WEBVTT

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Come on!

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Good evening and welcome
to <i>The Great Indian Kapil Show!</i>

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Are you all happy?

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Yes!

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The ones who've come with wives happy?

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Yes!

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The ones who've come
with their wives happy too?

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Has anyone come with someone else's wife?

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I mean, your father's wife… Your mother.

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Or your <i>chacha's</i> wife, your <i>chachi.</i>

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Who all have come with their wives?

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You two…

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a couple… Oh, this one?

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So, sir…

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- You've to rate your happiness out of 100.
- 1000!

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- 1000 out of 100?
- Yes.

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Do you really mean it
or are you under some pressure?

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I mean it, sir. Mine is a love marriage.

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- Ma'am, same question to you.
- 1001.

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You are blessed!

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Thanks a lot for coming to the show.
Thank you, ma'am.

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How many people among you
have worn clothes of your choice?

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And how many of you

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have worn clothes of your wife's choice?

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Your wife chose your clothes?

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Why do you go with her choice?

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Do you agree that her choice is better?

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- No, sir--
- Her choice is not better?

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Choice, I mean…

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I got a sudden chance,
that's how it happened.

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- What happened?
- My marriage.

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- Otherwise…
- Chance? Did you just run into her?

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Yes, sir. I ran into her.

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You must have met or talked to her.

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- No, sir. I didn't…
- Didn't even meet her?

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Ma'am, was he the only one
on that road that day?

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How many years has it been?

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- Fifteen years.
- Fifteen years.

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- How many kids do you have?
- Two.

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Did you plan it
or they also just happened?

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Not the first one, only the second.

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He just happened, we didn't realize.

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So much is happening with him
and he's not realizing.

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You tell me, was he the only one
on the road that day?

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Yes, sir. Only him.

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So, it wasn't your choice
but the only option.

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You can say that.

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Thank you, please sit.
Anyone else who went with wife's choice?

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- Yes?
- I went with AI's choice.

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I took its suggestion
on which dress I should wear.

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- AI or your <i>Aai?</i>
- AI!

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- Artificial Intelligence?
- Yes.

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I kept three dresses in front of it

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and asked which one is the best
for <i>The Kapil Sharma Show.</i>

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What if it asked you to wear a skirt?

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No, it suggested
that glittery outfits are not ideal.

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It gave explained in detail.

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Is he with you?

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No, he is not.

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Then why is he looking at you so lovingly?

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Sir, how are you?

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Is he with you?

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- No, sir…
- Your husband's name on your Aadhar card,

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whose name is it there?

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Sir, I am single.

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Hey, congratulations!

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Both their faces started glowing!

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Wow! Thanks a lot for coming to the show.

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Okay, then… Thank you!

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I wish every couple be blessed.

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Since we are talking about couples,

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I'd like to invite a beautiful couple
who all of you are crazy about.

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Please welcome the very beautiful
Kareena Kapoor Khan and Mr. Saif Ali Khan!

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Saif sir!

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- Hello, sir.
- Welcome, sir! Welcome, Kareena!

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A loud round of applause!

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In the audience today,

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there are so many couples
and they are so excited!

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Before starting the show,

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let's take a selfie for social media.

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Everything is for social media now.

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Here we go!

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One this way too.

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Thank you! Thank you, Saif sir.

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- How? I do it too?
- Yes.

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You are sharp naturally, sir.

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- Sharp…
- Everyone has to do the Bebo pout!

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The entire audience
should do the Bebo pout.

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Come on, Saif sir.

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Okay, we all will do the iconic pout

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that Kareena has taught the whole world.

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Okay, guys. Ready?

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A loud cheer for Saif and Kareena!

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- Thank you, guys! Thank you so much!
- Thank you!

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Please come. Please come, Saif sir.

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Kapil, without any antenna or a wire,

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the heart is connecting to him.

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The girls' attention is
turning towards him.

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This life was moving
like the general car of a train,

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but after seeing Kareena,
it's flying like a plane.

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Wow!

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Well said!

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Saif sir, Kareena, a warm welcome to you.

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- Thank you.
- You both look so lovely, like always.

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- Thank you.
- They've been married for 14 years.

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After 14 years, faces end up looking like

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they are serving a life sentence.

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But they look so fresh!
Sir, what do you both eat?

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A lot of ghee is coming
to our home nowadays.

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Free ghee for two years!

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Someone told me that this couple

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has gotten the better of Baba Ramdev.

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She started Yoga and he got ghee.

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Sir, I watched your video.

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You got so excited when Bachchan <i>sahab</i>
said, "Congratulations!"

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"You get free ghee for two years."

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- Wow.
- He got so excited

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that he said, "That's why I came!"

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Then Bachchan <i>sahab</i>
confirmed with his team

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if he had announced ₹7 crore or something.

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No, you did say ghee.

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But your expressions
were like you won ₹7 crore, sir.

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Saif sir, did you
run out of ghee at house?

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No, there is ghee at home.

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But I got excited
for the grainy-textured ghee.

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The way Amit <i>ji</i> announced it,

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I thought he was giving it personally.

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So, I got excited.

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But we use a lot of ghee at my house.

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Seriously, you do?

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The kids have it and we do too.

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She doesn't just eat it,
she applies it on her feet at night.

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- Of course. It gives such good sleep!
- For good sleep.

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Imagine how romantic it is

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that our bedroom is smelling like a <i>dhaba.</i>

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She picks up the intercom and says,
"<i>Bhaisahab,</i> please bring the ghee."

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Warm it up a bit
and massage into your feet

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just before bed and then a warm quilt
on top of it. It's too good!

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I remember, when Archana <i>ji</i> used
to get ghee and massage it on her feet

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and for lunch, she'd rub the <i>paratha…</i>

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Sir, sorry for my bad joke.

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No, it's good!

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Kareena, the Kapoor family you came from,

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no one ever thought of dieting there

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- even in their wildest dreams.
- No.

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Kareena inspired a word that was
introduced in India for the first time.

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Zero figure.

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Kareena, how did you think of doing it?

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Kapil looks zero figure now.

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No, it's not zero.

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- You look great.
- Yes, he's lost a lot of weight.

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How?
Did you get an injection or something?

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- Sir, people tell me…
- People are doing it.

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Yes, many big personalities.

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- Yes.
- People tell me too.

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You're a big personality.

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No, no…

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We can't figure out
if Saif sir is serious or sarcastic.

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I watched it somewhere,
he was coming with Kareena

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and paparazzi were there.

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He says, "Wow."

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"Come into my bedroom."

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Someone came too.

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Oh, my God!

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You can laugh now.

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It wasn't funny back then.

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Putting on weight is very easy,
keep eating <i>parathas,</i>

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but losing it is the most difficult thing.

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Absolutely!

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Actors don't eat bottle gourd for nothing.

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Bottle gourd is actually
your favorite curry too.

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Seriously?

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- Yes, but I don't like saying it.
- In the whole Pataudi family,

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there's <i>Amma,</i> Soha, Saba, Saifu…

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- There's Sara too…
- The Pataudi family, I think,

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- everyone from Kolkata…
- …crazy about bottle gourd curry.

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I think, it's the most delicious curry.

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But it's sounds boring, I don't know.

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- We're <i>paya</i> lovers.
- Bottle gourd… Yeah.

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I know you love your pizzas, Bebo.

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Yeah, I love my pizzas and I love
all of that but they are very healthy.

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Kapoors and Pataudis are
on the opposite ends.

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They are too healthy.
And we are too unhealthy.

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But I have observed,
your friend circle matters a lot.

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Kareena's friends circle has
Amrita Arora, Karisma, Malaika Arora…

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Malaika!

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Why are you looking at me?

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She is her friend, I meant.

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- Guilty conscious, you know?
- Yeah.

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I was talking to her, she's her friend.

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All your friends are fit.

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Why is Sidhu <i>ji</i> excited?

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Actually, your friend is
friends with him as well.

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He lost 38 kilos immediately.

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Add 7 more to it and you'll have
Malaika's weight, 45 kilos.

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You have lost three-quarters of Malaika.

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Saif sir, we know
about Kareena's friends circle,

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like there's Malaika, Amrita,
Karisma, etc.

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But we've never seen your friends.

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My friends are not famous.

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They are my school friends.
So, no one knows them.

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I make do with her friends.

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Eyes on one, aim on another.

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- Wow!
- It's not bad.

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"Not bad," huh?

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But, Saif sir, congratulations!

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- On your debut on social media.
- Okay.

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He wasn't on social media
for all these years and now when he did,

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he's following only one person
on Instagram.

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She is here right now, only Kareena.

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You know, honestly
I didn't know joining it so simple.

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That's why I stayed away for years.

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I thought, it would need a passport
or a Aadhar card.

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Saif sir, social media
has a lot of benefits.

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If you have millions of followers,

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you can contest an election.

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If you have billions of followers,
you can form a party.

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Social media is strong.

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You have a good connection
with social media.

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- I did.
- Then what happened?

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You weren't on social media then.

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- He used to tweet at 1:00 a.m.
- It's nothing.

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Actually, I have an account manager.

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She said she won't let me control it.

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Because of Kapil <i>ji.</i>

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So that I don't mess up anything at night.

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But, genuinely, if you need any tips,

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you can ask Archana <i>ji.</i>

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- Yes.
- You won't believe,

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but she connects everything to it.

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She uploads what she eats…

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She made reels with her husband
and could buy two more bungalows.

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But his name is missing
from the registration deed.

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Since you have come, I welcome you.

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I want to show you a sample
of what happens on social media.

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Please have a look.

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COMMENT COMEDY!

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This is Saif sir's debut photo.
"Pataudi library."

00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:23.320 align:center
<i>"Judging books by their cover."</i>

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Do you get so well-dressed even at home?

00:13:26.600 --> 00:13:28.480 align:center
Yes, yes, everywhere.

00:13:28.560 --> 00:13:30.760 align:center
Because I even stopped watching TV.

00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:31.680 align:center
Sorry!

00:13:38.040 --> 00:13:39.440 align:center
Let's check the comments.

00:13:39.520 --> 00:13:42.280 align:center
<i>"He is a new creator, guys.</i>
<i>Let's support him."</i>

00:13:44.360 --> 00:13:45.200 align:center
More comments.

00:13:45.280 --> 00:13:49.640 align:center
"He's celebrating two years of free ghee
by entering Instagram."

00:13:52.280 --> 00:13:53.560 align:center
- I…
- People commenting.

00:13:53.640 --> 00:13:56.920 align:center
But I want to clear one thing,
I haven't got the ghee yet.

00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:04.600 align:center
Even my cheque's not come.

00:14:06.360 --> 00:14:08.040 align:center
- Saif!
- More comments.

00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:13.520 align:center
<i>- "Sir, reading a book…"</i>
- The blurred ones, are people abusing?

00:14:14.920 --> 00:14:16.840 align:center
No, no, those are not in public taste.

00:14:16.920 --> 00:14:19.480 align:center
Because I know what happens on Instagram.

00:14:19.560 --> 00:14:20.920 align:center
I had a secret account for years.

00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:21.960 align:center
I see!

00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:25.760 align:center
Which heroine were you stalking?

00:14:28.880 --> 00:14:32.080 align:center
- The one standing next to you.
- Yes, of course. That's the one.

00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:36.040 align:center
"Sir, reading a book
won't get you followers."

00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:38.280 align:center
<i>"If you want more followers,</i>

00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:40.440 align:center
upload a shirtless picture."

00:14:40.520 --> 00:14:41.440 align:center
Look.

00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:44.360 align:center
A shirtless picture at this age,

00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:46.640 align:center
I'll lose the few followers I have.

00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:50.920 align:center
More comments.

00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:52.560 align:center
Shirtless, it seems.

00:14:52.640 --> 00:14:57.600 align:center
I remember, Saif, when we went
on the Madhuri Dixit Live in Concert tour…

00:14:57.680 --> 00:15:00.640 align:center
Saif would, on stage,
take his shirt off and do that.

00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:04.000 align:center
Girls used to shout
like I am one of the Beatles.

00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.080 align:center
And it was a really great show!

00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:09.680 align:center
- Then Madhuri <i>ji</i> and her sister…
- Sister, yes!

00:15:09.760 --> 00:15:12.400 align:center
They called me backstage and said,
"We want to talk to you very seriously."

00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.080 align:center
"This is a family show,
do not take off your shirt again."

00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:20.800 align:center
So, again I used to take it off.
They used to say, "Saif!"

00:15:21.640 --> 00:15:23.160 align:center
Salman and…

00:15:23.240 --> 00:15:25.200 align:center
When he took off his shirt,
people used to go

00:15:25.280 --> 00:15:26.320 align:center
- Nuts!
- Absolutely mad.

00:15:26.400 --> 00:15:29.120 align:center
- They still do.
- Then everyone started to workout

00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:30.680 align:center
thinking they'd do the same.

00:15:30.760 --> 00:15:31.600 align:center
Good days!

00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:34.480 align:center
Let's do what we are here for,
read comments.

00:15:34.560 --> 00:15:36.320 align:center
Kareena's post!

00:15:36.400 --> 00:15:39.000 align:center
<i>"Self-love,</i>
<i>happy Women's Day, and hello IIFA!"</i>

00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:40.400 align:center
You were going to IIFA.

00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:42.240 align:center
Very nice. Beautiful picture.

00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:43.520 align:center
Let's read the comments.

00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:45.080 align:center
<i>"You are doing a noble work."</i>

00:15:45.160 --> 00:15:48.080 align:center
<i>"People have stopped reading newspapers</i>
<i>in the digital times."</i>

00:15:48.160 --> 00:15:50.880 align:center
<i>"After this photo,</i>
<i>people started reading newspaper again."</i>

00:15:52.320 --> 00:15:53.320 align:center
More comments.

00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:57.360 align:center
"Saif reads this newspaper
with morning tea."

00:16:02.560 --> 00:16:03.440 align:center
More comments.

00:16:03.520 --> 00:16:05.440 align:center
"Can I get your designer's number?"

00:16:05.520 --> 00:16:07.280 align:center
<i>"I have some old newspapers too."</i>

00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:10.120 align:center
<i>"I want a salwar suit stitched</i>
<i>for my wife."</i>

00:16:11.400 --> 00:16:13.160 align:center
- More comments.
- They are impossible!

00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:17.560 align:center
<i>Kareena's post. Three Kareenas together.</i>

00:16:17.640 --> 00:16:19.320 align:center
- Wow.
- Show the comments.

00:16:19.400 --> 00:16:21.720 align:center
<i>"Poo has become self-dependent now."</i>

00:16:21.800 --> 00:16:23.480 align:center
<i>"She doesn't wait</i>
<i>for anyone to turn around."</i>

00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:26.360 align:center
<i>"She turns around herself."</i>

00:16:28.840 --> 00:16:30.560 align:center
Loved it!

00:16:30.640 --> 00:16:31.720 align:center
Lovely comment.

00:16:31.800 --> 00:16:32.920 align:center
<i>More comments.</i>

00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:34.160 align:center
This doesn't come on my…

00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:37.440 align:center
You will get it now.
Because you are following me now.

00:16:37.520 --> 00:16:40.080 align:center
"Are you really three or am I too drunk?"

00:16:41.400 --> 00:16:43.360 align:center
This should be my dialogue.

00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:47.520 align:center
More comments.

00:16:49.680 --> 00:16:50.520 align:center
Kareena's post.

00:16:50.600 --> 00:16:53.440 align:center
"Sorry, was too busy enjoying my day."

00:16:53.520 --> 00:16:54.640 align:center
Scroll down.

00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:57.520 align:center
"Your photo reminded me of my dad."

00:16:57.600 --> 00:16:59.880 align:center
"He used to say,
'Kids are like musical instruments.'"

00:16:59.960 --> 00:17:02.440 align:center
<i>"They need regular tuning</i>
<i>by twisting their ears."</i>

00:17:03.040 --> 00:17:05.120 align:center
So sweet! I like that.

00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:07.160 align:center
- It's true, sir?
- No, but the tuning.

00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:10.560 align:center
- Twisting ears.
- Did your dad twist your ears?

00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:14.079 align:center
I wish he only did that.

00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:17.480 align:center
He has hit me with a belt. Yes.

00:17:17.560 --> 00:17:18.760 align:center
I was quite naughty though.

00:17:18.839 --> 00:17:20.720 align:center
Do you hit your children?

00:17:20.800 --> 00:17:21.880 align:center
- No.
- No.

00:17:21.960 --> 00:17:23.640 align:center
- Why so?
- They learn in their school,

00:17:23.720 --> 00:17:25.119 align:center
and they say,

00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:27.599 align:center
they will complain.

00:17:28.440 --> 00:17:30.400 align:center
My body, my this!

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:32.560 align:center
- You can't touch me.
- My life, my rules.

00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:36.240 align:center
Has your mom ever hit you?
She's over there.

00:17:36.320 --> 00:17:37.840 align:center
Mom did hit me once.

00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:40.320 align:center
On Lohri, there was a ₹5 note lying there.

00:17:41.240 --> 00:17:43.800 align:center
There was a bonfire
and I thought it was a piece of paper.

00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:45.920 align:center
- So, I threw it in fire.
- No!

00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.240 align:center
I wasted ₹5 but mom hit me worth ₹250.

00:17:51.280 --> 00:17:54.080 align:center
I am talking about '88, '89.

00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:55.600 align:center
Maybe ₹5 were a lot back then.

00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:58.680 align:center
Then I earned a lot of money for Mom.

00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:02.840 align:center
By the way, my mom is a big fan of yours.

00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:05.120 align:center
Mom sees very few movies in the theatre.

00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:06.600 align:center
- Where's your mom?
- She's here.

00:18:07.840 --> 00:18:10.680 align:center
She was discharged from the hospital
three days ago. She was ill.

00:18:10.760 --> 00:18:13.000 align:center
She came to the show only for you.

00:18:13.080 --> 00:18:14.640 align:center
Very sweet! Thank you so much!

00:18:15.520 --> 00:18:17.440 align:center
Mom, touch and see. It's Kareena Kapoor.

00:18:19.080 --> 00:18:20.640 align:center
Don't wash your hand today.

00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:22.320 align:center
She's very sweet!

00:18:23.400 --> 00:18:24.760 align:center
Shall we sit?

00:18:24.840 --> 00:18:26.320 align:center
- Please.
- My feet hurt.

00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:27.520 align:center
Oh, sorry. Please sit.

00:18:27.600 --> 00:18:30.280 align:center
- Is this hospitality?
- We've been standing for half an hour.

00:18:30.360 --> 00:18:32.960 align:center
I was enjoying it so much… I forgot…

00:18:33.040 --> 00:18:35.360 align:center
Sorry, we have sofas. Please sit.

00:18:41.120 --> 00:18:42.720 align:center
More comments.

00:18:42.800 --> 00:18:44.960 align:center
<i>I don't know what this means.</i>
<i>What's "couture"?</i>

00:18:45.040 --> 00:18:47.560 align:center
- Couture!
- Couture?

00:18:47.640 --> 00:18:49.280 align:center
- Kareena!
- The clothes you haven't worn.

00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:52.280 align:center
I genuinely want to know.

00:18:52.360 --> 00:18:53.480 align:center
Designer…

00:18:53.560 --> 00:18:54.960 align:center
- High fashion.
- High fashion.

00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:56.360 align:center
I see!

00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:57.400 align:center
There are so many things

00:18:57.480 --> 00:18:59.000 align:center
- we have learnt from Kareena.
- Like your shoes.

00:18:59.080 --> 00:19:00.560 align:center
- Oh, thanks. This is?
- Like that!

00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:02.320 align:center
This is couture.

00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:04.160 align:center
Oh, who brought my couture for me?

00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:06.880 align:center
Show the comments.

00:19:08.360 --> 00:19:11.320 align:center
"I was also pestering my dad for shoes."

00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:14.440 align:center
<i>"He said, 'People will give it to you</i>
<i>if you have talent.'"</i>

00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:18.680 align:center
"Follow me for such funny jokes."

00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:23.560 align:center
He is assuming that it was a joke, wow!
More comments.

00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:27.400 align:center
<i>"Maybe, her</i> kajal <i>was expiring.</i>
<i>So, she applied it all."</i>

00:19:28.600 --> 00:19:29.840 align:center
I love applying <i>kajal.</i>

00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.880 align:center
- I have put it on today also.
- It looks good too.

00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:35.960 align:center
When we were dating,

00:19:36.040 --> 00:19:39.000 align:center
I would ask her
if she hadn't applied a little too much.

00:19:39.080 --> 00:19:41.000 align:center
She said that she doesn't know
how to apply makeup.

00:19:41.080 --> 00:19:43.640 align:center
She looked so beautiful.

00:19:43.720 --> 00:19:45.560 align:center
She said someone else applied the makeup.

00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:47.200 align:center
- Oh, gosh!
- Applying it herself,

00:19:47.280 --> 00:19:49.760 align:center
- she learnt it later.
- I've learnt over the years.

00:19:49.840 --> 00:19:53.120 align:center
- That's also an art.
- Yeah, of course! Learning to…

00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:56.120 align:center
But you are among the very few ones
who look great without makeup.

00:19:56.200 --> 00:19:57.840 align:center
- This is true!
- True.

00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.520 align:center
- Kapil said that, not you.
- I also said it.

00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:04.040 align:center
- If…
- You are making us fight.

00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:07.240 align:center
Nice, Kapil! But why?

00:20:07.320 --> 00:20:10.400 align:center
It's scary to comment on a woman
in front of her husband.

00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:13.360 align:center
You don't get scared.
Since when did you start getting scared?

00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:15.320 align:center
Absolutely.

00:20:16.280 --> 00:20:17.120 align:center
It's okay.

00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:21.000 align:center
Kareena and Saif sir have come separately
on our show. Today, they've come together.

00:20:21.080 --> 00:20:23.560 align:center
So, I cancelled a lot of questions myself.

00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:24.760 align:center
No, not to ask these.

00:20:25.600 --> 00:20:26.920 align:center
More comments.

00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:28.840 align:center
Over?

00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:30.800 align:center
Thank you!

00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:37.320 align:center
Nowadays, people also roast each other
on social media.

00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:41.440 align:center
We don't know how to roast you both,
you are so lovely.

00:20:41.520 --> 00:20:43.240 align:center
But you are a couple,

00:20:43.320 --> 00:20:45.920 align:center
so no one can know better than each other.

00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.000 align:center
Kareena, if you want to roast Saif sir,

00:20:48.080 --> 00:20:50.600 align:center
use the show as an excuse
and get it all out.

00:20:52.200 --> 00:20:55.200 align:center
- You start…
- He turns people against each other.

00:20:55.280 --> 00:20:56.560 align:center
…we can see which level we are on.

00:20:58.320 --> 00:21:01.360 align:center
Why do women take so long to get ready?

00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:02.920 align:center
No, Saif takes longer.

00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:04.400 align:center
I'm ready in 10 minutes.

00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:07.640 align:center
Saif takes at least one hour.

00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:08.960 align:center
No! It's not true.

00:21:09.040 --> 00:21:12.240 align:center
- Fine, ask Naina. She's sitting there.
- What would Naina know?

00:21:12.320 --> 00:21:14.880 align:center
How many times
have you changed outfits today?

00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:16.640 align:center
"I don't get ready in front of Naina."

00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:18.720 align:center
Hey, I change my outfit

00:21:18.800 --> 00:21:19.840 align:center
- because you say…
- Three times.

00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:21.640 align:center
No, you say, "I'm wearing red."

00:21:21.720 --> 00:21:23.200 align:center
"No, no! What's my color?"

00:21:23.280 --> 00:21:25.960 align:center
No! He redid his hair and makeup
three times today.

00:21:26.040 --> 00:21:27.680 align:center
- Changed outfits thrice.
- Who takes longer to shower?

00:21:27.760 --> 00:21:29.640 align:center
She spends half an hour in the shower!

00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:33.600 align:center
I keep telling her we have
a water shortage in Mumbai… in India.

00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:37.280 align:center
She takes a hot shower for half an hour,
and the water runs out.

00:21:37.360 --> 00:21:39.000 align:center
So what? I want to feel clean.

00:21:39.080 --> 00:21:42.080 align:center
- There's a limit! You need to hurry up.
- For you!

00:21:43.360 --> 00:21:48.000 align:center
Genuinely, I take 10 minutes, Kapil,
and Saif takes at least 45 minutes.

00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:51.360 align:center
Okay, I do take a little time.
I keep thinking, "There's this… that…"

00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:53.320 align:center
"Should I wear this shirt?
What about my hair?"

00:21:53.400 --> 00:21:55.480 align:center
Actors take forever these days.

00:21:56.560 --> 00:21:57.920 align:center
To get ready.

00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:00.680 align:center
Her whole personality changes, you know?

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:03.160 align:center
At least three times a day.

00:22:03.240 --> 00:22:05.480 align:center
One morning, she says,

00:22:05.560 --> 00:22:08.080 align:center
"You need to
have a serious talk with Taimur."

00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:10.000 align:center
"Because he's not focusing
on his studies."

00:22:10.080 --> 00:22:11.160 align:center
So that evening, I talk to him.

00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:13.960 align:center
"Listen, Taimur, I have to talk to you.
You need to focus more on your studies."

00:22:14.040 --> 00:22:16.680 align:center
- "This is…" But then she says…
- Focuses on sports more.

00:22:16.760 --> 00:22:20.400 align:center
"No, no. He's fine. He works really hard.
Why are you scolding him?"

00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:25.360 align:center
I'm looking at her like, "Wait, what?"

00:22:27.280 --> 00:22:29.440 align:center
But she tells you
to keep an eye on Taimur's studies.

00:22:29.520 --> 00:22:30.800 align:center
Were you good at school?

00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:34.320 align:center
If I were that good at studying,
would I be in the film industry?

00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:37.000 align:center
Hello?

00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:40.640 align:center
- Sorry, that's a big insult.
- What do you mean?

00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:41.800 align:center
- Yes.
- Why? How far did you study?

00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:43.160 align:center
No, I…

00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:46.640 align:center
It's not that. But I feel…

00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:49.640 align:center
- We all…
- …times were different.

00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:52.440 align:center
Back then, a lot of us actors, you know,

00:22:52.520 --> 00:22:54.200 align:center
we'd finish grade 10
and join the film industry.

00:22:54.280 --> 00:22:56.760 align:center
You were so young. I think you were 18
or 19 when <i>Refugee</i> came out.

00:22:56.840 --> 00:23:00.040 align:center
- I was 17. Karisma was only 15.
- Actually!

00:23:00.120 --> 00:23:02.720 align:center
- Things are different now.
- It's nice that you don't have to be…

00:23:02.800 --> 00:23:04.880 align:center
- What? No.
- …university graduate to be an actor.

00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:06.800 align:center
- It's very important.
- I feel a sense of belonging.

00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:09.000 align:center
Sachin Tendulkar only finished 10th grade.

00:23:09.080 --> 00:23:10.560 align:center
He still outdid the entire world!

00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:11.840 align:center
- Look at that!
- Come on, man!

00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:13.320 align:center
Fire!

00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:17.320 align:center
I'm glad my kids aren't seeing this.

00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:21.080 align:center
Exactly! I was just thinking,
thank God Tim's not watching this.

00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:24.720 align:center
Otherwise, next time he'll say,
"I want to be like Sachin Tendulkar!"

00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:28.920 align:center
Listening to him, I too…

00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:31.400 align:center
He can be like Sachin Tendulkar,
but as a cricketer!

00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:34.800 align:center
Kareena, if Saif hadn't become an actor,
could he have been a cricketer?

00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:35.920 align:center
I think, amazing!

00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:37.760 align:center
- What?
- Then my career

00:23:37.840 --> 00:23:39.400 align:center
would've ended 20 years ago.

00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:42.360 align:center
True! Actually.

00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:48.000 align:center
I wish my… and I hope and I wish that
one of my sons becomes a cricketer.

00:23:48.080 --> 00:23:49.520 align:center
- That's entirely possible.
- Could be!

00:23:49.600 --> 00:23:51.560 align:center
Did you enjoy fielding, Sidhu <i>sahab?</i>

00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:54.320 align:center
Well, that's quite a story.

00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:56.600 align:center
I mean, the way
you were fielding for Malaika, I thought…

00:23:57.640 --> 00:23:59.440 align:center
No, I was just… Look…

00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:04.320 align:center
Look… How do I explain

00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:07.240 align:center
whether I'm fielding for Malaika
or she's fielding for me?

00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:08.600 align:center
It's a secret.

00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:13.440 align:center
Malaika, did you hear that?

00:24:14.080 --> 00:24:17.960 align:center
My bond with Malaika madam is spiritual.
Purely spiritual.

00:24:18.080 --> 00:24:20.440 align:center
Oh, God! Spiritual.

00:24:20.520 --> 00:24:22.120 align:center
- I see!
- Do you understand?

00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:24.200 align:center
But, Bebo, you are
a very good friend of Malaika.

00:24:24.280 --> 00:24:26.480 align:center
- So, you can ask her.
- I will be asking her!

00:24:26.560 --> 00:24:28.480 align:center
"What is this? What's happening, dude?"

00:24:28.560 --> 00:24:30.920 align:center
What did she say? She's your friend.
Surely she's told you.

00:24:31.760 --> 00:24:34.560 align:center
- No, she hasn't…
- She never mentioned it!

00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:36.040 align:center
- She hasn't mentioned it.
- Oh, my!

00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:39.400 align:center
Sir, you don't go around
mentioning things like that!

00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:44.080 align:center
The moment I asked Kareena
whether Malaika had told you,

00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:45.520 align:center
did you see Sidhu sir's expression?

00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:49.440 align:center
He thought she might spill something!

00:24:49.520 --> 00:24:50.760 align:center
Nice, kid.

00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:56.200 align:center
Saif sir, what are two things
you still have to call Kareena out on?

00:24:56.280 --> 00:24:57.560 align:center
Call out on?

00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.720 align:center
- As if I'd have the guts.
- Take Saif, for example.

00:25:00.800 --> 00:25:01.680 align:center
Saif sir is so handsome.

00:25:01.760 --> 00:25:04.680 align:center
- Yes.
- He's smart and a successful actor.

00:25:04.760 --> 00:25:06.320 align:center
And yet,
wives say the most unexpected things.

00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:08.080 align:center
"Oh, he snores so loudly!" Right?

00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:11.720 align:center
Oh, I forgot to ask. Does he snore?

00:25:12.320 --> 00:25:14.080 align:center
Yes, definitely. Sometimes.

00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:15.160 align:center
And what do you do?

00:25:18.840 --> 00:25:21.000 align:center
And then, I am always like…

00:25:21.080 --> 00:25:22.960 align:center
- "Saif!"
- No, I think it's more like this.

00:25:23.040 --> 00:25:24.240 align:center
She kicks you?

00:25:24.320 --> 00:25:28.200 align:center
- But you actually snore quite cutely too.
- "Saifu! Saifu!"

00:25:28.280 --> 00:25:30.360 align:center
- Oh, really?
- I even recorded you once.

00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:31.920 align:center
- What?
- And I thought…

00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.200 align:center
I couldn't believe
this was actually Kareena Kapoor!

00:25:39.960 --> 00:25:42.240 align:center
Sometimes your nose gets blocked.
What can you do?

00:25:42.320 --> 00:25:43.840 align:center
- Yeah!
- Right.

00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:45.720 align:center
Okay, now tell us two things about her.

00:25:45.800 --> 00:25:47.960 align:center
I've already mentioned
the water running out.

00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:51.360 align:center
He takes forever!

00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:54.480 align:center
You took your sweet time too
when he proposed to you!

00:25:55.480 --> 00:26:00.520 align:center
Yeah. Actually, he proposed in Mumbai,
in Greece, and in Paris.

00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:02.000 align:center
Only then did I finally say yes!

00:26:05.880 --> 00:26:08.440 align:center
If you'd said yes in Mumbai,
I would've saved a fortune!

00:26:10.320 --> 00:26:13.160 align:center
Who's worse
when it comes to spending money?

00:26:13.240 --> 00:26:14.440 align:center
Who's the bigger spender?

00:26:16.480 --> 00:26:18.040 align:center
- Yeah?
- Saif!

00:26:18.600 --> 00:26:19.760 align:center
Saif!

00:26:19.840 --> 00:26:21.800 align:center
Not at all. No.

00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:25.400 align:center
Come on! Please. The way you confess it
after you've done it!

00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:26.640 align:center
"Oh, no, I've done it again!"

00:26:27.360 --> 00:26:29.160 align:center
And then comes the regret.

00:26:29.240 --> 00:26:30.920 align:center
- "Why did I do that?"
- "Why did I do that?"

00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:32.360 align:center
- It's like a sickness.
- You buy them first.

00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:36.360 align:center
You buy them, and then you can't stop.
It's just bag after bag after bag!

00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:39.000 align:center
Half the time, there's nothing inside.
They're just holding them for no reason.

00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:42.480 align:center
So I checked, "Ginni, what's in here?"
There was just one lip gloss.

00:26:44.560 --> 00:26:47.040 align:center
Which of you
loses your temper more easily?

00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:51.680 align:center
I get angry quickly,
but I get over it just as quickly.

00:26:51.760 --> 00:26:55.280 align:center
- Yeah, but Saif's anger is very lovable.
- When she loses it, everyone gets scared!

00:26:57.800 --> 00:26:59.960 align:center
Who goes to the parent-teacher meetings?

00:27:00.040 --> 00:27:02.120 align:center
I've got four kids at the school.

00:27:04.360 --> 00:27:05.600 align:center
All different ages.

00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:08.520 align:center
I was 20 when I attended
my first PTA meeting.

00:27:08.600 --> 00:27:10.000 align:center
Then 30…

00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.800 align:center
Then at 55, I'm in the same school.

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:17.040 align:center
The teachers there have changed…

00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:19.760 align:center
but I'm still around!

00:27:19.840 --> 00:27:21.400 align:center
And Jeh is yet to go!

00:27:21.480 --> 00:27:23.280 align:center
Nita <i>ji</i> called me

00:27:23.360 --> 00:27:25.320 align:center
her longest-standing student on stage!

00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:28.280 align:center
- He was actually a student!
- Student!

00:27:30.840 --> 00:27:33.800 align:center
That's a blessing, sir. God's grace.
You've had a child in every decade!

00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:36.600 align:center
That's definitely not normal!

00:27:37.360 --> 00:27:38.680 align:center
- Saifu!
- Yes?

00:27:38.760 --> 00:27:41.120 align:center
You've had a child in each decade!
What's next, then?

00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:43.800 align:center
Huh?

00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:46.040 align:center
We're about to enter another decade soon.

00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:48.160 align:center
We are. But not with me.

00:27:51.480 --> 00:27:54.160 align:center
No, not with me.
I am not gonna have another baby.

00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:56.120 align:center
I can't also. I am saying…

00:27:57.280 --> 00:28:00.320 align:center
The kids want you to play with them,

00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:02.000 align:center
do somersaults, play football,
and all that.

00:28:03.120 --> 00:28:05.400 align:center
Back when Sara was at school,

00:28:05.480 --> 00:28:07.240 align:center
I was the youngest dad there.

00:28:07.800 --> 00:28:09.920 align:center
- They'd have father-son races!
- Now…

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:11.520 align:center
- Yeah, your were 20.
- I would beat them all!

00:28:11.600 --> 00:28:14.280 align:center
Now they're thinking
it'll become grandfathers' race!

00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:21.440 align:center
I have to say, on sports day,

00:28:21.520 --> 00:28:23.160 align:center
Saif was in Tim's race…

00:28:23.240 --> 00:28:26.000 align:center
All the other dads were between 30 and 35.

00:28:26.080 --> 00:28:29.160 align:center
I am kidding you not.
I am genuinely telling you.

00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:32.960 align:center
He was the fastest and the fittest father.

00:28:33.040 --> 00:28:36.040 align:center
- Wow!
- At 55!

00:28:36.120 --> 00:28:38.600 align:center
- I'm a fast runner.
- Yeah.

00:28:39.800 --> 00:28:42.640 align:center
But listen, you were saying
Saif loses his temper quickly,

00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:44.400 align:center
and you're the calmer one.

00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:45.760 align:center
But if someone gets angry,

00:28:45.840 --> 00:28:48.160 align:center
who says sorry first
if there is some kind of a tiff?

00:28:48.760 --> 00:28:50.880 align:center
Once she said sorry.

00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:52.480 align:center
- Once?
- Once.

00:28:52.560 --> 00:28:54.000 align:center
- Bebo, well done.
- Yeah, just recently.

00:28:54.080 --> 00:28:56.640 align:center
You know, after the Taimur thing…
When you said, "Speak to him."

00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:59.240 align:center
- You said sorry.
- But generally because it's not my fault.

00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:04.360 align:center
Listen, it's something else!

00:29:04.440 --> 00:29:05.760 align:center
After Dharam <i>paaji…</i>

00:29:05.840 --> 00:29:07.800 align:center
I'm saying it straight from the heart.

00:29:07.880 --> 00:29:10.760 align:center
After Dharam <i>paaji</i>,
if there's anyone in this industry

00:29:10.840 --> 00:29:13.880 align:center
who looks like a handsome Hulk Hogan,
it's you, sir.

00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:16.160 align:center
- It's you!
- Me?

00:29:16.800 --> 00:29:17.840 align:center
Saifu…

00:29:18.040 --> 00:29:19.520 align:center
I thought you were gonna say…

00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:21.480 align:center
You, you, you!

00:29:21.560 --> 00:29:23.520 align:center
There are plenty of
handsome men out there!

00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:25.640 align:center
- No, sir.
- Sir, honestly,

00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:28.120 align:center
I can't believe I've made it this far.

00:29:28.200 --> 00:29:30.040 align:center
My parents used to wonder,
"What's going to become of him?"

00:29:30.120 --> 00:29:31.800 align:center
Even I wondered what I'd do with my life.

00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:33.520 align:center
I don't think I… this…

00:29:33.600 --> 00:29:36.640 align:center
Whatever I have today,
whatever I've achieved,

00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:38.200 align:center
it's all because of you.

00:29:39.440 --> 00:29:41.040 align:center
It's still hard to believe!

00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:43.240 align:center
Dharam <i>ji</i> was mind blowing.

00:29:43.320 --> 00:29:44.320 align:center
I'll tell you something.

00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:47.720 align:center
My mother was unwell recently
and had surgery.

00:29:47.800 --> 00:29:49.360 align:center
It was her birthday,
and she was in the hospital.

00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:51.600 align:center
To cheer her up, one of her friends

00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:54.960 align:center
showed her one of Dharam <i>ji's</i> film,
I think, <i>Chupke Chupke.</i>

00:29:55.640 --> 00:29:57.120 align:center
So she called Dharam <i>ji.</i>

00:29:57.200 --> 00:30:00.360 align:center
"Dharam, I am watching your film.
You are so handsome."

00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:02.000 align:center
Unbelievable!

00:30:02.080 --> 00:30:03.280 align:center
And Dharam <i>ji</i> goes,

00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:04.880 align:center
"It's because I am looking at you."

00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:09.400 align:center
- Wow! That's amazing!
- He was a charmer.

00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:11.480 align:center
- He was a pure soul.
- Yeah.

00:30:11.560 --> 00:30:12.760 align:center
My mother always used to say,

00:30:12.840 --> 00:30:15.400 align:center
- he's the most handsome person, ever.
- No doubt about it.

00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:17.760 align:center
I'll you something, sir.
I don't know if I've told you this,

00:30:17.840 --> 00:30:19.440 align:center
but I've only ever bought
two posters in my life.

00:30:20.080 --> 00:30:22.480 align:center
During Diwali, in Amritsar,

00:30:22.560 --> 00:30:25.680 align:center
you know those firecracker stalls
set up on cots?

00:30:25.760 --> 00:30:27.960 align:center
They sell posters too.
Mom, do you remember?

00:30:28.040 --> 00:30:30.480 align:center
Our house in B Block
had peeling paint everywhere.

00:30:30.560 --> 00:30:33.480 align:center
I thought repainting the walls
would cost a fortune.

00:30:33.560 --> 00:30:36.280 align:center
So I bought two posters instead.
One of Divya Bharti and one of you.

00:30:36.360 --> 00:30:40.280 align:center
So we put them up there.
You were clean-shaven and had long hair.

00:30:40.360 --> 00:30:42.320 align:center
This was around the time
<i>Pehchaan</i> came out.

00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:44.160 align:center
- You remember your movie?
- Of course, I remember.

00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:46.520 align:center
Then "Ole Ole" came out,
and you kept us busy for six whole months!

00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:49.760 align:center
We spent six months trying
to figure out the moves.

00:31:19.360 --> 00:31:20.360 align:center
He's fallen hard!

00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:29.200 align:center
Altaf!

00:31:30.360 --> 00:31:33.440 align:center
This is the comedy show
I told you I'd bring you to!

00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:37.760 align:center
If you find anything funny, laugh.

00:31:37.840 --> 00:31:39.560 align:center
Just don't laugh too loudly.

00:31:40.560 --> 00:31:42.360 align:center
See that lady?

00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:50.640 align:center
If that lady gets jealous,
you're finished! Yeah!

00:31:51.560 --> 00:31:52.880 align:center
What, the poetry?

00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:54.600 align:center
Don't worry about that.

00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:57.000 align:center
Sidhu <i>ji</i> will take care of that.

00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:03.480 align:center
What?

00:32:11.600 --> 00:32:14.520 align:center
Who have I not turned around for?

00:32:17.800 --> 00:32:19.080 align:center
Seriously? It's Poo?

00:32:20.840 --> 00:32:23.800 align:center
<i>Mashallah,</i> how wonderful!

00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:25.880 align:center
Hello, hello!

00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:28.240 align:center
Look at you! Absolutely gorgeous!

00:32:28.320 --> 00:32:31.960 align:center
Should I call you Poo,
call you beautiful, call you glamorous?

00:32:32.040 --> 00:32:33.920 align:center
What exactly should I call you? My God!

00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:36.640 align:center
Just call her madam.
Can't you see her husband's right there?

00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:38.680 align:center
Oh, no. <i>Mashallah,</i> how wonderful!

00:32:38.760 --> 00:32:41.280 align:center
A huge round of applause
for the most handsome hero!

00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:43.880 align:center
<i>Mashallah!</i>

00:32:45.920 --> 00:32:50.480 align:center
We had Shakira and Jennifer Lopez
over in Dubai recently.

00:32:51.120 --> 00:32:52.600 align:center
They kept talking about him.

00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:56.000 align:center
- What were they saying?
- They kept saying, "Dubai's safe!"

00:32:59.360 --> 00:33:02.160 align:center
I'm telling you the truth, from the heart.
I'm a huge fan of yours!

00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:04.200 align:center
You were incredible in <i>Omkara!</i>

00:33:04.920 --> 00:33:06.400 align:center
<i>Dil Chahta Hai…</i>

00:33:06.800 --> 00:33:09.560 align:center
I'm genuinely such a huge fan of yours.

00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:11.160 align:center
Your film <i>Haiwaan</i> came out recently.

00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:20.360 align:center
And I've already watched it four times!
That's how big a fan I am!

00:33:22.280 --> 00:33:24.760 align:center
- I really liked something in that film.
- What?

00:33:24.840 --> 00:33:26.120 align:center
Interval.

00:33:31.800 --> 00:33:33.400 align:center
One minute, one minute.

00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:35.760 align:center
- Oh, no!
- I'll show you, wait.

00:33:35.840 --> 00:33:37.000 align:center
What's this? Bangles?

00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:40.680 align:center
- What's this?
- How does it look?

00:33:42.800 --> 00:33:43.800 align:center
Why are you showing it to them?

00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:48.360 align:center
Someone said
I'd be meeting Kareena and Saif.

00:33:48.440 --> 00:33:51.320 align:center
It wouldn't look good
to go empty-handed, so I…

00:33:52.120 --> 00:33:53.200 align:center
How do you like it?

00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:57.760 align:center
- Is it nice? Oh, my God!
- It's very nice!

00:33:58.360 --> 00:34:00.280 align:center
Still wearing the bangles
from the last episode?

00:34:00.360 --> 00:34:02.480 align:center
I've kept them on for this episode!

00:34:05.360 --> 00:34:07.760 align:center
Kareena <i>ji</i>,
I've brought something for you.

00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:10.520 align:center
- It's a gift for you!
- What's this?

00:34:10.600 --> 00:34:12.760 align:center
I watched <i>Jab We Met</i>,

00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:14.080 align:center
where you said,

00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:17.120 align:center
"Don't give me a lecture.
I don't have any loose change!"

00:34:18.280 --> 00:34:21.199 align:center
- So, that's why.
- I don't have any loose change!

00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:25.560 align:center
No, let me tell you the reason.

00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:27.880 align:center
Here, every 15 minutes,

00:34:27.960 --> 00:34:30.440 align:center
Sidhu <i>ji</i> gives us a lecture, so…

00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:34.280 align:center
I thought you might run out of change!

00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:37.320 align:center
What happened?

00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:42.040 align:center
My camel's licking me!
What are you doing over here?

00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:45.440 align:center
I love it!

00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:47.679 align:center
- What are you doing?
- I love it!

00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:49.159 align:center
It came all the way over here.

00:34:49.239 --> 00:34:52.400 align:center
I'm in the middle of a conversation!
Stop bothering me!

00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:55.320 align:center
Saif sir, hold this for a second.
Hold this.

00:34:55.400 --> 00:34:57.080 align:center
What's your problem?
I'm talking to the guests.

00:34:58.360 --> 00:34:59.440 align:center
Hey, why are you crying?

00:35:00.120 --> 00:35:02.280 align:center
What? You're holding his tail!

00:35:03.240 --> 00:35:04.360 align:center
Go over there!

00:35:05.200 --> 00:35:06.200 align:center
Go sit over there!

00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:13.200 align:center
- What brings you here?
- Well, you see,

00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:15.040 align:center
a huge building's been built in Dubai.

00:35:15.120 --> 00:35:16.640 align:center
- Shahrukhz Building.
- I see.

00:35:16.720 --> 00:35:18.960 align:center
So, I want to build a building
for the two of you.

00:35:19.040 --> 00:35:19.960 align:center
- Is that so?
- Yeah.

00:35:20.040 --> 00:35:21.440 align:center
We'll call it

00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:22.760 align:center
the Poo Khalifa!

00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:25.280 align:center
- Poo Khalifa!
- Poo Khalifa?

00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:28.200 align:center
Poo Khalifa. People won't be able
to take their eyes off it!

00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:32.800 align:center
It'll be a high-tech building,
with windows imported from Czechoslovakia!

00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:34.440 align:center
- What's the big deal?
- These windows are special.

00:35:34.520 --> 00:35:36.120 align:center
No sound from inside gets out!

00:35:37.560 --> 00:35:39.440 align:center
You can fight as much as you like.

00:35:40.200 --> 00:35:42.960 align:center
Nobody outside will hear a thing.

00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:45.920 align:center
Why would they fight?
They're so much in love.

00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:47.800 align:center
Even the sounds of love won't get out.

00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:54.960 align:center
We're offering amazing amenities.

00:35:55.040 --> 00:35:58.480 align:center
You have a swimming pool and gymnasium.

00:35:58.560 --> 00:36:01.000 align:center
Kareena <i>ji,</i>
the gym will be something else!

00:36:01.080 --> 00:36:03.600 align:center
Saif sir, you'll work out for two days,

00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:05.000 align:center
walk outside, and everyone will say,

00:36:05.080 --> 00:36:07.200 align:center
"Look at that body!"

00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:08.400 align:center
What machine can do that?

00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:10.360 align:center
No machine! We've hired people to say it!

00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:14.520 align:center
"Look at that body!"

00:36:17.040 --> 00:36:18.920 align:center
I think they're big shots!

00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:20.320 align:center
Sir, shall I show you the building model?

00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:21.640 align:center
- Yes, yes, please!
- Yes.

00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:25.920 align:center
What did you say?

00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:40.680 align:center
I thought you meant
a model of the building!

00:36:40.760 --> 00:36:43.320 align:center
Such a big-name model is here!
She is the model.

00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:47.160 align:center
This model lives in the building.

00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:51.480 align:center
<i>Mashallah!</i> Go on.

00:36:51.560 --> 00:36:52.920 align:center
Show them your walk!

00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:54.720 align:center
Wow.

00:36:56.760 --> 00:36:57.720 align:center
Wow, nice!

00:36:58.240 --> 00:37:00.280 align:center
See those two stairs?

00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:01.920 align:center
Walk down those.
That's the end of the joke!

00:37:06.600 --> 00:37:09.040 align:center
Sir, this is no ordinary building.

00:37:09.120 --> 00:37:10.840 align:center
It's a 1,000-floor building.

00:37:10.920 --> 00:37:12.280 align:center
And there's no elevator.

00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:15.120 align:center
How do we go up?

00:37:15.200 --> 00:37:17.840 align:center
It's a horizontal building.
It lies flat on the ground.

00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:18.920 align:center
Oh, God!

00:37:21.320 --> 00:37:22.600 align:center
He's laughing himself.

00:37:23.240 --> 00:37:24.360 align:center
People…

00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:27.440 align:center
build buildings vertically.

00:37:27.520 --> 00:37:28.560 align:center
I build them horizontally.

00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:33.200 align:center
Sir, if you promote our building,
it'll really help us out.

00:37:34.440 --> 00:37:35.720 align:center
If you say this for us… Look.

00:37:36.600 --> 00:37:38.000 align:center
All you have to do is say this,
Kareena <i>ji.</i>

00:37:38.080 --> 00:37:40.000 align:center
"Bangles sing, bracelets sway,

00:37:40.560 --> 00:37:42.520 align:center
A courtyard comes with your hall today!"

00:37:45.120 --> 00:37:46.320 align:center
If you say that,

00:37:46.920 --> 00:37:48.720 align:center
we'll sell every single unit!

00:37:50.160 --> 00:37:55.000 align:center
Bangles sing, bracelets sway,
A courtyard comes with your hall today!

00:37:55.080 --> 00:37:57.840 align:center
Sold out!
We've sold every single apartment!

00:37:59.560 --> 00:38:00.960 align:center
Now you have to say,

00:38:01.520 --> 00:38:03.120 align:center
"Husband caught red-handed in the chat."

00:38:03.200 --> 00:38:05.160 align:center
Husband caught…

00:38:05.240 --> 00:38:06.600 align:center
- In chat.
- In church?

00:38:06.680 --> 00:38:07.680 align:center
Chat.

00:38:07.760 --> 00:38:09.520 align:center
- Chat.
- Okay! Husband…

00:38:09.600 --> 00:38:12.600 align:center
Husband caught red-handed in the chat.
Do drop by our flat sometime!

00:38:12.680 --> 00:38:13.800 align:center
Please say this.

00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:18.640 align:center
Husband caught red-handed in the chat.
Do drop by

00:38:18.720 --> 00:38:19.960 align:center
- Our flat sometime!
- …our flat sometime!

00:38:20.040 --> 00:38:20.880 align:center
Sold out!

00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:22.320 align:center
Brilliant!

00:38:24.520 --> 00:38:26.960 align:center
Where exactly is your building?

00:38:27.040 --> 00:38:28.960 align:center
Wherever they tell me to, I'll build it.

00:38:29.680 --> 00:38:31.440 align:center
They're the brand ambassadors.

00:38:31.520 --> 00:38:33.200 align:center
And you're the financier too.

00:38:35.520 --> 00:38:39.320 align:center
They're paying for it and promoting it.
So what exactly are you contributing?

00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:40.320 align:center
Idea.

00:38:42.200 --> 00:38:45.120 align:center
- An idea is a powerful thing.
- A very powerful thing!

00:38:45.200 --> 00:38:48.520 align:center
Twelve years ago, you didn't even
have an idea. All you had was Sidhu <i>ji</i>,

00:38:48.600 --> 00:38:49.960 align:center
and you built a whole show.

00:38:57.480 --> 00:38:59.160 align:center
Sir, should I take that as a yes?

00:38:59.800 --> 00:39:00.920 align:center
No!

00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:03.720 align:center
It's a no from them. And from us,
it's time for you to leave.

00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:08.720 align:center
Sir, is that a no from you?

00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:10.640 align:center
- Madam, you're not taking it?
- Yeah, no, no!

00:39:10.720 --> 00:39:11.760 align:center
No worries. Just a minute.

00:39:13.160 --> 00:39:14.920 align:center
Sir, at least take some dates!

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:18.280 align:center
I paid ₹400 for all this.
I'm not leaving empty-handed.

00:39:19.880 --> 00:39:22.440 align:center
You started with flats and ended up
begging with dates. What a guy!

00:39:22.520 --> 00:39:23.800 align:center
Have some puff pastry snacks.

00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:26.280 align:center
It costs just ₹150.
I'm not asking for much.

00:39:26.880 --> 00:39:27.720 align:center
Not even these?

00:39:27.800 --> 00:39:29.080 align:center
- No!
- You're being impossible!

00:39:29.160 --> 00:39:32.680 align:center
You can get your nails trimmed for ₹100.
Ma'am, I'll do something for you.

00:39:38.080 --> 00:39:39.120 align:center
I am giving you a final offer.

00:39:39.200 --> 00:39:41.240 align:center
- Yes.
- Get your ears cleaned for just ₹20!

00:39:45.400 --> 00:39:47.040 align:center
Pack up your stuff.

00:39:47.120 --> 00:39:49.320 align:center
- Get out!
- Nothing?

00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:50.240 align:center
No, no.

00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:51.920 align:center
Cold water, anyone?

00:39:53.160 --> 00:39:55.120 align:center
Who will have some cold water?

00:39:56.080 --> 00:39:56.920 align:center
I love this!

00:39:57.040 --> 00:39:59.240 align:center
Actually, I'm no sheikh or anything.

00:39:59.320 --> 00:40:02.720 align:center
I'm Bittu. I just happened to be nearby.
Then I heard Kareena and Saif were here.

00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:04.120 align:center
I thought I'd try selling them something.

00:40:04.200 --> 00:40:05.560 align:center
Some big shots, huh? Didn't buy a thing!

00:40:05.640 --> 00:40:08.120 align:center
Would you like something?
Cold coffee? Nice and cold!

00:40:10.360 --> 00:40:11.520 align:center
You don't want? Hello?

00:40:14.240 --> 00:40:15.880 align:center
That was brilliant! Brilliant.

00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:20.200 align:center
We've come up with a little game.
Here, I've got two boards for you.

00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:22.600 align:center
These are labeled "Romantic" and "Cringe."

00:40:22.680 --> 00:40:25.800 align:center
You'll have to hold these up and tell us

00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:27.800 align:center
which things are romantic
and which are just cringe.

00:40:29.040 --> 00:40:32.640 align:center
A lot of couples dress alike
when they go to parties

00:40:32.720 --> 00:40:34.560 align:center
or special occasions.

00:40:36.080 --> 00:40:36.920 align:center
Do you think…

00:40:39.680 --> 00:40:40.560 align:center
What did you…

00:40:40.640 --> 00:40:42.720 align:center
I'd say, don't make your kids
wear matching outfits either.

00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:44.240 align:center
- Oh, yeah!
- But why?

00:40:44.320 --> 00:40:48.200 align:center
I think kids should dress in a way
that reflects their own personalities.

00:40:48.280 --> 00:40:49.920 align:center
- Yes.
- Their personality should shine through.

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:53.440 align:center
We should be able to express our

00:40:53.520 --> 00:40:55.520 align:center
- individual personalities too.
- Okay, cringe.

00:40:55.600 --> 00:40:57.040 align:center
- Okay.
- Very cringe.

00:40:57.120 --> 00:40:57.960 align:center
These days…

00:40:58.040 --> 00:41:01.600 align:center
Posting your partner's photo
on social media to wish them,

00:41:01.680 --> 00:41:02.960 align:center
is it romantic or cringe?

00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:06.120 align:center
I'm stuck here now.

00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:11.400 align:center
Sometimes she taunts me, saying,
"Look at what he's saying about his wife."

00:41:12.600 --> 00:41:14.920 align:center
What has Vicky written about Katrina?

00:41:15.560 --> 00:41:18.000 align:center
Lovely poem, a flowery, long thing…

00:41:18.120 --> 00:41:19.720 align:center
Do I need to write that now?

00:41:19.800 --> 00:41:21.240 align:center
Of course.

00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:23.600 align:center
I think writing a lot in public is cringe.

00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:30.480 align:center
I think it's quite romantic.

00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:31.600 align:center
Okay…

00:41:31.680 --> 00:41:36.120 align:center
Getting a tattoo of your partner's name,
is it romantic or cringe?

00:41:41.480 --> 00:41:42.520 align:center
Depends on where you get it.

00:41:42.600 --> 00:41:44.880 align:center
- Now you've done it.
- Yes, I did.

00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:47.560 align:center
- I'm very happy. I love my tattoo.
- Then?

00:41:48.120 --> 00:41:51.960 align:center
Calling your partner cute nicknames
like baby, sweetheart,

00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:53.880 align:center
or darling in front of everyone,

00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:55.520 align:center
is it romantic or cringe?

00:41:55.600 --> 00:41:59.560 align:center
I don't know. It's romantic if you use
the same nickname at home too.

00:41:59.640 --> 00:42:01.200 align:center
- I suppose… No? I don't know.
- Yeah.

00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:03.800 align:center
- It's a little cringe. Cringe, romantic.
- Yeah. Cringe.

00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:06.560 align:center
- Cringe?
- What does Bebo call you at home?

00:42:06.640 --> 00:42:09.680 align:center
- Saif. Saifu
- Saifu.

00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:11.880 align:center
I call her "K."

00:42:11.960 --> 00:42:13.400 align:center
- I call her "K." mostly.
- "K…"

00:42:13.480 --> 00:42:17.680 align:center
Okay. I cannot believe this,

00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:19.880 align:center
but I think it happens.
That is why it is written here.

00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:23.400 align:center
Using baby talk with your partner,

00:42:23.480 --> 00:42:26.040 align:center
like "What is my baby doing?"

00:42:26.120 --> 00:42:29.120 align:center
- "What are you doing?"
- No!

00:42:29.200 --> 00:42:31.440 align:center
- In a way…
- Does that happen?

00:42:31.520 --> 00:42:32.400 align:center
It's not that bad.

00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:34.400 align:center
- A bit of baby talk is nice.
- No.

00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:37.320 align:center
- No.
- No… No…

00:42:37.400 --> 00:42:40.120 align:center
Have you ever spoken
to your wife like that?

00:42:40.200 --> 00:42:41.200 align:center
No.

00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:44.120 align:center
Did my baby eat?

00:42:45.280 --> 00:42:48.560 align:center
Sir, you're now a <i>dada.</i> I'm sure
you would speak like that to the kid.

00:42:48.640 --> 00:42:50.640 align:center
Of course. Everyone does it.

00:42:50.720 --> 00:42:53.360 align:center
That's the end of this conversation.
Thank you.

00:42:56.720 --> 00:42:59.400 align:center
We have a beautiful couple with us here.

00:43:00.080 --> 00:43:02.720 align:center
We are having fun and are roasting too.

00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:08.720 align:center
Saif sir, you know, husbands wish
that their wives always listen to them.

00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:10.760 align:center
So, they try to implement schemes.

00:43:11.360 --> 00:43:13.960 align:center
Many of them do superstitious rituals too.

00:43:14.040 --> 00:43:16.240 align:center
- Magic?
- Yes.

00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:17.520 align:center
- Yes?
- They say…

00:43:17.600 --> 00:43:18.960 align:center
They wrap something in betel leaves.

00:43:19.040 --> 00:43:20.320 align:center
"Wrap in betel leaves!"

00:43:22.120 --> 00:43:25.280 align:center
Is there anyone among you

00:43:26.080 --> 00:43:29.600 align:center
where the wife,
in order to make her husband loyal,

00:43:29.680 --> 00:43:31.280 align:center
- does something…
- Did you see that horror movie?

00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:32.480 align:center
- Which one?
<i>- Obsession?</i>

00:43:32.560 --> 00:43:34.480 align:center
- Yeah!
- It's the same story.

00:43:34.560 --> 00:43:35.720 align:center
Right.

00:43:35.800 --> 00:43:38.200 align:center
I do not want my wife to be that obedient.

00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:39.640 align:center
Right.

00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:44.880 align:center
Is there anyone here
who has enchanted someone?

00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:47.240 align:center
- Please come forward. Yes, madam.
- Wow.

00:43:47.320 --> 00:43:49.600 align:center
- Hello. buddy.
- Your chant… I mean enchantment…,

00:43:49.680 --> 00:43:50.520 align:center
It was a success.

00:43:52.360 --> 00:43:54.480 align:center
- You got your husband.
- What's that? "Chant?"

00:43:54.560 --> 00:43:56.720 align:center
Why did you say "chant"?

00:43:57.760 --> 00:43:59.800 align:center
I want to share something.

00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:02.960 align:center
Wives normally do superstitious remedies
after marriage,

00:44:03.040 --> 00:44:04.480 align:center
while I used them before that.

00:44:04.560 --> 00:44:05.600 align:center
What?

00:44:05.680 --> 00:44:08.160 align:center
- After marriage?
- Yes.

00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:12.520 align:center
One of my friends

00:44:12.600 --> 00:44:15.960 align:center
had gifted me a saree
and said that it's very lucky.

00:44:16.040 --> 00:44:18.560 align:center
She told me to wear that saree
whenever a potential groom came to see me.

00:44:18.640 --> 00:44:21.600 align:center
It would make sure
the guy would always be under my control.

00:44:21.680 --> 00:44:26.720 align:center
So, when he came to meet me, I wore that
and he obeys me since then.

00:44:29.400 --> 00:44:30.760 align:center
Wow!

00:44:32.920 --> 00:44:34.360 align:center
- What is your name?
- Vasudev.

00:44:34.440 --> 00:44:36.080 align:center
Vasudev sir, tell me one thing.

00:44:36.160 --> 00:44:38.080 align:center
The saree that madam mentioned…

00:44:38.160 --> 00:44:39.760 align:center
I got to know about it later.

00:44:40.280 --> 00:44:42.760 align:center
- What?
- About what she did.

00:44:42.840 --> 00:44:45.800 align:center
What special did you find in that saree
that made you obey her always?

00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:47.720 align:center
I don't know. I still obey her.

00:44:49.480 --> 00:44:51.760 align:center
So, it means that saree
does not have any magical effect.

00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:53.640 align:center
- You have to be a husband. That's all.
- No.

00:44:53.720 --> 00:44:55.880 align:center
I am not sure.
She says that saree is lucky.

00:44:55.960 --> 00:44:58.800 align:center
I had liked her in that saree
when I first met her.

00:44:58.880 --> 00:45:02.800 align:center
Did your madam make
this twirled mustache of yours too?

00:45:02.880 --> 00:45:04.200 align:center
Yes, it is her doing.

00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:06.280 align:center
Did you do anything by yourself today?

00:45:06.360 --> 00:45:07.560 align:center
I mean, like…

00:45:07.640 --> 00:45:10.720 align:center
Auction that saree.
You will get a huge profit for sure.

00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:12.680 align:center
Madam, that saree was passed
on to many people.

00:45:12.760 --> 00:45:13.960 align:center
She herself told me.

00:45:14.640 --> 00:45:16.840 align:center
Once she was done, her friend used it.

00:45:16.920 --> 00:45:19.040 align:center
Then she gave it to another friend.

00:45:19.120 --> 00:45:21.280 align:center
Everyone's marriage got fixed as well.

00:45:22.560 --> 00:45:23.840 align:center
This is real, not a joke.

00:45:23.920 --> 00:45:25.840 align:center
Can you send that saree to Salman's house?

00:45:29.320 --> 00:45:30.440 align:center
Okay.

00:45:32.200 --> 00:45:33.560 align:center
It was very nice to meet you both.

00:45:33.640 --> 00:45:35.880 align:center
- Thank you. Anyone else?
- Thank you, sir. I am a big fan of yours.

00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:38.560 align:center
Thank you, Vasudev.
Both of you are lovely.

00:45:38.640 --> 00:45:40.840 align:center
Anyone else? Yes, buddy.

00:45:40.920 --> 00:45:44.480 align:center
- Hi, sir. My wedding is next month.
- I see.

00:45:44.560 --> 00:45:45.800 align:center
Before that--

00:45:45.880 --> 00:45:47.160 align:center
- What is your name?
- Vijay.

00:45:47.240 --> 00:45:48.560 align:center
- Your wedding's next month?
- Yes, sir.

00:45:48.640 --> 00:45:51.000 align:center
- In November. I want to invite you.
- Okay. What?

00:45:52.520 --> 00:45:54.880 align:center
I attended my own wedding
with great difficulty.

00:45:55.320 --> 00:45:57.960 align:center
- Has your soon-to-be wife come too?
- Yes.

00:45:58.040 --> 00:46:01.160 align:center
- Hello. Congratulations.
- Thank you, sir.

00:46:01.240 --> 00:46:03.120 align:center
I said it to her.
You will be taken care of.

00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:08.480 align:center
- Go ahead.
- Sir, my messaging apps,

00:46:08.560 --> 00:46:13.040 align:center
email or even the movies
that I watch on Netflix,

00:46:13.120 --> 00:46:14.200 align:center
are linked to hers.

00:46:14.280 --> 00:46:19.720 align:center
She gets to know about all my activities.
Everything is connected to her device.

00:46:19.800 --> 00:46:23.640 align:center
I sell cybersecurity products, but she
is the one who keeps tab on everything.

00:46:23.720 --> 00:46:27.000 align:center
You're in cybersecurity,
yet your own phone is not secure.

00:46:27.080 --> 00:46:28.120 align:center
Sir…

00:46:31.320 --> 00:46:33.600 align:center
I have let her do it.

00:46:33.680 --> 00:46:36.920 align:center
I actually wanted to ask her
why she does that.

00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:38.160 align:center
Okay, ask her.

00:46:38.840 --> 00:46:41.480 align:center
We could have saved time
if you had asked her this at home.

00:46:42.240 --> 00:46:44.320 align:center
Now that you are here,
madam can answer it.

00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:47.320 align:center
I, actually…

00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:50.480 align:center
No one does it directly.
I have caught him red-handed twice.

00:46:50.560 --> 00:46:52.280 align:center
- Once.
- No.

00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:53.920 align:center
What did you catch him doing?

00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:55.000 align:center
Ask her.

00:46:55.080 --> 00:46:57.240 align:center
- What was he…
- What was he doing?

00:46:57.320 --> 00:47:00.200 align:center
- Tell us.
- I am in love with her.

00:47:00.280 --> 00:47:03.440 align:center
I was talking about business to someone
else and she mistook it.

00:47:03.520 --> 00:47:04.840 align:center
She started suspecting me.

00:47:04.920 --> 00:47:06.480 align:center
What business were you talking about?

00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:13.560 align:center
Sir, the digital footprint is everywhere.

00:47:13.640 --> 00:47:16.640 align:center
- So, be careful.
- Yes.

00:47:16.720 --> 00:47:19.920 align:center
- I will be careful now, sir.
- I was once listening to music

00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:21.920 align:center
in Kolkata on my phone.

00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:23.240 align:center
The music was played

00:47:23.320 --> 00:47:24.680 align:center
- in my house in Mumbai.
- At our house.

00:47:24.760 --> 00:47:26.000 align:center
Really?

00:47:26.080 --> 00:47:28.840 align:center
- Imagine the possibilities.
- I was wondering where it was coming from.

00:47:28.920 --> 00:47:31.800 align:center
So, be careful whenever you play music.

00:47:32.720 --> 00:47:34.520 align:center
- Thank you. Sorry, I forgot your name.
- Thank you.

00:47:34.600 --> 00:47:36.600 align:center
- Vijay. She is Meghna.
- Vijay…

00:47:36.680 --> 00:47:38.400 align:center
- Congratulations.
- Good luck, Vijay.

00:47:38.480 --> 00:47:40.480 align:center
- Good luck, Meghna.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.

00:47:42.200 --> 00:47:45.600 align:center
Kapil, I want to say something.

00:47:46.120 --> 00:47:48.280 align:center
I don't know
if it's an enchantment or not.

00:47:48.360 --> 00:47:54.360 align:center
I know one thing, that the <i>Kapil Sharma</i>
<i>Show</i> brings people together

00:47:54.440 --> 00:47:58.680 align:center
and makes us so happy
that it is something else.

00:47:58.760 --> 00:48:01.680 align:center
Yesterday, my parents came home.

00:48:01.760 --> 00:48:04.680 align:center
My father is almost 80 years old.

00:48:04.760 --> 00:48:06.640 align:center
I know that you love his songs.

00:48:06.720 --> 00:48:08.920 align:center
- Yes.
- You had told us the last time.

00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:11.480 align:center
He keeps watching old films

00:48:11.560 --> 00:48:14.920 align:center
because his memory has become
a bit weak. He has dementia.

00:48:15.480 --> 00:48:18.160 align:center
Yesterday while we were talking
casually over tea,

00:48:18.240 --> 00:48:23.160 align:center
and I said, "Dad, tomorrow I am
going to the <i>Kapil Sharma Show.</i>"

00:48:23.240 --> 00:48:25.160 align:center
His eyes lit up.

00:48:25.240 --> 00:48:28.400 align:center
- How sweet!
- He was like, "I'll watch it for sure."

00:48:28.480 --> 00:48:32.680 align:center
Every evening he watches
your show on repeat.

00:48:32.760 --> 00:48:35.920 align:center
Thank you, Kareena, for your kind words.

00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:37.120 align:center
Really.

00:48:37.680 --> 00:48:39.720 align:center
Your show itself is an enchantment.

00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:43.120 align:center
- In a lucky way.
- How sweet!

00:49:22.880 --> 00:49:26.080 align:center
<i>Bahu,</i> why did you
make me stop in the middle of the road?

00:49:26.160 --> 00:49:27.960 align:center
Mummy <i>ji…</i>

00:49:28.040 --> 00:49:30.040 align:center
- Your report has come.
- Okay.

00:49:30.120 --> 00:49:33.440 align:center
- We needed educated people to read it.
- Yes.

00:49:33.520 --> 00:49:36.160 align:center
Educated people are seated here, Mummy <i>ji.</i>

00:49:42.040 --> 00:49:44.000 align:center
Lo… Lo…That's wonderful.

00:49:44.080 --> 00:49:46.000 align:center
She is not Lolo. She is Bebo.

00:49:47.680 --> 00:49:49.600 align:center
Yes. Bebo.

00:49:51.320 --> 00:49:53.720 align:center
My mother-in-law is a great fan of yours.

00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:57.000 align:center
She keeps saying your name all day.

00:49:57.080 --> 00:49:59.400 align:center
Yes.

00:49:59.480 --> 00:50:00.760 align:center
When do I take her name?

00:50:03.640 --> 00:50:07.560 align:center
You always tell me,
"'Did you boil the tea?"

00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:10.840 align:center
- Did you heat the curry?
- Yes… Kareena…

00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:13.120 align:center
- Did you heat rotis?
- Kareena…

00:50:13.200 --> 00:50:15.120 align:center
This is Kareena.

00:50:17.240 --> 00:50:20.920 align:center
To be honest, I now understand

00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:23.440 align:center
why Saif always says, "Wow."

00:50:23.520 --> 00:50:24.560 align:center
Of course.

00:50:24.640 --> 00:50:28.320 align:center
When the wife is so beautiful,
anyone would say "Wow!"

00:50:30.480 --> 00:50:34.680 align:center
My son got married five years ago.

00:50:34.760 --> 00:50:36.040 align:center
To her.

00:50:37.960 --> 00:50:41.040 align:center
I have not heard him say
"wow" even once in these five years.

00:50:44.360 --> 00:50:47.520 align:center
My father-in-law has not said
"wow" for 35 years.

00:50:51.280 --> 00:50:52.800 align:center
What did you say?

00:50:52.880 --> 00:50:55.760 align:center
Mummy <i>ji,</i> you always scold me.

00:50:55.840 --> 00:50:58.440 align:center
Look at her. Her mother-in-law
never scolds her.

00:50:58.520 --> 00:51:01.640 align:center
That's because her daughter-in-law
is Kareena Kapoor.

00:51:02.320 --> 00:51:06.280 align:center
Her son is Saif Ali Khan.
Your son is <i>Moongfali</i> Khan.

00:51:10.600 --> 00:51:14.880 align:center
Mummy <i>ji…</i> I meant to say
that she is a great fan of yours.

00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:18.280 align:center
Saif, I am a great fan of yours.

00:51:18.360 --> 00:51:21.640 align:center
We were watching your film on cable
before coming here.

00:51:21.720 --> 00:51:23.240 align:center
<i>Kachhe Dhaage.</i>

00:51:24.440 --> 00:51:27.400 align:center
Mummy <i>ji,</i> not <i>Kachhe Dhaage,</i>
It's <i>Kachche Dhaage.</i>

00:51:28.120 --> 00:51:29.240 align:center
<i>Kachche Dhaage.</i>

00:51:29.880 --> 00:51:32.320 align:center
So, "underwear"
is also is made of "thread," right?

00:51:35.400 --> 00:51:37.520 align:center
Why are you always after the underwear?

00:51:38.520 --> 00:51:40.200 align:center
Hold on to the thread as well.

00:51:41.560 --> 00:51:43.360 align:center
- I will call your Mom.
- No, Mummy <i>ji.</i>

00:51:43.440 --> 00:51:44.720 align:center
- I will call your Mom.
- No.

00:51:44.800 --> 00:51:48.560 align:center
No, Mummy <i>ji.</i> Don't call her. No.

00:51:48.640 --> 00:51:50.720 align:center
She has backache
on her backpain, Mummy <i>ji.</i>

00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:52.360 align:center
- On her backpain!
- Don't stress her out.

00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:55.320 align:center
What kind of stress does your Mom have?

00:51:55.400 --> 00:51:58.800 align:center
She has sent all her stress to our house.

00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:01.960 align:center
- Stress…
- Do remember one thing, Mummy <i>ji…</i>

00:52:02.040 --> 00:52:05.720 align:center
The fridge in your house
was brought by this stress.

00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:08.440 align:center
Stress brought
the washing machine as well.

00:52:08.520 --> 00:52:11.520 align:center
These earrings were also gifted
by stress during her wedding.

00:52:11.600 --> 00:52:13.960 align:center
- Okay.
- The mixer that you use

00:52:14.040 --> 00:52:16.280 align:center
- to make juice was brought by stress.
- Okay.

00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:18.600 align:center
- Yeah.
- Let's discuss that at home.

00:52:18.680 --> 00:52:21.200 align:center
There are guests here. Let's talk to them.

00:52:22.760 --> 00:52:23.800 align:center
All right.

00:52:25.320 --> 00:52:28.520 align:center
Tell them how your husband, my son,
is a fan. Tell them.

00:52:28.600 --> 00:52:31.720 align:center
My husband is very much a fan of yours.

00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:36.400 align:center
He always sings your song "Pungi Bajaake."

00:52:37.200 --> 00:52:38.880 align:center
Says it in everything.

00:52:38.960 --> 00:52:41.960 align:center
He loves it. He says,
"Give me food, '<i>pungi bajaake.'"</i>

00:52:43.720 --> 00:52:45.520 align:center
"I am going to sleep, '<i>pungi bajaake.'"</i>

00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:48.640 align:center
"Pungi Bajaake" is his favorite.

00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:52.160 align:center
After I do all the household chores,
I become like the snake charmer's flute.

00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:57.040 align:center
- You talk too much. Wait.
- Mummy <i>ji.</i>

00:52:57.120 --> 00:52:58.200 align:center
- No.
- Wait…

00:52:58.280 --> 00:52:59.680 align:center
- <i>Behen ji…</i>
- No, Mummy<i>…</i>

00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:01.560 align:center
What kind of daughter have
you sent to our house?

00:53:01.640 --> 00:53:04.960 align:center
She says she becomes a snake charmer's
flute in our house.

00:53:05.600 --> 00:53:06.920 align:center
Is it right?

00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:10.320 align:center
If she has married into our house,
she is bound to do household chores.

00:53:10.400 --> 00:53:12.800 align:center
Who gets spared after marriage anyway?

00:53:12.880 --> 00:53:15.960 align:center
Everyone becomes a flute.
When I got married,

00:53:16.040 --> 00:53:17.560 align:center
don't you think
I became a snake charmer's flute?

00:53:18.560 --> 00:53:20.520 align:center
Wasn't your situation the same?

00:53:21.120 --> 00:53:23.680 align:center
What should I do?
Should I work in my old age as well?

00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:27.160 align:center
Will it look good
if the mother-in-law becomes a flute?

00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:30.360 align:center
Give some advice to your daughter.

00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:32.040 align:center
Mummy <i>ji…</i>

00:53:32.760 --> 00:53:34.280 align:center
She already had a backache.

00:53:34.360 --> 00:53:37.000 align:center
You are in tension. Your BP is high.

00:53:37.080 --> 00:53:38.920 align:center
Let's show the report.
They are educated people.

00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:40.280 align:center
Okay, show them the report.

00:53:40.360 --> 00:53:42.800 align:center
- Your report is here.
- Show it to them.

00:53:43.440 --> 00:53:45.720 align:center
Her report is here.

00:53:45.800 --> 00:53:50.160 align:center
The doctor has given the blood report
and tasted her urine as well.

00:53:51.200 --> 00:53:52.440 align:center
"Taste"? It must be "test."

00:53:52.520 --> 00:53:53.880 align:center
"Taste"? What?

00:53:54.680 --> 00:53:56.880 align:center
- It's her medical report?
- Yes.

00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:01.560 align:center
How can she weigh 475 kgs?

00:54:02.160 --> 00:54:03.400 align:center
It is possible.

00:54:06.520 --> 00:54:08.280 align:center
Really? It says,

00:54:09.040 --> 00:54:12.040 align:center
"This medicine is to be applied
three times a day

00:54:12.120 --> 00:54:13.360 align:center
to the horns."

00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:14.440 align:center
Apply it to her horns?

00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:18.440 align:center
Mummy <i>ji,</i> I will apply it for you.
I am here to serve you.

00:54:18.520 --> 00:54:19.920 align:center
Tell me where is your horn?

00:54:22.560 --> 00:54:25.560 align:center
My horn is attached to my tail. Nonsense.

00:54:25.640 --> 00:54:28.160 align:center
This is my buffalo's report.

00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:33.640 align:center
- Mummy <i>ji…</i>
- Where is my report?

00:54:33.720 --> 00:54:36.200 align:center
Mummy <i>ji,</i> it got mixed up. Sorry.

00:54:36.280 --> 00:54:40.120 align:center
It got mixed up
because your sizes are the same.

00:54:40.280 --> 00:54:41.200 align:center
What did you say?

00:54:42.320 --> 00:54:43.880 align:center
Not your size and that of the buffalo.

00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:45.600 align:center
I meant the size of your reports.

00:54:45.680 --> 00:54:48.280 align:center
Look here. Both are the same size.

00:54:48.360 --> 00:54:50.080 align:center
- This is your report, Mummy <i>ji.</i>
<i>- S</i>ame-sized reports.

00:54:50.160 --> 00:54:51.840 align:center
What is written in it?

00:54:54.120 --> 00:54:56.640 align:center
Mummy <i>ji…</i>

00:55:01.080 --> 00:55:02.520 align:center
- What happened?
- What happened?

00:55:02.600 --> 00:55:05.520 align:center
She is lactose intolerant.

00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:08.120 align:center
- No.
- Yes.

00:55:08.200 --> 00:55:11.440 align:center
- Really?
- Your <i>mota</i>bolism was okay earlier.

00:55:12.160 --> 00:55:13.640 align:center
"<i>Mota</i>bolism!"

00:55:15.160 --> 00:55:17.720 align:center
Mummy <i>ji…</i>

00:55:19.160 --> 00:55:20.520 align:center
It's okay, <i>bahu.</i>

00:55:20.600 --> 00:55:23.800 align:center
Tell me, how many days more will I live?

00:55:23.880 --> 00:55:26.520 align:center
Nonsense. This is not a disease.

00:55:26.600 --> 00:55:28.400 align:center
It's a simple allergy. It is common.

00:55:29.040 --> 00:55:31.240 align:center
Saif sir, aren't you lactose intolerant?

00:55:31.320 --> 00:55:32.960 align:center
- Yes.
- Then?

00:55:33.040 --> 00:55:35.440 align:center
Great. Then it's a good news.

00:55:37.760 --> 00:55:40.760 align:center
Do you mean to say
that I too have rich people's allergy?

00:55:41.960 --> 00:55:45.320 align:center
I will have to celebrate it.

00:55:45.400 --> 00:55:47.720 align:center
You make rice pudding at home
with 5 kgs of milk.

00:55:48.400 --> 00:55:50.440 align:center
We are now among the elite.

00:55:51.760 --> 00:55:54.560 align:center
Mummy, you be an elite.
I don't want to be one.

00:55:54.640 --> 00:55:55.640 align:center
Why?

00:55:55.720 --> 00:55:58.000 align:center
Elite life is totally different.

00:55:58.080 --> 00:55:59.600 align:center
I am happy the way I am.

00:56:00.160 --> 00:56:01.920 align:center
- Yes.
- What is different?

00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:05.800 align:center
They go by car to gym in order to walk.
What's the use of being such an elite?

00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:11.320 align:center
If they go by walk, they will sweat.

00:56:11.400 --> 00:56:14.200 align:center
They will sweat even in the gym, Mummy <i>ji.</i>

00:56:15.840 --> 00:56:17.600 align:center
Look at us.

00:56:17.680 --> 00:56:20.920 align:center
We throw away old items.

00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:23.120 align:center
The elite keep it at home,
saying it's "vintage."

00:56:26.280 --> 00:56:28.240 align:center
If they are saying so,
there might be some truth to it.

00:56:28.320 --> 00:56:30.760 align:center
There will be a difference
between "vintage" and "trash."

00:56:30.840 --> 00:56:32.720 align:center
It's all about the mood, Mummy <i>ji.</i>

00:56:33.320 --> 00:56:35.520 align:center
When father-in-law is in a good mood,

00:56:35.600 --> 00:56:36.680 align:center
he calls you vintage.

00:56:36.760 --> 00:56:38.720 align:center
Otherwise, you know what you are.

00:56:46.120 --> 00:56:49.160 align:center
Mummy <i>ji,</i> stay here.
Don't chase the elite.

00:56:50.400 --> 00:56:51.920 align:center
They have electricity 24 hours,

00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:54.240 align:center
yet they switch them off
for a candlelight dinner.

00:56:55.480 --> 00:56:57.120 align:center
We do not have electricity
at night in our homes.

00:56:57.200 --> 00:56:59.680 align:center
We enjoy candlelight dinners every day.

00:56:59.760 --> 00:57:02.960 align:center
Let alone dinner, even when my son
has to use the latrine,

00:57:03.120 --> 00:57:05.080 align:center
he too uses candlelight.

00:57:07.480 --> 00:57:10.240 align:center
Mummy, you be an elite. I don't want to.

00:57:10.680 --> 00:57:12.080 align:center
I will not stay here.

00:57:12.160 --> 00:57:13.800 align:center
I am going. One minute.

00:57:13.880 --> 00:57:17.720 align:center
Hello. I am coming.
I am lactose in-toilet.

00:57:18.360 --> 00:57:20.880 align:center
Yes. I will come home and explain.

00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:22.200 align:center
What can one do?

00:57:22.280 --> 00:57:24.880 align:center
She changes her mood
for every little thing.

00:57:24.960 --> 00:57:26.080 align:center
What do I do?

00:57:26.720 --> 00:57:28.440 align:center
I wanted to be educated in life,

00:57:28.520 --> 00:57:31.880 align:center
but the situation at my house
was not good.

00:57:32.600 --> 00:57:35.640 align:center
My father played cards in the courtyard,

00:57:35.720 --> 00:57:38.520 align:center
and I enjoyed it so much
that I whiled away my whole day in that.

00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:41.200 align:center
I couldn't study.

00:57:41.360 --> 00:57:43.280 align:center
If not the day,
you could have studied at night.

00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:45.640 align:center
I told you
there is no electricity at night.

00:57:45.720 --> 00:57:48.680 align:center
You can't see anything.
It's very dark. I will show you.

00:57:48.760 --> 00:57:49.840 align:center
It's extremely dark.

00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:51.800 align:center
Suppose I am seated here at night.

00:57:56.600 --> 00:57:59.720 align:center
It's very dark. You won't get it here
because it's bright here.

00:57:59.800 --> 00:58:02.800 align:center
Saif <i>ji,</i> come with me.
I will tell you how dark it is.

00:58:02.880 --> 00:58:03.960 align:center
Sit here.

00:58:04.040 --> 00:58:05.200 align:center
You will not be able to imagine.

00:58:05.280 --> 00:58:07.160 align:center
- To sit here and read a book…
- I sit here?

00:58:07.240 --> 00:58:08.360 align:center
Sit here.

00:58:09.120 --> 00:58:11.200 align:center
Here is a book. Okay?

00:58:11.280 --> 00:58:12.760 align:center
I have a book here.

00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:15.240 align:center
Now try to read it when it's dark.

00:58:16.640 --> 00:58:17.720 align:center
See for yourself.

00:58:18.240 --> 00:58:19.600 align:center
Watch the hair.

00:58:25.520 --> 00:58:28.600 align:center
- Are you able to see anything?
- No, I cannot see.

00:58:28.680 --> 00:58:29.880 align:center
- Hey…
- Goodness…

00:58:29.960 --> 00:58:32.840 align:center
Whose pages are you turning?

00:58:33.560 --> 00:58:36.520 align:center
Nothing is visible.
We cannot even play <i>Ludo.</i>

00:58:37.160 --> 00:58:41.960 align:center
Hey, you smell like the soap
that Kareena promotes.

00:58:42.840 --> 00:58:45.760 align:center
- We can do only one thing in the dark.
- What?

00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:49.000 align:center
I have some peanuts. We can eat them.

00:58:50.760 --> 00:58:52.480 align:center
- Have some peanuts?
- Yes.

00:58:52.560 --> 00:58:54.440 align:center
Why are you peeling my peanuts?

00:58:55.480 --> 00:58:57.240 align:center
Eat yours.

00:59:00.240 --> 00:59:03.280 align:center
Peanuts are very tasty. Okay…

00:59:03.360 --> 00:59:05.920 align:center
Son, look.

00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:08.960 align:center
Look at what your wife is doing.

00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:11.000 align:center
Look here.

00:59:12.680 --> 00:59:15.320 align:center
- Son, look here.
- You kept me hungry,

00:59:15.400 --> 00:59:17.000 align:center
and you're feeding him peanuts?

00:59:17.080 --> 00:59:17.920 align:center
- It's not right.
- I…

00:59:18.600 --> 00:59:20.720 align:center
I never had peanuts before marriage.

00:59:20.800 --> 00:59:23.560 align:center
I had them only
after getting married to you.

00:59:23.640 --> 00:59:25.480 align:center
I was just peeling them for him.

00:59:26.040 --> 00:59:29.000 align:center
Let's go home. I will not spare you.

00:59:29.080 --> 00:59:30.800 align:center
- I told you…
- Come. Let's go.

00:59:30.880 --> 00:59:33.040 align:center
- I told you. Where are you going?
- Come on.

00:59:33.120 --> 00:59:34.760 align:center
- Come on.
- She will go.

00:59:34.840 --> 00:59:36.880 align:center
- Hold her. Let's go.
- Come on.

00:59:42.080 --> 00:59:44.960 align:center
Guys, let's give a big round
of applause for Saif and Kareena.

00:59:45.440 --> 00:59:46.560 align:center
Come on, Kareena <i>ji</i>.

00:59:47.600 --> 00:59:50.560 align:center
Kareena, whenever you've come on our show,
we had great fun.

00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:52.760 align:center
Saif, we've had a great time
whenever you are here.

00:59:52.840 --> 00:59:56.120 align:center
But today, you came together.
We had so much fun. What an episode!

00:59:56.920 --> 00:59:58.000 align:center
Thank you!

00:59:58.240 --> 00:59:59.640 align:center
Thank you so much for coming.

01:00:00.440 --> 01:00:02.280 align:center
Do you want to say something to your fans?

01:00:02.360 --> 01:00:05.160 align:center
Actually, we have come here like this
for the first time.

01:00:05.240 --> 01:00:06.360 align:center
- Because…
- Together.

01:00:06.440 --> 01:00:10.560 align:center
Before now, every time we've come,
it's been for film promotion.

01:00:10.640 --> 01:00:13.720 align:center
- This time it is a different feeling.
- Free mind.

01:00:13.800 --> 01:00:16.160 align:center
I don't know… Something free… Personal.

01:00:16.240 --> 01:00:18.280 align:center
We got a chance to share with you.

01:00:18.360 --> 01:00:21.640 align:center
- Moreover, with family it's more special.
- Very special.

01:00:21.720 --> 01:00:23.080 align:center
Thank you. I am so happy!

01:00:23.160 --> 01:00:24.240 align:center
So, friends,

01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:27.160 align:center
little moments make life beautiful.

01:00:27.240 --> 01:00:31.040 align:center
So, do not wait for any special occasion
to laugh.

01:00:31.120 --> 01:00:32.800 align:center
The laughter festival is aired on Netflix.

01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:34.920 align:center
Keep watching
<i>The Great Indian Kapil Show,</i> season 5.

01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:36.120 align:center
We'll meet again next Saturday.

01:00:36.200 --> 01:00:39.040 align:center
Till then, good night!

01:00:45.440 --> 01:00:48.560 align:center
Today, we welcome the talents
of the music world as our guests.

01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:49.680 align:center
They are ruling everywhere.

01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:52.680 align:center
Please welcome on stage, Jasmine Sandlas,

01:00:52.760 --> 01:00:54.360 align:center
<i>Mr. Satinder Sartaaj,</i>

01:00:54.440 --> 01:00:58.200 align:center
<i>Shashwat Sachdev</i>
<i>and Rishab Rikhiram Sharma.</i>

01:00:58.960 --> 01:01:03.240 align:center
He is glowing so much.
He dresses like a groom for his concert.

01:01:03.320 --> 01:01:04.360 align:center
Henna on his hands.

01:01:04.440 --> 01:01:07.600 align:center
Sherwani. Just put a horse under him
and you can start the wedding procession.

01:01:08.880 --> 01:01:11.320 align:center
Every film's getting National Awards.
How do you feel, Shashwat?

01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:12.440 align:center
Sir, when I was a kid--

01:01:12.520 --> 01:01:14.160 align:center
You still look like a kid.

01:01:14.720 --> 01:01:16.720 align:center
I used to feel that <i>Dhurandhar</i> songs

01:01:16.800 --> 01:01:19.160 align:center
must have been composed
by someone muscular with a mustache.

01:01:19.240 --> 01:01:20.800 align:center
But when I met Shashwat,
he looked so sweet.

01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:22.840 align:center
Tell us. When you were a kid…

01:01:22.920 --> 01:01:24.520 align:center
I forgot what I wanted to say.

01:01:25.880 --> 01:01:28.880 align:center
Ranveer Singh looked like a hero
because of the background.

01:01:28.960 --> 01:01:31.640 align:center
Otherwise, there are many guys
with long hair.

01:01:31.720 --> 01:01:35.160 align:center
They come here from the mountains
to sell Ayurvedic medicines and dates.

01:01:36.440 --> 01:01:37.920 align:center
Our song "Jaiye Sajana,"

01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:42.800 align:center
I have poured my life's feelings
into that song.

01:01:42.880 --> 01:01:44.320 align:center
- Am I speaking Hindi well?
- Very good.

01:01:44.400 --> 01:01:47.840 align:center
It's my favorite thing,
whether someone gets it or not.

01:01:47.920 --> 01:01:50.160 align:center
<i>The moment she started in Punjabi,</i>
it's like a machine gun firing.

01:01:50.720 --> 01:01:52.600 align:center
"The fireflies are very happy-go-lucky."

01:01:52.680 --> 01:01:54.520 align:center
Are they Urdu words or Punjabi?

01:01:54.600 --> 01:01:56.800 align:center
- Persian. Yes.
- Do you know Persian as well?

01:01:56.880 --> 01:01:58.520 align:center
- What is it that you do not know?
- Comedy.

01:02:00.720 --> 01:02:01.800 align:center
Bansuri, this side.

01:02:01.880 --> 01:02:04.160 align:center
Then, what are you on the other side?

01:02:04.240 --> 01:02:05.920 align:center
Why do you want to explore my other side?

