How are you?
How am I?
I'm a mess.
But I say I'm fine when people ask.
LEYLA'S LAST SUPPER
Because I find it difficult even to give myself an answer to this question.
I'm also overwhelmed by the search for the right thing.
If the right thing even exists. I don't know.
I couldn't find it.
I just want to feel good.
I want to be free of feeling stuck.
That's why I run away from questions.
Because I'm scared of what I'm going to answer.
"How are you?"
I'm running away.
That's my answer.
Leyla!
THANK YOU, NEXT
I'm always on edge.
As if there is always a defeat waiting for me around the corner.
A defeat?
Yes.
Like, there is this man.
I mean…
Not like that, but…
I mean, nothing happened between us.
Hello?
Because I was scared.
-Isn't she coming? -She's here.
-Where were you, Leyloş? -I'm here now.
And I was annoyed by him right from the beginning.
For me, he is danger.
Red flags hanging over him.
He says, "I'll make you suffer," from a thousand feet away.
He says, "I'm a narcissist."
"My ego is sky-high."
"I'm sly. I'm arrogant. I'm jealous."
Those red flags say, "I'm used to getting what I want."
But?
No buts. It is-- It was a magnetic attraction.
It wasn't something that couldn't be dealt with.
I didn't even want to get to know him.
These kinds of men aren't that likeable when you get to know them anyway.
When you see his weaknesses and flaws, would you still desire him fiercely?
I don't think so.
A relationship should be consistent.
That's the most important thing to me.
You should have the same concerns as your partner.
You should have the same dreams.
I have nothing in common with him.
I knew what he was on the very first day.
He's problematic.
He's been married and divorced three times!
And those people are still in his life.
His first wife, second wife, third wife…
They're always around him.
The man is a real collector.
No, I don't want to be one of his women.
I can't be, anyway. That's impossible.
I would have to be insane to become his fourth victim.
That's why I won't get close to him or be in a relationship with him.
Narcissistic guys like him can easily convince their prey.
You'd be wooed in no time.
He'll captivate you in such a way
that the next thing you know, you're sitting in front of the officiant.
And then it's…
Marriage.
Defeat.
I look at the relationships around me.
They all start eagerly.
Abundant promises, hasty vows.
The less confident they are, the louder they are.
"I do, till the end of time. I do, till death do us part."
And then?
Really, I wonder what exactly happens
and we start getting annoyed by one another this much?
Why do we start deceiving each other?
You know the love stories that are embedded in our DNA?
They don't really exist.
Because none of them are remotely close to reality.
You don't know how tiring it is…
How can everyone fall into the same obvious trap?
I don't know.
You get married to be closer.
Sure, go then!
Then you start to grow apart as soon as you get married.
No one is real. No one is sincere.
It's like they've covered all the wrinkles with plastic surgery.
We're surrounded by fake people who are all wrinkled up inside,
but filled with Botox outside.
Ugh! Maybe you should have picked a more cheerful costume.
THERE IS NO PLANET B
I'm looking at everyone here.
If you add up all these guys, they're not worth one Ömer.
I see it more and more every day.
No, my love. Look, I'm serious. Your ex can't be your next.
As famous thinkers say, "Thank you, next."
Funda!
My love!
We're breathlessly pursuing an illusion just to avoid saying, "I was wrong."
What about black? No.
This satin ecru-ish nude is sexier, huh?
Hmm. Can we see both the ecru and the black one please?
We detach from our true selves to avoid being alone.
Then we call it a long-term relationship.
It's actually a long-term death, nothing else.
Baby, what death are you talking about?
You've only been seeing each other for two weeks.
Is he coming to the party? Are we finally going to meet him?
Of course not. I didn't invite him.
It's only been two weeks. I wouldn't let him join us.
I didn't get him a present either.
Oh? Why didn't you buy a present? Buy something small, a book or something.
What if he bought you…
I'm afraid of settling for mediocrity.
Yes.
I'm afraid of looking in the mirror one day…
Thank you.
…and seeing that the light in my eyes has faded.
I'm afraid that the choices I'm sure of will wreck me one day.
I'm afraid of regretting.
Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five…
"I don't want to make promises. I don't want to take responsibility."
"I want to sleep with everyone I meet. And then I want to disappear."
That's the kind of relationships people have.
You see, there are guys who disappear without even leaving a message.
That's what I hear from my friends.
And of course, women don't go after them.
And then, loneliness…
is the only right option left for me.
What if I told you I missed the pandemic?
The pandemic or Ömer?
No, I don't think that's it.
Everyone was so different during the pandemic.
As if the end of the world was coming,
everyone sought shelter in each other.
Ömer moved in with you during the pandemic.
Right?
Not bad at all.
Bravo!
He's shocked.
All right. What's for dinner tonight?
A person's reality changes depending on the situation they are in.
In those days,
we feared our dreams would vanish and never come back.
Everything was so different in the beginning.
The whole world was focusing on a single problem,
everyone was fearing the same thing, fighting against a common enemy.
That was so encouraging.
-Leyla. -My dear.
-I love you so much. -Oh!
-What did you dream about? -It wasn't like a dream. It felt so real.
-Was I dead? -You were wearing a wedding dress.
And?
You were wearing your grandmother's wedding dress.
-What about my hair? Was my hair loose? -You were so beautiful!
But you were with Sarp.
No!
And you made me your wedding witness.
I tried to talk but couldn't.
When I opened my mouth, my lips disappeared.
Looking into my eyes, you shouted, "I do, till the end of time!"
No, Ömer.
I don't want to get married to him. I want to get married to you.
-You do? -Yes!
And then?
He kissed you.
It was awful. I cried a lot.
It was so frustrating.
That asshole.
Oh, Ömer!
Aw, poor you! Please don't cry, my sweetheart.
You lost me to that goof Sarp?
I must have lost my memory. How would I leave you otherwise?
Oh.
-I'll tell you what. -Yeah?
Shall we get married?
Huh?
-So Sarp won't steal me? -No, I'm serious. Shall we get married?
Okay.
Really?
Hooray! Ouch!
Are we engaged now?
-I have to tell my parents right away. -Do it.
The pandemic is over, and so is the dream.
We made decisions that we wouldn't normally make, in an instant.
I mean, I was still having second thoughts about living together.
Then he suddenly moved in, and it was a done deal.
But everyone has their own routine.
You can tolerate things up to a point. After that, it starts to bother you.
And when there is only one bathroom in the apartment,
there isn't much romance left.
Leyla, dear. A relationship is…
embracing everything about your partner.
Only you guys can do that.
You and Mom.
Unfortunately, my bar is set too high because of you two.
You're still very much in love with her, aren't you?
There aren't many words to describe what we have.
Oh, Dad! You guys are the best!
-You know what? -Yeah?
I'm glad you can finally talk about Ömer.
I got a bit too chatty lately.
Too much talk, zero relationships. I'm doing a detox.
Let's go to them.
We're here.
Buddy, dear! My love!
You couldn't stop talking behind my back, right?
No, we didn't even get started on you yet.
-That much? -That much.
Let's eat. The table's set.
All right. We're coming.
I heard we have a guest.
Is that so? Who?
Really?
Really. Your uncle invited me.
Okay, dear.
-Hello, Mr. Cem. -Hello.
Let me.
-Cem, welcome. -Hello. I'm not late, am I?
No, you're right on time as always.
Is this the professional serial killer?
Don't mention it. I'm glad you came.
-Happy birthday. -Thank you very much.
Reyhan, Mahir, let me introduce you to Cem Murathan.
He's our neighbor and client.
-My sister, Reyhan Taylan. -Nice to meet you.
-Welcome. -Thank you.
-My brother-in-law, Mahir Taylan. -Mr. Mahir.
Nice to meet you.
-We've actually met before. -Oh?
I mean, I went out of my way trying to meet you.
Why don't I know this?
Well…
-Yeah. -Please.
Can, these are the wines from the auction.
They're all from '72. You're the same age.
It's an exquisite gift. Thank you very much. You didn't need to.
You're welcome. Happy 50th.
-Enjoy. -Enjoy.
Enjoy.
-The wine is splendid. -Why don't you take a sip, Mahir?
Even a sip will hurt my stomach. I'm better off not drinking.
I'll give my share to Reyhan.
No objection at all.
So, shall we pick up where we left off, Cem?
I've been wondering about the rest of the story about you and my dad.
Oh, yeah. You were telling us about how we met.
I was studying architecture in Milan.
And you were a panelist there.
You were really excited about your new project.
2009.
Yes, 2009.
You were talking about the psychology of buildings.
You were talking about your new work with love, as if it were a woman.
Yes, I remember that.
I don't.
Dear, you started living with your uncle that year.
That takes me back. Yes, that was our first summer.
I was running after you, having panic attacks.
I really didn't know what to do with such a fiery girl running around.
I was like your nanny.
Which project was that, Dad?
Well, it didn't materialize.
So many things went wrong. We had to cancel it.
I see. What a shame.
Sorry to hear that.
It was a rather hard project to conduct.
It was more exciting on paper.
Then Reyhan was assigned to Tokyo, and we moved there.
But I let you decide, as always, my darling.
You didn't have to come.
But my home is always right beside you, my love.
There is definitely a story here.
Ah! A story, right.
We have stories everywhere around us, right, darling?
-To stories then. -Let's drink.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Happy birthday, Uncly!
Happy birthday to you!
Come here. Come…
How can he be 50? Explain it to me.
Stop reminding everyone. Let me blow out these candles.
Thank you very much for coming.
-To you. -Cheers.
You're quiet today.
My mouth is full.
Can we go for a walk? I want to talk.
If it's about Ms. Tuba's book,
it will be another project left on paper.
We'll issue a legal notice to the publisher this week.
It wasn't that, but I'm glad to hear it.
Your secrets will stay with you. You can rest easy.
Though another one was exposed tonight.
Why didn't you tell me you knew my father?
Right, we didn't have much opportunity to talk.
You're right.
You're angry with me.
I get that.
I'm not angry. I'm not angry with you.
Being angry is an expression of emotion.
I don't have any feelings about you.
Your presence and absence don't really make a difference.
That's why, on the contrary, it's good.
I'm happy that we didn't waste any time.
I'm even thankful.
Yes, there was an attraction between us. We were curious.
Now we won't wonder what if.
So, it's over.
It wasn't something unforgettable anyway.
It was just a fling.
So, you can relax.
It really didn't leave a mark on me.
I don't really want to talk about it, you know?
I'll check on my parents.
ÖMER CENKER AND THIS IS MY FAMILY ALBUM
-Stop being a demagogue. -I'm not being a demagogue.
That's your job, remember? You're the demagogue.
You're so happy to play the hero to Leyla,
you don't even realize the damage you've done.
I'm only keeping quiet because that's what you want.
It's fine by me. I can tell her everything.
You can only tell her what a feminist you are.
Go tell her you took my last name because of your father's debt.
Do you think I can't tell her that?
Tell her you can't drink because you're in alcoholism treatment.
Why are you hiding these things?
Tell her how you cheated on me with that scum.
She keeps going on about setting the bar. Show her how low the bar is.
Who the hell are you?
Everything is out in the open now.
Welcome to the real world, love.
So, Leyloş, what about that thing in 2009?
My father had an affair with a woman on the same project.
-Oh, really? -Then he regretted it and told Mom.
That's a big mistake.
So, Mom went to Tokyo. Ran away, to be accurate.
-Of course she did. She was right. -Yep.
I swear I'd have torn his balls off before leaving. Properly.
All right.
Thank you.
What did your father do?
What could he do? He left the project and went after Mom.
And they sent you away to your uncle to keep you out of the way, right?
Exactly.
I mean…
I think the wound is still fresh.
Dad still feels very guilty. Mom is still furious.
The slightest stirring triggers an earthquake.
But they've been together all these years.
They could've broken up if they wanted to, right?
Yeah.
I think they didn't get a divorce because of me.
There can be no other explanation.
-I don't think so. -Neither do I.
I think Dad…
cowered down not to lose his place in my eyes.
And as you know, Mom is allergic to failure.
She was too proud to get divorced.
-Right on time. -Is it your mom?
"Leyla, dear, we're going back this Wednesday."
"We'd love to see you before we go."
"Please let us know when you're available."
"We love you."
We love you. We are going.
We, we, we…
As you see, they're still a team.
They're still on their high horses.
Stop picking at it, for God's sake.
Even a dead body will fart if you poke it this much.
Good God!
Just don't drag it out.
Let them do whatever they want. It's their lives.
-Sarp, your mom's calling, dear. -Oh?
-So, now it's my mom's turn. -Do you want some salad?
Excuse me.
Hello, Mom?
Thanks, dear.
What?
-Which hospital? -What hospital?
Okay, I'm coming.
-What happened? -Sarp?
My dad had a heart attack. He's in intensive care.
-What? -Really?
-Should I turn anything off? -I don't know. Wait.
-Life is indeed a game. -I'll be back.
You think you have multiple lives. And then you realize you have none.
-Just when you think you've run out, ding! -Where are my keys?
-See you, Buddy! -Here's another life for you.
When you think you've had enough,
life reminds you of the end you think will never come.
Those endless struggles seem so childish then.
You feel ashamed of the problems that seemed huge to you.
When the heart runs out of oxygen, they say you feel a stinging pain.
Apparently, the pain actually alerts you to the heart attack.
Turns out, that pain is very important for your survival.
Angina pectoris.
They call that pain angina pectoris in medicine.
-Did you know that? -Of course not.
Shame on you.
Not arteriosclerosis Nor nicotine, nor prison
That's why, my dear Doctor That's why I have angina pectoris
Nâzım Hikmet.
This is how he got you, right? With poets and poems.
We'd meet on this bench every Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. sharp.
Mahir would come from his university, on the 1:15 bus.
And my class would end at 1:30 p.m.
And there he was, with sandwiches from Hisar Kiosk.
We'd have a picnic.
-Light on the chili. -Heavy on the pickles.
-Hot dogs. -Hot dogs.
-Always the same. -Then we would talk for hours.
We would recite poems, read books.
We would watch movies, sometimes argue.
But we laughed a lot.
That's how I always remember you.
-I've always-- -Look. Hold on.
I know where you're going with this.
Don't bring up the "bar" again, okay? There's no bar in a relationship.
A relationship is about understanding each other.
It's about empathy.
It's about patience.
About forgiveness.
It's about patience. About forgiveness.
Leyloş, you may lose interest in your partner over time. It may happen.
You may get distracted.
You may feel lost in the relationship.
Even a bit neglected.
I mean, it's not easy to love someone.
It's even harder to love someone despite their flaws.
Is there anyone flawless in this world? Can you show me?
Show me one. Come on.
Everything we've been through these 40 years is real.
It all belongs to us. We've accepted it.
This is not a game. It's not to put on a show for you.
But our love…
is much bigger than our mistakes, and that's why we're still together.
We are friends.
-We are lovers. -We are lovers.
-My love. -Darling.
My baby.
My dear girl.
My dear Ömer.
It breaks my heart that we haven't talked for the last couple of months.
I understand you.
You're trying to keep your distance
out of respect for the person in your life.
You're right. I accept it.
But when I can't talk to you, words grow inside me.
That's why I decided to write to you instead of waiting for the right time.
So many things happened lately.
For example, I got to know Mom and Dad all over again.
Dad stood in front of me, took off the hero mask, and threw it away.
Mom showed me her scars for the first time.
Turns out they are real people, can you believe it?
This brought me back to myself a bit.
I started getting the Z-report of my recent years.
I realized that I had made so many assumptions.
-You want some? -I never questioned them.
I simply took them for granted.
I never listened. Only expressed what I, myself, felt.
I didn't understand things fully. I was quick to judge.
Worst of all, I never mended my broken pieces.
I just left them lying there. And they cried after me.
You see, I'm still at the scene of the incident,
wandering through the wreckage.
I realized I had a major part in the damage we left behind.
Ömer left him downstairs.
-Thank you, Mr. Dursun. -You're welcome.
I understood that having the last word doesn't matter.
That victories and defeats both poison a relationship.
When you lose someone,
at first you're numb with the pain.
Then, gradually, it begins to sink in.
Your anger turns into regret, into understanding,
and then into longing.
It turns out, nothing is worth knowingly losing someone you love.
I know that very well now.
My dear Ömer, you are my precious one.
You're both my best friend
and the person I have always loved and will always love.
No matter what happens in our lives,
no matter who we are with,
I don't ever want to lose you.
Never ever.
I want you to know this.
-Thanks. -Maybe I should take Buddy?
You'll be visiting Sarp a lot. I'll keep him for a week, okay?
-Okay, all right. -Okay.
Buddy! Come on, boy. You're going.
Here.
-Do you want some coffee? -No, I'm fine.
Look, I bought these yesterday. They smell nice, and they're cheaper too.
Oh?
Thank you for your letter.
I read it over and over.
You shouldn't have kept it. It may cause you trouble.
No. I don't have anyone to answer to.
What? Is it over?
Yes, because…
you are my precious one too.
Very much so. You're the most precious one.
Like a photo I hold the negative of.
It can't be shared. Can't be copied. Can't be duplicated.
Oh, my boy!
-Oh, no! -Oh, my!
Coming. I can't bear to see you like this.
Okay, let's go.
Leyla!
-Where is Leyla? -Calm down, man.
-Ömer-- -Man! Ömer!
Bastard!
-I'll kill you! -Wait, what are you doing? Stop.
-I'll murder you! -Look at me.
-What are you doing, man? -I'll kill you!
-Stop. -Easy.
You'll never fool me again.
I hate you.
Ömer. Shall we play a game?