ji, stay here. Don't chase the elite. 56:50.400 --> 56:51.920 They have electricity 24 hours, 56:52.000 --> 56:54.240 yet they switch them off for a candlelight dinner. 56:55.480 --> 56:57.120 We do not have electricity at night in our homes. 56:57.200 --> 56:59.680 We enjoy candlelight dinners every day. 56:59.760 --> 57:02.960 Let alone dinner, even when my son has to use the latrine, 57:03.120 --> 57:05.080 he too uses candlelight. 57:07.480 --> 57:10.240 Mummy, you be an elite. I don't want to. 57:10.680 --> 57:12.080 I will not stay here. 57:12.160 --> 57:13.800 I am going. One minute. 57:13.880 --> 57:17.720 Hello. I am coming. I am lactose in-toilet. 57:18.360 --> 57:20.880 Yes. I will come home and explain. 57:20.960 --> 57:22.200 What can one do? 57:22.280 --> 57:24.880 She changes her mood for every little thing. 57:24.960 --> 57:26.080 What do I do? 57:26.720 --> 57:28.440 I wanted to be educated in life, 57:28.520 --> 57:31.880 but the situation at my house was not good. 57:32.600 --> 57:35.640 My father played cards in the courtyard, 57:35.720 --> 57:38.520 and I enjoyed it so much that I whiled away my whole day in that. 57:40.360 --> 57:41.200 I couldn't study. 57:41.360 --> 57:43.280 If not the day, you could have studied at night. 57:43.360 --> 57:45.640 I told you there is no electricity at night. 57:45.720 --> 57:48.680 You can't see anything. It's very dark. I will show you. 57:48.760 --> 57:49.840 It's extremely dark. 57:49.920 --> 57:51.800 Suppose I am seated here at night. 57:56.600 --> 57:59.720 It's very dark. You won't get it here because it's bright here. 57:59.800 --> 58:02.800 Saif ji, come with me. I will tell you how dark it is. 58:02.880 --> 58:03.960 Sit here. 58:04.040 --> 58:05.200 You will not be able to imagine. 58:05.280 --> 58:07.160 - To sit here and read a book… - I sit here? 58:07.240 --> 58:08.360 Sit here. 58:09.120 --> 58:11.200 Here is a book. Okay? 58:11.280 --> 58:12.760 I have a book here. 58:12.840 --> 58:15.240 Now try to read it when it's dark. 58:16.640 --> 58:17.720 See for yourself. 58:18.240 --> 58:19.600 Watch the hair. 58:25.520 --> 58:28.600 - Are you able to see anything? - No, I cannot see. 58:28.680 --> 58:29.880 - Hey… - Goodness… 58:29.960 --> 58:32.840 Whose pages are you turning? 58:33.560 --> 58:36.520 Nothing is visible. We cannot even play Ludo. 58:37.160 --> 58:41.960 Hey, you smell like the soap that Kareena promotes. 58:42.840 --> 58:45.760 - We can do only one thing in the dark. - What? 58:45.840 --> 58:49.000 I have some peanuts. We can eat them. 58:50.760 --> 58:52.480 - Have some peanuts? - Yes. 58:52.560 --> 58:54.440 Why are you peeling my peanuts? 58:55.480 --> 58:57.240 Eat yours. 59:00.240 --> 59:03.280 Peanuts are very tasty. Okay… 59:03.360 --> 59:05.920 Son, look. 59:06.000 --> 59:08.960 Look at what your wife is doing. 59:10.000 --> 59:11.000 Look here. 59:12.680 --> 59:15.320 - Son, look here. - You kept me hungry, 59:15.400 --> 59:17.000 and you're feeding him peanuts? 59:17.080 --> 59:17.920 - It's not right. - I… 59:18.600 --> 59:20.720 I never had peanuts before marriage. 59:20.800 --> 59:23.560 I had them only after getting married to you. 59:23.640 --> 59:25.480 I was just peeling them for him. 59:26.040 --> 59:29.000 Let's go home. I will not spare you. 59:29.080 --> 59:30.800 - I told you… - Come. Let's go. 59:30.880 --> 59:33.040 - I told you. Where are you going? - Come on. 59:33.120 --> 59:34.760 - Come on. - She will go. 59:34.840 --> 59:36.880 - Hold her. Let's go. - Come on. 59:42.080 --> 59:44.960 Guys, let's give a big round of applause for Saif and Kareena. 59:45.440 --> 59:46.560 Come on, Kareena ji. 59:47.600 --> 59:50.560 Kareena, whenever you've come on our show, we had great fun. 59:50.840 --> 59:52.760 Saif, we've had a great time whenever you are here. 59:52.840 --> 59:56.120 But today, you came together. We had so much fun. What an episode! 59:56.920 --> 59:58.000 Thank you! 59:58.240 --> 59:59.640 Thank you so much for coming. 01:00:00.440 --> 01:00:02.280 Do you want to say something to your fans? 01:00:02.360 --> 01:00:05.160 Actually, we have come here like this for the first time. 01:00:05.240 --> 01:00:06.360 - Because… - Together. 01:00:06.440 --> 01:00:10.560 Before now, every time we've come, it's been for film promotion. 01:00:10.640 --> 01:00:13.720 - This time it is a different feeling. - Free mind. 01:00:13.800 --> 01:00:16.160 I don't know… Something free… Personal. 01:00:16.240 --> 01:00:18.280 We got a chance to share with you. 01:00:18.360 --> 01:00:21.640 - Moreover, with family it's more special. - Very special. 01:00:21.720 --> 01:00:23.080 Thank you. I am so happy! 01:00:23.160 --> 01:00:24.240 So, friends, 01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:27.160 little moments make life beautiful. 01:00:27.240 --> 01:00:31.040 So, do not wait for any special occasion to laugh. 01:00:31.120 --> 01:00:32.800 The laughter festival is aired on Netflix. 01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:34.920 Keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show, season 5. 01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:36.120 We'll meet again next Saturday. 01:00:36.200 --> 01:00:39.040 Till then, good night! 01:00:45.440 --> 01:00:48.560 Today, we welcome the talents of the music world as our guests. 01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:49.680 They are ruling everywhere. 01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:52.680 Please welcome on stage, Jasmine Sandlas, 01:00:52.760 --> 01:00:54.360 Mr. Satinder Sartaaj, 01:00:54.440 --> 01:00:58.200 Shashwat Sachdev and Rishab Rikhiram Sharma. 01:00:58.960 --> 01:01:03.240 He is glowing so much. He dresses like a groom for his concert. 01:01:03.320 --> 01:01:04.360 Henna on his hands. 01:01:04.440 --> 01:01:07.600 Sherwani. Just put a horse under him and you can start the wedding procession. 01:01:08.880 --> 01:01:11.320 Every film's getting National Awards. How do you feel, Shashwat? 01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:12.440 Sir, when I was a kid-- 01:01:12.520 --> 01:01:14.160 You still look like a kid. 01:01:14.720 --> 01:01:16.720 I used to feel that Dhurandhar songs 01:01:16.800 --> 01:01:19.160 must have been composed by someone muscular with a mustache. 01:01:19.240 --> 01:01:20.800 But when I met Shashwat, he looked so sweet. 01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:22.840 Tell us. When you were a kid… 01:01:22.920 --> 01:01:24.520 I forgot what I wanted to say. 01:01:25.880 --> 01:01:28.880 Ranveer Singh looked like a hero because of the background. 01:01:28.960 --> 01:01:31.640 Otherwise, there are many guys with long hair. 01:01:31.720 --> 01:01:35.160 They come here from the mountains to sell Ayurvedic medicines and dates. 01:01:36.440 --> 01:01:37.920 Our song "Jaiye Sajana," 01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:42.800 I have poured my life's feelings into that song. 01:01:42.880 --> 01:01:44.320 - Am I speaking Hindi well? - Very good. 01:01:44.400 --> 01:01:47.840 It's my favorite thing, whether someone gets it or not. 01:01:47.920 --> 01:01:50.160 The moment she started in Punjabi, it's like a machine gun firing. 01:01:50.720 --> 01:01:52.600 "The fireflies are very happy-go-lucky." 01:01:52.680 --> 01:01:54.520 Are they Urdu words or Punjabi? 01:01:54.600 --> 01:01:56.800 - Persian. Yes. - Do you know Persian as well? 01:01:56.880 --> 01:01:58.520 - What is it that you do not know? - Comedy. 01:02:00.720 --> 01:02:01.800 Bansuri, this side. 01:02:01.880 --> 01:02:04.160 Then, what are you on the other side? 01:02:04.240 --> 01:02:05.920 Why do you want to explore my other side?