[Joe] Previously on You...
Joe Goldberg?
[Maddie] I heard about you and Candace.
She thought she could be happier with some guy in Rome.
Peach doesn't go anywhere without that laptop.
If only I could see inside.
Guinevere Beck?
This is the work of a sick mind.
She's obsessed with you.
She wants you all to herself.
It is exhausting being your friend!
I don't need to love your self-absorbed poetry
in order to be kind to you.
Beck rarely knows what's best for her.
[Joe] I couldn't agree more.
It's freeing in a way, to know for certain what I have to do to protect you.
Paco, what did you do?
I didn't know how many sleeping pills would knock him out.
[retching]
[grunting]
Hey, you.
Peach was attacked in Central Park in broad daylight.
I'm headed to the ER now.
She's alive?
It's been three whole days since I've seen you.
I failed you, Beck.
And this is my punishment. Is this my walk to the gallows?
Should I be preparing last words?
Some humans, Beck, are cancer.
Peach is stage four metastatic.
I tried to cut out the mass before it consumed you. But now?
Best case, I gotta go in there and win an Oscar kissing the ring.
Worst case...
she knows it was me.
And it's over.
Is this an ambush? Will you love me in prison?
[Beck] Hi. [gasps]
Oh, no.
I can't believe I told you to get involved with your neighbor's shit.
It's okay. It's not your fault.
God, I've missed you.
How's Peach?
Oh, as well as can be expected.
Um, do you mind taking off your shoes?
And anything that has touched other people or the subway?
Sure.
[Peach] Look who is here.
How are you feeling, Peach?
I'm on to you.
[Joe] Hmm?
Is this it? The noose, tightening?
You play the gormless ne'er-do-well, and yet...
-And yet? -It was you.
You're the one that warned me. I have a stalker.
[Joe] Ha!
-Oh. -We're trying to figure out who it is.
You know, they say most people are stalked by someone they know.
I mean, isn't that terrifying?
It's like I'm finally understanding the dark side of celebrity.
This beauty blogger I know is on her third stalker.
Becks, I'd love some more tea.
[Joe] Oh, my shackled Cinderella, if Peach gets her way,
you'll be making organic concussion tonic until your beauty fades.
Oh, do you want some? It'd be good for your head.
No, I'm okay. Thank you.
You have pages due.
You have a boyfriend with a black eye. None of this is okay.
Actually, I'm gonna...
Hey, how long is she gonna stay here?
I don't know. Maybe indefinitely?
She's afraid to stay at her house, which I understand.
They let her out of the hospital pretty quick.
Like, three days. I mean, it was a concussion.
[stuttering] I don't think she should be your responsibility.
Hey...
when this is all over, let's go away somewhere.
Just you and me.
[Peach] Sorry to interrupt.
No, it's fine. What's up?
Just, you know, given everything that I've been through, um,
male energy in my healing space just isn't optimal.
So, would you mind asking Joseph to leave us?
I think he heard you, Peach.
I don't need confrontation right now. And have him take his gift with him.
I gotta run some errands.
[Beck] I'm sorry.
[Peach] Uh, Beck, my tea?
[Beck] Peach, come lay down. You look dizzy.
Peach, you really need to relax.
[Joe] Paris. Two tickets. First class. I underestimated her.
She's not thinking about me at all. She's busy making you all hers, forever.
And I put you right in her pocket,
where you can't write, you can't love.
You can't be you, if you're living for Peach.
I won't let it happen. I need a new plan.
[Peach] I'm glad you were all here for me.
[Joe] Because, now,
it's war.
[Paco] Hey, Joe!
I'm so sorry, Joe.
[chuckles] It's okay. It's okay, man. We're good. We're good, I promise.
Go inside, mijo.
Just a little something to say thank you.
-A specialty. Fudge brownies. -Oh, thank you.
It was kind of you to get involved.
I know things have been a little bumpy here, the past few weeks.
[Joe] Try months.
I just want you to know that we're working on it.
So, if you're thinking of pressing charges or anything...
[Joe] And expose Paco's little chemistry experiment? No.
Claudia--
This whole experience really did something to Ron.
And I know how it sounds, but I feel like it changed him.
Like he wants to do better.
People don't change.
And I'm not gonna press charges.
Thank you, Joe.
I owe you one.
-Hey. -I only got a minute.
Peach is getting an IV vitamin treatment across town, but I wanted to see you.
Is everything okay?
Listen, I'm going away for a few days.
Peach's family has a place in Greenwich and she said she'd feel safer there.
[Joe] I bet she would.
And what about school?
-What about us? -Joe, she almost died.
[Joe] But not quite.
I know you've been through a lot, but risking your future
for the same person who tried to sabotage your career,
like, a week ago... I mean, it's a little crazy.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
But I'm always gonna be honest with you, and honestly...
she's manipulating you.
Why in the world would she want--
Because... You really can't see this?
If you become your own person, she won't be able to control you.
I know that you don't want to hear it, but the suicide attempt was a show.
She was never in any real danger.
Oh, so, she just attacked herself in the park?
No. No. I'm not saying that.
Good. Because the whole victim blaming is starting to sound a little 4chan.
Yeah. Uh...
She's in love with you. You know that, right?
-I gotta go. -Beck, no. I'm sorry. Wait--
No, it's fine. Thank you for being honest.
[Joe] Okay. Think. Peach is taking you out of town.
But that's just a prelude.
She eases you into her world and then snatches you away forever.
I'd follow you, of course, but, Beck, I hate French food,
and you love New York, and I need to save you.
Ah, my face is killing me. Thanks a billion, Ron.
Okay, Greenwich. That's where this stops.
Connecticut's Gold Coast.
Land of hedge fund managers and Mayflower descendants.
Shouldn't be hard to find you.
World gets a lot smaller when you only have to search one percent of it.
And just like that, the Internet gods provide.
Only an hour drive. I love a mini road trip.
I used to take 'em all the time with Candace.
It'd be nice to make new, happier memories, actually.
If I'm headed into one-percent land, I'll need to look the part.
So, thank you, Benji.
This is not how I lose you. No hesitation this time.
This time, I finish it.
I'm coming, Beck. I'm--
♪ I know you belong ♪
♪ To somebody new ♪
♪ But tonight ♪
♪ You belong to me ♪
♪ Although we're apart ♪
♪ You are a part of my heart ♪
♪ And tonight ♪
♪ You belong to me ♪
Candace?
Oh...
Bunny, are you okay?
[inhales sharply]
[groaning]
[siren wails]
-Morning. -Morning.
Car trouble?
No. No.
-No, but I-- -License and registration?
-I was robbed. -Robbed? By who?
[chuckles]
Have you had anything to drink this morning, Mr...
[Joe] I need to think, or it's game over.
I'm sorry, Spencer Hewitt.
Can you step out of the car, please?
Absolutely.
Put your hands on the Buick, sir. Take off your glasses, please.
You gonna tell me what happened to your face?
[Peach] Morning, Beckalissima.
What are you doing?
Just eating breakfast. I was starving. [chuckles]
You don't eat any of this.
Just felt like carpe-ing the diem. You know.
When I was a kid, I used to come up here,
and my aunt would make this massive spread,
and, I don't know, I guess I got inspired by the memory.
It's easy to forget sometimes. You wanna go to the mall?
Um, you haven't shopped retail since the Steve Madden incident freshman year.
I feel like slumming it. And then we can get lunch.
I am craving pizza like a madwoman.
We can top it off with a matinee. What do you say?
I don't know. It sounds like a lot. I'm kinda tired.
And that's my fault.
I've been a lot to handle lately, and I want to make it up to you.
So, why don't you eat your breakfast and get dressed?
And then, let me spoil my best friend.
Now, eat up.
Just kids. They really kicked the shit out of me, though.
Took my wallet and my wedding ring.
-Not your watch, though. -No. No, I got lucky, I guess.
Lucky he wouldn't know an 80,000 Genevan timepiece
if it slapped him in the dick. Thanks, Benji.
Apparently, it doesn't take brains to be a criminal.
Just balls.
[Joe] If Opie's gonna bone me, I wish he'd lube up and get on with it.
I'm gonna have to go run your plate, then I'll let you get home to your wife.
Must be nice being married to a doctor.
Sure is.
You get out on the water much, Officer?
Yeah, you got the look. I can tell. Listen, be our guest next summer.
The old man's bringing the yacht up from Nantucket.
What model?
Azimut 62S. The Guinevere.
Quick little minx.
You see that? Contempt.
Opie just decided I'm a rich tool
and of no consequence to the health and safety of his jurisdiction.
He won't run my plates.
You know...
maybe you should just get home. Get some rest.
[Joe] No rest for the wicked, but I appreciate the concept.
-Thank you so much. -Drive safe.
[Joe chuckles]
I'm just here to be close by if you need me.
I don't trust Peach, Beck. And neither should you.
This place is a castle.
Complete with wicked witch and damsel in distress.
Guess that makes me your knight. For you, Beck, yes.
Ah, I wasn't planning to break in,
but if you're gonna leave the back door wide open...
Okay. Nobody home.
[exclaims] My head.
All in all, I thought it'd be worse.
I got a concussion once, playing soccer, when I was 12.
Puked my brains out.
Not fun, but nowhere near enough to keep me from my mission.
If anything, it means I need to patch up,
focus, get back in the game.
[sighs] Oh, wow.
I'm so glad we got away together like this, Bunny.
This place is adorable.
I'm not leaving this bed for the next 48 hours.
-[Joe chuckles] -You in?
Oh, I'm in.
[Candace giggles]
-[sighs] -[Joe] I love you, you know?
[grunts]
[door opens]
The spirit of the '90s is alive in Greenwich.
I can't wait to see that dress on you. You have to try it on.
[Beck] So cold. I think I'm gonna take a bath.
Oh. Use the one in the master. It has well-placed jets.
-I like the claw-foot tub. -[Peach] Of course you do.
Because you're classy. Cocktail? I'll get you one.
[Beck sighs]
[Joe] I want to give you a life this grand someday.
God knows, you deserve it.
[Peach] Darling, I made you a Negroni.
[Joe] Minus the unwanted pressure
from an obviously unstable, obsessed person, of course.
[water running]
My hatred for Peach has practically become sentient.
Now, take your time and relax, okay?
I've got a surprise for you when you get out.
Oh, and don't forget to use that geothermal mud mask.
-It is life-changing. Cheers. -[Beck] Thanks.
[Joe] Look at that!
How dare she invade your privacy like that?
It's perverse! God, I have to pee.
[urinating]
I'll double back for that.
Now, how long is she going to stand there staring at you?
Hello?
Anyone here?
[doorbell rings]
-[Beck] Who is that? -Um...
It's the surprise.
[Joe] She has a gun, Beck.
She's not in her right mind and you know it.
I have to do something.
80% of gun accidents happen in the home.
Why is Peach dressing you up like a doll?
Okay, I'm wearing this ridiculous thing. What's my surprise?
Oh, my God! Raj!
Hey, gorgeous. Long time no see.
[Raj] I can't wait to catch up, doll.
-[ukulele playing] -[cell phone vibrating]
I thought we said no phones.
Sorry. It's just my brother.
All right. Let's duet.
You know any Sabbath?
-Uh... [laughing] -[strumming]
[Joe] It's funny what sticks in your brain.
Sounds. A bit of song.
[Beck] Give us one second, Raj.
[Joe] And now, I fear, this chucklehead's voice calling you gorgeous.
I knew Peach was an instigator.
And this is when her trap starts closing in.
-[Beck] What the hell is he doing here? -I thought it'd be fun.
What happened to you not wanting to be around male energy?
-I feel much better now. -[Beck] Well, that makes one of us.
-You're still mad at me. I get that. -[Beck] Do you?
I said your poetry was self-absorbed. And I'm sorry my words hurt, but--
-But? -[Peach] Hear me out.
You are one of the most talented people I know,
and I hate to see you conforming to a system
that is designed to crush individuality.
If you want to be a great writer,
you have to get out there and live a life worth writing about.
What do you want me to do, Peach? Live off the land?
Cousin Inez finally vacated the Paris flat.
I talked to my dad.
He said I could have it and oversee the renovation.
She had a pet ocelot. There was damage.
Wait, you're moving to Paris?
We are moving to Paris, chérie.
Peach, this is crazy. I--
I don't need an answer right now. Relax.
I just want you to trip on it.
Hence, Raj.
Look, Paris could be a new beginning for the both of us.
Say you'll think about it.
[Joe] Don't do it.
Okay.
[Raj] Ladies first.
Okay! To old friends and new experiences.
Cheers.
[Peach] I haven't been this relaxed in weeks.
[Raj] Wait until that baby kicks in.
[Beck] So, what did we take with utter blind trust in you?
Pure MDMA, the slightest dash of organically-sourced opium.
Well, way to go, Walter White.
[Joe] I could never blame you, Beck. Not even for this.
Peach is a master at her game.
Step one, get you alone in a secluded house.
Step two, invite this Raj person over,
fill you with drugs and get you to cheat on me.
Step three, steal you away to Paris forever.
Had to get everything put away and tidy for Raj, didn't you?
I need to find that gun.
So what have you been up to, Raj?
Well, you know, finishing up medical school.
Wham, bam, get it done.
What have you been up to, Guinevere Beck? Still writing?
You should read her poetry. It's beguiling.
[Beck] Honestly, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I thought I did, but lately it hasn't been so clear.
[Joe] It was here.
I bet you're doing better than you think you are.
Beck's just having a little writer's block. It'll pass.
I want to write a book about an injured soul.
Someone who doesn't feel like they have a place in the world as we know it.
Someone on the outside.
You should write about my stalker.
[laughs]
-[sighs] I love that. -I know you do.
[Joe] Peach is playing with me. She knows I'm here. This is all a trap.
I sound crazy.
Head injury. The car. I might be a little crazy right now.
No. No, no, no. I'm not.
I'm not. This is real. She had a gun. Somewhere.
You're not safe.
Raj, feel how soft this feels.
It is soft.
You smell good.
So do you.
[Beck laughing]
Platonic massage train! I call front!
[Raj] I need a sec. I'm spinning out.
I got you.
[Joe] Is this rock bottom? Because it sure feels like it.
Do you see now? I would do anything for you, Beck.
I don't know why Candace followed me here.
It's like I hit my head and bad memories jolted loose.
It's a coincidence, Beck. You and she are nothing alike.
Nothing. Or maybe you are. I can't tell anymore.
-How good does that feel? -Oh, my gosh.
Ah.
[Joe] Beck, run!
Can't you feel what she's doing? What she wants?
[moaning]
Don't you want to run?
Maybe you don't.
-[Beck] Okay, way too far. -[Joe] Yes.
-I said, "Platonic massage train." -Oh, Beck, you're always so skittish.
Yeah, "platonic" means friends just being friendly.
Yeah, well, I have a boyfriend.
[Joe] Yes, you do. My perfect girl.
-Well, I don't. -Me, neither.
I think I need to dance. I'm gonna go dance.
[Joe] I feel bad for Peach, really.
It's tragic not to be able to show who you really are.
And it's turned her poisonous.
[Peach moaning] That feels good.
Okay, no.
Yeah, a little lower.
[Joe] Oh, my. I bet Harry never had to do this for Sally.
-[Raj] Like that? -[Peach] Yeah.
[cell phone vibrates]
[Peach] Okay.
I have something. Okay.
[Beck] Hi.
[Peach and Raj moaning]
[Joe] Hi.
[Beck] I think I'm done being mad at you now.
[cell phone chimes]
[Joe] Okay, be right back. Just gonna climb in from off this ledge...
[Beck] You're cute.
[Joe] I really am sorry.
[Beck] I know. Joe?
[Joe] Yes?
[Beck] I don't want to go to Paris.
[Joe] Note to self: no Paris.
[cell phone vibrates]
[Peach] Okay. I know he's down here somewhere.
-[Raj chuckles] All right. -[Peach] Um...
I swear it was here. I just used it.
-Oh. Okay. -[Raj chuckles]
[Joe] Another thing I keep learning...
-[Peach] Yes. -[Raj] You got it?
[Joe] Things can always get worse.
-[Peach] You want this? -[Raj] I don't not want it.
[Peach] Okay. Here he comes, Big Daddy.
[Joe] Oh, Beck, I'm so boned. But not as boned as Raj is about to be.
[Raj] Oh, God, that's interesting.
[Joe groans] I feel like Colonel Kurtz.
An entire night of listening to Peach Salinger.
Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over.
The horror. One thing got me through the long night.
My mantra. You miss me.
Packed already? We don't leave for another two days.
Yeah, about that. I'm going back to the city.
Good. Great. You have stuff to wrap up. And then, Paris!
Okay, I've thought about it.
Thank you, but I belong in New York. I'm not ready to give up yet.
Give up? I'm asking you to take a leap of faith.
I mean, do you want to be an artist or an institutionalized cliché?
You're asking me to quit my MFA,
leave New York, my friends, my relationship--
Oh, good God, you've known him for like five seconds.
-I'm just saying that-- -[Peach] Do yourself a favor.
Have some self-esteem, and lose the creepy retail loser.
Do we have to go there?
-I'm just being real. -Okay, you wanna be real?
What was that last night?
-What was what? -You kissed me.
[chuckles] We were all rolling.
-You always do this. -What? What do I do?
Drama out of nothing.
I mean, you were really high.
You were leaning into me, and quite frankly, being very initiating.
-What? -And I went with it, because, whatever.
It was a party. I didn't want it to be weird,
'cause I'm your friend, and that's what friends do.
[Beck] That is not what happened.
Jesus Christ, Beck. Be an adult, okay? Take a little responsibility.
Can we slow down? I'm just saying...
Shit, I'm trying to say I am your friend, so, if--
[laughs] Jesus Christ.
I know your family. I know how they are.
I know they wouldn't be okay--
No. No. I'm sorry, you have issues. Okay?
Don't make your desperate unending need for attention about me.
This entire conversation is insane.
Okay, can we back up for one second?
I am not attacking you. I came here to take care of you.
Of me? Oh, that's rich. It really is.
Peach, you know, Joe sees it, too. He's been trying to tell me.
Of course Joe is behind this.
Joe is trash. Joe is nothing.
You're my family. I'd die for you. Would he?
[Joe] In a heartbeat.
I need a break.
And what?
[Peach] Go slum it with a proletariat? I give you a week.
[Beck] My Uber's here.
[Peach] So, what?
You're just gonna abandon me when I need you the most?
[stuttering] What about my stalker?
I'll text you the number of a private security company. Call them.
I can't believe you.
After all I do for you!
You just use people!
[Joe] You are good, Beck.
You're medicine.
You are the antidote for liars,
and you make cheating a distant memory, and right now,
I love you so much, the ringing in my head is music.
[Candace] Hey!
Give me my phone!
-I don't have your stupid-- -[cell phone chimes]
[Candace] I'm not cheating on you. He's an A&R guy!
I have to seem available, okay? It's just business.
Business? We've been through this.
Yeah, we sure have.
You're lying. You cheated on me.
You broke my heart, Candace. I let you go! Isn't that enough?
There's something wrong with you.
I thought some time away would mellow you out,
but you're jealous, you're paranoid. You need help!
Give...
[Peach] Joseph.
Why are you in my house, Joseph?
[Joe] Oh, I should've shot this Medusa when I had the chance.
[grunts] Peach, put the gun down. I can explain.
This is breaking and entering.
I'd be totally within my rights to shoot you right now.
I... I'm here picking up Beck.
Beck's in an Uber. What are you doing here?
[groans]
My God. You.
What?
You are my stalker.
Oh, I knew something was off about you, and I was right.
How long have you been obsessed with me?
-[Joe chuckles] -[Peach] Don't deny it, you little shit.
You stole my Ozma, you stole my laptop,
and at this point, I'm convinced you attacked me in the park.
Why... Wait, why would I attack you if I'm so obsessed with you?
I don't know how your twisted mind works. Because you're sick?
You couldn't be more wrong.
-I'm sorry. -Oh, really?
Then why are you here, Joseph?
Why are you here, Peach? Why are you?
Beck.
Oh.
This is about Beck, isn't it?
I know what you said to her. You got in her head,
because you can't stand to share her with somebody so much better than you.
I mean, you were just trying to get me out of the way.
[laughs] Oh, my God.
Why are you wearing Benji's watch?
-Why are you wearing Benji's watch? -[Joe] You're right.
You're right. I stole your laptop. I found all the files.
The ones you keep on your friends. The ones with the naked pics of Beck.
Now, is that for blackmail, or personal use?
It's an impressive collection. I made copies.
Now, I have no plans to share, but if anything happens to me,
my associate, Paco, has been instructed to publish all the files online
and send a link to your entire address book.
Now, we can walk away from this.
Peach, we can do that.
[stammering] We can let it go.
It never happened.
Then, what?
We can go back to New York and pretend to be friends?
If you like.
No. I don't want you near Beck. You're dangerous.
[Joe] I'm better for her than you are.
Take the ticket, Peach. Go to Paris.
Clear your head. Find a nice French girl.
'Cause you know, deep down,
she's never gonna love you the way you love her.
Stop saying that.
She's never gonna do it. You can't have her.
Stop saying that!
[Joe grunting]
[Peach] Joseph?
[Peach grunting]
[gun fires]
[Peach] Family, friends, lovers, and all the rest, forgive me for this.
But it's not like you can say you didn't see this coming.
I've always had a complicated relationship with my own existence.
I was given a second chance on life after the attack in the park,
and I've decided not to take it.
I thought I could change,
and by changing myself, alter the world around me.
But change is a fool's pipe dream.
This world is ugly and crass. People lie and people leave,
and the beauty that does exist is fleeting and insincere.
Still, every now and again,
someone comes along who will make you believe in love.
And if you find that person, don't let go.
And maybe together, you can keep the monsters at bay.
I was never that lucky. So, I'm ending things on my own terms.
[Joe] Know that I love you all...
and hope we will meet again on the cosmic highway.
Stay amazing. Love, Peach Anaïs Salinger.
What could I do? She was never going to let you go.
[dispatcher over radio] Dispatch to Nico.
Go ahead.
[dispatcher] I ran that plate you asked for.
Car's registered to an Ivan Mooney. Address in Manhattan.
-Stolen? -[dispatcher] No. Not reported, anyway.
Thanks, Diane.
Well...
you said you owe me one.
[Claudia] You're lucky. The bullet only grazed you.
[chuckling]
I feel lucky.
You wanna talk about it?
Not really, no. If you don't mind.
A favor's a favor.
[sighs]
So, I took your advice. I kicked Ron out.
You were right. People don't change.
Besides, I didn't like the way he was treating Paco.
The kid needs a real father figure in his life,
not some drunken asshole, you know?
[cell phone chimes]
[Joe] That was nearly a week ago.
It's been a whirlwind since then.
I thought I'd have to explain my wounds to you,
but you didn't even notice.
I suppose I can forgive you for that, what with your best friend dying and all.
You did ask me to go to the funeral with you,
which I think is a good sign.
You need emotional support right now, and that's my specialty.
So, the fridge is fully stocked.
I grabbed a couple of Xanax off Annika, just in case.
You're going to get through this.
It'll take time, but I'll give you as much time as you need.
And I know, once the dust settles,
you will find you're better off without her.
You might not ever admit this, of course,
but I'll know, and that will be all the validation I need.
I'm gonna head out.
Just text me if you need anything, okay?
Okay.
Joe?
Yeah?
Can you stay?
I can stay as long as you want.