WEBVTT
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Come on!
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Good evening and welcome
to The Great Indian Kapil Show.
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Is everyone having a good time?
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Yes!
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- Are you happy?
- Yes!
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Look, Archana, Sidhu sahab,
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everyone's faces light up
as soon as Diwali arrives.
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Joy is everywhere. Everyone's happy.
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Everyone's out in their festive best.
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- Walk into a bank these days.
- Yeah.
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You won't be able to tell
the employees from the customers.
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Everyone is walking around
in colorful kurta-pajamas.
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Without the gun, you couldn't tell
the guard from the manager.
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Even the women working at the bank
come dressed in traditional saris.
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The bank may only give 6% interest,
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but customers show 100% interest in them.
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A guy comes in to withdraw 10,000 rupees,
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and ends up depositing
1,500 rupees of his own on the way out.
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And everyone loves buying
something new on Diwali.
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Sometimes, 12 people go along
just to buy a four-seater car.
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And the buyer isn't half as stressed
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- about paying the installments…
- Yeah.
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…as he is about picking which four
of the 12 people get to sit in the car.
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- Now, he drives the car himself.
- Yeah.
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- His dad sits in the front seat.
- Yes.
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That tells you right away his dad
paid 70% of the down payment.
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- His one and only wife sits in the back.
- Yes.
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Well, a wife is only one. His only saala.
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Wife, saala. One seat left.
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- If he has two jeejas…
- Then?
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- Then he picks the newest jeeja…
- Yeah.
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- …to sit in the car.
- Okay.
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He tells the older one,
"Take the scooter and bring samosas."
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Now, Diwali is one festival
when everyone tries to get back home.
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Flying in from abroad is easier.
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But traveling within India is way harder.
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Look at the trains,
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- booked solid two months in advance.
- Yes.
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A guy travels from Mumbai to Patna,
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- and his village is two hours further.
- Yeah.
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He has to struggle so much,
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it feels like he's crossing borders
illegally in his own country.
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- Flights are packed and pricey.
- Yes.
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Even on Diwali day, they're pricey.
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- Flights get cheaper after 8:00 p.m.
- Yes.
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- Airlines know Diwali is over by then.
- Yes.
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Anyone on a flight after 8:00 p.m. just
watches all of Diwali from up in the sky.
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Look how expensive tickets get
during Diwali, brother.
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Let me show you. Look at this.
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"Should I go home for Diwali
or to Bangkok?"
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Mumbai to Gorakhpur is
around 28,000 rupees, brother.
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Mumbai to Bangkok is 18,000 rupees.
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Oh, my God!
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What's a guy supposed to think?
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- It's totally unfair.
- It is.
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He thinks,
"I pour oil in lamps every year."
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This time…
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He thinks, "I'll get oil rubbed
on my body this time."
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So off he goes to Bangkok.
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- And when a guy comes back from Bangkok…
- Yeah.
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…he's got so much oil on him,
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his wife can't catch him for months.
He just slips right out!
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No matter the festival,
it's always best with loved ones.
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For this special Diwali,
we've invited a wonderful trio.
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A lovely family of a brother,
bhabhi and devar.
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With a big round of applause,
please welcome Mr. Shahid Kapoor.
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His lovely wife, Mira Rajput Kapoor,
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and Shahid's younger brother,
Ishaan Khatter.
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Welcome them with a round of applause.
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Welcome, welcome, Ishaan.
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Welcome, welcome, Mira.
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Shahid bhai.
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Shahid, Ishaan, Mira,
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- a very warm welcome to all three of you.
- Thank you.
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Thank you so much, Mira.
I know you don't usually go on TV shows.
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- I think this is your first time on TV.
- Yes.
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- Thank you for joining us.
- Thank you.
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Sidhu paaji,
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did you notice something?
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- What?
- Look at Shahid.
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Last time, he came here
with Triptii Dimri.
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He walked in with all this swagger.
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Today, he's here with his wife.
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He looks like he came straight
from a prayer meet.
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And he's heading back to one after this.
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Yes, yes.
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Shahid bhai, don't feel bad.
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It happens to everyone.
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Watch Sidhu paaji's episode.
With Malaika, he walked in
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like a politician
who just won an election.
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With his wife, he looked like
he suffered a landslide defeat.
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Sidhu paaji, give us
a fresh couplet today.
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This is the family whose arrival
has lit up our evening.
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Mira is the glow of the lamps
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and Shahid and Ishaan have
boundless talent.
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Thank you.
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I can smell the fragrance
of happiness in the air, my friend.
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Today is a festival in itself!
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Wonderful!
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But one more thing, Kapil.
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You mocked how he walked in.
I guarantee you one thing.
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- Yes.
- I saw this guy before his marriage too.
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Yeah.
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Ever since she stepped into his home,
he has prospered tenfold.
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Prospered tenfold!
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100%, 100%.
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Whether it's your physique
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or your acting,
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your whole demeanor has changed
for the better.
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So did he walk like this before?
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I meet Shahid often,
and I've met Ishaan too.
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This is our first time meeting you, Mira.
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I would like to know, on a first meeting,
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how long can you talk to someone?
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About an hour.
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When you met Shahid,
I heard you talked for seven hours.
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He's very good company.
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What do you want to say?
You want to say, "Hmm"?
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Sidhu just said everything I achieved
in the last 11 years is because of you.
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How can I take credit
for those seven hours?
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That credit goes to you too.
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He'll go far, the boy will go far!
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He'll go far!
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- When we first met, she was 20 years old.
- Really?
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I was 34 years old.
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When we sat down together,
my first thought was
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how our wavelengths would ever match.
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Seven hours flew by
without us realizing it.
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- This is the deal.
- You know, that's life.
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- That's destiny.
- This is the thing.
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But I have to tell you
two things about this meeting of ours.
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After two or three hours,
he says, "Listen,
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take out your phone."
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I said, "Okay."
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"Just take a picture of my shoes."
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- Shoes?
- I thought, "How weird!"
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We're meeting for the first time,
and he wants a photo of his shoes.
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So I thought,
"Okay, there must be a reason."
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His meaning,
"You'll beat me with them later."
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I took the photo and said, "Here."
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"No, no, turn the flash on."
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I said, "Fine, let's turn it on."
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I showed him the photo. "What is it?"
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"Can't you see my shoes glow in the dark?"
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I said, "What's the big deal?"
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Shahid bhai…
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That was your first-meeting discussion?
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The real question is,
if a guy is talking about his shoes,
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why did you still marry him?
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- Because I--
- You were in a big rush to get married.
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No, actually,
there's a story behind those shoes.
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- What's the story?
- This was 10 or 11 years ago.
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Back then, you know,
the paps had just started out.
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You rarely saw them,
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and whenever they showed up,
we'd all freak out,
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wondering where they came from.
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- Some guy would pop up like this.
- Yes.
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The special thing about those shoes
was that if you took a flash photo,
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their material was made in such a way
that it absorbed all the light.
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- Okay.
- So the rest of the photo looked dark
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and only the shoes shined.
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Bravo! Man, that's awesome!
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I was showing her those shoes.
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I forgot that she had
nothing to do with movies.
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So she wouldn't even get
the context behind it.
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Mira, how many of Shahid's films
had you seen before the wedding?
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- I'd seen three or four.
- I see.
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She always downplays it.
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- That's not true.
- I've asked her ever since we first met,
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and her answer is always,
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"Yes, I think I saw that one,
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and, yes, I just watched
an hour or so of that one."
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At first, I really believed her
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because she was 20 years old
and said it so innocently.
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- Now?
- Then I slowly realized
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that she's actually seen a lot,
she just won't admit it.
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Which ones did you watch?
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You know our favorite movie, right?
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- Which one's our favorite?
- Chup Chup Ke.
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- But which ones had you watched?
- Chup Chup Ke.
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Which ones had you seen
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- before meeting him?
- Jab We Met.
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One of my favorites.
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Yes.
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Jab We Met is a great movie.
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Chup Chup Ke, again, I love.
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Shahid didn't speak in that,
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so you must've liked him.
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His dialogues were just "jaba jaba."
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Then before we met,
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about two or three weeks earlier,
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we went to watch Haider.
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But Mom and Dad already knew the context,
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that we were going to meet.
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They got so scared, like…
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"Oh, so this is who she's going to meet."
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No, she watched Haider before the wedding.
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When we were about to get married,
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I was playing Tommy Singh in Udta Punjab.
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- Yes.
- So when I visited her home
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in Delhi for the first time,
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they have a gorgeous farmhouse
in Chhatarpur,
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her dad opened the door.
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For starters, they have a crazy dog.
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- "Crazy dog"?
- What's his name?
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- Bingo.
- Bingo.
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Okay. Now Bingo only sees
one thing in a human.
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What?
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Meat.
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So Dad's on one side, I'm on the other.
My hair was green.
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I showed up sporting the green hair
from Udta Punjab.
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And you had a dog's name too,
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- Tommy Singh.
- Tommy.
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Tommy on one side,
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- Bingo on the other…
- Bingo.
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…and Dad on the third.
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That was the situation.
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When Dad opened the door,
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I stood there with long green hair,
and he said, "Welcome, Son."
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- He paused for a moment.
- He froze.
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And her father is an engineer.
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He's an IIT grad and a very proper…
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Scoring brownie points on TV.
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Definitely. I suddenly remembered
Dad will watch the show too.
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He's an amazing man, and…
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Seeing his personality, I froze.
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Right, how would he know,
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Mira's father,
that it's a look for a movie?
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He'd think this guy dressed up
specially for the visit.
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"Today he dyed his hair green."
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"He might dye it red for the wedding."
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So when he saw me in the Tommy Singh look,
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he honestly froze for a moment.
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- Thinking, "My daughter…"
- Daughter…
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She's so sweet and pretty,
and she's his favorite.
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So he was shocked.
I'll never forget his expression
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when I walked in looking like Tommy Singh.
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And then, when we finished
shooting for Udta Punjab,
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you know, after the completion,
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they call you to the editing room
to show you the film.
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She came with me to watch it,
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and we were newlyweds back then.
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- We were married then, right?
- Yes.
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- So we were sitting here…
- This guy!
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…and she was sitting right next to me.
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When the movie ended,
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she had moved to the far end of the sofa.
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She got so stressed out,
wondering who she had married.
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- Because she saw that character…
- Oh, God!
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…and she was very stressed out.
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Thank goodness she saw that one.
Imagine getting married after Kabir Singh.
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She would have left you.
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She would have left you saying, "Hey…"
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This is the amazing part.
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For Kabir Singh,
the original film was Arjun Reddy
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- which Kabir Singh was based on.
- Yes, yes.
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The person who watched that film
and told me to do it is her.
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She told me to do the film.
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Did you explain to him later
that it was just a movie look?
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No, he just held back his feelings.
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You know how fathers of daughters are,
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- they often just swallow their feelings.
- Yeah.
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Once my own daughter was born,
I finally understood.
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So I went and apologized to him.
I said, "I'm very sorry."
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That's true.
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Very sweet.
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Normally, what happens with a man is that,
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20 or 25 years after marriage,
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his kids grow up, and he's seen the world.
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He gets a couple of blood tests,
his cholesterol comes back high,
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his blood sugar hits the borderline,
and then he remembers God.
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Then he starts going to prayer meets.
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You went to prayer meets
even before marriage.
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You may have met Mira there too.
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You knew you'd receive
your blessing right there.
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- We actually heard how they met.
- Actually--
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Actually, the funny thing is
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- that my parents went to prayer meets.
- Okay.
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So they had already scouted her
four or five years earlier.
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When-- Yeah.
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When we finally met through our families,
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the first thing they said was,
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"She's the girl we saw back then!"
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So, you know, she is a very pretty girl.
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Of course.
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Mira, isn't it true that when a good
eldest daughter-in-law joins the family,
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the elders in the house
can relax a little?
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They figure she'll find a great match
for the younger brother too.
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So do your in-laws tell you
to take him to prayer meets too?
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That's why we came here.
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Why should it just be us two?
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Now find someone for him too.
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Do you feel pressured as
the eldest daughter-in-law…
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No, she feels zero pressure.
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She thoroughly enjoys this.
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She has a whole list… a list of vetoes.
13:35.920 --> 13:37.920
"This won't work, that won't work."
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- It's not like that.
- Tell them the list.
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The very first thing she told me
was that when I get married,
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she'll make all the wedding decisions.
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We just care about the baby.
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Yes, we want a baby now.
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He can marry whoever he wants.
Both our kids are growing up now.
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I want a small baby.
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They set the rules early,
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"You won't make any decisions.
Just show up quietly."
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Any girl watching the show will wonder,
"How can I marry Ishaan?"
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"His brother and bhabhi
will decide everything."
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We want her to call us first.
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Then we'll bring her along.
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Guys, why are you standing? Please.
14:17.920 --> 14:20.520
Give it up, everyone!
Today is going to be so much fun.
14:25.320 --> 14:28.760
As you all know, Shahid has been
entertaining you for years.
14:28.840 --> 14:32.240
Raised in Mumbai, built a film career,
and became such a huge star.
14:32.320 --> 14:33.960
And after doing all that,
14:34.040 --> 14:36.800
his control landed
right in the hands of Delhi's Mira.
14:37.880 --> 14:41.280
Admit it, folks, whether a country
or a husband, Delhi is in control.
14:48.120 --> 14:50.720
It depends on where the wife sits.
14:51.440 --> 14:54.560
If the wife sits in Jalandhar,
control is from Jalandhar.
14:54.640 --> 14:55.640
Yeah.
14:58.080 --> 15:00.480
Shahid, did you ever make
a few trips to Delhi before marriage?
15:00.560 --> 15:03.840
Just dropping by with an excuse,
like, "I was there for a shoot"
15:03.920 --> 15:05.000
- To meet her?
- Yes.
15:05.080 --> 15:06.120
Yes, of course.
15:06.200 --> 15:08.920
I was always looking for a chance.
15:09.000 --> 15:10.480
I want to know when…
15:10.560 --> 15:12.640
- I came so often, babe, sweetheart.
- …you came to Delhi.
15:12.720 --> 15:14.000
What are you talking about?
15:14.640 --> 15:16.800
- Didn't I visit you enough?
- A few times.
15:17.400 --> 15:20.600
I thought you used to feel like,
"Here he comes again."
15:21.760 --> 15:26.680
I was older. So I felt like, being 13
years older, you can't look desperate.
15:27.360 --> 15:29.920
You have to act really relaxed,
like it's no big deal.
15:30.000 --> 15:31.240
"This old man showed up at home."
15:32.640 --> 15:36.280
Besides the beard,
I see no change in Shahid.
15:36.360 --> 15:39.720
Take your first song.
You must've been 18 or 19 years old in it.
15:39.800 --> 15:42.600
- Yes, 17 or 18 years old.
- And I've never seen any difference.
15:42.680 --> 15:45.240
Even in your looks,
we only know because you tell us.
15:45.320 --> 15:47.360
We can't really tell
there's a 13-year gap.
15:47.440 --> 15:49.920
That's not very nice.
That's not so good for me.
15:53.040 --> 15:55.400
Shahid and Mira
have been married for 11 years.
15:55.480 --> 15:56.360
They have three kids.
15:57.080 --> 15:59.320
I know they have two, plus this third.
He's a kid too, right?
15:59.400 --> 16:00.800
- Yes, absolutely.
- Their first kid.
16:00.880 --> 16:04.760
One kid was born before the wedding.
Two were born after.
16:05.440 --> 16:08.680
I call him a kid because when he was
little, Shahid changed his diapers.
16:09.400 --> 16:12.520
With such an age gap between brothers,
the older one changes diapers.
16:12.600 --> 16:15.040
I changed his diapers as a kid,
16:15.120 --> 16:17.480
and he says he'll change mine
when I'm old.
16:22.800 --> 16:24.080
In installments.
16:24.160 --> 16:26.080
Somehow, I'll have to
16:26.160 --> 16:28.640
- pay him back in full.
- You can do that much for me.
16:30.160 --> 16:32.480
You both earn your own money.
16:32.560 --> 16:35.840
Still, you're the same size.
Do you ever wear each other's clothes?
16:35.920 --> 16:37.120
I've worn a lot of his clothes,
16:37.200 --> 16:39.120
and when he didn't give them,
his leftovers.
16:39.200 --> 16:42.200
He'd force his way into it
when he was 15 or 16 years old.
16:42.280 --> 16:45.760
At first, I adored him
because I rarely saw him.
16:45.840 --> 16:49.160
I was busy shooting here and there.
I barely saw him in life.
16:49.240 --> 16:52.880
So whenever we met,
I'd give him a T-shirt or something.
16:52.960 --> 16:57.480
Then I noticed this guy showed up
one day with a wet T-shirt,
16:58.080 --> 17:02.680
one day with a dirty T-shirt,
one day in shorts, "Bro, I'm going out."
17:02.760 --> 17:06.760
I realized he makes excuses,
takes my clothes, and never returns them.
17:07.920 --> 17:10.839
Once I went to his room,
and he said, "Bro, come here."
17:10.920 --> 17:12.400
He took me to his closet,
17:12.480 --> 17:15.000
pointed to one side, and said,
"These are all your clothes."
17:15.079 --> 17:17.440
- That's wonderful. How sweet!
- How sweet!
17:18.400 --> 17:19.319
So sweet.
17:21.160 --> 17:24.160
When a younger brother tries to join
his older brother's group,
17:24.240 --> 17:27.359
the older brother rarely lets him,
"Go play with your own friends."
17:27.440 --> 17:29.359
Then, after a certain age,
17:29.440 --> 17:31.720
when the younger one learns
all the older one's secrets,
17:31.800 --> 17:34.120
- he slowly goes from brother to friend.
- Yeah.
17:34.200 --> 17:37.360
Has he become your friend now,
or is he still the little brother?
17:37.440 --> 17:42.160
The funny angle is that he wants me
to become close friends with his friends.
17:42.240 --> 17:45.080
- Okay.
- Which I keep avoiding.
17:45.160 --> 17:48.000
Because I feel like
there's only so much Ishaan I can handle.
17:48.080 --> 17:51.480
If more young people come
with Ishaan's volume and intensity…
17:51.560 --> 17:53.520
- Yeah.
- …I'll start feeling old.
17:53.600 --> 17:56.240
So I have to keep myself young.
That's my job, you know.
17:56.320 --> 17:58.400
He tries really hard at that.
17:58.480 --> 18:00.360
- Who said that--
- And he's always been in my group.
18:00.440 --> 18:03.040
I mean, there was never a time
you weren't in my group.
18:03.120 --> 18:05.880
Have you gone out to party
with him and his friends?
18:05.960 --> 18:08.160
Actually, I really enjoy
hanging with his friends
18:08.240 --> 18:11.760
because I feel their outlook
on life is very different.
18:11.840 --> 18:13.120
I feel the generation changes
18:13.200 --> 18:14.600
- every five years.
- Absolutely.
18:14.680 --> 18:16.760
So when I listen to them, I realize
18:16.840 --> 18:20.120
that there's a big difference
in how they think versus how we think.
18:20.200 --> 18:23.080
Now I feel like the generation
changes every two months.
18:23.160 --> 18:24.480
Yes, true.
18:24.560 --> 18:26.600
Yes. The kids being born now…
18:27.880 --> 18:29.480
Who knows if we can handle them.
18:31.120 --> 18:33.360
No matter how many secrets
the younger brother knows,
18:33.440 --> 18:35.160
he tells his brother nothing.
18:35.240 --> 18:36.920
- Yes.
- He befriends his bhabhi,
18:37.000 --> 18:41.240
thinking that later on
she'll help him out if he's seeing someone
18:41.320 --> 18:43.800
or if there's someone he wants to marry.
18:43.880 --> 18:46.760
Do you share your secrets with Mira?
18:46.840 --> 18:47.760
I do.
18:47.840 --> 18:51.120
What happens with me is,
I'm working these days,
18:51.200 --> 18:53.800
so when I go meet them after a few weeks,
18:53.880 --> 18:56.200
we usually meet
at the dining table over dinner,
18:56.280 --> 18:58.280
and it turns into a lively gathering.
18:58.360 --> 19:01.560
Then they sit me down, and I suddenly
realize I'm on the witness stand.
19:03.320 --> 19:04.240
It's like, and…
19:04.320 --> 19:06.000
- First, we feed him.
- "Spill."
19:06.080 --> 19:08.560
- "What's going on?"
- "What's going on?"
19:08.640 --> 19:10.680
Before I even swallow a bite, it begins.
19:11.360 --> 19:13.880
Bhabhis shift genres really fast.
19:13.960 --> 19:15.040
First, it's a comedy scene,
19:15.120 --> 19:16.880
"Oh, you're visiting after so long!"
19:17.600 --> 19:20.280
Then an emotional scene starts suddenly,
19:20.360 --> 19:22.320
"You left, and then this and that."
19:22.400 --> 19:24.960
And suddenly the interrogation starts,
"So tell me."
19:26.000 --> 19:28.040
And all this happens in two minutes.
19:29.480 --> 19:31.600
The genre shifts in two minutes.
19:31.680 --> 19:34.920
And we really thought
we were the actors at home.
19:35.000 --> 19:37.800
But most of the time,
the most common thing is,
19:37.880 --> 19:39.480
this gentleman arrives,
19:39.560 --> 19:42.000
drops his shoes
in the middle of the house,
19:42.080 --> 19:43.760
and then vanishes somewhere.
19:44.400 --> 19:46.080
So last time, the poor guy came over.
19:47.120 --> 19:47.960
Are we doing this?
19:49.280 --> 19:50.920
Are we, Mira?
19:51.000 --> 19:53.680
- Please, please do it, do it.
- Politely.
19:54.520 --> 19:57.760
So Mom is sitting there too,
and we're chatting,
19:57.840 --> 20:00.160
and something flies over our heads.
20:00.240 --> 20:03.040
Nobody has any idea who is saying what.
20:03.120 --> 20:06.040
At some point,
these two start going at it.
20:06.120 --> 20:09.680
"I've been telling you this for so long,
you just don't listen to me."
20:09.760 --> 20:13.080
"But what do you mean?
I just did it this one time."
20:13.160 --> 20:14.640
What is it about?
20:14.720 --> 20:16.320
Shoes in the middle of the room.
20:16.400 --> 20:18.080
"Enough is enough, Ishaan.
20:18.160 --> 20:21.120
"You have to start following
the rules of this house."
20:21.200 --> 20:25.320
Honey, it's Diwali. The brief
was that we're a very happy family.
20:27.560 --> 20:29.400
Follow the brief.
20:32.320 --> 20:34.440
And Mira's solution to this problem…
20:34.520 --> 20:36.320
She struggled for the first few months,
20:36.400 --> 20:38.600
like, "What do we do? What do I do?"
20:38.680 --> 20:39.600
Now her fix is,
20:39.680 --> 20:41.760
whether my friends or Ishaan are over,
20:41.840 --> 20:44.400
or even if Mom is over,
Mira suddenly disappears.
20:45.320 --> 20:48.040
Forty-five minutes later, you realize,
"Where's Mira?"
20:48.120 --> 20:49.160
Mira's fast asleep.
20:50.560 --> 20:52.960
Whether it's afternoon,
morning, or evening.
20:53.040 --> 20:53.920
Rubbish.
20:54.000 --> 20:56.800
Her time-out is like
when we watch basketball,
20:56.880 --> 20:58.480
and the coach chews gum.
21:01.120 --> 21:03.000
It's a time-out you see in the matches.
21:03.080 --> 21:05.080
- That is not true.
- She takes a 40-minute break
21:05.160 --> 21:06.200
from the Kapoors,
21:06.280 --> 21:09.960
and then comes back like,
"Oh, what's happening? Nothing. I just…"
21:10.040 --> 21:11.880
"You know, my hair has become frizzy."
21:11.960 --> 21:14.440
- No, nothing like that.
- She was sleeping on the bed.
21:14.520 --> 21:16.040
- Not true.
- "I can't take it."
21:16.120 --> 21:18.920
When these two start talking
about serious cinema,
21:19.000 --> 21:21.440
I take a little silence break.
21:21.520 --> 21:24.760
Then you fall asleep
right there at the dining table.
21:27.000 --> 21:31.000
Ishaan, tell me,
you've known Shahid since childhood.
21:31.640 --> 21:35.960
Has Shahid changed at all after marriage,
or is he the same as before?
21:36.040 --> 21:38.240
For one, he looks even younger.
21:41.680 --> 21:42.640
That's true.
21:43.200 --> 21:47.240
- Any other changes you see?
- Also, you brought up earlier
21:47.320 --> 21:48.680
how the younger brother wants
21:48.760 --> 21:51.000
- to be more involved in the friend group.
- Right.
21:51.080 --> 21:55.360
So his biking trips
have increased quite a bit
21:55.440 --> 21:57.320
because he's now realized that,
21:57.400 --> 22:00.120
"Either I give time to family
as a husband and father,
22:00.200 --> 22:02.320
"or I give time to work,"
22:02.400 --> 22:06.720
and once all that is done, both kids
come and jump on him early in the morning.
22:06.800 --> 22:10.600
He gets no time for himself.
So he takes off on these trips.
22:10.680 --> 22:14.400
So my goal was to figure out
how to crash these bike trips.
22:14.480 --> 22:16.480
Basically, "How do I barge in
22:16.560 --> 22:19.920
when he's barely
found some personal time to go off alone?"
22:20.000 --> 22:20.840
Even into that.
22:22.720 --> 22:25.560
Look at Ishaan,
he's following in Shahid's footsteps.
22:25.640 --> 22:27.640
He's a fantastic actor,
22:27.720 --> 22:29.120
has a great physique,
22:29.200 --> 22:30.960
and he's an amazing dancer.
22:31.040 --> 22:34.640
Shahid, is there any footstep
you'd rather Ishaan didn't follow?
22:34.720 --> 22:37.920
I think since I got married quite late,,
22:38.000 --> 22:39.960
he should just go ahead and do it now.
22:41.400 --> 22:44.400
Why, Shahid? Why shouldn't he marry late?
22:44.480 --> 22:47.240
I feel that until you get married,
22:47.800 --> 22:51.560
especially for men,
you think your work is your whole life.
22:51.640 --> 22:53.920
- True.
- But once you get married,
22:54.000 --> 22:57.360
you realize
that this is work, and this is life.
22:57.440 --> 22:59.920
- Brilliant.
- Second, my son is eight years old,
23:00.000 --> 23:03.160
and he loves cricket and soccer,
so I wonder
23:03.240 --> 23:06.240
how long I'll be able to play with him.
There's that feeling too.
23:06.320 --> 23:08.120
My daughter loves climbing,
23:08.200 --> 23:12.520
so I want to be able to do those things
with them till they grow up.
23:12.600 --> 23:15.360
When you become a father while young,
23:15.440 --> 23:18.240
- you can do so many things with your kids.
- Can do many things.
23:18.320 --> 23:20.480
- If you become a parent a bit late…
- Right.
23:20.560 --> 23:23.200
…you can't do as much,
and the child feels that
23:23.280 --> 23:24.840
because kids love to share.
23:24.920 --> 23:26.480
Are you an indulgent father or…
23:26.560 --> 23:29.680
- Extremely. He spoils them a lot…
- Really?
23:29.760 --> 23:31.360
…but not in a bad way.
23:31.440 --> 23:33.880
- With so much love…
- He rides fast, but very safely.
23:33.960 --> 23:36.120
He spoils the kids,
"but not in a bad way."
23:36.680 --> 23:38.880
- I mean, I'm so strict.
- Yes?
23:38.960 --> 23:40.120
And he tells me,
23:40.200 --> 23:43.280
"Don't do this, don't do that,
don't feed them that."
23:43.360 --> 23:45.400
Then the kids come, and he's like,
"Of course, sure,
23:45.480 --> 23:47.080
oh, it's just Sunday."
23:47.160 --> 23:51.240
And the best quality about him is
that every morning when the kids…
23:51.320 --> 23:52.880
As soon as they wake up,
23:52.960 --> 23:56.240
they go straight and jump
on top of him in the morning.
23:56.960 --> 23:59.920
And nothing, not a peep.
No "Don't do that, do this."
24:00.000 --> 24:01.960
Even if he's back at 3:00 a.m…
24:02.040 --> 24:04.120
he never snaps at the kids.
24:04.200 --> 24:07.360
He just cuddles them like this…
24:07.440 --> 24:09.240
then they're happy and content.
24:09.320 --> 24:11.120
So he is very indulgent with his love.
24:11.760 --> 24:12.600
Wonderful!
24:14.160 --> 24:18.160
Well, you've sung for all kinds
of actresses in movies.
24:18.240 --> 24:19.720
- Today, your personal--
- Yes, yes.
24:19.800 --> 24:21.360
When did I sing for them?
24:21.440 --> 24:23.800
By actresses, I mean the ones
who played your wives.
24:23.880 --> 24:25.120
Played my wives?
24:25.200 --> 24:27.840
- In different movies.
- Whom are you talking about?
24:27.920 --> 24:29.640
Man, the guy flat-out denied it!
24:29.720 --> 24:31.800
- I have no clue what you're saying.
- Shahid bhai…
24:31.880 --> 24:35.520
- Sing a couple of lines for Mira. Yes.
- Should I?
24:37.920 --> 24:39.280
- Great!
- "Intoxicated"?
24:39.920 --> 24:41.280
It's "rosy"!
24:43.800 --> 24:47.720
Mira got totally stressed out!
"Intoxicated? What are you saying?"
25:10.760 --> 25:12.080
Mira!
25:23.600 --> 25:24.680
Awesome!
25:28.960 --> 25:31.080
Let's hear it for Shahid bhai!
25:34.400 --> 25:37.760
Whatever happens with the show,
I got a meme for the family chat.
25:37.840 --> 25:40.000
- Ishaan, tell me something.
- "Intoxicated eyes." Yes?
25:40.080 --> 25:41.920
You know your brother so well.
25:42.000 --> 25:43.880
Has it ever crossed your mind,
25:43.960 --> 25:46.600
thinking of some habit of Shahid's,
to ask Mira,
25:46.680 --> 25:48.600
"Bhabhi, how do you put up with him?"
25:48.680 --> 25:50.000
Is there anything like that?
25:50.640 --> 25:54.480
- No, no--
- Say it, man. Let loose today.
25:54.560 --> 25:55.960
- Should I?
- Yes.
25:56.040 --> 25:57.400
With me, every little time,
25:57.480 --> 26:01.680
if I ever accidentally come close
to winning an argument,
26:01.760 --> 26:03.680
it's always, "Who's the older one?"
26:03.760 --> 26:05.520
"Who changed your diapers?
Who's the older one?"
26:05.600 --> 26:08.120
So now I've just given up.
26:08.200 --> 26:10.280
You know the white flag?
I've waved it like this,
26:10.360 --> 26:12.000
- I won't argue with him.
- Surrender.
26:12.080 --> 26:13.320
A peace treaty has been signed.
26:13.400 --> 26:17.080
Yes, so what are your tricks?
You tell me. But I--
26:17.160 --> 26:19.440
That was your question, not mine.
26:23.920 --> 26:26.960
Yes, so let me tell you
about one of his biggest contributions.
26:27.040 --> 26:29.680
He's my elder brother, but honestly,
26:29.760 --> 26:31.800
he's been like a father figure to me.
26:31.880 --> 26:34.720
But the biggest contribution, actually,
I haven't told you this yet.
26:34.800 --> 26:36.720
The role I'm about to play
26:36.800 --> 26:39.000
- in Season 2 of Royals.
- Royals.
26:39.080 --> 26:41.800
- It's about a brother and sister.
- Yes.
26:41.880 --> 26:43.920
It's a very sweet relationship.
26:44.000 --> 26:47.120
- I play the older brother in it.
- Oh, so revenge time.
26:47.200 --> 26:51.440
Yes, so now you'll see
for that older brother role,
26:51.520 --> 26:53.920
where I actually got my inspiration from.
26:54.960 --> 26:58.360
It's just full-on drama
and daily fights galore!
26:58.440 --> 27:00.960
The younger brother keeps getting
beaten for no specific reason!
27:01.040 --> 27:04.120
So I channeled him. You'll see
when the show comes out in a few months.
27:07.320 --> 27:09.800
We found some lovely pictures, bhai,
of the three of you.
27:09.880 --> 27:12.080
There are some funny comments on them.
27:12.160 --> 27:13.760
We'd love to show you. Please take a look!
27:13.840 --> 27:19.720
KOMMENTER'S KRAVING
27:21.800 --> 27:23.320
Mira posted this photo.
27:23.400 --> 27:24.840
- Right, with ma'am--
- Two Shahids!
27:24.920 --> 27:26.720
- In Singapore?
- There are two of him.
27:26.800 --> 27:29.120
- You need to guess the real one.
- Which one is the real one?
27:29.200 --> 27:30.040
You tell me.
27:30.840 --> 27:31.880
The one on this side.
27:33.640 --> 27:36.680
- Both look real. Very well-made.
- Fantastic.
27:36.760 --> 27:39.960
"When one plus one is equal to eleven.
Happy anniversary, love of my life."
27:40.560 --> 27:41.840
Let's see the comments.
27:42.560 --> 27:44.920
The comment says,
"Whichever one melts first is real."
27:49.120 --> 27:50.200
Bravo!
27:50.280 --> 27:52.400
That's so poetic,
what a deep point they made.
27:52.480 --> 27:53.320
Show us more.
27:53.400 --> 27:55.880
"One of them is Shahid,
and the other is shaheed."
27:57.520 --> 27:59.040
This was too good!
28:00.840 --> 28:01.680
Show us more.
28:02.800 --> 28:06.280
"Left one or right one, a husband
is just a puppet in his wife's hands."
28:08.520 --> 28:10.120
Well said, bhaisahab!
28:12.800 --> 28:13.760
Show us more.
28:14.960 --> 28:17.760
"What will you do with two?
Give one to me, please."
28:20.400 --> 28:21.240
Show us more.
28:22.160 --> 28:25.080
"Roam around, be happy." Shahid bhai,
where is this from? Great picture.
28:25.160 --> 28:26.480
This is from Goa.
28:26.560 --> 28:29.560
- For a shoot or a trip?
- No, just to roam around and be happy.
28:31.800 --> 28:32.920
Let's see the comments.
28:33.680 --> 28:34.840
"Bhai, write the entire thing."
28:34.920 --> 28:38.000
"Live it up and enjoy yourself until your
wife gets back from her parents' house."
28:39.400 --> 28:41.400
Why do people always make
such sarcastic comments?
28:43.080 --> 28:44.000
Show us more.
28:45.040 --> 28:48.000
"Bhai, if the menu's too pricey,
fake a phone call and slip out,
28:48.080 --> 28:49.720
no need to stress out like this."
28:50.360 --> 28:51.640
I've actually done this in life.
28:52.960 --> 28:54.840
Before becoming an actor.
28:55.560 --> 28:56.680
Show us more.
28:57.240 --> 29:00.040
"He'll read the whole menu just to order
dal, roti, and paneer."
29:00.120 --> 29:01.240
- Yes!
- Very true.
29:01.320 --> 29:02.160
That is true.
29:02.800 --> 29:04.560
- I love dal, roti, and paneer.
- This is true.
29:04.640 --> 29:05.480
- It's true.
- Really!
29:05.560 --> 29:07.240
- Evergreen food.
- I'm a vegetarian. I love it.
29:07.800 --> 29:08.800
Show us more.
29:09.680 --> 29:13.880
His friend Kunal Kemmu is still
in the restroom, and the bill has arrived.
29:16.720 --> 29:20.840
Special mention to Kunal Kemmu
in this Diwali episode.
29:21.360 --> 29:22.360
Show us more.
29:23.960 --> 29:26.840
"I've been seeing your messages,
letters, essays…" Too long, man.
29:27.760 --> 29:29.080
Let's read the comments below.
29:30.640 --> 29:33.600
"You can tell from his face
that it's an arranged marriage."
29:38.000 --> 29:38.960
Yes, show us more.
29:40.440 --> 29:43.960
"Someone told him to think twice
before marrying, so he's thinking."
29:44.040 --> 29:46.120
"As for understanding marriage,
no one ever has."
29:50.160 --> 29:51.440
Show us more.
29:52.440 --> 29:54.480
"When you're waiting
for your wedding night,
29:54.560 --> 29:57.360
and your bua says
one more ritual is left."
30:02.160 --> 30:03.000
Show us more.
30:05.720 --> 30:08.280
"With you, I have it all.
Without you, I have some."
30:08.360 --> 30:10.240
- Who's "you"?
- "Without you, I have nothing."
30:10.320 --> 30:12.200
- In this caption.
- Ask this bhaisahab.
30:12.280 --> 30:13.640
What does the poet mean, bhaisahab?
30:13.720 --> 30:17.200
I swear, I was thinking the picture
and the caption didn't match.
30:17.280 --> 30:19.280
- I was in Goa.
- Right.
30:19.360 --> 30:22.000
You know, things like this happen in Goa,
just like that.
30:22.560 --> 30:23.840
Let's check the comments.
30:24.880 --> 30:27.080
"'With you, I have it all.
Without you, I have nothing.'"
30:27.160 --> 30:29.120
"I know what you're talking about.
Petrol."
30:33.840 --> 30:35.600
That's the best comment
from today's episode.
30:35.680 --> 30:37.160
Show us more.
30:38.160 --> 30:40.960
"Bro, this bike's exhaust is
way too high."
30:41.040 --> 30:43.800
"The passenger in the back
could burn both of their paav."
30:43.880 --> 30:44.960
- Paav!
- Oh, my God!
30:45.040 --> 30:46.760
- Both "paav"?
- "Paav."
30:46.840 --> 30:48.360
Both paav.
30:48.440 --> 30:49.400
Does he mean butt?
30:49.480 --> 30:50.680
Yes!
30:50.760 --> 30:53.200
The exhaust is so hot
that it burned his butt.
30:54.080 --> 30:56.080
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:57.920 --> 30:59.640
Just picturing it cracks me up.
31:00.680 --> 31:01.640
Show us more.
31:03.000 --> 31:05.840
"Shahid bhai stopped here.
This must be Mira Road."
31:09.240 --> 31:13.520
- Bravo!
- Brilliant, man. Awesome.
31:14.440 --> 31:15.640
- Show us more.
- Good one.
31:16.840 --> 31:21.800
"When nature calls on the highway,
I also look around first,
31:21.880 --> 31:24.560
assess the situation,
and then proceed with the operation."
31:28.520 --> 31:29.520
Show us more.
31:31.320 --> 31:32.520
- All done?
- All done.
31:35.800 --> 31:38.320
Look, we'll play a game today.
31:38.400 --> 31:41.040
On one side is his brother,
and on the other, his wife.
31:41.120 --> 31:44.280
Let's see who understands you better.
31:44.360 --> 31:45.360
Oh, good.
31:45.440 --> 31:48.480
So the game requires Ishaan
and Mira to wear headphones.
31:48.560 --> 31:51.120
- Okay.
- I'll ask them some questions.
31:51.200 --> 31:53.760
Then I'll confirm with you
whether they got it right or not.
31:53.840 --> 31:56.520
Ladies and gentlemen, we're playing this
game for the first time.
32:05.880 --> 32:08.320
Shahid bhai, who was your teenage crush?
32:08.400 --> 32:09.920
- My teenage crush?
- Yes.
32:10.520 --> 32:12.760
I don't want to say that on camera.
32:12.840 --> 32:14.200
Spit it out, it doesn't matter.
32:14.840 --> 32:15.920
Come on, say it.
32:16.000 --> 32:19.560
I had a crush.
There was a girl called Reshma.
32:19.640 --> 32:21.920
- Is Reshma an actor?
- No, a childhood crush.
32:22.000 --> 32:24.200
- Does she know?
- I don't think so.
32:24.880 --> 32:26.520
I hope I don't get you in trouble.
32:26.600 --> 32:29.080
No, nobody knows her.
32:29.160 --> 32:30.880
- He doesn't either?
- Reshma may not either.
32:30.960 --> 32:33.680
- Neither of them knows? Let's ask and see.
- No chance.
32:33.760 --> 32:36.920
Shahid, she will take some other name
which you do not want
32:37.680 --> 32:39.240
other people to know.
32:40.680 --> 32:43.120
- Okay, guys.
- It's too late now.
32:43.200 --> 32:44.640
- Both say in one go?
- One by one.
32:45.440 --> 32:48.240
Mira, do you know if Shahid
32:48.320 --> 32:50.200
had any teenage crush?
32:51.160 --> 32:52.000
- Yes.
- Who?
32:52.080 --> 32:52.920
Who?
32:53.480 --> 32:55.840
- That neighbor of yours.
- Do you remember her name?
32:55.920 --> 32:57.160
- Yeah.
- Who?
32:57.240 --> 32:59.680
- I mean, I don't know if I can say it.
- I already said it.
33:01.120 --> 33:02.000
Is it…
33:03.520 --> 33:05.320
- Say it, say it without any hesitation.
- Reshma.
33:05.400 --> 33:06.720
Reshma!
33:10.240 --> 33:11.360
You hit the nail on the head.
33:11.440 --> 33:12.440
Crazy!
33:12.520 --> 33:15.800
Listen, now we know what you two
yapped about for seven hours.
33:16.440 --> 33:18.000
- All of this was shared.
- That's insane!
33:18.080 --> 33:21.360
I can't hear anything in these,
but I can hear the echo of victory.
33:21.440 --> 33:23.520
- Listen, please lose now.
- This is so unfair to me!
33:23.600 --> 33:27.680
- I asked Shahid--
- I just want to say,
33:28.240 --> 33:30.200
since I know he'll get it wrong,
33:30.280 --> 33:32.040
- that's why I'm defending him.
- Hey…
33:32.120 --> 33:34.440
- Yes.
- He was six or seven months old
33:34.520 --> 33:36.280
when I had a crush on her.
33:37.080 --> 33:39.320
So if he doesn't know,
it's not his fault--
33:39.400 --> 33:40.720
He was at least a baby,
33:40.800 --> 33:43.040
she wasn't even in your life yet.
33:44.000 --> 33:45.960
So if she knows, maybe he knows too--
33:46.040 --> 33:47.840
Because only a wife asks such questions.
33:47.920 --> 33:48.800
Yes.
33:48.880 --> 33:50.280
- I didn't ask.
- Let's see.
33:50.920 --> 33:53.680
Who was Shahid's teenage crush?
Do you have any idea?
33:53.760 --> 33:55.920
- Crush--
- Not an actress, just a real person.
33:56.640 --> 33:58.000
Who knows what he'll say!
33:59.920 --> 34:02.480
Beta, prevent and prepare
rather than repent and repair.
34:02.560 --> 34:05.160
The actress crush was
before his teens, right?
34:05.240 --> 34:06.240
Right?
34:06.320 --> 34:07.160
Raveena Tandon.
34:08.120 --> 34:10.640
- Raveena Tandon, paaji.
- He took a heroine's name.
34:11.560 --> 34:13.800
- I know this one.
- That's your crush.
34:13.880 --> 34:14.719
No.
34:15.280 --> 34:16.280
It is.
34:17.040 --> 34:18.239
No, teenage crush.
34:18.320 --> 34:20.400
It was… Anisha?
34:23.639 --> 34:24.760
Correct?
34:24.840 --> 34:25.840
- Correct?
- Bhaisahab,
34:26.440 --> 34:29.199
- now I can't just say it was Reshma.
- Obviously.
34:29.280 --> 34:30.280
I mean…
34:30.920 --> 34:32.760
Okay. Put your headphones on again.
34:32.840 --> 34:34.480
- I got it right. Yeah.
- Really?
34:34.560 --> 34:36.719
- No, I didn't know.
- She's destroying you right now.
34:36.800 --> 34:38.760
Okay, put your headphones back on.
34:38.840 --> 34:43.000
Bhai, what is one habit of yours
that you think annoys them both?
34:43.080 --> 34:44.520
One such habit
34:44.600 --> 34:46.239
- which you feel--
- I preach way too much.
34:46.840 --> 34:49.520
- You preach?
- Yes, like, "Life should be this way."
34:49.600 --> 34:50.960
- Right.
- Okay.
34:51.040 --> 34:52.400
Okay, guys. Mira.
34:53.840 --> 34:58.760
What is one habit of Shahid's
that annoys you?
34:59.679 --> 35:00.560
Just one?
35:03.520 --> 35:06.640
He goes to bed very early
and wakes up very early.
35:06.720 --> 35:08.760
- One of them--
- He sleeps early and wakes up early.
35:08.840 --> 35:11.920
I think you have to…
Please put it in a category,
35:12.000 --> 35:13.160
then I'll give you the answer.
35:13.240 --> 35:14.760
In which category should we place this?
35:14.840 --> 35:16.880
- Put it under personal interaction.
- Yes.
35:16.960 --> 35:18.400
He doesn't remember people's names.
35:18.480 --> 35:20.320
That cannot be said
because he remembers Reshma.
35:20.400 --> 35:21.800
Even I remember Reshma!
35:25.360 --> 35:27.760
He doesn't like to socialize.
35:27.840 --> 35:30.040
- He hates socializing.
- Mira, you already lost.
35:30.120 --> 35:32.440
- Stop listing my flaws now.
- I know!
35:34.040 --> 35:36.480
- Okay, Ishaan--
- He doesn't like eating out.
35:36.560 --> 35:37.560
Mira, stop.
35:40.440 --> 35:44.240
What is one habit of Shahid's
that annoys you,
35:44.320 --> 35:45.880
or Mira, or anyone at home?
35:45.960 --> 35:47.920
Annoys me, or annoys her?
35:48.000 --> 35:50.040
- Generally, everybody.
- See, category.
35:50.120 --> 35:51.880
- Yeah. Go ahead.
- We need a category.
35:51.960 --> 35:53.800
- Okay, she gets annoyed.
- Generally everybody.
35:53.880 --> 35:55.640
- You tell us.
- Is that you preach a lot.
35:55.720 --> 35:57.920
- No, it is his attitude--
- Is it that… that is it, right?
35:58.000 --> 36:00.320
- Yeah!
- I knew it!
36:02.880 --> 36:03.840
That's the one.
36:03.920 --> 36:05.840
Ishaan, she won again.
36:06.480 --> 36:09.520
It looks like the game's been rigged, and
your headphones aren't even plugged in,
36:09.600 --> 36:11.800
- so you're out, man.
- See, this is what always happens.
36:11.880 --> 36:14.280
- I can't win any game.
- Okay, put them back on.
36:14.360 --> 36:15.880
- Hey--
- Quickly, quickly.
36:16.640 --> 36:21.840
Name one vegetable
that you don't like at all.
36:22.680 --> 36:24.320
- Eggplant.
- Okay.
36:24.400 --> 36:26.520
- No, I'll take them off first this time.
- Yes.
36:26.600 --> 36:28.480
- Okay.
- Okay.
36:29.200 --> 36:30.600
- Don't take it off, Mira.
- Hold it.
36:30.680 --> 36:32.520
- Yes. Yes.
- Hold it.
36:33.200 --> 36:36.080
- Ask!
- Name one vegetable that Shahid hates.
36:36.160 --> 36:37.440
- A vegetable?
- Yes.
36:37.520 --> 36:38.920
You take your headphones off.
36:43.120 --> 36:44.760
One moment.
36:46.080 --> 36:47.920
I should at least attempt an answer.
36:49.520 --> 36:50.360
Eggplant?
36:50.440 --> 36:53.240
- Wow!
- Yes!
36:53.320 --> 36:55.640
Yes, yes, you're right.
36:55.720 --> 36:58.720
Name one vegetable
that Shahid doesn't like at all.
36:58.800 --> 37:00.440
Spinach, mustard greens.
37:02.080 --> 37:04.120
Mira has a variety of answers
for everything.
37:05.800 --> 37:09.080
Mushroom. Mushroom.
37:11.480 --> 37:12.320
There are too many.
37:13.040 --> 37:15.440
It starts with eggplant.
37:15.520 --> 37:18.480
Eggplant, mushroom,
spinach, mustard greens.
37:19.160 --> 37:20.320
It's not that Mira lost.
37:20.400 --> 37:22.320
Mira just knows more vegetables
he doesn't like.
37:22.400 --> 37:24.720
First runner-up. First runner-up.
37:26.000 --> 37:29.400
Do you mean any eggplant dish?
Like Punjabis really love mashed eggplant.
37:29.480 --> 37:32.080
- Actually, actually--
- She's the one who "mashes" him.
37:37.000 --> 37:39.160
You have to come to our house tonight.
37:39.960 --> 37:42.880
He's a very sore loser in games.
37:42.960 --> 37:43.800
- Very sore.
- Yeah.
37:43.880 --> 37:45.280
He'll vent now.
37:45.360 --> 37:47.040
He's a Scorpio, so he's very…
37:47.880 --> 37:52.480
An Ayurvedic doctor told me
that the word "baingan" comes
37:52.560 --> 37:53.840
from the word "be-gun,"
37:53.920 --> 37:54.760
"Be-gun."
37:54.840 --> 37:56.400
- It's said, inside it--
- Negative energy.
37:56.480 --> 37:58.000
- It has no nutrients at all.
- None.
37:58.080 --> 37:58.920
Is it?
37:59.000 --> 38:00.960
Ever since he told me,
I lost interest in eating it.
38:01.040 --> 38:03.320
- They said it has no nutritional value.
- Yeah.
38:03.400 --> 38:05.600
Mummy, why have you been
feeding me this since childhood?
38:08.720 --> 38:11.680
Her family makes one dish
that I still don't understand.
38:11.760 --> 38:13.360
- What?
- It's called tomato curry.
38:13.440 --> 38:15.000
Okay.
38:15.080 --> 38:17.320
To me, tomatoes serve
as a separate base in a dish.
38:17.400 --> 38:18.600
- You know?
- Yes.
38:18.680 --> 38:19.720
You make chutney with it.
38:19.800 --> 38:21.720
- You add onions and tomatoes…
- That's what it is.
38:21.800 --> 38:23.080
…to make okra or any other dish.
38:23.160 --> 38:24.440
Tomato curry?
38:25.040 --> 38:28.480
And the way they eat it,
38:28.560 --> 38:32.480
like it's a motichoor ladoo. You know?
38:34.880 --> 38:35.720
Excellent.
38:35.800 --> 38:38.520
- Come home next time--
- No, tell everyone about this tomato curry
38:38.600 --> 38:42.800
that you all spread on toast
and eat like this.
38:43.600 --> 38:46.400
Tomato curry is the pride
of the royal Rajput clan.
38:48.840 --> 38:51.360
For all us sons-in-law, when it comes out,
38:51.440 --> 38:53.280
there's a whole buildup first.
38:53.360 --> 38:55.400
"The tomato curry is coming."
38:55.480 --> 38:59.720
"Oh, God! Mumma, you really made it?
Oh, my God!" Like that.
39:00.280 --> 39:01.120
Finally…
39:01.640 --> 39:03.160
And it finally when it reaches the table,
39:03.240 --> 39:07.480
then you just stare
at that tomato curry like this.
39:07.560 --> 39:09.360
"Oh, my God! What am I eating today?"
39:11.440 --> 39:13.480
- Finally, every son-in-law…
- The grand buildup!
39:13.560 --> 39:15.800
…spreads tomato curry on his toast
like this.
39:17.120 --> 39:17.960
And then he eats it.
39:19.240 --> 39:20.560
Oh, lovely, lovely.
39:20.640 --> 39:25.000
"Wow! What an amazing tomato curry!"
39:28.400 --> 39:32.200
Paaji, it was great visiting
The Great Indian Cooking Show.
39:36.080 --> 39:37.920
We've only cooked one dish so far.
39:42.240 --> 39:43.920
Let's get back to the questions now. Okay.
39:46.200 --> 39:50.080
Shahid bhai,
sometimes we are all mere mortals.
39:50.160 --> 39:52.080
- But we--
- Sometimes we are mortals.
39:52.160 --> 39:54.960
Sometimes.
And sometimes a mortal gets angry.
39:55.040 --> 39:56.360
- Yes, true.
- When you get angry,
39:56.440 --> 39:57.840
what do you do in that moment?
39:59.080 --> 40:01.480
When I get angry, I actually
40:01.560 --> 40:05.800
say very critical things
very flatly, just as they are.
40:06.680 --> 40:09.200
Which is probably hard
for people to take in.
40:09.720 --> 40:12.080
Or else I go completely silent.
40:12.160 --> 40:13.640
- Okay.
- One of the two.
40:13.720 --> 40:15.520
You get the first chance.
40:15.600 --> 40:18.800
When Shahid gets angry,
what is the first thing he does?
40:18.880 --> 40:21.240
Go, beta, dive into your lifelong trauma.
40:25.440 --> 40:28.200
What's the first thing he does
when he's angry?
40:28.280 --> 40:31.520
When he's angry, first of all,
I think he goes silent.
40:31.600 --> 40:33.760
- Yes.
- Right.
40:38.160 --> 40:40.840
- You got it right.
- The real research will come from here.
40:41.560 --> 40:43.040
Mira, if Shahid gets angry,
40:43.120 --> 40:46.640
what does he instantly do
when he loses his temper?
40:49.480 --> 40:51.040
Either you get angry or you don't.
40:51.680 --> 40:53.560
I've seen him lose his temper
so many times.
40:53.640 --> 40:56.280
- Many different expressions of his anger.
- She's talking as if
40:56.360 --> 40:57.800
he has ten heads like Ravana!
40:58.440 --> 41:00.880
"I've seen so many of his forms."
41:04.520 --> 41:06.000
Mira is just wondering, "What…"
41:06.080 --> 41:08.360
Either he goes completely silent.
41:08.440 --> 41:10.280
- Yeah!
- The lady won! She won!
41:12.120 --> 41:13.200
- Or?
- Or?
41:13.280 --> 41:16.000
Or he goes out for a walk.
41:16.080 --> 41:16.920
- Yeah.
- He just…
41:17.000 --> 41:18.840
- He quietly takes a walk.
- You both are right.
41:18.920 --> 41:20.080
Both of you.
41:20.160 --> 41:22.640
- Okay, last question.
- I'll answer first.
41:22.720 --> 41:25.000
- Yes, okay.
- Right.
41:25.080 --> 41:26.760
- Too much pressure.
- Insecurity.
41:29.600 --> 41:31.160
- Shahid bhai.
- Yes.
41:31.240 --> 41:34.920
Between you and Ishaan,
who do you think is the best dancer?
41:35.000 --> 41:36.120
There are two answers to this.
41:36.880 --> 41:38.760
If I learn the steps, I'm better.
41:39.400 --> 41:42.040
But for freestyle,
nobody can even come close to him.
41:42.120 --> 41:44.160
- I see. Wow.
- He's a great freestyle dancer.
41:45.400 --> 41:46.240
Okay.
41:47.200 --> 41:49.920
We were going to ask you
for that answer anyway.
41:51.360 --> 41:55.880
Between Shahid and Ishaan,
who do you think is the best dancer?
42:00.560 --> 42:04.240
The right answer is Ishaan,
but my true answer is Shahid.
42:05.120 --> 42:07.040
- Wonderful.
- Even you said Sha--
42:07.120 --> 42:08.280
Yeah, so I won again.
42:08.960 --> 42:11.600
Who do you think is the better dancer,
you or Shahid?
42:11.680 --> 42:13.520
What kind of absurd question is this?
42:16.760 --> 42:18.520
He's the master, and I'm the disciple.
42:18.600 --> 42:21.000
How could I ever say I am superior to him?
42:21.080 --> 42:22.480
- He's the one.
- Incredible!
42:26.200 --> 42:28.040
But you missed the backhanded part.
42:28.120 --> 42:30.880
"He's the master, I'm the disciple.
How can I say I am superior?"
42:30.960 --> 42:32.120
- That's why…
- "So, he's better."
42:36.120 --> 42:37.480
- You know what Shahid said?
- Tell me.
42:37.560 --> 42:39.120
"If I am learning the steps
from somewhere,
42:39.200 --> 42:41.360
no one is better than me.
But if it comes to freestyle,
42:41.440 --> 42:42.760
- Ishaan's the best."
- That's true.
42:42.840 --> 42:44.160
- Yes.
- The move you made…
42:44.240 --> 42:45.240
Wow!
42:45.320 --> 42:47.640
"He's my master. How can I say
that I am better than him?"
42:49.080 --> 42:50.520
Let's find out today.
42:52.920 --> 42:54.520
Man, this will be a blast!
42:56.400 --> 42:58.240
Let's do it. What shall we do?
43:04.440 --> 43:06.400
We'll enjoy it from the front.
43:07.560 --> 43:08.560
Do a good job.
43:54.720 --> 43:56.160
Man!
43:56.240 --> 43:58.040
Both brothers are pure dynamite!
44:36.040 --> 44:37.240
Superb!
44:38.720 --> 44:40.400
Superb, bro!
44:41.080 --> 44:46.160
- Brilliant!
- Once more! Once more! Once more!
44:48.120 --> 44:48.960
Superb!
44:50.680 --> 44:55.040
Guys, watching you both dance live
44:55.120 --> 44:57.640
has been one of
my biggest treats to watch.
44:57.720 --> 44:58.720
Thank you.
44:58.800 --> 45:01.040
- Absolutely!
- Thank you so much.
45:01.120 --> 45:04.480
But I also know all the talent
in the family
45:04.560 --> 45:06.240
isn't just in Ishaan or Shahid alone.
45:06.320 --> 45:08.400
We have a very talented lady here.
45:08.480 --> 45:10.440
- Now we're talking!
- Isn't that how you'd say it?
45:10.520 --> 45:11.680
How wonderful!
45:11.760 --> 45:13.960
You play the piano beautifully.
45:14.040 --> 45:16.320
So, Mira, let's have you play the piano.
45:17.880 --> 45:20.080
Wow! What a surprise.
46:34.920 --> 46:36.080
Beautiful!
46:36.160 --> 46:38.280
Well done, well done!
46:39.320 --> 46:40.280
Well done!
46:41.200 --> 46:43.440
- Incredibly done!
- Wow!
46:45.560 --> 46:46.480
Too good.
46:46.560 --> 46:48.920
"Dil ka dariya" with such feeling, wow!
46:49.640 --> 46:52.320
I was so tempted to jump in
and be the third wheel.
46:52.400 --> 46:54.560
- So lovely.
- Only this time, he didn't.
46:54.640 --> 46:56.440
Not this time, for the first time!
46:57.320 --> 46:58.360
Good thinking!
47:01.760 --> 47:03.240
We won't do all the talking.
47:03.320 --> 47:05.920
If you'd like to talk to our guests,
47:06.000 --> 47:08.160
please raise your hand. You'll get a mic.
47:08.240 --> 47:10.440
- Hello.
- Namaste. How are you?
47:10.520 --> 47:13.200
- I'm doing well. My name is Rupal.
- Yes, Rupal.
47:13.280 --> 47:15.560
- Happy Diwali to everyone.
- Wish you the same.
47:15.640 --> 47:20.000
Mira ji, just as you have Shahid
in your life, I have Yash in mine.
47:20.080 --> 47:23.160
And we are getting married in December.
47:23.240 --> 47:25.400
- Oh, congratulations to you!
- Thank you.
47:25.480 --> 47:28.920
Since I'm getting married soon,
I wanted to ask you something.
47:29.000 --> 47:30.920
You've completed 11 years of marriage.
47:31.000 --> 47:33.520
- You'll complete 11 years of marriage too.
- Yes.
47:34.160 --> 47:35.720
So I wanted to ask you,
47:35.800 --> 47:39.160
what tips would you give
for a happy married life?
47:39.240 --> 47:40.600
First, don't do it.
47:42.760 --> 47:44.040
That is my tip.
47:48.200 --> 47:50.800
I think friendship is very important.
47:50.880 --> 47:53.360
Because you go through different phases.
47:53.440 --> 47:56.720
It's one way in the beginning.
Then you have kids, and they grow up.
47:57.560 --> 47:58.640
But I feel
47:58.720 --> 48:02.200
that the friendship between us
has always been there.
48:02.280 --> 48:06.240
Even when we fight, we can
still talk to each other like friends.
48:06.320 --> 48:09.400
So I think friendship is most important.
48:09.480 --> 48:10.800
"Love is friendship."
48:10.880 --> 48:12.560
Yes, Ms. Briganza!
48:15.680 --> 48:18.920
Provided the husband knows
the limit of that friendship.
48:19.000 --> 48:21.560
Your wife can be your friend,
but that doesn't mean you tell her,
48:21.640 --> 48:23.040
"Come meet my girlfriend."
48:23.120 --> 48:24.400
Don't…
48:26.400 --> 48:29.560
No, I should mention
that we've been together since school.
48:29.640 --> 48:32.560
Oh, so you know each other so well.
48:32.640 --> 48:33.880
That's perfect.
48:33.960 --> 48:36.920
- You must even know his hemoglobin count.
- Yes!
48:37.640 --> 48:38.800
Since what grade?
48:38.880 --> 48:41.400
- Since fifth grade.
- Since fifth grade?
48:41.480 --> 48:44.080
You attained enlightenment back then
that he's the one?
48:44.160 --> 48:45.920
No, he was my crush since school…
48:46.000 --> 48:47.080
- I see.
- …but we were quite--
48:47.160 --> 48:49.000
- And finally you decided to crush him!
- Yes.
48:50.760 --> 48:52.560
- Well, congratulations to you both…
- Thank you.
48:52.640 --> 48:53.640
…on your wedding.
48:54.200 --> 48:57.960
Stay happy and prosperous,
whether you're in Delhi or Ghaziabad. Yes?
48:58.760 --> 48:59.680
Yes, ma'am.
48:59.760 --> 49:01.000
- Hello.
- Hello.
49:01.080 --> 49:02.800
Good evening, everyone.
49:02.880 --> 49:06.440
- And happy Diwali to all of you.
- Happy Diwali, ma'am.
49:06.520 --> 49:08.280
Today's question of mine is for Mira ji.
49:08.360 --> 49:09.800
Today's? What did you ask yesterday?
49:10.800 --> 49:12.080
Yes.
49:12.160 --> 49:15.960
Ma'am, considering the movies
Shahid sir has done…
49:16.040 --> 49:18.520
Like, there was the movie Vivah,
49:18.600 --> 49:21.160
which had a very modest
portrayal of romance.
49:21.240 --> 49:23.920
Then came Kabir Singh,
49:24.000 --> 49:27.280
with its intense portrayal of romance.
49:27.360 --> 49:29.960
After that came Cocktail 2,
49:30.040 --> 49:32.720
in which he romanced two actresses.
49:32.800 --> 49:34.240
- Modest romance.
- So…
49:34.320 --> 49:35.640
Are you writing a thesis?
49:37.960 --> 49:40.560
So I wanted to ask,
don't you ever get jealous?
49:40.640 --> 49:42.400
Because this is my experience.
49:42.480 --> 49:47.400
Even if my husband gets a call
from a female colleague,
49:47.480 --> 49:50.160
I put my ear to the phone to hear
what they're talking about.
49:50.240 --> 49:53.160
And sometimes, when we're out
49:53.240 --> 49:55.400
and a beautiful woman walks past,
49:55.480 --> 49:58.600
I look at my husband first
to see if he's checking her out. So…
49:58.680 --> 49:59.600
Let the man live!
50:02.120 --> 50:04.680
He does so much romance on screen.
50:04.760 --> 50:06.760
Don't you ever get jealous of that?
50:06.840 --> 50:10.000
Well, I'll give you
my point of view on this.
50:10.080 --> 50:13.120
I feel that if either of you
50:13.640 --> 50:16.920
feels jealous or insecure,
50:17.000 --> 50:19.600
perhaps you haven't been
50:19.680 --> 50:21.720
entirely open with each other.
50:21.800 --> 50:25.080
If you believe in yourself
and know that you're enough,
50:25.160 --> 50:29.880
you'll know
he'll love you just as you are.
50:29.960 --> 50:34.320
I have to say,
he has never let me feel jealous.
50:34.400 --> 50:37.400
He has always been so,
50:37.480 --> 50:39.120
- you know, like…
- Thank you so much.
50:39.200 --> 50:40.600
Yeah, he's been very good with that.
50:40.680 --> 50:44.280
She's like, "Oh, so that's how it is!
I broke his legs unnecessarily!"
50:46.560 --> 50:47.720
Listen, madam!
50:48.760 --> 50:51.080
A relationship without trust
is no relationship at all.
50:54.680 --> 50:55.680
Thank you so much.
50:56.920 --> 50:58.680
Now I'll finally come sit there.
50:58.760 --> 51:00.520
- I'll take my spot.
- There he goes.
51:00.600 --> 51:02.920
- Yeah.
- This is what always happens.
51:04.240 --> 51:07.400
"My Karan-Arjun will return!"
51:09.600 --> 51:13.280
"They'll tear the earth apart to return!"
51:13.360 --> 51:16.320
"They'll shatter the heavens to return."
51:24.120 --> 51:24.960
Oh, hello!
51:30.320 --> 51:33.440
Sidhu ji, don't you worry!
51:33.520 --> 51:36.440
- My Karan-Arjun will come!
- Will come!
51:36.520 --> 51:37.880
Wait and see--
51:40.000 --> 51:42.960
- They are here!
- They are here!
51:43.040 --> 51:47.040
My Karan-Arjun have come!
My Karan-Arjun are here!
51:47.120 --> 51:48.560
- My Karan-Arjun are here!
- Ma!
51:48.640 --> 51:50.400
Ma'am, they're Shahid and Ishaan.
51:50.480 --> 51:53.280
Oh, sorry. My bad, son. My bad.
51:53.360 --> 51:56.600
Son, seeing such lovely brothers
makes me feel
51:56.680 --> 51:58.640
like my Karan-Arjun have returned.
51:58.720 --> 51:59.760
- Ma'am.
- Yes, son?
51:59.840 --> 52:01.200
- May I go?
- Yeah, go.
52:02.160 --> 52:04.080
- Happy Diwali, ma'am.
- Happy Diwali, son.
52:04.600 --> 52:06.520
Ma'am! Happy Diwali.
52:07.120 --> 52:08.280
Happy Diwali, dear.
52:09.120 --> 52:11.320
I'm wishing you a happy Diwali, ma'am!
52:11.400 --> 52:14.080
And I wish you a very
happy Diwali too, son!
52:15.080 --> 52:16.440
Ma'am, you don't get it.
52:16.520 --> 52:18.520
If one's wishing you
a happy Diwali two or three times,
52:18.600 --> 52:20.080
they are expecting festive gratuities.
52:21.080 --> 52:22.560
- Yeah.
- I didn't get that!
52:22.640 --> 52:23.640
I get it now.
52:23.720 --> 52:26.480
It's polite to give some
festive gratuities.
52:26.560 --> 52:28.200
Hey, keep this.
52:28.280 --> 52:29.840
Wishing you a very happy…
52:38.280 --> 52:40.880
Happy Diwali, Shahid Boss.
52:42.840 --> 52:45.280
- Happy Diwali, Master Ishaan.
- Happy Diwali.
52:45.360 --> 52:47.680
- Happy Diwali, Mira madam.
- Happy Diwali.
52:48.440 --> 52:50.920
Son, enlighten them with
the same wisdom you shared with me.
52:55.400 --> 52:59.360
Brother, I forgot to tell you that people
come here begging with ridiculous excuses.
52:59.440 --> 53:00.320
Be aware.
53:00.880 --> 53:02.640
Son, I don't do it for fun.
53:04.240 --> 53:06.200
Careful, your lower lip might fall off.
53:11.600 --> 53:13.040
I am helpless, son.
53:14.840 --> 53:18.480
You know my bangles are still pawned
with the moneylender.
53:18.560 --> 53:19.880
- "Pebbles"?
- "Pebbles"?
53:19.960 --> 53:21.240
Bangles!
53:21.320 --> 53:22.880
Bangles!
53:22.960 --> 53:25.440
- We thought she pawned pebbles!
- Pebbles.
53:25.520 --> 53:27.920
Why would I pawn pebbles
with the moneylender, dear?
53:30.120 --> 53:31.600
And I need to get them back.
53:31.680 --> 53:34.600
So I always need some money.
53:34.680 --> 53:35.840
She's acting all innocent here.
53:35.920 --> 53:38.400
At night, she stands on the highway
with a candle and robs drivers.
53:39.600 --> 53:40.960
Son, I quit that job.
53:45.200 --> 53:47.000
It feels so good to see you both.
53:47.080 --> 53:50.760
Look at these two brothers!
So sweet and well-mannered.
53:50.840 --> 53:52.480
I have two sons.
53:52.560 --> 53:54.360
For ten days, I've been telling them
53:54.440 --> 53:58.000
to clean the house for Diwali,
but they refuse.
53:58.080 --> 53:59.440
They just don't listen to me!
53:59.520 --> 54:01.640
Both of them are really stubborn.
54:07.640 --> 54:08.760
It seems they're here.
54:27.640 --> 54:28.600
Krushna!
54:43.840 --> 54:46.800
Namaskar. Adab. Sat Sri Akal. Kem cho?
54:50.800 --> 54:52.960
- Which festival?
- Diwali. Diwali.
54:53.040 --> 54:54.840
"Which festival?"
54:57.880 --> 54:59.040
- Happy Diwali.
- Happy Diwali.
54:59.120 --> 55:02.400
Wait a minute, bhaiya! Listen!
55:03.640 --> 55:05.480
That was a rather short wish.
55:06.200 --> 55:07.280
Make it a bit bigger.
55:07.840 --> 55:10.520
Stretch the wish a bit longer.
Make it bigger.
55:10.600 --> 55:11.640
Why?
55:12.720 --> 55:15.080
We stream in 192 countries, man!
55:15.600 --> 55:16.720
- Yeah, okay.
- Come on.
55:19.480 --> 55:21.160
Happy Diwali to all.
55:24.720 --> 55:27.320
Oh, man.
55:28.320 --> 55:30.520
We're wishing them a happy Diwali, bhaiya.
55:31.440 --> 55:33.280
This isn't your usual weekend TV show.
55:34.400 --> 55:36.160
That one will be back next week.
55:37.400 --> 55:39.400
Please put some energy into it!
55:40.320 --> 55:41.320
Look, watch this.
55:41.400 --> 55:42.400
Shahid!
55:43.760 --> 55:46.440
I wish you a very happy Diwali!
55:46.520 --> 55:47.600
This…
55:48.560 --> 55:49.680
Like this.
55:52.120 --> 55:54.320
- Wow!
- Show some energy!
55:54.400 --> 55:56.400
- Just say it normally.
- What?
55:57.120 --> 55:58.760
Why go so over the top?
55:59.680 --> 56:01.080
- Over?
- Yeah.
56:01.160 --> 56:03.840
I don't even play cricket,
so why would I bowl an over?
56:03.920 --> 56:06.400
I make people play hockey, bhaiya. Hockey!
56:07.720 --> 56:09.040
Look at the goal.
56:14.800 --> 56:15.960
Seventy minutes…
56:16.600 --> 56:19.120
- "Look at the goal!"
- We only have 70 minutes.
56:19.200 --> 56:20.480
Look at the goal.
56:23.160 --> 56:26.200
Kids! Oh, my Karan-Arjun!
56:26.840 --> 56:28.680
Hey, son! Wait!
56:28.760 --> 56:30.680
Hey!
56:30.760 --> 56:32.880
Why are you walking off? Listen to me!
56:32.960 --> 56:35.840
I asked you both to clean the house.
56:35.920 --> 56:37.920
- Did you clean, son?
- Mom…
56:39.320 --> 56:41.400
Why did I sound like Bachchan sahab?
56:51.920 --> 56:52.800
Mom!
56:54.440 --> 56:56.280
Dirty closets in the house,
56:57.440 --> 56:58.920
Mom's filthy saris…
56:59.000 --> 57:00.400
Oh, wonderful!
57:00.480 --> 57:02.000
…I will not wash them.
57:03.440 --> 57:05.040
Jab Tak Hai Maa!
57:05.920 --> 57:07.920
- Jab Tak Hai Maa!
- What is this?
57:08.000 --> 57:09.200
Jab Tak Hai Maa!
57:11.600 --> 57:15.280
With all these antics of yours,
your mom won't last much longer!
57:16.840 --> 57:18.400
He's completely useless.
57:18.480 --> 57:20.040
Oh, my sweet son.
57:21.440 --> 57:23.240
Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
57:23.320 --> 57:26.680
I told you to sweep. Did you
hit the floor with the broom or not?
57:26.760 --> 57:28.920
It's Saturday. I hit shoulders and biceps.
57:33.560 --> 57:38.240
Son, working out your shoulders
and biceps won't clean the house.
57:38.320 --> 57:40.520
Only sweeping will.
57:40.600 --> 57:41.440
He's just--
57:41.520 --> 57:45.640
Hey, son, I asked you to clean
that cooler. Did you do it?
57:45.720 --> 57:47.880
Why should I clean something
I don't even use?
57:49.080 --> 57:50.760
- How do you not use it, son?
- No, no, no.
57:50.840 --> 57:52.880
All three of us share the same room.
57:53.720 --> 57:56.040
But you sleep right in front
of the cooler.
57:58.080 --> 58:00.360
I sleep at the back.
You block all the air.
58:00.440 --> 58:02.320
Yes, absolutely right, bhaiya!
58:03.280 --> 58:06.320
All night long, you block
the cold air from the cooler.
58:06.960 --> 58:10.520
And all night long,
we get to deal with Mom breaking wind.
58:17.000 --> 58:18.360
I…
58:18.440 --> 58:20.280
- Do you all see this?
- Very bad.
58:20.360 --> 58:23.040
- Absolutely.
- What kind of sons has God given me!
58:24.080 --> 58:26.280
Honestly, I wish God
58:26.360 --> 58:29.240
had given me ginger
instead of these two sons!
58:29.320 --> 58:30.880
- Ginger!
- At least I could crush it
58:30.960 --> 58:32.640
and put it in my tea!
58:42.160 --> 58:43.600
No matter what she says,
58:44.280 --> 58:45.520
we are still happy
58:46.360 --> 58:48.440
- that we got a mom.
- Oh, son.
58:49.160 --> 58:51.720
Because what would we even do
with so much ginger?
58:57.040 --> 58:58.560
I'm telling you the truth, Kapil.
58:59.440 --> 59:03.280
With that much ginger in the tea,
59:04.360 --> 59:07.240
forget the milk curdling.
The whole buffalo would explode!
59:15.280 --> 59:16.840
I don't like her. I don't like her.
59:16.920 --> 59:18.160
- Me too.
- I hate her. I hate her.
59:18.240 --> 59:19.480
Hold on a minute.
59:19.560 --> 59:22.000
You two don't get the importance
of cleaning the house.
59:22.080 --> 59:26.680
Keeping the house clean is important.
If it's dirty, what will people say, son?
59:26.760 --> 59:29.000
No. I hate her from the core of my heart.
59:29.600 --> 59:31.280
No, I don't like her.
59:31.360 --> 59:34.480
- I don't like her.
- I don't like you either, son!
59:35.760 --> 59:37.720
Why are you always
giving attitude for no reason?
59:47.280 --> 59:51.120
Son, did someone stick potatoes
under your armpits?
59:51.920 --> 59:53.160
Like this…
59:55.480 --> 59:58.720
Son, bending down a little won't kill you.
59:58.800 --> 01:00:00.480
Sweep and mop the floor!
01:00:00.560 --> 01:00:01.520
And you…
01:00:02.440 --> 01:00:04.840
- Stay there.
- What is this?
01:00:04.920 --> 01:00:05.920
Why do you keep doing that?
01:00:06.600 --> 01:00:09.160
If you want to keep doing that,
then grab a broom.
01:00:09.240 --> 01:00:12.080
At least the house will get cleaned
in the process. Like this!
01:00:17.640 --> 01:00:18.520
See that?
01:00:20.200 --> 01:00:22.120
She shook the whole stage!
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:26.360
Bhaiya, don't relax.
01:00:27.120 --> 01:00:30.880
- Listen, the poor thing is furious.
- Yeah.
01:00:30.960 --> 01:00:32.720
Let's just clean the house.
01:00:35.160 --> 01:00:37.480
Enough with the "hmm"!
Come on, let's clean.
01:00:38.120 --> 01:00:41.320
If I don't go "hmm," how will people
know I'm playing Shah Rukh?
01:00:44.680 --> 01:00:46.400
- Alright, come on.
- That's true.
01:00:46.960 --> 01:00:48.760
- Let's clean the house.
- Okay.
01:00:48.840 --> 01:00:49.800
Is that okay?
01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:51.360
- Okay.
- Okay. That's a deal.
01:00:51.440 --> 01:00:54.280
- What's the deal? What is it?
- It's a deal. Mom, I'll tell you.
01:00:54.360 --> 01:00:57.280
Bhaiya, you clean this table.
01:00:57.360 --> 01:00:58.280
- Okay.
- Yeah.
01:00:58.360 --> 01:01:00.160
- I'll clean this sofa.
- Okay?
01:01:00.240 --> 01:01:03.960
- And, Mom, you clean the floor.
- Okay.
01:01:04.040 --> 01:01:06.280
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Done deal? Done deal.
01:01:06.360 --> 01:01:08.360
- I'll clean the floor.
- Done deal?
01:01:08.440 --> 01:01:10.440
- Okay.
- The floor's clean. Not much to do.
01:01:10.520 --> 01:01:11.360
Good for me.
01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:13.360
This is the table
I'm supposed to clean, right?
01:01:13.440 --> 01:01:14.520
Yeah.
01:01:16.360 --> 01:01:17.440
Okay.
01:01:17.520 --> 01:01:18.960
Clean it properly, son.
01:01:19.040 --> 01:01:20.120
Good.
01:01:27.880 --> 01:01:30.360
My job is done.
Look at this, it's so clean.
01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:32.040
- No.
- It's so clean, it's lovely.
01:01:32.120 --> 01:01:34.000
- Don't worry, Mom. I'll…
- Is this how you clean?
01:01:34.080 --> 01:01:35.400
I'm right here. Don't worry.
01:01:43.760 --> 01:01:44.800
What did you do?
01:01:44.880 --> 01:01:47.480
I cleaned the sofa too.
Now you handle the floor.
01:02:02.320 --> 01:02:03.440
Wow!
01:02:03.520 --> 01:02:05.720
Bravo, son! What a brilliant method!
01:02:06.440 --> 01:02:09.400
If you don't want to clean the house,
then don't!
01:02:09.480 --> 01:02:11.640
I'm not dying for your help!
01:02:11.720 --> 01:02:13.040
Won't clean the house.
01:02:13.120 --> 01:02:15.760
I bought Diwali gifts for you two,
01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:17.600
but you won't get them now!
01:02:17.680 --> 01:02:19.960
It's not as though you've bought us a PS5!
01:02:20.600 --> 01:02:23.440
You probably got that clapping monkey.
I hate that.
01:02:23.520 --> 01:02:25.960
- I know her. I know her.
- Mom…
01:02:26.480 --> 01:02:28.360
Please give me my gift, Mom.
01:02:28.440 --> 01:02:30.960
- You want your gift?
- I want my gift, Mom, please.
01:02:31.040 --> 01:02:33.400
- I got you a gift, son.
- Please.
01:02:33.480 --> 01:02:36.080
I bought kutra pajamas for you.
01:02:36.160 --> 01:02:37.680
"Kutra pajamas."
01:02:37.760 --> 01:02:39.400
- "Kutra."
- Kutra pajamas.
01:02:40.600 --> 01:02:41.760
She's doing comedy.
01:02:45.200 --> 01:02:46.160
"Kutra"?
01:02:46.240 --> 01:02:49.160
It's not "kutra" pajamas.
It's kurta-pajamas.
01:02:50.040 --> 01:02:51.720
- No, son.
- What?
01:02:51.800 --> 01:02:53.320
I really mean kutra pajamas.
01:02:53.400 --> 01:02:54.720
- Kutra?
- Look at this.
01:02:54.800 --> 01:02:56.920
Kutra pajamas!
01:03:00.840 --> 01:03:03.800
These are kutra pajamas.
01:03:03.880 --> 01:03:06.560
Since you wear clothes
that look chewed up!
01:03:07.520 --> 01:03:09.560
- It'll suit you, son.
- Sure, Mom.
01:03:10.080 --> 01:03:12.400
Pathaan will wear this chewed-up rag
to the next party.
01:03:13.200 --> 01:03:14.480
I like it.
01:03:14.560 --> 01:03:17.760
Yeah! I like it, Mom.
01:03:17.840 --> 01:03:19.400
And what did you bring for me?
01:03:20.080 --> 01:03:22.880
Oh, so now you want your gift too?
01:03:23.720 --> 01:03:26.680
Son, there's no point buying shirts
or clothes for you.
01:03:26.760 --> 01:03:27.920
I'm telling you the truth.
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:30.760
I bought him so many shirts.
01:03:30.840 --> 01:03:34.600
Wherever he goes,
he takes off his shirt and throws it away.
01:03:38.760 --> 01:03:41.160
A total waste of money.
01:03:42.200 --> 01:03:43.480
Okay.
01:03:43.560 --> 01:03:44.840
- Okay.
- You didn't get me anything.
01:03:44.920 --> 01:03:45.880
Leave it on, son.
01:03:46.400 --> 01:03:47.760
No, don't! Son!
01:03:48.600 --> 01:03:49.760
Leave it on.
01:03:50.520 --> 01:03:51.400
Son…
01:03:51.480 --> 01:03:53.280
- What…
- Son…
01:03:54.280 --> 01:03:55.920
What are you doing, bhaiya?
01:03:56.560 --> 01:03:58.040
Bhaiya! What…
01:03:58.800 --> 01:04:01.080
Bhaiya, no! Wait a minute!
01:04:01.160 --> 01:04:02.000
No.
01:04:03.480 --> 01:04:05.240
No. No.
01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:09.400
- No!
- Hey, don't pull my pants down!
01:04:11.400 --> 01:04:12.760
- Bhaiya, no.
- Okay.
01:04:12.840 --> 01:04:15.200
- It's not that kind of show! Please.
- Okay, okay.
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:18.520
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Calm down. Calm down.
01:04:18.600 --> 01:04:19.440
Calm down.
01:04:19.520 --> 01:04:21.760
What do you mean by "kaam" down?
You're doing great!
01:04:24.400 --> 01:04:25.360
So bad.
01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:28.880
First, turn up your volume, son.
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:41.480
If I can't hear you right here,
how will anyone else?
01:04:44.880 --> 01:04:48.720
I've been pleading with you both
to clean the house for Diwali.
01:04:48.800 --> 01:04:50.000
You two never listen!
01:04:50.080 --> 01:04:53.840
And if you're not going to clean,
at least put up these lights I got.
01:04:53.920 --> 01:04:55.240
At least get this done.
01:04:55.320 --> 01:04:57.440
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, okay.
01:04:57.520 --> 01:04:59.320
- Put up the lights.
- Yeah.
01:04:59.400 --> 01:05:01.000
- We'll put them up, bro.
- These?
01:05:01.080 --> 01:05:02.080
You can stand here.
01:05:02.160 --> 01:05:03.520
Okay, stand here.
01:05:03.600 --> 01:05:04.840
Putting up the lights?
01:05:04.920 --> 01:05:08.440
- Yes, we will, Mom. Here, hold this.
- I'll hold it, but where do they go?
01:05:08.520 --> 01:05:09.800
This work…
01:05:09.880 --> 01:05:12.480
- Bhaiya, do one thing.
- Put them over there.
01:05:12.560 --> 01:05:13.560
- Where?
- That way.
01:05:13.640 --> 01:05:17.040
- No, start with him first.
- Start with him?
01:05:17.120 --> 01:05:20.000
- He's younger. Go that way.
- No, no. Go towards bhaiya.
01:05:20.080 --> 01:05:20.920
Wait, with him--
01:05:21.000 --> 01:05:22.240
- Start with him.
- Start with him.
01:05:22.320 --> 01:05:23.440
- Hold on--
- Him first!
01:05:23.520 --> 01:05:25.040
- Decide who goes first!
- Bhaiya first.
01:05:25.120 --> 01:05:26.640
- Stay right there.
- All done.
01:05:26.720 --> 01:05:27.920
- Just stand here.
- Wait, bhaiya.
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:29.880
Bhaiya, look at this.
01:05:36.520 --> 01:05:37.400
Wow.
01:05:40.560 --> 01:05:41.600
Son…
01:05:41.680 --> 01:05:44.120
don't decorate me! Decorate the house!
01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:46.120
You look great, Mom!
01:05:47.520 --> 01:05:49.320
Son, what are you doing?
01:05:49.400 --> 01:05:50.600
Here, wear this.
01:05:50.680 --> 01:05:53.240
Kapil, I saw an octopus
just like this in the Maldives.
01:05:58.000 --> 01:05:59.120
Hey, what are you…
01:06:00.760 --> 01:06:01.840
All good?
01:06:10.320 --> 01:06:12.040
HAPPY DEEPAVALI
01:06:12.120 --> 01:06:13.960
"Happy Deepavali!"
01:06:36.120 --> 01:06:37.760
Come on, Mommy!
01:06:45.000 --> 01:06:47.040
- Oh, Mom!
- Happy Diwali.
01:06:47.640 --> 01:06:48.800
Happy Diwali.
01:06:48.880 --> 01:06:51.040
Happy Diwali! Happy Diwali!
01:06:51.120 --> 01:06:52.880
- Happy Diwali.
- Superb!
01:06:53.440 --> 01:06:55.280
- Happy Diwali!
- Superb!
01:06:55.360 --> 01:06:58.080
A big round of applause for our guests!
01:07:01.560 --> 01:07:03.680
Shahid bhai, Mira, Ishaan,
thank you so much for coming.
01:07:03.760 --> 01:07:05.040
Thank you so much.
01:07:06.440 --> 01:07:09.560
Friends, we had so much fun
celebrating Diwali with our guests.
01:07:09.640 --> 01:07:13.640
Light the lamps of joy with your loved
ones this Diwali, and keep watching
01:07:13.720 --> 01:07:16.640
The Great Indian Kapil Show
Season 5 on Netflix.
01:07:16.720 --> 01:07:18.600
A festival of laughs.
See you next Saturday.
01:07:18.680 --> 01:07:21.240
Until then, take care and good night.
01:07:21.320 --> 01:07:22.320
Thank you so much.
01:07:38.640 --> 01:07:42.480
Please welcome Mr. Pankaj Tripathi,
Mr. Zakir Khan
01:07:42.560 --> 01:07:44.680
and Dr. Vikas Divyakirti sahab.
01:07:45.960 --> 01:07:48.480
You're the first teacher in my life
I've ever been a fan of.
01:07:48.560 --> 01:07:50.560
Otherwise, we were always
just scared of teachers.
01:07:51.200 --> 01:07:54.520
- Partly because of our own antics.
- And partly because of the teachers'.
01:07:55.680 --> 01:07:58.120
Zakir bhai, how did you end up
among educated people?
01:07:59.360 --> 01:08:02.800
Well, they say you should surround
yourself with people smarter than you.
01:08:02.880 --> 01:08:05.080
That works for him.
What were you thinking?
01:08:05.160 --> 01:08:07.440
He decided to surround himself
with fools instead.
01:08:09.080 --> 01:08:10.480
So when did you realize
01:08:10.560 --> 01:08:12.680
that for any country's growth,
rather than politics,
01:08:12.760 --> 01:08:15.520
education needs more focus?
01:08:15.600 --> 01:08:18.280
I never thought about it
as deeply as you're making it sound.
01:08:19.160 --> 01:08:21.520
Pankaj bhai, were you ever confused
before getting into acting?
01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:23.399
I wanted to be a student leader too.
01:08:23.479 --> 01:08:26.399
But the police beat me so badly
that I changed my mind that very day.
01:08:28.040 --> 01:08:30.800
- My name is Avishkar Singh.
- Your name is "Avishkar"?
01:08:30.880 --> 01:08:32.160
Were you born or…
01:08:34.319 --> 01:08:36.880
When a father becomes more
of a friend, is that good or bad?
01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:38.279
It's definitely a bad thing.
01:08:38.359 --> 01:08:40.479
If he asks,
"Why are you going out so late?"
01:08:40.560 --> 01:08:42.240
"Oh, come on, Dad." "Am I your friend?"
01:08:44.479 --> 01:08:46.680
If the king's son becomes king,
01:08:46.760 --> 01:08:48.279
people will cry nepotism!
01:08:48.359 --> 01:08:50.160
I don't want your throne. Get lost!
01:08:50.240 --> 01:08:52.840
I'll have you bound and captive!
01:08:52.920 --> 01:08:55.319
That's for the next episode, not this one.