WEBVTT 00:31.240 --> 00:32.200 Thank you. 00:35.720 --> 00:39.040 Good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show Season 5. 00:41.480 --> 00:43.399 Archana ma'am, Sidhu sahab. 00:43.400 --> 00:46.679 Do you know what the world's biggest celebration is? 00:46.680 --> 00:47.999 What? 00:48.000 --> 00:49.480 Life. 00:50.560 --> 00:52.760 If you go to sleep tonight 00:54.120 --> 00:55.320 and wake up the next day, 00:56.080 --> 00:57.159 celebrate. 00:57.160 --> 00:58.320 Yes. 00:59.080 --> 01:01.040 Because nothing beats life. 01:01.680 --> 01:04.799 Though everyone has their own way of living life. 01:04.800 --> 01:06.560 Look at all the shows on TV these days, 01:07.200 --> 01:09.199 giving people such crazy tasks. 01:09.200 --> 01:12.879 What's a task for them is just everyday life for regular folks. 01:12.880 --> 01:14.479 For example, there's a show 01:14.480 --> 01:16.879 where they put 20 different kinds of people in a house. 01:16.880 --> 01:17.920 You were on that show. 01:20.680 --> 01:22.639 Then they fight, 01:22.640 --> 01:24.319 brawl, curse at each other, 01:24.320 --> 01:25.720 and fight over bread and eggs. 01:26.440 --> 01:29.040 What they call a show, we call a joint family. 01:30.600 --> 01:33.679 In a joint family, two daughters-in-law never get along. 01:33.680 --> 01:34.599 Yes. 01:34.600 --> 01:35.680 Mom-in-law hates both. 01:37.120 --> 01:39.080 The brothers get drunk and fight in the evenings. 01:40.240 --> 01:41.600 The sister's husband steps in. 01:42.200 --> 01:44.400 Either they listen to him, or they beat him up. 01:46.360 --> 01:49.440 Then the bua jumps in and fuels the fire. 01:51.640 --> 01:54.559 We spend our whole lives in that kind of chaos. 01:54.560 --> 01:55.879 And no prize money either. 01:55.880 --> 01:56.999 "Prize money…" 01:57.000 --> 01:58.919 Right? After all the fighting, 01:58.920 --> 02:00.879 if we manage to save our family, 02:00.880 --> 02:02.960 that's the prize money. Nothing else. 02:06.200 --> 02:08.519 For common folks, Mumbai is a chore. 02:08.520 --> 02:09.599 Homes are so tiny, 02:09.600 --> 02:12.039 one bathroom for eight people. 02:12.040 --> 02:13.160 Everyone has a slot. 02:14.479 --> 02:15.719 First, the school-going kids, 02:15.720 --> 02:17.159 then Dad who goes to the office, 02:17.160 --> 02:18.719 then the homemaker wife, 02:18.720 --> 02:20.440 and then the elders get all day. 02:21.440 --> 02:22.320 Well… 02:23.200 --> 02:26.559 When Dad has to rush to work, it's a real pain. 02:26.560 --> 02:28.479 While he's picking up the newspaper from the door, 02:28.480 --> 02:29.399 the kid slips inside. 02:29.400 --> 02:30.319 He goes, "Wait!" 02:30.320 --> 02:33.080 Dad throws the newspaper, but the kid's already inside. 02:34.200 --> 02:35.640 When Dad curses from outside, 02:36.160 --> 02:39.079 the poor kid, like Iran under US pressure, 02:39.080 --> 02:40.200 halts his bombing midway. 02:42.520 --> 02:43.640 That's how it is. 02:44.520 --> 02:47.119 Sidhu sahab, anything counts as a task now. 02:47.120 --> 02:49.239 - Drinking water is a task. - Yes. 02:49.240 --> 02:52.319 They tell you to drink three liters of water daily. 02:52.320 --> 02:54.279 - Yes. - There are these bottles-- 02:54.280 --> 02:56.280 Let me show you. Show the bottle here. 02:56.920 --> 02:57.800 - Yes. - Look. 02:58.360 --> 03:01.319 It has reminders written on it, all timed out. 03:01.320 --> 03:03.320 Like, "8:00 a.m. Get started." 03:03.920 --> 03:05.560 "10:00 a.m. Remember your goal." 03:06.240 --> 03:07.599 "12:00 p.m. Keep drinking." 03:07.600 --> 03:08.759 "2:00 p.m. Don't give up. 03:08.760 --> 03:10.359 "4:00 p.m. No excuses." 03:10.360 --> 03:12.119 "6:00 p.m. You're almost there." 03:12.120 --> 03:14.679 By 8:00 p.m., you finish all the water. 03:14.680 --> 03:15.919 Then it says, "You did it." 03:15.920 --> 03:17.000 Now look at a liquor bottle. 03:22.280 --> 03:23.519 It's the exact opposite. 03:23.520 --> 03:25.520 It starts at 8:00 p.m., not 8:00 a.m. 03:26.800 --> 03:28.479 - You don't even have to write on it. - Nope. 03:28.480 --> 03:29.639 It's just understood. 03:29.640 --> 03:30.999 People just follow it. 03:31.000 --> 03:32.160 "8:00 p.m. Get started." 03:33.920 --> 03:36.160 "10:00 p.m. Remember your goal." Finish it all. 03:37.600 --> 03:39.840 "12:00 a.m. Keep drinking." The night's still young. 03:41.200 --> 03:43.360 "2:00 a.m. Bring another bottle!" 03:46.920 --> 03:48.960 "3:00 a.m. Nobody's going home!" 03:59.120 --> 04:02.119 "4:00 a.m. You're almost there." Meaning, you're wasted. 04:02.120 --> 04:04.560 - "Almost there…" - "6:00 a.m. You did it!" 04:05.680 --> 04:08.520 By then, he's out cold, lying in a gutter. 04:10.760 --> 04:14.519 Go out for weekend dinner in the city, and that's a whole task. 04:14.520 --> 04:15.919 Every restaurant is packed. 04:15.920 --> 04:18.599 A guy's with family, wife dressed up, 04:18.600 --> 04:20.200 two kids in tow, but no room. 04:20.800 --> 04:22.519 The guy's waiting outside. 04:23.480 --> 04:25.239 Waiters carry food right past them. 04:25.240 --> 04:27.199 And they skip the menu. 04:27.200 --> 04:29.399 They order by watching others' food. 04:29.400 --> 04:30.560 Dal looks good. 04:32.880 --> 04:35.720 Someone's eating from his plate, while this guy savors it with his eyes. 04:39.800 --> 04:41.999 Someone orders a sizzler, and the whole restaurant knows. 04:42.000 --> 04:44.320 Smoke billows from the plate as this guy stares at it… 04:52.440 --> 04:56.159 And this guy who's waiting gets the most annoyed at the guy 04:56.160 --> 05:00.119 who finishes eating and still waits ten minutes for a finger bowl. 05:00.120 --> 05:01.760 "Bring the finger bowl!" 05:02.640 --> 05:03.839 If he had his way, 05:03.840 --> 05:05.960 he'd lick his fingers and say, "Just leave!" 05:07.520 --> 05:08.640 Right? He's hungry. 05:09.800 --> 05:12.159 All right, you finally get a table. 05:12.160 --> 05:14.279 Then ordering food is a task in itself. 05:14.280 --> 05:16.999 Back then, waiters recited the menu. 05:17.000 --> 05:19.839 "Sir, paneer tikka, paneer masala, paneer kadhai, yellow dal, black dal, 05:19.840 --> 05:21.160 mom's dal, dad's booze--" Whatever… 05:23.200 --> 05:25.520 Menus vanished, replaced by scanners. 05:26.080 --> 05:28.799 Older folks don't get scanners, poor things. 05:28.800 --> 05:30.439 So they order what they always eat. 05:30.440 --> 05:31.840 "Son, bring dal and roti." 05:33.920 --> 05:36.440 The waiter says, "Sir, this is a Japanese restaurant." 05:37.280 --> 05:38.719 He looks at his grandson. 05:38.720 --> 05:40.400 Kids are so confident. 05:40.920 --> 05:42.719 Right? Always ready to order. 05:42.720 --> 05:44.880 "Okay. One blue butter Japanese rice with Thai curry." 05:47.320 --> 05:49.799 "One sushi nikkei avocado uramaki." 05:49.800 --> 05:53.160 Hearing this, the old man curses under his breath, like, "What?" 05:56.160 --> 05:58.319 Then the sushi comes with chopsticks. 05:58.320 --> 05:59.359 Yes. 05:59.360 --> 06:02.920 The old man thinks, "They're here to humiliate me today." 06:03.920 --> 06:07.280 "I don't know how to eat sushi, and they gave me spears!" 06:08.680 --> 06:10.280 Dinesh once ordered sushi. 06:11.200 --> 06:14.439 Clueless, he joined both chopsticks, 06:14.440 --> 06:16.720 made a spear, and went straight for the sushi! 06:20.800 --> 06:22.360 He murdered that sushi. 06:23.440 --> 06:25.560 He didn't eat sushi, it was suicide. 06:27.400 --> 06:29.839 His wife told him to eat with them. 06:29.840 --> 06:31.879 Before that, when the chopsticks arrived, 06:31.880 --> 06:34.279 he stuck them behind his ears and ate with his hands. 06:34.280 --> 06:35.480 I mean… 06:37.200 --> 06:39.519 Have you seen those four-story burgers? 06:39.520 --> 06:41.239 - Yes. - The ones in the ads? 06:41.240 --> 06:43.720 A bun on top, a bun on the bottom, and God knows what in between. 06:44.280 --> 06:46.599 Right? You can't even hold it at first. 06:46.600 --> 06:48.560 - That's true. - You crush it with your elbow. 06:49.360 --> 06:50.640 Then grab it in front. 06:51.200 --> 06:53.800 To eat it, a guy warms up his mouth. 06:56.000 --> 06:56.920 Stretches his jaw. 06:58.720 --> 07:01.399 Then you hold it here and squeeze. 07:01.400 --> 07:04.319 You bite the front, and the back bursts. 07:04.320 --> 07:06.239 - Right? - So true. 07:06.240 --> 07:08.040 The second you press, 07:08.560 --> 07:10.559 a tomato slips out the back, 07:10.560 --> 07:12.320 like Raghav Chadha leaving AAP. 07:19.000 --> 07:22.079 The guy tries to save Raghav Chadha, 07:22.080 --> 07:24.040 and the whole party falls apart. 07:26.520 --> 07:27.520 Good one! 07:28.160 --> 07:30.479 Eventually, a guy just gives up. 07:30.480 --> 07:32.639 - Yes. - He sees who's watching, 07:32.640 --> 07:35.160 and eats that burger like pav bhaji. 07:40.040 --> 07:41.479 Anyway, we were talking tasks. 07:41.480 --> 07:43.480 Time to earn our bread and butter. 07:44.040 --> 07:45.679 And welcome tonight's guests. 07:45.680 --> 07:47.119 They're truly special, 07:47.120 --> 07:49.159 and I'm genuinely thrilled today. 07:49.160 --> 07:51.679 These are guests who, in their own way, 07:51.680 --> 07:54.400 have inspired people to move forward in life. 07:54.920 --> 07:57.679 With big applause, I want to welcome 07:57.680 --> 07:58.999 this trio of friends. 07:59.000 --> 08:01.200 Please welcome Mr. Pankaj Tripathi, 08:01.920 --> 08:03.159 Mr. Zakir Khan, 08:03.160 --> 08:06.280 and Dr. Vikas Divyakirti sahab. 08:13.080 --> 08:15.120 Brother, greetings, greetings! 08:15.640 --> 08:16.840 Welcome, sir! 08:17.960 --> 08:18.880 Zakir bhai! 08:23.240 --> 08:25.839 Welcome, welcome. 08:25.840 --> 08:26.720 Wow. 08:27.560 --> 08:29.679 Today's episode is gonna be great! 08:29.680 --> 08:33.199 Sir, I've met Pankaj bhai many times, and it's an honor. 08:33.200 --> 08:34.639 Zakir bhai is my friend too. 08:34.640 --> 08:36.239 It's my first time meeting you, 08:36.240 --> 08:39.879 and you're the first teacher I've ever become a fan of. 08:39.880 --> 08:41.880 Normally, we fear teachers. 08:42.600 --> 08:44.959 Partly due to our antics… 08:44.960 --> 08:46.559 The teachers probably played a part too. 08:48.559 --> 08:52.399 But, sir, the way you teach, and your unique style, 08:52.400 --> 08:55.119 how you keep students engaged alongside the lessons, 08:55.120 --> 08:57.079 it shows in how your students react. 08:57.080 --> 09:00.999 I watch so many of your videos, sir. Thank you so much for coming. 09:01.000 --> 09:02.640 - Thank you. - Welcome. Please. 09:07.480 --> 09:10.359 As you already know, Vikas sir is an educator, 09:10.360 --> 09:11.879 Zakir bhai is a stand-up comedian, 09:11.880 --> 09:13.279 and Pankaj bhai is an actor. 09:13.280 --> 09:15.880 And the funny thing is, all three of them are my fans. 09:16.880 --> 09:19.079 - Sorry, jokes aside. - That's true. 09:19.080 --> 09:21.959 Sir, first of all, I'd like to know, 09:21.960 --> 09:25.679 when did the three of you first meet? How did you become friends? 09:25.680 --> 09:29.759 The first time I met Vikas sir was right there in the classroom. 09:29.760 --> 09:31.999 - Really? Were you studying for UPSC? - Yes. 09:32.000 --> 09:33.959 Yes, yes. I wanted to. 09:33.960 --> 09:35.319 We're all just dreamers. 09:35.320 --> 09:37.399 - That's correct. - He's the realist. 09:37.400 --> 09:38.599 Right, so then? 09:38.600 --> 09:41.519 To the goals I didn't complete, I bow in humble defeat. 09:41.520 --> 09:42.599 - Wow. - Wow. 09:42.600 --> 09:47.199 My UPSC dream didn't pan out, but I used to listen to his lectures. 09:47.200 --> 09:49.719 - Okay. - And the commute was so long 09:49.720 --> 09:54.559 that I'd listen to his long lectures to pass the time. 09:54.560 --> 09:58.680 So I only know him through his classes, knowledge, and books. 09:59.320 --> 10:01.199 During COVID, we had long phone calls. 10:01.200 --> 10:02.399 - Yes. - Okay. 10:02.400 --> 10:05.839 - We actually met on the set of OMG 2. - On the set. Yes. 10:05.840 --> 10:08.159 Sir came for 12th Fail, 10:08.160 --> 10:09.439 - to help with writing… - Yes. 10:09.440 --> 10:11.399 - 12th Fail was being written. - Okay. 10:11.400 --> 10:14.079 There's a role in it based on me. 10:14.080 --> 10:16.839 - So-- - I saw 12th Fail and your scene. 10:16.840 --> 10:19.719 - I wanted him to play that role. - I see. 10:19.720 --> 10:22.919 So I requested him, but I ended up doing it myself. 10:22.920 --> 10:24.959 Who could play your role better than you? 10:24.960 --> 10:27.079 No, even so… 10:27.080 --> 10:30.040 So, Zakir bhai, how'd you end up among educated folks? 10:35.760 --> 10:36.879 How did you meet them? 10:36.880 --> 10:38.960 I'm just as surprised. 10:39.920 --> 10:41.959 How did I end up with them? 10:41.960 --> 10:44.879 I don't know if this sounds inappropriate, 10:44.880 --> 10:46.999 or if I even should say it. 10:47.000 --> 10:49.080 But I've slept with Vikas sir a lot. 10:54.080 --> 10:55.559 I was brought up in a joint family. 10:55.560 --> 10:57.680 Someone at home is always talking around you. 10:58.320 --> 10:59.359 Right. 10:59.360 --> 11:02.159 Now I live in Mumbai and have made a name for myself. 11:02.160 --> 11:05.039 I have a big room, the AC running, no noise, and I still can't sleep. 11:05.040 --> 11:05.959 Yes. 11:05.960 --> 11:07.600 It's nice when someone's talking next to you. 11:09.000 --> 11:12.919 So that's why I'd put on my earphones and listen to his lectures… 11:12.920 --> 11:15.039 - You watched his videos first? - Yes. 11:15.040 --> 11:16.719 Yeah, first I saw his videos. 11:16.720 --> 11:18.959 Then my friend, Saurabh Dwivedi sahab… 11:18.960 --> 11:21.279 - Yes, yes. -…who was on your show, 11:21.280 --> 11:24.239 I asked him to introduce me to Vikas sir. 11:24.240 --> 11:26.479 Also, they say you should surround yourself 11:26.480 --> 11:28.719 - with smarter people. - Yes. 11:28.720 --> 11:30.599 - So that's why I made him my friend. - So… 11:30.600 --> 11:31.760 That makes-- 11:33.120 --> 11:35.639 I was gonna say, that makes sense for him. 11:35.640 --> 11:36.799 What did you think? 11:36.800 --> 11:39.200 He thought he should keep some fools around. 11:42.160 --> 11:46.200 Why did I meet him, or feel so glad to have the chance to meet you? 11:46.960 --> 11:49.160 I believe that comedians 11:50.400 --> 11:52.079 have the highest IQ. 11:52.080 --> 11:56.080 I think in an IQ test, comedians would come out on top. 11:56.800 --> 11:59.439 Because it takes a very sharp mind. 11:59.440 --> 12:02.759 You have to use the right word at exactly the right time 12:02.760 --> 12:04.599 and pause at just the right moment. 12:04.600 --> 12:06.199 So, among the comics around me, 12:06.200 --> 12:10.920 I especially like the ones who swear a little less. 12:11.680 --> 12:12.680 So… 12:16.560 --> 12:19.559 There's even a spiritual side to this, Kapil paaji. 12:19.560 --> 12:21.159 What you do is huge. 12:21.160 --> 12:23.239 It is spiritual, too. 12:23.240 --> 12:25.199 It's presence of mind, right? 12:25.200 --> 12:27.839 - Yes. - Replying instantly, which means… 12:27.840 --> 12:31.319 Spirituality teaches us to live in the moment. 12:31.320 --> 12:34.199 So when a comic performs on stage, 12:34.200 --> 12:36.679 he is most in the present. 12:36.680 --> 12:40.879 He processes the input and responds within a second. 12:40.880 --> 12:43.239 So you're spiritual too. 12:43.240 --> 12:44.480 Oh, thank you, Pankaj bhai. 12:46.280 --> 12:48.719 Today, sir, we decided 12:48.720 --> 12:52.000 to make Kapil realize just how big his work is. 12:54.880 --> 12:57.599 Sir, you said a comedian 12:57.600 --> 13:00.999 - has to react in just a few seconds. - Yes. 13:01.000 --> 13:03.719 - Then cricketers are truly top-class. - Absolutely. 13:03.720 --> 13:06.680 When a ball comes at Virat Kohli, 13:07.680 --> 13:09.640 it comes at 150 km/h. 13:10.360 --> 13:13.639 So just imagine, he has only a fraction of a second 13:13.640 --> 13:15.159 to hit a four or a six! 13:15.160 --> 13:18.079 Wait, I have one thing to say to Sidhu sahab. 13:18.080 --> 13:20.560 When comedians were being praised… 13:26.920 --> 13:29.239 We'd reached a spiritual level. 13:29.240 --> 13:30.160 Yes, yes. 13:32.040 --> 13:34.040 Cricketers make the most money. 13:34.680 --> 13:37.639 - Yes. - They get three whole pages in the paper. 13:37.640 --> 13:38.559 - Yes. - Okay? 13:38.560 --> 13:41.200 Yet you couldn't bear two minutes of… 13:45.120 --> 13:49.759 Why would I shoot myself in the foot? 13:49.760 --> 13:51.880 Man, comedians pay my bills! 13:54.080 --> 13:55.359 What are you saying? 13:55.360 --> 13:56.640 I agree with you. 13:57.760 --> 14:00.200 You have to agree, or he won't stop. 14:02.800 --> 14:06.360 When Sidhu ji entered commentary, we were just students. 14:07.280 --> 14:09.799 In IAS interviews, some kids list cricket as a hobby, 14:09.800 --> 14:11.319 so questions about him came up too. 14:11.320 --> 14:12.239 I see. 14:12.240 --> 14:14.840 - Back then, Sidhuism was the term, right? - Sidhuism? 14:15.440 --> 14:16.999 Some wrote in a unique style in papers. 14:17.000 --> 14:19.440 Like Prabhash Joshi, a great satirist. 14:20.800 --> 14:22.319 He wrote, "When Sachin married, 14:22.320 --> 14:24.560 he started staying in his crease." 14:25.920 --> 14:27.960 "He stepped out only when needed." 14:29.320 --> 14:33.439 But he's the one who brought that from print media to television. 14:33.440 --> 14:35.960 - No, no. Thank you. - And the metaphors he used… 14:36.640 --> 14:38.519 He may or may not remember this, 14:38.520 --> 14:39.800 but it got so famous. 14:40.360 --> 14:43.120 "Team India is falling like bicycles in a bike rack." 14:48.640 --> 14:49.999 I said a lot more than this, sir. 14:50.000 --> 14:51.479 "After a six, the ball went so high, 14:51.480 --> 14:53.600 it kissed an air hostess on its way back down." 14:55.440 --> 14:58.680 Commentary became more pleasurable than the cricket itself. 14:59.240 --> 15:00.120 I'm honored, sir. 15:02.560 --> 15:04.599 Pankaj bhaiya, you are everywhere. 15:04.600 --> 15:06.919 I mean, on OTT and in theaters. 15:06.920 --> 15:10.320 - Mirzapur was amazing. Congratulations. - Yes. Thank you, thank you. 15:12.520 --> 15:13.960 Look at the love. 15:20.280 --> 15:22.240 I'll cry if you applaud that much. 15:23.600 --> 15:25.200 I expected you to say, "Music." 15:26.120 --> 15:28.359 - Music. - When you're out in Mumbai-- 15:28.360 --> 15:29.679 I know, you live in Madh Island. 15:29.680 --> 15:32.919 Heading into town, your huge posters are up. 15:32.920 --> 15:36.359 Do you think, "Hey, I'm Pankaj Tripathi"? 15:36.360 --> 15:37.520 Honestly, I don't. 15:38.040 --> 15:41.320 So I'll see a psychologist to find out why. 15:42.880 --> 15:45.039 Seriously, it's an issue. 15:45.040 --> 15:48.080 Like, "Man, you should feel something, right?" 15:49.160 --> 15:51.120 I've walked so far toward spiritual liberation. 15:54.320 --> 15:56.599 Now, you all know Vikas sir, 15:56.600 --> 15:58.600 but I'd like to say it again. 15:59.120 --> 16:01.840 BA, MA, LLB, MPhil, PhD. 16:02.520 --> 16:03.919 He did all that. 16:03.920 --> 16:06.519 Plus, he did a filmmaking course at FTII Pune. 16:06.520 --> 16:07.719 Wow. 16:07.720 --> 16:11.799 And with that calm, serious nature, 16:11.800 --> 16:12.759 he speaks so well 16:12.760 --> 16:15.720 that if someone told him to become a spiritual guru, 16:16.640 --> 16:20.200 all he'd need is enough time to grow a beard. 16:20.960 --> 16:22.280 He's all set otherwise. 16:22.880 --> 16:26.039 Sir, you have so many degrees. 16:26.040 --> 16:29.239 Normally, if people can't get a job, they study more. 16:29.240 --> 16:31.559 Or if they can't get married, they study more. 16:31.560 --> 16:33.639 - That wasn't the case with you. - Yes. 16:33.640 --> 16:37.639 So, what kind of bliss were you chasing with all these degrees? 16:37.640 --> 16:40.439 No, I just felt like studying new subjects, 16:40.440 --> 16:42.359 so I kept doing many things. 16:42.360 --> 16:43.519 In Mirzapur, I have a line. 16:43.520 --> 16:46.119 "I started because I had to, but eventually, I started enjoying it." 16:46.120 --> 16:46.960 Yes, yes. 16:52.040 --> 16:53.279 Besides, degrees mean nothing. 16:53.280 --> 16:55.479 Degrees are just for show. 16:55.480 --> 16:57.760 You can be just as wise without one. 16:58.720 --> 17:00.279 A famous couplet goes, 17:00.280 --> 17:03.720 "Degrees are receipts for what you've learned." 17:04.440 --> 17:06.199 "True knowledge lives in your character." 17:06.200 --> 17:07.560 - Oh, wonderful! - Wow. 17:09.400 --> 17:10.598 Wow! 17:10.599 --> 17:13.078 If it shows in your character, why need a degree? 17:13.079 --> 17:14.879 - So-- - So you didn't even get a single degree. 17:14.880 --> 17:16.440 Had you heard that couplet before? 17:18.560 --> 17:22.679 What kind of bliss were you chasing that you didn't even get one degree? 17:22.680 --> 17:23.919 I passed 12th grade. 17:23.920 --> 17:25.479 Let's start there. 17:25.480 --> 17:28.160 For the record, we don't call that a degree. 17:30.319 --> 17:33.318 Because if someone is as educated as I am, 17:33.319 --> 17:34.760 I don't consider them educated at all. 17:38.120 --> 17:41.159 I felt like studying wasn't really-- 17:41.160 --> 17:42.040 I was stuck. 17:42.640 --> 17:43.639 When I got to college, 17:43.640 --> 17:46.359 people told me they read other books too. 17:46.360 --> 17:47.279 Other? 17:47.280 --> 17:49.440 - Like, ones not on the syllabus. - Okay, got it. 17:50.440 --> 17:53.119 A girl asked me freshman year, "What kind of books do you read?" 17:53.120 --> 17:54.039 I said, "Textbooks." 17:54.040 --> 17:55.479 I wanted to be an RJ. 17:55.480 --> 17:57.159 - I knew I spoke well… - I see. 17:57.160 --> 17:59.439 …and if you're not that good-looking, 17:59.440 --> 18:01.720 - you figure radio is the right medium. - Okay. 18:03.000 --> 18:05.400 I was confident I could kill it with my voice. 18:06.240 --> 18:07.999 I thought, why would I need a degree for that? 18:08.000 --> 18:09.759 So I went to Delhi for a course. 18:09.760 --> 18:11.199 Once I finished it 18:11.200 --> 18:12.999 and first applied for a job, 18:13.000 --> 18:15.160 they asked, "Where's your degree?" 18:15.920 --> 18:17.560 I said, "I dropped out!" 18:18.920 --> 18:21.479 He said, "No, you need a degree here too." 18:21.480 --> 18:22.839 - Really? - Luckily for me, 18:22.840 --> 18:25.959 I had an advanced diploma in sitar. 18:25.960 --> 18:27.199 Oh, wow. 18:27.200 --> 18:30.639 A court order came out saying that a diploma of this duration 18:30.640 --> 18:32.959 - would be equivalent to a degree. - Yes. 18:32.960 --> 18:35.439 So, sir, I'm proficient in music. 18:35.440 --> 18:37.480 - Can you believe it? - That's amazing! 18:40.160 --> 18:41.999 Sir, I just learned today 18:42.000 --> 18:43.919 that even to be a radio jockey-- 18:43.920 --> 18:45.919 - An RJ is an artist too. - Yes, absolutely. 18:45.920 --> 18:47.839 Playing with words-- That needs a degree too? 18:47.840 --> 18:49.519 Sir, don't you think 18:49.520 --> 18:52.399 we have exams for everything except politics? 18:52.400 --> 18:53.439 There should be. 18:53.440 --> 18:55.080 - There should be, right? - Absolutely. 19:00.680 --> 19:02.639 Any good country should have one. 19:02.640 --> 19:04.479 When someone becomes an MLA or MP, 19:04.480 --> 19:06.239 they have no clue what an MP does. 19:06.240 --> 19:07.359 That's true. 19:07.360 --> 19:10.159 If we taught them public policy for a year, 19:10.160 --> 19:12.439 and at least explained what they could do 19:12.440 --> 19:14.719 - and what the Constitution says… - Right. 19:14.720 --> 19:16.479 …they'd definitely do a better job. 19:16.480 --> 19:18.519 There's no entry test in politics, 19:18.520 --> 19:21.439 but winning a second time 19:21.440 --> 19:24.239 - is the real test of character. - Yes. 19:24.240 --> 19:26.920 Unless people trust you, they won't vote for you. 19:29.960 --> 19:32.079 We'd heard that 19:32.080 --> 19:33.759 Vikas sir had wanted to get 19:33.760 --> 19:35.679 - into politics before. - I used to. 19:35.680 --> 19:38.759 Then you joined the IAS, and then became an educator. 19:38.760 --> 19:40.279 When did you realize 19:40.280 --> 19:43.920 that education matters more than politics for a country's development 19:44.480 --> 19:46.359 and needs more focus? 19:46.360 --> 19:47.679 I never realized it to the extent 19:47.680 --> 19:48.719 - you're describing. - Okay. 19:48.720 --> 19:49.680 Basically-- 19:51.240 --> 19:54.279 Basically, when I was a student, I wanted to go into politics. 19:54.280 --> 19:56.399 - Okay. - So I got involved in student politics. 19:56.400 --> 19:59.599 Then I joined DU specifically to become DUSU president. 19:59.600 --> 20:01.959 Then I'd become an MLA, then an MP, and eventually a minister. 20:01.960 --> 20:03.679 - That was the plan. - I see. 20:03.680 --> 20:06.600 While preparing for the UPSC, I started enjoying studying much more. 20:07.960 --> 20:10.399 So then I lost interest in politics. 20:10.400 --> 20:14.599 I study, I teach, and I enjoy it so much, more than any other work. 20:14.600 --> 20:16.239 That's why I'm a very happy man. 20:16.240 --> 20:19.280 - You do great work, sir. - I have no regrets. 20:21.840 --> 20:23.439 Pankaj bhaiya, once you became popular-- 20:23.440 --> 20:25.159 I've usually seen 20:25.160 --> 20:26.839 many actors in our industry 20:26.840 --> 20:29.399 - get approached by their hometowns-- - Yes. 20:29.400 --> 20:31.439 Once people see that this guy is popular, 20:31.440 --> 20:34.719 some party always asks him to run for office. 20:34.720 --> 20:36.479 - Yes. - Did nobody ever ask you? 20:36.480 --> 20:38.919 - Someone asked me once. - And? 20:38.920 --> 20:40.319 Yeah. So I said, 20:40.320 --> 20:42.639 "I'm not interested," just like him. 20:42.640 --> 20:45.319 "My acting shop is running just fine." 20:45.320 --> 20:47.439 "Why do you want to shut it down?" 20:47.440 --> 20:49.519 No, ma'am, it's a massive responsibility. 20:49.520 --> 20:51.879 Serving the public is serious business. 20:51.880 --> 20:53.159 - True. - It isn't easy. 20:53.160 --> 20:55.159 Pankaj sahab, I want to ask you a question. 20:55.160 --> 20:56.159 Sure, sir. Please. 20:56.160 --> 20:59.760 There was this belief that, in cinema, big dynasties 21:00.520 --> 21:02.839 would last for generations. 21:02.840 --> 21:06.959 In cricket, having a great dad doesn't mean his son will be great. 21:06.960 --> 21:09.280 But in films, it was a huge advantage. 21:09.920 --> 21:12.759 Then people like you came along, 21:12.760 --> 21:14.280 from small towns, 21:14.880 --> 21:18.879 giving wings to the common man's dreams and making it big. 21:18.880 --> 21:22.559 Don't you think OTT played a huge part in that? 21:22.560 --> 21:23.959 Absolutely, sir. I agree. 21:23.960 --> 21:26.320 In fact, the audience sitting before us, 21:26.920 --> 21:30.319 the four of us on stage, and the two of you in those chairs, 21:30.320 --> 21:32.759 - we all come from humble families. - Absolutely. 21:32.760 --> 21:37.999 Yet in this democratic space, we got opportunities, worked hard, 21:38.000 --> 21:40.520 earned our place, and now we're sitting here preaching. 21:43.560 --> 21:47.439 So we're not just doing a show today. 21:47.440 --> 21:49.079 We're doing a show of possibilities, 21:49.080 --> 21:52.879 and this possibility exists in every kid in every state. 21:52.880 --> 21:56.879 And of course, as new mediums emerge, new opportunities open up. 21:56.880 --> 22:00.799 When TV came along, Kapil paaji came from Amritsar, and India saw his talent. 22:00.800 --> 22:04.840 Then his hard work, effort, IQ, intelligence, and spirituality… 22:05.680 --> 22:07.199 "Spirituality." 22:07.200 --> 22:08.920 …got him this far. 22:09.560 --> 22:11.839 So this is a show of hope. 22:11.840 --> 22:14.399 We covered so much today in one conversation. 22:14.400 --> 22:16.239 One thing I want to say, 22:16.240 --> 22:18.160 speaking of praise, Zakir… 22:18.800 --> 22:24.119 Have you guys seen Zakir's Papa Yaar on Netflix? 22:24.120 --> 22:25.240 Yes! 22:25.760 --> 22:27.960 - Zakir, I saw it. - Brilliant. 22:30.400 --> 22:31.800 Wonderful. 22:33.040 --> 22:33.920 Wow. 22:34.560 --> 22:37.280 Absolutely incredible. 22:39.080 --> 22:42.159 His every line-- You talked about observation. 22:42.160 --> 22:44.199 My God, the observation! 22:44.200 --> 22:49.240 Every family has parents, but the way he portrayed his parents, 22:49.960 --> 22:51.719 we saw our own parents too. 22:51.720 --> 22:53.719 I really want to ask you, 22:53.720 --> 22:56.599 how much of that is actually based on your real parents? 22:56.600 --> 22:59.559 See, the basic rule of storytelling is 22:59.560 --> 23:01.999 that your personal story must feel universal… 23:02.000 --> 23:03.239 - Yes. -…and universal stories 23:03.240 --> 23:04.199 must feel personal. 23:04.200 --> 23:06.559 Then, you hit the nail on the head. 23:06.560 --> 23:07.520 Well said. 23:10.320 --> 23:12.520 What can I say? They're here, so… 23:13.320 --> 23:14.400 They're sitting right here. 23:15.000 --> 23:17.879 - Oh, wow! Greetings. - Oh, my God! 23:17.880 --> 23:19.759 Zakir bhai's father and mother. 23:19.760 --> 23:20.760 A warm welcome. 23:22.240 --> 23:23.679 What is it, Papa? 23:23.680 --> 23:25.440 Your mom's right there. What will he say? 23:28.480 --> 23:31.199 Tell me, Zakir bhai, since we're on your stand-up, 23:31.200 --> 23:34.599 when a dad becomes a buddy, are there pros or cons? 23:34.600 --> 23:37.120 Trust me, it's only downsides. 23:38.360 --> 23:40.959 I've toured with this show for over two years, 23:40.960 --> 23:46.239 so I've met and spoken to so many sons, daughters, and their parents. 23:46.240 --> 23:48.559 And I realized that, you know-- When I named this show, 23:48.560 --> 23:51.119 I called it Papa Yaar because you can't say the two words together. 23:51.120 --> 23:53.519 He asks, "Why are you going out so late?" 23:53.520 --> 23:56.119 You say, "Papa, yaar, everyone's going." He snaps, "Am I your buddy?" 23:56.120 --> 23:58.239 - And the whole topic changes. - In our day, yes. 23:58.240 --> 24:00.519 - Now it's okay. - Now even my dad says that. 24:00.520 --> 24:01.879 My dad's an introvert. 24:01.880 --> 24:04.839 He speaks in very few words. 24:04.840 --> 24:07.759 In crowds, he barely speaks at all. 24:07.760 --> 24:09.239 He always regretted that-- 24:09.240 --> 24:12.319 Dads use fewer words with their kids, but open up to their moms. 24:12.320 --> 24:14.440 No, even there, my mom does the talking. 24:16.880 --> 24:18.919 He felt that, being an introvert, 24:18.920 --> 24:20.919 he didn't get as far, 24:20.920 --> 24:23.520 - or get the chances he could have. - Right. 24:24.080 --> 24:26.960 He channeled his regret into preparing me 24:27.640 --> 24:28.999 so his son could speak. 24:29.000 --> 24:31.080 I can say I worked hard, and I did, 24:31.680 --> 24:34.600 - but he planted the seed. And that is why… - Well said. 24:37.480 --> 24:40.479 See, I don't know who's seen God and who hasn't. 24:40.480 --> 24:43.199 But if God exists on Earth in any form, 24:43.200 --> 24:46.559 rejoicing in seeing their child surpass them, 24:46.560 --> 24:47.440 it's your parents. 24:50.840 --> 24:54.479 Pankaj, did your father ever hit you? 24:54.480 --> 24:56.639 - No, never. Not a single slap. - Never? 24:56.640 --> 24:58.399 - Never in my whole life. - Wow. 24:58.400 --> 24:59.799 And your mom? 24:59.800 --> 25:01.159 Mom hit me once or twice, 25:01.160 --> 25:03.279 - but I'd dodge her. - Okay. 25:03.280 --> 25:05.879 I'd walk around the house in shorts in the evening, 25:05.880 --> 25:08.119 wanting to go out and play, but she'd say no. 25:08.120 --> 25:11.199 So I'd walk around bare-chested in just my shorts, 25:11.200 --> 25:13.240 humming and pretending I'd stay home. 25:14.040 --> 25:18.520 I'd throw a shirt or T-shirt out the back window, 25:19.080 --> 25:20.799 then casually sneak out. 25:20.800 --> 25:24.199 She figured I wouldn't go out shirtless to play. 25:24.200 --> 25:26.840 I'd go around back, put it on, and disappear. 25:31.200 --> 25:33.079 Kapil, did your parents ever beat you? 25:33.080 --> 25:36.040 I remember it happening twice. I don't remember the rest. 25:37.560 --> 25:39.479 You only remember these things when you grow up. 25:39.480 --> 25:40.919 Obviously, it was my fault. 25:40.920 --> 25:42.719 But I'd like to say one thing. 25:42.720 --> 25:46.559 If your dad teaches you something, just learn it quietly. 25:46.560 --> 25:48.999 Because if the world teaches you that, 25:49.000 --> 25:50.239 - it costs a lot more. - Yes. 25:50.240 --> 25:51.599 - Spot on. - Believe me. 25:51.600 --> 25:53.720 I mean, learn what you can. 25:56.480 --> 26:00.239 A beating from your father might sting a bit, 26:00.240 --> 26:02.239 but a mother's beating never hurts. 26:02.240 --> 26:06.720 A mother's beating doesn't hurt a father, let alone a child! 26:07.480 --> 26:08.520 Well… 26:09.240 --> 26:11.839 Mom talks to us as if… 26:11.840 --> 26:14.359 "What would Papa say if he found out?" 26:14.360 --> 26:18.240 She talks to us as if they don't talk to each other. 26:21.400 --> 26:23.039 Even though there's nothing 26:23.040 --> 26:24.199 - they don't discuss. - Exactly. 26:24.200 --> 26:26.199 - Like they wouldn't tell. - Yes. 26:26.200 --> 26:28.999 I just want to say, trust whoever you want, 26:29.000 --> 26:30.000 not your mom. 26:32.520 --> 26:34.600 Especially if you want to keep something from your dad. 26:44.840 --> 26:45.680 Vajpayee! 26:51.560 --> 26:52.440 Oh, man! 26:53.640 --> 26:55.320 Incredible. 26:57.960 --> 26:59.280 Oh, man! 27:07.520 --> 27:09.200 Greetings to you all. 27:11.040 --> 27:12.320 Oh, my God! 27:13.000 --> 27:14.200 Oh, my God. 27:15.000 --> 27:16.639 Unbelievable. 27:16.640 --> 27:19.199 I'm here today to talk about Pankaj ji. 27:19.200 --> 27:20.760 Oh, sir. Greetings. 27:22.440 --> 27:25.520 Brothers, sisters, and Gen Z. 27:29.160 --> 27:30.320 Our beloved Pankaj ji. 27:31.520 --> 27:34.000 - He brings any character to life. - Wow. 27:34.760 --> 27:37.440 And I stand before you as living proof of that. 27:40.840 --> 27:43.159 I am Saral Bihari Vajpayee. 27:43.160 --> 27:45.519 - Saral? - Wow, wow. 27:45.520 --> 27:47.200 - Nice one! - How are you saral? 27:48.040 --> 27:52.879 I praise Pankaj ji for the pinnacle of his acting 27:52.880 --> 27:54.279 - and congratulate him on it. - Wow. 27:54.280 --> 27:56.000 Wow. Incredible. 27:58.960 --> 28:00.600 He looks like such a polite guy, 28:01.360 --> 28:04.279 but through acting, he becomes Kaleen Bhaiya. 28:04.280 --> 28:05.320 Wow! 28:08.360 --> 28:09.960 - Too good! - Wow! 28:11.000 --> 28:12.719 This is the era of Vikas. 28:12.720 --> 28:14.359 - Wow. - Incredible. 28:14.360 --> 28:15.840 Vikas ji doesn't come alone. 28:17.120 --> 28:19.679 Divya and Kirti always come with him. 28:19.680 --> 28:20.600 All three. 28:23.520 --> 28:25.440 Opportunities don't come to him. 28:26.040 --> 28:28.559 Students come and leave as officers. 28:28.560 --> 28:29.560 Well said. 28:33.840 --> 28:34.680 The guys at the back. 28:35.560 --> 28:38.719 And he's not the only one who motivates us. 28:38.720 --> 28:40.600 Our Zakir bhai does, too. 28:41.880 --> 28:43.320 But the best thing is, 28:44.040 --> 28:45.559 he made people laugh. 28:45.560 --> 28:46.679 - Yes. - Very good. 28:46.680 --> 28:48.719 - He cheered them up. - Nice. 28:48.720 --> 28:52.559 Since I'm here today, I thought I'd launch a book. 28:52.560 --> 28:53.680 Sure. 29:02.480 --> 29:05.439 - This book is titled Saral Kavita. - Okay. 29:05.440 --> 29:07.759 Now, don't ask me to recite something from it. 29:07.760 --> 29:09.959 - Recite it, recite it! - Yes, please. 29:09.960 --> 29:12.440 - Recite it, recite it! - Yes, yes. 29:13.240 --> 29:14.720 Let's hear it! 29:15.400 --> 29:19.360 I'll recite a few poems for you. 29:21.040 --> 29:25.600 It's about the things that have been bothering me lately. 29:26.400 --> 29:28.760 "They're hooked, they're hooked, they're hooked." 29:33.160 --> 29:35.199 "Not on smoking, not on drinking." 29:35.200 --> 29:38.839 "People are hooked on Instagram Watching reels!" 29:38.840 --> 29:40.000 Wow. 29:42.520 --> 29:46.399 - They're hooked! That's so true. - Wow. 29:46.400 --> 29:48.079 This is for today's youth. 29:48.080 --> 29:49.319 Today's youth, 29:49.320 --> 29:52.479 who won't bow to their parents, 29:52.480 --> 29:54.119 bow to their phones instead. 29:54.120 --> 29:55.400 Yes. 29:56.960 --> 29:59.480 "Screen time has taken over sleep time." 30:00.360 --> 30:02.239 "School starts at six in the morning, 30:02.240 --> 30:05.680 but the son is up Until 3:00 a.m. scrolling through Meta." 30:06.640 --> 30:07.800 "Meta." 30:08.440 --> 30:10.280 "But the son is up scrolling through Meta." 30:12.200 --> 30:13.999 "AG, OG, hey, listen up." 30:14.000 --> 30:16.959 "Instead of touching Dadu's feet 30:16.960 --> 30:19.720 the pota sends him an emoji." 30:22.000 --> 30:23.400 - "Dadu is no less." - Incredible. 30:24.640 --> 30:28.519 "At 90, he's asking ChatGPT, 30:28.520 --> 30:30.640 'How did I look in my 80s?'" 30:36.440 --> 30:38.120 Wow! Incredible! 30:39.400 --> 30:41.359 - Another short poem is titled-- - Yes, please. 30:41.360 --> 30:42.719 - Let's hear it, please. - Go ahead. 30:42.720 --> 30:43.639 If time allows. 30:43.640 --> 30:44.919 - Yes. - Yeah. 30:44.920 --> 30:46.400 "Sensor faucets." 30:46.960 --> 30:50.079 Sensor faucets. Put your hands under, and the water flows. 30:50.080 --> 30:52.799 "Once, the stairs stood still, and people climbed." 30:52.800 --> 30:53.719 Wow! 30:53.720 --> 30:55.679 "Now people stand still, and stairs climb." 30:55.680 --> 30:58.159 - Wow! Nice one! - Wow! 30:58.160 --> 30:59.719 - Incredible. - Wow! 30:59.720 --> 31:01.679 - What a thought! - Very nice. 31:01.680 --> 31:03.199 "We used to have manual faucets." 31:03.200 --> 31:04.279 Yes. 31:04.280 --> 31:05.839 "You'd turn the handle like this, 31:05.840 --> 31:09.599 air would hiss out, making a sound." 31:09.600 --> 31:11.639 "Then the water would flow." 31:11.640 --> 31:15.520 "Now you just put your hands underneath and the water comes out." 31:19.240 --> 31:22.920 "All the time people save at the faucet, 31:23.920 --> 31:25.599 they spend watching reels." 31:25.600 --> 31:26.920 - Yes! - Incredible. 31:29.760 --> 31:34.200 "People spend two hours in the bathroom on a five-minute job." 31:37.800 --> 31:40.679 "Trust me, their stomachs are fine, they're just scrolling inside." 31:40.680 --> 31:41.600 "Scrolling inside." 31:46.440 --> 31:47.999 - Bitter truth. - Wow! 31:48.000 --> 31:49.080 Wow! 31:50.080 --> 31:52.640 Everyone stopped. Why are you still clapping? 31:53.680 --> 31:55.120 I'm making rotis. 31:55.760 --> 31:57.199 Making rotis? 31:57.200 --> 31:59.520 Right, you're the Food Minister, after all. 32:02.120 --> 32:03.559 I wrote something on food. 32:03.560 --> 32:05.000 "Food lost its color…" 32:07.760 --> 32:10.839 "Food lost its color. Red Manchurian turned yellow." 32:10.840 --> 32:12.040 Wow! 32:12.720 --> 32:16.120 "Pink cotton candy lost its hue." 32:18.320 --> 32:20.160 "Gourds turned green anew." 32:21.200 --> 32:24.480 "Fake eggs were banned from the scene ever since Tukaram Mundhe came in." 32:28.480 --> 32:29.600 Well said! 32:32.240 --> 32:33.360 I'm proud that today, 32:34.440 --> 32:38.480 under Archana ji's leadership, 32:39.960 --> 32:41.919 Joketantra has come into being. 32:41.920 --> 32:42.800 "Joketantra!" 32:44.560 --> 32:46.560 With our respected Sidhu ji's 32:47.440 --> 32:49.840 "Thoko Tali" stamp, 32:51.120 --> 32:52.760 the joke gets its power. 32:55.080 --> 32:56.400 Before I leave, 32:58.480 --> 32:59.640 I have one last thing to say. 33:01.000 --> 33:02.719 Here's a poem for Archana ji. 33:02.720 --> 33:04.000 Oh, wow! 33:04.560 --> 33:10.200 "She acts like a vlogger, making just one roti at home." 33:11.320 --> 33:12.840 "Just so it can make it into the vlog." 33:13.520 --> 33:16.359 "The rest is ordered online." 33:16.360 --> 33:18.919 "And the time saved by not making rotis…" 33:18.920 --> 33:21.639 - Is spent scrolling through reels! - Is spent scrolling through reels! 33:21.640 --> 33:22.840 That's true! 33:25.080 --> 33:27.080 - True! - Amazing! 33:28.040 --> 33:29.880 Sir, please check this. 33:30.480 --> 33:31.720 It will make a great reel, sir. 33:35.200 --> 33:36.960 There's no light on my face. 33:40.520 --> 33:41.919 What kind of reel is this? 33:41.920 --> 33:42.839 Lovely! 33:42.840 --> 33:44.960 - If I knew, I'd have used this light. - Ring light! 33:51.080 --> 33:52.839 You did all this for a reel? 33:52.840 --> 33:54.920 No, Kapil ji. No, Sidhu ji. 33:56.200 --> 33:58.000 To break the habit of watching reels, 33:59.120 --> 34:01.600 - you have to make a video… - Wow! 34:02.240 --> 34:04.119 - Amazing! -…and turn it into a reel, 34:04.120 --> 34:05.959 because that's all people watch! 34:05.960 --> 34:07.319 Well said. 34:07.320 --> 34:09.719 That's how you finally break free from reels. 34:09.720 --> 34:10.760 - Brilliant. - Wow. 34:11.360 --> 34:13.198 Only a diamond can cut a diamond. 34:13.199 --> 34:14.040 Bravo! 34:18.000 --> 34:19.840 Before I leave, I'll just say… 34:20.679 --> 34:22.840 "Stay away from the rat race 34:24.120 --> 34:26.040 that everyone calls a trend." 34:27.880 --> 34:30.119 "There's no winner in this race, 34:30.120 --> 34:32.119 we all get tired in the end." 34:32.120 --> 34:33.199 Incredible! 34:38.639 --> 34:39.920 Thank you so much. 34:42.080 --> 34:43.919 Carry on with your Joketantra. 34:43.920 --> 34:45.879 - Thank you, Saral ji. Thank you. - Lovely! 34:45.880 --> 34:47.920 - Wow! - Thank you. 34:59.480 --> 35:01.399 - He's a genius. - My God. 35:01.400 --> 35:04.119 We've touched on some serious topics now. 35:04.120 --> 35:07.239 Sir, we've heard that 35:07.240 --> 35:08.600 for the IAS, when you-- 35:09.200 --> 35:12.599 During the UPSC interview, they ask some really odd questions. 35:12.600 --> 35:13.599 - Tricky questions. - Yes. 35:13.600 --> 35:16.720 We got some weird questions too, so I wrote them down 35:17.400 --> 35:19.239 as they seemed unique. 35:19.240 --> 35:20.800 So I want to ask you, sir. 35:21.360 --> 35:24.720 If you ask an upset wife what happened, 35:25.440 --> 35:26.680 and she says, "Nothing," 35:27.640 --> 35:30.759 how do you find out what really happened? 35:30.760 --> 35:33.080 Well, what I usually do is, 35:33.600 --> 35:37.399 - I probe whatever hint there is. - I see. 35:37.400 --> 35:40.319 Or I say, "If it's nothing, then fine, all is well." 35:40.320 --> 35:41.280 And I just walk away. 35:41.880 --> 35:43.919 If you leave, she'll come 35:43.920 --> 35:45.840 and tell you what it is within five minutes. 35:48.040 --> 35:51.000 Second, if you already know what the issue is, 35:51.640 --> 35:54.359 and she's mad at someone, start praising that person. 35:54.360 --> 35:55.839 Yes. 35:55.840 --> 35:59.480 She'll explode in a few seconds and tell you everything that happened. 36:00.040 --> 36:01.239 Well, that's what I do. 36:01.240 --> 36:02.879 - Wonderful. - To each their own. 36:02.880 --> 36:04.039 Bravo! 36:04.040 --> 36:06.239 Zakir bhai doesn't seem to have experienced that. 36:06.240 --> 36:08.639 I lack the title of marriage, but I've tasted its true essence. 36:08.640 --> 36:10.240 Wow! Wow! 36:12.840 --> 36:15.079 The question is about the experience! 36:15.080 --> 36:18.519 - Answer the question. - If she says nothing, 36:18.520 --> 36:21.279 then I-- Well, I don't have as much experience as he does. 36:21.280 --> 36:22.919 So, I just ask, "What happened?" 36:22.920 --> 36:26.119 You just have to soften them up a bit. "Baby, what's wrong? Please tell me." 36:26.120 --> 36:27.439 "Sorry." 36:27.440 --> 36:29.799 A man should start apologizing early. 36:29.800 --> 36:31.999 "No, it's my fault. I won't do it again." 36:32.000 --> 36:35.119 Then comes a new trick. Not sure if you've experienced this. 36:35.120 --> 36:37.359 - "Don't you know what happened?" - Exactly. That's… 36:37.360 --> 36:39.599 I don't even know what day today is! 36:39.600 --> 36:42.799 What are you saying? Papa would ask-- He's sitting here. 36:42.800 --> 36:44.559 He's been asking me since seventh grade, 36:44.560 --> 36:46.240 "Have you thought about your future?" 36:47.960 --> 36:49.680 I haven't even planned tonight! 36:51.400 --> 36:54.199 - How can I plan my life? - Does he still ask? 36:54.200 --> 36:57.279 My father really regrets that I didn't learn to play the sitar. 36:57.280 --> 36:59.239 "Learning the sitar would've been better." 36:59.240 --> 37:00.679 So when I got back 37:00.680 --> 37:03.119 - from my big, famous tour in the US… - Did you play the sitar? 37:03.120 --> 37:05.559 …there was a sitar at home, so I picked it up. 37:05.560 --> 37:07.439 Papa was shaving. 37:07.440 --> 37:09.880 He stepped out of the bathroom and said, 37:10.920 --> 37:12.399 "You're so talented." 37:12.400 --> 37:14.920 "Had you done a proper job, you'd have achieved global recognition." 37:17.640 --> 37:18.760 I mean… 37:19.640 --> 37:22.919 Man, when you do stand-up, 37:22.920 --> 37:26.319 play the sitar someday too. People would love it. It's like a bonus. 37:26.320 --> 37:29.119 I'm just scared of him, man! Otherwise, I'd gladly do it. 37:29.120 --> 37:31.479 I stayed away from performing in Indore for ages, 37:31.480 --> 37:33.479 scared he might scold me in public. 37:33.480 --> 37:36.800 Like, "Look at Khan sahab's son, cracking jokes!" 37:37.600 --> 37:39.399 You know what, though? 37:39.400 --> 37:41.239 Whenever I perform in Indore 37:41.240 --> 37:43.159 and they put up billboards, 37:43.160 --> 37:45.519 my name is never on them. 37:45.520 --> 37:48.119 They always say, "Khan sahab's son." Because… 37:48.120 --> 37:49.720 - How sweet. - My God! 37:51.960 --> 37:54.319 Because, in that city, I don't think I can ever surpass him. 37:54.320 --> 37:57.759 That's my identity. People just ask, "Is he Khan sir's son?" 37:57.760 --> 37:59.879 So whenever I do a show there, 37:59.880 --> 38:02.720 - it's never Zakir Khan-- - Man, that's a compliment for him. 38:03.280 --> 38:07.080 When a son is known by his father, you know the father is truly great, boss! 38:08.080 --> 38:09.080 Well, he-- 38:11.160 --> 38:14.040 Now, I have a question for Tripathi ji's son. 38:14.960 --> 38:17.599 Sir, after talking for hours on end, 38:17.600 --> 38:20.759 when someone asks, "What else?" what do you even say? 38:20.760 --> 38:23.360 Just assume they want your OTP. 38:27.520 --> 38:30.320 They probably want your OTP and phone passcode. 38:31.320 --> 38:35.720 Yeah, hang up right away. There's nothing left to discuss. 38:38.360 --> 38:41.239 Sir, we have a tradition for our audience members. 38:41.240 --> 38:43.199 We give them a chance 38:43.200 --> 38:45.879 to connect with the stars they admire and speak with them. 38:45.880 --> 38:48.759 - Yes, brother. - Hello, everyone. I'm Aditya. 38:48.760 --> 38:51.039 Sir, I have an issue in my life. 38:51.040 --> 38:54.839 I can't seem to stay in one job for long. 38:54.840 --> 38:57.959 I studied computer engineering. 38:57.960 --> 39:00.439 - I see. - Now I'm working in the food industry. 39:00.440 --> 39:02.399 I also like gaming. 39:02.400 --> 39:06.959 I mean, I just can't seem to decide what I want to do with my life. 39:06.960 --> 39:08.560 Can you do embroidery work on dupattas? 39:10.040 --> 39:12.999 Don't look at me when saying that. Ask him instead. 39:13.000 --> 39:14.680 I'm a confused man myself. 39:15.400 --> 39:17.000 I still haven't figured out what to do. 39:18.640 --> 39:22.039 Ahmad Faraz was a poet. One of his lines is very fitting. 39:22.040 --> 39:23.519 Yes, sir. 39:23.520 --> 39:25.520 "Some found their destination the moment they set out, 39:26.040 --> 39:28.319 while some, like us, journeyed on for a lifetime." 39:28.320 --> 39:30.320 - Wow. - Beautiful. 39:31.920 --> 39:35.840 The way I see it, you should try something for a while 39:36.400 --> 39:39.759 and see if you truly enjoy it. 39:39.760 --> 39:42.319 Figure out what you want within a year or so, 39:42.320 --> 39:44.079 or life will pass you by. 39:44.080 --> 39:47.319 - Thank you. - Try pranayama and clear your head. 39:47.320 --> 39:50.560 What if one day you're married 39:51.320 --> 39:53.159 and out with your wife, 39:53.160 --> 39:54.400 and then you see someone else's… 39:56.800 --> 39:59.359 Get it? Don't let it get to that level. 39:59.360 --> 40:01.119 - I have an answer too. - Yes. 40:01.120 --> 40:02.919 Do you have a girlfriend? 40:02.920 --> 40:04.639 No, not right now. Sorry. 40:04.640 --> 40:07.159 Find someone. You'll date for two or three years, 40:07.160 --> 40:08.679 then the marriage talk starts. 40:08.680 --> 40:10.999 She'll ask you what she should tell her family. 40:11.000 --> 40:12.479 Okay? 40:12.480 --> 40:14.760 The pressure will be such that you'll gain clarity instantly. 40:20.120 --> 40:22.639 Pankaj ji, were you confused before getting into acting? 40:22.640 --> 40:24.719 - No. No-- - In your student days? 40:24.720 --> 40:27.639 - I wanted to be a student leader too. - I see. 40:27.640 --> 40:30.639 The police beat me so badly, I changed my mind that very day. 40:30.640 --> 40:31.640 I knew 40:32.280 --> 40:33.799 there was beating involved. 40:33.800 --> 40:36.599 So-- I even worked at a hotel for two years. 40:36.600 --> 40:40.240 While peeling onions and potatoes, I felt my destiny lay elsewhere. 40:40.960 --> 40:42.919 Eventually, I got into acting. 40:42.920 --> 40:45.920 So, these things happen. It's natural. Let it take its course. 40:46.640 --> 40:48.239 Thank you, sir. 40:48.240 --> 40:50.039 - Thank you. Anyone else? - Thank you. 40:50.040 --> 40:50.920 Yes, brother. 40:51.520 --> 40:53.239 - Hello, everyone. Hi, Kapil sir. - Hello. 40:53.240 --> 40:55.160 - Hello, sir. Am I not among "everyone"? - My name-- 40:56.400 --> 40:58.319 - My name is Hitesh. - Yes, Hitesh. Welcome. 40:58.320 --> 41:01.759 At home, whenever I ask or suggest doing something, they say, 41:01.760 --> 41:02.959 "Not right now." 41:02.960 --> 41:06.799 If I ask them to buy me a phone, they say, "No. Earn it and save it." 41:06.800 --> 41:09.559 At your age, you're still asking your family for a phone? 41:09.560 --> 41:11.120 - Or if I ever-- - They're totally right. 41:11.840 --> 41:16.559 Or if I say, "Let's buy this car," they'll say, "No, not now." 41:16.560 --> 41:17.959 "Save your money." 41:17.960 --> 41:21.239 So the question is, what's our biggest enemy? 41:21.240 --> 41:22.759 Money or our desires? 41:22.760 --> 41:24.680 You're your family's biggest enemy. 41:25.720 --> 41:27.160 Sitting around… 41:29.360 --> 41:30.879 Sitting around, making demands! 41:30.880 --> 41:34.039 No, sir. I'm involved in our family business too. 41:34.040 --> 41:36.799 But whenever I bring up spending money, 41:36.800 --> 41:38.679 they refuse to hear me out. 41:38.680 --> 41:40.799 - It's all part of the family business. - Yes, correct. 41:40.800 --> 41:42.519 They built it all up. 41:42.520 --> 41:43.840 They… 41:44.440 --> 41:46.240 They let him sit there. 41:48.000 --> 41:50.039 What's your family business? 41:50.040 --> 41:51.679 We're in the wholesale footwear business. 41:51.680 --> 41:53.800 Did your dad ever hurl footwear at you? 41:56.440 --> 41:58.359 It hasn't come to that. 41:58.360 --> 42:01.040 Keep making such demands, and it'll happen soon. 42:02.400 --> 42:04.999 Thank you for coming, Hitesh. Anyone else? 42:05.000 --> 42:06.919 - Hi, sir. Everyone. - Hello. 42:06.920 --> 42:08.319 My name is Avishkar Singh. 42:08.320 --> 42:09.719 Your name is "Avishkar"? 42:09.720 --> 42:10.719 - Lovely name. - Yes, sir. 42:10.720 --> 42:12.999 - Never heard that one. That's new. - Me too. 42:13.000 --> 42:14.480 So, were you born, or… 42:18.600 --> 42:22.199 I have a question for all of you, especially Vikas sir. 42:22.200 --> 42:23.679 You've given so many lectures. 42:23.680 --> 42:25.119 I have one question for you. 42:25.120 --> 42:28.959 As Zakir bhai said, if you want some clarity in life, get a girlfriend. 42:28.960 --> 42:32.399 So, sir, how many attempts do we get to find a girlfriend, 42:32.400 --> 42:34.920 and when should we leave it to our parents? 42:36.240 --> 42:39.199 I seriously think you need one or two breakups. 42:39.200 --> 42:42.279 - The maturity that comes after a breakup… - Yeah. 42:42.280 --> 42:44.239 …will make the next one work. 42:44.240 --> 42:45.639 Absolutely. 42:45.640 --> 42:48.759 And how many attempts before we finally leave it to our parents? 42:48.760 --> 42:50.639 After once or twice. 42:50.640 --> 42:52.839 No, sir, that's just not true. 42:52.840 --> 42:54.920 - Is it because your parents are here? - No, no. 42:56.480 --> 42:58.879 No, no. A lot of my friends talk about this. 42:58.880 --> 43:02.359 They think we completely failed in terms of skill. Okay? 43:02.360 --> 43:04.959 - Sure… - Maybe our parents can find the one. 43:04.960 --> 43:07.599 - Yeah. - Our communication is bad anyway. 43:07.600 --> 43:10.599 Sir made a good point. You need one or two breakups. 43:10.600 --> 43:15.080 After that, you become a lot wiser and get more clarity. But just one or two! 43:16.040 --> 43:17.639 Or your parents will take care of it. 43:17.640 --> 43:19.039 - That's for sure. - Yes. 43:19.040 --> 43:20.639 What if your parents are relying on you? 43:20.640 --> 43:21.760 And you are? 43:24.840 --> 43:28.320 - Come on. - Come on. Give ma'am a mic too, please. 43:31.040 --> 43:33.639 - Are you married? - Yes. I'm here with my father-in-law. 43:33.640 --> 43:35.760 Father-in-law? Your husband didn't come? 43:36.640 --> 43:39.720 Did your husband find you, or did his parents find you? 43:41.000 --> 43:42.920 - Mic, mic! - Turn on her mic, sir. 43:43.760 --> 43:45.440 Who's the guy fixing your mic? 43:47.400 --> 43:48.480 Your in-laws' son? 43:50.040 --> 43:52.279 - Who is he? - No. 43:52.280 --> 43:53.479 She came with him. 43:53.480 --> 43:54.720 Why hold onto her? 43:57.800 --> 44:01.279 If a guy's mic broke, he wouldn't care. But he's all eyes for her! 44:01.280 --> 44:02.839 Yes, ma'am, go ahead. 44:02.840 --> 44:04.399 It's a very family-oriented setting. 44:04.400 --> 44:07.159 We talked, and I found out he's in the sari business. 44:07.160 --> 44:08.520 And yet he wore a T-shirt. 44:14.600 --> 44:16.799 So you made friends sitting here. 44:16.800 --> 44:18.119 - We are. - Yes. 44:18.120 --> 44:19.519 So give him some wisdom. 44:19.520 --> 44:22.759 At a certain age, you realize parents depend on you too. 44:22.760 --> 44:24.159 Did you marry for love? 44:24.160 --> 44:26.279 - Yes, it's a love marriage. - I see. 44:26.280 --> 44:30.239 We were smart. We found out early. You figure it out between 24 and 28. 44:30.240 --> 44:32.519 Bhaisahab, how old are you? 44:32.520 --> 44:34.679 - Twenty-three. - You're just 23? 44:34.680 --> 44:36.999 - Is 24 the theme lately? - Hitesh, what do you do? 44:37.000 --> 44:39.839 - I work as cabin crew. - I see. 44:39.840 --> 44:41.519 Kapil ji, I have something to say too. 44:41.520 --> 44:42.599 Yes? 44:42.600 --> 44:44.160 Give ma'am a mic too. 44:44.840 --> 44:46.479 - Hello, Kapil ji. Namaste. - Hello. 44:46.480 --> 44:47.719 I'm cabin crew. 44:47.720 --> 44:49.279 Cabin crew? Are you with him? 44:49.280 --> 44:50.400 No, no. 44:51.880 --> 44:53.960 Kapil, send a mic there! Sparks might fly. 44:55.760 --> 44:58.640 Oh! Hold on a second! 45:01.760 --> 45:04.159 - What's your name? - My name's Anjali. 45:04.160 --> 45:06.199 - Hi, Anjali. How are you? - Anjali, from Mumbai. 45:06.200 --> 45:07.719 I'm good. How are you? 45:07.720 --> 45:11.079 Okay, so, Anjali, he's cabin crew too. 45:11.080 --> 45:12.559 Yes. 45:12.560 --> 45:14.560 Look, the guy's unique. He's an invention! 45:17.040 --> 45:18.480 So, do you like him? 45:19.840 --> 45:22.880 - Well… - He's desperate enough to say yes. 45:26.680 --> 45:28.640 - Do you like him? - Oh, man! 45:31.480 --> 45:32.920 Now ask him. 45:38.320 --> 45:39.879 The boy's opinion matters. 45:39.880 --> 45:41.279 She has great values. 45:41.280 --> 45:43.720 - Absolutely, sir. - She just said, "Now ask him." 45:45.720 --> 45:48.639 - She's nice, sir. - Marrying him will be so confusing. 45:48.640 --> 45:50.479 Imagine having guests, and she goes, "Avishkar!" 45:50.480 --> 45:52.720 The guests will say, "Not invented yet?" 45:57.200 --> 45:58.920 So, is that a yes from you? 46:00.320 --> 46:01.639 Yes, sure. 46:01.640 --> 46:03.960 Zakir bhai, you gave me this idea. I'm starting a new business. 46:05.120 --> 46:06.800 We do matchmaking here too. 46:08.000 --> 46:10.040 - So, is it a yes? - Zakir bhai, what do I say? 46:10.640 --> 46:12.720 You were so eager just a moment ago. 46:13.360 --> 46:15.400 And now-- Zakir bhai can't even get anyone himself! 46:18.800 --> 46:22.839 Look, your decision may be right or wrong, 46:22.840 --> 46:24.640 but your situation screams yes. 46:29.400 --> 46:30.959 Thank you both so much. 46:30.960 --> 46:32.439 Anyone else? 46:32.440 --> 46:35.680 - Hello, sir. I'm Anuj Kishore Brahman. - Hello. Okay. 46:36.280 --> 46:39.199 Sir, we're all final-year MBBS students. 46:39.200 --> 46:41.959 - Wow, we have doctors here! - So, sir, the thing with us is-- 46:41.960 --> 46:44.039 - Educated people are our fans! Awesome! - Doctors. 46:44.040 --> 46:45.719 Huge fans, sir! Really! 46:45.720 --> 46:48.479 - Go ahead. - The thing is, sir, in our profession, 46:48.480 --> 46:50.999 even if we study for the next ten years, 46:51.000 --> 46:53.239 we still can't reach the very top. 46:53.240 --> 46:56.519 And by the time we joined this field, 46:56.520 --> 46:58.239 the market got saturated. 46:58.240 --> 47:02.559 You know, when doctors say their profession is in crisis, 47:02.560 --> 47:04.159 that's actually good news for us! 47:04.160 --> 47:06.519 - No… - It means everyone's healthy. 47:06.520 --> 47:09.759 Genuinely, sir. The thing is, you set up an OPD, then you go there-- 47:09.760 --> 47:11.599 It'll be like this for ten years. 47:11.600 --> 47:13.519 Meanwhile, we have other friends 47:13.520 --> 47:16.239 who make and post reels, get subscribers, 47:16.240 --> 47:18.519 get collabs, brand deals, 47:18.520 --> 47:20.999 and make so much money, 47:21.000 --> 47:23.919 while even with quality education, 47:23.920 --> 47:26.599 we'll spend ten years wondering what to do. 47:26.600 --> 47:29.359 MBBS students are getting confused by influencers. 47:29.360 --> 47:32.999 Look, not every influencer makes it. Not every piece of content works. 47:33.000 --> 47:36.239 It's tough there too. Zakir bhai started out on YouTube, 47:36.240 --> 47:37.679 so he can explain it better to you. 47:37.680 --> 47:41.079 The people you know in this field don't necessarily make a lot of money. 47:41.080 --> 47:42.599 You must have seen so many. 47:42.600 --> 47:44.999 The influencers you followed in 2015, 47:45.000 --> 47:46.719 you probably didn't see by 2024. 47:46.720 --> 47:48.719 - Yes. - Yes. They faded away with the trend. 47:48.720 --> 47:50.079 That's the reality of that job. 47:50.080 --> 47:53.639 People in this field have a very high dropout rate. 47:53.640 --> 47:56.279 - Yes. - You only remember those who made it. 47:56.280 --> 47:58.799 At the same time, plenty of unknown doctors are thriving. 47:58.800 --> 48:00.719 - Right, sir. - It's actually counterproductive. 48:00.720 --> 48:04.199 Every path has its bumps. It just looks smooth from where you stand. 48:04.200 --> 48:06.039 The grass is always greener on the other side. 48:06.040 --> 48:07.440 When it comes to him… 48:08.040 --> 48:12.760 Only one in a thousand becomes a superstar on social media. 48:14.360 --> 48:15.200 And… 48:17.120 --> 48:21.399 And there's a special satisfaction that comes from saving a life as a doctor. 48:21.400 --> 48:22.359 Yes, sir, that's true. 48:22.360 --> 48:26.479 We can say we brightened someone's hour or made their day. 48:26.480 --> 48:29.119 But saving a life? That is a satisfaction only you can understand. 48:29.120 --> 48:30.440 Only if you actually save one. 48:32.120 --> 48:33.800 - Thank you so much. - Thank you. 48:34.840 --> 48:37.319 I used to think-- Actually, someone told me 48:37.320 --> 48:40.119 that shows like Kapil's are entirely scripted. 48:40.120 --> 48:41.079 It's all written. 48:41.080 --> 48:43.439 - No way. - Guests get a script beforehand, 48:43.440 --> 48:45.039 which they have to follow word for word. 48:45.040 --> 48:47.639 When I got invited, I thought I'd have to memorize a lot. 48:47.640 --> 48:50.159 - Okay. - Until yesterday, nobody sent me anything. 48:50.160 --> 48:51.519 - I see. - So I asked the team-- 48:51.520 --> 48:53.919 Until yesterday, even we had no idea what we were going to do. 48:53.920 --> 48:57.959 Today I nervously asked, "Is there a script?" 48:57.960 --> 49:00.079 That's when I found out it's all done on the spot. 49:00.080 --> 49:03.079 - Indeed, sir. - You've got incredible wit, honestly. 49:03.080 --> 49:04.679 - Thank you, sir. - I mean, you're too good. 49:04.680 --> 49:06.760 Coming from you, a compliment means so much to all of us. 49:35.600 --> 49:37.000 Pay respect! 49:39.480 --> 49:41.159 Behold! 49:41.160 --> 49:43.000 - Mithun! - Attention! 49:43.600 --> 49:44.519 Mithun! 49:44.520 --> 49:46.280 The King of Kings, 49:47.080 --> 49:49.960 Emperor Akbar, approaches! 49:51.280 --> 49:56.320 The one who reached into a lion's mouth 49:57.040 --> 49:58.680 and ripped its jaw right out! 49:59.560 --> 50:03.680 The mighty and valiant king approaches! 50:04.960 --> 50:06.160 The one who… 50:08.080 --> 50:13.239 defeated his enemies and raised his royal flag! 50:13.240 --> 50:17.160 The mighty and valiant king approaches! 50:18.400 --> 50:20.080 - The one who-- - Hey, you! 50:21.840 --> 50:25.040 I can only come if you let me! 50:26.720 --> 50:29.999 It feels like you're stopping me from arrive-ifying! 50:30.000 --> 50:31.400 "Arrive-ifying!" 50:33.320 --> 50:35.359 Arrive-ify me properly. 50:35.360 --> 50:38.640 Arrive-ify me, if you will, or don't arrive-ify me! 50:41.840 --> 50:45.520 I apologize for your insolence, Father! 50:46.880 --> 50:48.560 Sorry. Please proceed. 50:49.120 --> 50:51.319 - Splendid. My lord! - Oh, boy! 50:51.320 --> 50:52.399 Yellow shoes too! 50:52.400 --> 50:54.680 Wow! Magnificent! 50:56.680 --> 51:00.839 What place is this, friends? What kind of court is this? 51:00.840 --> 51:03.599 - Wow. - Whose realm have we entered, Prince? 51:03.600 --> 51:06.079 This is the Sultanate of Netflix! 51:06.080 --> 51:07.480 - Tu-dum! - Yes. 51:10.200 --> 51:11.119 Tu-dum! 51:11.120 --> 51:13.720 And here, a grand court is convened 51:14.680 --> 51:17.320 for The Great Indian Kapil Show. 51:18.680 --> 51:21.879 - The Great Indian Kapil Show. - Yes! 51:21.880 --> 51:23.920 This handsome lad sitting here, 51:25.240 --> 51:28.319 he invites legends here 51:28.320 --> 51:31.120 and engages in conversations with them. 51:32.360 --> 51:34.039 So you converse. 51:34.040 --> 51:35.760 - Yes. - Then what do they do? 51:36.800 --> 51:40.240 They just go "hoo-hoo-hoo" to that. 51:47.560 --> 51:48.400 Wow! 51:50.840 --> 51:52.799 Splendid, splendid! 51:52.800 --> 51:54.160 Carry on, carry on. 51:54.840 --> 51:58.519 Anyway, I can see many guests have arrived here. 51:58.520 --> 52:00.479 - Yes! - Introduce me to them. 52:00.480 --> 52:02.240 Certainly, Father. 52:03.600 --> 52:05.760 In this mighty kingdom, 52:06.760 --> 52:09.400 he stands the shortest of all. 52:11.800 --> 52:13.600 Sprawling in all directions. 52:15.240 --> 52:17.440 Hair sprouts from his ears, 52:18.160 --> 52:21.159 and he snores while sleeping. 52:21.160 --> 52:22.040 Okay? 52:22.560 --> 52:26.240 Why stop there? You might as well tell them where all my moles are! 52:26.880 --> 52:29.880 - Sure, why not? On the left thigh-- - Hey, hey! 52:33.400 --> 52:36.120 - What? - I didn't mean for real! 52:36.800 --> 52:39.480 Spare me, please. Tell me about them. 52:40.120 --> 52:42.600 How would I know where their moles are? 52:48.000 --> 52:49.480 Getting too personal, pal. 52:50.440 --> 52:52.919 I'm not asking about their moles. 52:52.920 --> 52:53.959 Then? 52:53.960 --> 52:57.439 Introduce them. Who are they, and where are they from? Tell me. 52:57.440 --> 52:59.199 Oh, in that sense! 52:59.200 --> 53:00.400 Well… 53:01.960 --> 53:03.199 who doesn't know him? 53:03.200 --> 53:04.559 I don't. 53:04.560 --> 53:05.400 Yeah, I know. 53:06.680 --> 53:08.120 That's why I'm telling you. 53:11.560 --> 53:15.359 The uncrowned king of comedy, 53:15.360 --> 53:18.360 Kapil Sharma, has invited him to his show, so he must be somebody. 53:24.200 --> 53:26.040 He must be somebody. 53:28.160 --> 53:30.840 Oh, now I remember! Have a seat, Zakir Khan. 53:32.200 --> 53:33.679 It's Zakir Khan! 53:33.680 --> 53:35.280 - Zakir Khan! - Yes. 53:36.000 --> 53:37.479 Papa Yaar. 53:37.480 --> 53:39.560 - Yes! - Yeah! 53:41.200 --> 53:43.199 So his papa is your "yaar"? 53:43.200 --> 53:44.639 - No. - Then? 53:44.640 --> 53:48.959 I mean, he has a special on Netflix called Papa Yaar. 53:48.960 --> 53:50.039 Oh, I see. 53:50.040 --> 53:51.199 I saw it. 53:51.200 --> 53:53.000 - I was feeling sleepy. - What? 53:53.680 --> 53:58.199 No, I was feeling sleepy, but watching it woke me right up! 53:58.200 --> 54:00.279 Brilliant. I have to admit. 54:00.280 --> 54:03.000 Let's have a big round of applause for Papa Yaar. 54:04.000 --> 54:05.319 Incredible! 54:05.320 --> 54:06.880 He covers it up so well! 54:08.480 --> 54:10.079 Introduce him as well. 54:10.080 --> 54:11.799 Who doesn't know him? 54:11.800 --> 54:13.400 - I don't. - So I'm telling you. 54:15.400 --> 54:16.840 In the film world, 54:17.880 --> 54:19.320 his neck does all the acting… 54:21.720 --> 54:23.840 leaving everyone amazed! 54:27.600 --> 54:30.680 He's the first actor who doesn't even need dialogue. 54:35.280 --> 54:37.160 That's Pankaj Tripathi ji. 54:37.840 --> 54:41.040 Oh! Pankaj Tripathi, it's you! 54:41.920 --> 54:46.319 I've seen all your films. I'm such a huge fan of yours. 54:46.320 --> 54:49.839 No joke, really. But let me tell you all something. 54:49.840 --> 54:53.919 Today, joining all of you, a truly gorgeous, 54:53.920 --> 54:57.919 delicate lady was also supposed to be here. 54:57.920 --> 55:00.319 - But she didn't come. - Why, Father? 55:00.320 --> 55:02.279 Because he told her, 55:02.280 --> 55:04.320 "O Stree, come tomorrow." 55:11.480 --> 55:14.360 He tells his own jokes and laughs at them himself. 55:16.560 --> 55:19.120 He's both Kapil and Archana rolled into one. 55:19.880 --> 55:20.840 Keep laughing! 55:25.000 --> 55:27.559 Sometimes, funny things just come out. 55:27.560 --> 55:28.879 - Just come out. - Yes. 55:28.880 --> 55:31.039 Anyway, our spies informed us. 55:31.040 --> 55:34.279 See, our acting styles are quite similar. 55:34.280 --> 55:36.159 - Really? - Yes. 55:36.160 --> 55:40.759 So, they suggested I venture into acting as well. 55:40.760 --> 55:41.759 Please do. 55:41.760 --> 55:44.519 Looks like the spies forgot to tell you… 55:44.520 --> 55:47.799 - What? -…he acts by tilting his neck. 55:47.800 --> 55:51.040 And you don't even have a neck to tilt! 55:53.040 --> 55:54.600 Come on, man! 55:55.600 --> 55:58.719 All the heat you're giving me, 55:58.720 --> 56:00.679 put it into cooking biryani instead. 56:00.680 --> 56:03.440 At least I'd get a meal out of it! 56:04.000 --> 56:06.479 Every time I sit down to eat with you, 56:06.480 --> 56:08.800 there's "least" food left! 56:12.240 --> 56:15.519 Vikas ji, you know history well, but you may not know this. 56:15.520 --> 56:18.359 There are stories about me that the world has never heard. 56:18.360 --> 56:22.119 I'd tell you, but praising myself would just sound like bragging. 56:22.120 --> 56:25.839 Prince, regale him with my war stories. 56:25.840 --> 56:27.680 Yes, Father. Come. 56:29.040 --> 56:31.040 Sir, what can I say about him? 56:31.720 --> 56:34.400 You must have heard of the Battle of Haldighati. 56:35.320 --> 56:38.000 He stormed the enemy fort 56:38.600 --> 56:42.520 and scrubbed all the rust in their bathrooms with sandpaper! 56:44.320 --> 56:45.480 Yes! 56:46.520 --> 56:50.720 Keep him in mind for rusty bathrooms and leaky taps! 56:51.720 --> 56:54.640 He gets five hours of work done in ten minutes. 56:55.840 --> 56:56.960 Insolent! 57:00.760 --> 57:03.040 You have angered me greatly. 57:04.040 --> 57:05.880 You shall be punished. 57:07.200 --> 57:12.559 I'll get an elephant drunk and unleash it on you! 57:12.560 --> 57:14.159 No, Father! 57:14.160 --> 57:15.839 No! No! 57:15.840 --> 57:18.640 I don't want you drinking because of me. 57:24.200 --> 57:25.240 No! 57:28.560 --> 57:30.680 What nonsense are you babbling? 57:31.360 --> 57:35.879 Enough of your insolence! You're banished from my kingdom! 57:35.880 --> 57:37.240 Oh, get lost! 57:39.120 --> 57:41.839 Even I don't want any of this, Daddy. 57:41.840 --> 57:42.800 "Daddy"? 57:43.720 --> 57:45.839 - "Father!" - What kingdom? 57:45.840 --> 57:48.120 If the king's son becomes king, 57:48.640 --> 57:51.880 people will call it nepotism and start trolling me! 57:53.160 --> 57:54.080 No way! 57:54.680 --> 57:58.039 Just wait and see. I'll work just as hard as them. 57:58.040 --> 58:00.559 I don't want your throne. Get lost. 58:00.560 --> 58:02.440 You won't get it anyway. 58:03.000 --> 58:06.119 A king's throne isn't merely a seat. 58:06.120 --> 58:07.999 It carries the hopes of the people. 58:08.000 --> 58:08.840 Yes! 58:09.400 --> 58:11.159 And by sitting on people's hope, 58:11.160 --> 58:14.080 you've squashed it flat! 58:18.400 --> 58:21.200 Six inches of hope have shrunk to two. 58:23.280 --> 58:25.040 I get this hope of the people 58:25.720 --> 58:29.080 fluffed up with cotton every week! 58:31.520 --> 58:32.800 He's unbelievable. 58:33.560 --> 58:34.519 Oh, get lost! 58:34.520 --> 58:36.879 I'll have you bound and captive! 58:36.880 --> 58:39.880 That's for the next episode, not this one. 58:43.040 --> 58:46.160 Not just me. You'll be bound to become a girl too! 58:54.560 --> 58:55.920 Just watch. 58:56.800 --> 58:59.239 - Don't be ridiculous, Daddy. - "Daddy." 58:59.240 --> 59:03.400 I'm leaving. Just you wait and watch-- Sir, give me your blessing. 59:04.080 --> 59:05.560 I'll become an IAS officer. 59:08.480 --> 59:11.240 - Jahangir… Jahangir will make IAS. - I… 59:15.600 --> 59:16.440 Just watch. 59:17.960 --> 59:19.360 I'll make IAS. 59:20.160 --> 59:22.880 I'll clear it on my first attempt. 59:26.480 --> 59:27.920 Why are you laughing? 59:29.000 --> 59:32.200 Someone who was born on the seventh attempt… 59:36.880 --> 59:38.799 is claiming to clear the IAS exam on his first! 59:38.800 --> 59:40.839 Making IAS isn't that easy. 59:40.840 --> 59:43.199 It takes hard work and studying. 59:43.200 --> 59:47.759 Out of a million aspirants, only 300 become IAS officers. Did you know that? 59:47.760 --> 59:48.999 Right, sir? 59:49.000 --> 59:50.999 You think I'm scared? 59:51.000 --> 59:52.439 Cancel. 59:52.440 --> 59:53.440 No. 59:54.760 --> 59:55.959 I will do 59:55.960 --> 59:59.599 a Netflix special like Zakir. Just you wait and watch! 59:59.600 --> 01:00:01.039 - Oh, sure. - Yeah! 01:00:01.040 --> 01:00:04.039 It takes a whole year to write a set. 01:00:04.040 --> 01:00:05.119 It's a lot of work. 01:00:05.120 --> 01:00:06.999 You think I'm scared? 01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:08.120 That's canceled too. 01:00:10.480 --> 01:00:12.639 Like Pankaj ji, 01:00:12.640 --> 01:00:15.319 I'll become a bona fide actor. You'll see! 01:00:15.320 --> 01:00:16.959 Twenty years! 01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:21.599 Twenty years of dedication and hard work brought him this far. 01:00:21.600 --> 01:00:23.080 Now I'm scared. 01:00:25.880 --> 01:00:26.920 That's canceled too. 01:00:28.200 --> 01:00:30.520 I'm your blood. Why would I work hard? 01:00:35.800 --> 01:00:36.960 Look. 01:00:37.680 --> 01:00:38.800 Everything's canceled. 01:00:39.360 --> 01:00:41.039 Now what will you do? 01:00:41.040 --> 01:00:43.680 Now I'll order horses online. 01:00:45.440 --> 01:00:46.759 "Order horses online." 01:00:46.760 --> 01:00:49.079 Let's go party. There's nothing to see here. 01:00:49.080 --> 01:00:50.959 - Shall we? - Let's go. 01:00:50.960 --> 01:00:52.799 - We'll take your leave now. - Okay. 01:00:52.800 --> 01:00:55.479 - Thank you so much. - The horse is here! Wait. 01:00:55.480 --> 01:00:56.560 The horse is here. 01:00:59.600 --> 01:01:00.519 A horse? 01:01:00.520 --> 01:01:03.240 Let's go, Father! 01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:04.680 Let's go. 01:01:05.400 --> 01:01:06.679 Let's go. 01:01:06.680 --> 01:01:07.920 Come on. 01:01:15.280 --> 01:01:16.880 A huge round of applause 01:01:17.560 --> 01:01:20.359 for Vikas sir, Pankaj bhai, and Zakir bhai. 01:01:20.360 --> 01:01:21.360 Please come, sir. 01:01:25.960 --> 01:01:27.839 Man, this episode was so much fun! 01:01:27.840 --> 01:01:31.199 It became my personal favorite, sir. 01:01:31.200 --> 01:01:32.999 - Thank you so much. - Thank you very much. 01:01:33.000 --> 01:01:33.920 Wonderful. 01:01:34.640 --> 01:01:36.359 - It's all Vikas sir. - Thank you, Vikas sir. 01:01:36.360 --> 01:01:38.479 Thanks so much for coming on the show. 01:01:38.480 --> 01:01:43.159 Friends, keep reading books. They make life wonderful. 01:01:43.160 --> 01:01:46.519 And even if you don't learn from books, life will teach you. 01:01:46.520 --> 01:01:49.320 Keep smiling and keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show. 01:01:49.880 --> 01:01:51.719 The festival of laughter has begun on Netflix! 01:01:51.720 --> 01:01:54.239 See you all again next Saturday. 01:01:54.240 --> 01:01:57.119 Till we meet again, good night and take care! 01:01:57.120 --> 01:01:58.920 Love you all! Thank you so much! 01:02:01.600 --> 01:02:05.240 Please welcome on stage the star cast of Yeh Prem Mol Liya. 01:02:06.520 --> 01:02:07.839 For the first time, 01:02:07.840 --> 01:02:10.639 there are as many people on stage as there are in the audience! 01:02:10.640 --> 01:02:13.959 On August 15, 1947, the day our country gained independence, 01:02:13.960 --> 01:02:16.439 Rajshri Productions was founded. 01:02:16.440 --> 01:02:18.959 As the British left, they handed over the government to Nehru 01:02:18.960 --> 01:02:20.160 and the camera to the Barjatyas. 01:02:21.600 --> 01:02:24.039 In Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!, during the shoe-stealing scene, 01:02:24.040 --> 01:02:26.679 Madhuri and Salman Khan ji chase each other, 01:02:26.680 --> 01:02:27.959 and the bed breaks. 01:02:27.960 --> 01:02:29.880 That really happened in his life! 01:02:31.680 --> 01:02:34.239 The dialogues in Sooraj sir's films are always a hit. 01:02:34.240 --> 01:02:35.360 Even his coughs become hits! 01:02:38.560 --> 01:02:40.999 You're wrapped in two saris. Who are you? 01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:43.799 Who do you think I could be? 01:02:43.800 --> 01:02:45.080 Oh, Alok Nath! 01:02:47.520 --> 01:02:50.000 All you have to say is, "I make rapchandus films." 01:02:51.080 --> 01:02:53.960 - Rap… rapchandus. - Rapchandus… films. 01:02:56.000 --> 01:02:58.319 - Listen up, stunners! - Listen up, stunners! 01:02:58.320 --> 01:03:00.919 - My… - My rapchandus movie is releasing! 01:03:00.920 --> 01:03:02.680 Keep dancing! 01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:07.079 Keep dancing! 01:03:07.080 --> 01:03:09.799 Keep swaying! 01:03:09.800 --> 01:03:11.680 Keep dancing! 01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:16.000 Keep dancing!