WEBVTT

00:00:28.987 --> 00:00:31.614 align:center
My bad! I thought I deactivated
all the security measures.

00:00:31.698 --> 00:00:33.575 align:center
This is one well-guarded dentist office.

00:00:33.658 --> 00:00:36.578 align:center
Not a dentist office.

00:00:36.661 --> 00:00:37.495 align:center
Really?

00:00:38.413 --> 00:00:40.331 align:center
So I didn't need to pull that guy's tooth?

00:00:40.415 --> 00:00:42.792 align:center
Does no one listen
to my pre-heist game plans?

00:00:42.876 --> 00:00:44.711 align:center
-You do those?
-No.

00:00:44.794 --> 00:00:48.006 align:center
This a high-tech pharmaceutical lab
that just developed a cream

00:00:48.089 --> 00:00:50.633 align:center
that replicates the properties
of the fountain of youth.

00:00:50.717 --> 00:00:53.595 align:center
We're gonna steal it
and turn it into cold, hard cash.

00:00:53.678 --> 00:00:54.846 align:center
Ooh-hoo-hoo!

00:00:54.929 --> 00:00:58.600 align:center
We should keep some for ourselves,
because good skincare is priceless.

00:00:58.683 --> 00:01:02.604 align:center
And you've all made it no secret
that my ingénue days are behind me.

00:01:06.733 --> 00:01:10.236 align:center
With all this security, there's got to be
more primo loot to steal.

00:01:10.320 --> 00:01:13.573 align:center
I haven't really satisfied
my steal-all-I-can-while-I-can itch yet.

00:01:16.117 --> 00:01:18.369 align:center
Snake, we got it.
Let's get out while we're ahead.

00:01:18.453 --> 00:01:19.996 align:center
You worry too much, Wolfie.

00:01:20.080 --> 00:01:22.624 align:center
Let me just grab a few more things.
It will be f--

00:01:22.707 --> 00:01:24.125 align:center
Whoa!

00:01:26.169 --> 00:01:27.086 align:center
Snake!

00:01:32.842 --> 00:01:36.596 align:center
Oh, no. He's… adorable!

00:01:38.056 --> 00:01:40.391 align:center
Me? Adorable?

00:01:40.475 --> 00:01:43.478 align:center
No!

00:02:15.802 --> 00:02:19.973 align:center
Thanks for the longest car ride
of my life, Piranha. It was so, uh…

00:02:20.056 --> 00:02:21.516 align:center
What's the opposite of fun?

00:02:22.100 --> 00:02:26.271 align:center
I will not apologize for driving safely
with such precious cargo on board.

00:02:26.354 --> 00:02:29.649 align:center
Who's a good little
baby Snakey! Yes, you are!

00:02:30.775 --> 00:02:33.570 align:center
I hate this! We gotta figure out
a way to change me back.

00:02:33.653 --> 00:02:37.448 align:center
Look on the bright side, Snake.
Now you can get away with way more crime.

00:02:37.532 --> 00:02:39.951 align:center
No one suspects a baby
of being a master thief.

00:02:40.034 --> 00:02:43.121 align:center
Yeah. Where would they even
stash their loot? Their diaper?

00:02:43.204 --> 00:02:46.833 align:center
-Should we all start wearing diapers?
-Hang on. That gave me an idea.

00:02:46.916 --> 00:02:50.211 align:center
Might be the first good idea
anyone in this group has ever had.

00:02:50.295 --> 00:02:52.005 align:center
Okay. Offensive.

00:02:52.088 --> 00:02:55.758 align:center
We could take advantage of
me being an adorable little twerp

00:02:55.842 --> 00:02:59.429 align:center
to pull off a BBBG.

00:02:59.512 --> 00:03:03.141 align:center
An IRL BBBG?

00:03:03.224 --> 00:03:06.936 align:center
Ooh! I thought the BBBG was only a myth,
like the benefits of vitamins.

00:03:07.020 --> 00:03:09.105 align:center
Are you spelling things
so I won't understand?

00:03:09.189 --> 00:03:10.732 align:center
Because that is not K-E-W-L!

00:03:10.815 --> 00:03:13.443 align:center
He's talking about
the Baby Basket Baron Gambit.

00:03:13.526 --> 00:03:16.029 align:center
The Baby Basket Baron Gambit?

00:03:16.112 --> 00:03:18.615 align:center
The most infamous long con of all time.

00:03:18.698 --> 00:03:22.452 align:center
The BBBG makes an LLLG look like a PPOK.

00:03:22.535 --> 00:03:24.537 align:center
The BBBG is simple.

00:03:24.621 --> 00:03:26.122 align:center
You start by leaving a child

00:03:26.206 --> 00:03:28.625 align:center
on the doorstep of a wealthy,
childless baron.

00:03:28.708 --> 00:03:30.043 align:center
You know, barons.

00:03:30.126 --> 00:03:31.294 align:center
Richie Rich tycoons

00:03:31.377 --> 00:03:35.131 align:center
who amass colossal wealth
to fill the hole in their hearts?

00:03:35.215 --> 00:03:38.509 align:center
The crooked kid
slowly embeds into the baron's life

00:03:38.593 --> 00:03:42.221 align:center
in order to find out where he keeps
his most prized possessions.

00:03:42.305 --> 00:03:43.348 align:center
Blinded by love,

00:03:43.431 --> 00:03:46.559 align:center
the baron suspects nothing
as the kid steals said possessions,

00:03:46.643 --> 00:03:48.937 align:center
before disappearing
under the cover of night.

00:03:49.020 --> 00:03:51.356 align:center
That sounds awesome.
I want to do the BBBG!

00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:54.317 align:center
No way! We're not doing a BBBG!
Let's move on!

00:03:56.110 --> 00:03:59.405 align:center
Can we all pretend
I said that in a non-shouty way?

00:03:59.489 --> 00:04:01.616 align:center
It feels like we're overlooking the fact

00:04:01.699 --> 00:04:04.118 align:center
that we just pulled off
a successful heist.

00:04:04.202 --> 00:04:08.122 align:center
Plus, I made some calls and have contacts
willing to fence the cream for us.

00:04:08.206 --> 00:04:12.961 align:center
Or they're on the fence about us.
I didn't have great reception.

00:04:13.044 --> 00:04:15.046 align:center
Either way, we should be celebrating,

00:04:15.129 --> 00:04:19.592 align:center
and figuring out a way to turn Snake
back into his hideous, adult self.

00:04:19.676 --> 00:04:21.010 align:center
Don't worry about me, Wolfie.

00:04:21.094 --> 00:04:24.931 align:center
A few cups of coffee and a week's worth
of world news will age me up in no time.

00:04:25.014 --> 00:04:28.268 align:center
Right now, we should focus on the BBBG.

00:04:29.894 --> 00:04:31.980 align:center
You okay, Wolf? Your eye is twitching.

00:04:32.063 --> 00:04:35.483 align:center
And a minute ago, you shouted at the top
of your lungs in a passionate rage.

00:04:35.566 --> 00:04:38.152 align:center
Is something from your past
driving your decision-making?

00:04:38.236 --> 00:04:40.071 align:center
-No.
-Great. Okay, so--

00:04:40.154 --> 00:04:42.448 align:center
It all happened when I was just a pup.

00:04:43.157 --> 00:04:45.326 align:center
My mentor and I tried to pull a BBBG.

00:04:45.410 --> 00:04:47.996 align:center
Things were going well,
but then I got in too deep.

00:04:48.079 --> 00:04:49.372 align:center
Once I was on the inside,

00:04:49.455 --> 00:04:52.583 align:center
there was so much to steal,
I lost track of the actual target.

00:04:52.667 --> 00:04:55.586 align:center
I didn't know
where the BBBG ended and I began.

00:04:55.670 --> 00:04:58.506 align:center
Ahem! Dramatic monologues are my thing.

00:04:58.589 --> 00:05:02.135 align:center
Right. Anyway, my mentor had to
blow my cover and pull me out.

00:05:02.218 --> 00:05:03.636 align:center
The whole thing was a disaster.

00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:07.598 align:center
And I vowed
never to try a con like that ever again.

00:05:07.682 --> 00:05:10.476 align:center
I hear you, Wolf.
You were a failure in the past.

00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:14.397 align:center
But The Bad Guys have done
just about every type of crime there is.

00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:17.150 align:center
Heists, burglaries,
larceny, petty and grand.

00:05:17.233 --> 00:05:18.818 align:center
Fraud, putting mayo on everything,

00:05:18.901 --> 00:05:21.279 align:center
using speakerphones in public,
piracy, both kinds.

00:05:21.362 --> 00:05:24.032 align:center
Not respecting TGIF,
leaving the toilet seat up,

00:05:24.115 --> 00:05:27.160 align:center
wet willies, dry willies,
humid Steves, grand theft auto.

00:05:27.243 --> 00:05:31.748 align:center
Buffet-sneezing, undertipping,
and crimes of fashion. Can't forget that.

00:05:31.831 --> 00:05:34.709 align:center
But we've never done a con.

00:05:34.792 --> 00:05:38.671 align:center
How can we call ourselves real criminals
if we haven't pulled a con?

00:05:38.755 --> 00:05:42.050 align:center
And besides, this time,
I'll be the one on the inside,

00:05:42.133 --> 00:05:43.551 align:center
and you'll be…

00:05:43.634 --> 00:05:45.261 align:center
Your mentor.

00:05:45.344 --> 00:05:48.848 align:center
You'll have to follow my plan
and do what I say. I'm in!

00:05:48.931 --> 00:05:50.475 align:center
Uh… Fine.

00:05:50.558 --> 00:05:53.227 align:center
All we need now
is to find a childless baron.

00:05:53.311 --> 00:05:54.145 align:center
Got one!

00:05:55.980 --> 00:05:58.483 align:center
What? I have a news alert
for newly arrived barons,

00:05:58.566 --> 00:06:01.736 align:center
recently departed bishops,
and limited-edition sneaker drops.

00:06:01.819 --> 00:06:03.863 align:center
His name is Baron von Tuskington.

00:06:03.946 --> 00:06:06.908 align:center
Just moved to town, and is always
photographed wearing this crown.

00:06:06.991 --> 00:06:09.285 align:center
I'm sure it's worth a pretty penny.

00:06:09.369 --> 00:06:13.456 align:center
There's crowns, and then there's crowns.

00:06:13.539 --> 00:06:15.375 align:center
Wowie!

00:06:16.167 --> 00:06:17.585 align:center
Well, we've got our target.

00:06:17.668 --> 00:06:19.545 align:center
Looks like The Bad Guys are…

00:06:19.629 --> 00:06:20.671 align:center
Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

00:06:20.755 --> 00:06:23.383 align:center
Well, I was thinking I would say it,
since it was my idea.

00:06:23.466 --> 00:06:24.509 align:center
Sure thing. Go ahead.

00:06:25.009 --> 00:06:28.012 align:center
-Looks like The Bad Guys are pulling--
-…are pulling a con!

00:06:32.475 --> 00:06:34.602 align:center
Okay, everyone remember the plan.

00:06:34.685 --> 00:06:37.146 align:center
Webs, you're going in
as Snake's stuffed animal.

00:06:37.230 --> 00:06:39.023 align:center
Once you're inside, set up your cameras

00:06:39.107 --> 00:06:41.067 align:center
so we find
where the baron keeps that crown.

00:06:41.150 --> 00:06:41.984 align:center
Copy.

00:06:42.068 --> 00:06:43.277 align:center
Snake, I know it's hard,

00:06:43.361 --> 00:06:46.989 align:center
but you're supposed to be a kid,
so you have to act like a little kid.

00:06:47.073 --> 00:06:50.034 align:center
Look how hideously adorable I am.
How could this not work?

00:06:50.118 --> 00:06:52.537 align:center
And remember,
don't let yourself get in too deep.

00:06:52.620 --> 00:06:56.624 align:center
The target is the crown. The crown.
Say it back to me. Crown.

00:06:56.707 --> 00:06:59.335 align:center
-Wolf, come on. I know what I'm doing.
-All right.

00:06:59.419 --> 00:07:01.629 align:center
The BBBG is a go.

00:07:05.091 --> 00:07:08.010 align:center
Debra! The door! It made a noise!

00:07:08.970 --> 00:07:09.887 align:center
Deb?

00:07:15.518 --> 00:07:18.354 align:center
Oh! Did I do it right?
I never opened a door before.

00:07:18.438 --> 00:07:19.814 align:center
It's fun!

00:07:27.947 --> 00:07:28.781 align:center
Oh, dear!

00:07:28.865 --> 00:07:31.200 align:center
An abandoned orphan at my doorstep.

00:07:32.243 --> 00:07:34.537 align:center
I'm afraid you've come at a terrible time.

00:07:34.620 --> 00:07:39.876 align:center
My girl Friday, Debra, has left
to "explore other opportunities," and…

00:07:41.294 --> 00:07:44.422 align:center
you see,
she usually handles this sort of thing.

00:07:44.505 --> 00:07:47.800 align:center
I'm sure you understand.

00:07:56.434 --> 00:07:59.270 align:center
What? It's not like I can just a-adopt…

00:08:24.170 --> 00:08:29.425 align:center
Was it impulsive for me to adopt
a random child left at my door? Perhaps.

00:08:29.508 --> 00:08:33.262 align:center
But they said the same thing about
me buying that soda factory

00:08:33.346 --> 00:08:35.932 align:center
just so I could force it
to stop making root beer.

00:08:36.015 --> 00:08:38.351 align:center
I mean, who likes root beer?

00:08:38.434 --> 00:08:39.894 align:center
Like, no one.

00:08:39.977 --> 00:08:42.271 align:center
Root beer is for suckers.

00:08:42.355 --> 00:08:45.274 align:center
See! That's why you're my boy.

00:08:45.358 --> 00:08:47.693 align:center
Good night, my precious son.

00:08:58.454 --> 00:09:01.165 align:center
Told you this would be a piece of cake.

00:09:01.249 --> 00:09:04.043 align:center
-Just don't lose focus. What's the target?
-The crown.

00:09:04.126 --> 00:09:06.754 align:center
Wolf, you gotta trust me. I got this.

00:09:06.837 --> 00:09:09.173 align:center
Time for phase two, finding that crown.

00:09:09.257 --> 00:09:11.842 align:center
Also phase two,
stop treating Webs like a ragdoll!

00:09:11.926 --> 00:09:15.137 align:center
Okay. I've tricked out this sippy cup
with a periscopic camera.

00:09:15.221 --> 00:09:17.974 align:center
We just get the baron to put it
wherever he keeps his goods.

00:09:18.057 --> 00:09:20.393 align:center
Then we'll see
if the crown is in there too.

00:09:20.476 --> 00:09:22.937 align:center
No problem.Hey, buddy!

00:09:23.020 --> 00:09:26.065 align:center
Uh, baby it up a little. Try crying.

00:09:26.607 --> 00:09:28.192 align:center
Wah!

00:09:28.276 --> 00:09:30.111 align:center
I'm coming, sweet child!

00:09:30.736 --> 00:09:32.071 align:center
What's wrong, son?

00:09:32.154 --> 00:09:34.407 align:center
I had a bad dream.

00:09:34.490 --> 00:09:38.786 align:center
It was a dream, and in the dream,
somebody stole my sippy cup.

00:09:38.869 --> 00:09:41.664 align:center
And I-I wonder,
do you think you can lock it up

00:09:41.747 --> 00:09:45.167 align:center
wherever you keep
your most precious objects?

00:09:45.251 --> 00:09:48.754 align:center
Oh, surrounded
by all the wealth in the world,

00:09:48.838 --> 00:09:53.175 align:center
and yet my little tike is worried
about a simple plastic cup.

00:09:53.676 --> 00:09:57.013 align:center
The things that really matter
are the things we love the most.

00:09:57.096 --> 00:10:00.474 align:center
And that is you now, my boy.

00:10:00.558 --> 00:10:01.767 align:center
So, off I go.

00:10:21.287 --> 00:10:24.874 align:center
He likes the most hideous things.

00:10:40.723 --> 00:10:41.891 align:center
Target acquired.

00:10:41.974 --> 00:10:44.810 align:center
Time for phase three,
getting the team inside.

00:10:44.894 --> 00:10:49.190 align:center
"And the upper class
lived happily ever after.

00:10:49.273 --> 00:10:50.983 align:center
The end."

00:10:51.067 --> 00:10:52.401 align:center
Ah, that was great, Pops.

00:10:52.485 --> 00:10:56.322 align:center
But you know what would make me feel like
a big boy? If I could read it on my own.

00:10:56.405 --> 00:10:58.157 align:center
Maybe you could hire me a tutor?

00:11:02.286 --> 00:11:05.373 align:center
Greetings, salutations, and remembrances.

00:11:05.456 --> 00:11:09.585 align:center
My vocabulary is very extensive
because I'm an expert reader.

00:11:10.086 --> 00:11:11.087 align:center
Come in.

00:11:11.670 --> 00:11:15.216 align:center
-Ouch! Owie!
-Shark, just take the glasses off.

00:11:15.299 --> 00:11:18.678 align:center
No can do.
I built the entire character around them.

00:11:20.596 --> 00:11:22.056 align:center
And what does this say?

00:11:24.225 --> 00:11:27.895 align:center
Don't take this the wrong way, Papa,
but you're a terrible cook.

00:11:27.978 --> 00:11:30.523 align:center
Think we could hire somebody? Please?

00:11:35.319 --> 00:11:36.904 align:center
Somebody order a chef?

00:11:36.987 --> 00:11:39.448 align:center
Phase three complete. I can't believe it.

00:11:39.532 --> 00:11:42.326 align:center
We're actually pulling off the BBBG.

00:11:42.410 --> 00:11:44.787 align:center
It's all because of me.
I really am a great mentor.

00:11:44.870 --> 00:11:45.871 align:center
Oh! Ow!

00:11:47.248 --> 00:11:48.374 align:center
Time for phase four.

00:11:48.457 --> 00:11:51.502 align:center
Snake, you keep the baron occupied
while the team gets that crown.

00:11:53.879 --> 00:11:57.007 align:center
Uh, Papa, could you tell me a story?

00:11:57.091 --> 00:11:58.384 align:center
Preferably a long one.

00:11:59.468 --> 00:12:03.264 align:center
A very, uh, very long one.

00:12:03.347 --> 00:12:07.601 align:center
I'll tell you about
the first time I fell in love.

00:12:07.685 --> 00:12:11.105 align:center
I was sitting in a diner when,
suddenly, approaching me,

00:12:11.188 --> 00:12:12.565 align:center
I saw a lovely,

00:12:12.648 --> 00:12:13.983 align:center
round,

00:12:14.066 --> 00:12:15.693 align:center
smoking-hot…

00:12:16.402 --> 00:12:17.486 align:center
bowl of soup.

00:12:18.028 --> 00:12:20.239 align:center
Delivered by a waitress
named Esmerelda, I think.

00:12:20.322 --> 00:12:23.534 align:center
But this soup was incredible!

00:12:23.617 --> 00:12:27.371 align:center
It had pumpkin,
it had cardamom, it had soul.

00:12:27.455 --> 00:12:29.790 align:center
Uh, what do we do?
This is usually Snake's part.

00:12:29.874 --> 00:12:30.750 align:center
Don't worry.

00:12:30.833 --> 00:12:35.463 align:center
I have Snake's copy of The Boxman's Code:
Unlocking the Secrets of Unlocking.

00:12:35.546 --> 00:12:38.799 align:center
-First, face the lock.
-Well, duh! Who wouldn't know how to--

00:12:38.883 --> 00:12:41.635 align:center
This is impossible.
We're never gonna find the vault.

00:12:43.304 --> 00:12:44.180 align:center
Oh!

00:12:44.263 --> 00:12:47.433 align:center
And I didn't brush my teeth for a week,

00:12:47.516 --> 00:12:52.771 align:center
so the taste of that soup stayed with me
for the rest of my vacation,

00:12:52.855 --> 00:12:54.815 align:center
which I'm still having.

00:12:54.899 --> 00:12:57.902 align:center
Oh, I haven't worked a day in my life.

00:12:57.985 --> 00:13:01.071 align:center
The power of generational wealth.

00:13:01.155 --> 00:13:04.992 align:center
You know, son, I've never loved
anything as much as that soup.

00:13:05.075 --> 00:13:10.122 align:center
-That is, until you showed up at my door.
-Really?

00:13:10.206 --> 00:13:14.960 align:center
And I want to show that love
by bequeathing you my entire fortune.

00:13:15.461 --> 00:13:18.214 align:center
Does that happen to include any jewelry?

00:13:18.297 --> 00:13:23.135 align:center
Like, uh, oh, I don't know,
a priceless crown, perhaps?

00:13:23.219 --> 00:13:26.597 align:center
Oh, good guess.
But the crown is practically lunch money.

00:13:26.680 --> 00:13:31.519 align:center
The real fortune is my trillions
of dollars in stocks and bonds.

00:13:33.729 --> 00:13:38.609 align:center
T-t-trillions? With a "T"'?
And an "S" at the end? Trillions?

00:13:38.692 --> 00:13:42.071 align:center
Those reading lessons
are really paying off.

00:13:42.154 --> 00:13:43.197 align:center
Yes, my dear son.

00:13:43.280 --> 00:13:46.283 align:center
And they will all be yours to inherit

00:13:46.367 --> 00:13:49.245 align:center
once you become an adult.

00:13:50.871 --> 00:13:54.250 align:center
You know, Pops, all this talk about money
has made me greedy.

00:13:54.333 --> 00:13:55.751 align:center
I-I mean, hungry.

00:13:55.834 --> 00:13:57.753 align:center
I'm still learning my words.

00:13:57.837 --> 00:14:00.381 align:center
I'm gonna go grab a snack.
Now, don't you go anywhere.

00:14:00.464 --> 00:14:03.175 align:center
Ooh, I want to hear more stories
about your, uh…

00:14:03.259 --> 00:14:05.719 align:center
I mean, our money.

00:14:12.309 --> 00:14:16.313 align:center
Put that back!
I've got an even bigger score for us.

00:14:16.397 --> 00:14:21.068 align:center
My papa's trillion-dollar fortune!

00:14:21.151 --> 00:14:23.487 align:center
Your papa? Snake, no. Don't do this again.

00:14:23.571 --> 00:14:25.322 align:center
Just stick to the plan.

00:14:25.406 --> 00:14:26.532 align:center
No, Wolfie! Wolf!

00:14:26.615 --> 00:14:28.909 align:center
Just think,
if we play it cool for another,

00:14:28.993 --> 00:14:32.663 align:center
I don't know, a decade or two,
we'll walk away with trillions.

00:14:32.746 --> 00:14:34.331 align:center
No, we can't stop now.

00:14:34.415 --> 00:14:37.251 align:center
You really think you can pretend
to be a baby for that long?

00:14:37.334 --> 00:14:40.838 align:center
-I really do.
-Oh, no. It's happening.

00:14:40.921 --> 00:14:42.840 align:center
He's in too deep. Slap him out of it.

00:14:42.923 --> 00:14:44.300 align:center
I can't slap a baby!

00:14:44.383 --> 00:14:45.217 align:center
I can!

00:14:51.098 --> 00:14:54.435 align:center
-Too cute. Can't move.
-Look away! Look away!

00:14:54.518 --> 00:14:57.229 align:center
I am doing this for the good of the team.

00:14:59.648 --> 00:15:04.695 align:center
We're about to pull off the longest
long con in history.

00:15:04.778 --> 00:15:06.906 align:center
Heistory!No, too late.

00:15:06.989 --> 00:15:08.616 align:center
Snake! No!

00:15:10.326 --> 00:15:13.037 align:center
This is exactly why
we should have never tried the BBBG!

00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:17.499 align:center
Wolf, your friends need you,
and you're the only one who can save them.

00:15:17.583 --> 00:15:19.752 align:center
You're the mentor now, Wolf.

00:15:19.835 --> 00:15:21.128 align:center
You can do this.

00:15:21.211 --> 00:15:24.965 align:center
The voice of my former mentor encouraging
me from the grave after all these years?

00:15:25.049 --> 00:15:27.343 align:center
-Heist Heaven does exist?
-What? No!

00:15:27.426 --> 00:15:29.303 align:center
It's Webs. Pull it together, man!

00:15:29.386 --> 00:15:30.804 align:center
Oh, right. Sorry.

00:15:32.306 --> 00:15:33.349 align:center
Hmm.

00:15:33.933 --> 00:15:34.892 align:center
Hmm.

00:15:35.392 --> 00:15:36.852 align:center
I know what I have to do.

00:15:39.772 --> 00:15:41.190 align:center
Pops, we talked about this.

00:15:41.273 --> 00:15:45.152 align:center
I am way too old for the airplane.
Do the choo-choo train instead.

00:15:45.235 --> 00:15:47.905 align:center
Whoo-whoo! Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga.

00:15:48.739 --> 00:15:50.699 align:center
Ah, that's good stuff.

00:15:52.034 --> 00:15:53.369 align:center
-Papa?
-Uh, do I know you?

00:15:53.452 --> 00:15:55.496 align:center
Hey, Pops?

00:15:55.579 --> 00:15:57.456 align:center
Uh, I-I'm ready for bed.

00:15:57.539 --> 00:16:00.376 align:center
Why don't you make this stranger go away,

00:16:00.459 --> 00:16:02.252 align:center
and take me to my room?

00:16:04.964 --> 00:16:08.801 align:center
Don't go! I-I'm your long-lost son.
My mother's name was Esmerelda.

00:16:08.884 --> 00:16:11.261 align:center
She always told stories
about the handsome baron

00:16:11.345 --> 00:16:12.888 align:center
that would come into her diner.

00:16:12.972 --> 00:16:14.848 align:center
I've been looking for you for years.

00:16:15.933 --> 00:16:17.559 align:center
She told me to bring you this.

00:16:19.144 --> 00:16:20.938 align:center
Oh, you do have her eyes.

00:16:21.021 --> 00:16:23.315 align:center
Pumpkin? Cardamom?

00:16:23.399 --> 00:16:28.821 align:center
I would recognize the delicious aroma
of that soup anywhere.

00:16:28.904 --> 00:16:30.239 align:center
Oh, it must be true!

00:16:30.322 --> 00:16:32.783 align:center
Come on in, new new son.

00:16:36.954 --> 00:16:41.208 align:center
No way! The baron's real son showed up
right in the middle of our thing?

00:16:41.291 --> 00:16:44.712 align:center
-You know that's Wolf, right?
-Wolf is the baron's real son?!

00:16:44.795 --> 00:16:47.756 align:center
Shh! I want to hear this.
Wolf is doing the unthinkable.

00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:51.927 align:center
He's trying to pull off an LLLG,
the Long Lost Lovechild Gambit,

00:16:52.011 --> 00:16:54.388 align:center
while confronting
the failures of his past.

00:16:57.266 --> 00:16:59.810 align:center
Oh, sorry, boys. I couldn't find the chef.

00:16:59.893 --> 00:17:01.687 align:center
Probably pulled a Debra.

00:17:01.770 --> 00:17:05.566 align:center
Fortunately, we have one heck
of a bowl of soup to share.

00:17:05.649 --> 00:17:07.693 align:center
You know, you look kind of familiar.

00:17:07.776 --> 00:17:09.862 align:center
Don't see how that's possible.

00:17:09.945 --> 00:17:13.949 align:center
Ah, but maybe you just remind me of
a character from a book I was reading.

00:17:14.032 --> 00:17:16.660 align:center
He had a very unhappy ending.

00:17:16.744 --> 00:17:21.290 align:center
Not to brag, but your brother is
a pretty advanced reader.

00:17:21.373 --> 00:17:24.877 align:center
The joys of fatherhood,
teaching your child to read.

00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:26.920 align:center
By hiring a person to do that for you.

00:17:27.004 --> 00:17:29.173 align:center
He seems mature for his age.
How old are you?

00:17:29.256 --> 00:17:30.382 align:center
I don't know. Four?

00:17:31.467 --> 00:17:34.219 align:center
F-five-ish? No, three. Wait, no!

00:17:34.303 --> 00:17:36.722 align:center
Like, maybe, you know, one to six?

00:17:36.805 --> 00:17:38.057 align:center
That's an interesting age.

00:17:38.140 --> 00:17:40.768 align:center
I was born in a leap year,
so it's actually pretty normal.

00:17:41.268 --> 00:17:42.686 align:center
I remember being that age.

00:17:42.770 --> 00:17:45.439 align:center
Being young,
never knowing when to stop playing

00:17:45.522 --> 00:17:49.026 align:center
and focus on
what I was supposed to be doing.

00:17:49.109 --> 00:17:51.320 align:center
No idea what you're talking about.

00:17:51.403 --> 00:17:54.114 align:center
And I'd watch what I say if I were you.

00:18:01.580 --> 00:18:03.749 align:center
Sibling rivalries are to be expected,

00:18:03.832 --> 00:18:07.294 align:center
but just know
that I love you both the same.

00:18:09.379 --> 00:18:14.301 align:center
Boy, all this reuniting with family
has tired me out.

00:18:14.384 --> 00:18:17.554 align:center
I guess I'll see you
in the morning, baby bro.

00:18:17.638 --> 00:18:21.767 align:center
Actually, I was thinking my big bro and I
could have a sleepover.

00:18:21.850 --> 00:18:23.936 align:center
Really get to bond.

00:18:24.019 --> 00:18:26.438 align:center
That is a beautiful idea.

00:18:28.107 --> 00:18:29.441 align:center
Mwah! Mwah!

00:18:34.571 --> 00:18:36.990 align:center
Where do you think you're going?

00:18:37.074 --> 00:18:38.367 align:center
To rescue our team.

00:18:43.247 --> 00:18:45.499 align:center
You never know when to stop.
You get in too deep.

00:18:45.582 --> 00:18:47.543 align:center
I know exactly what I'm doing.

00:18:47.626 --> 00:18:51.171 align:center
-Stealing trillions of dollars.
-What are you talking about?

00:18:51.255 --> 00:18:52.297 align:center
It will never work.

00:18:52.381 --> 00:18:54.675 align:center
You can't pretend to be his son
for 20 years.

00:18:54.758 --> 00:18:58.971 align:center
You're just afraid of blowing it again,
like you did with your mentor.

00:19:01.014 --> 00:19:02.349 align:center
I'm the mentor now.

00:19:02.432 --> 00:19:06.103 align:center
I'm making sure The Bad Guys get out
with the crown, as planned.

00:19:06.186 --> 00:19:07.855 align:center
Want to wiggle with me, little baby?

00:19:07.938 --> 00:19:10.274 align:center
-Think you can stop--
-What's going on here?

00:19:11.650 --> 00:19:14.486 align:center
Papa, help! He's not really your son.

00:19:14.570 --> 00:19:16.196 align:center
He was trying to rob us,

00:19:16.280 --> 00:19:18.157 align:center
but I stopped him.

00:19:20.117 --> 00:19:21.034 align:center
Oh…

00:19:23.829 --> 00:19:27.833 align:center
That's right. Like all richies,
I'm trained in Elizabethan swordplay.

00:19:27.916 --> 00:19:29.334 align:center
I must defend my home,

00:19:29.418 --> 00:19:31.587 align:center
and protect my son from…

00:19:32.588 --> 00:19:33.589 align:center
Uh-oh.

00:19:42.472 --> 00:19:44.850 align:center
The effects
of the de-aging chamber wore off.

00:19:44.933 --> 00:19:46.685 align:center
W-what's going on?

00:19:46.768 --> 00:19:51.231 align:center
Uh… Snakes just, uh,
age differently, you know?

00:19:51.315 --> 00:19:53.775 align:center
Puberty hits us hard, Papa.
What can I say? Hey.

00:19:53.859 --> 00:19:55.611 align:center
The good news, now that I'm an adult,

00:19:55.694 --> 00:19:58.447 align:center
you can just go ahead
and give me those trillions of dollars.

00:19:58.530 --> 00:20:00.574 align:center
Oh, you've got to be kidding me!

00:20:00.657 --> 00:20:03.410 align:center
I fell for a BBBG?

00:20:05.078 --> 00:20:06.914 align:center
And an LLLG?

00:20:06.997 --> 00:20:09.291 align:center
You were after my crown, weren't you?

00:20:12.127 --> 00:20:13.420 align:center
Thank goodness.

00:20:13.503 --> 00:20:15.631 align:center
It's just the chef and the tutor.

00:20:15.714 --> 00:20:16.924 align:center
And… Oh, wait.

00:20:17.007 --> 00:20:18.759 align:center
You're all part of it?!

00:20:18.842 --> 00:20:21.261 align:center
You won't get away with this!

00:20:21.345 --> 00:20:23.096 align:center
Run!

00:20:25.557 --> 00:20:26.808 align:center
Come back here!

00:21:03.470 --> 00:21:05.264 align:center
Whoa! Hey, whoa!

00:21:05.806 --> 00:21:07.265 align:center
Papa?

00:21:10.852 --> 00:21:12.729 align:center
Hmm?

00:21:16.650 --> 00:21:18.235 align:center
Oh, I may be a fool,

00:21:18.318 --> 00:21:20.696 align:center
but I know my precious baby
is in there somewhere.

00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:22.572 align:center
And I can't hurt him.

00:21:22.656 --> 00:21:23.824 align:center
Just go.

00:21:25.909 --> 00:21:26.910 align:center
Wait!

00:21:27.494 --> 00:21:29.746 align:center
Can I ask you one last question?

00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:31.915 align:center
Was I a good papa?

00:21:34.376 --> 00:21:35.210 align:center
No.

00:21:35.752 --> 00:21:37.254 align:center
You were a great papa.

00:21:37.754 --> 00:21:38.588 align:center
And I promise,

00:21:38.672 --> 00:21:41.758 align:center
there's a snotty little rugrat
somewhere out there who'll love you,

00:21:41.842 --> 00:21:44.011 align:center
and won't lie to your face
and rob you blind.

00:21:49.308 --> 00:21:53.437 align:center
Baron von Tuskington
has adopted every orphan in the city.

00:21:53.520 --> 00:21:56.398 align:center
When asked for comment,
the baron said he'd never been happier,

00:21:56.481 --> 00:21:58.025 align:center
or more exhausted.

00:21:58.108 --> 00:22:01.194 align:center
Well, I guess
it's a happy ending all around.

00:22:01.278 --> 00:22:02.154 align:center
What?

00:22:02.237 --> 00:22:05.407 align:center
The Bad Guys pulled off two cons
and got the crown.

00:22:05.490 --> 00:22:08.118 align:center
We only got the crown
because I stepped in.

00:22:08.201 --> 00:22:10.704 align:center
You would have blown it.
You never know when to stop.

00:22:10.787 --> 00:22:13.832 align:center
That's why I've got you, Wolfie.
Always there to pull me back.

00:22:13.915 --> 00:22:16.251 align:center
We're a perfect pair, like oil and water.

00:22:16.335 --> 00:22:17.836 align:center
Let's never change.

00:22:17.919 --> 00:22:20.964 align:center
We did pull off our first con as a team.

00:22:21.048 --> 00:22:22.883 align:center
Plus, I know the perfect buyer

00:22:22.966 --> 00:22:26.470 align:center
to take all that stolen cream
off our hands.

00:22:29.014 --> 00:22:33.518 align:center
Good afternoon, sir,
who we've never met before.

00:22:33.602 --> 00:22:35.479 align:center
Could we interest you in a new cream,

00:22:35.562 --> 00:22:38.440 align:center
guaranteed to keep brand-new fathers
energetic and spry?
back.