[Lascelles] As His Majesty the King has not yet produced a male successor,
nor do we at this stage expect one,
the decision has been taken to start preparing you in earnest for the Crown.
From this moment on,
you will no longer be the heir presumptive,
but the heir apparent, and your life will be quite different.
You will not be able to travel unaccompanied,
nor to socialize as freely.
Your father, the King, had little or no time to prepare for the throne,
which was thrust upon him.
We will not be caught out again.
The Crown is not just an ornament to be worn.
It is a privilege and a burden,
which comes with formidable expectations and responsibilities.
[door opens]
I don't think I can do it.
[Margaret] I could.
I know you could.
[Margaret] I'd love every minute.
To be on every coin, on every banknote,
to be the most famous woman in the world.
I'd be so very good at it.
Wearing a big crown, giving everyone orders.
Yes.
Then tell them,
"Margaret Rose can do it.
Margaret Rose wants to do it.
Margaret Rose was born to do it."
You were.
Then let me speak to them tomorrow.
It would be the best thing for both of us.
All right.
[Margaret chuckles] Good.
[crowd cheers]
[cheering]
[Elizabeth] Hello, you.
Your Majesty.
Just come to wish you a bon voyage and to thank you.
What for?
For agreeing to squeeze in so many public engagements
on what is essentially a private trip.
-And for flying this way, commercially. -[Margaret] Well, it's not so bad.
They've cleared out the first-class cabin just for us.
What's the first stop? New York?
Uh, San Francisco. Then Los Angeles.
Then five days with the Douglases in Arizona.
How lovely.
Then on to New York, where Tony is promoting his book.
-You've written a book? -Uh, a book of my photographs.
Oh, you are clever.
You must make time to really relax, too.
[Margaret] We will.
Be good to one another. Kind to one another.
Both of you.
[Margaret] Sad she felt the need to say that.
[Tony] What?
"Be good to one another. Kind to one another. Both of you."
[sighs] It was a little clumsy.
But she means well.
The two of us...
we're complicated.
She and I are complicated.
[Tony] It's true.
Elder sister, younger sister.
Number one and number two.
Who's number one?
You. Of course.
A natural number one whose tragedy it is to have been born number two.
Hmm. That is my burden.
She knows it, too.
Yes, I think she does.
-[speaker beeps] -That's her burden.
[announcer] Welcome aboard this BOAC flight to San Francisco.
Please take your seats and relax.
We're now ready for departure and will be taxiing shortly.
We'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a very pleasant flight.
-[soldier] Ten-hut! -[feet stamp]
Good morning, Mr. Ambassador.
[Dean] Economically, as you know, Marvin,
the United Kingdom is right up against it.
It's seeing a terrifying run on sterling,
and our credit from the IMF is about to expire.
Now, the Prime Minister has made several attempts
to speak to the President about another bailout,
a rescue package.
But the President refuses to take his call.
[Watson] President Johnson is a busy man.
Too busy to talk to his oldest ally?
Historically, the holder of this office
has the warmest relationship with Downing Street.
Think of Churchill and Roosevelt,
or Truman and Attlee. Macmillan and JFK.
No need to keep mentioning Jack Kennedy like that.
Keep mentioning?
It's just provocative.
Unhelpful.
President Johnson is his own man.
Well, of course.
I mentioned it only in the context of our leaders
standing shoulder to shoulder in times of difficulty.
Morning, Prime Minister.
[Dean] The United Kingdom and the United States.
Historically, it's like a marriage.
Will you talk to him?
No! Screw the Brits! I don't like 'em. I never liked 'em.
If they're not looking down at you through their noses,
they're holding their hands out like beggars.
And I don't give a crap about any special relationship.
Harold Wilson wants my help, he should have thought about that
when he refused to support me over Vietnam.
You can't screw a man in the ass and then expect him to buy you flowers!
-The Prime Minister, Your Majesty. -Your Majesty.
Prime Minister.
Uh, I'm sure that it did not escape your attention
that President Johnson failed to attend Mr. Winston's funeral.
Yes, on account of a cold.
Well, that was the explanation the White House gave,
but it persuaded no one.
Uh... I fear that the President may have taken against me
for what he sees as my failure to support him over Vietnam.
And I wondered... [coughs]
[clears throat] ...in the past,
the royal family has been extremely helpful
in keeping the special relationship afloat.
And given the...
predicament the country finds itself in economically--
You'd like us to roll out the red carpet. Make a bit of a fuss.
Please.
All right.
I shall consult the Three Wise Men. See what they have to say.
Thank you, ma'am.
[photographer 1] Welcome to San Francisco!
Margaret! Margaret, over here! Over here!
[photographer 2] Picture, right this way! Thank you, Margaret.
[Tony] "What we have witnessed in Princess Margaret
is a more vibrant, modern, and engaging version of her older sister."
[chuckles] Quite right.
[Tony] "To those accustomed to the formality of traditional royal visits,
meeting Princess Margaret has been like going from a black-and-white film
to one in color."
What about a state dinner,
like the one held for Woodrow Wilson in 1918?
Or a weekend at Windsor Castle?
The important thing here, I'm told,
is that whatever we offer President Johnson,
it must exceed whatever we gave the Kennedys.
["When You're Smiling" playing]
[reporter 1] Hey, we wanted to see the Queen!
[Margaret] You're seeing something better than the Queen!
[reporter 2] What do you think is the main difference between Britain and America?
[Margaret] Well, my sister isn't on the banknotes here!
[laughter]
[reporter 3] What are you most looking forward to in America?
Liberty!
-[crowd cheers] -[woman] We love you, Princess Margaret!
[camera clicks]
♪ Be happy again ♪
♪ Keep on smiling ♪
♪ 'Cause when you're smiling ♪
♪ The whole world ♪
♪ Smiles with you ♪
Keep smiling, darling.
[Elizabeth] What news of Princess Margaret?
After three days in San Francisco,
Her Royal Highness has safely arrived in Los Angeles.
Any disasters I should be aware of?
No, on the contrary, the trip seems to have been a great success.
Really?
[Charteris] There's rave reviews in all the newspapers...
[crowd cheers]
...with even a name having been coined for the multitude of fans and well-wishers
who have followed her every step of the way.
-Which is? -Margaretologists.
Margaretologists?
-[cameras click] -[Charteris] Yes, ma'am.
Fans who have delighted
in Her Royal Highness's intelligence and articulacy, her beauty
and charm, with one newspaper, The San Francisco Chronicle,
even going so far as--
-Yes, all right. Thank you, Martin. -Uh, yes, ma'am.
I'm a queen, not a saint.
[Tony] That's it. Try not to smile.
[laughter]
[laughs]
[Tony] I gave it!
Not once, not twice, but three times, and you ignored it!
[Margaret] What?
The signal!
Our signal that I wanted to leave.
[Margaret] I didn't see it.
You know as well as I that if you are the guest of honor,
you cannot just leave.
In the course of our marriage, I have lost count of the number of times
you've walked out as "guest of honor."
-Once or twice. -All the bloody time.
-When it's dreary. -When it suits you!
When the people are ugly and dull.
These people were amusing and attractive.
And they made me feel good.
No, no, no, no. The alcohol made you feel good...
and blunted your judgment
to the sycophancy of the people surrounding you.
[Margaret] Is that right?
-[Tony] Yes. Keys. -Well...
sadly, it's not blunted my judgment
to your mean-spiritedness and jealousy and...
general pusillanimity...
pusinalamn...
Small-mindedness.
[Margaret] I don't recognize this.
Hmm.
Come to think of it, I don't recognize you.
Actually... [chuckles]
...nor did anyone else!
I mean, if we're honest...
[chuckles]
...isn't that the real problem here, hmm?
[in American accent] Oh, I'm sorry.
A-A-And... and you are... Tony who?
Oh, yeah! The husband guy.
It's not easy, sometimes.
What is not easy?
Being second fiddle to a pygmy princess.
Don't talk to me about being a second fiddle.
I get so little limelight.
[laughs loudly]
No, it's the price I pay for the sister I have.
But if the opportunity should once arise for me to shine,
I'd appreciate you putting aside the competitive little narcissist
that rages within you...
and letting me savor it.
[shoe falls]
I promise...
that once we get to New York,
the spotlight will be entirely on you,
and your book.
I'll take a back seat
and be the adoring and supportive number two
you want me to be.
And nothing will make me happier.
[car approaches]
[Johnson] Now, you can tell me all you want that 50,000,
hell, 100,000 more boots on the ground are going to resolve this.
But I put 100,000 more men in there,
who's to say that Ho Chi Minh isn't gonna put 100,000 more?
A man can't fight if he can't see daylight at the end of the road.
I wanna see solutions, gentlemen, solutions.
Not more numbers!
By God, I will not be the first American president
to lose a goddamn war!
-[knocking at door] -[door opens]
-That'll be all. -Yes, sir, Mr. President.
[Johnson sighs]
Thank you.
What is this?
[Watson] A peace offering from the Brits, hoping to secure the bailout.
-A weekend shooting at Balmoral? -Yes, sir. That's as good as it gets.
Even Kennedy never got that.
Really?
He got a banquet, a Naval Guard of Honor, but never a weekend shooting in Scotland.
No one has gotten that.
Hmm.
[sighs] Still...
that's a long flight,
followed by a long drive...
staying in some creepy haunted castle.
-[Watson chuckles] -The weather's terrible.
[sighs] And it would involve making small talk to fancy people.
Then when you go shooting,
there's rules, things you do and don't do,
which would involve research and learning...
cutting my nails...
and I'd still get it all wrong.
And then everybody would laugh at me and they'd say I wasn't no Jack Kennedy,
who would know exactly which knife and fork to use and which bird to shoot.
-So, my position has not changed. -Hmm.
It is still, "No, thank you, Your Majesty."
Tomorrow, there's the reception given by the Council of Engineering Institutions
at the Science Museum,
followed by an audience with His Excellency Guðmundur Guðmundsson,
the new ambassador for the Republic of Iceland.
Thank you, Michael. And where are we with President Johnson?
Ah, we went back offering a weekend shooting in Balmoral.
Did we? Lucky LBJ. We don't get enough of those ourselves.
-And? -No response, ma'am.
-What? -Nothing. Complete silence.
-That's a first. -Yes.
And probably not what Downing Street was hoping for.
-Is everyone panicking? -Slightly.
-What about Princess Margaret? -Oh, safely arrived in Arizona, ma'am.
Oh, well, that's something. At the Douglas family ranch?
-Yes. -I've never been.
-What do we know about it? -They say it's quite something.
A beautiful 19th-century country house set under the Santa Rita mountains,
in miles and miles of wide-open desert.
[horse neighs]
-[Margaret coughs] -Tony!
-Tony. -Brace yourselves.
Come along, darling.
-Your Royal Highness. -Your Royal Highness.
[Margaret] No, Blinkie, no kissing. Germs!
[coughs]
[Tony] She's exhausted, poor thing.
[groans]
-I look hideous. -[Tony] No.
Ghastly.
You look a bit tired.
A bit coldy.
It's only to be expected after your...
heroics.
You hated every minute, didn't you?
Maybe.
But that's irrelevant.
The newspapers didn't.
Page after page about how extraordinary you were,
what an asset to the Crown, how underused you are,
what a secret weapon, how deserving you are of the spotlight.
-Your elder sister eclipsed and outshone. -Darling.
-And now you must sleep. -Hmm? What will you do?
Be a good guest and sing for our supper.
-So rest. -I will.
And get well for New York.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Watson] Mr. President, I just got off the phone with our ambassador in London,
who just got off the phone with the Prime Minister,
-who got off the phone with the Queen. -Don't tell me, everybody's pissed.
The general view seems to be
that if you have a quarrel with the Prime Minister,
that's one thing, but no one gets to insult the Crown, sir.
-[urinates] -It's like, uh, treason or something.
How have I insulted the Crown?
By not accepting the Queen's invitation, sir.
Well, I didn't refuse.
I just haven't replied.
Well, now, don't you do this, Marvin.
You're my Chief of Staff, you're supposed to have my back.
Don't you get suckered into this.
You know, they got this whole thing going on over there,
Head of State, Prime Minister, Buckingham Palace,
Downing Street, it's like a double act, like tag-team wrestling.
One of 'em gets in trouble, the other jumps in to bail 'em out.
Wilson screws me over Vietnam,
and she jumps in to make it all good with some bird-shoot bullshit.
We don't have that here.
[Watson] No, sir.
[zips up fly]
The buck stops with me.
Who the hell am I supposed to call
if I want to issue an invitation to get me out of trouble?
[Watson] Well, you call me, sir, your oldest friend.
I'd come up with a sensible plan to get us all out of trouble.
All right. Come up with a plan.
Well, sir, I just did.
This is the plan, right here.
Who in God's name is that?
[man on TV] They came to land at Oakland Airport,
and here, as in San Francisco,
crowds met and cheered them everywhere they went.
The Princess was radiant, obviously enjoying herself.
It wasn't long before her sparkle cast an informal atmosphere over the occasion.
The American people and their press have warmed to the couple,
enchanted by the natural display of charm and friendliness.
Prime Minister for you, ma'am.
Said it was urgent.
Prime Minister?
[Wilson] Just to say, we've finally had a response from the Americans, ma'am.
They've come back with an invitation of their own.
To dinner at the White House.
-For me? -No, for Princess Margaret.
-Oh, that's cunning. -Uh, yes.
That way, President Johnson can't be accused of snubbing my offer.
No.
It also side-steps the all-important issue of the bailout.
Indeed.
But we think not all is lost,
that Princess Margaret should accept the invitation,
go to the White House,
and use the occasion
to win over hearts and minds to the British cause.
It would be a political engagement of the utmost delicacy.
For which you want to send Princess Margaret?
Yes, well, that had been my reaction.
But her trip to America has been a terrific success.
So I gather.
So, will you ask her?
If those are my instructions.
Please.
Well, well.
I suppose the situation is so dire, there's really nothing to lose.
He doesn't know my sister.
[Charteris] Hmm.
Ma'am.
-[knocking at door] -[door opens]
[Margaret] No!
-[Blinkie] Your Royal Highness? -No!
-[Blinkie] Telephone for you. -No!
[Blinkie] It's the Queen.
[sighs]
[groans]
-[lighter clicks] -Hello, you.
Hello, you.
Sorry to disturb.
I know you're on holiday, so you won't want to hear this.
What?
We've had an invitation from the White House
for you to go to Washington
and have dinner with the President and the First Lady,
and we'd like you to attend.
-When? -This Wednesday.
Oh. Can't.
Why not?
I'm going to be in New York.
For Tony's book launch.
Perhaps I should make it clear.
There is rather a lot riding on it,
and everyone is keen, very keen, for you to go.
Perhaps I should make it clear
that nothing is going to stop me from supporting my husband,
just like you asked me to.
-[dial tone] -Margaret!
[Elizabeth] "Dear Margaret,
as a wife, I understand your desire to support Tony.
You know that it was my honest hope
that on this trip you would both find the opportunity
to be more courteous,
more encouraging to each other.
But for now, such considerations must be put aside.
I have asked you this once as a sister,
and now I must command it as your Queen."
Your Royal Highness. Sir. Thank you so much for agreeing to this.
The most recent list of people attending the dinner,
with some brief biographies of those expected to sit close to you.
[Elizabeth] "What I'm asking you to do
amounts to much more than simply attending a dinner.
Currently, there are matters pertaining to this country's future prosperity
that require a concerted effort on our part.
We must heal the divisions that are emerging
between Britain and its American cousins.
You've often lamented that you have nothing to do,
that you are a wasted resource.
Well, the task you are embarking on today could not be more crucial.
Britain currently has a deficit of £800 million.
What we need is a bailout of at least £1,000 million.
Only the Americans can give it to us.
I know you like to do things your own way.
But this is a diplomatic mission of the highest sensitivity.
And I would urge you, for once,
to play things by the book."
Ready?
[Margaret] What happens if I fail?
If we don't get the bailout?
Then we break our promises to the IMF,
exhaust the credit facilities available to us,
face a run on sterling,
and the government would be left with no option but to devalue the pound.
Hm-hmm. And that's bad?
Devaluation?
It's worse than bad.
It would relegate sterling to the second division of the world's currencies
and Britain to the third division of the world's economies.
It would mean international humiliation, political ignominy, and...
financial ruin.
Your Royal Highness.
President Johnson.
["God Save the Queen" playing]
-Good morning, Prime Minister. -Good morning.
[Wilson] I've had an opportunity now
to speak to our ambassador in Washington about the White House dinner last night.
And?
I...
I don't know where to begin.
It seemed the first course had barely been served
before Princess Margaret made remarks about the late President Kennedy
that were...
less than discreet.
I met him once. Kennedy.
I was left distinctly...
underwhelmed.
[guests fall silent]
Margaret.
[Margaret] I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?
I do know these days one's not allowed
to think anything other than what a great statesman Kennedy was.
-Say nothing, Lyndon. -[Margaret] Of course he'll say nothing.
He was his loyal deputy.
Which I think I can understand better than most.
The frustrations and resentments that can build up
from a life as a number two.
The support act.
Even of someone you adore.
You spent three years as Vice President.
I've spent my whole life as Vice Queen.
Except that came out wrong, I didn't mean I'm a... "vice queen."
Is there a strategy in place to deal with the fallout?
Oh, no. There's no fallout.
What?
President Johnson agreed. Thoroughly. Enthusiastically.
Unreservedly.
He said, um, if I remember rightly,
"Jack Kennedy..."
...would've killed his own mother
just to take the skin off her ass to make a drum to beat his own praises.
[laughter]
Right?
I see.
This then led to a drinking contest.
-What? -[Margaret] Last man standing
-is the winner. -Challenge accepted!
[Wilson] Which, in turn, led to a limerick contest.
-Limericks? -Yes, ma'am.
Some of them, I'm afraid to say, a little off-color.
Hmm.
Well, go on then.
Oh, right... Um... [clears throat]
Well, the first one went a little...
"There was a young woman from Delaware..."
Who liked to make love...
liked to make love...
-Delaware! Delaware! -...in her underwear.
-[Margaret] A terrible prude... -[Wilson] "She would never go nude,
And her bum, hips, and tits she would never bare."
[raucous laughter]
What else?
The President countered with,
"There was a young man from Wisconsin
Who was blessed with an enormously large..."
-...Johnson! -[raucous laughter]
Where's the rest of it?
I believe everyone thought that was long enough. As it were.
Any more?
Princess Margaret won the evening with this one...
"There was a young lady from Dallas,
Who used a dynamite stick as a phallus..."
They found her...
You've made it this far.
"They found her vagina in North Carolina..."
And her arsehole in Buckingham Palace.
[raucous laughter]
Bravo.
["Coming Home Baby" playing]
Then, apparently, there was dancing.
Whoo!
Followed by singing.
♪ Anything you can be, I can be greater ♪
♪ Sooner or later, I'm greater than you ♪
-[Johnson] ♪ No, you're not ♪ -[Margaret] ♪ Yes, I am ♪
-♪ No, you're not ♪ -♪ Yes, I am ♪
-♪ No, you're not ♪ -♪ Yes, I am, yes, I am ♪
[cheering]
[Elizabeth] She staggered home at four in the morning,
newly Anglophile President Johnson having agreed to the bailout,
the special relationship more special than ever.
-♪ Without being caught? ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
♪ That's what I thought, you crook ♪
And all because Margaret was all the things
I'd specifically begged her not to be.
All the things I could never be.
Instinctive, spontaneous, dazzling.
[laughter]
♪ Yes, I can ♪
-You're all those things, too. -No, I'm not.
I'm predictable, dependable, reliable.
Well, of those two,
I would pick dependability every day of the week.
Thank you.
But it would be nice to be dazzling on occasion, too.
-You are dazzling. -Hmm.
-You're a dazzling cabbage. -[chuckles]
[Margaret] ♪ Anything you can say, I can say faster ♪
♪ I can say anything faster than you ♪
-♪ No, you can't ♪ -♪ Yes, I can ♪
[guests cheer]
[laughs]
[crowd cheers]
Prime Minister.
Well played, Your Royal Highness.
Very well played.
Thank you, sir.
Shall we?
[clock chimes]
[exhales]
[footsteps approach]
-[Elizabeth] Hail the conquering heroine! -Ah, yes.
Let the abuse begin.
[Elizabeth] Now, you must know by now
any triumph from this family is met with a healthy dose of--
-Envy? Spite? -Good-natured teasing
to keep one's feet on the ground.
Everyone's very grateful.
The Prime Minister said he was going to write to you personally.
Better than that. He met me at the airport.
Ah.
And now we're all racking our brains
as to what to give you to show our appreciation.
How would you feel about the Order of Merit?
Or the Victorian Chain?
You can keep your gongs and your bongs
for all the men to whom it matters so much.
But I'd be lying if I didn't admit to having done a little thinking,
in view of how well it all went...
about us doing it more often.
Doing what?
Sharing duties.
But we didn't share duties. You just went to a dinner party.
In your place.
And represented Crown and country
with, I think we can agree, favorable results.
Isn't it possible that we've stumbled upon something here?
You have far too much to do, far too much pressure,
far too much responsibility.
And I, too little.
Having no role, having nothing to do is...
soul-destroying.
All I am asking is if you were prepared to share a little more.
For both our sakes.
Let me think about it.
I'll see what I can do.
[chuckles]
-[Philip] Don't tell me you softened? -I did.
And with good reason.
Margaret does suffer more than anyone else by not having a more meaningful role.
Suffers in health and happiness.
She's overlooked.
And in terms of ability and character
and intelligence and flair, she does not deserve to be overlooked.
So, why shouldn't we consider expanding the role,
sharing the job a bit more?
[Philip] There are two answers to that question.
Neither makes for pretty listening.
Yes, the system is unequal and unjust and cruel.
Primogeniture divides and destroys families,
the system stinks, but...
in its cruelty and injustice, it reflects something else,
which is harsh and brutal,
which no one is suggesting we rearrange.
Life.
We all desire equality, but here's the thing.
We were not born equal.
-And what's the second? -[chuckles]
Do you remember I told you once
I got drunk with that god-awful monster Tommy Lascelles?
Hmm.
Well, that night he shared with me his theory
about the House of Windsor.
I've never repeated it to anyone since.
Go on.
He asked me to imagine a mythological creature.
A Reichsadler.
A polycephalus, a two-headed eagle.
For the purposes of this conversation,
I want you to think of it as representing us.
This family.
Your family.
There have always been the dazzling Windsors and the dull ones.
-Your father... -A saint.
But dull. Sorry.
Your grandfather, too.
-George V? -Deadly dull.
At the height of the Great War, when the...
the Tsar and the Kaiser and the Emperor of Austria
were dazzling the world, where was he?
He was sticking stamps in his album.
-His wife-- -Queen Mary, wonderful.
Ditchwater.
And so it goes, through George V to Queen Victoria and back.
An uninterrupted line of stolid,
turgid dreariness.
Culminating in me?
Well, yes, but...
alongside that dull, dutiful, reliable, heroic strain
runs another.
The dazzling, the brilliant, the individualistic,
and... the dangerous.
And so, for every Victoria, you get an Edward VII.
For every George V, you get a Prince Eddy.
For every George VI, you get an Edward VIII.
For every Lilibet...
you get a Margaret.
And she may have had a success in Washington,
but let's not delude ourselves that serious diplomacy can be achieved
through drinking and dancing.
Let Margaret have the glory,
but let's not rewrite the constitutional rulebook
because she got lucky once.
And where does that leave my relationship with her?
Unchanged.
You're the Queen.
And she's your dangerous baby sister.
She's outside. She knows we're talking about her.
Then let's join her.
That feverish mind of hers needs no encouragement.
[Lascelles] What you are suggesting is unthinkable.
The order of succession to the throne is determined
by the Act of Settlement of 1701,
not the wild and irresponsible whims
of young princesses.
The principle of undisturbed hereditary descent is a pillar
of stability and perpetuity for the nation.
Princess Elizabeth's destiny is to accede to the throne.
Yours is to serve and support.
I would urge you to accept your position in life...
and to dismiss forthwith any childish notions
about rewriting the rule books that it might better suit your character.
We all have a role to play.
Princess Elizabeth's will be center-stage,
and yours, ma'am, will be from the wings.
[door opens]
Margaret!
[door closes]
["When You're Smiling" playing]
♪ When you're smiling ♪
♪ The whole world smiles with you ♪
♪ When you're laughing ♪
♪ The sun comes shining through ♪
♪ But when you're crying ♪
♪ You bring all the rain ♪
♪ So, stop your sighing ♪
♪ Be happy again ♪
♪ Keep on smiling ♪
♪ 'Cause when you're smiling ♪
♪ The whole world smiles with you ♪